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“He Doesn’t Talk To His Cat”: 50 Women Share The Exact Second Their Attraction Died
One day you’re madly in love, staring into his eyes and dreaming of your future together. Then suddenly, boom! He goes and does or says something so off-putting that you can’t stomach another second with him. That, my friend, is the ick. It has the uncanny ability to tank an entire relationship. Sometimes it’s a small, random action that weirdly elicits a massive response; like, the way he ties his shoelaces. Other times, it’s something so glaringly gross that most sane people might think you’re crazy if you stuck around to see more.
Someone recently asked women to share the weirdest ick a man ever gave them. They weren’t interested in the boring acts of ick. They wanted to know the seriously crazy, niche things guys have done that sent their significant other's attraction hurtling towards the depths of hell.
Some of the answers were so startling you'd be forgiven for wanting to delete your dating apps immediately and take a vow of celibacy forever. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best of the worst responses. Buckle up, keep scrolling and upvote the ones that give you the ick, too.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
told me, proudly, that he had never read a book that wasn't a school book. Lost all the attraction i had felt for months in an instant.
Upstaged75 6 months ago
As a book worm this is such a turn off that my uterus just clenched up. 😄
Take each 'ick' with a grain of salt. That's the advice from Eliana Saunders, the co-author of a study that explored why some people are more prone to getting the 'ick' than others. And in case you've never heard of the 'ick,' the researchers describe it as the sudden feeling of repulsion that leads people to want to end a romantic relationship—sometimes without a clear or logical reason.
“While this feeling of disgust could be a valid marker of mate incompatibility, it could also be a symptom of [your personality traits],” explains Saunders. “Before dumping a partner because their feet dangle when they sit in a chair, we should think critically about why we’re feeling ‘icked’ out. Ask yourself: Is this something I truly can’t deal with, or am I being overly critical? Is this ‘ick’ their fault, or is it mine?”
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#2
I told him I’m studying paleontology and he looked at me like I just said something insane and then asked “you actually believe in dinosaurs??”
#3
had a normal date and everything was alright...nothing special. But as we said our goodbyes he took both my hands and looked me dead in the eyes... Then proceeded to tell me: "I can't wait to get you pregnant one day". Never spoke to him again and blocked him everywhere. Because what- 😭😭
“The ‘ick’ has become an increasingly prevalent topic over the last few decades. We found references to this phenomenon on social media and TV shows dating back to the mid 90s,” said Saunders, a graduate student at Azusa Pacific University.
She added that her team often heard "the ick" used in common conversation, and decided to dig a bit deeper.
"While we can’t say how long the phenomenon has been around, conversations about the ‘ick’ have definitely become more popular–especially in younger generations," explained Saunders.
"Personally, I became interested in learning more about the ick when I heard that a friend of mine kept a running list on her phone notes app of every ick she’d ever experienced from a guy (it was several pages long),” added the researcher.
#4
he doesn’t talk to his cat.
#5
he bought me ice cream and said "I feel like your owner"
As part of the study, the researchers conducted a pilot analysis of the first 100 TikTok videos tagged with #theick. They then categorized the ick triggers shared in 86 videos—most of which came from women. The triggers included things like wearing awkward clothing, saying annoying phrases, or exhibiting socially embarrassing conduct.
They then recruited 125 single adults - 74 men and 51 women, ranging in age from 24 to 72. The participants were first asked if they had heard the term “the ick” and whether they had personally experienced it.
"They then rated the likelihood of experiencing the ick in response to specific behaviors, completed personality assessments, and answered questions about their dating experiences," explains psypost.org.
Saunders and her fellow researchers found that those who are more prone to disgust, hold others to high standards, or those who score higher in narcissism are more likely to experience the 'ick.'
#6
he shouted at his mum for making him a bacon sandwich that wasn't crispy enough
StrangeOne 6 months ago (edited)
How a man treats the women in his life is a good indicator how he'll treat you. How his mom treats him and how much she does for him on command is a reflection of what he expects of the women in his life.
#7
Asked me what my biggest phobia is, after I told him it he sent me 20 pics of it just to say "Come over to cuddle so youre not scared".Instant block😭
The team found that 64% of participants had experienced the 'ick' at some point. "Women were significantly more likely than men to be familiar with the term and to report having felt it," notes the site, adding that while the number of times people reported experiencing the ick varied widely, most said it happened rarely or occasionally.
Participants said the ick had led them to stop dating a partner — 26% immediately and 42% later on. Around a third of participants said they continued the relationship despite feeling put off. And almost all said they talked to someone else about their experience, often confiding in friends or family. Not many shared their feelings with the person who caused the ick in the first place.
#8
he asked if my mom could work as a maid for his family because his usual maid was on vacation
#9
when i was seventeen i briefly dated a guy that would kick his bedside table whenever i upset or ignored him and then show me the bruises and say it was my fault????
According to dating expert Hayley Quinn, ‘The ick’ was first coined by Ally in TV show Ally McBeal. “It’s a dating term that means you get a sudden cringe feeling when you have romantic contact with someone: and become almost immediately put off by them,” Quinn told Cosmo.
“The ick is different to just doubting whether you want to be with somebody,” adds relationship counsellor and psychotherapist Gurpreet Singh. “The ick is much more repulsive. It’s a very strong gut reaction, either to the mannerisms of the person or the way they behave.”
“It could be that you’ve picked something up in their value system that’s completely different from yours, the way they laugh or tell a joke might completely irritate you, or it could even just be their look or smell," Singh says. "There are a whole variety of reasons why the ick develops, but it’s a deep feeling that this person isn’t somebody you want to be with.”
#10
caught him p*ss in my bathroom sink. the toilet was right next to him, pristine, smelling like ocean breeze. he chose the sink. talked to him to stop it, he never did.
#11
I asked him to hold my small girly purse and he did hold it an arms length away from his body so no-one would assume it's his purse. even told people it's not his purse. Never left a date quicker.
sturmwesen 6 months ago
And here I am fawning everytime I see a "manly dude" walking a "girly tiny dog" on a pink leash. I am still sad I don't get to see the guy that used to walk the Chihuahua of his girlfriend while wearing camo. I always think they must be super chill.
#12
Offered him a salad for dinner. He said he didn’t eat vegetables but only meat. Started whining like a baby. One of the reasons I broke up with him a week later🙏
sturmwesen 6 months ago
I have an ex like that... told him to buy his own meat when he slept over. He used to litter, too.
Singh says that feeling the ick doesn’t mean that the person you’re dating has done anything wrong. “They’re just the way they are and it might just irritate you,” notes the expert.
The study researchers meanwhile say that while some ick responses may help people identify subtle signs of incompatibility — such as misogynistic behavior — others, like disliking how someone chases a ping pong ball, may reflect socially shaped aversions with little relevance to long-term compatibility.
"In this sense, the ick may sometimes help avoid mismatches but may also promote a rejection mindset that undermines dating success," reads the psypost site.
#13
had snot on their septum ALL THE TIME. when i told them to wipe it they were like “it doesn’t bother me” and then proceeded to lean in to kiss me. with their snotty septum.
#14
He said he stopped talking to a friend of his because the friend had dyed his hair blue and he didn't like that bcs it meant that he was gay 🙏 i should've left before it got worse
#15
His mom was shaming me like she could be a better gf 😭
“The ick largely happens early on in a relationship when you’re getting to know the person you’re dating, usually within the first few months or the honeymoon period. You might start to realise repeated behaviours that give you the ick,” Singh said adding that if you start having doubts later down the line in a relationship, that’s probably not an ick. But would be more indicative of just drifting apart.
#16
I had one that would cry and punch himself in the face when I’d bring up an issue that upset me( the issue being him cyberly cheating on me)((with thousands of underage looking girls))
Upstaged75 6 months ago (edited)
Stories like this are why I'm totally fine with being single.
#17
Idk probably when he’d send me stock images of hospitals and say he’s there cuz of me and when I’d point out the obvious watermark on the pictures he’d try to gaslight me saying I don’t trust him😔🙏
The experts says that people often undervalue the amount of unconscious communication that happens in a relationship. “Our responses to somebody’s smell, behaviour, or value systems can largely be unconscious, and the ick usually comes from that unconscious gut reaction,” Singh explains.
The psycotherapist adds that if you feel the ick, you should give it some time to think about whether you could put up with their behaviour long-term. "However, if you can’t even tolerate them touching your hand then it’s not something you can continue to put up with," cautions Singh. "Ultimately, you shouldn’t ignore it. The ick is a gut reaction, and usually the best thing is to trust your gut.”
#18
Taking a glass from the cupboard drinking water and then putting the glass back in the cupboard without washing it.
#19
he kept shoving his face up mine and i had to tell him that i don’t enjoy eye contact (im autistic) and if he could stop and he just kept doing it so that i would “get better at it”
#20
He lived alone but went back to his parents every weekend, bringing dirty clothes with him so that his mom could wash them 💀
#23
his mouth would smell whatever he had for lunch every time we went out (at night mind you), would only wash teeth when showering (probs 2 times a week), would wash hair once a month (smelled like mushy peas), left sh*t in my toilet and when I asked him why he didn't clean it he said his mom does it at home THE LIST IS HUGE
#24
My first boyfriend got upset with me cause I laughed when he said his mum still cut his toenails at 17 years old.
John Mosley 6 months ago
If his mom is clipping them for him at 17 then he definitely expects his wife to take over toenail duties some day. Barf.
#25
I once had a boyfriend and his mom cooked something sweet a classic austrian dish and he started a fight with her in front of me disrespecting her over there being not enough sugar on it (there was and he was hella disrespectful and aggressive about it)
#26
When he dehumanized an overweight person and said it was fine cause he has „Fat friends“ LIKE WHAT💀
#27
He said „oh your in your bed again.“ excuse me sir I just got of night shifts as a nurse I WAS TIRED
MedusaWasBeautiful 6 months ago
Add, "Why alone? Let me be your heated cuddle pillow" and it becomes wholesome.
#29
took a selfie with me on the first date and showed it to people, saying I might be “the one”. bearing in mind he was going through a divorce at the time.
#30
he stated several times that his cousin was the girl of his life and how much he loves her AND got offended when I said I didn't wanna hear about her all the time
#31
He was American and his geat grandma was from Greece. Another girl told him he was not Greek when he couldn't even point at the country on a map and he made big fuzz abt why he was 100% Greek 🙄
#32
spitting on purpose, we'll be outside, just walking on the sidewalk and he'll just spit on the ground randomly. He thought it was funny🥀💔
#33
My ex would pull this horrible pouting face like the one from zoolander anytime we would kiss and pull away. I genuinely used to keep my eyes closed after we kissed because it scared me that much
#34
he was weirdly close with his cousin and his dad would tell me “if them two weren’t cousins they’d be together” and he would spend days at her house and not text me, god knows what went on tbh😭😭😭
#35
He farted right next to me on public transportation and proceeded to call it “marking his territory”
#36
We went on a walk and his shoe lace broke and he wanted to call his parents to pick us up because he couldn’t walk without shoe laces
#37
Specifically put sad background music on to record a guilt tripping voice note 😭
NoRestfortheQWERTY 6 months ago
I'd be interested in hearing what, exactly, his soundtrack was. Red House Painters, or Joy Division, or Nick Drake, or what?
#38
Had him over for a cozy dinner with my friends and he kept yapping about making money. My friend had enough and called him an impressive short king, he thought she was flirting with him...
#39
Threw a tantrum (like actual screaming stomping his foot) because he had stolen the TV from the living room to put on his desk and his mom asked him to put it back
#40
Watched him slowly fall in love with chatgpt (I was still logged on his account after breakup). He also sent memes to chatgpt and expected the AI to find it funny…. And more messed up confessions. I could write a whole essay 😮💨
#41
swore up and down he wanted to marry me... 2 weeks later he cheated and told me he never loved me 💀
#42
whenever he laughed really hard, snot would come out of his nose and spit from his mouth, and he would always wipe it with his sleeve. and also he never read any book (even the school ones)
#43
saw him fake rage screaming. thats it 💀
#44
His celebrity crush was more important than me. He would bring this celebrity up in EVERY conversation
#45
when he was angry he'd pace back and forth and do a little stomp before turning the other way
#46
We both had to swallow a little packet of powder (bc he kept giving me infections) and he was so. damn. dramatic about it. I swallowed it in one go, as most of us do but he spent (not exaggerating) around 20 minutes trying not to cough, leaning over the wall and acting all dramatic💀
JustABored1 6 months ago (edited)
Kept giving you infections?! I think once is where she should have drawn the line!! 🤮
#47
we were together for a couple of months at that point. we fought because I thought he was ashamed on me and while holding hands a couple of guys went our way and I asked "wanna stop holding hands cause youre emberessed?" he let go of my hand and said thank you
#48
he didn’t know how to use nail clippers and when i showed him how he scooped the trimmings up in his hand and looked at me and asked what to do next with them
#49
He kept talking about his ex and when I mentioned it he said „omg no I’m over her I promise“ then he pulls out HIS PINKY FINGER in a PUBLIC park on the SECOND date and says „pinky promise I’m over her“ and I was just so taken aback I just sat there staring at him, in a public park, holding out his pinky to promise he was over his ex to a girl he had gone on one date with 💔
#50
Walked around with a walking stick everywhere because he thought it would make him look cool
#51
he said he likes girls who dress goth/alternative because he has mommy issues- (he’s my ex)
#52
made his voice deep on games if there were females
#53
he hung up photos of me on his wall after only knowing me for 2 days and I even rejected him
#54
He genuinely couldn’t sleep without having an anime boyfriend asmr on in the background, even when I slept over
#56
i rejected a dude, because I was in a relationship with a girl. he said that it doesn't count as an relationship and then proceeded to ask me for a different girls phone number
NoRestfortheQWERTY 6 months ago
I've got to respect the audacity of moves like this. I knew this guy who would call up a girl, strike out with her, and then ask to speak to her roommate.
#57
he would talk to ChatGPT for everything. I'm talking hundreds of chats all with multiple minutes long voice message transcripts telling ChatGPT about the dreams he had that night etc. 😭
#58
his underwear was always stained and had holes (he was not poor), he would bring cereal, box of milk and a bowl to a bed and always fix himself a bowl IN THE BED, he would spend tons of money on shampoos, conditioners and perfumes.
#59
watched twitch streams for hours on end and participated in the chat… and clapped when the streamer read out his name 🙃
Royal Stray 6 months ago
Watching a streamer and participating in chat isn't really that weird, that like the point of streaming? But clapping when your name is read out loud is odd. I suspect the hours on end bit was the actual issue here
#61
my ex screamed at me in public from jealousy of tyler durden bc he thought that tyler is my guy friend (i was making jokes and was 100% sure that he knew who tyler is)
Pferdchen 6 months ago
"Tyler Durden is a fictional character from the novel and film "Fight Club," created by Chuck Palahniuk. He serves as both the best friend and alter ego of the unnamed Narrator, representing a chaotic and anti-consumerist philosophy." Sounds like a pretty solid pop cultural reference to throw into a conversation.
#62
would always try to one up me, that he had a better more stable family, more money, a better paying job. would always use all of those things against me in arguments too
#63
He whispered in my ear "who is my dirty little girl" and then growled at me
#64
I fear that "He was too close to his mom" already is a polite description of what you're asking for😩
#66
After EACH sentence he put three dots so like “how did you sleep…” THATS SO WEIRD
#67
Was not even interested in him he was just a friend - but when I found out he did not know you‘re supposed to wash your Body with showergel and just used Shampoo only on his Head for more than 30 years/his whole life - I was out of words trying to explain basic hygiene to him 🙂
#68
He spent ages looking through a dictionary to legally change his second name because he didn't like his mom + legally changed his first name to a word that was the result of his full name put through a Japanese translator. He paid to change it btw
#69
We were doing it and I looked up and he looked like Louis walsh from the X factor. Mid stroke I felt the need to tell him so he’d stop. He did.
#70
I'm a very ethical girl let's say, and when on a date in a restaurant, or even in front of my parents, he ate and the food kept on falling from his mouth. Why. Just why. Why in such a rush, calm down, the food's not leaving
#71
asked if i was a pillow princess when i was dating him. and when i got creeped out and told him its mostly only for wlw relationships he just said "idk, google said it ok."
#72
sent me a beaty video of him blinking cute, pouting, moved in to kiss the camera then waved really zesty whilst playing a zesty song in the back
#73
HE WORE SKINNY JEANS
#74
he wore a fedora so confidently once that day I struggled 💔
#75
we were holding hands and he was wearing rings, but the rings were too big and they kept sliding off and he kept having to adjust it 😭
#76
We were laughing and the gum he was chewing fell out and landed on my hand 😭
Libstak 6 months ago (edited)
In my late teens I caught a train to work with a male friend. We always laughed like crazy. His chewy fell out and into the handbag of the poor middle aged woman sitting next to us. He went red, then purple then even redder while I had to walk away laughing with tears pouring down my face. He said sorry so many times I lost count and gingerly put his hand, two long fingers extended to tweak it out. By the time he was done, the look on her face, his fire engine red and sweaty complexion and me nearly peeing myself in a far corner had half the carriage in hysterics. You just kept hearing random snorts, giggles and huffing coughs of random pàssengers trying to keep it together for the rest of the trip.
#77
He was a scouser with a scouser accent
#78
he said "haha" twice in the same sentence when texting
#79
Showed up to meet me with his electronic scooter, he wheeled it along side us and it gave me the ick. Me and my sister now measure icks on a scale of 1 to scooter Brad…
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
"Why are you crying? You knew she was going to die." (having just had my 19-year-old cat euthanized in my arms.) There are so many more "moments" like that (I stayed with him way longer than I should have) but I think when he chewed me out for bawling over the cat who was part of my life for nearly 20 years really did in any love I had for him.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
Here's a photo of her. Her name was Wintressia. She was the best girl. hearth_cat...ac157d.jpg 
Happynyss 6 months ago
Sometimes ellipses make sentences look better imo. Especially when it's meant to be read in a certain tone or with a pause between words or sentences.
Load More Replies...
Rika 6 months ago
Most of those were just stuck-up people getting the "ick" simply because their partner wasn't perfect by their standards. It's obviously okay to not feel attracted to someone who does something that you find repulsive, but if you break up with your partner over something completely normal like adding dots to texts, you will give me the ick.
Rick Murray 6 months ago
Started off logical, got weird in the middle, and by the end I felt more for the ditched partner.
K Barnes 6 months ago
Went to look at a new apartment and brought my ex. It was apartment number 420 and he made a big deal about that and kept making pot jokes and comments to the potential landlord, who clearly was uncomfortable with it and not cool with smoking pot. (This was before it was legal.) I did not get the apartment, obviously. I learned that day not to take him anywhere with me, he was so inappropriate and lacked social sense.
Panda Cat 5 months ago
Did he believe people thought Columbus would fall off the edge of the earth and be eaten by dragons? Did he believe the dragons were anything by metaphorical? If yes, he’s truly an idiot. If no, he’s truly an idiot.
Load More Replies...
Apatheist Account2 6 months ago
I don't think it's fair to judge people who want something in a partner and reject them when they don't get it. It may be immature, but if you're repulsed by someone's behaviour, that's normal, it's just that their standards are different from yours. You might be repulsed by white supremacists, but if someone is in the K*K, there's a chance that that's exactly what they're looking for.
Emilu 6 months ago (edited)
I agree (lol phone autocorrect was all “I heeee”; no idea what it’s on 🤷🏻♀️) in that you shouldn’t try and change your partner. Assume that, no matter what, they’ll be the same no matter whether your relationship progresses or not. I was initially pissed when my last BF decided that I was working too hard at uni to give him the attention he wanted and dumped me, but then reconsidered after remembering that he had no further aspirations aside from “maybe being a manager in a retail store”. (Note: It can be a tough gig and I’m not disputing that. How do I know? I DID IT. Whilst at uni.) If you’re not happy when you’re dating, you’ll likely be even unhappier when you’re ‘tied’ to them and their standards are still the same.
Load More Replies...
Ellinor 6 months ago
50 Women Who Thought They Could Be Jerks But Were Put In Their Place, 30 Times Women Didn’t Get Away With Their ‘Nice Girl’ Act And Got Shamed For It Online (New Pics), “Is It In Yet?”: 30 Devastating Lines From Women That Stung These Men Like Poison...
Load More Replies...
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
"Why are you crying? You knew she was going to die." (having just had my 19-year-old cat euthanized in my arms.) There are so many more "moments" like that (I stayed with him way longer than I should have) but I think when he chewed me out for bawling over the cat who was part of my life for nearly 20 years really did in any love I had for him.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
Here's a photo of her. Her name was Wintressia. She was the best girl. hearth_cat...ac157d.jpg
Happynyss 6 months ago
Sometimes ellipses make sentences look better imo. Especially when it's meant to be read in a certain tone or with a pause between words or sentences.
Load More Replies... Rika 6 months ago
Most of those were just stuck-up people getting the "ick" simply because their partner wasn't perfect by their standards. It's obviously okay to not feel attracted to someone who does something that you find repulsive, but if you break up with your partner over something completely normal like adding dots to texts, you will give me the ick.
Rick Murray 6 months ago
Started off logical, got weird in the middle, and by the end I felt more for the ditched partner.
K Barnes 6 months ago
Went to look at a new apartment and brought my ex. It was apartment number 420 and he made a big deal about that and kept making pot jokes and comments to the potential landlord, who clearly was uncomfortable with it and not cool with smoking pot. (This was before it was legal.) I did not get the apartment, obviously. I learned that day not to take him anywhere with me, he was so inappropriate and lacked social sense.
Panda Cat 5 months ago
Did he believe people thought Columbus would fall off the edge of the earth and be eaten by dragons? Did he believe the dragons were anything by metaphorical? If yes, he’s truly an idiot. If no, he’s truly an idiot.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 6 months ago
I don't think it's fair to judge people who want something in a partner and reject them when they don't get it. It may be immature, but if you're repulsed by someone's behaviour, that's normal, it's just that their standards are different from yours. You might be repulsed by white supremacists, but if someone is in the K*K, there's a chance that that's exactly what they're looking for.
Emilu 6 months ago (edited)
I agree (lol phone autocorrect was all “I heeee”; no idea what it’s on 🤷🏻♀️) in that you shouldn’t try and change your partner. Assume that, no matter what, they’ll be the same no matter whether your relationship progresses or not. I was initially pissed when my last BF decided that I was working too hard at uni to give him the attention he wanted and dumped me, but then reconsidered after remembering that he had no further aspirations aside from “maybe being a manager in a retail store”. (Note: It can be a tough gig and I’m not disputing that. How do I know? I DID IT. Whilst at uni.) If you’re not happy when you’re dating, you’ll likely be even unhappier when you’re ‘tied’ to them and their standards are still the same.
Load More Replies... Ellinor 6 months ago
50 Women Who Thought They Could Be Jerks But Were Put In Their Place, 30 Times Women Didn’t Get Away With Their ‘Nice Girl’ Act And Got Shamed For It Online (New Pics), “Is It In Yet?”: 30 Devastating Lines From Women That Stung These Men Like Poison...
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