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We all know that wisdom takes time. Just like when you’re a child and burn yourself with an oven, only to realize some surfaces are hot and you'd better stay away from them, so are the other things that require years of constantly learning through your own experience.

So when someone asked a seemingly simple question “What do people learn too late?” on r/AskReddit it immediately resonated with everyone. With 76.4k upvotes and almost 20k comments, we have some of the most illuminating answers below.

From protecting your ears from loud music if you don’t want tinnitus for the rest of your life, to realizing that salary is not the entirety of an equation when it comes to your job satisfaction, these are the things people wish they hadn’t learned the hard way but known it from the beginning.

#1

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) You're not obliged to have children of your own. You can be happy and fulfilled without reproducing.

bumtrinket , Tobias Begemann Report

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ben woskje
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

societies obsession with "when are you having kids"... and when you have a kid - "when are you having another" is all types of f****d up. Not everyone is cut out for having kids, some people cant have kids, some people just don't want kids.... leave them alone.

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#2

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Don’t worry if you aren’t living an exciting or extravagant life. It’s okay to live simply and quietly. It doesn’t mean that you’re wasting your life.

xxmzie_13 , Michael Pollak Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Happiness comes in getting what you really want out of life, not in doing what you think will impress others.

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#3

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) The value of walking away from someone toxic in your life, even if it is your parents and family. If you are thinking of it and are scared and have somewhere where you can land in a safe place, then do it. It hurts like hell for a long while, but it gets better and one day you realize how peaceful your life is and you find you only miss the family you wish you had had.

irishmuminacoldland , Romain Guy Report

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#4

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Learning when to say no.

Learning how to apologise when it's your fault, and how to not apologise when it's not your fault.

OneSalientOversight , fotografierende Report

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Giovanna
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. And also to value your time and pick your battles. I dont waste my time with people who are not worth it now.

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#5

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.

-eDgAR- , Didriks Report

#6

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Many college degrees have no job market.

Trade school is a financially solid option out of high school.

Tbone139 Report

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I I
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

should bring them back , not all kids are academic some work better with their hands

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#7

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) A cat on his back inviting a chesty rub is a trap.

Poops_McClanahan , Counselling Report

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JamezyJamez
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm really happy that all three of mine welcome them. When I have friends over, most are weary of my claims that their hands and arms are safe, but it's true!

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#8

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That it's possible to do everything right and still lose. Just life innit.

KaasmoKraymah , Pat Pilon Report

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James016
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." Captain Jean-Luc Picard

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#10

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That's being wrong and changing your mind is actually nothing to be ashamed of.

SA_DrOpossum , olia danilevich Report

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J. F.
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being wrong isn't bad, keeping on being wrong to not having to admit being wrong is bad

Green Machine
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just hate that feeling of being wrong, eSPEcially if I was just in a debate about it for 10 mins. I still own up to being wrong, despite how much it sucks lol.

Carrie de Luka
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will respect you for recognising when you get it wrong and accepting it. People look dumb when they persist in sticking to their viewpoint when all evidence shows them to be wrong. This is when there are facts and it's not about opinions of course.

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AJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like many others I grew up believing then the only way is to make my mind about something and stick to that believe for the rest of my life regardless how right or wrong I was. Admitting I'm wrong when I am and changing my believes if I find reasons to change them have been game changers.

I I
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

just shows you're willing to learn and grow , cant be right all the time

Bill Evs
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think being able to admit you were wrong is the mark of a really strong character but unfortunately it's not demonstrated much these days

Walter Brameld
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be hard to believe, but other people's respect for you goes _up_ when you change your mind because you recognize that you were wrong and they were right.

Bob Belcher
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Learn, adapt, grow. Not refuse to learn, stay the same, and get angry at change.

Jace
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Refusing to acknowledge being wrong is like a goddamned epidemic in the USA.

BetweenTheCracks
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nuh-UHHH!! Nuh-UHHH!! YOU'RE a goddamned epidemic! *stomps feet, shakes fists* (I kid, just so you know. ;) )

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denzoren
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's growth and if someone tells you otherwise, they are in desperate need of it.

Marie
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"As far as I know..." "I haven't heard/learned about that..." "gotta look that up", my go to phrases because logic and learning only go so far.

Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Science and technology are based on being wrong. Some one sees mold on their sandwich and does the wrong thing - sees if it can cure disease instead of killing you. People have jumped off the Eiffel tower wearing a wing and plummeted to their death so the airfoil obviously doesn't work. Two bicycle mechanics make us fly using it. There is strong evidence that some Egyptian schlub overcooked the beer and ended up with the first bread. They then started using the bread to make beer because it would store longer. You keep feeding a sourdough and you can make bread and (bad) beer forever.

Mazer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Embracing both being wrong and making change can make you a better person

Earl Grey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Studies have shown that the most successful people frequently change their minds when new information comes to light telling them that they erred in judgement. Successful people fail fast but fail forward.

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually you should be proud. Someone who can adapt is rare, an asset and should be respected more than someone who is super rigid, because that’s dumb.

Donkey boi
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'I'm never wrong! I might be misinformed, but from the information I had at the time, I was right. My opinion can change the more I learn, but I'm still right.' ~ My old History teacher

JustAnother Soul
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are allowed to have a change of mind and a change of heart. You are also allowed to say that you’ve changed your mind.

Batwench
Community Member
Premium
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also admit when you are wrong or have made a mistake.

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#11

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Don’t ever think it’s ok to “talk” to yourself in a manner you wouldn’t let another human being talk to you.

The biggest abuser I ever had in my life, was my constant companion: the thoughts in my head.

We often take care to choose our words when correcting a child or friend... but if anyone had talked to me, the way I talked to me for 30 straight years, I would have murdered them... and probably got away with it too.

Be nice to yourself, you’re the only you, you have.

Debaser626 , Taylor Smith Report

#12

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That mental & emotional abuse are a real thing.

Red flags.

nahbroski , Alex Green Report

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#13

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That it's never too late to learn.

j4yf3rb , Darkangels Report

#14

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That being a parent is not always "the most rewarding thing in the world".

morgisartre , Pat PilonFollow Report

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Dark Pearl
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's stressful. My mother looks way older than she should, she's always tired and busy... It's horrifying!

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#15

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) The value of a good/unconditional friend.

nowittynameavailable , Free-Photos Report

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Vasana Phong
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would rather not have any , then have toxic ones, my husband is my best friend

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#16

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) How to manage their finances.

KreamoftheKropp , Emil Kalibradov Report

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James016
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its something they need to teach in schools if they are not doing so already.

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#17

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Knowing when to NOT be nice.

-partymonster- , Allan Mas Report

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Dark Pearl
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least somebody gets it. My best friend is all sweet and innocent and overly nice, and I just wish that she would be a F*****G BITCH occasionally. Especially to me. I deserve it.

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#18

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) How soul crushing, unproductive, impotent and wasteful worrying about things is.

mhol7597 , energepic.com Report

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#19

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) What not to share on the internet.

DetectiveBowtie , Glenn Carstens-Peters Report

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Martha Meyer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think in the 90ies teens knew not to do this very well. Today's teens however seem to do the opposite and I find that quite worrying. It's going to bite at least some of them in the backside in a nasty way later in life.

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#20

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That the cliche "you never know when it's the last time you'll see to someone" should absolutely be remembered for every occasion. My best friend just died in a car accident this past Saturday, and the last time I saw him we got in an argument and he left and we didn't speak after that. I'm destroyed by it

Jew-Barrymore , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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lunar eclipse
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh gosh. I couldn’t imagine. The last time I spoke to my mother, we had an argument. She went into a coma that night and passed away.

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#21

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That hating people who are different makes you nothing but unhappy.

JazzerBee , Keira Burton Report

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Isabella
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hating in general, not only different people, makes you unhappy. No reason is good enough for hating. Hate is the poison of the soul.

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#22

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) How dangerous driving a car can be.

Wendigogod27 , Dennis Yang Report

#23

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That some things can never be undone.

The actions you take and the words you speak will come back around sooner or later.

sherrymirza , Keira Burton Report

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Maurettis
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sadly, sometimes the only way you learn this, is by doing those terrible mistakes

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#24

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) How short life is.

snowmanseeker , Matthias Zomer Report

#25

"Everybody you fight is not your enemy and everybody that helps you is not your friend." - Mike Tyson

[deleted] Report

#26

The sun is the worst thing for your skin, it burns you, causes cancer, and gives you wrinkles. SPF is your friend.

PM_Me_UrRightNipple Report

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Michelle M
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100 upvotes for this. But the sun is also needed for Vitamin D..."in little amount"

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#27

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That you might be wrong sometimes. Some never learn.

FairlyUnoriginal , Keira Burton Report

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Ivo H
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These who never learn this are often people who are wrong most often

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#28

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That happiness usually comes from a diverse range of interests, hobbies, and commitments. You are not your job. Your romantic partner cannot be your everything, etc. It's so easy to get sucked into a life where your career is everything or where you wrap your entire identity around your partner. There is nothing wrong with celebrating your loved ones and being close. And there is nothing wrong with caring about your job...you just need more to thrive. I see this so often in relationships. Two people meet and fall in love. They each inspire one another based on their interests and achievements, it's part of what makes them fall in love. But slowly, over time, they let those hobbies go. Stress gets in the way. Bills pile up. And then one day they find themselves wondering why they ever loved this person in the first place. Instead of being sexy and interesting they're just part of a routine.

TLDR: Diversify your interests and activities to be happy. Don't rely on a single person, hobby, or commitment to give you everything you need.

5dognowfive , Redmond Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone ever see a person whose kids have made them happier than the interests they gave up when they became parents? Me neither.

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#29

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Sitting on your ass all day is not good for your health at all.

poopellar , DESIGNECOLOGIST Report

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AJ
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also sometimes sitting on your ass all day (meaning taking a break and not doing a thing entire day) is very important and good for your health and can recharge you like nothing else.

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#30

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) There aren't actually any hot singles in your area.

ABViper , Georgie Pauwels Report

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Otter
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are so! There are hot singles in every area! And they're all interested in each other, not in us.

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#31

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) How to communicate.

create_and_grow , Garry KnightFollow Report

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Michelle M
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandma used to say that 'Communication is the key to any successful relationship'

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#32

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) To appreciate their youth.

[deleted] , Allan Mas Report

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Isabela Ivan
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to be very critical of myself as ateen, în my 20s....now at 37 i just think how dumb I was

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#33

How to not give a [damn] about how others see you.

Seems simple enough for me now in my 20s, but back in high school there were many f**ks given about how others saw me. Ironically, those people that didn’t care how others saw them were often the more respected ones.

slothbarns7 Report

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#34

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Saying “I love you” or wanting to reach out to your family, friends, and loved ones, but crippling anxiety stops you. You never know when it may be too late to say these things, so be in the moment, and live/love in the present authentically.

whatthedeafearhears , Heather Mount Report

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denzoren
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never been able to really express my feelings for anyone. Now I'm in my 30s and so many missed opportunities later, I can only look back and think what might have been.

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#35

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Interest rates, credit cards, credit score, money saving techniques, 401K. In other words anything that keeps you from being trapped by poor money management.

TheLivingBubba , Robert Scoble Report

#36

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) To stop being afraid of asking or pursuing the things you want in life

NCbrownboi , Joe Bielawa Report

#37

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Social media can consume your life. It’s not all real, and not everyone posting pictures is having a great time, and not every “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE SHOULD CATCH UP” is genuine.

Scarlaire , BuzzFarmers Report

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Jo Johannsen
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much of social media consists of passing on the latest trendy meme, trolling, or arguing about politics. Very little real communication takes place.

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#38

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) Pulling out is not an effective method for birth control.

echohelloworld , Monica Silvestre Report

#39

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) The importance of education. As a kid your always hear generic statements like, "This will help your career" but nothing specific enough to be useful.

christian_daddy1 , Allison Meier Report

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Martha Meyer
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like the emphasize on education sucked the joy out of my teen years especially. So I don't agree with this one. Education is important, but don't align your entire childhood to some "career" in the future.

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#40

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) You are your biggest limitation.

AtilaMann , Pixabay Report

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's BS. Your parents, your environment, your education and the people you or your parents know decide your future.

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#41

Silence is golden.

Seriously, the amount of people who spout crap that no one cares about, just to hear themselves talk...

Sonicsaber25 Report

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JP
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Got an ex-friend like this. This is one of the reasons we are no longer friends. They couldn't shut up. Ever. Spouted off about everything, was wrong about most things and a general a*****e. Well, that and he kept trying to convince my husband (m. 41 yrs) to divorce me (for months) because I told him to shut up. (He's childless, telling us we were bad grandparents because we didn't take a belt to our grandkids (18m & 3y at the time). Told us 'the buckle end will train 'em right!')

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#42

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That nobody will be a better advocate for you than yourself. Especially when it comes to your health. Mental AND physical health. Don't wait for somebody else to do it. You'll have to do it yourself eventually.

whileurup , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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SilentSyst3m
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tell someone with anxiety. Thought I'd die of stomach ache but could not call an ambulance. Let alone walk into a doctor's office ... or even call for an appointment. Sometimes help IS needed.

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#43

Failure happens and its part of a learning process. Never be afraid of failing. In the same line being wrong about something and changing your mind is okay.

insanefish1337 Report

#44

Money is a tool, not a life goal.

[deleted] Report

#45

Mistakes have consequences. Sometimes they are huge consequences, such as a mistake while driving could kill yourself or someone else. Sometimes they’re little consequences. But always learn from your mistakes and that you should always be learning and improving yourself.

medicff Report

#46

Setting and respecting boundaries, how to give a genuine apology, and other such communication 101 skills.

[deleted] Report

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Dillon Hughes
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad hates that I demand my personal privacy in my home. I'm 40 don't insist to come over uninvited! Half of the time my lady is running around topless!

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#47

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) To protect their ears, you don't want to live with tinnitus for the rest of your life because you were exposed to a loud noise once

NapoleonBlownApart1 , Aaron Report

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#48

That friendships and relationships should never be so difficult to be in that it drains you of joy or throws you into depression.

And if you are that depressed friend that keeps losing connections with meaningful people, it’s never too early to get help. Even if you think you can beat it, it’s temporary, or you don’t deserve it.

Toxicity in any person is inevitable as people grow and change. What separates the toxic people from others is that they refuse to or are unable to recognize their own toxic patterns and cannot change their toxic behaviors when they negatively impact others. Unlearn your own issues. Do self work. You’re always going to be better for it.

mamaxchaos Report

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DC
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, of course, but ... I think people tend to be too fast with this. I've lost a few friends when I wasn't in my best state, friends who I thought I could count on - I shouldn't even have called them friends. It's those assholes that leave you when you need them the most, and excuse themselves by some variation of the above. Don't decide fast. Don't ditch a friend because he/she currently can't offer much help - any true friend will return whatever you do for them ... that's what qualifies them as friends in the first place.

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#49

The importance of writing skills for formal contexts.

Writing is an important skill in nearly any field and the more a career advances the more important it becomes. The lack of adequate writing skill often holds back a career.

Yet many people squander their opportunities to learn writing because they think their class assignments are empty busy work and they figure their skills in spoken English and informal text messages will carry over when they need to write for work.

doublestitch Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it is the way we teach writing. It is an awful, painful, slog. I love creative writing but break out in a cold sweat at the words Composition II.

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#50

That being mean to people will get you nowhere.

the-salt-of-dungroon Report

#51

That it's more important to appreciate your body for what it can do rather than what it looks like.

emmcity0 Report

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
3 years ago

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No, don’t let anyone tell you what’s more important about your body. It’s your own body and nobody gets to decide that for you. This is a toxic mentality.

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#52

Active listening

xfeedxyourxheadx Report

#53

Impulse buying control. So much [stuff] in my house that I wish I could go back in time and not buy it in the first place

Mr_Frible Report

#54

That Covid-19 is real.

dex248 Report

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Macaw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know two people who were on the ventilator in the ER and died from it. While it's not as deadly as other diseases in the early 20th century, it is still real.

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#55

How to emotionally regulate

tipping Report

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#56

Not to believe everything on the internet.

88T3 Report

#57

That your parents are in fact people too

you cant help someone if they dont want it.

Raquoons Report

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#58

How to use their turn signals in a car...

jorph Report

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Glenn Zoontjens
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and how to merge, negotiate roundabouts, be courteous to other drivers....

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#59

Self-Control and Compassion. It goes a long way.

RedditR_Us Report

#60

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That they are terrible at parenting.

mealteamsixty , Kelly Sikkema Report

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Green Machine
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say that terrible parents (almost) never learn they're terrible...

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#61

College isn’t the only option.

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#62

That brussels sprouts are good. And so is asparagus. And every other vegetable if you prepare it properly.

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is no way you could cook lima beans that would induce me to eat them. Goes for a few vegetables. Everyone has things that are just unacceptable. But, cooked correctly, the list is shorter.

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#63

People Are Posting Things They Wish They'd Known Sooner (40 Posts) That most people will just help you, how and if they can, if you are honest with them

It seems like so many people feel the need to conceal what they actually want from you, and try to get it by presenting a half-truth or what they think you want to hear instead of just being straight forward.

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Eslamala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, most people can see right through a half truth or a made up story, and are less likely to help you if they feel they're being deceited or they feel your story is incoherent.

#64

How slippery a slope addiction is. How quickly trying something at a party turns into being hooked.

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#65

That salary amount is not the entirety of an equation when deciding where to work. You have to take into account the cost of living, commute times, the safety of the nearby area, and the convenience of living in the area.

Studies have shown that taking a 20 minute longer commute is as bad for your job satisfaction as a 19% pay cut.

On top of that, wealth = money in - money out. If a new job pays 20k more, but if rent/property prices are 30k more per year, you are taking a paycut.

On top of that, you have to consider your future. Do you have to move to an undesirable location to work there? Crammed in a little apartment where the nearest services are an hour away? What about air quality? What about noise levels? Is this a place where you want to start a family and raise kids?

All of those play a factor in determining the desirability of a job. I am a firm believer that "my job doesn't exist outside this city" is a bulls**t myth. Even if you're a super specialized rocket scientist with a PhD in orbital dynamics, NASA is not the only organization with a job opening for you.

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#66

Don’t ignore that box of red flags next to the person you’re dating. I mean seriously - they’re in their house/apartment, their car, hell - their friends even wave them at you sometimes. Ok their parents help hide them if they like you but still.

Stop acting like you don’t see them. Just stop

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#68

Save your god dam money

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Ninn Kynok
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The capital a diety uses to fund the construction of a barrier to hold back water?

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#69

Try to be sceptical of everything and ask for proof.

So you dont fall for scams like giving money/help/awards to ppl faking illnesses,as alot of reddit learned the hard way this week.

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#70

You are the master of your own head. The big boss of braintown. The alpha of beta thoughts.

You shouldn't let stray thoughts or feelings control your life. It's perfectly okay to disconnect yourself from them and control your mental state.

You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness of your thoughts.

Too many people these days don't understand that. They let their thoughts control them, unquestionably. The ability to tell your own brain "Hey, f**k off, stop doing that" is so irrevocably powerful that it's frustrating how many people don't understand that you can do that. I think it's a realization that has to come through your own little epiphany.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's also frustrating how many people don't understand its not as simple as that for people suffering with mental illness.

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#71

That there is no way a country can have a strong economy if there's no support to science and education. Scientists are normal people who work their ass off to have a workplace, funding and their jobs taken seriously

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#72

There are no rules. There are laws, but there are no rules. You can do anything you wasn’t however you want. Don’t be afraid to let go once in a while and have ice cream for dinner, or stay up all night. You can live your life how you want and there’s no rule that says you can’t.

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Counterargument: There is a Golden Rule that isn't law and there are CONSEQUENCES. You are not entitled to act in anyway detrimental to other people without consequence - even if there is no law specifically forbidding it. Eat ice cream for breakfast? Go for it. Bully and push your way to the front of the queue because you have the patience of a toddler? Be prepared to be refused service.

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#73

The anger and arguments over petty things was a waste of time.

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#74

That they are responsible to unf**k their lives. No one else.

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N G
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But that it's okay (and even encouraged) to ask for help. It's not possible to do everything alone.

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#75

How to relax and enjoy life without taking yourself too seriously

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#76

When they are in the good times. It's only when you look back and reminisce that you realise how good you had it.

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I’m A Black Cat
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or vice versa: how bad you had it and how good you have it now. Appreciation comes with comparison and awareness

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#77

That you came to this planet with only one thing - your body; and you should take good care of it. If you take good care of it all other problems become much smaller and tackle able.

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Mar Nadal
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That you can take good care of your body and yet get sick and die, or have an accident

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#78

To not stick (insert object) into (insert different, dangerous object)

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#80

Take responsability for your stuff.

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#81

Don't borrow money

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Macaw
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is how a lot of businesses get their seed capital, especially for entrepreneurs who weren't born in a wealthy family. In fact, my best friend has 3 successful restaurants and he got started from the ground up because he borrowed money. Sure, he had to pay back the interest, but now he has a steady stream of cash flow.

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#82

Maturity.

I have many subjects that I'm passionate about, and I seek out places to discuss but even if I meet someone that completely disagrees with me, it's not my job or my desire to change their opinion or even discuss the subject with them when it has nothing to do with that relationship.

And sometimes I'm absolutely terrible at following that rule.

I'd always rather make friends than enemies. It's tempting to make an "other" out of someone, but labeling someone a "libtard/drumpfer" reduces them to one subject matter and makes you lose out in what could be a valuable relationship that builds both of you up.

That being said, there are toxic people everywhere so have caution and prudence, but do your best to never dehumanize.

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Eslamala
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand why people need for others to agree with them. Are they so insecure that they need others to reassure their beliefs/opinions? I mean, I don't give a fck if people like the things I like, or agree or disagree with me on anything.

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#83

Figuring out my career.

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#84

Navigate conflicts without escalation and reaching a mutually desired outcome. Very important if you want to have and maintain a long term relationship.

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#85

not to cheat on their partners

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Glenn Zoontjens
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really? I'd have thought this one would have been blatently obvious!!

#87

The deflector shield will be quite operational.

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Helen Haley
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The deflector shield is like a swiss army knife, it is good for just about everything.

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#88

That it's okay to enjoy yourself in college when you are still young.

Safe fun of course.

Your experience helps you in life and grades aint s**t if you come out graduated with no clue how real life and people work.

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#89

Two words: Flared base

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#90

You don’t need your ears to listen to yourself.

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