Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Mother Of Sarcasm”: 80 Funny Posts That Show Humanity Shares One Collective Brain Cell
Lately, it's hard to scroll on the internet without wondering where this crazy world is heading. And I don't think anyone has a reliable answer just yet. So what if this time, instead of making sense of it, we embrace the absurd and laugh?
The Facebook page 'Mother Of Sarcasm' is a good place to start. It's dedicated to exposing humanity's collective stupidity, as stated in the page's "About" section, and shares memes that prove we have no idea what we're doing and oftentimes aren't even trying, either. How did we get so far?
More info: Facebook
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Chich the witch 5 days ago
Something comforting being up and about when most others are unconscious.
Scott Rackley 5 days ago (edited)
And the manglers, I mean managers, are not in the building to mess stuff up
[>.<]/ 6 days ago
I had a colleague who was a night-owl and worked nights and Sundays. Both at 200% pay. Means he only worked 24 hours for a 48 hour pay out. Seems like a good idea to me!
L.V 6 days ago
I used to do that, sadly I can't anymore. My body wants me to be awake from 1pm to 6am, but also get a full day of sunlight....
Load More Replies...
joann fielding 5 days ago
Worked the swing shift for years. Grocery shopping at 11pm is so peaceful. No traffic, no fight for the shower in the morning, everyone asleep when you get home. Time enough at last to read!
Ali 6 days ago
I love the wee small hours so much, I don't want to be tired to enjoy them. I go to bed very early most evenings, so I can wake up while everyone is still asleep and play games with out anyone about.
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
I never understood why my mom used to get up 30 minutes to an hour before us. Now I'm the mom and I totally get it!
Load More Replies...
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
Graveyards gave me higher wages and left my days open to get an AS and learn to fix motorcycles
RELATED:
#2
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 4 days ago
Umm, no. 100k is always better. Unless you're expected to do some unsavory thing for it, in which case unsavory depends on perspective.
Gavin Johnson 5 days ago
Better? Maybe in satisfaction terms but once I’ve got $102,000 sat in the bank I’ll only be thinking about what it’ll buy, at that point the satisfaction is not based on HOW I got the money.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Just a thought. If you sincerely believe this, is there a 'given for free' number that would at least *match* the 2k earned ? And how do you calculate that new figure? Or are we merely discussing your opinions?
#3
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 4 days ago (edited)
Yeah. And still, we hope things will work out in the best way possible.
Load More Replies...
CloPotato 6 days ago
I used to have this and I've met that one person who made me lose a chunk of my faith. But several of my friends and myself used to be quite the a******s/dumbasses before we saw facts and arguments that changed our outlook on various subjects, and I feel like it's equally important to keep in mind.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Well, you would think that, wouldn't you ... (joke?)
Load More Replies... #4
martin734 6 days ago
That's becuase if you live in the USA and have a chronic illness, losing your job really can mean losing your life.
AnnwylTheBloodyLovesFerghus 4 days ago
Right. I worked through unspeakable pain and misery because I needed to pay rent and bills. That is what living, and working, without a safety net is like.
Load More Replies...
#5
Lee Gilliland 6 days ago
The Oscar events were always accompanied by "special presentations " at invitational events so they could watch the nominees. The entire event was always BS
L.V 6 days ago (edited)
The animated category had often been considered kiddy stuff, therefore not worth investing time into it ... Stuff like international films or short films are also often considered as "less than", hence why some skipped them. One of the reasons why the Oscars are a joke these days.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
The Oscars should offer a Peace prize. Can't imagine who'd get it, though.
Load More Replies...
Another View 4 days ago
No, they weren't watching all the movies. Too many films at 2 hours plus works out to a lot time wasted.
#6
Nikki Sevven 5 days ago
Then there's me. I read every night before bed for at least an hour. If I come across an unfamiliar word, and can't decipher it based on knowing word roots, I look it up. Knowledge is power.
B Hobbs 5 days ago
Joke, probably bad: Two Americans talking, standing on the sidewalk. A car pulls up, man gets out, looking very lost. The man says, in German, "Excuse me, I am lost, where am I?" The two, not understanding German, look confused, and say, in English, "We do not understand what you are saying." The man repeats the question in French, then in Mandarin. The two repeat their response. The man throws up his hands, says some bad words, gets in the car, and drives away. One says to the other, "Maybe we should learn a foreign language." The other replies, "Why? That guy spoke three languages and it did not help him at all." -- American here, I speak some German, lived in what was West Germany for several years.
GalPalAl 6 days ago
I think the operative word in that sentence should be unwilling, not unable to master the language
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
Exactly. When someone is unable to do something, it's generally for reasons beyond their control, like a disability or lack of access to the education.
Load More Replies...
Michael None 6 days ago
Where is the slide denoting that English is the primary language in the us. Not official but primary. I live over 5000 km from the nearest country that I would need to know another language for. Why would I waste my time? Most Americans never go far enough, often enough to need this. When your country is the size of my city I guess you need to know more languages.
Start Wearing Purple 5 days ago
knowing more than one language is more than being able to communicate with other people. it has its neurological benefits, too. and gives different perspectives on the world, which provides a better ability to reflect...
Load More Replies... Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
And get really, really proud of themselves if they can speak a little Spanish to the hired help....
CaliPanda 5 days ago
Here we go … everyone trash Americans again. It’s a lounger sport for many Pandas here. Nothing else to do on Boxing Day?
PenguinEmp 5 days ago
Ooh someone is triggered. Americans are morons for the most part and every time they get slammed it's a valid reason. Guns healthcare, food, IQ etc
Load More Replies...
UnclePanda 6 days ago
And yet a Lithuanian website is primarily written in American English. Hmmm...
#7
#8
CloPotato 6 days ago
If you're struggling and want to eat healthy, the basis of your meals should be: carrots, onions, rice, pasta, lentils and beans. Get a small bottle of spices each month or every two months, a bottle of oil or if it's too expensive coconut milk. If you or your friends go to a fast food, save the ketchup packets (when you're struggling, embarrassing ketchup is better than nothing). My food budget used to be 40€/month living in France with this technique 8 years ago. I know prices have gone up, but they're still the cheapest basic items I see. The spices are not super cheap but you need taste to not fall back into chips and coke.
zatrisha 6 days ago
You'll also need cruciferous vegetables like broccoli or kale, preferably daily. Also something fermented.
Load More Replies... George Costanza 5 days ago
Many healthy foods cost way less per pound than junk food and especially than pre-made fast food.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
Some, yes, like carrots and onions. But those are less easy to send a kid to school with. Sadly, a packaged cup cake costs less than a sandwich with tomato or cheese in it.
Load More Replies...
Sally Moen 6 days ago (edited)
There's some great YouTube creators that produce cooking cheap meals. I just watched one where the guy took 1 can baked beans, 1 can diced tomatoes, 2 chopped carrots, 3 stalks celery chopped, 1 onion chopped, 1 clove garlic chopped, 1 cup chicken broth, salt and pepper. It's an inexpensive bean and veggie soup. And pretty easy to cook
joann fielding 5 days ago
Provided you're not so poor as to be living in a car, or lucky enough to have a crappy motel room with no kitchen to cook anything, healthy or not, in.
Load More Replies...
Remi (He/Him) 6 days ago
The left one has star bucks so it can't be cheap either. Want cheap and healthy? Go for canned and frozen veggies and legumes plus anything that's cheap because it's in season.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
Sadly, it's cheaper to spend a kid to school with a cup cake than a tomato sandwich. It shouldnt be, but it is.
#9
#10
Debrutsid Wiggler 4 days ago (edited)
The dead one, because the conversation won't be as a boring as this job interview question
#11
okpkpkp 4 days ago
OMG. I lived above a gay bar here in Sacramento when I was struggling financially. The bar was open from 6 AM to 2 AM. Every night, between 2 AM and 6 AM, the jukebox would come on and play the most played songs. At the time, they were Dolly Parton singing "Two Doors Down" and someone singing "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. I hate both songs.
#12
Lotekguy 6 days ago (edited)
To be fair, most of the contents were amassed before there were destination t-shirts and souvenirs, or technology for travel slides/photos. How else would they have been able to prove where they had been and bore others with the details?
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
"Somebody went to Athens and all I got were these stupid Elgin Marbles"
Load More Replies...
Pferdchen 6 days ago
King Richard the Lionheart. "Richard likely did not speak English fluently. He was raised in a French-speaking environment, as both of his parents were of French Norman descent. During his reign, French was the official language of the English court, while English was primarily spoken by the common people. Richard spent less than six months in England throughout his ten-year reign. He often remarked that he would sell England if he could find a buyer, indicating his lack of attachment to the kingdom."
Joe Bloe 5 days ago
That's how museums around the world works. I don't understand that fixation on British museum, other than basic simpliatic anticolonialism
youareinmyspot 5 days ago
Your argument just collapsed into "everyone does it". Good for you. Advertising that you don’t understand power, provenance, or history well enough to have an opinion.
Load More Replies...
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
You mean 'stolen involving violence and k*****g', not just stolen, then ?
Load More Replies... #13
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 6 days ago
I don't even have a triangle of friends, let alone a circle.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
If I got kidnapped, they'd get sick of me laughing at them and dump me on the side of the road
Mobey Drunk 3 days ago
It reminds me of when I was going through a financial crisis and asked the owner of my work place for any type of a bonus. I was there for about 18 years at the time. So, what did I get? His thoughts and prayers
#14
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago (edited)
I can't agree more. I invest in the stock market, because I'm retired and pension... But this aspect is completely insane! Honestly, from my experience so far, most investors are idiots who have knee-jerk reactions to BS. Half the rest are taking massive advantage of this. The remainder haven't a clue what is going on anyway.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago (edited)
Not if you invest in ETFs full of well-run firms with a famous brand and good patents; and leave your investments for a decade or two :-)
Load More Replies...
#15
Geobugi🇰🇷🇰🇭 5 days ago
Why would you do something heartless like that? I have seen babies wich looked like they belong on roofs of old churches or medieval cemetaries as ornaments but i would never say that. Think that? Yes i would. Fortunately most babies evolve to quite cute toddlers
Mary Peace 1 day ago
The thing on the roof of a church is not an ornament, it's a gargoyle. Yes they're meant to be ugly.
Load More Replies...
#16
CloPotato 6 days ago
If I had 62 billion dollars I'd use them to buy many houses in my town, rent them for ridiculously low prices and make housing affordable. Couldn't resist helping people in need in this way and many others. I would absolutely crash the market for those trying to profit off others so it'd have a larger scale effect too. I would however do almost all of this online and I'd go outside for walks but always in peaceful silence. I'd throw away my phone and keep only a landline to never be contacted when I haven't decided I'm available.
Laura MG 6 days ago
I'd also stuff food banks with healthy food and fund health clinics that charge on a sliding scale, based on income.
Load More Replies...
Roxy222uk 6 days ago
I’d imagine there are quite a few billionaires that none of us know anything about.
Greenkitty 5 days ago
The problem is, people who have 62 billion dollars are not happy unless they are adding to that amount whi h usually means they have to take money from those who are not billionaires by not paying for others labor, among others things.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
It takes a lot of homeless people to support one billionaire in the style he desires
Load More Replies... Sven Horlemann 6 days ago
Nah, OP would be party animal #1 and would do what other rich people do - try to make some sense into an otherwise senseless life. No goals, nothing to achieve. So everyone (or too many) compensate doing BS. And being a$$holes.
#17
Rosecrucian Roeth 6 days ago
America the Great.................................Great what is yet to be determined.
Michael None 6 days ago
We were on the path to greatness once. Then Nixon.....then Reagan....now an Oompa Loompa is sinking the whole ship.
Load More Replies...
Philly Bob 5 days ago (edited)
And then they'd try to deport him on skin color alone probably. These ICE a******s today...
Lotekguy 4 days ago (edited)
I wonder if they'll censor ICEholes? (They didn't. Score one new term for our BP vocabulary.)
Load More Replies...
Big Bill 5 days ago
Didn't happen. Banks don't operate that way. In a case such as this, the teller would see a manager, who would call the issuing bank first, not the police. For exactly this reason.
Powerful Katrinka 4 days ago
It absolutely did happen. The Southern Poverty Law Center represented him, and it was widely reported in prestigious law journals.
Load More Replies... #18
Lotekguy 6 days ago
Partly true, but some of that indifference is actually from learning how little certain things matter.
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
Exactly. It's learning what's worth spending your time and energy on and what isn't.
Load More Replies... Andrew Keir 5 days ago
It is amazing how much "the wisdom of age" resembles "being too tired" ...
#19
CloPotato 6 days ago (edited)
That's me. When I was 18 my parents stopped forcing me and since then I've always gone only to the family gatherings that mattered to me. One burden I don't have at least.
Owen 6 days ago
Same. Be independent. Don't shackle yourself. This way initially leads to loneliness, but then it leads to freedom.
Load More Replies...
C Hendrix 5 days ago
This resonates with me. I'd said once my father died, we siblings would lose touch with each other. I know I'm partly at fault because I never reach out to them -- we have *nothing* in common except that we had the same parents. But they never reach out to me either, maybe I'll get an email once a year but I'm not checking them out on social media so what's going on in their lives is unknown. And in my life, there's nothing worth reporting to them.
#20
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
I don't think I've ever worn a shirt with a brand name on. Band name, however....
Philly Bob 5 days ago
I have tons of band shirts! All the rest are blank. No brands of any companies.
Load More Replies... Spark 5 days ago (edited)
I _am_ a billboard for organizations that do good things. Not for big companies that just want me to wear their logo. It's the easiest way in the world to do even a small amount of good. _Everyone_ can do something good if they want to. 🪧
Load More Replies... George Costanza 5 days ago
Also all streaming services with commercials should be 100% free. The ads pay for the service and I'm forced to watch the ads. I shouldn't have to PAY to watch ads.
Doug Moyer 2 days ago
The only brands that I will advertise are local breweries and my favorite sporting teams (KC Chiefs, VT Hokies). Yes, I understand that they are on completely opposite ends of the capitalism spectrum...
#21
CloPotato 6 days ago
Getting married at 15, assuming at least the girl is 15, sounds like the best way to ensure a high ratio of mothers dying while giving birth. Maybe biologically it'd make sense to wait for the pelvis to be entirely "mature" (for lack of a better word).
Marnie 5 days ago
Not only that, but when anthropologists have studied hunter-gatherer societies (who live a life style that humans lived for 300,000 years), they found that most girls didn't even get their periods until they were about 15-17 years old. Also, someone did a study of all many different societies, past and present. The most common age for people to get married is early-to-mid 20s. For humans "biology" does include maturity and ability to raise a child. Clearly, biologically, we are not meant to have children at age 15. Only pedophiles think girls are biologically ready at age 15. (Would any of them think that a 15 year old boy was ready to have a baby?)
Load More Replies... Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago (edited)
My answer would be have fun. Travel. Get experience. Make friends. Make memories. THEN settle down and start a family. You WILL NOT HAVE THE HEALTH AND LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY LATER. Sorry to shout, but it's important.
#22
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
I am strongly of the opinion that an education is never a waste of time. The problem in the US is that you will be paying for it for the rest of your life instead of being able to actually use that education.
Nikole 4 days ago
I'm in the U.S. and went to a pretty pricey university for undergrad, but because of scholarships and grants (and my parents paying 7K a year), I graduated with only about 12K in loan debt. This was in 2002 and a lot of the grant programs have been done away with now though. I'd like to go to grad school but I know I couldn't afford it. Le sigh.
Load More Replies...
Sven Horlemann 6 days ago
I had the same thoughts, studying musicology. Worked in my job 2 years. Then switched to a management job, and kept educating myself in this new job.
Mary Peace 1 day ago
No-one in the comments seems to enjoy the joke. This is my kind of humour!
M Hup 5 days ago
With many, maybe most, PhDs, the university pays you, not the other way around. You teach undergrads for part of the period you spend earning your PhD. I have numerous clients, friends and family with PhDs and not one paid. It probably varies by field and the wealth and/or presitige of the university. The OP is funny, though, just not close to being universally true. Also, it smells like Russian trolls posting here, probably after they took off time beating their wives and girlfriends, since Russia essentially legalized spousal a***e in 2017.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
I have a PhD in Bus. Mgmt that cost me over $20k. I have recouped that in being able to charge a bit more as a consultant but it took a LOT of years
Load More Replies... M Hup 5 days ago
For many PhDs, maybe most, the university pays you, not the other way around. And you teach classes. You're paid a pittance but you aren't paying. I have numerous friends, family and clients with PhDs and none of them paid. It probably varies by field and the prestige of the university. The most recent one was a PhD in Geography at a state university. They paid her and she taught undergrads some.
#23
CloPotato 6 days ago
I've eaten nice things there but on the other hand my life hasn't been the same since someone told me that I should try Frey Bentos because it's nice and tasty. I have tried it, I wouldn't give it to a dog. So, British food can definitely be good but there is at least one British guy whose palate cannot be trusted.
Roxy222uk 6 days ago
Honest to God, I have no idea who these people are that keep Frey Bentos in business!
Load More Replies...
Norfolk and good 6 days ago (edited)
Absolutely not. That's a stereotype that comes from the Victorian era and WWII when people didn't really have much of a choice about what to eat. You can get every food you can think of in the UK now. It's not entirely uncommon for many white Brits to have Indian food for Christmas dinner. One thing we do particularly well is dessert. A lot of our food and drink has protected status. Many people would probably also be suprised to find out Britain produces over 700 different types of cheese. American food is much worse in my opinion, where the focus is usually on quantity rather than quality. You only have to watch Man vs Food to see the atrocious food on offer in the US.
Michael Largey 5 days ago
If you don't like your home country's food, you leave and establish yourself somewhere else. If British food was as bad as people claim, then the UK would have staked out a huge world-wide empire. ...Oh, wait ...
Philly Bob 5 days ago (edited)
I have a friend who once said that the best place in England to get dinner is France. But I happen to like English meat pies and nothing beats a full English breakfast or a Sunday roast, so...
Mike Price 5 days ago
I seem to recall it was George Bernard Shaw who said that to eat well in Britain, have breakfast three times a day.
Load More Replies... Mary Peace 1 day ago
Me (unless it's very mild, probably not worth calling curry.)
Load More Replies... Arenite 4 days ago
Actually, I’ve always thought Brit food was mostly good. Once upon a time, they mostly grew their food- wheat, meat, dairy, veggie, various berries and apples… So they were getting good pure food. It’s hard to f up a steak, noodles, veggies, and fruit for dessert. And you serve it not hidden under gloppy sauces, it was plain and showing off the freshness and quality of the food. But not anymore.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
Once upon a time, the Irish grew what the British ate, but weren't allowed any of it themselves, which is why the potato famine nearly wiped them out
Load More Replies...
Lotekguy 5 days ago
Phonetically, "treacle" should be a term for what comes out of a body, rather than something to be ingested by it.
Mary Peace 1 day ago
Such a lovely thought, just going to cook my dinner now.
Load More Replies... #24
CloPotato 6 days ago (edited)
As the child of my parents and no god, I'll notice this doesn't seem to contain an ID, so I can safely take it to the nearest town hall. Such an amount of money is fishy, so there's a good chance the people who lost it won't ask for it, and after three years it will legally be mine.
Philly Bob 5 days ago
You'd be giving the local politicians a nice bonus.
Load More Replies...
Barbara Ryan 5 days ago
Turn around to see if there is anyone watching, If there is...pick it up, stay in sight, locate police. No one is looking pick it up and go the opposite way to my house.
#25
#26
okpkpkp 4 days ago
My son and family bought a house for $500 grand (Northern California). Never missed a payment. Bank of America bought their house and many others during the housing crisis. They gave them the boot. Her parents went to the auction and bought the house back for $186 grand. The kids started apying them instead. Eventually, they sold and moved to Tennessee. My son closed his flooring business and now flips houses.
Learner Panda 5 days ago
I am curious how old this is. The young farmer has probably retired by now.
tameson 6 days ago
Because if only one person showed up they would probably cancel it.
Load More Replies...
#27
#28
Talis 6 days ago
Sure, but in prison, you sit around all day and get fed, whereas outside, you have a job and need to go shopping and - hmm... 🤔
joseph legatt 6 days ago
An added bonus is the free health care in prison.
Load More Replies...
Cougar Allen 5 days ago
They didn't keep much cash in banks any more. Probably not enough to keep you in cigarettes for ten years.
Mary Peace 1 day ago
When you come out of prison you'll want a job, after conviction for bank robbery.
#29
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
Dogs were keeping vigil for us long before horses got involved. We would have had to sleep in shifts without dogs. Sorry, not sorry.
Arenite 4 days ago
Well way back, Neothilic age maybe, horses were a big food source for humans. So I’d call it a draw.
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 6 days ago
Teddy Roosevelt? That sounds like something he would say.
Load More Replies... 
#30
Remi (He/Him) 6 days ago
Not that the fish building isn't awesome, but for more traditional buildings, Sagrada Familia will be completed next year after being 144 years under construction. They still do need a few more years for the statues and stuff, but still
Owen 6 days ago (edited)
I know these images are supposedly a joke, but I genuinely love them both. The fish needs a name like Fumglus the Fish.
Alewa 6 days ago
I don't wanna know the working and living conditions of those who built and paid for the wonders.
#31
#32
LinkTheHylian 3 days ago
Apple missed a trick not giving OJ (so much fruit...) an 'exclusive' app called 'iDidIT' before he joined Hitler in Hell.
#33
UnclePanda 6 days ago (edited)
Just like a pound of chocolate can be balanced out with a long hard stare at some lettuce.
Load More Replies...
#34
OneHappyPuppy 6 days ago
Good God is this true. I got more work thrown at me because the new kid "forgot" to do something. I was speechless
Scott Rackley 5 days ago
75% baby. Enough room to work some miracles from time to time but not so low as to be suspicious.
Luke || Kira (he/she) 6 days ago
What my mother still fails to realize. That d@mn GenX work ethics are gonna get her k****d.
michael reid 5 days ago
For me this moment of realisation didn't lead to resignation, but liberation. I can do what seems to me to be very little at all and still finish early every day and get paid the same. It's turned out to be a massive load off my mind.
Timothy Patel 5 days ago
All managers are lazy and will always take the path of least resistance for them. Usually they have a great rapport with the person that doesn't do anything because they have time for chatting.
#35
CloPotato 6 days ago
I'm currently testing getting freelance, in a seasonal activity. I can hibernate in the winter. It's not perfect rn because it's the first year so I had to rush-prepare everything, I've just finished my website but I still had enough to live if not much more this year, so with the website and a better network I think I can be onto something. What I'd def recommend though is being born a millionaire.
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago (edited)
I was unemployed when I was young. I was getting paid to do nothing. Why should I, who didn't want a job, take a valuable job away from someone who wanted it and had a family to support? I mean, we had 10% unemployment, I was taking one for the team. I still had enough money for basics.
#36
Chich the witch 5 days ago (edited)
I can say I have avoided buying products because of un-skipable ads.
Load More Replies...
Mary Peace 1 day ago
Never fear, something is brewing. Probably for replying to an email or text as well.
#37
C Hendrix 5 days ago
He was definitely one of the best ones, up there with Mr. Rogers. It's too bad neither man was Catholic or I'd recommend them for sainthood -- they deserve it!
Load More Replies...
zenharmony 5 days ago
Seriously? Being hunted every day of your life for thirty years doesn't sound "too bad" to you?
Cougar Allen 5 days ago
Millions of Americans are being hunted right now.
Load More Replies... #38
Lotekguy 5 days ago
It also prepares them for the bullying, rejections, unfairness and disappointments they'll face later in life.
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
This is true to a certain extent. Once my oldest reach about 4th grade, they started learning things I don't understand well enough or know enough about to teach, particularly in math and science. But I have serious issues with the district's attendance policies. My youngest sister spent much of her senior year in high school seriously ill. As in, in and out of the hospital ill. She missed about a third of the school year. Yet she maintained a 3.5 GPA. The district required her to write an essay on why she should be allowed to graduate after missing so many days. It was f.u.ck.ing stupid.
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago (edited)
Well I learned a lot: 1. Actual results are irrelevant. Perception is all. 2. Get invisible, fast. If they don't know about you they won't miss you. 3. Learn to bûllshit. This cannot be stressed enough. If you can BS well enough, no job is impossible. In a real pinch you can look up the information later or ask someone else. I got 30% on a test once without knowing anything whatsoever about the subject except the words in the question the essay was supposed to be about. I'm still proud of it 50 years on!
#39
CloPotato 6 days ago
Girls having concealed their love for sticks so well that the internet thinks sticks are for boys is fun to me. Internet is not ready for witches gatherings.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
"Merry log-in and merry log-out, and merry log-in again" !
Load More Replies... Maren Villadsen 6 days ago
Why only to the boys?? Like women only likes make-up and clothing? 😡
Crystalwitch60 6 days ago
Just needs a lovely handle on it , n it be perfect , oh n a coat of varnish ,it’s as lovely stick
martin734 6 days ago (edited)
I would leave it alone in case some angry wizard comes after me for stealing his staff.
#40
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 6 days ago
Roof over your head, electricity, a presumably working laptop, a clean(?) bed. A lot of people would be more than happy with this setup.
Laura MG 6 days ago
After six years on multiple waiting lists I finally got into a Senior Subsidized apartment. It's not perfect but I'm still grateful for it and am far luckier than the elderly ppl I see "living" on the streets
Load More Replies... Crystalwitch60 6 days ago
What’s the alternative if you leave ? cos that place has endless possibility’s tbh bit of carpet curtains etc it be good then .
Black Cat 6 days ago
I dont know why you were down voted for this. Here, have an upvote. You seem to have a small group of haters who downvote you regardless of what you say.
Load More Replies... Philly Bob 5 days ago (edited)
This isn't really that bad. Heat, a bed, electricity, cable... hell, I'd take it.
Philly Bob 5 days ago
In NYC, San Fran or LA... about $4000 a month! LOL!
Load More Replies... Anna Purnell 2 days ago
Here's the difficult part: @Smeghead is 100% right. Buuuuuut I have claustrophobia so badly I cannot sleep in a basement room. We'd have to go to my place. Got the yips just looking at this picture.
#41
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 6 days ago
I have felt like this since 2001. You know when in 2001.
Niels AirMax 5 days ago
I've recently read that mankind peaked in 1998, and I couldn't relate more!!! Those were the times my friends! 😌
Ye Olde Dirty Grumpy 1 hour ago
Yes. The stupid Republicans believe Americas Golden Age was under Reagan, but it really happened under Clinton, when the Peace Dividend happened, and DoD spending went down dramatically. RIP CCCP
Load More Replies... Pferdchen 6 days ago
From an American perspective, this makes some sense: it was the year Obama was elected as president and much of America seems to have lost its mind. Of course, it was a long time in the making. A lot of people couldn't handle the human rights advances that started in the 60's (end of Jim Crow, Civil Rights Act, Women's Liberation, LGBT equality, etc.)
Load More Replies... Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
It's normal to think that the world was better in whatever decade coincides with our early 20s, because this is when we finished building a lot of the part of our brain that handles extended socialization. For me, it's the end of the ,90s - although a little thinking reminds me the world had a lot of issues then as well
#42
Lotekguy 6 days ago (edited)
Why does the commute home take twice as long? Or does it just seem longer?
LinkTheHylian 3 days ago
Here's another question: If there are 24 hours in a day, I spend eight at work, and two commuting to and from work, why don't I have 14 hours to spend relaxing and sleeping?
Load More Replies... Timothy Patel 5 days ago
More like 7 to 7 since in America employers do not pay for the lunch hour like they do in Europe.
Jeff Anderson 5 days ago
Actually most do. America s***s but it's not nearly as bad as people make it seem.
Load More Replies... #43
Sven Horlemann 5 days ago
Apologies. But shouldn't it say "We don't want any gifts at the marriage ceremony"?
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Please no, that guy hasn't told the truth in his life ... (UK, IYKYK).
Load More Replies... #44
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
Absolutely. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make yourself as irreplaceable as possible. A very, very good way to do this as a programmer is not to document ANYTHING. Apparently...
Pinkie2014 2 days ago
Not sure about that - more like "how exploitable" or how much they think you will take before leaving
Huddo's sister 5 days ago
I'm not. I am hard to replace, as evidenced by the fact they couldn't get anyone else for the job, asked me three times. Yet I am not paid well (though a bit better now they have 'realised' they weren't paying me according to my qualification- 3 years late).
#45
Dirk Daring 6 days ago
All of the Contractors were pushed to the back of the line while the Govvies all got to go three times.
Lotekguy 6 days ago
The preceding statement is particularly credible, coming from one whose name is a stabby weapon.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 5 days ago
And according to probability, at least two of those 23 stabbers were likely to have the same birthday.
#46
BK BigFish 4 days ago
If you really want a great series, the contestants shouldn't be poor - they should be uber wealthy. The one who wins, gets to keep their money. The rest, die. (Otherwise, why even film it? The US without universal healthcare and guns and fentanyl everywhere is already Squid Game, but with no prize)
#47
UnclePanda 6 days ago
Someday you'll be the old newbie watching the new newbie working this through.
#48
Lotekguy 6 days ago
Actually, the space around the friend is the perimeter, since the date may be one of the threats.
Load More Replies... Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
Everyone needs to learn to say these words right before they order "this will be seperate bills (or cheques), please"
Michael None 5 days ago
and it would be called misogynistic if a man characterized women's brains in the manner you did.
Load More Replies... #49
Big Bill 5 days ago
Most people don't understand that if the owners of restaurants paid their servers a 'living wage' (whatever that is), the cost of their meals would go up by more than the tip might be. What an employee earns it not the only cost that employee costs the employer.
CJandMuse 4 days ago
Only certain Americans believe/think that. Was proven when McDonald's and co opened shop in Europe, Australia, ect
Load More Replies...
#50
nazligelincik@hotmail.com 6 days ago
vlc player. free and awesome media player (for windows) for decades!
Pwhge Kfkfgnme 6 days ago
It's cross platform. It has versions for macOS, Linux, iOS, Android, tvOS, ChromeOS, Windows Phone, various BSD-based systems, Solaris, BeOS, OS/2, Syllable, and yes windows as well
Load More Replies... Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
I loved this application for decades. Every single codex seemed to be available, even the proprietary ones Sony used to try to lock us in to....
Greenkitty 5 days ago
Is this advertisement supposed to make me think I have a dirty mind or something else.
#51
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
We lied to our son about his 4th birthday, because we were on holiday in France and wanted to go to Disneyland Paris. That day was a public holiday in the UK and it would have been full of fwit uk tourists. Good call.
#52
#53
Michael None 5 days ago
The US isn't the only country to not have socialized medicine you know, just the richest.
Load More Replies... George Costanza 5 days ago
Nah, med school in the US didn't prepare me for the actual economics of medicine in any way. Med school is taught by academic physicians who have no real idea what medicine costs or how it is billed. When I went into private practice I had to learn the hard way how money-dependent medicine is. But it wasn't taught in med school at all, unfortunately, even though it became incredibly important once I was actually practicing.
otiose 5 days ago
NO ONE in the us system knows the cost of healthcare. It's all a game of smoke and mirrors and billing codes and making prices up (depending on your insurance company and plan or lack of insurance). Gambling makes more sense than what any one individual will be charged for any specific procedure.
Load More Replies... CloPotato 6 days ago
Don't worry, there are enough imbeciles taking horse dewormer, unprepared crafters stapling their hands and home renovators falling from ladders, without mentioning naive noodles who keep chugging, eating and smoking s**t doctors have been warning against for fifty years. The only doctors I've met who didn't try their best did not sell me "big pharma" or tell me to come back, they told me to do yoga and drink tea bc surely my intense chest pain was due to stress (I had a misplaced rib that'd gotten inflamed).
Jake Bertz 4 days ago
Nah, this is medical administration. The doctors aint the ones raking in the dough, it's the medical corporation that employs them.
Cougar Allen 5 days ago
No, that's pharmacologist school. Doctors don't even know what patients are paying; that's not their department.
#54
Khavrinen 5 days ago
"But their motto is 'Don't Be Evil'! What do you mean they changed that..."
Load More Replies... Did I say that out loud? 5 days ago
In the UK,at least,if you use incognito mode ,it warns you of all the different people that can access your browsing history.
Mike Beck 3 days ago
Same in the US. It blatantly tells you that everyone can still track you just fine, the browser simply doesn't super anything local.
Load More Replies... #55
KDav 5 days ago
This one almost pets my peeves. At least they didn't say 'after death,' which would send my brain into a millisecond rage where I correct them screaming "Anno Domini, or Year of Our Lord" before returning to my doomscroll.
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
My 6th grade teacher thought it stood for After Death. I won a bet with her over how many children Queen Elizabeth II had, too...in 1978, when Prince Edward was 14. In her defense, we're Americans
Load More Replies... #56
#57
Michael Largey 5 days ago
However, the movie "One Million Years B.C." apparently suffered from severe production delays.
#58
Geoffrey Scott 6 days ago
Every time a salesperson tries to convince me I need a 'smart' item, my reply is "I have no desire to know what my fridge in Michigan is doing when I'm in Miami. Or the car salesman : "Sorry, but this unit only has a driver info center rather than an 8" screen"..."if you retract your apology, you will make a sale"..he did.
Nikki Sevven 5 days ago
Nearly 15 years ago, when I told the salesman I wanted a washer and dryer with dials and switches, he argued, trying to convince me that digital was the way to go. Finally, he stopped and asked why. I said, "Because I can fix dials and switches that stop working. I can't fix a defunct motherboard." Two years in, the dryer's on/off switch broke. I replaced it with a light switch, which is still working more than a decade later.
Load More Replies... Philly Bob 5 days ago
And if you don't pay your subscription fees, it'll shut off and lock. You'll lose all of your food.
George Costanza 5 days ago
Yeah I refuse to have "smart" home appliances. Just no real need. Push the button/turn the dial. That's all I'll buy.
Pinkie2014 2 days ago
The last thing I need is an appliance to go down because the WiFi is out. I fight with my iPad, smart tv, and cell phone enough (let's not add the other appliances).
Andy Frobig 4 days ago
I still have an RV whose controls were designed in 1976, enough mechanical film cameras to build a fort, and none of my woodwinds are less than 50 years old
Jeff Anderson 5 days ago
That's what you get for buying a fridge that doesn't have a mechanical water/ice function. Can't believe believe people shell out thousand for junk like this.
Betty Spaghetti 5 days ago
Show me where they sell new fridges with mechanical ice/water functions.
Load More Replies... #59
Norfolk and good 6 days ago
Unpopular opinion but Rose and Jack didn't really love each other and they wouldn't have lasted, given that Rose was only 17, cheating on her fiancé and they'd only known each other for two days.
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
People all too often confuse "hormone release designed to encourage us to procreate" with love.
Load More Replies... General Anaesthesia 6 days ago
She knew he'd dump her before her twenty-fifth birthday so why bother saving him?
Laura Gillette 5 days ago
I think they both would have said a heartfelt goodbye after they arrived in New York, had the Titanic not sunk. They both knew it couldn't have worked. But then Rose would probably have still married her fiancé and been miserable, if well off.
#60
Ryan Mercer 5 days ago
Men don't want to do nothing for their birthday. We're into performance art.
George Costanza 5 days ago
Why do women think they need the world to revolved around them for an entire day/week just because that was the day they got squeezed out of mom's cooter?
#61
#62
#63
General Anaesthesia 6 days ago
Is Europe bigger than the US? Answer in my reply that BP hides because helpful URLs distract from scam job URLs.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
And we all know it's a matter of time before AI is put in charge of the nuclear codes ...
Ryan Mercer 5 days ago
This is old and does not reflect its current abilities. People both want to claim it's stupid and can't do anything, while also feeling threatened by what it can and will do. Remember when everyone complained about 6 fingers? That's not really a thing anymore, is it. But go ahead and keep reassuring yourselves that it's irrelevant, while you're looking for a new job.
#64
Child of the Stars 6 days ago
I saw a post once that said "I wanted to order takeout tonight and realized my mom was right. We do have food at home."
Chich the witch 5 days ago
I remember my sister getting a job and then her own place. OMG the things she was going to do! Then she went grocery shopping and the bills started arriving.
Child of the Stars 4 days ago
My sister always insisted she would have matching furniture and never buy second hand anything (our family was right on the line of middle class and low income per 90s standards). Her house is completely furnished with unmatched furniture she found at thrift stores.
Load More Replies... UnclePanda 6 days ago
I love watching new roommates negotiating the Huntz-Heinz ketchup space.
Remi (He/Him) 6 days ago
The cheapest ketchup at the moment is 0.35€ lol. Of course the second cheapest is something like 1€ (these are 1kg bottles so 2,2 pounds)
Philly Bob 5 days ago (edited)
USA here. Heinz ketchup... large bottle $4.49 - ALDI - Burman's ketchup... $1.69. I'm a ketchup snob and I can barely tell the difference in the tast but when you can buy 3 bottles of ALDI's for close to the price of 1 Heinz... and it's d****d good...
#65
driedgrapes 5 days ago
Why so thin though? To split in half by accident one day in my pocket? How much? $1000? ... ... .....
#67
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 5 days ago
Mario and Luigi are plumbers, not construction workers
Load More Replies... #68
️Rando Panda 5 days ago
Over wedding food? The overpriced stuff that's about as palatable as hospital or airplane food?
#69
#70
Owen 6 days ago (edited)
Don't buy Apple products. Source - I am a nerd. They are shafting you.
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
I don't think Apple were ever giving people iPhones. I'm pretty sure you always had to pay unreasonable amounts for them.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
I think my iPhone 6 came in a box like that. It cost about 2 months rent so yes, I considered it expensive
Load More Replies...
George Costanza 5 days ago
Yep. I've got chargers and charging cords all over the darn house.
Load More Replies... #71
Owen 6 days ago
That sign is in very good English, writing, spelling, and grammar. I think they just don't want people there. That aren't Japanese.
Sven Horlemann 5 days ago
So you think it unlikely that they had bad experiences (for both sides) with English speaking customers. And because of that asked someone with good English skills to write a poster, to avoid frustrations on both sides? Unlikely.
Load More Replies... Amy 5 days ago (edited)
In England the menus are only in English and alot of our population only speak English (although with immigration and languages now being taught in primary schools this is improving). So I don’t see a problem with this - especially if it’s a smaller family restaurant. We can lt expect everyone to cater to us.
#72
joann fielding 5 days ago
What if the Hokey Pokey was right, and that *is* what it's all about?
Load More Replies... #73
zatrisha 6 days ago
I speak for all women, we only watched it because of Battlecat!
Load More Replies... 
#74
JL 6 days ago
And you can't complain about not winning the Nobel Peace Prize when you love sending troops into your own cities, want to rename the Dept of Defense the Dept of War, get all excited about building battleships, and make comments about wanting Greenland and suggesting taking it by force.
Chich the witch 5 days ago
And toss in being a coward when it was your turn to serve.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 5 days ago
You can't truly call yourself "brave" unless you're scared, but move forward despite your fear. If you're not afraid, you're not brave; you're just stupid.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Are you scared? That's OK. Do it scared. Do it anyway.
Load More Replies... 
#75
Remi (He/Him) 6 days ago
Captain Kirk destroying evil computers with just talking to them vibes
UnclePanda 6 days ago
Because they forgot about circuit breakers on the way to the future.
Load More Replies... #76
Lotekguy 6 days ago
The level that keeps me from ever using the word adulting other than in this sentence.
Tha Monkey 5 days ago
Along with "doggo", "bae", "nom noms", and "wine o'clock"!!
Load More Replies... Lukas (he/him, it/its) 5 days ago
I like that they covered the profile pictures but left the name and @ completely visible and therefore easy to look up
Verena 5 days ago
As a speaker of English as a foreign language, one of the most confusing words is "adultery". Only adults do it?
Jonathan English 4 days ago
When someone ask to speak to an adult, and you look around the room and realise that your the only adult in the room
#77
highwaycrossingfrog 6 days ago
I'd point out that you're making gender assumptions, but I can't disagree that the person who lives here is male
Load More Replies...
Anna Purnell 2 days ago
Knows what's important to him. Has that. Simple. Not for me, but mad props nonetheless.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
Me. I have a board atop a raised platform (if I slept on the floor I'd be half the day trying to get up off it)
Load More Replies... #78
highwaycrossingfrog 6 days ago
I usually mix it up between "boyfriend" and "partner", because I find both inadequate as a descriptor. Boyfriend rings juvenile and too casual. Partner is impersonal and ambiguous. But I can think of no viable alternative.
Lotekguy 6 days ago
I always liked the term "main squeeze", but it didn't seem suitable for all situations. One could strategically use "current companion" to keep their partners from becoming too complacent. However, one would be unlikely to enjoy any intimacy later that evening.
Load More Replies...
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
I use partner because girlfriend sounds so teenage. We're over 60!
Billo66 6 days ago (edited)
I call mine Gotye. Because she's just somebody that I used to know.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
I think spouse pre-supposes married, whichay not be the case
Load More Replies... #79
Roxy222uk 6 days ago
Absolutely not. This is manosphere bollocks. Being harassed by a wealthy man is no less humiliating, intimidating, and dehumanising than being harassed by a poor one. The differences between harassment and flirting are about consent, something that still seems incredibly hard to understand for a lot of people.
Black Cat 6 days ago
Exactly, the same dickheads will also say the difference between the two is also how good looking the guy is. Nope, it's always about consent.
Load More Replies... Norfolk and good 6 days ago (edited)
Being harassed by a rich man means that it'll be harder to do anything about it because he has the power and wealth to hire fancy lawyers to make the allegations go away and make your life very difficult.
George Costanza 5 days ago
Nah, the difference is whether she's attracted to you or not. If not, it's harassment. If yes, it's flirting. Just not easy to ever know that in advance, so don't persist if she's not interested.
Andrew Keir 5 days ago
Should read "impossible " to know that in advance ...
Load More Replies... CloPotato 6 days ago
Which is why rich people never have any harassment lawsuits filed against them.
Michael Largey 5 days ago
Or why they usually win them or get them dismissed.
Load More Replies... Betty Spaghetti 5 days ago
A poor man can be charming if he knows when to back off. A rich man can be disgusting if he doesn’t.
Charlotte Ingle 4 days ago
No! Good looking people can also be creepy and intimidating. Sometimes more so, because they find it harder to understand "not interested" as a response
Load More Replies... #80
Roxy222uk 6 days ago
Isn’t that just true of humans? You fall in love with who you fall in love with.
Zig Zag Wanderer 6 days ago
Unfortunately, some people seem to regard marriage as some kind of life-career advancement. It's sad.
Load More Replies... Trillian 6 days ago
No matter what my job is I wouldn't want a guy who expects me to make his life easier.
Jake Bertz 4 days ago
No one wants a partner that makes their life harder.
Load More Replies... Add New Image
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Mark Alexander 4 days ago
Hey. Everybody. Sshhh. Let's all vote "very likely" but do it sarcastically.
Mark Alexander 4 days ago
Hey. Everybody. Sshhh. Let's all vote "very likely" but do it sarcastically.
You May Like 50 of the Best Memes of All Time That Are Icons of Internet Culture 50 Of The Most Hilarious Tweets Amateur Comedians Graced Us With This November 50 Hilarious Posts From This Account Dedicated To Sharing “Men’s Humor” (New Pics)
Ilona Baliūnaitė
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Greta Jaruševičiūtė
Related on Bored Panda
