50 Of The Funniest X Posts From May, Proving That Hilarious People Should Post More

Same spirit as when they told my dad (who is blind) that he'd have to have someone with him for a particular course. They didn't say what kind of someone, so he brought another blind guy with an artificial leg for good measure. Now they have two!

This is the perfect level of A-hole that can be appreciated

Well played, sailor man. Well played.

Brilliant

Why keep it out of view thou?

I mean, I dont know, I see a great marketing opportunity right there. "So popular, it caught like wildfire".

I'd have called it "Dire Rear". :D

bless his heart

Hahahaha 🤣

...😅

As a dude this is the type of tale that makes me think, "same planet, different world" because I can't imagine a situation where I'd find myself changing pants with some guy. The sisterhood iscstrong

I used to work at a shoe store. We had clients that came in together, both missing a leg, one the left one and his friend the right leg, buying a few pairs they liked. They had met after one had put up an add.

I have this with a lady who lives on my street and she has the same summer dress as me. Hers is too big for her petite frame, mine is a little too tight for my not-so-petite frame. We could probably swap too ... if I had the courage to ask her about it!!

smooth

She's lucky. My sister had a driver's license picture that was so bad she got off from a ticket with it. She was speeding and was stopped. The policeman comes over and asks for her license. She says, "OK, but if you laugh, you can't give me a ticket." "Lady, I've seen 'em all. You're getting a ticket." He looks at her license and starts laughing. "Ok, NOW I've seen 'em all. Who did you p**s off at the DMV?" She didn't get a ticket.

Alternate take: you should *want* a terrible DMV photo, so whenever you have to show your ID, whoever is looking at it will say, "Wow, you look a lot better than your picture!"

Cruel

My passport photo is so bad that the person at immigration called two more people and I had three people stare at my face and then discuss it before they could stamp me in.

When I had to update my driver's license photo, the lady asked what I thought. I told her I looked like a bloated corpse that had floated to shore. She said, "No! You're too pink!"

YES! I could never live anywhere that has 1 of those stupid things. Nothing but a ripoff.

What is HOA?

FAAFO!

Lotekguy

Lotekguy

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We, who have been plagued by her counterparts, join you in vicarious laughter

👏👏👏👏👏

Please make sure that all pliers are kept in a locked cabinet. ;-)

It's only bad if there is no teeth growing to fill the gap.

Did she get a peek at a South Park episode?

I had a kid ask that the other day too!

Sleep with your door locked.

Correct

And lets go all the way back to first grade.

.... and when I am trying to get to sleep... and when I wake up early... literally anytime I want to be calm/relaxed. 🤣

No wonder I don’t sleep

need 'not the duolingo owl' here

this...this is me.

this is me

I think the OP has stolen my identity.