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Full disclosure, dear Pandas: some of us may not have ever tried online dating and might keep getting ‘swipe left’ and ‘swipe right’ confused whenever someone’s talking about it. But as we understand it, Tinder is some kind of fancy wood-finding service (you’d better believe that this pun is intended) on those fancy futuristic devices people call ‘smartphones.’
You meet someone you like, you drink some coffee, and then you get married, right? Correct us if we’re wrong, but that’s exactly what’s happened to a lot of our friends! One thing’s for sure, though—dating is tough, especially when you have to learn about your potential soulmate through a magical digital mirror that only shows you their good sides.
However, there are some hilarious and entertainingly awkward (and sometimes even downright creepy) moments to be had while chatting on Tinder, that’s for sure. Check out our collection of best Tinder conversation starters and funny things to say on Tinder, upvote the ones you enjoyed the most, and share an interesting online dating story in the comments.
Are you in the mood for some more digital romance? Funny Tinder conversation starters? Or perhaps you’re looking for other funny things to say on Tinder? Either way, we’ve got you covered. Instead of the traditional flower bouquet and a box of chocolates, have yourself some hilarious Tinder puns!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My Greatest Magic Trick Revealed
Persp Gold 4 years ago
this is a good opener anyway, you get to see if the person is creative or dull af
To understand the world of online dating better and to learn how to determine whether somebody on Tinder is genuine, we reached out to the founder of The Modern Man, relationship expert Dan Bacon.
According to him, online and traditional dating are both fundamentally different ball games, texting is easy but can deceive us, and while it’s important to be playful and attention-grabbing on Tinder, it shouldn’t be overdone as it “can come across as try-hard or desperate, which results in rejection just like in real-life interactions.” You’ll find his insights below, so be sure to read on.
RELATED:
#2
I Wonder How Fast She Will Unmatch
Enea 4 years ago
What's wrong with laughing about this joke? There's like three generic responses, including this one (the other ones being "onion ninjas are at it again", and"no, I'm not crying, you cry!"). For one, it's boring, but most of the time, the context isn't right.
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Cheesy69 4 years ago
I am so sorry to admit this, and I know that I’ll have to suffer a lot of blame, but I sleep in socks.....😬
Marco Conti 4 years ago
Well, I sleep with socks on even in summer. Why you ask? For some reason I have very sensitive skin and it feel uncomfortable to touch the skin in my feet. I will take my socks off on a date if a) it ends up in bed, b) there is enough time for all clothing to come off. However, being married, the last time this happened was a century ago. Actually, in a different millennia altogether, so it's not an issue that keeps me up at night, but sensitive skin does.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
I smother my feet in moisturising creams and so wear socks so it stays on my feet.
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Laura Nicole 4 years ago
Hahaha hilarious... I sleep in socks. My opening line is usually "Are you a flat earther?", they usually respond with a giggle and a "no, are you?" to which I reply "I don't know there is group called the the flat earth society and they are located all around the globe"... Then I'll proceed to ask them if they are antivaxers or if pineapple belongs on Pizza (which it does) and if they put up with my weirdness and haven't run away thinking I'm a nut job then they are obviously worth talking too.
Slopra 4 years ago
Ah! You employ the Potential Mate Screening Trifecta! Good lass!
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#3
I've Peaked. I Can't Top This
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
On a random note: One of the benefits of tiny houses is that you can only have small talk.
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
And little arguments with your spouse. If you're ever arguing and she steps outside though, you're doomed.
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#4
I'm Doing This
Anja Schmidt 4 years ago
only accepted as long as the roommate didn´t play his part in room cleaning for a looong time ... bad asss XD
#5
What Are The Chances?
Persp Gold 4 years ago
if not a good match, we at least just witnessed a solid friendship born
niki.bordeaux 4 years ago
I once met a guy saying to his friend "look, there's my future ex-girlfriend", nodding in my direction and for me it was like, great, I know you're an idiot without talking to you. Do people really find that saying witty or funny?
Shinomi Chan 4 years ago
It was made in Heaven. This is a match. Whether it'll turn into a murder story... To be seen.
#6
This Couldn't Have Gone Any Better Than It Did
#7
"Good Luck"
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Puts on Count Vizzini thinking cap:... But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of girl who would put their number first or second? Now, a clever girl would put their number first, because she would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given first. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the first number. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the second number. Girl in Black Scribble: You've made your decision then? Vizzini: Not remotely. Because 10-digit numbers were invented in Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the first number. Girl in Black Scribble : Truly, you have a dizzying intellect. Vizzini : Wait till I get going! Now, where was I? (And we both know how this ends!)
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
That's not an issue though? Call and if dad answers you can hang up, or say you're calling about extended car insurance or wrong number, etc. and then call the other number.
John C 4 years ago
does that still work these days with cell phones? last time I *67 / *69 was in the 90s
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fainasKeturatis 4 years ago (edited)
I am an adventerous person. It's either a date or drinking buddy.
#8
I'm Probably Gonna Get Unmatched
Navigating Beyond Funny Tinder Messages
If you want to find out whether somebody is telling the truth and generally being genuine on apps like Tinder, then it’s vital that you don't just stick to chatting via text. “Get to a phone call, or video call as quickly as possible, so you can actually get a feel for each other and see if you click.”
“At the very least, send voice texts back and forth so you can determine each other’s level of interest, as well as personality type and temperament,” relationship expert Dan explained that you should put in the extra effort and go for various different types of interactions.
And while just texting back and forth can seem like a fun and easy way to communicate, it can be deceiving. As a result, this can lead to someone’s feelings getting hurt because they’ve interpreted their potential partner’s words or emojis in a way that’s far too removed from reality.
“A man might send a woman a text and she then replies with a laughing emoji, with tears of laughter. He thinks he’s doing well, but in reality, she is rolling her eyes and thinking that his joke was lame. He might then continue using that type of humor and causing a disconnect between himself and her,” Dan said. He reiterated that phone calls, video calls, or even those humble things we call voice texts can be a way to solve this conundrum.
#9
Her Friend Was Right
Calypso poet 4 years ago
Yesterday I took a great video of the tufted tit mouse that visits daily. I'm up for booby and duck pics anytime.
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Bird lover 4 years ago
Recommended, Search on youtube: Zefrank1mating dance of the puffin.
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#10
Ladies And Gentleman. We’re In
#11
Got Blocked Lol
RandomBeatlesFan 3 years ago (edited)
I mite bee bad at speeling, but your gramer isn't so good...
#12
My Tinder Is A Joke Account Where I Tell People Train Facts And Answer Questions About Trains. I Research Railway History
Evelína Zlá 4 years ago
Hahaha... I was thinking the same - or the guy Sheldon met in the train...
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#13
Damn
Airis Malfoy 4 years ago
*hands out a chilled water/alcohol bottle* "apply to burnt areas" ( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)
#14
I Made A Tinder Funny, How'd I Do?
Sinkvenice 4 years ago
Well that's spooky. I'd just finished watching Commando about ten minutes before I read this and there's a still from the beginning of the movie.
#15
Looking Through My Phone And Found This Gem Of A Tinder Conversation
YoChicken 4 years ago
Right I kept thinking one of them is going to break but
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#16
Automated Tinder Response
#17
Improvise. Adapt. Overcome
Dating Platforms Increase Women’s Standards for Men
“Online dating is more superficial and based on appearances compared to real-world interactions, which is more about how both people feel when interacting with each other in person,” the founder of The Modern Man put it bluntly.
What’s more, online dating completely changes the ‘positions of power’ that men and women are in. In short, the relationship expert noted that online dating seems to favor women while traditional dating favors men. Dan said that when it comes to Tinder and similar apps, women are ‘in the position of power’ because of the large amount of attention they’re getting from many men who want to be their match. According to him, this can then lead to women ‘significantly’ increasing their standards.
“A woman who would normally accept an average, confident, good guy in real life, will often have very high standards and only accept very good-looking men on Tinder, or online dating. This results in millions of average-looking men wasting their time trying to match up with women who just aren't going to give them a chance. It also results in some women being able to date very good-looking men who normally wouldn’t be interested,” he said.
#18
I Think I Found The One
Niffler_13 4 years ago
Bell Curve. Statistically super smart parents do not have super smart children, and often result in disappointment.
Load More Replies... Faith Nicole 4 years ago
What the hell is that equation?! I'm not math smart so ya. Perfect match these two are
#19
Crocs Are Finally Good For Something
natie marie 4 years ago
bored panda censoring swears made me think person A suggested they defecate together
Steve Haigh 4 years ago
I am struggling to work out what else it could be!
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Emperor Kitten 4 years ago
You know when I'm down to just my crocks what time it is... It's business time.
Doris Culverhouse 4 years ago
This made me laugh for some reason. really laugh not just smile.
#20
I Can't Take Compliments
#21
An Eye For An Eye, I Guess
Bambi_da1andonly 4 years ago
Hehehehehehehehhehehehehehehehehehehehheheheehhehehehehehehehehhehehehhehehehehehhehehehehehe I get it-
#22
Am I Doing This Right?
#23
How Did You Know I Was A Painter?
Fickle_Pickle 2 years ago
Ok dude that’s just too much. I wouldn’t find this cute nor sweet or romantic at all. I would be creeped out. This guy is seriously giving me stalker vibes for the amount of time he spent learning what he can about her.
#24
Matched With The First Boy I Ever Kissed, I Wasn’t Sure If He Would Remember
#25
Swing And A Miss
Tracey Hirt 4 years ago
A group of ravens is called a Murder. Every time I see only two ravens, I think to myself, "Attempted Murder!"
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
Thought crows were murder and ravens an unkindness.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago (edited)
Here's something I'll bet you didn't know - Mary, Queen of Scots, had a croquet mallet made from the horn of a Narwhal. ALSO, the horn of a Narwhal isn't really a horn at all - it's more of a giant tooth that grows out of its forehead. I know, right?
#26
Well I Got A Response
Men Tend to Use Tinder Conversation Starters More
“With traditional dating, average-looking men can enjoy the position of power because almost all men are afraid to approach and talk to women in real life. When an average-looking man has the confidence to approach and talk to a woman in real life, as well as the ability to flirt and create a spark during a conversation, he will find that many of the single women he meets show interest and give their phone number,” Dan detailed how different traditional dating is from its online equivalent.
“In some cases, a pretty woman who would never be interested in him via online dating or Tinder, can fall in love, marry and start a family with him, all from him having the courage to walk up and say hello to her in person.”
However, there appears to be a crisis of courage in modern society. Dan pointed out that most guys don't have the courage to walk up to someone in person and talk to them, so they choose to go down the path of online dating. And, while that’s easier, the competition’s also far bigger. “They end up competing with tens of thousands of other men for the same woman on online dating [apps] or Tinder,” he said.
“Many guys spend years trying to get a match via online dating when they could get a match in real life in a matter of minutes or hours if they just had the confidence to approach and ability to flirt and create a spark,” the relationship expert hinted that online dating shouldn’t be used in isolation but perhaps as a supplement to traditional dating which requires more effort and, well, courage.
#27
Gotta Admit I Felt Pretty Creative For That One
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
Dang. Clever. Reminds me of the girl named "Le-a" and her mom was getting all peeved off in the news because teachers could never pronounce it saying Leah, Le-uh, Lee, but the mom was quoted saying "how can't they read her name? It's Ledasha. That dash don't be silent!"
Aria Whitaker 4 years ago (edited)
It is also a pretty old, racist, urban myth "joke" ..... https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/le-a/
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#28
The Beard Stays, But You Can Leave
Ethan Ruppert 4 years ago
I’m browsing this page for good pick-up lines, and this is one of my favorite
#29
Simon Says
Marissa Taylor 4 years ago
i'd go with the first. if stuff went down you can blame the other guy casue of the dirty ya'll got on em
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#30
Tinder Delivers
Calypso poet 4 years ago
I remember this, it happened near me. They actually met up because everyone kept bugging them after it went viral. believe they got along but just friends.
François Carré 4 years ago
Looks like 1860's version of Tinder, can't wait for the telegraph line to cross the continent so that they can communicate faster.
Ileana Sky Aviles 4 years ago
I guess I'm all for instant gratification as I won't survive this!
Holvnn Olive Ntivuguruzwa 4 years ago (edited)
Plan for meet: Nov 10, 2021 hello Michele just reached the restaurant. May 4, 2022 hey Josh where are you sitting?
#31
I Think I’m Getting The Hand Of This Now
Shinomi Chan 4 years ago
*feels kinda giddy about their lovely flirting technique, but decides not to make it too obvious*
#32
The Pick Up Line With A 99% Success Rate
#33
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Calypso poet 4 years ago
"I'm bad at everything." Hmmm, I think I may need to check my husband's phone...
#34
Definition Of Perfection? I Think Yes
Calypso poet 4 years ago
Sometimes I'm disappointed I met my husband before texting and online dating! I could have had some fun! I have to explain memes to him. Twitter is a confusing place for him. It's like secret code to him.
#35
Psychic Powers
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago (edited)
Family last names befuddle me. Sure the Bakers were likely bakers, Carpenters were, well Carpenters. Smiths, obvious. But what about Mr. Dickenson? That's a family I wouldn't want to grow up in.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
An old Norman name, son of Diccon which was the diminution for the parent name Richard.
Load More Replies...To Break Up or Make Up: Relationship Advice From Dan
We had a chat with relationship expert Dan, the founder of The Modern Man project, about the ups and downs of relationships and what to do if you’re sitting on the fence about breaking up. He explained that every situation is unique, however, if you feel like your relationship is in trouble, you should try to find the reasons why you seem to be having issues.
“It really depends on why you are on the fence about breaking up. If you’re temporarily feeling that way after a fight, or a problem that occurred in the relationship [or if] you feel that way all the time, or very often,” relationship expert Dan said that you shouldn’t make rash decisions if your problems can be solved and if your feelings of doubt are only temporary.
#36
Dammit Karen
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
She'll demand to see your teacher next, for spelling infractions.
#37
Thankful
Calypso poet 4 years ago
Was that you? We would not have known. I know 23 people named Ryan, only know the last name of 2, you're not either.
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#38
That's What They Mean, Right?
Deborah B 4 years ago
She's toxic, will be lovely in front of your parents, but at home there will be screaming, verbally abusive, smashing things, meltdowns because you got a text from your colleague Francis.
#39
Perks Of Being My School’s Mascot
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
"Bald" would have been more in character. There's horned owls (AKA Eagle owls), but no horny eagles...
Rabbit Carrot 4 years ago
I’m guessing he’ll be staying unfulfilled for a while yet with a desperate response like that.
#40
We’re In Boys
#41
Love Finding Girls That Share The Same Hobbies
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
A sense of humor is super important to many guys. This is a great way to check if you have a girl that you can laugh with.... plus the dark sense of humor girls are more likely to be a blast to be around.
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Belandriel 4 years ago
That is definitely not true. It depends on your goal.
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#42
Hello, You're Not Tall
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
You can figuratively s**t on men because of their height, but not on women because of their weight.
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
The human(e) consensus is however, don't on either.
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Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
For the same reason as always : for evil's sake.
Load More Replies... Vicky Z 4 years ago
I don't get the comment.... you aren't hot enough to have this shitty personality? Cause if you are super hot you can be shitty? Wtf?
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
It is a reference to the fact that good looking people are always loved, praised, liked and forgiven by everyone despite being douchebags. Also, Tinder is only about sex, so personality does not matter if you are fuckable.
Load More Replies... Sinkvenice 4 years ago
I'm amazed that so many chicks immediately deny men under 6ft. If men deny women because they're too fat, they get called all sorts of horrible things. At least they can lose weight, men can't grow taller.
#43
He Didn’t Even Get My Joke
Scotland's-Favorite-Gay 4 years ago (edited)
the difference between; "let's eat, Grandma" and "Let's eat Grandma."
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#44
Awwwwweeee
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
Wonder how many times a day there is someone writing 'burn' in Bored Panda?
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Turning Relationship Challenges Into Strength
Dan said that difficulties in relationships can be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship: “You need to understand that overcoming problems together as a couple can make you closer, stronger, and more committed if you approach it correctly.”
“If wanting to break up is a feeling that you have all the time, or very often, then that person isn’t the one for you,” relationship expert Dan said that good, strong relationships have to be clear and unambiguous. If you can’t decide how you feel about someone, then perhaps, it’s time to move on.
“When a couple loves each other and truly wants to be with each other for life, they won’t be on the fence about it. It will be as clear as day for them that they want to be with each other and no one else, so breaking up won’t even seem like an option to them. It will almost seem laughable because they know they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else as much as they want to be with each other,” he told Bored Panda.
According to Dan, getting temporarily annoyed at one another in a relationship isn’t the same as the relationship breaking down. “If they happen to have an argument or experience a problem in the relationship, they might temporarily feel a bit annoyed at each other, but they’ll both be willing to fix it, grow and make the relationship better from then on,” he said. “That’s what the happiest, most in love couples do.”
#45
That’s A Big L My Friend
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Ever considered who programmed autocorrupt? A lonely sun-deprived and eventually incel programmer...
MantisGirl15 4 years ago
Autocorrect once changed the word 'autocorrect' to autocucumber which isn't even a word. True story, now an inside joke with my friends XD
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Dingo Person 4 years ago
Hey, at least the person looked at their texts again and saw what happened🤣
#46
I’m Impressed How Quickly I Came Up With This Response
Demi Zwaan 4 years ago
I had to Google what a 'me anie' was. I didn't realise it's just 'meanie' :D
Equine_Ravenclaw_Directioner 4 years ago
I didn't understand until I read this comment! Thanks!
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Axolotl King 4 years ago
;-; is it sad I make that joke about my name all the time (but I'm not that person from the screenshot)
#47
I'm Proud Of You
Scagsy 4 years ago
I have never really understood this 'daddy' thing. Is it normal to fantasize about having sex with your father? Somebody please explain to this out-of-touch dimwit. Thanks in advance!
Keyrstin Davis 4 years ago
It's not actually about a person's father for almost anyone who says it though I'm sure there's a couple people out there...😐. For most it's either a mood setter for rough sex or a way of showing there partner as being nurturing and protective. It was commen for a very long time actually without any judgement for a woman to call her husband her dad/daddy (not just after having children because that's what the kids call him) but because in a lot of ways especially traditionally your the husband would take on caring for you in the same way physically. It's about nurture and trust typically when it comes to sex and not actually thinking about your dad ew I'm sure there's smaller reason here or there but this is the main one in my experience.
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NeonDisco 4 years ago
I'd honestly rather hear 'who's ur daddy' than 'who's ur Mommy'........... The latter just sounds 100% more sick to me, I'd be floppier than a wet sombrero if anyone said either though.
Distinguished Gentleman 2 years ago
i agree 100% but oedipus had no problem with it tho
Load More Replies... Shinomi Chan 4 years ago
Despite everything. The only person you should ever call "Daddy." Is your actual DAD.
Michelle Otto 4 years ago
I literally get a picture of my dad in my mind when I hear the word. How is saying that sexy to anyone? *cringe*
ana valentina marin canto 4 years ago
I believe it is related to family or well... Daddy issues, i do find it cute and hot because i have fatherly issues, and i agree with Keyrstin, it when your partner is more nurturing amd sweet
Beans 4 years ago
Yeah. And Milf is just as weird as a term, it's a similar thing.
Load More Replies... #48
Was Swiping At The Dispensary When I Looked Up And Saw The Girl I Was About To Swipe On
Bobert Robertson 4 years ago
He's dressed like he just skydived into the dispensary. Skydove? Skydived. Just did some skydiving and ended up there.
#49
She Just Killed Me
#50
Not A Meteorologist
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Why does Theresa have two heads? Is one saying encouraging things and here we got the other, discouraging one?
Popular Questions About Navigating Relationships on Tinder
What Are Some Funny Things to Say in Your Tinder Bio?
Here are some examples of funny Tinder one-liners that you can use or modify for your bio:
- I’m on Tinder to make friends the same way I’m on PornHub to see the plumber repair the sink.
- You can’t choose your father, but you can choose your daddy—Aristotle.
- I like my partners like I like my coffee. Hot and bitter.
- I’ll treat you the way Kanye treats Kanye.
What Should I Say to My Tinder Match?
Start off strong by using funny Tinder conversation starters that showcase your quirky personality, sense of humor, and interest in them. Here are some examples of funny Tinder conversation starters that you can use:
- I’m not sure if you’re a dream or a reality, but I’m not taking any chances. Wake up!
- I just got out of a bad relationship. It was with my phone company.
- You look so familiar. Do you have a twin, or do you just look like all my fantasies?
- I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.
- I’m not here to play games. Unless it’s Scrabble or Monopoly.
#51
Humble Brag
#52
Her Bio Said That She Loves Debating
#53
Who Doesn't Like A Good Opener?
#54
Hiking
RandomBeing 4 years ago
See if I got a tinder I would actually be telling the truth. I FRIGGIN LOVE HIKING.
#55
Was Immediately Unmatched. I Am Proud Of My Joke Though
#56
Poor Marissa. Never Underestimate Deceptively Emotional Sonnets
Scagsy 4 years ago
This would have been significantly better if the poor guy had spelt the girl's name right. 'A' for effort. 'C' for execution.
A Head 4 years ago
To be fair, a sonnet only has 14 lines, so I'm giving an A+ for execution.
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LILLIAN BREAUX 2 years ago
I don't get it or the word. Can someone help me (i'm only 11 so i kinda don't understand)
Skater Chick 2 years ago
he is telling marissa to send some...attractive pictures of herself
Load More Replies... #57
Face Ride?
M O'Connell 4 years ago (edited)
My largest personal road-block to dating is that my bed time is 8:30PM, because I get up at 4AM for work.
Load More Replies... #58
Really Love Crabs, Man
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Ah, someone else who lies awake wondering about the mystery of carcinization... https://xkcd.com/2314/
#59
Jailbait
#60
The Dream
#61
Works 60% Of The Time, Every Time
#62
Ironic
#63
Sliiiiiide To The Left
Bender Bending Rodríguez 4 years ago (edited)
Say it with me folks. Legally blind is not the same as physically blind. Now say it louder for the folks in the back. LEGALLY BLIND IS NOT THE SAME AS PHYSICALLY BLIND. So a person could be registered legally blind and see but with extra effort and help of many things in addition to prescription glasses like magnifying glasses, zoom in to max to name a couple. Legally blind people are able to live their life fine without help of guide dog. Of course this will vary depending on severity of eye sight loss. Source: Being parent of registered legally blind child.
#64
We're Kate And Nate And We Think We're Pretty Great
#66
Her Profile Said She Wouldn't Date Anyone Who Would Split The Bill
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
I think there is a word for people who date when they are given money...
#67
We Were Talking About Avatar The Last Airbender
#68
Why I Shouldn’t Be On This App
#69
I Hate These Apps
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
I don't think they clash, she just assumed she had exempt status.
Load More Replies... #70
Please Don’t Start Your Conversations Like This
#72
Insert Punchline
#73
This Did Not Steer The Conversation In The Right Direction
#74
I Woke Up And Chose Violence
Ciara Stone 4 years ago
Italy would lose their s**t, falling into a civil war over the last bit of ingredients to make it
#75
I Was Proud Of This One
#76
It Said In Her Bio That She Was A Sales Rep
#77
So Does This Mean I Pass?
#78
Leo Season Is Cancelled
#79
She Didn't Respond
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Or as Paul McCartney said, "I'm the eggman! I'm the walrus! Coo-coo ke-choo!!" but that doesn't help much either.
Dark Pearl 4 years ago
And as Lil Nas X says, 'I wanna feel on your ass in Hawaii', but that's way too direct
#80
Recently Got Back Into Tinder. She Unmatched Me
Chewie Baron 4 years ago
I remember years ago when I was at school, we had a joke that went: what did you do last night? I babysat. It's cruel to sit on babies. I know,, so I stood on them.
#81
Surprisingly, I’m Still Single
#82
Fruit Snacks?
#83
I'm Up There With Zac Efron
Dark Pearl 4 years ago
Everyone knows Ryan Reynolds and Paul Rudd are vastly superior.
Load More Replies... #84
What Is Going On Here
#86
I Know What I Want
Sleazy Weaver 4 years ago
Harry Potter is alright but I really don't understand the massive hype. Why not watch something you're both interested in?
#87
“Honesty Is The Best Policy” They Said
#88
Tinder Is A Weird Place
Dark Pearl 4 years ago
Helenium must be fun at parties. Why can't people just let others live their lives?
#89
It's Fun To Stay At The
J Rob 4 years ago
Young man, there's no need to feel down I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town There's no need to be unhappy
Jelly the Bean 4 years ago (edited)
Young man, there's a place you can go I said, young man, when you're short on your dough, you can stay there, and I'm sure you will find many ways to have a good time
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#91
Pokemon Facts
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
Okay but that pokemon fact actually makes sense. Is it true?
#92
Wait What
#98
What
#99
She Asked "What's Your Zodiac Sign" In Her Bio
Sleazy Weaver 4 years ago
Nobody wants their grandmother to have cancer... I hope...
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#101
I Think Someone Really Hot Swiped Right
Dark Pearl 4 years ago
Shrek is not hot, you insignificant trodden-on worm
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I Should Be Out Of The Hospital By The End Of The Week
#103
Death And Taxes, Amirite?
#105
Dedication
LuckyL 4 years ago
I really don't get why it's so hard for so many people. Just say the long version out loud if you're not sure
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#107
I’m A Man Of Many Qualities
Emma Byrne 4 years ago
Only for the shallow ones. Most women want dependable, honest, great hugs.
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#109
Swear I Didn’t Plan To Be This Smooth When I Woke Up This Morning
Sleazy Weaver 4 years ago
Her name is A, so they started going through the alphabet, but he put a question mark after D because he's asking if she wants his D.
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#110
That Was Quick
mulk 4 years ago (edited)
I think the girl speak chinese (country with violation of human right)... and the man response in japanese (nintendo..)
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Unnamed Hooman 4 years ago
Translation: in Chinese: “Hi!” In Japanese “Hello!”. Left was Chinese right was Japanese
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What do you think ?
Nela Rothenbach 4 years ago
I recently tried tinder. Matched with a nice and funny guy, had the funniest conversations for over a week. When we met it was like meeting my cousin or something. So disappointing 🙈
Winchester 4 years ago
It is hilarious but I have this feeling that men need to work extra to get attention and woman are like "impress me, you peasant"
Nela Rothenbach 4 years ago
I recently tried tinder. Matched with a nice and funny guy, had the funniest conversations for over a week. When we met it was like meeting my cousin or something. So disappointing 🙈
Winchester 4 years ago
It is hilarious but I have this feeling that men need to work extra to get attention and woman are like "impress me, you peasant"
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