Join the Fun!

Heck yes. Please take a seat.

My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are:

Waking up in the middle of the night to her suddenly sitting violently up in bed, throwing back the covers, and screeeeaaaaming: “TARANTULA!!”. That will make you very awake, very quickly.

Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”

But my all time favorite was when, from her perspective as she later explained, she was dreaming that I was playfully sneaking up on her and she saw me and was calling me on it. From my perspective, my wife sat up in the middle of the night, starting into the darkest corner of the room and said repeatedly in a soft sing-song voice: “I seeee youuuu.” My flipping blood froze.

chairpilot Report

Final score:

219points

POST

Reveluv_kpop 4 years ago

what a nightmare

57points

my boyfriend once blurted out “you’re putting BREAD in my ears” in his sleep, mumbled something unintelligible and then followed up with “and i’m becoming a SANDWICH”. still makes me laugh whenever i remember

burgervann Report

Final score:

178points

POST

Sarcasm101 4 years ago (edited)

Lemme ask... what kind Of sandwich

34points

My boyfriend woke me up the other day by gently putting his fingers in my mouth and I kept moving my head out of the way until eventually I was like “can you stop that!!!”

He then sounded genuinely upset and asked why I woke him up as he was having a really nice dream about feeding a deer. Brilliant.

liv832 Report

Final score:

166points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Awww, he was fawning over you.

117points

Not a partner but in military training and school I often took the night shift for guard duty. The amount of sleepwalkers and talkers is way higher than I expected. It is straight creepy when you have to walk down the halls with a covered flashlight listening to big-ass grown men mumbling and lashing out in their sleep.

What takes the cake though is often sleepwalkers will just kinda stop randomly. So you'll be walking along in the pitch-black darkness and suddenly there is just a [damn] dude standing there. Eyes generally closed, or worse... open, just kinda listing to the side or leaning against a bedpost or wall. After I'd suppress all the swear words I was about to yell out; nothing much to do but kinda prod them along back to their bed. For all the randomness that is being part of the military, I really didn't expect one of my jobs to be gently tucking my fellow soldiers back into their beds.

bahumutx13 Report

Final score:

164points

POST

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 4 years ago

That. Is. Creepy. As. Hell.

56points

Sigh; my boyfriend either recites postcodes (delivery driver) or calls the dog in his sleep. So either he is mad no one is responding to his postcode nonsense or I get a flying 30kg dog to my body

quackcurls Report

Final score:

162points

POST

CelSlade 4 years ago

LMAO!

40points

He farted very loudly and proceeded to say, “you got the wrong guy”

dadjokedame Report

Final score:

161points

POST

Why? 4 years ago

He was later arrested for a*s-ault with a deadly weapon.

130points

Napping with the boyfriend, a loud noise wakes me, but hes still out

me: What was that?!
him: Either a tree or a magic eraser

m0nster6884 Report

Final score:

159points

POST

yosemity sam 4 years ago

my bets on magic eraser

88points

My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and I found out he's a notorious sleep talker. Some nights he would roll over to me, kiss me full on the mouth, tell me he loves me, then plonk right back on his pillow and start snoring again(this actually happens regularly, much to my delight lol). Other nights he would blurt out things like how he would install a new server at the sherrif's office, or there's a snake on his palm and when I asked what it's doing he answered that it's coding something.

I now enjoy staying up late and am a proud owner of several recordings of my husband's sleep talkings. Recently, I got him answering math questions and it tickled me silly how he got them all correct.

syringedipity Report

Final score:

159points

POST

Michelle Geiger 4 years ago

Ahhh, the honeymoon phase. ;)

78points

#10

This actually happened last night, my fiance started talking to me like we had never met before and after a minute I realized that she was dreaming about our first date. It was really wholesome and I was surprised at how much detail she remembers.

Anthrosite Report

Final score:

152points

POST

Levity Camilleri 4 years ago

Aww, that's so sweet.

45points

#11

I remember one night mum and I sat in the hallway giggling because my brother and dad were having a sleep conversation in different rooms.

Dad : “DO YOU SELL STEEL HERE?”

Brother : “CAN I HELP YOU DAD?”

Dad : “I WANT TO BUY SOME STEEL”

Brother : “WHAT?”

Dad : “HOW MUCH IS THE STEEL”

StandingMoonlit Report

Final score:

148points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

It really galvanized their father-son relationship.

102points

#12

Lmaoo one time, my ex was asleep and start to snore progressively loud. He startled himself half awake, and he says out loud (to himself) "shut UP, I'm sleeping". Oh I snorted my drink through my nose

bathoryblue Report

Final score:

138points

POST

Noddy 4 years ago

I snort wine too

24points

#13

My wife started screaming one night that she was lost in the local grocery store. And that no matter where she went she couldn't find her way out. I asked her has she tried checking out at the cash registers? She then looked at me and said in her most sincere voice, "that's why you are the smartest person I know." And she rolled over and fell back asleep.

Thud4444-1 Report

Final score:

135points

POST

Why? 4 years ago

What about the cleanup on aisle 9?

29points

#14

My wife was mumbling a lot and suddenly shouted "DONKEY KICK!" as she kicked me in my shin, so that was fun.

Mike-RO-pannus Report

Final score:

134points

POST

TheIsleOfSkye 4 years ago

Donkey, get outta mah swamp

58points

#15

Ex-roommate talked in his sleep. Once, he cried out, "NO GANDALF!"

gullmourne Report

Final score:

132points

POST

MermaidsAndDragons 4 years ago

but what was Gandalf doing?

43points

#16

Fantastic sleep songs with lyrics which are utterly bizarre. My two absolute favourites have been

"Oh whoa whoa, it's a corner cat"

"Obey my rules, an' you'll always be, a country cowboy" - repeated about 5 times and finished with a "yeaaahhhh."

eyeslikeacrab Report

Final score:

131points

POST

Reveluv_kpop 4 years ago

oh no corner cat!

38points

#17

I'm the sleeptalker here; got this from my wife the next morning.

Me: sits bolt upright They're coming. Everything's ready.

Wife: sleepily huh?

Me: They're coming. Everything's ready.

Wife: They're coming?

Me: Mmm hmm.

Wife: But everything's ready?

Me: ... yes

Wife: Sounds like we're ok then.

Me: Comically flops back down and instantly goes back to sleep.

sgware Report

Final score:

130points

POST

yosemity sam 4 years ago

love that she went along with it.

62points

#18

My grandfather was a hard sleep talker , my grandmother has a funny story.

One day my grandfather while sleeping was saying" do i punch this asshole" my grandmother replayed yeah punch him then my grandfather in his sleep punched her.

Cocamello Report

Final score:

119points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Grandmother's name was Judy. It was a Punch and Judy show.

40points

#19

We were freshly married and living overseas. My husband hadn’t had much sleep the nights before, which usually enhances any sleep talking. It was hot in our room. My husband mumbled something which I didn’t quite catch. I asked him to repeat it. He got up, opened the bedroom window and said very pointedly “Air flow, B**ch!” then laid back down, completely asleep. Now, my husband has never, not once, ever called me a name or even raised his voice to me, so this is particularly hilarious.

Also, this happened before Breaking Bad was a big thing, so maybe my husband is the original Jesse Pinkman? Except without all the meth and mayhem, of course.

panicked228 Report

Final score:

115points

POST

Becky Hendrickson Monska 4 years ago

I just spit on my phone. Brilliant 👏

21points

#20

my mom tells a story about a time she fell asleep with her arm above her head. it lost circulation and dropped onto her chest but she had no feeling in it since it “fell asleep”. when it flopped on her chest she woke up and tried to throw her asleep arm, screaming that a dead hand had fallen on her.

uncannykosmonaut Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Kim Lorton 4 years ago

I am beside myself laughing so jard!!!

31points

#21

I woke up one night when my husband started flailing around in the bed. It shocked me and I shouted “what’s wrong?” Then he punched me in the face. I yelled out and started crying, then he woke up and shouted “what’s wrong?” He dreamt he was being chased and then turned round and punched them.
My mum who is in her 80s, often falls asleep in her chair while I’m visiting her. She sleep eats. Not real food but she goes through the motions of holding a plate and bringing food to her mouth. It’s hilarious watching her. I asked her once if it was nice and she said yes it’s very tasty.

GuineapigsRB Report

Final score:

108points

POST

Cynner 4 years ago

I laughed so hard about your mum!!

24points

PagurusLongicarpus Report

#22

Years ago, my wife was mumbling in her sleep and seemed a bit upset. I wanted to comfort her, without waking her up too much, so I said, "Honey, you're fine. Do you know where you are?"

She slugged me in the arm, and said "I'm in place where punch buggies are seen first." She then rolled over and muttered to herself, "chugga-chugga-chugga-buggy", and went back to sleep.

She didn't remember a think the next morning.

Final score:

106points

POST

AflyingSquirrel 4 years ago

lol

12points

#23

I'm the sleep talker.

A long while back my fiancee was working a job where she didn't get home until after midnight.

She came home one night, and was leaning over the table on my said of the bed.

She swears up and down that I looked up at her, smacked her on the top of the head, and when she asked what the hell that I told her I was checking to see if she was a ghost.

Now, I do remember having a dream like this, but in my dream my hand did go through her head, proving she was a ghost.

Bitchy_Ghost Report

Final score:

105points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Maybe she really IS a ghost and what you think is real life is actually the dream.

41points

#24

My aunt likes to tell the story about her and my cousin sharing a hotel room one time. My aunt woke up having to pee, and found my cousin sitting up in bed with her arms folded across her abdomen, kind of rocking back and forth and giggling quietly. When my aunt asked her what she was doing, my cousin said, “I’m holding a baby and it has an adult smile!”

I found this story deeply unsettling.

Dusty_Old_Bones Report

Final score:

94points

POST

Janine Hunt-Jackson 4 years ago

Horror movie comin' right up!

42points

#25

He started shouting that he couldn’t feel his left arm. I pointed out he was pinching his pillow, not his arm. He then freaked out that he had lost his arm. I pointed out his arm was UNDER his pillow. He said ok and started snoring. It took me another hour to get back to sleep. He didn’t wake up at all.

rox-and-soxs Report

Final score:

88points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Lovely pillow talk, you two.

39points

#26

My mom sleepwalks sometimes. When she was in the middle of her residency, she came into my room in the middle of the night and sharply asked, "Did you give {patient} her dose of {medication} like I asked you to 15 minutes ago?"

I groggily replied, "Who? Wha?"

She just huffed and said, "Well I guess that answers my question." Before turning around and leaving. (without closing the door of course)

She didn't remember a thing about it the next morning.

Catan_Settler Report

Final score:

87points

POST

Cindy Hoffman 4 years ago

I had a dream that I was being chased up a ladder by a gorilla. So I kicked him. Turned out my hubby doesn’t like being kicked in his privates while sleeping 💤

60points

#27

My girlfriend once yelled in her sleep "no No NO you SPUNKY LESBIAN"

I'm a dude

still tease her about it

TerryTheOctopus Report

Final score:

85points

POST

yosemity sam 4 years ago

you spunky lesbian

46points

#28

My girl woke up one night and said "Did you find your rocks?" and I asked her what she was talking about and she said "I don't know, I'm just trying to make conversation." and promptly went back to sleep.

She has no recollection of this.

JWolf886 Report

Final score:

82points

POST

Jill Nolan 4 years ago

Perhaps I'll try that next time I'm unsure what to say to someone.

33points

#29

He got up, went into the kitchen and ate one bite of a mini pecan pie - no fork, just a straight bite - then apparently remembered he hates pecan pie and left it stacked neatly on the little box.

Another time he sat up and stared straight ahead at the wall, didn't respond to me asking what was wrong. He stood up, walked into the wall, then stood there like he was contemplating the barrier. He just backed up exactly as he came, sat down and swung back into bed like nothing happened. That was creepy.

Metal___Barbie Report

Final score:

76points

POST

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 4 years ago

I would've pissed myself laughing

27points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#30

Husband woke up in the morning and told me about a crazy dream he had: we were hosting a party and he was serving cookies. He was upset that nobody was eating them. When we went downstairs, we discovered a full plate of cookies sitting on our dining table.

PersephoneRules Report

Final score:

75points

POST

Henry Cheves 4 years ago

HE MADE COOKIES IN HIS SLEEP?!?!?

42points

#31

I have had funnier experiences than this one, but cannot remember exactly what was said... most recently, though:

My boyfriend scoots over to me to big spoon/little spoon, and I snuggle in, thinking that’s all it was, then he gets real close to my ear and whispers, “Just so you know, there’s something in the closet. Like a... a cartoon turtle.” I did my best not to bust out laughing and just said, “Ok honey!” When he woke up, he had no memory of it whatsoever, of course!

elizwacker Report

Final score:

74points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

It was Donatello, of course.

30points

#32

A friend who was next to my room in a high school dorm used to sleepwalk. He also used to sleep earlier than the rest of the floor. So one night, around midnight, we all were up and talking(in my room), except him(he'd gone to sleep). We were kinda worried that the dorm advisor would cut our chill session and tell us to go to sleep.

Suddenly, we hear someone banging on the door of the room. I get up to go open it and as soon as I turn the handle, the door comes FLYING towards me. I was knocked back into a table and standing there was my sleepwalking friend.

He says, "Where is the secret of the time?", and without waiting for an answer, walks back to his room, climbs into his bunk bed(top) and goes to sleep. Needless to say we were all surprised but being teenagers, we never let him forget it. It became a running joke in the school.

CrazyTechq Report

Final score:

74points

POST

Janine Hunt-Jackson 4 years ago

"Why is there air?"

14points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#33

My husband once sat bolt upright on bed an announced. "You're not working hard enough. I have to fire you" and went back to sleep.

Cathenry101 Report

Final score:

72points

POST

Ann Collingwood 4 years ago

Are you married to Donald Trump?

53points

#34

One night, my boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night, tapping me on my shoulder. He put his finger on his mouth, whispered "shush" to me, then pointed at the door and told me "I can hear something, don't move". Predictably, I nearly [crap] my pants. All the worst possible scenarios crossed my mind, and the moment of silence after he shushed me felt like hours. Then, he started waving his hands and talking about tetris, 'the twirlies' (idk), and making sure we don't align... And that's how I learnt my boyfriend talks in his sleep.

a95z Report

Final score:

71points

POST

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 4 years ago

Oh. Oh no.

21points

#35

My wife will tell me the next day when I do this.

Her favourite story to tell is that she woke up in the middle of the night to find me slowly walking out of our bedroom. Wife: “Are you ok? What are you doing?” Me: “There’s somebody downstairs in the kitchen, unrolling the tinfoil” Wife: “Ooooo-Kay. What’s your plan?” Me: “I’m going to stop them” Wife: “Shall we get a bit more sleep then both go down together?” Me: “Ok”.

And I went back to bed.

Subsequent investigations found a small plastic bag on the floor, near my head, being rustled by the movement of the curtain, the window being open.

BetamaxTheory Report

Final score:

69points

POST

¯_(ツ)_/¯ 4 years ago

oh god...

12points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#36

My brother did that in the middle of the night. He would get up, go into the living room, say some nonsense [crap] to our parents and go back to bed. It was actually pretty creepy the first times, because he was like: “They ARE in the walls. THEY ARE!”

Proud_Finish Report

Final score:

69points

POST

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 4 years ago

BRAHMS WTF

13points

#37

Not a partner but...1 o'clock in the morning I got a phone call from my friend in the next street. My 6 year old daughter had just knocked on her door and then walked in mumbling about not being able to do her sums! I raced up there and walked home with her, put her back to bed and she didn't wake up or remember a thing the next day.By the next night our house was like Fort Knox!!!

tipskid Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Either your house is Fort Knox or Your Daughter Knox.

15points

#38

Roommate freshman year of college was a sleepwalker/sleeptalker. We were in the freshman dorms, small little room. I woke up one night and saw him sitting straight up on the side of the bed just staring at me (eyes fully open) just talking gibberish about golf. He was going on about Phil Mickelson or some [crap]. Have to be honest, it was creepy as all hell because he was staring directly into my eyes. Next morning, I told him about it and he just laughed and said, sorry, I tend to do that from time to time.

ignatious__reilly Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Why? 4 years ago

It was par for the course.

46points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#39

My one claim to sleeptalking fame is that as I was waking up I was talking in my dream, so my partner heard me say, out of nowhere, “What about like... a really tall giraffe?”

I remember saying it. I have no memory of what problem I was facing that I thought might be solved by a really tall giraffe.

SaveTheLadybugs Report

Final score:

66points

POST

CelSlade 4 years ago

10points

#40

My wife was in her finals week, so she woke up in the middle of the night telling me she discovered a way to study while sleeping.. so I asked her how, and she closed her eyes and went back to sleep...

Guy4mKuwait Report

Final score:

63points

POST

CelSlade 4 years ago

Vital knowledge lost to the world :(

44points

H0lyThr0wawayBatman Report

#41

My dad used to sleep pee when I was a kid. I learned to check the bathroom floor before I entered. My mom also once caught him in the basement. They have a hole cut into the cement floor next to the washing machine for the sump pump. He was peeing into the sump pump hole. She asked what he was doing and he said "Hole number 11."

Final score:

36points

POST

Seedy Vine 4 years ago

S**t! Where were the other 10 holes?

31points

kalastaja774 4 years ago

... Aaand now it turned into a horror movie.

4points

Fabulous Otaku 4 years ago

ohhhh my brother used to pee everywhere. we never knew who it was bc he didn’t remember, but one night, i caught him peeing on one of my paintings. it was awful bc everyone was mad at him for ruining a ton of stuff and he was mad bc he didn’t believe he had done it

3points

Cammy 4 years ago

My ex used to sleep pee he once got up and peed in the laundry basket, and the next night he peed in his shoes in the wardrobe

1point

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#42

When I was a child about 5 years old, I was sleeping in my parents bed for some reason (probably a storm). Mom was awake, dad and I were asleep. Suddenly my father and I have this cross-sleep conversation while my mom lays between us, quietly freaked out:

"Dad, you better not take my toys!" I mutter angrily.

"Ok, I won't" my father responds.

"Don't even touch them."

"Ok."

Not particularly scintillating conversation, but notable for the fact that were both asleep and still responding to each other. It was like making Alexa and Siri talk to each other lol

Saltwich Report

Final score:

36points

POST

CelSlade 4 years ago (edited)

My sister and her best friend fell pregnant within a month of each other. As they were 15 and this was old South Africa, her parents were horrible and kicked the friend out, so she came to live with us. I had to walk through their (shared) room to get to mine. Just about every night I would walk past a fast-asleep argument between the two pregnant fairies. They would be talking utter nonsense, but in serious, really angry arguing tones eg; sis: 'Cut, Anthony, CUT!!!' friend: 'I TOLD YOU IT WAS RED!' Had me giggling every night :P

15points

#43

My girlfriend was sleep working one night.

Her: "Can we get that done this week?"

Me: "Huh?"

Her: "Can we get that done this week?"

Me: "Sorry?"

Her: "Can we get that done this week please?"

Me: "Ok"

Her: "Thanks"

Crassus87 Report

Final score:

36points

POST

Santhe van der Meulen 4 years ago (edited)

Poor woman, she doesn't even have time off when she is sleeping!

10points

#44

My mom used to wake me up for school because I’d sleep through my alarms. She has a bunch of stories about weird [crap] I’ve said to her right before waking. “He’s not here, check down the street!” “Just put it on the roof and it’ll blow away.”

GozerDGozerian Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Damon Gates 4 years ago

Maybe you needed a better alarm. I was sharing a motel room with a coworker and his alarm was connected to an old-school clapper-and-bell alarm. I think it woke the entire floor the next morning.

8points

"I Didn't Start The Dryer": Karen Gets Taught A Lesson After Throwing Out Neighbor's Wet Clothes

See Also on Bored Panda

College Student Does Exactly As Told After Roommates Demand They Keep Their Stuff In Their Room

#45

My GF does a bit of sleep-talking. I mentioned a sheep character from Animal Crossing (Dom) and she sounded like she was about to cry saying "he doesn't have hands". (Which, to be fair, he doesn't)

lord_flamebottom Report

Final score:

34points

POST

AflyingSquirrel 4 years ago

3points

#46

I'd be the king of Monaco! My wife said this one night out of nowhere. The funniest part was her tone of voice,proud and assertive, like she was really sure of her claim to the throne. Anyway, the joke's on her, Monaco is a principality.

Jamdog77 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

Anna Repp 4 years ago

So? When's she's the king, Monaco becomes a kingdom, duh!

19points

#47

Not my partner, but my younger brother and I used to share a room and used bunkbeds. One night I heard him mumble

"I don't create the weather, I just predict it."

aBastardNoLonger Report

Final score:

32points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Then the other brother says, "You don't make it rain. I do." and then pees on him, as brothers like to do.

8points

#48

I've been told that, as a child, my father would regularly sleepwalk into his dad's bedroom and urinate in his work shoes.

Bastard_Wing Report

Final score:

31points

POST

I AM A LOLLY SNEK (she/her) 3 months ago

0points

Guy Divorced 3 Years Ago Drops Off 3 Y.O. With His Ex-Wife Completely Out Of The Blue

See Also on Bored Panda

“All Three Shot Out Pink”: Triplets' Baby Shower Turns Sour, Pregnant Wife Wants A Divorce

#49

Not my partner, but my younger brother says the most ridiculous stuff. One time he said “get off my treasure” in a pirate voice. Another time he said “get your hands off my fish”

PinkAppleTrees Report

Final score:

29points

POST

CelSlade 4 years ago

Your brother is possessive in a particularly nautical way when asleep :P

26points

H0lyThr0wawayBatman Report

#50

Once my ex said "horse." That's all. Just horse. But with a sense of urgency.

The same ex told me I once sat straight up in bed and mumbled, "Jesus, grandma, you scared the [crap] out of me." I had been dreaming that I was in bed at night and my grandma (still alive at the time) wandered into the room and stood at the end of the bed with a blank stare.

Final score:

26points

POST

TuxCat13 4 years ago

Holy c**p...

9points

#51

I was watching tv once when my sister came out of her room, and shoved her pillow in a kitchen drawer. After that she crossed the living room, opened the front door and said “they’re almost here.” She closed the door, and went back to her room. It was my first experience with sleepwalking, and scared the complete [crap] out of me. As far as I am aware, that is the only incident she has ever had.

m_b_hawkins Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Juno Suk 4 years ago

Then she went to the tv, changed the channel and stared at the tv snow. Then whispered, "They're heeeere."

9points

#52

Reminds me of my sleepwalking incident. When I was that age, my babysitter was out walking with her boyfriend at 10 pm and found me curled up, sleeping on the sidewalk a block away from our house. They picked me up and brought me home, and apparently I had turned on every light as I left. Fort Knox? After that incident, my dad had to climb through the kitchen window if he had to work late. All the doors had latches out of my reach.

scherster Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Hanne DeBann 4 years ago

One night about two months ago (I have no recollection of this.) my brother said that I was talking in my sleep and I tossed and turned and kept saying that I had to take Chewy out. (We were taking care of our neighbors dog, Chewy.) Chewy was scratching at the door so maybe that's why. Also I remember when I was little that I used to wake up in the middle of the night and be facing the wrong side of the bed.

7points

#53

I was in my brothers room watching tv with him and he ended up falling asleep. He mumbled something about Arizona and when I asked what he said he didn’t respond. Then a few minutes later he sits up, squints his eyes and just scans the room back and forth. I asked if he was okay and he laid back down and went back to sleep. I still don’t know what he was scanning the room for but it creeped me out.

kateykat98 Report

Final score:

18points

POST

#54

chairpilot Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Lois Hoffer 4 years ago

After that, I'd never sleep!! horrible!!

2points

#55

My wife was an avid sleep talked for a long time and her midnight announcements range from simple single words to elaborate speeches. The ones that really stand out to me are:

Whispering my name repeatedly which woke me up so she could share in a hushed, cautious voice: “There is an alligator in here.” When I expressed my concern (playing along) she told me, still whispering, that: “It’s okay. It has been here before.”

chairpilot Report

Final score:

11points

POST

crazyswede 4 years ago

Duplicate

21points

Neringa is a proud writer at Bored Panda who used to study English and French linguistics. Although she has many different interests, she's particularly drawn to covering stories about pop culture as well as history. While not at the office, this Panda enjoys creepy movies, poetry, photography and learning how to play the piano.

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What do you think ?

POST

MermaidsAndDragons 4 years ago

One time, at GS camp, one girl sat up in the middle of the night and screamed "FROGS!" Being the children that we were, we never let her forget it.

18points

averageperson 4 years ago

I shared a bedroom with my sisters growing up. We had two bunk beds, I slept on one top bunk and one of my sisters slept on the other top bunk. One night I woke up, hearing her climbing down the ladder. I watched her in confusion as she walked towards the door, but then she slammed right into it and woke up. I asked her what she was doing and she had no idea.

15points

BusLady 4 years ago

My sis was sleep walking, and she woke me up as she was coming into my room. I just gently led her back to bed.

3points

Marnie 4 years ago

The very first day I let my son get up without me, he came in to ask me if he could watch TV. According to him, I responded, "If you plug the whale's blowhole, then it should be safe, but be very careful. It's a delicate operation."

5points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 4 years ago

lmao

0points

Fabulous Otaku 4 years ago

my brother and i share a room. a few weeks ago, he was in the bathroom, and i was asleep. apparently i got up, dragged my blanket and a bobby-pin to the bathroom door, picked the lock, threw my blanket at my brother, said “b**ch, you shouldn’t have brought the cat.”(we don’t have a cat) and went back to sleep. idk if he was joking or not, but i had a dream about a cat killing my pet turtle, and being mad at someone for bringing a cat. also, i woke up and there was a bobby pin in the bathroom lock, and my blanket was near the toilet.

5points

Avery Jones 4 years ago

Hilarious! When I was a kid I used to sleepwalk down the stairs, have a full on conversation with my parents about being hungry, grab a cheese stick and go promptly back to bed

5points

Esca Sav 4 years ago

Currently I started sleepingwalking again. I leave my alarm across the room so I can get up to shut it off. HOWEVER, turns out my brain doesn't like me waking up so I sleepwalk to shut it off and go back to bed. God forbid this happened during my university exams. My mom also talks to me in the morning on what she needs me to do throughout the day, but when she gets home she yells at me for not doing what she asks. Didn't take long for us to realized I was not conscious when she spoke to me. The sleeping me is a real b*tch.

5points

just a hamilfan 4 years ago

i laughed so hard at this

0points

Computernaut 4 years ago

These remind me of something my sister did one time. She has always talked in her sleep. When she was little she had "night terrors"; dreams where she would call out hysterically for our dad and cry and scream. I only woke up from a few of these, but they were quite annoying. Anyway, she also sleep walks on occasion, one time she came walking down the hall carrying a box, she placed it carefully on the floor. The next morning she came along and said "Ugh, who put this box here?!". My brother also used to sleep walk, or more like sleep run. I woke up at 1:00 am one time to find him tearing up and down the hall like a maniac. He would run from the top of the stairs, to his room and then back again, over and over again. I got out of bed and when he was in the process of turning around I asked him when he was doing. He stared at me vacantly and then ran past. My dad woke up and chased him all the way down stairs. I went back to bed and I have no idea when happened in the end.

3points

Cecilia Cheung 4 years ago

My younger sister and I used to have bunk beds, and she's quite a dreamer. One night, out of nowhere, she suddenly shouted, "I didn't do it!!!". Scared the heck outta me. Another time, she was sleeping over at a friend's house, sleep walked to the door but didn't open it, fell asleep on the floor and rolled under the bed. No one could find her in the morning

3points

Octavia Hansen 4 years ago

My husband was very generous in his sleep talking after we were married . . . he kept giving me things. After many weeks I told him thanks for the house, the car, the cat and the pool.

3points

Kaden Walker 4 years ago

last semester, I was taking a nap and i was half awake. my roomate was like "Kaden, are you awake?" and i said. " OF COURSE I"M awake! I"M driving a car!" to which she said" Kaden, no, you' asleep." " I know i'm awake, cuz if i was asleep i woulnd't be able to avoid all these zebras on the highway!"

2points

Wendy Moule 4 years ago

As a teenager, I use to go out on my friends boat for the week. We would play the card game, go fish. Well one night her mum just caught me sleepwalking off the end of the boat, mumbling about how I lost my nines. I didn't remember any of it. Another time, 8 year old me was dreaming that the xmas lights were on at the house across the street and i was standing in the garage looking at them. Until the cold woke me and I was standing in the dark garage. I didnt not know where I was and stood there shrieking my head off until my nan came and found me. As a 50 something, we had a puppy that would wake me up in the middle of the night for warm milk. One night the puppy slept through but I woke up crawling across the living room floor. I turned the kitchen light on and put the milk in the microwave without waking up. Rather unsettling wondering what you might get up to every time you lay down to sleep!

2points

denisse_knty_936 4 years ago

Wendy Moule what

0points

GeneralZod 4 years ago

I sleptwalk often while at University. I walked into a friend's open dorm room and crawled into bed with her while she was with her boyfriend. I was caught more than once standing in the shower fully clothed. I would go to the common area and laugh at the TV, which wasn't turned on. Thankfully word spread quick and my floor mates took it in stride and usually escorted me back to my room :)

2points

Torchicachu 4 years ago

I was watching a movie with my mom one night, she obviously fell asleep in the middle of it, and I shook her to wake her up so she could see my favorite part, but she smacked me and yelled "GO TO BACON!"

2points

Torchicachu 4 years ago

My mom tells us this story all the time. Basically, she was tugging on my dad's leg hairs, he asked what she was doing, and she told him that she was pulling weeds.

2points

Teodora L. Kostadinova 4 years ago

I once laughed out in my sleep giving my boyfriend a heart attack in the middle of the night. Another moment I'm not very proud of is that time when I farted and skared myself awake. Yes, boyfriend was present that time too.

2points

Jo Choto 4 years ago

My late husband lived an entire other life in his sleep. While sleeping, he used to do his job and have conversations with his workmates, attend parties, drive his car, and move and talk throughout. The worst one for me was when he would dream about going nightclubbing, because his dancing would usually result in me getting smacked by his flailing arms and legs.

2points

hoowa 4 years ago

Jo Choto follower

0points

Deson 4 years ago

Sorry late to the party but I had to share this. This involves a friend of mine nicknamed "Mongo". Many years ago he was crashed out on the couch at another friends place when 2 friends of mine heard him say "What has 8 legs and eats people? Shelly Winters!!" Followed by a giggle from him. When he woke up he had no clue what that was about but there were 2 witnesses to this.

2points

Karl Guidotti 4 years ago

I once asked my wife how tall Jesus was.

2points

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 4 years ago

Wait now I wanna know

0points

Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago

I sometimes talk in my sleep and have had actual conversations with my partner because he decides to play with me lol. The strange thing is I am kind of aware I am doing it but I can't stop, if that makes sense. One dream I had I said "please stop that", my hubby replied, stop what to which I said "not you, daughters name", My hubby then said don't forget about the monkeys in the cupboard and I responded with "don't be f*****g stupid". Another time I had a whole transaction with my husband, asking him how his day was, how much he owes, if he wanted a bag for his shopping and at then he asked for his change and a receipt.

2points

Berry Budgie 4 years ago

We were once at a hotel and i stood up and walked out of the hotel room in my sleep and the door locked behind me. I woke up when the door closed behind me and it was about 11 o’clock then. I didnt want to wake up my parents or anyone else so i just decided to sleep in front of the door (idk what i was thinking). I only got desperate and decided to wake them up around 1 o’clock🤣

2points

Zelda H. 4 years ago

Once my brother sleepwalked into my parents room and started crying in the corner

2points

nataliavelez14 4 years ago

Zelda H. haha

0points

I_Am_So_???? 5 months ago

One time I was talking in my sleep at a sleepover and I said, "No, Winter, I'm not a lesbian." Apparently. If you take my friends' word for it. Also, my brother said, "Give me the thick one. It's redder." once.

1point

Courtney Christelle 4 years ago

Me and my siblings have all slept walk at one point or another, it stopped after we hit puberty. My mom once asked me a question when I was a sleep and I gave her an answer, and later she got mad at me for telling her wrong. I asked her what the c**p she was talking about and that I hadn't been awake. "You were talking", "That doesn't mean I'm awake!" My son now talks in his sleep, can't tell what he's saying cause he mumbles but funny none the less.

1point

Ben Tate 4 years ago

I spent the night on the couch at a friends house in high school. The next morning I went to his room to see if he was awake yet. I said his name to wake him up. He replied with his eyes closed Get the Frog! I said what frog? He said the White Frog with a barcode on its back. I started laughing. He said Quick get it before it hops away.

1point

Flash Henry 4 years ago

We have sooooo many of these from my best friend. I think my favourite ever was the time he sat up really slowly and goes, "shhh.... I'm downloading colours. AND I AM NOT SLEEPWALKING!!!!!" then immediately went back to sleep. Close second was the time he started mumbling, then said "oh my god I know, I hate her," then rolled over and went silent. We still want to know who he was talking about.

1point

tangy chip 4 years ago

Not a sleep talking story, but still pretty funny. Once we were having a sleepover for my best friend's birthday. They only invited 2 people, me and my other best friend, who we'll call Vanilla. So anyway, we were up into the middle of the night on electronics, watching movies, youtube, that sort of thing. Vanilla decided she was tired and pretended to fall asleep while me and the other friend were watching something on the science of sleep. Well, as soon as the person in the video mentioned sleep-talking, Vanilla started saying things like "No, my mom is not a hamster!" And, "thats a huge butt blister, johnny!". Me and the other friend were laughing hysterically. And that's not all. Vanilla pretended to wake up and said "huh? what's happening?" And we go, "oh sorry nothing, go back to sleep." this is not the first time she's done this.

1point

CatWoman312 4 years ago

I was told while on vacation with some friends the person I roomed with came into the room while I was already asleep. They dropped a lighter and I rose up said something incomprehensible and then fell right back down back to sleep. I wish they had recorded it lmao

1point

Jill Rhoads 4 years ago

My husband, after about 15 years of having been married, started yelling in his sleep soooo loudly that we had to "move" him to the other side of the house. I thought it might be something bothering him but it turns out it's sorta genetic and his aunt had done the same thing throughout her life as well. There are no "night terrors" involved thank gawd...just plenty of loud yelling once in a while at night. It does scare the c**p out of you though if you're sleeping next to it.

1point

Leo Domitrix 4 years ago

My husband will occasionally try to sell me a 1995 red Honda Civic. Does it make sense? No. But he likes to try to sell me our old junker in his sleep! Only way to get him asleep fully again is to say, "OK, where's the pink slip?" and he says, "Mmmkay" and off to sleep he goes. Me? Not so much, but that's married life!

1point

Ste 4 years ago

Leo Domitrix what

0points

BusLady 4 years ago

My sister was a sleepwalker and talker. There was this boy at school who she couldn't stand, but he had a mad crush on her. One morning after she had been sleep talking, we told her that she had been calling this guy's name all night: "Bill, I love you." We were so mean.

1point

Roadkill The Brave 4 years ago

My mom has slept talked for years. I didn't find out that I did until my great-aunt asked me why I was so upset about a table. Apparently I had been talking about my mom's old leather top table that I loathed. Asked my sister, some friends, and my own mother. Yeah I've slept talked my entire life. I knew I slept walked to my alarm clock and hit it until it shut up, but more of a talker than a walker. My friend and nephew lived with me for a bit recently and both of them discovered this. Then the bastards talked to me in my sleep. I asked them to please stop, as that's just weird. I know my friend did but I'm pretty sure my nephew didn't until he moved out. I've woken myself up a few times talking. That's always fun, saying things like 'the mop knows' as you flail and arm and sit up. So yeah, all the fun. *Sighs*

1point

Hayley Benoit 3 years ago

I screamed " spider!". Then rolled out of bed.

0points

just a hamilfan 4 years ago

my brother would also sleep giggle which scared the heck out of my mom

0points

just a hamilfan 4 years ago

in the fifth grade, we went on an overnight field trip to a place called c.o.l.s and the girl in the bunk above me straight up screamed at 3 am "NO THAT'S STUPID!"

0points

Ciara Federico 4 years ago

A couple years ago my friends and I were having a group sleepover and one of us fell asleep earlier than the rest. It was around one o’clock and all of the sudden she sat up and yelled “Guys, I just woke up from a coma!” And then fell back asleep. When we told her about it she said she had no recollection of it.

0points

Maggie Smith 4 years ago

I have never laughed so many times as at these stories. I would laugh so hard I cried or couldn't even read from laughing so hard. THANKS Bored Panda and all the contributors.

0points

Rebecca Painter 4 years ago

Laughter is the best medicine until it gives you an asthma attack. Must go take salbutamol now!

0points

Amanda MacDonald 4 years ago

Just the other day I was very much asleep on the couch when my dog barking woke me up. For some reason I was very startled and yelled in a surprised tone of voice "There's a dog in the house!" Then two seconds later in the same surprised tone I yelled "It's my dog!" I live alone with my dog btw.

0points

Brant Johns 4 years ago

I think I was a teenager when this happened... One night I dreamt of waking up in my bed in my room, all of it exactly how it was for real, so while dreaming I didn't think it was a dream. After 'waking up' I look down my bed and the sheet is raising like something has entered the end of my bed. I raise the sheets and a huge snake is at my legs. I bolt up and jump on the dresser right next to my bed, again the same look and placement of my actual dresser, and keep jumping on top of things getting away from this snake that was raised like a cobra, hissing and stalking me. When I actually woke up, at the moment in the dream when the snake lunged and was about to bite me, I was sitting on the dresser in a cold sweat. I wish I had a video of it - must have looked like paranormal activity.

0points

Ann Abdelzaher 4 years ago

I once apparently told my husband to tell his G** D*** dinosaur to move because it was in my way...

0points

mothers2ndchild🧸 4 years ago

When I went to college, I had two roommates. One of them used to sleep talk, but since I was already accustomed to my grandfather's cries and moans and curses, her soft conversations with some unknown entity did surprise me the first time but didn't bother me afterwards but what really gave me chills was when one day she started reciting stuff in Urdu and since I didn't know the tongue I immediately looked at my other Muslim roommate who just like the previous times was shivering, terrified at the edge of her bed. We later got to know that whenever she had a particularly bad dream she recited stuff to scare the bad things away. I felt bad for the bad things because it was creepy as hell. But then I got accustomed to it. My other roommate however didn't and would start shouting along with the sleeping lady.

0points

mothers2ndchild🧸 4 years ago (edited)

I've two I want to share. As a kid I used to sleep on the same bed as my grandfather and I was already accustomed to his sleep talking but then one day he grabbed me by the shoulders and he was quite strong and started calling my father very loudly shouting thief! Thief! And I was crying for my father too. I thought I would die. From that day I used to keep an extra pillow that I can smack him with in case he has another such attack.

0points

Tamera Gardner 4 years ago

Here are some of our jewels- I woke to the sound of my husband coughing up a loogie. I thought “where’s he gonna spit?” About that time he turns his head and spits in my ear. Said he dreamt he was in the woods. Brother-in-law comes into our bedroom, pees on a pile of boxes then tries to get in bed with us. I shoo him away so he puts on my husbands pants and goes back to his room. The next morning he said he wondered why his pants felt so big. When my granddaughter was about 10, she brought all the bulbs from a ceiling fan light to her mom. She was sleepwalking. My husband woke me up lamenting “you won’t fit in the frying pan!”

0points

albrecht09 4 years ago

Tamera Gardner lol

0points

Meami 4 years ago

I had a friend who's husband was a sleep talker/walker. One time in the middle of the night he grabbed the clock radio and threw it out the window screaming, "It's a bomb". He had no recollection the next day. My mom used to sleepwalk when she was a child. My grandma told me she would appear in the living room, do the Highland Fling, and go back to bed. Again, no recollection the next day.

0points

Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 4 years ago

I talk in my sleep. my brother sleeps downstairs usually and i do upstairs, but apparently he could hear me talk loudly, word by word.

0points

Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 4 years ago

i always get a punch in the face whenever i have to sleep with my brother.

0points

Dolly Abson 4 years ago

I was visiting my parents and woke up to my Mom yelling "Oh Joe! Oh Joe! There's a porcupine on your head! My Dad said: Oh please - that's just the moonlight. It woke my Mom up and then I listened to her laughing and laughing for the next hour. Still brings a huge smile to my face.

0points

jkowalski415 4 years ago

Dolly Abson -

0points

Sam Cook 4 years ago

According to my mom, I gave her a lesson in mono- and polytheism while still asleep.

0points

Bunny Wood 4 years ago

When I was much younger I fell asleep reading Shogun. My mum woke-me-up-ish and I sternly told her not to consider carving up the empire. She looked confused so I sleep told her again in an exasperated tone. Take that Mum.

0points

Leslie Cully 4 years ago

When I was about 9, my mother saw me pass her bedroom door during the night, so she followed me. She found me sitting on the new white sofa and asked me what I was doing. I said, "Going to the bathroom." She said, "Oh no, you're not!" and yanked me right off there. LOL! I didn't remember it.

0points

Rezia I. 4 years ago

When I was a kid, my housekeeper told me that she was ironing clothes in the living room when I woke up from my nap, walked to the living room, picked up the phone, and said, "Good afternoon, can I talk to Mrs. [my mother's name]? Hallelujah, Amen." Then I put the phone back and walked back to my bedroom.

0points

khag 4 years ago

Rezia I. Good response!

0points

Jessica Bertram 4 years ago

Apparently, Once, in my sleep, I asked my husband, "are you a clean monkey?" and he said, "what's the prize?" (playing along, you know)....but i ended the playing by saying, "i KILL you!"

0points

weswsketch 4 years ago

Jessica Bertram follower

0points

Macarena Rodríguez 4 years ago

My first night with my girlfriend. I was sleeping and she asked me to hand her the bottle of water. -Ok, but be careful - Careful with what? - With the Old Lady of the Bottles. She'll come to pick them up soon. She couldn't sleep all night.

0points

Linda 4 years ago

A while ago my fiance was falling asleep while I was putting away some laundry. When I asked him if he still needed to brush his teeth he said angrily: "well of course, the penguin from Facebook is not going to do that". He talks quite a lot in his sleep, another one of my favourite is him talking about taking day crème out of a caterpillar.

0points

Just saying 4 years ago

Some kids have night terrors but my son got the night giggles. He was only two but laughing and chuckling for ages in his sleep. I wish I knew what he was dreaming about.

0points

KT 4 years ago

Oh god these stories are great! My husband does so much sh*t in his sleep it's a bloody nightmare for me. Most of the time he eats in his dreams so he's laying beside me chomping away on his invisible food and the sound drives me bloody crazy. One night I started waking up feeding an odd sensation of things rubbing on my back. I realised he was dragging me over piles of laundry on our bedroom floor then he put me in a head lock and i screamed and he came to. Another time he punched me in the back so hard I woke up with hte wind knocked out of me gasping for breath while he just kept on sleeping away

0points

Kristin West 4 years ago

Well, I have had to throw myself up and after a stark naked fiancé that had gotten out of bed, taken his computer bag and was going to work. He also tried to get down to the washing machines. Funny thing is that he more than once said that he thought his neighbours in the building was looking funny at him... Who knows what he had been doing? Another boyfriend once woke me up because he was wiggling in his sleep. I was on my back, he on his side with his back to me. Suddenly he bounces up and turns mid air so he faces me, and with anger in his voice he said "could you PLEASE remove your big toe from my a*****e!?" Then bam, he was down and asleep again. I cried in my pillow while trying to not laugh and wake the whole house.

0points

chvkarthick 4 years ago

Kristin West what

0points

Pheolei 4 years ago

My husband once yelled out while sleeping "NO monkey....IM HONEY BOO BOO!!"

0points

LittleMissLotus 4 years ago

When I was a kid, I remember walking to my parent's bedroom and in a panic asking them if I liked taco seasoning

0points

GoodWolf 4 years ago

My 2yo turned around last night and said "Don't put the cat away". We don't have a cat.

0points

DC 4 years ago

Might need a wife. I know I do talk while asleep, but I have no idea what.

0points

Suzanne Harris 4 years ago

I'm a sleep talker and occasional sleep walker. My go-to activity apparently is punching my husband in my sleep. I nailed him in the face two days ago. For sleep talking, the more stressed I get, the more often I do it, and the less comprehensible it is. I was visiting my parents, sleeping in my old room. They told me the next morning they heard me scream "PILLOW" at 2am. My legendary one is tossing around in the bed saying frantically (and gradually louder), "No... nOOOO!!! Not the ORANGES!!!!!"

0points

~Ella Cipher~ 4 years ago

Here’s what I did once My great aunt had come over, and was staying the night, in my room, while my mom was gone. Apparently, I had a conversation with her at 5:00 in the morning about a cookie she stole from me. She said I was awake when it happened, but apparently I was asleep. She never stole a cookie from me, and I was asleep the entire time 😂😂

0points

Joanne Hudson 4 years ago

Not sure if I walk or talk but woke myself up emerging from a dream. Don't remember the dream but this happened in the space of about 2 seconds as I woke up. A rapist had broken in and was hunched next to my bed but facing the end of it. He looked like Spy vs Spy but I knew he wouldn't hurt me because he was NEXT to the bed, not on it. I reached out to pat him (?) but then something attacked from the foot of the bed and I sat bolt upright and bicycled myself to the headboard where I woke up fully, knowing it was just a dream. The thing is, I have arthritis in hips and couldn't "bicycle up" to save my life. My brother used to sleep walk and pee down the furnace vent but no one has ever said I walk or talk.

0points

Cynner 4 years ago

An ex of mine woke me up one night because he was pushing me in the side, his eyes were open and he looked pissed. He tried to push me out of the bed and as that didn't worked he sat and looked at the wall very upset before going back to sleep. For myself, i talk in my sleep but never to be understood so far. I also giggle and a few times woke up screaming from a nightmare. I scared my partner shitless, but hey, i was scared too.

0points

Gigi 4 years ago

0points

davidredge87 4 years ago

Gigi good

0points

Chris DiFonso 4 years ago

These are hilarious!

0points

kjorn 4 years ago

i already punch my wife during my sleep. good luck for her i hit her forehead and not her eye. since then she Always told me to never go to sleep with a knife on my nightstand

0points

Jill Rhoads 4 years ago

My grandfather did that to my grandmother. It turns out that it was night terrors which got very serious. Watch out for that. It can get dangerous.

0points

POST

MermaidsAndDragons 4 years ago

One time, at GS camp, one girl sat up in the middle of the night and screamed "FROGS!" Being the children that we were, we never let her forget it.

18points

averageperson 4 years ago

15points

BusLady 4 years ago

My sis was sleep walking, and she woke me up as she was coming into my room. I just gently led her back to bed.

3points

Marnie 4 years ago

5points

TheHolyFatherOfToast 4 years ago

lmao

0points

Fabulous Otaku 4 years ago

5points

Avery Jones 4 years ago

Hilarious! When I was a kid I used to sleepwalk down the stairs, have a full on conversation with my parents about being hungry, grab a cheese stick and go promptly back to bed

5points

Esca Sav 4 years ago

5points

just a hamilfan 4 years ago

i laughed so hard at this

0points

Computernaut 4 years ago

3points

Cecilia Cheung 4 years ago

3points

Octavia Hansen 4 years ago

My husband was very generous in his sleep talking after we were married . . . he kept giving me things. After many weeks I told him thanks for the house, the car, the cat and the pool.

3points

Kaden Walker 4 years ago

2points

Wendy Moule 4 years ago

2points

denisse_knty_936 4 years ago

Wendy Moule what

0points

GeneralZod 4 years ago

2points

Torchicachu 4 years ago

2points

Torchicachu 4 years ago

My mom tells us this story all the time. Basically, she was tugging on my dad's leg hairs, he asked what she was doing, and she told him that she was pulling weeds.

2points

Teodora L. Kostadinova 4 years ago

2points

Jo Choto 4 years ago

2points

hoowa 4 years ago

Jo Choto follower

0points

Deson 4 years ago

2points

Karl Guidotti 4 years ago

I once asked my wife how tall Jesus was.

2points

John Laurens/Gay Turtle 4 years ago

Wait now I wanna know

0points

Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago

2points

Berry Budgie 4 years ago

2points

Zelda H. 4 years ago

Once my brother sleepwalked into my parents room and started crying in the corner

2points

nataliavelez14 4 years ago

Zelda H. haha

0points

I_Am_So_???? 5 months ago

1point

Courtney Christelle 4 years ago

1point

Ben Tate 4 years ago

1point

Flash Henry 4 years ago

1point

tangy chip 4 years ago

1point

CatWoman312 4 years ago

1point

Jill Rhoads 4 years ago

1point

Leo Domitrix 4 years ago

1point

Ste 4 years ago

Leo Domitrix what

0points

BusLady 4 years ago

1point

Roadkill The Brave 4 years ago

1point

Hayley Benoit 3 years ago

I screamed " spider!". Then rolled out of bed.

0points

just a hamilfan 4 years ago

my brother would also sleep giggle which scared the heck out of my mom

0points

just a hamilfan 4 years ago

in the fifth grade, we went on an overnight field trip to a place called c.o.l.s and the girl in the bunk above me straight up screamed at 3 am "NO THAT'S STUPID!"

0points

Ciara Federico 4 years ago

0points

Maggie Smith 4 years ago

I have never laughed so many times as at these stories. I would laugh so hard I cried or couldn't even read from laughing so hard. THANKS Bored Panda and all the contributors.

0points

Rebecca Painter 4 years ago

Laughter is the best medicine until it gives you an asthma attack. Must go take salbutamol now!

0points

Amanda MacDonald 4 years ago

0points

Brant Johns 4 years ago

0points

Ann Abdelzaher 4 years ago

I once apparently told my husband to tell his G** D*** dinosaur to move because it was in my way...

0points

mothers2ndchild🧸 4 years ago

0points

mothers2ndchild🧸 4 years ago (edited)

0points

Tamera Gardner 4 years ago

0points

albrecht09 4 years ago

Tamera Gardner lol

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Meami 4 years ago

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Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 4 years ago

I talk in my sleep. my brother sleeps downstairs usually and i do upstairs, but apparently he could hear me talk loudly, word by word.

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Onion rings like to make your breath smelly 4 years ago

i always get a punch in the face whenever i have to sleep with my brother.

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Dolly Abson 4 years ago

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jkowalski415 4 years ago

Dolly Abson -

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Sam Cook 4 years ago

According to my mom, I gave her a lesson in mono- and polytheism while still asleep.

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Bunny Wood 4 years ago

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Leslie Cully 4 years ago

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Rezia I. 4 years ago

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khag 4 years ago

Rezia I. Good response!

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Jessica Bertram 4 years ago

Apparently, Once, in my sleep, I asked my husband, "are you a clean monkey?" and he said, "what's the prize?" (playing along, you know)....but i ended the playing by saying, "i KILL you!"

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weswsketch 4 years ago

Jessica Bertram follower

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Macarena Rodríguez 4 years ago

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Linda 4 years ago

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Just saying 4 years ago

Some kids have night terrors but my son got the night giggles. He was only two but laughing and chuckling for ages in his sleep. I wish I knew what he was dreaming about.

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KT 4 years ago

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Kristin West 4 years ago

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chvkarthick 4 years ago

Kristin West what

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Pheolei 4 years ago

My husband once yelled out while sleeping "NO monkey....IM HONEY BOO BOO!!"

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LittleMissLotus 4 years ago

When I was a kid, I remember walking to my parent's bedroom and in a panic asking them if I liked taco seasoning

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GoodWolf 4 years ago

My 2yo turned around last night and said "Don't put the cat away". We don't have a cat.

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DC 4 years ago

Might need a wife. I know I do talk while asleep, but I have no idea what.

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Suzanne Harris 4 years ago

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~Ella Cipher~ 4 years ago

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Joanne Hudson 4 years ago

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Cynner 4 years ago

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Gigi 4 years ago

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davidredge87 4 years ago

Gigi good

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Chris DiFonso 4 years ago

These are hilarious!

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kjorn 4 years ago

i already punch my wife during my sleep. good luck for her i hit her forehead and not her eye. since then she Always told me to never go to sleep with a knife on my nightstand

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Jill Rhoads 4 years ago

My grandfather did that to my grandmother. It turns out that it was night terrors which got very serious. Watch out for that. It can get dangerous.

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