Whether we like it or not, conflicts are inevitable in any long-term relationship. Nearly everyone knows that finding someone you can be completely honest with comes with many ups and downs that reveal the most annoying behaviors imaginable. But while some disagreements can get seriously spicy, partners also often lose control and get angry over absolutely nothing.
Attorney, advocate, and author Rabia Chaudry set out on a mission to discover the stupidest and most meaningless arguments married couples "just cannot, will not stop having". Her Twitter thread quickly blew up with people opening up about the most infuriating habits their spouses have that make them fight about it for years.
From never squishing out the sponge to refusing to close the drawers all the way, every couple has things they repeatedly return to because both sides refuse to back down. Continue scrolling because we’ve selected some of the funniest examples from the thread. Upvote the ones you can relate to all too well, and be sure to share your own pet peeves with us in the comments!
Image credits: rabiasquared
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Maybe not. I tend to do that while doing my own cleaning. Like I'm supposed to clean my room but I'll end up reorganizing every single paper that's in my drawers or sorting my clothes by sleeve length instead of colors as they were initially or find out the paint on something is damaged and spend the next week repainting it... I've done these kind of things since I'm 4... I'm 19. Pretty sure it's because of ADHD and it's damn hyper fixation 😔
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OMG! My husband does this too. He’ll start vacuuming, then halfway through decide the vacuum needs to be cleaned…entirely.. takes it apart starts cleaning it and then never finishing vacuuming. Every. Damn.Time.
Yes! ADHD. Don't fight. Direct. What do you want detailed?
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A couple things here. It's a task he's been wanting to do and he's avoiding the other tasks he doesn't want to do.
This and waiting until you are nearly finished with something and asking if you need help.
Why, to get out of doing actual housework. You need to sit down together & write a list of all chores that need to be done Daily, Bi-Weekly, Weekly, Fortnightly, Monthly & a few times a year. Include everything inside the house & outside. Make sure you include the Emotional chores, Keeping track of family birthdays, Christmas gifts , cards, arranging social events etc. Then divide up the chores so that he is doing a fair share. Most men believe they do far more than what they actually do.
Add to your emotional chores to learn about ADHD.
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Same reason my Dad calls hosing off the driveway all day "his chores" just avoiding the actual household chores he doesn't want to do
ADD, I do this too because I am an idiot. But honestly, it comes with poor planning and time management skills. Things can often seem so overwhelming that they feel impossible so we focus on the small that can be done perfectly. It’s like having blinders on. I am completely ridiculous even when I am, honest to god, trying my best. I’m sorry you have to put up with another just like me.
I think you're being very hard on yourself. If you have ADD, that can be a tough condition to deal with, and it sounds like you're doing the best you can. Most of us have some issue/illness/condition that challenges us.
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I feel this! It's what my partner does everytime there's an inspection or routine house clean, he'll find an already arranged cupboard and rearrange it for hours.
Cleaning something that's already clean is different than taking apart and cleaning the grill. Cleaning the grill is not an easy task and the all that grease is really gross.
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Maybe he's a perfectionist. He's unable to do it if he cannot do it perfectly. And then doing it perfectly consumes his time and energy and cannot do other things. There's a possibility that he has ADHD or OCPD (but not every perfectionist has it).
If you're going to take the time to clean the grill, you might as well be thorough. I also don't see an issue with it being December. I always clean every piece of outdoor furniture before putting it away for winter. Don't want any mold or rodents snacking on those food leftovers during the cold season
Amazing, I thought I was alone in this. We have guests coming over and instead of tidying and general clean-up he’s cleaning the oven like there’s no tomorrow. Stressful day of packing for a vacation and we need to leave in 20 minutes? He goes out and sweeps the common stairwell. Is that ADHD or just a weird obsession with details?
Oh the bacteria and mold that grow in a dirty grill and let's not forget the bugs that take up residence.
He deep cleaned the whole grill. That's a chore and a half. It gets very gross. And it needs to be cleaned so it can be cooked on without spreading germs or starting a fire. I'd love if my husband regularly cleaned the grill of his own accord!
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So sad... hanging on to "macho" housework that is totally irrelevant, except to his ego.
Lol I get stuck doing things like that. Some of us have to follow through and can't half do a job lol
To prevent grill grease fires when you start using it in a couple of months.
My wife and I agreed that I take care of the outside and maintenance while she takes care of the inside and decor. She has her jobs and I have mine. There are no arguments that way.
I'm kinda like that, i like to focus on details, often weird details. Like defrosting the freezer or cleaning the oven with steam cleaning thingie. But i also do regular chores too, not very regularly but still good enough. Those detail weird chores are just something more interesting than regular stuff, so more fun, easier to focus on i guess
Did you marry my ex? We had the entire family plus extras coming for thanksgiving in a few hours, so I'm cleaning and cooking and he is... organizing the screws in his jars in the garage. I said no one would see them, he countered with it needed to be done. Ok. But now NOW.
my bf is always giving me crap for not doing his 'half an hour a day' stuff (meaning more than vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, and dishes) but his contribution to that is to paint the basement stairs or paint the living room. Aaarrgghhh
December is the best time to clean a grill, which is a gigantic pain.
Some ideas on how to handle this prickly issue: -Sit down together and try to establish everyone's priority regarding housework (if only one partner firmly believes it's a woman's job somebody is getting screwed). Then make a list of every task that needs to be done. Including frequency, estimated time, and, if needed, special instructions. Then score every task per person from -5 to 5 according to desirability. Then discuss how to share the work. You will not get 50/50 ever, on whatever way of sharing you choose to use. But you might get a way to work together that will not cause one or the other to feel resentfull, used, or underappreciated. -One other option is switching every week. (This option ussually sucks all around.) -If nothing will work, just help the economy by outsourcing the bulk of the job: get a cleaner for the house. Housework and its sharing should not be allowed to cause a divorce or split-up!
Give him something easy yet specific. " I need you to vaccum because I'm doing dishes and cooking".
SAME!!!! Drives me crazy!! Blowing the leaves when our HOA has lawn service twice a week do it. Yet the house - which we don't have anyone helping - is in constant need of attention (3 yo twins home all day with their grandparents).
Sounds like ADHD. My tip direct what you want him to do, or even better make a shortlist and see if he can keep his attention on it. That's what works for me at least.
My wife is a quantity-over-quality kind of person. I'm usually the "cop-out" but guess who will slowly have to redo everything because there's still grease/dust/whatever still there after she has "cleaned" it? This guy. Not to speak of all the dirty/gross stuff. Heck, she needs my help to unclog the vacuum. She's the love of my life.
It’s different priorities. Think about it, how much time does he spend at the grill compared to you? Grills get really gunked up, disassembling it to clean it is a good idea. Just because it isn’t the chore you wanted him to do doesn’t mean it was him trying to get you to do everything. If you wanted him to do something specifically, you should have used your words and asked him. And for those who are upset because “he should just know,” here’s the truth: he will never care about chores the same way you do. He will never have the same priorities when it comes to cleaning up. To call it a cop out just isn’t true and creates a conflict-based narrative that does nothing but breed resentment.
Did just the opposite (like: your part) and she left cuz I wasn't helping out. I did the BBQ too btw.
Sounds about when my husband feels like working on something in the house lol aways at time when I I'm like really
With climate change, you never know when you'll need a fully functioning grill.
Yes, but it still has nothing to do with cleaning the house so . . .
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Haha, maybe it's a guy thing, not really wanting to get involved, but feels guilty enough to do at least 'some'thing... Seems like th grill is his thing, so him cleaning it will be useful...to him. What a poop head. Lol
Men tend to be able to focus on the details of one task. Where women can multi-task. This is a perfect example. He saw that it needed to be done. He can’t do that in the summer because it’s being used all of the time on the weekend (probably what he was thinking) so December was the perfect time.
Sounds like ADHD tbh. My hub hyperfixates on individual chores. It's why I love him tbh
Because he either doesn't know what to clean and needs told.. or he really is taking the piss and doesn't want to do do anything. Either you're married to a kid or a jackass.
I wonder if your husband doesn't actually know what to do and wants to not get in your way? This is an easy one to figure out. If he's just avoiding cleaning house, then that may require more work.
Manipulative, not necessarily smart. Definitely don't have to be smart to be a tricky bastard.
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This is not a secret. If the man has insufficient wit to add to his repertoire of 'skills' by helping with cleaning then he probably needs throwing out the gene pool, not keeping in it.
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Mine leaves the sponge in the sink, every time, and it's always in the one spot with water and the food he didn't clean out. I have to throw it out
If Rabia Chaudry’s name sounds familiar, it might be because she’s the author of the New York Times bestselling book Adnan's Story. She has also amassed quite a following on Twitter where almost 202K users are engaged in what she has to say and, luckily for us, share their own funny and genuine stories. The post in question, which has received over 19K likes, proved that couples all over the world get peeved off by the most foolish things.
Hundreds of replies on this thread had to do with household tasks not being completed correctly. Well, at least in their partner's eyes. But whether you’re in a meaningful relationship or decided to tie the knot, sharing a space together is bound to be at least a bit of a challenge. At the bare minimum, you’ll have a partner that tells you you never fold the socks right.
I believe some decorative plastic fruit would solve this problem. No rotting = no more buying fruit.
When you decide to be with one person for a long time, it's only natural for the quirks you found sweet at the beginning of the relationship to irritate you as time flies. But those little habits sure have a way of blowing up into a major argument or at least something you always have at the back of your mind.
But not all fights are created equal. While some are more severe and worth talking through, others are downright ridiculous and illogical. "Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'" licensed relationship therapist Dr. Jason N. Linder wrote in Psychology Today. "This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselves."
We have a TV series about these people: Help, my husband is a handyman.
"Focusing on the content of arguments (i.e who forgot to mail the important package) misses the forest for the trees. What fights are really about is the emotional safety in a relationship, partner's subjective sense of the other’s caring from them (or being there for them), and fear that they will get hurt."
He explained that getting to what’s underneath leads us to the cause of arguments and relationship distress. "Partners need to learn to reach out to each other with those feelings such as sadness about the disconnection, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or fear of rejection.”
Unfortunately, it might be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that fighting with your partner is a bad sign for the relationship itself. But we all know that every single couple has had at least one or two arguments. In fact, experts say that such disagreements can also be beneficial.
"I am more worried about my clients who say they never argue with their partners,” Maryann W. Mathai, a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people heal from toxic relationships, told Bustle. "It signals passivity, emotions being ignored, or a lack of self in the relationship — all of which are unhealthy."
Next time put their laundry around the washing machine. When there are no clean clothes for them anymore, they will understand.
I can sympathize with this, as you may have water on the floor if the shower is not closed off enough, and open drawers kill shinbones.
Chores and other responsibilities are some of the most common argument topics between married couples. It’s important to distinguish, however, whether these silly quarrels are healthy or toxic for your relationship. For example, if you start nitpicking your partner about the way they wash the dishes but end up blatantly declaring you dislike the company of their parents, that’s a red flag for toxic communication patterns. When arguing, you stay focused on the topic and issue at hand, so avoid looking for opportunities to air other grievances.
Ahh... I guess I remove eggs like OP's wife... because we usually grab the carton from one end or the other, not in the front 'n' center... so the weight is evenly distributed...
Mathai explained that while it is normal to need space after a disagreement, routinely withdrawing for days at a time shows your fights could be toxic. "Researchers have shown that stonewalling, the term for withdrawing and avoidance, is a predictor of divorce," she added. "Shutting down and emotionally leaving the conversation will trigger the other partner to feel alone and overwhelmed."
"You both may have different needs or time frames to cool down after an argument, but a sign of healthy relationships is [that] couples come back to each other quickly," Mathai explained. "There is truth behind the old saying 'Never go to bed angry.'"
After all, we're all guilty of having weird little quirks that might annoy people around us. Some of these behaviors are more benign, others are pretty bizarre. But as they say, communication is key, so if you find a way to talk through them and even sometimes kindly poke fun at them, you might be on the right path.
I feel like the couples arguing over bars of soap should switch to liquid body wash. :)
omg... my dad was like this... no matter how much time he had before the family had to leave for whatever... the MOMENT we're supposed to go out the door.... he had to go to the bathroom. It was. so. odd.
Meanwhile he’s like “My wife is great, always puts gas in my car for me!”
Pretend you didn't hear that he said something and keep pretending until he speaks so you can understand him. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes to get the message home. I took me 6 weeks to teach my wife that, since I'm getting deaf, I can't hear her when she's whispering from the other side of the room.
Put it in random places. On his pillow, his dashboard, in his drawers, at a crime scene.
I've learned to preface some questions with "It's yes or no question. One-word answer only. (Fill in question)." B/c I got tired of essay answers to yes-no questions. We've gotten around it over the years, but twenty-five years ago? It'd take him ten minutes to answer "yes" or "no" or for me to work out which it was. And the question would be something like, "Do you want dessert?"
My ex said it was an "accident" when she slept with someone else. What does that mean? He tripped and his d**k fell into your vagina?
Wanna swap? I'm like that, if it's important put it away. My partner leaves everything anywhere and when he can't find it, he'd buy a new one or ask for a copy. Then leaves it anywhere and buys a third one when he can't find the previous two. I lost count of how many superglue, toothpick packs, torches, sealants and tin openers I found last time I went on a cleanup bender
I often don't close cabinets. I don't even realize I'm doing it. Sometimes I wonder if this stems from when I was young. My father was a bit of an a*****e so I used to get up earlier than him for school so I didn't have to deal with him. His bedroom was right near the kitchen, so I tried to be very quiet and didn't close cabinets.
She just needs to buy mens boxers of her own. I get it, they're comfy as.
Human presence light switches turn off after no motion. I installed in garage, walk ins, bathrooms and kitchen.
Protocol dictates that your farts should always be directed away from your partner. It also dictates that you sniff your own farts.
OOf. Mine tosses them in the sink with no thought to what might already be in the sink. We've lost so many glass dishes this way.
Looks like there could be pixies and fairies making little homes in the grass...
So, take an extra 5 seconds to check the counter and wipe up the excess water...
I'd like to see an inventory of all towels and bed linens in the house before commenting.
hey, that's what my sink looks like everytime I do the dishes!
His plate is set before him, then mine in front of me. He will have cut into his dinner and have a fork of his food ready for me to try before I've gotten mine started. Drives me crazy. AT LEAST LET ME HAVE A BITE OF MY OWN FOOD BEFORE YOU DEMAND I HAVE SOME OF YOURS. He has gone so far as to keep the pepper out of my reach to make sure I can't try my food before he passes me some of his.
For some people it's the only place where they can get some R&R without someone constantly nagging them.
Dirty dishes do NOT go in the sink. When you fill it with soap and water, you can't see what you're sticking your hands into and you could really injure yourself.
I guess it depends on how much you value the word COAST in East Coast. I agree that Ohio is NOT on the East Coast because it is not on the coast. BUT there is neither Pine nor Apple in Pineapple so....
Yep, that's basic math. If you take a 2x2 square, the sum of the sides is 8. If you cut it in half, you have two 1x2 rectangles, and the sum of the sides is 6x2=12.
Dirty socks. He leaves his everywhere but the hamper. Stairs. Floors. Tabletops. Chairs. *top of the refrigerator*. We came to an understanding about 15 years ago (we're together about 30) taht socks left outside hampers are not to be laundered, and socks atop the fridge are *trash*. That at least got the dirty socks out of the kitchen.
He leaves clothes all over the house (except the laundry basket). If i dont clean the ones that are "dirty" he gets anoyed. But if i clean all and he considers that some "were clean" he gets anoyed as well. How am I supposed to know which ones are which? Just put the f*****g dirty clothes in the basket and the others aside. I have a drawer for my "I can still reuse" clothes. Its not rcoket science. Also he refuses to separate clothes (I used to do a normal and a delicate wash) but then he complains that his tshirts get old fast... Men!
I'm all for if they don't like the way I do the laundry, they can do their own and get mad at themselves when it's not done right.
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My mom's big one. Dad will use like 3 pans just to make breakfast and leaves for work without cleaning up after himself.
Putting the dirty dishes in the sink rather than directly into the empty dishwasher right next to the sink. Then letting said dishes pile up so that filling the dishwasher becomes a whole chore that could have been avoided if he'd put things into the dishwasher as soon as he was done with them. I love the man, but I will never understand this.
My take away from this list is that an alarmingly large percentage of adults in this world are childish little sh*ts. Likely the result of so many parents more concerned with being their kids "friend" than actually doing any parenting.
This is why I give son a weekly allowance for KEEPING his room and shared spaces clean instead of just paying him for cleaning up his messed up room.
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I must say, I'm happy I don't have to share a house with *any* of these people, either the complainers or the "complainees."
He always has "his" roll of toilet paper sitting on top of all the toilet tanks. Uses this one, even though the one on the wall is obviously within easy reach, plus I keep 4-6 rolls of spares on a little shelf also within easy reach. Why?! I always have to move it to clean the toilet. Plus it looks weird if we have guests. 20 years now. Whenever I used to ask him about it he would say "Just a mystery of life."
Don't know why, but your last sentence cracked me up! 😂
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Breadboard is always coated with crumbs and coffee grounds, with one or two dirty knives on it. He's meticulous about keeping his tools clean and organized in the garage, but what about those kitchen tools?
Yes! Breadboard is always dirty. The counter above the cat food drawer always has cat food and empty cans all over it. The counter where the coffee goes is covered in coffee. Every morning there is an empty bowl with dried up egg on the bottom next to the stove. I used to like to cook. But now I have to clean the kitchen for 2 hours if I want to cook.
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My finance puts food scraps into the sink and not the rubbish bin 😡 I have to scrape them out by hand...
Eeeee noooo, I'm so sorry! I'd break that habit fast. Nasty.
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Being single is the best thing ever!!!! Sorry, not sorry about your miserable married lives!!!!
All the comments are so negative. Just because a spouse does something that's annoying doesn't mean the relationship is toxic. Jeez people, lighten up.
It is though, why would you be with a pain in the a*s. It's simple "X bothers me" and an answer of "I don't care, stay mad", so apparently mostly men are just like that so they don't need accountability, cause its 'normal'
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Mine does a lot of outside lawn work and constantly tracks mud and mulch and dirt through the house for 6 months straight. If he does take his shoes off he puts them where I will definitely trip over them. I've broken my tailbone bc he left his shoes which are huge in the living room walkway where I let my dogs out at night. Fell so hard I heard it crack. He also drops stuff on the floor while eating and does not pick it up. I watched him do this at his moms house too. For 22 yrs! If he gets crumbs on his shirt he rakes it off on to the floor. He doesn't even know he's doing it. It's so weird. Lately he's not done any dishes at all for the past year. That's a new frustration
He also lives out of the clean clothes basket, but puts "still going to wear clothes" into it also... along with on the floor. I just push it all over to "his" side of the room if it encroaches in my territory. 30 years of marriage. Compromises all over as I can be a pain in the ass too. Damn, I love him. Clothes on the floor and all.
My mom gets very annoyed at my dad’s habit of keeping EVERYTHING. Any documents, boxes of expensive stuff that might be returned, every single piece of paper that could ever be needed again. He tries to clean it up but forgets, so she does it instead. Most recent find is two envelopes from something neatly stuffed inside another envelope. Hope those weren’t super important, cause they’re gone now. Also, he has a magnetic clip to attach all his papers too and the deal is that when the clip gets so heavy that the magnet won’t hold it up, he has to sort through it all.
When I'd b!tch at my ex for not helping clean the house his answer was alway "I pick my socks up!"
Not replacing tp roll in holder and not putting dirty dishes in dishwasher even though it is right there drives me insane!
Where to start ? He wears the same underwear for 3 days straight. He breathes through his mouth even though there's nothing wrong with his nose. He spills coffee and or jelly on EVERY kitchen surface. He's so flippin passive that he won't tell me what he wants then gets grumpy if I do or pick something he doesn't like or wants. Drives me bat s**t! We actually had an argument about him asserting himself! He actually argued with me about not arguing with me! I had to laugh. Lolz
Me: Your parents are assholes and treat us like s**t. They don't come over when they said they would, constantly criticize our every move and only hear their own voices. Hubby: But they're my family..
Stopping to stand and think (?) in the doorway of a room. Every time. Excuse me.
All this time I have been thinking that my OCD has been off the chain after the pandemic. Now I realize I'm just fine. It's just me and my adult (26yo) son, so my house rules are mine. He doesn't do stuff the way I prefer, but I just "correct" unless it is unhealthy or dangerous, then explain to him why. I have given up on his room. Disorder is his order.
Practices music (loudly) while I’m sleeping. I’ve asked him to ask first or at least check that I’m awake before he practices but he refuses because he “doesn’t want to bother me”… how tf does that make any sense?? Also, his one job around the house is to make dinner for the 2 of us because I’m chronically ill and disabled and can’t cook. If he isn’t hungry that day he just doesn’t cook. Doesn’t tell me that he’s not making dinner or ask if I want to order food, he just doesn’t do it and I only find out that we aren’t eating that day after he goes to bed (we only eat one meal a day so idk how he isn’t starving and keeps forgetting to cook)
Squishy soap lady: let him have his own soap with extra squish if he likes. Toothpaste tube lady: get him his own tube to mangle as he sees fit. For all the hamper avoidance: I have no help for you. 20 years together and he still won't use the hamper.
No matter who you’re living with (friend, boy/girlfriend, wife, husband, parent, grandparent) do NOT be a bad roommate. Always strive to be a respectful house partner.
Leaving the cordless house phone next to the charger base and letting it go dead. Or letting the batter get so low that when you answer the phone, it won't connect or beeps the while time!
Mine loves to put groceries in the cabinet sweet right? Not when the groceries are still in the bags from the store, or like he walks out of the car and ALWAYS leaves the door open, doesn’t matter if I’m a parking lot, in the middle of nowhere door is always open and I have to close the door. He also loves to take showers and somehow always misses the rug and drip water all over the bathroom as he leaves his clothes on the floor with an empty laundry basket next to him. Oh also leaves everything open wrappers on tables next to the bed you name it waiting for me to pick it up. Ugh I can relate to so many on this page.
True happiness lies in letting things go. We all do things that bother other people but the more time we spend being frustrated, the more we'll view that person as a source of frustration. Why not love them for it? For example: This silly guy keeps doing (insert meaningless thing I hate). Just one of his quirks but I love him so I love his quirks too. Once I started viewing it like that, I found myself to be much happier and less stressed. We argue a lot less now.
We have different taste in room temperature, my husband And i. He likes it way colder, but we keep our apartment on my preferable temperature. Therefore the first thing He does when he comes home Is to strip to his t-shirt And boxers. Nothing Wrong with that. Except He does this on the hallway next to coathanger, And He puts his pants on said coathanger. It's floaded with his pants, sweaters and sweatshirts, so i have nowhere to put my And our kids jackets... We have walk-in closet right next to the coathanger...
It's ok to use a bath towel more than once. Hang it over the shower curtain rod to dry and use it a few times. It's only been used to wipe water off a clean body. It's still clean. Also eliminates half the laundry loads
Feet with socks on are ok to put on sofa, dirty socks off feet are not ok left on sofa cushions.
For 15 years : Xmas = he wants to buy 10 one dollar 'gifts', I thought one ten dollar gift was better... divorced, stayed friends - he passed suddenly earlier this month... it all seems so petty now...
Leaving empty cans, more notable beer cans. In the shower, on the counter, night stand, garage, next to the garbage can. Really? Gross. I started leaving my cans laying around until he finally made a comment, then I said, hmmm 🤔 yeah I hate it when that happens.
I'm a fat lazy slob that sleeps too much because I should know how to handle my depression even though pills and therapy are not acceptable. And I don't get a choice to have lights turned on, 3 TVs on and I don't get to choose a channel. (I also don't sleep well with the TV on, but it is on and loud every night.)
You are angry at yourself for chosing these creatures to be your life partners.
Stuffing stuff into the nearest cabinet or drawer and than wanting to be praised for tidying up so well. But she gets annoyed if I cannot find something that she wants me to get for her.
Never closes cupboards, laundry next to basket, used tissue and napkins everywhere, scratches his feet on everything, squeezes toothpaste in the middle, never throws away mail EVER, files important papers in random books, nicknacks he doesn't even know what it is are on every surface-makes me scream. Believes house cleaning only needs to be done twice a year.
He won't put his clean clothes away then bitches that he doesn't have anything to wear.
The vast majority of complaints is that he does something not right, or bad. Either this thread is biased, or men and women are different? If they are different in these ways, there will be differences, where it is less shiny for her. If there are no differences, this is biased.
I think a lot of women notice more details. Obviously it’s not across the board.
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Half of these were "my husband has a different opinion than me, and that makes him stupid." The other half was laundry on the floor. I'm so glad I'm gay.
The kitchen surfaces are not shelves....they're to give us space to prep and make food on. The sides of the bath are not shelves, and certainly not ones that should have fresh loo rolls balanced on instead of replacing the old one in the holder. The wooden box at the end of the bed is not a shelf... it's a container for storing our bedding. The floor is not a shelf for worn clothing.. it's a surface for walking on. The kitchen table is not a shelf for anything you can't think of a home for right now, we shouldn't have to clear everything off it before we can put a couple of plates down. The top of the wash basket is not a shelf, the lid often needs to be lifted. Those little squares that I had lying around when you moved in? I call them coasters... they are not decoration, they ARE shelves. Little tiny shelves you can put drinks on so they don't mark the furniture. We don't row about anything really but mess and clutter is the one thing we come close to on.
Why does your rule have to be THE rule? YOU DECIDED that the kitchen counter is not a space to store stuff, and is only a space to prep food. Your spouse may have decided otherwise. Why does YOUR decision have to be THE decision?
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A lot of these are just the OP making things a bigger deal than they are or are upset that their SO doesn't do things the exact same way they do.
That's ... exactly the point of this list.... they didn't ask for legitimate things, they asked for trivial things lol
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My hubby and I always fight over who has more bed and blanket lol.
Most of these are petty. Learn to love your partner even with their flaws.
The amount of people commenting "get separate bedrooms" is concerning
Dirty socks. He leaves his everywhere but the hamper. Stairs. Floors. Tabletops. Chairs. *top of the refrigerator*. We came to an understanding about 15 years ago (we're together about 30) taht socks left outside hampers are not to be laundered, and socks atop the fridge are *trash*. That at least got the dirty socks out of the kitchen.
He leaves clothes all over the house (except the laundry basket). If i dont clean the ones that are "dirty" he gets anoyed. But if i clean all and he considers that some "were clean" he gets anoyed as well. How am I supposed to know which ones are which? Just put the f*****g dirty clothes in the basket and the others aside. I have a drawer for my "I can still reuse" clothes. Its not rcoket science. Also he refuses to separate clothes (I used to do a normal and a delicate wash) but then he complains that his tshirts get old fast... Men!
I'm all for if they don't like the way I do the laundry, they can do their own and get mad at themselves when it's not done right.
Load More Replies... My mom's big one. Dad will use like 3 pans just to make breakfast and leaves for work without cleaning up after himself.
Putting the dirty dishes in the sink rather than directly into the empty dishwasher right next to the sink. Then letting said dishes pile up so that filling the dishwasher becomes a whole chore that could have been avoided if he'd put things into the dishwasher as soon as he was done with them. I love the man, but I will never understand this.
My take away from this list is that an alarmingly large percentage of adults in this world are childish little sh*ts. Likely the result of so many parents more concerned with being their kids "friend" than actually doing any parenting.
This is why I give son a weekly allowance for KEEPING his room and shared spaces clean instead of just paying him for cleaning up his messed up room.
Load More Replies... I must say, I'm happy I don't have to share a house with *any* of these people, either the complainers or the "complainees."
He always has "his" roll of toilet paper sitting on top of all the toilet tanks. Uses this one, even though the one on the wall is obviously within easy reach, plus I keep 4-6 rolls of spares on a little shelf also within easy reach. Why?! I always have to move it to clean the toilet. Plus it looks weird if we have guests. 20 years now. Whenever I used to ask him about it he would say "Just a mystery of life."
Don't know why, but your last sentence cracked me up! 😂
Load More Replies... Breadboard is always coated with crumbs and coffee grounds, with one or two dirty knives on it. He's meticulous about keeping his tools clean and organized in the garage, but what about those kitchen tools?
Yes! Breadboard is always dirty. The counter above the cat food drawer always has cat food and empty cans all over it. The counter where the coffee goes is covered in coffee. Every morning there is an empty bowl with dried up egg on the bottom next to the stove. I used to like to cook. But now I have to clean the kitchen for 2 hours if I want to cook.
Load More Replies... My finance puts food scraps into the sink and not the rubbish bin 😡 I have to scrape them out by hand...
Eeeee noooo, I'm so sorry! I'd break that habit fast. Nasty.
Load More Replies... Being single is the best thing ever!!!! Sorry, not sorry about your miserable married lives!!!!
All the comments are so negative. Just because a spouse does something that's annoying doesn't mean the relationship is toxic. Jeez people, lighten up.
It is though, why would you be with a pain in the a*s. It's simple "X bothers me" and an answer of "I don't care, stay mad", so apparently mostly men are just like that so they don't need accountability, cause its 'normal'
Load More Replies... Mine does a lot of outside lawn work and constantly tracks mud and mulch and dirt through the house for 6 months straight. If he does take his shoes off he puts them where I will definitely trip over them. I've broken my tailbone bc he left his shoes which are huge in the living room walkway where I let my dogs out at night. Fell so hard I heard it crack. He also drops stuff on the floor while eating and does not pick it up. I watched him do this at his moms house too. For 22 yrs! If he gets crumbs on his shirt he rakes it off on to the floor. He doesn't even know he's doing it. It's so weird. Lately he's not done any dishes at all for the past year. That's a new frustration
He also lives out of the clean clothes basket, but puts "still going to wear clothes" into it also... along with on the floor. I just push it all over to "his" side of the room if it encroaches in my territory. 30 years of marriage. Compromises all over as I can be a pain in the ass too. Damn, I love him. Clothes on the floor and all.
My mom gets very annoyed at my dad’s habit of keeping EVERYTHING. Any documents, boxes of expensive stuff that might be returned, every single piece of paper that could ever be needed again. He tries to clean it up but forgets, so she does it instead. Most recent find is two envelopes from something neatly stuffed inside another envelope. Hope those weren’t super important, cause they’re gone now. Also, he has a magnetic clip to attach all his papers too and the deal is that when the clip gets so heavy that the magnet won’t hold it up, he has to sort through it all.
When I'd b!tch at my ex for not helping clean the house his answer was alway "I pick my socks up!"
Not replacing tp roll in holder and not putting dirty dishes in dishwasher even though it is right there drives me insane!
Where to start ? He wears the same underwear for 3 days straight. He breathes through his mouth even though there's nothing wrong with his nose. He spills coffee and or jelly on EVERY kitchen surface. He's so flippin passive that he won't tell me what he wants then gets grumpy if I do or pick something he doesn't like or wants. Drives me bat s**t! We actually had an argument about him asserting himself! He actually argued with me about not arguing with me! I had to laugh. Lolz
Me: Your parents are assholes and treat us like s**t. They don't come over when they said they would, constantly criticize our every move and only hear their own voices. Hubby: But they're my family..
Stopping to stand and think (?) in the doorway of a room. Every time. Excuse me.
All this time I have been thinking that my OCD has been off the chain after the pandemic. Now I realize I'm just fine. It's just me and my adult (26yo) son, so my house rules are mine. He doesn't do stuff the way I prefer, but I just "correct" unless it is unhealthy or dangerous, then explain to him why. I have given up on his room. Disorder is his order.
Practices music (loudly) while I’m sleeping. I’ve asked him to ask first or at least check that I’m awake before he practices but he refuses because he “doesn’t want to bother me”… how tf does that make any sense?? Also, his one job around the house is to make dinner for the 2 of us because I’m chronically ill and disabled and can’t cook. If he isn’t hungry that day he just doesn’t cook. Doesn’t tell me that he’s not making dinner or ask if I want to order food, he just doesn’t do it and I only find out that we aren’t eating that day after he goes to bed (we only eat one meal a day so idk how he isn’t starving and keeps forgetting to cook)
Squishy soap lady: let him have his own soap with extra squish if he likes. Toothpaste tube lady: get him his own tube to mangle as he sees fit. For all the hamper avoidance: I have no help for you. 20 years together and he still won't use the hamper.
No matter who you’re living with (friend, boy/girlfriend, wife, husband, parent, grandparent) do NOT be a bad roommate. Always strive to be a respectful house partner.
Leaving the cordless house phone next to the charger base and letting it go dead. Or letting the batter get so low that when you answer the phone, it won't connect or beeps the while time!
Mine loves to put groceries in the cabinet sweet right? Not when the groceries are still in the bags from the store, or like he walks out of the car and ALWAYS leaves the door open, doesn’t matter if I’m a parking lot, in the middle of nowhere door is always open and I have to close the door. He also loves to take showers and somehow always misses the rug and drip water all over the bathroom as he leaves his clothes on the floor with an empty laundry basket next to him. Oh also leaves everything open wrappers on tables next to the bed you name it waiting for me to pick it up. Ugh I can relate to so many on this page.
True happiness lies in letting things go. We all do things that bother other people but the more time we spend being frustrated, the more we'll view that person as a source of frustration. Why not love them for it? For example: This silly guy keeps doing (insert meaningless thing I hate). Just one of his quirks but I love him so I love his quirks too. Once I started viewing it like that, I found myself to be much happier and less stressed. We argue a lot less now.
We have different taste in room temperature, my husband And i. He likes it way colder, but we keep our apartment on my preferable temperature. Therefore the first thing He does when he comes home Is to strip to his t-shirt And boxers. Nothing Wrong with that. Except He does this on the hallway next to coathanger, And He puts his pants on said coathanger. It's floaded with his pants, sweaters and sweatshirts, so i have nowhere to put my And our kids jackets... We have walk-in closet right next to the coathanger...
It's ok to use a bath towel more than once. Hang it over the shower curtain rod to dry and use it a few times. It's only been used to wipe water off a clean body. It's still clean. Also eliminates half the laundry loads
Feet with socks on are ok to put on sofa, dirty socks off feet are not ok left on sofa cushions.
For 15 years : Xmas = he wants to buy 10 one dollar 'gifts', I thought one ten dollar gift was better... divorced, stayed friends - he passed suddenly earlier this month... it all seems so petty now...
Leaving empty cans, more notable beer cans. In the shower, on the counter, night stand, garage, next to the garbage can. Really? Gross. I started leaving my cans laying around until he finally made a comment, then I said, hmmm 🤔 yeah I hate it when that happens.
I'm a fat lazy slob that sleeps too much because I should know how to handle my depression even though pills and therapy are not acceptable. And I don't get a choice to have lights turned on, 3 TVs on and I don't get to choose a channel. (I also don't sleep well with the TV on, but it is on and loud every night.)
You are angry at yourself for chosing these creatures to be your life partners.
Stuffing stuff into the nearest cabinet or drawer and than wanting to be praised for tidying up so well. But she gets annoyed if I cannot find something that she wants me to get for her.
Never closes cupboards, laundry next to basket, used tissue and napkins everywhere, scratches his feet on everything, squeezes toothpaste in the middle, never throws away mail EVER, files important papers in random books, nicknacks he doesn't even know what it is are on every surface-makes me scream. Believes house cleaning only needs to be done twice a year.
He won't put his clean clothes away then bitches that he doesn't have anything to wear.
The vast majority of complaints is that he does something not right, or bad. Either this thread is biased, or men and women are different? If they are different in these ways, there will be differences, where it is less shiny for her. If there are no differences, this is biased.
I think a lot of women notice more details. Obviously it’s not across the board.
Load More Replies... Half of these were "my husband has a different opinion than me, and that makes him stupid." The other half was laundry on the floor. I'm so glad I'm gay.
The kitchen surfaces are not shelves....they're to give us space to prep and make food on. The sides of the bath are not shelves, and certainly not ones that should have fresh loo rolls balanced on instead of replacing the old one in the holder. The wooden box at the end of the bed is not a shelf... it's a container for storing our bedding. The floor is not a shelf for worn clothing.. it's a surface for walking on. The kitchen table is not a shelf for anything you can't think of a home for right now, we shouldn't have to clear everything off it before we can put a couple of plates down. The top of the wash basket is not a shelf, the lid often needs to be lifted. Those little squares that I had lying around when you moved in? I call them coasters... they are not decoration, they ARE shelves. Little tiny shelves you can put drinks on so they don't mark the furniture. We don't row about anything really but mess and clutter is the one thing we come close to on.
Why does your rule have to be THE rule? YOU DECIDED that the kitchen counter is not a space to store stuff, and is only a space to prep food. Your spouse may have decided otherwise. Why does YOUR decision have to be THE decision?
Load More Replies... A lot of these are just the OP making things a bigger deal than they are or are upset that their SO doesn't do things the exact same way they do.
That's ... exactly the point of this list.... they didn't ask for legitimate things, they asked for trivial things lol
Load More Replies... My hubby and I always fight over who has more bed and blanket lol.
Most of these are petty. Learn to love your partner even with their flaws.
The amount of people commenting "get separate bedrooms" is concerning
