40 Times Word Crimes Had To Be Called Out By The English Language Police, As Shared By This Facebook Group
How many “c’s” and “m’s” in “accommodate?” Is there a “c” in “acquire?” While it might seem obvious when written out in front of you, English spelling can make fools of the best of us, but most people will probably overlook a misspelled word in a text. But that mistake becomes ever so magnified when you are driving around and see it displayed in, say, a shop window.
The “English Language Police” Facebook page gathers word crimes and grammatical mistakes people have spotted in the wild. So scroll down and enjoy the funniest examples here, upvote your favorites, and be sure to let us know what common language mistakes are your number one pet peeve.
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Listening To "Water Music" Will Never Be The Same Again
Free Bill Posters
That Was After The Honeymoon
Native speakers (and writers) of English all have their own struggle words. Some people can’t stand the doubling of a specific letter, like aggression versus agression. In other cases, people think there is a second letter where there actually is none, for example, imitate versus immitate. More often than not, this is a result of English not being a phonetic language.
Many writing systems attempt to just jot down the sounds that a particular word consists of. As logical as this sounds, many languages skip this part, English being one of them. Partially, the French can be blamed, as a lot of constructions in modern English have old French (and Norman) origins, due to William the Conqueror, well, conquering England in 1066.
So Many People To Send Them To
I Don't Know If I Can Stay Awake For 5 Days... Anymore
The Whole Planet? Seems Kinda Harsh
Schrödinger's truck driver can be both by and jnside his truck.
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Only while the truck is being unloaded. Then, they're free to roam the Earth.
Yeah, let's keep truckers in their place. Loose truckers wandering all around is a growing problem.
Poor drivers have to stay in their trucks for the duration of their employment.
"Goddammit Carl, you've been walkin' round the world unsupervised again?!?!"
How are they not on strike... and if they have to pee or they release their electrolytes like Michael Bryce in HITMAN'S BODYGUARD
We’re discriminating against truck drivers now? Then again, it was MAGAt truckers who tried to block the border with Canada, soooo…
To counter this, English orthographer Christopher Upward designed something called cut spelling. The basic idea was to “cut” redundant and silent letters, which would “help” save 8–15% of space when printing written texts and, potentially, reduce the number of spelling mistakes that we all run into regularly. It never really took off because who wants to go through the hassle of remaking the entire spelling system of a language?
Well That Is One Way To Prevent Theft
Please, Turn Water Into Wine
Good Advice
As English is spoken around the globe by over 1.5 billion people as a first or second language, it makes sense that large, sweeping changes might not be that realistic to implement. It’s also a language without a “central” authority, with different spelling, pronunciation, and slang depending on where one is. Researchers call this a pluricentric language, meaning that different strains develop and intermix without one being regarded as the “official” variant.
Very Witty Indeed
You Expect The Guy To Open The Store While Being Circumcised?
I Hadn't Realized It Was Banned
The result is that most variants of English are mutually intelligible, though there are always many anecdotes about thick accents from one English-speaking country or another. It also has a global reach, both due to colonial history and mass media. These days, English can be referred to as a true “lingua franca,” as it is often used when both parties don’t share a common language.
Okay Then
Aldi Australia Is Selling This Stool
Oh My
Attempts to make a “neutral” global means of communication have led to the creation of “Globish,” a somewhat uninspiring name for a language. The idea, created by Jean-Paul Nerrière, was to have something that was not tied down by the cultural weight of English and also incorporate elements from other languages around the world. Nevertheless, its largest “lender” of words was still English (around 1500 words) and it has not really taken off at the moment.
Where Is Elon When You Need Him?
A Sticky Situation To Be In
The Four Apostrophe’s’ Of The Apocalypseses’s’
English is so predominant that some scholars believe it might lead to premature language death. As it is tied up with employment, research, and a lot of popular media, English remains one of the top choices for people to learn, at the cost of acquiring a different language. The unfortunate result is that it introduces alien words and idioms into languages where they don’t belong, supplanting the more unique original structures.
No, Thanks
Me In Real Life
Pretty Intimidating If You Ask Me
Can You Eat Non-Customers At The Tables? Asking For A Friend
Uh, Oh
This Sign
Dognuts? Hmmm
Clever Crafter's Fail
Let's Hope The Burger Is Ok
Yummy
Two Lies And A Grammar Gaffe. What An Ad
I've Read This Five Different Ways. Each Giving A New And More Disturbing Meaning To It
How Can You Fill Both Sides Of An Aisle With One Niche Product Category?
Saying “You Are A Cancer” Isn’t Much Better
Seems Awfully Cheap
reminds me of bob's burgers... "we make our burgers with dead bodies from the crematorium next door!"
Unique Eligibility Criteria
Misogynists (Somewhere In Canada)
It is a real park hahaha https://www.google.com/maps/@49.2636471,-123.0969396,3a,75y,31.29h,89.12t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sZ-R9NWejKReyPNsxHbbuzQ!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DZ-R9NWejKReyPNsxHbbuzQ%26cb_client%3Dsearch.revgeo_and_fetch.gps%26w%3D96%26h%3D64%26yaw%3D280.0476%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192
But How Many Fake Ones?
With The Price Of Gas These Days, He’s Not Wrong
Shucks, Wouldn’t You Know It, We’re On Vacation And Only Have Our Holiday Maid With Us
Hope Agian Shows Up
Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't
Doors Can Suffer From Significant Separation Anxiety
In any event, I hate signs that say "keep this door closed at all times". If it's closed at all times, it isn't a door, it's a wall.
Is It Airfryable?
Issue That Domestic Cats Are Usually Much Smaller Than The Weight Limit Noted Here
Didn’t Know Tattoos Were Mobile Otherwise They Can Be Welded On?
I Hope Someone Was Fired Over This, Or Smacked Across The Knuckles With A Ruler. Honk Jesus, Honk If You Save, If You Love Jesus
Jesus, Jesus says to sliders drugs say to no yes. Say sliders say no to drugs to yes.
Watch Your Back, Jesus
Probably A Rerun
But if the impatient is parked there, why charge the patience to tow it? Who am I kidding, that's how the world works... Hopefully, spelling is apparently not what the impatient patient paid by patience is here for.
Build A $1.2 Billion Cruise Ship And Save A Few Dollars By Failing To Proofread Signage For 75+ Plaques. Priceless
I Wonder How That School Does In National Spelling
Once again, American schooling strikes again! (This is just embarrassing.)
Penmanship Is So Important
"Trespiss-Sewers" Like Connoisseurs? Or Is That Three Spas Yours?
Tasty
I Wonder If They Choose Or If You Have To Self-Identify
Damn Autocorrect
the machine is having an existential crisis, much like the person who wrote that i suspect
It's Truly Amazing, The Progress They've Made In Transplants
Those Poor Guests
I Think I Need Some Help With This One
That Only Complicates The Problem
Ouch
Sounds Great. I Get To Park Here And Eat For Free. What A Country
I think the worst part of this sign is the Jersey Girl logo. The text should go top to bottom, not middle up, then down.
100% Of The Whole Mouth, Is This Redundant? Granted It's Early And I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet And Have A Slight Headache But Still
Does Anyone Else Feel Peevish About This Post?
A Very Effective Mnemonic
What Language Is This?
Found This Gem In Rural Tennessee
Let's Face It: Ice Cream Is Importanter. Also Deliciouser
When You Want To Vent, You Know Who To Call
Seen In Chennai (Erstwhile Madras)
The notice says in Tamil that there are job opportunities for ladies with expertise in operating photocopying machines. It's the English translation that's intriguing.
Yo, Adrian (Proper Use Of Comma)
A Good Bit Of Yorkshire
The Grammar Is Bad Enough, But The Roaming Chess Gangs Scare Me
In Other Words, Anyone Who Is Between 1-20 Or 22+ Cannot Purchase Or Consume Here
No problem, I know many people who have been "21" since they were 14 for this exact reason
I Encountered This Fascinating Euphemism For The First Time On Our Recent Road Trip To The US. Has Anyone Else Ever Heard This Expression?
It has the quaint, bygone sound of something carried over from the Victorian period
Judges Do Have The Power Over You
Stay Get Yay
A Comma And An Apostrophe Would Have Really Helped Here
Damn. I thought he was gonna ask me for a date. He was merely profiling.
Sadly, They Paid Dollar's For That Sign
Spotted In A Store Window. Apparently Their Merchandise Includes Children? Is That Even Legal?
Not The Festive Spirit I Was Expecting From Woolworths
I Am Wondering Whether The Attendant Has Had Too Many Alcoholic Beverages
Presumably, These Grow In Bushes?
"To Bad" Must Be On The "Highway To Hell"
Why Are Racists So Bad At English?
Ronnie Must Work Here
Segregation Is Still A Thing In The Midlands
I Came Across This Sign Today And Still Can’t Quite Understand What They Are Saying. Any Ideas? Do They Want Tourists? Are The Bears Eating Tourists?
So Nice Of Them To Send Kids To Do Our Sewing And First Aid At The Airbnb Unit
I Always Thought That All Clocks Were Time Clocks. By The Look Of The Merchandise, I Guess I Was Wrong
Inconvenience Indeed
Just Noticing This After Using This For Two Years. A Simple Typo, But Still
Not sure if it's a typo or just a very weird 'i'... i've seen script fonts with funny shaped letters that only make sense at the beginning of a word, if the rest of the word is in lower case
Ah, I Can Take My Time Here. I Love To Indulge In Long Baths
Possible Uses Of A Monocular
Proofreading Fail. Cutains?
Well The Words Appear To Be English But The Manner In Which They Are Assembled Is Incomprehensible
This Sign Caught My Eye Today And My Immediate Thought Was "Wow, Are They Making Smart (I.e. Automated) Shoes Now?"
What Fresh Hell Is This?
Lay Eggs?
On A Walk In Spring Hill, I Encountered This Gem. I Felt Slightly Dumber For Having Read It
Ok, spelling isn't that person's forte, but at least they haven't paid a swag of dollars to a professional signwriter to have an illiterate sign made like so many of the other ones on this list
That Arrangement Works
So Close
He Parked So Close That He Knocked Off An O
Too close to the fence…. Easy way to remember is “the two men were too close to the edge of the cliff”.
Buried Fiber Optic Cable GF
You Probably Think This Sign Is About You
I Wonder If Gerogia Is Near Georgia?
I Want To See A Floopervisor. There Is No Reason I Can't Have My Poofs
You can see the tips of the “R”s if you zoom in. This is a normal sign where someone poorly photoshopped over the “R”s.
Oh Really, Then Why Do Mine Seem To Not Care And Just Getting Out Bed I Need To Warm Up And Stretch For Fear I'm Going To Pull A Big One
Found This Sign At A Local Shopping Center. I Guess If You Park And Go Shopping, They Will Tow Your Car. We Decided To Shop Elsewhere
Not only that, the maker of the sign assume that there may be a single owner (as opposed to owners') with multiple vehicles left unattended.
Paper Toilets Sound Like A Really Bad Idea
This Company In Australia Couldn’t Decide Which Spelling Of Barbecue To Use So It’s Covering All Bases
Where Am I Supposed To Park My Chipotle?
Do What Now?
My Favorite Christmas Coffee Cup
Where You At?
I will bet it's the food their eating that males them shits a chord.
I Spotted This Sign This Morning In Walgreens As I Was Struggling To Pick Up My Daughter’s Pain Medication
So, the pharmacist is handing out covid 19? Wonder how much my insurance will pay for that?
What Do They Quote?
This Happens To Me A Lot
When Sad Metropolitan Copywriters Try To Write Geordie
That Doesn't Sound Very Tasty
This Doesn't Look Right To Me
Do you see the other sign under the awning? They get their meat from a driving school. Those must be some tough instructors.
Driving Through Hope, AZ
Sitting At A Stoplight I Spotted This. It Took Me A Minute To Understand What They Were Advertising, But I Decided Against Eating The Chicken
I Stumbled Upon This Claim Yesterday, For Some Reason I Cannot Quite Define. Can Something Actually Be Designed To Be Authentic? Isn't That Contradictory?
Just Found This On My Door. Not Interested In Whatever It Is. I Do Want To Know If One Can Prequalify For Something That Is Active
Lost In Translation
CBS Needs A Better Spellchecker
This Sign
Sigh
Came across this little treasure: "[...] Melbourne is on roughly the same latitude as Athens" (https://www.we-love-melbourne.net/weather-melbourne.html) - No, it is not! There is a very big difference between 37° South and 37° North! Approximately the same (angular) distance from the equator as Athens? Sure, but come on.
Ecuador Ice Cream Shop
From CNN To Local News Shows, There Are Always Typos Like These. Spell Check Doesn't Fix Everything
I Take Delight In Garbled English On Clothing, As I Assume People Who Can Read Chinese Do At Tattoos Sported By People Who Can Not
I have a load of photos to share if there's interest in them, let me know, but here's the one I love best, beyond absurdity: keep calm and love bulldog. What were they thinking?
I Was Heading To Buy More Hayfever Tablets... Until An Ad Suggested That Not Taking Any Would Be Better
Finally, A Radio Station The Whole Fanily Can Listen To Together
So What Do You Do?
A Beautiful Display At The Checkout Counter In A Portland Maine Restaurant
You can buy lovely jewellery made from sea glass. This photo isn’t it… https://www.georgiamariejewellery.co.uk/sea-glass
Just Saw In Miami
This Is The Inner Label Of My Two Good Yogurt This Morning. I Can’t Decide Whether They Did It On Purpose To Make A Point About No Judgment Or If It Was An Editing Error
Also they market heavily on feeding other people but they only donate a fraction of profits.
5 Star Auto Sales
I Would Have Rotated The Letter R 90°
Ice Creams? Am I Missing Something?
Ice cream is a mass of ice cream, but ice creams are multiple single servings of ice cream. Captain Tryhard at work there.
I Was In An Office Building Today And Saw This. It Made Me Think: Doesn't "Uni" Mean One? Would The Sign Be More Accurate To Say "Multi" Or Something?
Thick & Durable
"Durable" implies something that will sustain continuous and/or lengthy use. Aluminum foil is typically only used once. In this case, I used it to line a sheet pan for oven bacon, and after the bacon was done, I threw the foil away. I would think a better word than "durable" would be "strong".
Okay, mocking people who do their best to help native English (US/UK) speakers out, visiting a foreign country, because they refuse to learn any other language "because everybody speaks English and it better be perfect, you stupid foreigners". If you complain about my English, better you learn to speak my language perfectly, first.
Sadly I bet most of these were done by native speakers
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Many of these were jokes; just a play on words. So they're actually clever.
Omg, when I speak French, I think I sound like most of these posts for the errors. My kid tells me that when I apologize for not speaking French properly in French, I don't say it correctly, and while I'm learning, my mistakes in apologizing prove my point- I don't speak French very well!
Okay, mocking people who do their best to help native English (US/UK) speakers out, visiting a foreign country, because they refuse to learn any other language "because everybody speaks English and it better be perfect, you stupid foreigners". If you complain about my English, better you learn to speak my language perfectly, first.
Sadly I bet most of these were done by native speakers
Load More Replies... Many of these were jokes; just a play on words. So they're actually clever.
Omg, when I speak French, I think I sound like most of these posts for the errors. My kid tells me that when I apologize for not speaking French properly in French, I don't say it correctly, and while I'm learning, my mistakes in apologizing prove my point- I don't speak French very well!
