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Does seeing an incoming call on your phone screen send your body into an involuntary shudder? If so, you’re among many whose preferred mode of communication is texting. I mean, what’s not to love about it? It saves time and is more convenient, flexible, and efficient than blabbing on the phone for hours. Not to mention it’s good for keeping receipts when someone sends an out-of-this-world funny text.
Many people have taken advantage of this, recording and sharing the humorous messages they receive with others online. One place where these texts reside is the ‘Funny Texts’ Instagram account, which we scoured to compile a list of the best they have to offer for your entertainment. It’s all just a scroll away!
This post may include affiliate links.
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Spidercat 2 months ago
Or...and her me out... it's a joke that's understood by both parties and fits perfectly with their general level of banter.
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My faith in humanity has been restored after learning that the first-ever text message sent said ‘Merry Christmas.’ It happened on December 3, 1992, when Neil Papworth, a 22-year-old software programmer, sent the text message from a computer to his colleague Richard Jarvis.
At the time, Papworth was working to create a Short Message Service (SMS) for his client, Vodafone. And on December 3, 1992, he succeeded.
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ana-the-light-fury 2 months ago
If it autocorrected it to that, does that mean he uses that word a lot…???🤨
Lila Allen 2 months ago
Sometimes I think autocorrect is either drunk or messing with people. I've had some random autocorrects where I just think " when have I ever typed that word"
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Evan Connolly 2 months ago (edited)
My grandma once called my dad that. If dad had used that reply, he would not have survived my grandpa's wrath!
KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
Stepmother threatened to "sue" high school me for slander, having called her a b***h. Until I pointed out it's not slander if it's true. That escalated to her trying to hit me. That didn't work well for her either since back then I had ninja reflexes due to sport.
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A year later, with Nokia's help, the message acquired a distinctive ‘beep’ sound that signaled an incoming text. Only back then, the process was called short message service (SMS). The word ‘texting’ entered the dictionary much later in 2010. At first, messages also had a 160-character limit. That’s why many shortenings like LOL and emoticons exist—to go around this character limit.
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Lukas (he/him, it/its) 2 months ago
This reminds me of the one where the employee texts her boss in separate parts: "Hi Boss / I'm pregnant / So I need a few days leave / To talk to my boyfriend about it" and the boss is like "First can you talk to my wife?! She saw your first few messages, can't you send them all at once?!"
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 2 months ago
Believe it or not, at one time, there was a limit to the amount of characters you could have in text messages.
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Even though it was a groundbreaking invention, text messaging didn’t take off for years due to a lack of handheld keyboards. When that hurdle was out of the way, the new habit quickly spread. Now it’s hard to imagine living without something that is a big part of our daily lives, which was created 33 years ago.
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PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
I have two phones 😂 it happens - totally not a drùg dealer, but one doesn’t work as a phone, so I use it as a camera and for games etc
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SMS creator Neil said, “In 1992, I had no idea just how popular texting would become, and that this would give rise to emojis and messaging apps used by millions. I only recently told my children that I sent that first text. Looking back with hindsight, it’s clearer to see that the Christmas message I sent was a pivotal moment in mobile history.”
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veryvenasaur 2 months ago (edited)
One time at a climbing tournament, someone offered me a raw potato and so like a normal person I took it and carried it with me the entire competition. At the end of the competition, I ended up getting third place and was on the podium. On the podium, they asked us to hold up our prizes. First and second place acted like normal people and held up their ribbons. I however, am not normal. So I held up my potato and yelled “potato!” at the top of my lungs. There are photos of it somewhere my parents were not pleased.
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Lukas (he/him, it/its) 2 months ago
Fun fact, I did this my first time. I had my first period at my grandma's house and I was there with just my dad. My grandma didn't have any supplies, and we were a good hour away from home, so we stopped by a Dollar General to get me some pads. My dad asks if we can go into the bathroom so I can put one on, and the female cashier is very kind and asks if I need help, to which I say no, because I'm like, ten and very anxious. I don't know what I was thinking, maybe that it was like a bandaid? Because I put the pad sticky side up. This was one of the ones with the wings, too. When I got home my mom pulled me into the bathroom to check I'd put the pad on right... she and my older sisters found my mistake very amusing. I didn't, at the time, but now I think it's hilarious and don't know how I managed that. It was not very comfortable taking it off, let me assure you (if you've ever had to pull tape off of any place with hair...)
Lila Allen 2 months ago
I honestly think they should have directions on the outside because some kids don't have good adults.
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DC 2 months ago
Uh ... seriously? They put them sticky surface on their privates? REALLY? I mean ... oof. Mistakes happen. Can't blame her, but still...
Nicole Weymann 2 months ago
Yupp, mistakes do happen - but for EIGHT YEARS! She's really, *really*, *REALLY* slow!
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 2 months ago
I find it difficult to believe anyone could be so dense -_-
PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
I don’t, I was taught all this stuff way early in advance as a kid, but some kids aren’t told anything and logic would dictate the sticky needs to be on skin, to a child with no idea what’s happening to their body
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Marnie 2 months ago
Well, you don't insert it, so of course neither the sticky side nor the other side go "on" the v****a (which is internal). Sounds like she's missing a lot of education, poor thing.
Auntriarch 2 months ago
Or possibly the blocked out word is vulvā (though I hold out no great hope)
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Daniele Stewart 2 months ago
I would think u would learn this the first time that had to be painful. But 8 years!
Indeed, it was. Today, millions of Merry Christmas messages are sent every year. Instead of calling someone to wish them happy holidays (which was a preferred mode of communication back then), people now prefer sending a quick text, virtually, for any occasion and person. In fact, 40% of people favor communicating with their friends and family over text messages. Some even refuse to pick up calls altogether.
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Nicole Weymann 2 months ago
Still love the post where one twin put their sibling under "spare parts" 😂
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R Dennis 2 months ago
I have a buddy in the army and for the longest time, his ringtone was "Riding Dirty" by Chamillionaire. He is the most uptight and straitlaced person I know, so he definitely was not ridin' dirty... and he hated it and asked me to change it every time we talked. (I would be singing it when I answered.) I did not change it for years. He's a full colonel now.
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PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
I pictured my baby sister - had a dream that her husband cheated 😂
Load More Replies... Onahogar Emmanuel 2 months ago
If things don't work out between you and Ashley, can you please..
Younger people feel especially uncomfortable chatting with someone over a phone call, with some even reporting having telephobia. Gen Z, who grew up texting, can find phone calls anxiety-inducing because they induce a sense of urgency.
“It speaks to a broader fatigue with immediacy and urgency, where people have grown tired of the hassle culture and obsession with efficiency,” anthropologist Zoia Tarasova said. “People are quietly rebelling against this immediacy by taking their time to respond to those calls.”
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rabidpixie666 2 months ago
😂😂😂That's the same kind of replies I get when I try to get my husband to save me from spiders
In addition, young people feel hesitant to pick up a call because they associate it with an emergency. Something else that provokes telephobia is the fear of being judged. Experts also add that young people simply don’t have the tools and confidence to use their phones in a formal manner, which is unfortunate, as it’s quite important for their careers.
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Auntriarch 2 months ago
I've got some leftover cooked Sweden my fridge (no Windys were harmed in the making of that dish).
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Onahogar Emmanuel 2 months ago
No roaches for a month, momma will be happy depending on how much/often she likes her roaches, and how long she's been married
PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
Depends on how “cringy dad joke” obsessed the dad is 😂
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To help combat telephobia, one college even launched a class where students could tackle their fear of making or taking telephone calls. Some businesses are trying to do that as well, but it’s hard to break a habit that many young people grew up with.
“We have been doing extensive training, incentives, call observing with our veteran reps, and even hired a business psychologist,” Casey Halloran, CEO and cofounder of online travel agency Namu Travel, said. “After more than two years of this struggle, we’re nearly to the point of throwing up hands and embracing SMS and WebChat versus continuing to fight an uphill battle.”
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BrunoVI 2 months ago
I got my collection of tags... from every mattress in the house!
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Abel 2 months ago
Well there are vids of people playing wii too hard and breaking the TV with the controller...😅
Load More Replies... Squirrel Chaser 2 months ago
I cut the tags off mattresses. BEFORE the consumer disclaimer was added.
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That said, not all young people avoid phone calls like the plague. Erin Lynne Mantz, vice president of employee engagement at communications agency Zeno Group, has shared that she’s found herself on calls with Gen Zers who sound “remarkably confident on the phone, even more so than my own Gen X peers did when we were early in our careers.”
“Maybe we aren’t giving Zs enough credit,” she said.
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Tropical Tarot 2 months ago
That is why you do a factory reset on all electronics you give away or sell.
Andy Frobig 2 months ago
Would it be better if it was Aunt Betty? Or Mrs Lindstrom across the street?
Squirrel Chaser 2 months ago
I really hope this was a daughter, otherwise my question would be: did he linger?
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Thanos'Fingers 2 months ago
Yes, because some people aren't so polite. Maribel would've been so embarrassed after my response she may just go for a third number change to pretend it never happened.
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PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
It gave me memories of a website called - sms pup - used to save my aşs a lot as a teenager in the early 2000s
Load More Replies... Evan Connolly 2 months ago
I did something similar to my mum, texting her that I lost my phone. It worked.
sawyerdakraken 2 months ago
the amount of stupidity humans have these days make me want to cry
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Gebidozo 2 months ago
Knee how is in chai knees. In Jabba knees, you should say Ohio. In core Ian, it’s onion.
PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
And in peenoy it’s sally-mar. I wonder if when they go to itolly, they say cheeow
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Tropical Tarot 2 months ago
That's what the kitty said. Old PBS show about a Chinese cat.
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Squirrel Chaser 2 months ago
He said he threw it AT her head, not hit her head. No harm, no foul.
zububonsai 2 months ago (edited)
Hu? Can't decide who's shïttier, son or father. // But it doesn't seem to matter in the end because these posts sound like made up rage bait /creative writing 101 exercise/ decade old "jokes" that didn't age well, anyway.
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missingalotofsocks 2 months ago
tell me why i saw "assassins" and thought he was tryna buy mercenaries...
Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 2 months ago
Just remember this, when they select your residential elder care facility.
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PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
Is that a slim Jim style salami stick 😂 (twiggy in Australia)
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Cpt. Christan "Panda Bombero" 2 months ago
We have a third patient coming infir the Burn Ward, stat!
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Auntriarch 2 months ago (edited)
Hard lesson to learn when you're in an audio typing pool with a group of middle aged women who were brought up to believe that passing wind is a heinous social crime but passing judgement is not.
Thanos'Fingers 2 months ago
Those same middle aged women fart nonstop on every flight in an enclosed metal death tube screaming thru the air at 32k feet and minimal air quality management.
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Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
Women pass wind less noisily than men because our hips are set differently. Yes, we have gas too.
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Luke Branwen 2 months ago
Clark Kent: (Sweating) "No, just a regular salad for a regular guy like me haha"
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PeepPeep the duck 2 months ago (edited)
I dunno, cash in on the gifts and then tell mum and then play Xbox with mum whilst eating her fave snacks, screw dad 😂
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Auntriarch 2 months ago
I just choked laughing. Luckily Mr Auntriarch is in the garden so he didn't hear and I don't have to read it out to him.
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ana-the-light-fury 2 months ago
…How big was the blender?? My iPad would never fit in MY blender.
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CatKing 2 months ago
I don’t even know this looks like something an AI would have no problem figuring out
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Eugenia 🇮🇹🤌 2 months ago
And yet, writing messages without spaces was a thing back when SMSs were limited to 140 characters!
Lene 2 months ago
My mum thought you paid per letter/character the first 5 years she had a cellphone, so she made all those insane abbrevations when she texted me. Sometimes they were so insane that I just gave up and called her to ask what she wanted to say. 🤣🤣🤣
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Andy Frobig 2 months ago
Because we don't want to think about our moms talking that way
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Tammy Malone 2 months ago
One I've heard was, Why wipe your a*s if you're going to s**t again, lol!
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Lee Gilliland 2 months ago (edited)
Hallmark cards, when you care enough to send your friends the bird.
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veryvenasaur 2 months ago
So either sister is gay or “besides all the naked women” includes the second thing
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Janissary35680 2 months ago (edited)
With a little work, this could be the lyric to a C&W song.
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DeZeCrATioN 2 months ago
Shouldn't "mom" be the white texts? 🤔 Ik most of these are fake, but geez at least do it right
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KatSaidWhat 2 months ago
Yes, but she did pretty much make a massive overplay for him there.
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What do you think ?
Janissary35680 2 months ago
Very good. A lot of these could be 21st-century updates of the gags from the old Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In "Cocktail Party" and Muppet Show's "At the Dance" segments.
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
Another show needs to pick that up, I suggest Faux News.
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David Farmer 2 months ago
Most of these are fake hand me downs from a million years ago... Keep UP!
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
BP needs to stop at 50 again. Who reads 126 text messages from random people?
Janissary35680 2 months ago
Very good. A lot of these could be 21st-century updates of the gags from the old Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In "Cocktail Party" and Muppet Show's "At the Dance" segments.
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
Another show needs to pick that up, I suggest Faux News.
Load More Replies... David Farmer 2 months ago
Most of these are fake hand me downs from a million years ago... Keep UP!
Lee Gilliland 2 months ago
BP needs to stop at 50 again. Who reads 126 text messages from random people?
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