“Welcome to the Alpha Zone”: 40 Absurdly Masculine Takes That Are So Bad, They Had To Be Shamed On This Twitter Page (New Posts)
Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.
From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.
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It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.
Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."
By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').
There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.
A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.
Well, he is not totally wrong. Number one definitely is correct. Outside harvesting season there wasn't that much to do, so your average work day is probably about 6h long. 2. Vacations didn't exist, but you had so many religious holydays, that you had less work days then many people today. 3. True, but they also had considerably more room mates/house mates then you. 4.??? 5. Tricky question, if enough food is available probably true, but the chances that you have to go hungr for a few months was considerably higher than today. 6. True, but I personally like things like infrastructure and a public health system, which requires some taxes. 7. You literally lived in the SAME HOUSE as your boss, you saw them even in your free time!
Load More Replies...They worked 12 hours a day min, had no vacations or even free days (unless they could afford such), had a hut with no proper isolation or heating except fireplace, what the hell is even "T", ate leftovers of what was taken from them, could have had tax on food (where 90% of what they yearned was taken away for free), could be physically abused with it being considered normal and even killed for making a bad joke.
I thought, what's a peasant vacation? Did MedievalAirBnb have a place you could park your sheep?
Load More Replies...The levels of plasma testosterone of 19 young male homosexuals (Kinsey group VI) were found to be significantly higher (p < . 01 ) than those of 20 strictly heterosexual men matched for average age. https://ajp.psychiatryonline.org › doi
Listen hear Twat, it seems that you don't know what"medieval" means. How about we introduce you to famine, the black death, lack of hygiene and medical knowledge. Or to the concept that talking crazy like you just did could have gotten you burned as a witch. What? Your name is not "Twat"? Could have fooled me.
Calm down. I'm sure you've made a mistake in your life mister perfect. Jeezus
Load More Replies...2 may be right, because of the many "holy days" at the time. But I guess the work had to be done, especially with the animals, whether the Church said you could rest or not... For the rest, most peasants were serfs, indentured to the land, and led lives of squalid poverty, with no rights and few freedoms.
Whether or not you were a serf and what rights you had depended very much on which country you lived in.
Load More Replies...PLEASE WE NEED TO BLOW THIS UP. IN 80 YEARS I WANT THIS ERA TO BE KNOWN AS THE DOUBLE DARK AGES
Also medieval peasants... (1) No health care. (2) No dentistry. (3) No personal hygiene. (4) Poor diet. (5) No possibility of personal growth. (6) No possibility of economic growth. (7) No possibility of intellectual growth.
More like 75% Which is what actually gave the peasants the first steps towards right and better conditions. A shortage of workers will do that.
Load More Replies...Child, sit down and watch Tudor Monastery Farm. See how you'd like to be a late 15th century farmer.
"Ate much better"?! "Paid less taxes" yes in total value no not in percentage. Only 1 and 2 are (mostly) correct, the rest is between a lot and totally off.
Load More Replies...1. all hours, day and night. 2. Dying of plague does not count 3. Unlikely en masse 4. What is T in this context? 5. Ten flavours of bs right there 6. Window tax, ignoring rates of living etc 7. Just his enforcers. Like the gestapo really
My good sir, have you heard about any of the sickness that were prevalent the dark ages?
Aw yes, the wonderful times of living in villages with s**t and p**s in the street and dying of dysentery and the plague.
And WHAT century do you recon this was. Certainly NOT before 1900's
Yay! Feudalism! It's a great way to stay in shape! What happened to put an end to such a perfect system? Probably Obamacare /s
Times change....did you know that we now have a thing called cell phones? That we more options of jobs? That we don't have to ride a horse or donkey everyone? That we have things that can transport people to state to state and even to different countries in a flying thing called an airplane? Did you know!! That....we now have these things called shuttles that can fly into space?! Omg I know right so awesome,oh and guess what? We have medicines now that can eradicate a modern day black plague!!!!
All for the low, low price of dying at 22 y/o/a from a tooth infection!
Died of far more communicable diseases than you. Bathed way less than you. Dealt with more (literal) c**p than you on a daily basis. ...I could go on, but I think this makes my point
Can someone please call The Doctor to take this idiot back to Medieval times leave him there.
I mean, they also loved to the "old age" of about 40 and were literally OWNED, among other things, but SURE!?
Most lived much longer. People weren't old at 40 (no more than we are today). It has to do with the AVERAGE life expectancy. Many infants and children died of disease we can treat or prevent now but those who survived childhood had good chances to live to 60-70 yr old.
Load More Replies...And they also died between 35-40. If you want to live that life, go right ahead.
That's not entirely true. That's the average death rate. But that counts the enormous amount of children and babies deaths. But if you were lucky enough to survive the first critical years it was entirely possible that you might reach your seventies.
Load More Replies...The first two are true, with caution. The amount of hours and days worked increased with the industrial era. But it was highly dependent on where and who.
Load More Replies...Oh no, they definitely didn't eat better nor enough food. In the 14th century dying of starvation was the norm (and let's not even mention the lovely continuous plague epidemics) and those who had access to food were severely malnourished. Growth problems, like rickets, were very common, as were deficiency diseases, like pellagra or scurvy. People definitely didn't have a lot to eat either: if you were caught hunting in someone else's property, you were sentenced to death. But when the other option was dying of starvation you were willing to risk it. So no, those were not simpler and better times.
Load More Replies...It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s
The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions.
"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.
Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.
LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.
Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."
demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.
Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education
Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.
Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."
"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."
Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.
This one is actually quite funny. I read this as, " I, a very masculine man,do not interact with women because I'm scared of my wife ."
As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.
F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.
Note: this post originally had 56 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies...I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies...I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies...Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies...i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies...I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies...I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies...I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies...Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies...i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies...I've lost about 100,000 brain cells reading this. It's in equal measure infuriating and terrifying people like that exist
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?