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Guy Shocked GF Rejected His Proposal As He Thought Everything Was Fine, Internet Points Out Red Flags
Messing up an anniversary for a long-term relationship is a classic rookie mistake, particularly when your partner has already given you a pretty good idea of what they like and dislike. But never put it past someone to find new ways to disappoint.
A man asked the internet if he was wrong for wanting his girlfriend to cook their anniversary dinner instead of him taking her out. On the one hand, she was, allegedly, an incredible cook, on the other hand, she had already stated she didn’t want to be his personal chef. After looking through everything people online told him, he talked to her and then shared an update.
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Having a partner who can cook is normally a blessing
Image credits: guyswhoshoot/Envato (not the actual photo)
But one man thought this was enough to not even go out for their anniversary
Image credits: Iakobchuk/Envato (not the actual photo)
After reading some comments, he posted a bigger edit
Image credits: bilahata/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GirlFriendRestaurant
It’s possible for there to be too much of a good thing
We have all heard the stories of people with incredible, almost superhuman talents. In a recent internet tale that went viral for all the wrong reasons, a man described his girlfriend as a culinary wizard. She could recreate lost family recipes by scent alone, identify obscure spices in a single bite, and even smell diesel on his skin hours after he had finished work. To most, this sounds like living with a sensory superhero. To her boyfriend, however, it sounded like a great way to save money on dinner. His story serves as a cautionary tale about entitlement and the dangerous habit of turning a partner’s passion into a household utility.
Image credits: levinajuli/Envato (not the actual photo)
The core of the issue began when the boyfriend decided that because his partner was such a gifted cook, there was simply no point in going out to eat. He viewed her talent through a lens of efficiency and cost-saving, rather than appreciation. This is a classic example of how entitlement creeps into a relationship. When we stop seeing our partner’s efforts as a gift and start seeing them as a standard service, we begin to erode the foundation of the partnership. Research from the Gottman Institute suggests that the most successful relationships are built on a culture of appreciation rather than a ledger of demands. When one person feels like their contributions are expected rather than celebrated, the emotional connection begins to fray.
One of the most telling parts of the story was the girlfriend’s plea to go to Olive Garden just because she liked the red sauce. To a food genius, this wasn’t about the quality of the pasta, it was about the experience of being served. The boyfriend dismissed her desires as illogical, but science actually supports her side. Sensory-specific satiety and olfactory adaptation are real phenomena where a cook’s senses become dulled to the food they are preparing. By the time the meal is on the table, the person who made it often cannot enjoy it because their brain has been processing the aromas for hours. This is why a simple meal made by someone else often tastes better than a five-course feast you slaved over yourself.
Taking one’s partner for granted is a surefire way to cause tension
The boyfriend’s entitlement reached a peak when he suggested they make sushi at home for their anniversary. Her response was heartbreaking: she feared that if she learned one more skill, she would never get a real date again. This highlights a massive imbalance in what sociologists call the mental load or emotional labor of a relationship. Some research suggests that, even in modern households, the division of labor often remains skewed, leading to significant burnout for the partner carrying the heavier burden. By treating her like a private chef, the boyfriend had effectively put her on a permanent shift, turning their romantic life into a workspace.
Image credits: Ambreen/Freepik (not the actual photo)
The climax of the story arrived when the boyfriend, finally realizing he had been a jerk, took her out to a nice dinner and proposed. To his shock, she said no. It wasn’t a rejection of him as a person, but a rejection of the current terms of their relationship. She told him she didn’t want to commit to a one-sided partnership where everything happened on his schedule and his terms. This is a vital lesson in relationship reciprocity. A marriage proposal isn’t a band-aid for long-term neglect. It is a commitment to a partnership of equals. Studies on the benefits of date nights show that couples who prioritize regular, intentional time away from domestic chores report higher levels of communication and intimate satisfaction. The date night isn’t about the food, it’s about the signal that the partner is worth the effort of leaving the house and spending the money.
Taking a partner for granted is a slow-growing weed that can eventually choke the life out of a relationship. The boyfriend in this story learned the hard way that you cannot treat a human being like a resource and expect them to feel loved. Entitlement tells us that we deserve the best of our partner without having to give our best in return. True intimacy requires us to look at our partners’ talents not as things to be exploited for our comfort, but as parts of them that deserve to be protected. If your partner is a genius in the kitchen, buy them a meal once in a while. Not because they can’t make it better, but because they shouldn’t have to.
Most people thought he messed up
Later, he shared an update
Image credits: zamrznutitonovi/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: GirlFriendRestaurant
Most readers thought he was still in the wrong
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What do you think ?
Deborah Brett 1 day ago
Apologising and taking her out to dinner once, and having a heartfelt convo about division of labour and then....going back to the old pattern of expecting her to cook every night, only now with added awkwardness and you resenting that she's putting in less effort. Yeah, that's not going to fly. Dude was at breakup point, tried to salvage it with a proposal, which failed, and then it sounds like he didn't actually take any of it to heart. She basically spelled out what he needed to do, because he updated reddit with it, but it sounds like he didn't actually change. She's still cooking. He isn't. Where's the "Okay, You cook two nights a week, I cook three nights, one night we have date night and eat out, one night we order take out, how does that sound?" Where's the "Are there other areas that I'm overlooking where I'm not carrying my share of the work and mental load?" Where's the "I've called around and made a list of five different relationship counsellors with openings."
Fellfromthemoon 1 day ago
Date night = more work for one half of the couple, and the other half is the only beneficiary. The one who gains with this system doesn't understand, what the problem is. He's so dense light bends aruond his head.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 1 day ago (edited)
Ah yes, let's take her out once, propose, and get her to KEEP cooking - that'll fix everything! So glad she left him. Complete moron.
Deborah Brett 1 day ago
Apologising and taking her out to dinner once, and having a heartfelt convo about division of labour and then....going back to the old pattern of expecting her to cook every night, only now with added awkwardness and you resenting that she's putting in less effort. Yeah, that's not going to fly. Dude was at breakup point, tried to salvage it with a proposal, which failed, and then it sounds like he didn't actually take any of it to heart. She basically spelled out what he needed to do, because he updated reddit with it, but it sounds like he didn't actually change. She's still cooking. He isn't. Where's the "Okay, You cook two nights a week, I cook three nights, one night we have date night and eat out, one night we order take out, how does that sound?" Where's the "Are there other areas that I'm overlooking where I'm not carrying my share of the work and mental load?" Where's the "I've called around and made a list of five different relationship counsellors with openings."
Fellfromthemoon 1 day ago
Date night = more work for one half of the couple, and the other half is the only beneficiary. The one who gains with this system doesn't understand, what the problem is. He's so dense light bends aruond his head.
The_Nicest_Misanthrope 1 day ago (edited)
Ah yes, let's take her out once, propose, and get her to KEEP cooking - that'll fix everything! So glad she left him. Complete moron.
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