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One survey found that December (19%) and January (23%) are the months when people most often lie to their boss about why they need to miss work. They do so primarily to rest and chill out (50%), spend time with family (30%), run errands or take care of personal matters (21%), and invent a lot of excuses to get their way.
However, this data might make managers more suspicious than they need to be, because sometimes the genuinely odd reasons people give are actually true. Online accounts show plenty of cases where employees really did stay put due to unusual pet issues or plain bad luck—things that sound made up but weren’t.
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#1
A coworked called in when I was getting off shift and he was going to replace me (front desk at a hotel) and he said he couldn't come in because he had to go donate plasma to get some money for food. Turns out he had not eaten in about two days so he had food for his kids. ( He JUST got the job at the hotel and had not made it to first paycheck yet )
After I found out later that day when he did show up, i gave him $100 for groceries, and a ride to the grocery store.
Midoribird Aoi 4 days ago
Acceptable reason, guy and OP are both good people. He put his kids first. OP for helping.
Daisydaisy 3 days ago
Thank you for being a decent human being for someone in need - not everyone would have done that
RELATED:
#2
My husband had to call in because one of our goats was in labor, the baby was in the wrong position, and I needed him to hold the goat while I repositioned the kid.
Boss didn't believe it (or didn't care, it could have really gone either way with him), so my husband snapped a picture of my arm in the southern end of a northern bound goat and sent it to him.
Karl der Große 4 days ago
One my students came in late and said she had to take her prize to bull to service a heifer across town. I asked why her father didn't do it. She said, "He wanted to, but the bull has more experience."
Betty Spaghetti 4 days ago
I enjoy their cheese, especially with a honey drizzle
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#3
My buddy called in saying “I can’t come to work on time because there is a cat resting on my car”. Legit caterpillar excavator fell on his car from a poorly parked low boy trailer. He got a new car and the best call out EVER!
NapQueen 4 days ago
If it was an actual kitty cat on his car, I would have told him to take the week off - can't go disturbing those little purr babies!
FranSinclair 4 days ago
You can certainly trust a NapQueens cat info. Same vibes
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#4
"Hey I can't come to work today. My fish is giving birth." Turns out that fish is extinct in the wild so they're worth quite a bit of money. And they eat their babies if they're left in the tank with them. No wonder they're extinct in the wild.
Serena Myers 4 days ago
According to Google, this description fits a type of cichlid from Lake Victoria, other folks may have more information of course.
Earonn - 4 days ago
For all the evolution-jokers: in nature the babies can swim away far enough, which is clearly not possible in a tank.
Jaya 4 days ago
Imagine being a newborn baby and immediately having to run (or swim) for your life because someone wants to k**l you 😄 Poor little fishy is gonna feel like he was born into an action movie
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SummerVeE 4 days ago
There are mesh partitions to keep live bearing mothers from being able to eat the babies, who can fit through the tiny openings and out of the birthing area. Also, if my fish are about to have their babies, I am calling in sick so I can watch!
A Jones 4 days ago
If your boss has a beef and you have a webcam, it could work out. >3>
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azubi 4 days ago
This may be not the best evolutionary strategy, but then, isn't evolution all about trying new ways?
BeesEelsAndPups 4 days ago
It's a resource issue. Many animals will k**l their offspring when presented with finite resources. This isn't limited to fish, but rodents like hamsters and rabbits, lions, polar bears, great apes, some birds, etc. For a fish in a tank, the resources are extremely limited, while in the wild they are far less finite.
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Lazy Panda 2 4 days ago
I strongly suspect it's because fish are not mammals, rather than a tendancy to eat their offspring.
Load More Replies... #5
I had a promising new recruit that came from overseas (this was a job in Australia).
He showed up for one shift, but missed his next shift, causing me to pull a double to cover for him.
I tried calling a number of times but didn't get through.
There was no response for a couple of days, so I figured the guy just flaked on us and didn't want to talk to me.
On the third day, he calls me.
"Cpl_crud, sorry. I understand if you're pissed with me and if I've lost the job. I was in hospital and couldn't charge my phone, so I didn't know how to get in touch." (it was 10 Years ago so it wasn't like everyone used the same charger).
I am generally too generous, so I gave the guy a second chance. I worked in show biz an occasionally good people go on benders that last a little too long.
Anyway, he shows up for the next shift with one hand bandaged to the elbow.
Turns out the guy was bitten by a Whitetail Spider. He had a necrotising reaction and they had to cut a chunk out of his hand...
To this day he's been a good friend and has always excelled at his work. And, of course, we still call him "spider matt".
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
I started a job a day late in 2005, and in my first week living and working on NYC, one of my cats died and I got an infection from pastrami in my teeth, and had to miss my third day at the new job. I got an emergency tooth extraction and luckily my face was still swollen when I came back to work. Luckily my boss was laid back about it, but unluckily he was also laid back about paying me a few months later
LookASquirrel 4 days ago
White-Tailed Spiders: Bites are painful but venom is weak; serious issues (like necrosis) are usually due to infection, not the venom itself
Load More Replies... #6
I was a lifeguard through HS and college. One of my guards went home on break, then 5 minutes before she was due back she called in, saying she'd be late coming back because she was saving a bird who fell in her pool. She came back to work with a bird in a laundry basket and we took turns babysitting it.
SummerVeE 4 days ago
💖 The city that I live in uses poison to bait "nuisance animals" in public spaces. It's awful - the birds fall on the ground and convulse as they lose control of their bodies. I saved a pigeon from the LRT tracks on my way to work & tucked him away in a filing box with crinkly shredded paper for the bed. All was well until the pigeon woke up, in a panic, and escaped in the office. Mayhem and p**p everywhere. It followed me home & still visits for balcony treats from time to time. 10/10 would do it again.
glowworm2 4 days ago
I don't know why, but I pictured the lifeguard giving the bird CPR, or doing mouth to beak.
Lotekguy 4 days ago
They should have tiny, tiny paddles to revive their itty bitty hearts.
Load More Replies... #7
My tiny skinny coworker "I can't come in today, a group of guys tried to [attack] me and I send two of them to the hospital. I have to file a police report."
I didn't believed until she actually got sued for excessive use of force.
Apparently she was black belt in a couple martial arts.
Deborah B 4 days ago
If you are tiny, and being physically attacked by a group of larger assailents, I don't think any degree of force should be considered excessive. If you face multiple attackers, you need to go to full force disabling strikes straight off, because they're not going to politely take turns.
Bryan Broussard 4 days ago
I think size shouldn't matter. You attack someone, they get what they get. Hopefully hospitalized..
Load More Replies... Earonn - 4 days ago
Oh boohoo, poor attackers. How dare she defend herself? Fellow Pandarines (and Pandas, come to that): always kick and beat until they don't move anymore. You don't want to have them come after you. And even being jailed for not being nice enough to a ra.pist is better than being ra.ped and murd.ered....
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
Yeah, I'm having a hard time feeling bad for these guys.
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UnclePanda 4 days ago
Excessive force doesn't apply against more than one attacker. That's fair game.
Michael Largey 4 days ago (edited)
Appropriate force is breaking your attacker's leg with a martial arts kick. Excessive force is going over to him while he's lying helpless on the ground and breaking the other one. (Although some would file that under "Just Making Sure".)
Child of the Stars 4 days ago (edited)
In this case, I'd call it Just Desserts.
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Spidercat 4 days ago
Child of the Stars I am old and tired...what does FAFO mean please?
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Siege Rook 4 days ago
One of my Kung Fu sifu's was a 4th-degree black belt, and all of 4'10" tall, and maybe 110lbs... with rocks in her pockets (if gi pants had pockets, that is). I watched her wreck multiple men twice her size ***at the same time*** on multiple occasions. It was always good for a laugh when we got a new student (often who had taken another martial art) who thought they knew something and pull one over on this tiny lady - she put one guy THROUGH a wall with a hip-throw one day, it was beautimous to behold.
Thanos'Fingers 4 days ago
Ya my karate teacher was constantly throwing students into and through the walls too. Guess that's why he's in jail now.
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Lukas (he/him, it/its) 4 days ago
More context from OP: " She got out with a warning, there was a gas station video of one guy grabbing and dragging her out of sight, and one of them had a knife. Most of the guys were so much bigger than her... I mean, everyone else was bigger than her. We started calling her "war machine " the laws on my country usually protect the aggressor."
Kate Johnson 4 days ago
Where is this, that you can be sued for defending yourself against a group of attackers?
Tom Brincefield 4 days ago
Anywhere that allows lawsuits. Just because the suit is filed, it doesn't mean it will progress past the motion to dismiss.
Load More Replies... azubi 4 days ago
My civilised attitude reminds me that every individual case is unique and that it is the state's responsibility to investigate this. Even though I find it difficult to see how anything in such a situation could constitute excessive use of force.
Matthew Barabas 4 days ago
excessive use of force is obviously named as such. theres rendering someone incapable of fighting, and just causing pain and suffering.
Load More Replies... #8
A coworker said her cat hid her car keys. About a week later I caught one of my cats carrying my car keys around the house.
Michael Largey 4 days ago
Of course cats need keys. You don't think that SNL's Toonces the Driving Cat jump started that car every week.
LookASquirrel 4 days ago
I'm assuming they must have had some sort of fuzzy key chain that the cats thought were toys and dragged them off. I could see one of our cats doing that when they were young.
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 3 days ago
Many years ago, my mother's cat, who was hated by my grandmother with the heat of a thousand suns, took revenge on her. Grandma used to set her dentures in a glass full of water on a table next to her bed every night. One morning she woke up to her dentures missing. After an extensive search, grandma found the dentures under her bed. They also happened to be under a big pile of cat p**p. Grandma threatened m****r.
#9
Guy used the excuse that his grandmother [passed away]. It was the third time in 6 months that he used the excuse. When we were getting ready to let him go another manager brought up the fact that he had met all three grandmothers, two were lesbians, earlier in the year.
LookASquirrel 4 days ago
Good to see nice managers! A guy I worked with was raised by his grandmother and she passed away. I was the office mng of our small branch and he wanted me to contact main branch HR to see how many paid bereavement days he got because he was going to take a week off. Our store manager was an aşs. He asked me why he needed so much time of because when his dad died he only took one day off for the funeral. 🤬
Panda Cat 4 days ago
Bully for him. Just because the manager gives no sh*ts about living a decent life doesn’t me we all should.
Load More Replies... Robin Roper 4 days ago
A friend's grandparent's had been divorced, married to other people, divorced again only to marry again. Because these step-grands came into her and her siblings lives at different times they each considered different one's their "grandparent." And because they were an incredibly close and supportive family when one's grandpa or grandma died, they considered that person their grandpa or grandma as well. There were a ton of grandparent deaths.
#10
I had to call in to work because my cat was trapped inside my desk. My supervisor could hear him yowling as I called in. He tried so hard not to laugh at my predicament.
LookASquirrel 4 days ago
I tried to find out more on how the cat got stuck but the Reddit post is 8 years old🤦🏻♀️
#11
I had a TBI and used to experience sporadic anterograde amnesia-- essentially, I'd have episodes where my brain had a hard time making new memories until I (typically) threw up, had a migraine, and slept it off. I felt myself getting an episode and so I called in to work and found coverage for my shift. I lived within walking distance of my work and evidently I kept forgetting I called in, so I showed up at work 3 times because I would leave, be walking home, realize I was late for work and race back. After the third time my coworker called a friend to walk me home and put me to bed. I loved my coworkers, they were so sweet.
Ace 4 days ago
Used to be much more commonly known as concussion. They really should not be going in to work if they're experiencing symptoms like this. Still, at least they weren't driving.
Load More Replies... GalPalAl 4 days ago
Not to make fun of the situation it's like 50 first dates and groundhog day in one person.
Deborah B 4 days ago
Because of the TBI. He's perseverating, his brain keeps cueing up "Go to work, you'll be late." even though it's not necessary. You see it a lot in brain injuries and dementia.
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#12
Once I was very late to work because the steering wheel of my car fell off. I pulled over by hitting my brakes that were out of alignment and was blocking a lane if traffic. People were honking at me, so I took the steering wheel and put it on the roof of my car. My managers were like ya sure - that's [nonesense], do you expect us to believe that... Then a Co worker, who heard our conversation, said, oh ya I saw him and his steering wheel was on the roof of his car.
Nils Skirnir 4 days ago
The mid-90’s era Dodge Neon (we called it the Peon) was notorious for this. My SO had one as her work car and the steering wheel came off on the I-5 while she was driving.
Chewie Baron 4 days ago
They sold that car in Europe and it was slated everywhere in the motoring press. It was just horrible.
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Bec 4 days ago
Didn't stop me from getting around but one day I went to get into my Buick and pulled the driver's side car handle right off. It was a 2-door with a handle built flat into the door, and the door weighed a ton. Think about how many times you open and close a car door - the metal just gave out. I stood there with the handle in my hand for a minute just shocked, then climbed in through the passenger side, which I had to do for a week.
Laserleader 3 days ago
On our boat, coming back and still a hundred yards from the dock, top deck steering wheel comes off in my husband's hands. He gets up to shove it back on, and his captain's chair pops out if the stand. He cant shove the wheel back on and grabs the steering shaft. I jump to the deck and prepare to jump for the dock as we pass by. Somehow we got close enough that I was able to jump off and he was able to angle the 35' cabin cruiser so I could pull it in. Scary.
#13
"I had a baby on the side of the road."... she was pregnant and didn't know it apparently. It was a healthy baby girl.
Boo 3 days ago (edited)
That happened with my first child. My periods were really sporadic and I would have one maybe every 3 or 4 months sometimes. It wasn't til I was in boot camp when I went for my full physical to confirm I was fit for active duty and found out I was pregnant. Discharged and sent home. Healthy baby girl 4 months later lol. Didn't gain much weight (thanks to daily exercise and well boot camp), no symptoms, no nausea, nothing. So it does happen.
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Iampenny 4 days ago
It happens quite often that women give birth without knowing they were ever pregnant.
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#14
I worked part-time at a restaurant while studying archaeology at university. I worked 3 or 4 shifts a week for several years, and one summer I was juggling shifts with days I was helping out on the university dig when I completely mixed up the day, not realising until I checked my phone during a breaktime on the excavation. There were a series of messages from confused and increasingly concerned colleagues, and one from my boss, who had to come into cover my absence on her day off (not good).
I was 25 miles from anywhere in the middle of a field without my own transport so there was little I could do until the end of the day when I popped into work on my way home to apologise again and get it over with, expecting a "make sure it doesn't happen again" scenario. I showed some photos on my phone of the Roman skeletons we'd discovered that day just to prove it, and suddenly all was forgiven with pretty much the entire staff, including the chefs, passing my phone around and asking loads of questions and generally going "whoa!" - my boss even said something like "beats hanging around here all day!" - I didn't say anything 😅.
#15
I had someone call my office phone and say “hey I’m not going to be in today. Or ever again for that matter” and then she’s nervously laughed and hung up.
Turns out, she had come into possession of a large amount of money from her wealthy deceased (and estranged) husband. What makes this even crazier, is that a year prior or so, she called this same office phone and was obviously in shock. She said: “I won’t be in tonight, I just got hit by a truck? Yeah it was a truck.” She then asked me to call the police because she contacted me first! I did end up calling emergency’s services and the accident did indeed happen. Her car was destroyed and she was quite shaken up, but she came out relatively unharmed.
She is a very nice and sort of shy woman, so I was honestly impressed. Godspeed Gail, Godspeed.
#16
In college, I worked at a restaurant and another server tried to call in because her chinchilla ate her wallet. She said she “wouldn’t feel comfortable driving without a license”....after several moments of incredulity, my manager sent one of us to go pick her up.
Spidercat 4 days ago
I mean, points for lawfulness and it's better that "My dog ate my homework" 🤣
BeesEelsAndPups 4 days ago
My dog likes to eat Uno cards. Just the Uno cards, not poker cards. We've gone through three decks this year already. Maybe I should stop buying ham scented Uno decks.
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Con O Cuinn 4 days ago
Is it that big an offence in the US? If I got stopped without my licence, I just have to produce it at a garda station within 10 days.
Bi.Felicia 4 days ago
I doubt the chinchilla actually consumed the entirety of the wallet or driver's license. She probably does need a replacement license but if she were to get pulled over, while waiting for the replacement to arrive, she could present what she has left of her ID and explain what happened to the cop. Plus when you file for a replacement license they typically give you a temporary paper license to use. I just think OP didn't want to work that day.
KatWitch57 4 days ago
I don't doubt it for a minute, A friend's father created a chinchilla cage by fencing off (with steel mesh) a corner of the room, The chinchillas chewed a hole through the brickwork.
Load More Replies... #17
Mine was because I had been bit by a bat and had to go get rabies shots immediately due to the delay in testing/results. 🦇.
NapQueen 4 days ago
A bat at the Singapore Night Safari swooped too low and got its wing caught in my hair. I'll never forget the slapping of the wings against my face!
ChickyChicky 4 days ago
The bat: "One time I swooped too low and got caught in human hair! I'll never forget the weird feel of their face on my wing!"
Load More Replies... BeesEelsAndPups 4 days ago
I was on a camping trip and using the boy's out-house. It was a building with multiple stalls, and a pee trough. As I was peeing a bat flew into the building and landed on a boy's chest only a meter or two away. He started screaming and tried to run out of the out-house. As he ran his pants fell down his legs tripping him, and crushing the bat between his chest and the floor. We helped the boy to his feet and the poor bat flew off quite confused. He didn't receive any bites, but he did refuse to continue on with the camping trip. Pretty sure he never walked into the woods again after that.
BeesEelsAndPups 4 days ago
On another note, I had to miss school because I got attacked by a rat and needed rabies shots. This was not on that camping trip.
Load More Replies... Andy Frobig 4 days ago
The only person I knew who was bitten by a bat, was bitten at work, so they had to believe him. It was under the handle of a trash can he was picking up. I think he tested negative for rabies but positive for a stake through the heart
kiteman 4 days ago (edited)
For anyone curious, if you get bitten/scratched by any wild/feral mammal, if you have the means you should k**l it and take it to get tested for rabies. Just FYI rabies are tested in the brain, so no matter if you or a professional has to test an animal for rabies, it has to be k****d anyway. Another reason this isn’t inhumane is that rabies is fatal and the animal will die regardless, not to mention the early it dies, the less it can spread the disease.
KatWitch57 4 days ago
This only applies in countries where rabies is present in the wild population. Not, as yet, in the UK, so do not go around unnecessarily slaughtering the wildlife please.
Load More Replies... #18
I was the employee - just a couple weeks into a new job and one evening the police served a no-knock warrant on my house. Mine was the wrong house, they wanted one a couple doors down. In doing so, they smashed in the door and I wasn't able to replace it that night. I know my boss didn't believe me, but later I was able to provide proof.
Thanos'Fingers 4 days ago
I don't mind if we keep no-knock warrants, provided any LE that goes to the wrong house, even if they're just the new guy along for the ride, get a Monopoly Go Straight to Jail card and are actually punished for their CRIME. If I kick down my neighbors door, I cannot escape punishment with the defense "sorry I was aiming for Joey's house". Neither should they.
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LookASquirrel 4 days ago
Please read Kiss Army's comment. It's only hidden because they posted a pic🤦🏻♀️
Thanos'Fingers 4 days ago
Even though they pay money to be here. That's ironic
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Snazzy Smurf 4 days ago
If police decide to do a no-knock warrant the least they can do is ensure they have accurate info along with making sure they enter the residence.
LookASquirrel 4 days ago
That's the problem, too often they don't. And innocent people die.
Load More Replies... #19
My co-worker called in to say she couldn’t come in because she woke up with a fat lip. However, she was on her way to work anyway because it’s a hospital and she was worried her lip was an anaphylactic reaction. We all were rolling our eyes because she is full of drama and now our staffing was screwed because she couldn’t work. We all said “Pop a Benadryl and get to work!”
Then she showed up.
Her lip was enormous, like 6 times the normal size, it was pulling the skin from the rest of her face, was super red, swollen, looked like it was going to pop. Her eyes were even slanted from the weight of her lip, it was insane. She went to the ER and it was a bad reaction to a blood pressure medication she had just started. It took a week for her to return to work, but her lips got blistered, oozed, shed all the skin, it was horrible. We all felt really guilty for not taking her seriously.
Snazzy Smurf 4 days ago (edited)
Wow! That would have been scary initially, the not knowing what was going on while the swelling increased.
Amused panda 3 days ago
I'm impressed she could call in, rather than have to text in, if her face was that badly affected by the swelling.
#20
US Navy- One of my underlings went on leave and was gone for two weeks, and on the day he was supposed to come back, he called me and asked if he could come in the next day. He starts off with, "Promise you won't laugh." ensuring I will laugh. His excuse was that he'd gained too much weight and couldn't fit into his uniform. Not the tight dungarees from the 90s but the roomy camouflage the Seabees wear. He was a big beefy dude, so when he went to the uniform store, they didn't have ANYTHING in his size. He ended up meeting an old salty Seabee at the NEX (Navy exchange) while he was searching for the bigger pants who took him home with him to give him his huge pants. Once he got the name tag sewn on them he'd be in (the next day) Weirdest excuse ever, and I couldn't stop laughing. (With him...yeah...not at him...).
Purple Gurl 4 days ago (edited)
How do you gain that much weight in 2 weeks?! not trying to fat shame-I am overweight myself-but new clothes after 2 weeks? I don't know whether to be impressed, or jealous of the partying he had, lol
BeesEelsAndPups 4 days ago
How much weight can you gain in two weeks dude? I was in the US Army in the late 90s, so I'm not as familiar with Naval uniforms. I assumed the Seabees wore the same BDUs as everyone else. Do you guys have a different uniform? For those who don't know Seabees are the Navy's Construction Battalion (CBs, get it?)
Auntriarch 4 days ago (edited)
And there was me imagining yellow and black striped matelots buzzing over the waves. A small world crumbles
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#21
Not my Story, but my friends:
He comes into work at morning and immediately get a call from his colleague. He's in Prague (We live in western Germany), because he went to a Party somewhere in the Netherlands during the weekend and met two Czech girls and when they told him they had to go home he insisted to accompany them as a good (really really drunk) Gentleman. Well turns out they meant home as in their home country, got into a train and drove all the way over to Prague...
He never realized until he finally got off the train. A picture snapped and sent proved his claims and he was excused for work.
Rali Meyer 3 days ago
10+ hours on a train and not knowing where you go? Possible, when boarding in Amsterdam!
Motivated sloth 4 days ago
I’m gonna call bs on this one. He knew exactly where they were all going. No way he didn’t realize how much time was spent on the train.
Earonn - 4 days ago
Doesn't sound as if you've ever been drunk in good company.
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#22
Bedbugs. It was me. My first apartment was sketchy as all hell and our entire complex got absolutely infested. I couldn’t come into work because they’re hitch hiking[ jerks] and I could very easily spread them at work and gift them to our whole clientele. 0/10 experience.
Spidercat 4 days ago
Pandas, for those who don't know...to defeat Bedbugs you need to heat the affected areas to at least 50 degrees Centigrade for one hour to dry them out and k**l the eggs. The eggs look like small black stains. NOTHING else is effective and don't believe in sprays if they are offered by contractors.
UKDeek 4 days ago
Have an upvote for this advice - I know this is correct, as my wife has been housekeeping manager of several large hotels, and this is the only way they get rid of them.
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Laserleader 3 days ago
The best heat method is to have a specialist come in and heat the place up with giant heaters. You just have to remove anything that could be damaged like candles, some art, and other things. Then have powders lining the edges of the rooms and put some in cups and put them under bed legs.
#23
Not an employer, but a co-worker. A guy came in late and his excuse was, "I pulled off the door handle and couldn't open the door to leave". And sure enough he brought the broken door handle with him to work and took pictures of it.
Drop Bear from Hell 4 days ago
I had a staff member who tried to use this.....only problem was she sent me a photo the handle in her hand - fair enough. However, when I rang her a few minutes later on a zoom call I watched as her daughter entered the apartment from the outside and locked the door when she was in. It was the same door. Sigh.
megabeth 4 days ago
This happened to me once! Front door handle fell off in my hand. So no problem I'll go out the back door. As IIm about to go out the front gate a HUGE branch lands on it almost impaling me. So then I try the back gate that was kept locked and the key hadn't been put back so another nope. I wonder if I would have been hit by a bus if I'd left for work on time. Think my boss actually believed me because how bizarre??
Tracy Garvin 2 days ago
I had a coworker who was late because there was a power outage and she didn't know that she could manually open the garage door. She borrowed a neighbor's car.
Wide Awake at 3am 4 days ago
I've had this excuse from a coworker. Door handle fell off, waiting on locksmith. It was one of so many stories from them.
#24
I had boss who kept a list of weird reasons people called off work. These are a few that occurred while I was still working there:
1. I got bit in the face by an alligator
2. My one son stabbed my other son with a fork
3. I can't get out of my driveway because the crime scene truck is parked there
Fun stuff and ALL true!
Purple Gurl 4 days ago
Boss needed to publish the stories and excuses. Sounds like fun reading
Mike F 4 days ago
I have experienced #3. I had a neighbor (a total tool) who picked some mess with some people at a bar. They followed him home to see about it and shot him in his front yard. Police cars lined the street in both directions. The only way out was by helicopter.
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Helen Rohrlach 1 day ago
1.Probably shouldn't kiss alligators 2. Isn't that how boys do normal playtime? 3. That's a legitimate excuse but public transport exists.
#25
Not someone, it was me. It was the morning after a snow/ice storm. I went out and started warming up my car. While it was warming I started scraping my window. At the time I had a really cheap scraper with a piece of metal attached as the part you scrape with. I hit a hard patch of ice on the window and the metal piece broke off the handle and flew into the snow. Between the defroster and scraping I cleared enough ice off the window to try to go. As I backed out of my parking spot somehow I managed to run over the piece of metal from my scraper and shredded my tire. I gave up, went in an and called in for the day.
Judy Reynolds 4 days ago
That's a normal day in Canada, except for the shredded tire.
Load More Replies... LookASquirrel 4 days ago
Sometimes it's not the driving in the snow it is literally getting your car out to the road. I rented an old house where the driveway between the houses is where you could barely open doors on both sides without touching each house. It was a gravel driveway and about 2 feet of snow had fallen. my roommate and I shoveled for hours but there's just nowhere to put the snow. Luckily it was a small downtown college town and we could walk to the bars and eat and drink all day.
#26
First day on the job. Said he was arrested by homeland security for carrying knives (it was a butchering job...). We made fun of his outlandish story. Actually was arrested by homeland security.
michael reid 4 days ago
Friend of mine got arrested for being the Yorkshire Ripper, he worked at an abbatoir and was coming home with blood on him, kinda looked like Sutcliffe too, got arrested
Panda Cat 4 days ago
I’m pretty sure it’s not illegal to carry knives … especially work knives. I knew bad sh*t that would curtail our rights was going to happen on 9/11 as it was happening. It’s almost like nobody had heard of the Reichstag fire.
Tom Brincefield 4 days ago
It can be illegal to carry knives, depending on the size of the blade and overall length of the knife. And this has been true since the 70s.
Load More Replies... #27
I once sent an email to my team telling them I was WFH because a SWAT team was raiding my apartment complex. Boss replied stating "they are on to you".
#28
House exploded. No one is really sure anymore who got the first text/vm or whatnot or who even sent it. It was a bit of a cloud of confusion. But the guy was a jokester (in a totally harmless, professional way, nothing bad) so it was a "boy who cried wolf" kind of situation for a couple hours until news broke that a house blew up over on the other side of town.
RomanceRadish 4 days ago
A house exploded a couple of miles away from us, we felt and heard it. We assumed it was fireworks or a loud truck until we later saw it on the news and it was then a very eerie feeling because inhabitants had died.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
Any time a house explodes, my first thought is a gas leak, and it's almost always right. Several buildings in NYC explodes due to gas leaks while I lived there; in 1990, a gas leak blew up a dozen buildings in North Blenheim, NY, near Oneonta.
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Iberia Cooley 4 days ago
My glass shower door exploded and I didn’t get up because I thought it was one of my dorm mates slamming their room door until I got up a few hours later and noticed the exploded shower door
TheOGpandaHavana 3 days ago
Two houses exploded yesterday near me. Construction workers hit a gas line. I'm now afraid of construction work, lol. New fear unlocked.
#29
I had a girl no-call no-show two days in a row. She finally returned my calls on day three with "oh yeah! I forgot to tell you I was going to be on a boat!"
I forgot to continue her employment after that.
Motivated sloth 4 days ago
I partied a little too much in my younger years. After a particularly crazy couple of weeks, my friend and I passed out at my parents house when they were out of town. We woke up 29 hours later. I obviously had to have gotten up at some point to use the restroom but had no recollection at all. I apparently called and quit my job as well. Didn’t remember that either. My friend was fired for no call no show.
Gaabriel Becket 2 days ago
I was a dumb teenager with my first office job, getting trained as the maternity replacement for a lawyer's secretary. I was an hour late for my first day because my roommate, a model, was in a hair show and the awesome visiting famous foreign stylist offered to cut my hair, too, so of course I accepted that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have awesome hair. My new boss didn't see it that way when I explained I was late because I was getting a hair cut. 5 years later, I now knew how to work like an adult and he ended up hiring me again as a paralegal. He told me he'd gone home angry and told his wife he fired me for my ridiculous excuse and she dead pan told him my excuse was absolutely valid and she'd have done the same if she were me. I worked for him for the next seven years, he was a great boss and I still admire the heck out of him, and love his wife to bits.
#30
I was a substitute English teacher for a kindergarten class in China. One day on my way to work, I had a massive surprise nosebleed (turns out I had a blood vessel too close to the surface of my skin). I didn't have any tissues or anything with me to stop the flow, and it ended up all over my dress and arms. I called in and told them I wouldn't be able to make it in (the class was only an hour long) unless they wanted me to show up and scare the little kids by having clothes covered in blood.
They told me if I didn't send them a pic of my bloodstained clothes and a bloody face selfie to prove it was really my blood, they'd take away my salary from the classes I'd already taught.
I obliged, but quit the second that month's check landed in my account.
#31
I took a sick call from his wife who was surprisingly calm and said “He needs to be put out sick cause he was shot in the neck.” He’s alive btw missed spine and artery.
Spidercat 4 days ago
Yes! Pandas, pay attention to this nugget from Child of the Stars. A lack of strong emotional reaction to a traumatic event is a sure sign of shock and should be take seriously. Psychological damage from traumatic events happens in the first hour after the event and swift intervention is the best possible thing you can do.
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Billie Jackson 4 days ago
Worked with a guy who came in on a Monday with a bandage on his entire calf. He saw a couple fighting on the sidewalk and saw the man knock the woman to the ground. My friend went to help the lady, and she shot him.
#32
One time I was several hours late because a garbage bag of used cat litter burst all over my car seats as I was taking it out to throw away.
You can't just...go to work without dealing with that.
Earonn - 4 days ago
Why does OP has to put the bag in the car at all if it was just to go into the bin? Let alone to put it on a seat within said car????
Philly Bob 4 days ago
I have to take our garbage to a transfer station about 3 miles from my house. It does go in the back of the hatch though. And yes, sometimes those bags leak or break. :(
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Tyranamar Seuss 4 days ago
I'm sorry. I'd go to work and clean the kitty litter after. Then have the whole thing shampooed my first day off.
laura lee 3 days ago
Used litter seaping into your car seat and carpets will take A LOT more than shampooing days later... might as well just burn out the entire interior to the metal, wash the frame and hire someone to reupholster it
Load More Replies... #33
"Uh, I can't come in today"
"Why?"
"I'm in jail."
"Oh. Do you need bail money?"
"No it's cool, my mom is coming.".
Kelly Scott 4 days ago
Our graveyard employee (and the only one working) got a call from his girlfriend one night that someone was breaking into their house. He left his shift and went home, caught the guy, beat him up, and was arrested himself for a*****t. None of us knew it until the bookkeeper came in at 6am to find the door unlocked, a copy machine still running and out of paper, and customers wandering around looking for someone to pay.
Tom Brincefield 4 days ago
Guy didn't show up for work one Sunday night. (We were working massive amounts of overtime, 7 days a week.) Didn't call in, just no showed. Showed up Monday night, found out he was in jail. The sheriff had shown up early Sunday morning, with a warrant for his arrest for non-payment of child support. Took him in, didn't even let him tell his parents, whom he was living with. He finally got a lawyer Monday afternoon, and got out of jail. The really bad part, he was actually paying his child support. It was taken directly from his check and given to the County child services agency. He had moved in with his parents from a neighboring county, and the money was still going to that agency. The old county agency just kept the money, because he had moved and it was no longer their job to pay his ex. The new county just knew they weren't receiving the money they were supposed to for his payments, so they sent the sheriff after him.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
I had a coworker call in incarcerated. Another guy no-call-no-showed for a couple of days, which got him fired. Soon after, we saw him by the mall entrance with a Will Work For Food sign. The story was that his wife caught him with her daughter
Heidrance 4 days ago
some managers will do anything to avoid covering a shift....
Load More Replies... #34
Co-worker X was riding a bicycle to work when Co-worker Y bumps into him with his car, no injuries but they were a few minutes late from working it out. The very next day Co-worker Y calls in "Yeah, going to be late. I hit Co-worker X again and this time I had to call an ambulance" Co-worker X was fine and still rides his bicycle.
Con O Cuinn 4 days ago
I'd really have to hate someone for it to be worth the hit to my insurance premiums
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Nikki Sevven 3 days ago
I had to call in 5 minutes before my shift started on night. I was almost to my workplace when I was t-boned by a coworker leaving from the afternoon shift.
#35
Had a dude call 4 hours into the shift he missed. He fell asleep on the bus and ended up on the other side of town. the bus schedule in that area is slower than the rest of the system, so he had to wait to take the bus back. by that time it'd be 2 hours left. so he just called in for the day.
BeesEelsAndPups 4 days ago
I have done this, but on my way home from work. Less advantageous for me
#36
Guy called in saying he felt sick from a spider bite and wasn't going to make it in. Sure enough, had gotten himself bit by something poisonous and was hospitalized a few hours later. Didn't show up to work for the next 3 days, but when he did, he had a doctors note explaining everything.
#37
I work at home, and I couldn't come to work one morning because i quite literally locked myself out of the house going to put out the trash and my roomate was in another state.
Norm Gilmore 4 days ago
Got home and found I'd misplaced my front door key. Luckily I'd left the toilet window slightly open. It was up high and narrow so much banging, crashing and wriggling to get through without breaking the cistern. Went to the back door and found I'd left it unlocked.... :-)
Tracy Garvin 2 days ago
I walked home from my local one afternoon and the key broke off in the lock. I thought I was being resourceful by grabbing a ladder and scrambling up to the back balcony. But the back balcony door is always locked (unlike the front, almost always unlocked). Then drunk guy couldn't get down the ladder. Luckily I had a phone and a neighbor with my extra key. I now keep extra keys outside as most people should.
Boo 3 days ago
I was outside hanging up laundry and my husband was on his way out the door to go to football. He leaned out the conservatory door to say bye, closed and locked the door from the conservatory into the kitchen. So essentially he locked me out of the house and our 2 toddlers were in their bedroom playing. I panicked and smashed the window with a 2 litre bottle of Diet Pepsi to be able to open the snib to unlock the door. After he got home and saw the window, asked what happened and he denied locking me out! I mean, my dude...I'm not going to just bust a window for no good reason. The kids were fine, but dàmn! I've started to carry my house keys on me any time I step out of the house.
#38
I hit a wild turkey going 70mph on the freeway. Wrecked the radiator up. I live in a major city.
Judy Reynolds 4 days ago
Turkeys are usually such slow flyers! Surprised one could get to 70 mph!!
LookASquirrel 4 days ago
As god as my witness I thought turkeys could fly!
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DramaDoc 3 days ago (edited)
When I was going to college in Connecticut I saw a wild turkey fly through the windshield of the car in front of me on Rte. 1. The driver swerved and ended up in a ditch. I remember stopping to help (pre-cellphone). I think the driver and car were ok (really shaken though) since we weren't going too fast, but the windshield was toast (as was the turkey).
Chich the witch 4 days ago
I used to give briefings to incoming crews and watching out for turkeys was on the list.
#39
This guy said he had chronic kidney stones and had to go to the hospital. The next time I saw him he showed me the 3 stones he passed.
Cara Vinson 4 days ago
my grandmother had a little drawer in her jewelry box that had my dead uncle's kidney stones in it from the 1950's
#40
Guy called in to say he couldn't make it into work because he was working in his backyard, stood up too fast and hit his head on a shelf.
Boss man said sure take the day off but come back tomorrow. Guy comes into work the next day with this jagged cut on his head that hadn't fully healed. What he failed to mention was that the shelf he hit his head on had a nail in it.
One for me:
Got KO'd playing basketball and ended up with a minor concussion. My boss (who has never played or seen a basketball game) laughs and gives me the "yeah right"
Next day i turn up to work with video of me diving for the ball and an opposing player who's half a foot taller than me and probably twice my weight plowing right through me as if i wasn't there, spinning me around and me laying on the court spread eagled until my team mates picked me up. I didn't know what actually happened myself as i never saw the guy, blacked out and woke up looking at the ceiling.
My boss thought Basketball is a non-contact sport.
Greymom 1 day ago
Tell that to my then 14 year old son who lost about half of one of his two front teeth during a scramble for a loose ball. Cost me a pretty penny for a crown and nearly had to have a root canal on said tooth as well. The most insulting part of the whole Thing was the tooth got knocked out by one of his own teammates accidentally elbowing him in the mouth, resulting In a pretty good cut on said teammates elbow! We all learned a very expensive lesson about the value of mouth guards that day. Even for “ non contact “sports!
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#41
Her neighbor’s bull got loose and she had to help him herd it back home.
Cat servant 3 days ago
A loose bull can be dangerous, especially if it is out too long and goes feral. Southern. USA is having a bad time with feral hogs.
Tim Douglass 4 days ago
I once missed a conference call to my editor because the milk cow wouldn't cooperate that morning.
#42
Might get buried, but I was the one calling out a few years ago. I woke up Monday morning and couldn't find any of my car's keys. I have my everyday key, a spare (both are electronic), and a valet key (not electronic). I usually keep the latter two in the same drawer but they were both gone. I spent all morning looking and finally I get a text from my brother. Both of my siblings visited over the weekend, so my brother was saying he must have accidentally grabbed one (we have similar cars which have identical keys) and was already in New York visiting his girlfriend when he noticed (I live in Maryland). I called my sister, who I let drive my car over the weekend. She checked her pocket and, sure enough, she had another key. At her home in Wisconsin, since she apparently forgot to empty her pockets before she got a ride to the airport.
The third key, the non-electronic one, was still missing. Anyway, I had to call my boss and tell him I couldn't drive to work because one of my car keys was in New York and the other was in Wisconsin. He didn't believe me until I had my brother and sister send me pictures of them with the keys next to street signs/buildings. I live an hour from work so a cab would have been nonsense. My boss laughed it off and let me use a sick day and I had to pay $250 for a spare key to be made. All around stupidest day of my life.
About a year later my sister found the valet key in her purse, also in Wisconsin. Why did she need two keys? More importantly, WHY DO I NOW HAVE FOUR?!!!!
Amused panda 3 days ago
Why are you wondering? It is explained on the first paragraph of the post. One borrowed the car and forgot to return the keys after she used it, the other out of habit/not paying attention picked up a set of keys he mistook for his own.
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#43
I was a manager at Chi-Chi's in the 90s...had a girl call in fat. I laughed so hard I gave her that shift off.
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
My guess would be she meant menstrual bloating. Mine isn't often bad enough to do more than make my regular pants a little tight, but it's occasionally so bad that it's physically too painful to move.
#44
Coworker called in, but his friend got attacked by a shark while they were surfing before work.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
You have to watch ALL of Shark Week or you miss this stuff
Load More Replies... #45
There was a guy at my old office who couldn't come in because his path outside was blocked by a wasp.
Con O Cuinn 4 days ago
He was talking about his annoying Methodist neighbour
Load More Replies... Snazzy Smurf 4 days ago
I can identify with that reason as flying insects and I are at war with each other. They are currently winning.
Norm Gilmore 4 days ago
I'm not going to get into the wasp/hornet debate as I don't really care but the photo is of the Yellow Legged Hornet which NZ is fighting to eradicate in Auckland right now before it becomes established!
T Barth 4 days ago
And is a wasp...Asian hornets belong to the wasp family.
Load More Replies... Spidercat 4 days ago
Allergic perhaps? Anaphylaxis is not something to take lightly...
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#46
Co-worker called in once saying a squirrel had just run up his chimney. I never did hear the follow up to that one, I can only imagine the squirrel was on the way back out of the house.
Also, a different co-worker didn't show up one morning, no call, no nothing. Around 2 that afternoon, she did call, saying she'd taken half a sleeping pill that was lying next to her vitimins.
Tom Brincefield 4 days ago
Last week, I had a molar (number 14) extracted because of a persistent abcess. The surgeon prescribed some antiseptic mouth rinse, some antibiotics, and a few painkillers of it hurt too much the first couple of days. I put the painkillers & antibiotics by my bed, and took the antibiotics as soon as I woke up. Monday, I woke up, took the antibiotic, and started to get ready for work. Then I realized the pill I had just taken wasn't pink & blue. So I checked the painkillers, and one was missing. So I called in to work because I was going to be high for the next 6 to 8 hours.
#47
This is actually from an employee of my father, he told him he was ran over by a cow. It was true.
Con O Cuinn 4 days ago (edited)
Agriculture in general is one of the industries with the highest death rates. Massive machinery, huge animals, often working alone so nobody else around to call for help, often frankly shocking safety standards, etc.
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Snazzy Smurf 4 days ago (edited)
That was the cow's way of saying "Moooooooove over". Sorry I couldn't resist. Being trampled by a cow is definitely a reason to miss work or anything else for that matter.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 4 days ago
Farmer waiting next to me in the hospital was rammed by a ram (sheep) and broke his shoulder. Tourists get run over by cows all the time here in Switzerland. Cows are friendly but keep your distance and ffs don't mess with them
#48
My teacher’s dog got attacked by a deer when I was in high school.
#49
My husband was in a car accident (a lorry went into the side of him on a roundabout). I had recently changed hospitals I worked at and had been at the new hospital for less than a week. I called my boss from the a&e department of the hospital saying my husband had been in a crash and I was in a&e with him. My boss didn't believe me and walked over to a&e to verify my story. He was shocked I was actually there.
Bi.Felicia 4 days ago
Why would the boss not believe OP? Upon learning that their husband was in a car accident, with a lorry, mind you and was being treated for injuries at the hospital, the boss decides to verify this for themselves by actually going to the a&e to check. I definitely would not want to work for a boss like that, especially considering OP just started at this job and the boss already doesn't trust them.
#50
One of my coworkers didn't show up to a mandatory 8am meeting. If you didn't show up you were automatically fired. She sent us a picture half way through the meeting of a brand new baby. Apparently when she was getting ready for work she had to go to the bathroom. Ended up unexpectedly giving birth on the bathroom floor, she had no idea she was pregnant.
Edit: She had her first baby less than a year before this so she wasn't regularly getting her period yet and thought that was normal. She was a little chubby but not obese or fat and the baby was born prematurely so he was on the smaller side. All those things together and she nor any of us would have ever guessed she was pregnant.
Edit 2: Corporate restaurant for those of you who asked about the mandatory meeting. They were hell but had to be done before the restaurant opened usually on a Saturday morning. Somehow the "8 hours between shifts" law never applied to these meetings. Finishing your shift at 3am to come back at 8am is something I'll never miss about waitressing.
Kelly Scott 4 days ago (edited)
I lived 20 miles from my job in a bank and without fail, they'd always have the branch meeting on my days off. So I had to get up at 6am, drive to work at 7am for a 7:30am meeting on my day off for two years. Couldn't miss that d**n meeting or I'd be written up. Couldn't plan anything and couldn't go anywhere outside the city because I had to be back for that early morning meeting. I was even more pissed off the days they'd cancel the meeting, but "Oh, we must have forgotten to tell you." Gee, oh, I forgot to quit. I hope you waited a week being short-handed before you decided to fire me.
#51
Coworker fell in the shower and had a major testicular contusion that put him out for 2 weeks.
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
Oof. I don't have testicles, but my understanding is a contusion is kidney-stone-levels of painful.
KatWitch57 4 days ago
Contusion simply means bruise. But OP has my sympathies, that's a nasty place for a bruise.
Load More Replies... #52
Kid in his early 20s called in telling me his tires go slashed, boom three day weekend for him. His next shift rolled around and he calls in with the same story. I was convinced he [lied], he proved otherwise.
#53
Employee here - I had to call in one morning because a drunk 18 year old kid with only a learner's permit crashed his mom's SUV into our driveway at 2 am and hit all 3 of our cars, rendering one undriveable and totaling the SUV. Knowing they wouldn't believe me, I sent pictures and brought a business card from one of the responding officers when I came back to work a couple of days later.
Later, I also gave them the police report :D.
#54
Had a guy saying he couldn't come to work because his mum hadn't made him a packed lunch. He was in his late 20s.
#55
I had an employee who was having an affair. When he tried to break off the relationship; she didn’t take it well. When he went out to his car in the morning he found all four tires slashed. After the tires were replaced, only then did he discover that roughly 2 lbs of sugar that had been dumped in his gas tank.
Dog Mom to Zoe 4 days ago
Deserves him right for cheating...Yeah, 2 wrongs don't make a right but still.
#56
Personal story: on the first day of a new job (of course), I was making my lunch, grabbed the mayo out of the fridge and oopsie. This was (also, of course) a brand new, heavy, glass jar of mayo. It hit the kitchen tile and literally exploded. Could have left it where it lay until the evening except, three feline fur babies. The new boss was a good sport about it, fortunately.
#57
I was a babysitter for a couple and I had to call saying I couldn't come because my grandma busted her eye and I was spending the day at the hospital with her.
They accused me of lying until I sent them a picture of my grandmas bloodied and ruptured eye.
Michael Largey 4 days ago
If you trust someone so little that you need photographic evidence, why do you leave your children with them?
#58
One time I called my boss in a panic and said he'd have to find someone to cover my shift because the tip of a q tip had come off in my ear and I couldn't get it out.
I was totally ready to go to the emergency room, I was in full panic mode and every attempt to take it out pushed it deeper. Eventually my roommate got it out with tweezers. I was only 5 minutes late for my shift.
Yes I know you're not supposed to use them in your ears, but it feels so good.
Motivated sloth 4 days ago
*Warning: do not use in your ears. Every human on planet earth: proceeds to use them in their ears.
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
And that's why we have warning labels on everything 😂
Load More Replies... #59
She had been vigorously washing her face when her pinky finger inadvertently inserted into her nostril and her pointy long fingernail punctured her sinus. Since she was in the shower it just wouldn't clot and she had to go to the ER.
#60
Had a boss that couldn't come in because his wife's knees were too squeaky. She had a bad knee replacement.
Siege Rook 4 days ago (edited)
Lo-W4ng say: "Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."
Load More Replies... #61
I couldn’t lift the garage door on my own and back out my vehicle at the same time.
#62
Really bad windstorm that took down trees and with them power lines. not only to the ends of my street, but also across the alley behind my house
I took pics of the wires, and the police barricading the area. My work was trying to get me to still come in, but I really didn’t want to come home to a worse situation.
Bi.Felicia 4 days ago
Honestly if there are downed live wires surrounding your house, it's not safe for them to leave their house, until the power was cut off.
Michael Largey 4 days ago
A large windstorm knocked down a huge number of power lines during the night. Our school had power, but we had to call off school because you couldn't reach the building without crossing downed lines.
#63
I had an employee who couldn't come in to work because she was still too drunk from the night before and her mandated ignition breathalyzer had her locked out.
Mike F 4 days ago
If she was a he I'd think I worked with them. The guy who hired me at my last job had an interlock device. He would call in and say he was sick, but, after the booze ran it's course and the device would allow his car to start, he miraculously felt good enough to come to work.
#64
I was once late to work, second shift at a gas station, because I started the dryer then ran to the grocery store. When I got back, I found that the breaker had flipped and all of my work clothes were very wet, so I had to wait for them to dry.
My boss thought I was lying, but it was the truth.
#65
I once called in because I had a bird stuck in my fireplace... boss made me send pictures. I did. He still didn't believe me. I didn't much like that boss.
Mike F 4 days ago
Hahaha! Been there. My poor mother heard an odd noise on the basement landing and slid open the door. A bird flew into her face. She puked, a mom thing, and called me at work. A starling got in the chimney, hopped out of the furnace and into the basement, then found it's way up the stairway. Poor mom.
#66
I had to call out of work once because my daughter got smacked in the face with an ear of corn. Her, my boyfriend, and I went to a corn maze and they were rough housing and she ran full force into an ear of corn. She had a huge scab in the shape of corn across her face for weeks and her eye was swollen shut. My boss didnt believe me until i sent her pictures.
#67
A guy at my work recently had to quit because he got his car completely stuck in the mud and had no other way of getting to and from work. he lived an hour away so it was a bit unreasonable for people to give him rides.
Cat servant 3 days ago
Depending on where it was stuck he might not have been able to afford the tow. Sounds like he was "mudding" and the truck may have been some distance from a road. For those that don't know mudding is the hobby of taking you truck out into rural areas when there has been enough rain to create mud fields and driving around in circles to show how well your truck handles it and because they think it is fun. Think four wheeling using a truck instead of an all terrain. Getting stuck is the ultimate failure. Now it is possible he just lives in an area of unpaved roads but not being able to get a tow is suspicious and to me indicates he wasn't near a road.
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#68
My old supervisor was the king of these. I cant say if they were all true or not but some of the ones I remember are.
Neighbors were having a fire, burned poison ivy and hurt his lungs from inhaling some smoke.
Got a sun burn on his face and it was painful to wear a mask(peak covid).
Was hanging a picture and his foot slipped and went into the sofa chair he was standing on, and twisted his ankle.
He recently got hurt at work and has been out for 2+ weeks now because he tripped over his own feet.
Mike F 4 days ago
Poison ivy smoke is no joke to people with severe allergies to it. I had an uncle that experienced that and he ended up very sick.
Kelly Scott 4 days ago
On an overnight SAR practice, I accidentally threw poison oak firewood into the fire I made and had poison oak smoke blow right into my face. The next day I looked like a being from another world and had to go to the ER.
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#70
“Got hit by a car. Can’t come in tomorrow.”.
Mickey Spencer 2 days ago
I texted my bosses something similar as I had been hit on my way to work. The kicker? I work in police records & had to send them the report number to verify my story. Apparently the picture I sent of me on a gurney in the ER was enough proof.
Cat servant 3 days ago
Supervisor hit by car bicycling to work. He was out close to a month with the surgery and rehab from the broken bones.
#71
I guess this counts, I had a guitar teacher that cancelled a lesson on me because he "burned his foot on the stove". Well, the next time I saw him was a few weeks later at our HS winter concert and he was in a full leg cast, so I guess he was telling the truth?
Bi.Felicia 4 days ago (edited)
I'm guessing he burnt his leg on a wood stove and not on the burner of a typical range. Also wondering why he would be in a full leg cast, for a burn, on his foot?? I'm not so sure he was telling the truth.
#72
I couldn't put my clothes on.
My leg was in a very large metal frame that I wasn't allowed to adjust or remove.
Motivated sloth 4 days ago
I got a foot injury one night (thanks to my ex) and went to bed with my pants on because my foot was too swollen to take them off. I had gone to my moms at 3 in the morning very upset about how it had happened. She checked I in the morning if I needed to go to the dr or a ride to work. It felt fine so I said no. Stood up and immediately fell right on my face. Luckily my job was on the way to the hospital so I just had to stop by and show them and they completely understood. I couldn’t imagine having to have my foot/leg in traction. The soft cast and metal boot were bad enough.
#73
Guy said he fell off his bed and had internal bleeding. Turns out he was drunk and trying to change a light bulb, so he put a step ladder on his mattress and tried to use that to reach the light.
Debby Keir 4 days ago
Once had a guy in intensive care who had got blind drunk and crashed out in a guest room. Said room had twin beds and whilst unconscious from the drink, he'd managed to get his arm and shoulder stuck between the beds. Severely damaged the brachial nerves and had a permanently damaged shoulder.
#74
I had to call in once because my mom had picked something that she thought was spinach out of the garden, it looked like spinach. I eat it. It is not spinach, it was some kind of weed that made me puke and gave me diarrhea.
#75
Working in a fast food place. A kid called in and he says he can't come to work today because he's tired (works 4-9, two days a week)
the girl answering the phone works at BK 5am-3:30pm and wendy's 5pm-close. 6 days a week. lol.
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
I'm having a hard time judging the kid without further information. I have a thyroid issue that causes extreme fatigue. The medication helps and it's usually under control, but some days, I literally just...can't.
Heidrance 4 days ago
i'm interested by the two separate fast food places. many jobs in US have some version of a non-compete clause, wherein you can't work at a direct competitor. unless it's an indication that fast food places *know* you can't survive on 1 job, so they look the other way if you have another...
Cat servant 3 days ago
Most fast food places have such high turn over in the US that they don't care.
Load More Replies... #76
Broke a nail down into the nail bed...she couldn’t type. Same person dropped a jar on her toe and couldn’t come in because her toe was bruised.
NapQueen 4 days ago
My Dad is a bit of a drama queen - one day, he screamed the house down all because he was frying mushrooms and one landed on his foot.
Auntriarch 4 days ago
My dad would just faint. He swallowed a spoonful of hot porridge once and fainted. I would scream the place down though.
Load More Replies... Brian Droste 4 days ago
If he was cooking in barefoot and and a hot mushroom fell on his foot I can understand. Otherwise, yes he was being a big baby.
Dog Mom to Zoe 4 days ago
Unless you constantly walk for work, you still can come into work with a bruised toe.
Motivated sloth 4 days ago
My friend (same party too much friend from earlier comment) missed work because she dropped a bottle on her toe. I think it took off her toenail and did look a little painful. When she went to work the next day and showed the boss (who had really had it with her bs), boss asked what kind of bottle it was, friend replied a 12 oz one (it was a beer bottle)
#77
"I got shot in the face on the ell (elevated train) platform with a pellet gun, got frostbite from my own blood, and when I got home from the hospital the water in my pipes was frozen.".
#78
I'm not an employer, but my husband was in charge of people in his section of the govt. A woman who had a problem with taking off too much with crazy excuses called in and said " a pot fell on her head when she was taking it out of a high cabinet."
What do you think ?
Stephanie Did It 4 days ago (edited)
My coworker at a busy call center called in and said her German Shepherd pup had eaten her false teeth. She called the vet to ask if it would harm the dog, and he told her that it is quite common for dogs to chew up their owners' teeth, because (his words) they taste like the thing the dog loves most, its person.
Mike F 4 days ago
🙋♂️ I wear a partial and had to take the old one out when eating. It fell out of my pocket when I was clearing the table and my dog grabbed it before I even noticed it was gone. It's amazing how many pieces that thing ended up in.
Load More Replies... UnclePanda 4 days ago
I had to call into work about a month into a new job because there was a moose sleeping against my car. They thought it was hilarious and then told me staying in the house was, indeed, the best response.
Major Harris 4 days ago
2002, had a co worker who called that he would be late because his pet emu got out and he was chasing it down the street. he in fact, did have a pet emu.
Jessica Daus-Warner 4 days ago
I used to have to review call ins on a voicemail box for an office of 300 people. Best excuse was a woman who was locked in her basement by her toddler and was waiting for her husband to come free her. The best part was hearing the kid's muffled giggles from the other side of the door.
Jackie Lulu 4 days ago
We had a new hire at my workplace. He worked 2 or 3 days, and then didn't come back. He couldn't be reached by phone. We found out later that he had a heart attack and passed away.
Dan St John 4 days ago
I have dealt with thousands of employees over the decades and my all time favorite call out, was a guy that called me to say "he couldn't come in today, because his wife was thinking about getting pregnant and he thought he should be there." I was laughing so hard, all I could do was wish him luck.
FranSinclair 4 days ago
I want to be able to say my little sister (30 yrs old) isnt dumb. Try to tell you she was atleast book smart, but i cant. Anyways she called in and was ultimately fired from the parking lot of the fine dining restaurant she was serving at. While pulling into the parking lot for her shift she decided her hands were too dry for her liking and she put on some hand cream (while in motion) made the steering wheel slippery and she wrecked through multiple customers cars. This is just a normal Tuesday with this girls around.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
This isn't exactly the same thing, but one Wednesday, I was in a safety committee meeting. The HR manager said something about expecting employees to be safe off the clock, and I said that I thought a worker's free time isn't the employer's concern. Three days later I crashed my motorcycle, broke both wrists, and was out of work for three months
Sally-Ann 1 day ago
I lived in a semi-isolated community accessible by one road or a ferry to another town. I don’t drive so I’d have to get the ferry and public transport from there. From time to time the ferry could not run due to bad weather/high seas making it impossible to dock. More than a few times over the years I had to call in because I knew even if the boat ran in the morning, it wouldn’t in the evening and I’d have no way to get home. Fortunately, I worked for a government department and had plenty of flexi time and holiday leave to use and bosses who understood my situation.
Stephanie Did It 4 days ago (edited)
My coworker at a busy call center called in and said her German Shepherd pup had eaten her false teeth. She called the vet to ask if it would harm the dog, and he told her that it is quite common for dogs to chew up their owners' teeth, because (his words) they taste like the thing the dog loves most, its person.
Mike F 4 days ago
🙋♂️ I wear a partial and had to take the old one out when eating. It fell out of my pocket when I was clearing the table and my dog grabbed it before I even noticed it was gone. It's amazing how many pieces that thing ended up in.
Load More Replies... UnclePanda 4 days ago
I had to call into work about a month into a new job because there was a moose sleeping against my car. They thought it was hilarious and then told me staying in the house was, indeed, the best response.
Major Harris 4 days ago
2002, had a co worker who called that he would be late because his pet emu got out and he was chasing it down the street. he in fact, did have a pet emu.
Jessica Daus-Warner 4 days ago
I used to have to review call ins on a voicemail box for an office of 300 people. Best excuse was a woman who was locked in her basement by her toddler and was waiting for her husband to come free her. The best part was hearing the kid's muffled giggles from the other side of the door.
Jackie Lulu 4 days ago
We had a new hire at my workplace. He worked 2 or 3 days, and then didn't come back. He couldn't be reached by phone. We found out later that he had a heart attack and passed away.
Dan St John 4 days ago
I have dealt with thousands of employees over the decades and my all time favorite call out, was a guy that called me to say "he couldn't come in today, because his wife was thinking about getting pregnant and he thought he should be there." I was laughing so hard, all I could do was wish him luck.
FranSinclair 4 days ago
I want to be able to say my little sister (30 yrs old) isnt dumb. Try to tell you she was atleast book smart, but i cant. Anyways she called in and was ultimately fired from the parking lot of the fine dining restaurant she was serving at. While pulling into the parking lot for her shift she decided her hands were too dry for her liking and she put on some hand cream (while in motion) made the steering wheel slippery and she wrecked through multiple customers cars. This is just a normal Tuesday with this girls around.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
This isn't exactly the same thing, but one Wednesday, I was in a safety committee meeting. The HR manager said something about expecting employees to be safe off the clock, and I said that I thought a worker's free time isn't the employer's concern. Three days later I crashed my motorcycle, broke both wrists, and was out of work for three months
Sally-Ann 1 day ago
I lived in a semi-isolated community accessible by one road or a ferry to another town. I don’t drive so I’d have to get the ferry and public transport from there. From time to time the ferry could not run due to bad weather/high seas making it impossible to dock. More than a few times over the years I had to call in because I knew even if the boat ran in the morning, it wouldn’t in the evening and I’d have no way to get home. Fortunately, I worked for a government department and had plenty of flexi time and holiday leave to use and bosses who understood my situation.
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