50 Thoughts You Might Not’ve Had In The Shower Yet But Could Occupy Your Brain Next Time You’re There

There’s a group (8ppl) of us at work that pass books off to each other. If we didn’t all read and enjoy the same books we literally would never speak to each other.

Back in the day, that was 100% correct. Now everyone is on his smartphone or kindle - including me 🙄.

Wow!!! 🤯

weird

Forklifts is where my mind goes to ...always.

Lee Gilliland

Lee Gilliland

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I always think of one of those old time tractors that moved three miles an hour on roads.

I have discovered that apparently washing machines also count as heavy machinery

I tend to always think farming machinery and forklifts.

I love that so many of us think forklift. 😂 I've never in my life even sat in a forklift, much less operated one. 😅

Your brain weighs less when you wake up in the morning than it did when you went to bed. Your brain uses your sleeping time to drain all the chemicals it used during the day creating thoughts like "When's lunch", and "Did I fold the cat up into the sleeper sofa again?". Dreams are what happens as your brain flushes all those chemicals. So, you can think of dreams as Brain Pee. You're welcome.

May you live with interesting dreams: My brain tries to make up for the lack of excitement in my life by giving me dreams of bizarrely creative cinematic scope - Technicolor, Surround Sound, IMAX, you name it.

I enjoy it tremendously. the fact we're so good at scaring the c**p out of ourselves.

Sleeping is practicing being dead with commercials.

Dreams are simply very well-disguised early memories that got hidden away by our brain as too much for the young sensibilities. We can have hundreds of different disguises for the same memories. Sleeping is letting down our daytime guard of distractions from those hidden memories.

That final minute is the killer. You start massively drooling and it's like nonononono don't you effing puke, just don't you bloody oh BLAAARGH!

Th absolute dread you feel a few minutes before puking is awful, during you don't really care and can't exactly stop and after you feel so much better and wonder what all the fuss was about

I can't throw up. This does not mean there aren't occasions where I really need to. That feeling for an hour with no payoff. It's my least favorite superpower.

Unless you also soil yourself while puking...

Yeah. For sure. There is finally relief, as gross and unsettling as puking can be. But that nausea before the actual calling of Ralph is definitely worse.

When I think about how skinny I was when I thought I was fat, it makes me want to puke ( which is ironically another way to solve my fat problem).

I hate all those people who said I was fat when I was younger, when I look at photos I wasn't fat at all. But I am now.

Weight is so hard. I’m currently at my lowest weight ever because I’ve been diagnosed with a chronic (possibly terminal, knowing my luck) illness, and it’s brought me to within normal weight for the first time since primary school. Upon hopping on the scales I was like “oh, that’s kinda cool! … okay, next.” Losing weight is NOT the magic fix to your life everyone assumes it is.

I wish I was as fat as the first time I thought I was fat.

SO TRUE 😭😭😭

Nothing like almost failing your first year of University, which you're paying for yourself by loans, because you never learned study skills.

When you go to University, all those high achievers get humbled fast.

Top of the class in hs, bored as heck. Definitely never had to focus òn a longterm problem. I've been in service for 24 years. Dead broke with bad knees.

Very true. I have to actually try in college, and it's burning me out so hard

Freshman year of college can often be "13th grade". I am no longer shocked by the absolute lack of life skills and common sense most incoming Freshmen seem to have.

Back in the 90's went to see The Rolling Stones at The Parc des Princes in Paris and a guy in our group was claiming how drunk he was getting on the bottled beer being sold in the stadium. Didn't have the heart to tell him, it was an alcohol free event and at the bottom of the bottles it said in small print "sans alcohol". My hip flask got well used.

My drunk neighbor is proud she’s been sober all day

Yeah I think you're right about that.

"Never handicap your child by making his/her life easy." - R.A. Heinlein

I wouldn't mind if it did some dusting in its' free time

Maybe it's scared of the monster on its roof?