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Despite the fact that we all have to eat pretty darn regularly, it’s still bizarrely easy to come across people who can’t cook anything that requires more than a few button presses on a microwave. However, to cut them some slack, motivation isn’t enough, there is a lot of skill involved in making a “just passable” meal, as some of these entries prove.
We’ve gathered some of the worst cooking fails from across the internet for you to enjoy. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and stories in the comments section below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I Think This Counts As A Hate Crime In The South
Carl Roberts 7 months ago
A) It's called "biscuits n' gravy" (as in "biscuits and gravy", NOT "biscuits in gravy) and B) You need to be arrested for that travesty
Forrest Hobbs 7 months ago
Upvoted Carl Roberts's downvoted post because hey, it's humour. 😜
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Forrest Hobbs 7 months ago
It seems to me that Southerners from Plymouth to Chelmsford would be chuckling every bit as much as Northerners. 😉
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
Our southern biscuits are fluffy and best hot/warm, not a cold cookie.
Janice Seagraves 7 months ago
On Facebook, someone from the UK asked about our Biscuits and gravy. "US people, why would you put gravy over your biscuits? Wouldn't biscuits be too sweet with gravy?" So, I explained that in the US, biscuits are more like dinner rolls. And the gravy is usually the type that is thick and white.
GalPalAl 7 months ago
a literal translation of what looks like English "biscuits" and some kind of gravy.
Annamarie Dodge 7 months ago
i thought everyone in both countries knew the difference in the term "biscuits"
Annamarie Dodge 7 months ago
i thought everyone in both countries knows the difference in the term biscuits
RELATED:
#2
When You Drink Too Much And Make Muffouts Instead Of Muffins
rorschach-penguin 7 months ago
I think that's cookie dough, not muffin batter, and they were trying to do that.
Load More Replies... Grenelda Thurber 7 months ago
I don't think anyone was trying to make muffins. That's how you make little bowls made of cookie. They just used too much cookie dough.
TerathNinir 7 months ago
The OP of this was high. BP, don't go lying about memes when it's only been a week since you last posted this. And trimming the meme to fit your narrative is also not cool.
The Other Guest 7 months ago
Looks like they were trying to make cookie bowls & used the wrong kind of dough. You really need something like sugar cookie or gingerbread dough, as those don't spread out the way chocolate chip does.
#3
Instead Of Cooking, Bro Attempted To Forge A Weapon Like No Other
TTorrest Author 7 months ago
Mauro went to bed, leaving a lava ball resting on a highly flammable dish towel, and yet couldn't understand why the house had been reduced to ash by the following morning.
Scott Rackley 7 months ago
500 degree oven, I'd say. 260 for the rest of humanity.
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Cooking isn't just following recipes, it's a subtle dance of timing, technique, and taste. And yet, with all the visibility of cooking shows and online tutorials, far too many remain intimidated enough that they never even start. Part of the reason is sheer complexity: even a humble stir-fry involves chopping vegetables of uniform size, measuring oil temperature, and managing stirring, seasoning, and heat adjustment all at once.
To a newcomer, it may seem like operating a tiny kitchen airplane without ever having learned to fly. Time constraint is an additional challenge. After a long day at work or school, the last thing many people want to do is hover around a stove peeling potatoes or de-stemming kale. To the instant satisfaction of a frozen meal or food-delivery service, cooking appears an onerous task.
#4
When You Ask Your Wife For Crunchy Croissants And She Gives You Coalssants Instead
Rick Murray 7 months ago
If I showed this to my co-workers, they would be stunned into silence and then start to cry. Croissants are practically a religion here in France.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
I'm feeling my eyes well up, and I'm not even French
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#5
Don’t Drink And Cook
Willow wolf! 7 months ago
It does look like a hockey puck… lets try it out to see if it WORKS as a puck
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Remi (He/Him) 7 months ago
Always set an alarm when you cook. You don't need to be drunk to get distracted
#6
Someone In My Group Chat Sent Me A Picture Of A "Cake" He Made
Leesa DeAndrea 7 months ago
The only thing I don't like about this cake is the peculiar color of the frosting.
When life gets busy, the mental bandwidth to cook, shop for single ingredients, and then navigate a multi-step recipe evaporates. It's simpler, psychologically as well as physically, to click "Order" than to worry about soup.
#7
Bacon Wrapped And Barbecue Glazed Justin Biebloaf
Michał Osiecki 7 months ago
he literally look like you cooked the real bieber and he got serious burns
#8
There Was An Attempt To Cook
artisticINSURRECTION 7 months ago
My brain isn't braining when I see this...how hot did it have to get to melt the pan AND the heater coils??? Usually pans like that are stove-to-oven safe, so it should hold up to crazy heat.
Janice Seagraves 7 months ago
When my brother-in-law lived with me, he left a pot on the stove, I'm lucky I came home in time to prevent that.
Renaissance man 7 months ago
That's a pan someone put on the stove and then left the house to go somewhere and forgot about.
#9
There Was An Attempt To Grill Some Ribs
DennyS (denzoren) 7 months ago
But like....how do they get to this point?
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 7 months ago
That poor poor animal. Had it's life taken away to be hacked up and then end up as...this. I hope the person responsible is appropriately haunted in retribution.
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
How dare you ruin perfectly good ribs. It's a crime against nature!!!!! 😭
ReenieTino 7 months ago
Consider yourself lucky! Eating off of THAT grill would have killed you!
Noah NEWMAN 7 months ago
charred to black, uneatable, smell makes me want to throw up bake off judges give a pass lol
artisticINSURRECTION 7 months ago
At least they remembered to take the connective tissue membrane off the back of the ribs. Wouldn't want them to be tough. Also, it doesn't look like these were actually cooked on that grill otherwise the area under the ribs would be black and covered in burned messiness.
Failure is ever-present in the mind of every amateur cook. Burned rice, undercooked chicken, or a curdled sauce can be dishearteningly irreversible, too expensive to waste and too time-consuming to redo. Even small mistakes confront issues of self-esteem: "If I couldn't even successfully make spaghetti without burning the garlic, how will I ever be able to tackle anything more complex?" Without early successes to cement self-confidence, most give up before they give themselves a fair chance.
#10
My First Attempt At Making Sushi
Anthony Elmore 7 months ago (edited)
A sharp blade and remember to pull/push (Safety say you should probably push away from you) the blade across rather than just applying downward pressure.
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Mreoww 7 months ago
Well you can still eat it with a spoon. And it still does look appetizing.
K Barnes 7 months ago
I would also eat this. I would have cut it with a sharp, not dull, blade myself.
Load More Replies... George Costanza 7 months ago
You need an actual sharp knife. Looks like your dull knife butchered this.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
I'm not going to say anything. I've never made sushi (I believe that food needs to experience the Maillard Reaction, or at least fire, prior to consumption) but I have seen it made and, honestly, I'd be proud of myself if I made sushi that looked like that. I'd be expecting worse.
#11
My Husband Insisted This Chicken Was Perceftly Cooked
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
Salmonella is not the worst of your worries. I was nearly killed by an attack of Campylobacter from undercooked chicken. (Severe diarrhea, severe dehydration, kidneys shut down, doctors rebooted them.) Yes, I *was* the chef, why do you ask?
Load More Replies... Lotekguy 7 months ago (edited)
Chicken tartare is not recommended by nine out of ten doctors who eat chicken.
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
That tenth doctor did not survive the experience.
Load More Replies... Karen Menard 7 months ago
Easy fix!! Dump it into the nuker with a little butter or oil and keep an eye on it. Dinner saved!!!!
Renaissance man 7 months ago
It is cooked perfectly! It's cooked perfectly for the cat or dog.
#12
Plastic Board
Littlemiss 7 months ago
My mother the week before... what idiot puts a glass dish in the oven with a plastic lid on???? I'd never do something so stupid! Guess who did it a week later and acted holier than thou.
Jackie Lulu 7 months ago
Anybody can make a mistake- overcook your BieberLoaf, add baking powder instead of soda. But THIS requires a whole other level of stupidity.
Karen Menard 7 months ago
Those fancy cutting boards are still just plastic.. I wondered if a wooden board would work. Try it!!!
Logistical obstacles are also involved. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a decent-sized kitchen. Small apartments, communal living arrangements, or limited counter space create meal preparation an infuriating puzzle. When the only cooking surface is one solitary hot plate, or the only knife is dull, even the most enthusiastic learner can become frustrated very fast.
#13
I Burnt My Bacon
Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
My dad would eat that. He always cooked his bacon in a cast iron skillet. He claimed he knew it was done when he couldn't see it in the pan anymore.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
I don't think self defence is going to get you off this charge
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Karen Menard 7 months ago
Looks like he added a mousie or two to the bacon. Maybe he invited a cat to dinner!
#14
Not The Plastic Melt
The Other Guest 7 months ago
Ah, thank you. I could tell it used to be a colander, but couldn't figure out why it was in the pan.
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PeepPeep the duck 7 months ago
That’s crazy - and if someone doesn’t know - if you don’t have a steamer, use a bowl, plop your dumplings in, add a few mls of water and put another bowl on top and steam in the microwave. ❤️ please don’t waste delicious dumplings
artisticINSURRECTION 7 months ago
Step 1, go to the dollar store and get a metal steamer basket. Step 2, get out of the kitchen as ask someone else to cook.
#15
My Daughter Asked Me For A Unicorn Cake
Upstaged75 7 months ago
Looks like it's from the Peppa Pig universe - where all the animals have sideways faces.
Grenelda Thurber 7 months ago
It's a great try. Your daughter probably loved it. The frosting split though.
Karen Bryan 6 months ago
Well, if "unicorn" can mean it's the only one on earth, then--mission accomplished.
Add to that the requirement of buying and storing a multitude of spices and staples, typically in wasteful amounts for one or two people, and the whole project can look out of money and out of room. Cultural and family traditions are another factor to consider. Children raised in households where someone else cooked may never pick up the habit or even consider it their responsibility to do so.
#16
Accidentally Made Alien Food
Rice noodle stir fry with shrimp and red cabbage. Couldn’t look at it, but everybody had seconds.
izzfshahzad 7 months ago
Well it certainly looks liable to make u gagh...
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Uncle Panda 7 months ago
Eating strangely discolored shrimp may very well be life altering.
Load More Replies... artisticINSURRECTION 7 months ago
The REAL reason that RFKjr wants to ban certain artificial food colorings!
#17
Made My Kid A Mickey Mouse Pancake
Malamutes 6 months ago
Hell, I'm 55 and I'M afraid of Mickey Mouse now...
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AverageCommenter (she/they) 7 months ago
It’s actually cute! It’s not that creepy. I like them. I want to eat them so bad.
#18
That's One Way To Propose
Mark Buxbaum 7 months ago
I truly don't understand how people 'accidentally' lose their wedding ring. I've been married 43 years, have never ever had my ring slip off.
ILoveMySon 7 months ago
Mine slipped off when it was very cold outside and I went inside to put away groceries and bags. I realized when I washed my hands and was frantic. I found it at the bottom of the bags I reuse! I was crying while searching.
Load More Replies... Seeing a parent or guardian get dinner ready with ease can inadvertently perpetuate the myth that cooking is someone else's responsibility. Without being exposed to the process regularly, measuring, testing, adjusting, cooking abilities never develop, and the self-imposed gap between "chef" and "non-chef" widens.
#19
Had A Bad Day So I Made Some Comfort Food… Oh
Living Example 7 months ago
And it does look comfortable . Wasn't that the point?
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Karen Menard 7 months ago
I did this once. Made my younger son's favorite German Choc Pie on a visit and coming out of the oven I dropped it and it shot all over the floor.. My wonderful hubs cleaned it all up while I stared at the remnants deflated. It's a 1.5 hour recipe. And at least the dish wasn't broken, thank you, Deta!
#20
Put Blue Food Coloring On My Chicken Because I’m An Adult And I Do What I Want
TheForrestGreene (he/they/it) 7 months ago
i just spit water all over my keyboard
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Michael Largey 7 months ago
Sir, I think you've misunderstood what is meant by Chicken Cordon Bleu.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
On the other hand, they've nailed Chicken Cordon Bleagghhh.
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 7 months ago
What ever you do, do NOT look behind you after going in the morning. Blue Moon ice cream has the same effect.
Renaissance man 7 months ago
Just for the heck of it one year when I made my turkey gravy for Thanksgiving, I had a green food coloring… No one touched it… Including me.
Roxy222uk 7 months ago
Good luck eating it. When I was a teenager I made myself a banana omelette (I invented it and I thought it was amazing) and decided to put blue food colouring in it. It was so weird because it smelt, tasted, and felt the same, but I only managed a couple of bites and then my body was done.
#21
When I Was A Baker, Someone Left A Loaf Of Bread In The Oven, Which They Also Left On Overnight
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
I can hear that throbbing noise as the hellish red light pulsates, as in oh so many horror movies.
Finally, the real recipe itself can be a hindrance. Most recipes assume some familiarity with some of the words like "deglaze," "sauté," or "blanch," and leave novices wondering where to begin. Ambiguous timings ("cook until golden") and vague ingredient lists ("salt and pepper, to taste") give little concrete instruction. Even a single ambiguous step is sufficient to leave a beginner on hold, discouraging future tinkering.
#22
But Were They Good Is The Question
Mreoww 7 months ago (edited)
Forgive me my ignorance I don’t bake much, but will that even work? Aren’t cookies supposed to be flat and thin to properly bake? These look thick and chunky, I feel like the insides would still be mushy if it worked. I mean yeah it clearly didn’t work and they flattened out anyway, but would it ever work?
The Other Guest 7 months ago
It's theoretically possible, but you have to use a dough that doesn't spread out too much & not make them quite as thick as these.
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#23
Guess What This Was
#24
My Wife Tried To Make Cinnamon Toast. She's Not Allowed Near The Oven Anymore
This was quite a few years back and she's still banned from the kitchen.
dhi 6 months ago (edited)
Yeah because men never pretend to be bad at stuff to force women to do all the work 🙄 I think P1 is just mad he doesn't have a wife 😂
Load More Replies... QueenKittyCat 7 months ago
Why are they blue? I mean how are they blue? Or is the correct term blackened?
Glix Drap 7 months ago
For cinnamon toast? Just asking as I have no idea if you can do it in a toaster.
Load More Replies... April Pickett 7 months ago
She probably likes it that way. Does she cook something every so often, to keep your resolve up?
But cooking remains one of the most gratifying life skills, one that nourishes body and soul. Overcoming these obstacles tends to start small: mastering one easy dish, investing in a quality knife, or observing a video tutorial in real-time.
#25
My Cousin And I Made Raspberry Marshmallows. They Look Like Raw Meat
The Doom Song 7 months ago
haha I'd bag them up and eat them in public to see other people's reactions!
Auntriarch 7 months ago (edited)
Are you the bloke who ate carved carrots from a fish tank?
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Mimi M 7 months ago
I used to love raw meat as a kid, still do. My dad used to sing a song about goblins ('we eat! raw meat!') whenever I'd do it. Like people who snatch bits of cookie dough or cake batter, I'd snatch bits of seasoned chopped meat - and I still eat bits of it when making burgers.
#26
Time For A New Cake Tin
Charity Angel 7 months ago
Also clearly not lined, which is rather essential for a loose-bottomed tin
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 7 months ago
I'm wincing at the clean up that would be required. Thankfully the top looks flat but the buttons, the door, the seals, and all those little joins where that stuff will seep.
BeepBoop is Lonely (she/they) 7 months ago (edited)
you don't use dough for a cake..? Or a cheesecake which is generally what a springform pan is used for (I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude I'm just confused)
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#27
My Friend Made Pizza
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
I have said many times that the glory of pizza is in its vast variety, that pizza is the culinary equivalent of the Vulcan 'IDIC' philosophy (Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations). But this demonstrates irrefutably that you have to draw the line somewhere.
Uncle Panda 7 months ago
Up until today, I'd have said it was impossible to offend me with pizza.
Seeing tiny victories, perfectly boiled eggs, a nicely seared pan vegetable, or dessert that is capable of standing, can lead to a sense of ability and interest. With patience, practice, and an ability to stomach the occasional kitchen disaster, even the most unwilling of beginners can learn to master the cooking skills, and discover that what was once the source of dread can become a haven of comfort and creativity instead.
#28
Accidentally Made Cookies From An AI Recipe
My mom sent me a recipe for red velvet cookies for me to try and didn’t think much of it. I never look at the text and pictures that closely I just skip straight to the recipe, so it didn’t register that it was AI.
The dough was so soft and sticky even after freezing it overnight (recipe said chilling in the fridge for an hour or 2 would be sufficient)! It stuck to everything so much and kept melting that we just said s***w it and just put in the oven as one big sheet cookie.
I looked more closely at the website while it was baking and it’s so obviously AI it’s honestly hilarious. The uncooked dough tasted great but trying it now it tastes like a bad brownie. Texture is really weird too.
Anyway check your recipes, folks, or else you might make the cookie equivalent of the Elephant’s Foot from Chernobyl.
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
On the cook's face, when they realized their mistake.
Load More Replies... #29
This Burnt Turkey
QueenKittyCat 7 months ago
Now I'm thinking of the first season of "American Horror Story". Remember Rubber Man? That is way too shiny.
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Daniel Atkins 7 months ago
When you cut it does it do the same thing as the one in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation?
Auntriarch 7 months ago
But the juices in the bottom of the tray are not burnt, how did they manage that
#30
Made Pancakes With A Blueberry Compote And Then Thought It Would Be Fine To Make Scrambled Eggs In The Same Pan. I Don’t Think I Can Eat This
Mreoww 7 months ago
Grey rarely ever looks good. Other than The Grey Stuff, grey things look mouldy.
BobTheGasoline 7 months ago
"TRY THE GREY STUFF, IT'S DELICIOUS. DON'T BELIEVE ME, ASK THE DISHES..."
Load More Replies... #31
My Wife Made Muffins
The dairy free cream cheese did not do well.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Baby batter.... 😂😂😂 Dammit I now have to wipe hot chocolate off the floor. 😉
Load More Replies... That tired person 7 months ago
JUST SPIT MY BUBBLE TEA THATS TOO FUNNY OMG
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#32
Made Homemade Mozzarella Sticks In My Air Fryer
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Been there, done that, cleaned up the mess. I think air fryers are too intense for cheese filled things.
#33
My Homemade Protein Bar That I Nibble On Everyday During Work Hours
The Doom Song 7 months ago
Looks like something I picked up after my dog at the park this morning.....
Geoffrey Scott 7 months ago
First thought was it looks like it's already been ate once.
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Marleina Hershberg 7 months ago
Keep eye contact with someone as you eat what looks like dung LOL and don't forget to make MMMM sounds
#34
Tried To Make Some Flourless Chocolate Cupcakes For My DnD Group’s Gluten Intolerant Friend. This Was The Result
Glix Drap 7 months ago
Some people would say this is God's way of telling you that DnD is satanic and should be banned. Mosr other people would say have another try.
Phaiax 7 months ago
I think most people who are talking about God's ways would aim their dissent at the gluten intolerant friend.
Load More Replies... Charity Angel 7 months ago
It's not bad for a first attempt. Flourless is tricky - you need to *really* know your oven
Renaissance man 7 months ago
Muffins that are made gluten-free never turn out to taste worth a d**n. Better for your gluten intolerant friend to go buy something from a bakery
Uncle Panda 7 months ago
OK is my guess. I'd be tempted to break them up, crisp them in the oven, and say I did it on purpose.
Load More Replies... #35
Making Eggs With A Little Pepper
Sadly I was the last one to use the pepper making dinner night before so this is all on me.
Charity Angel 7 months ago
And this is why we shake the pepper (or salt, spice, herb) into our hand before taking a pinch...
#36
My Boyfriend's Attempt At Making Me Cupcakes For My Birthday
April Pickett 7 months ago
Just throw the whole pan away. Trying to clean that will take time, and you'll still have a mess.
Charity Angel 7 months ago
Agreed, even my good, non-stick pan wouldn't clean properly after that, let alone a cheap one
Load More Replies... #37
My Dad Said He Would Make Dinner Today And Grilled The Expensive Bullet Steak I Bought. This Is The Result
Premislaus de Colo 7 months ago
As the saying goes, this isn't well-done - this is congratulations
#38
"Grilled Cheese" In An Air Fryer
Mimi M 7 months ago
God, it's so easy to make grilled cheese in a pan, why this monstrosity? And now this is making me crave a proper grilled cheese!
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
Not to be smug, but I had one this morning. I lie, I am being totally smug.
Load More Replies... The Other Guest 7 months ago (edited)
My mom used to make beans on toast, and the cheese would puff up like that under the broiler (although admittedly not to *that* degree). The dark brown bits were the best part! I'm more put off by the dry-a$$ toast underneath it than I am by the poofy cheese. (Edited to thwart censor-bot)
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Oh my. Please do yourself a favour and get a nice hunk of cheddar instead of whatever the hell that is (and, no, something that does that is *not* "cheese" by any reasonable definition).
#39
I Got Drunk And Tried To Make Mac And Cheese Last Night But I Accidentally Passed Out On The Couch For 3 Hours
Uncle Panda 7 months ago (edited)
That's homemade (yet not necessarily authentic) Dwarf Battle Mac-n-Cheese. Note the carbon-enhanced cutting edge and the razor fragmentation noodles.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
Or is it a favourite weapon of the Nac Mac Cheese clan
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#40
Chickens Legs Cooked With Red Cabbage: Never Again
#41
I Tried Making Dumplings
Robin Roper 7 months ago
Having seen just born kittens and puppies, there is a similarity in appearance that is off putting to an appetite.
April Pickett 7 months ago
Not too bad. I buy mine, and they cook up really well. Of course, the directions are on the bag.
George Costanza 7 months ago
Meh, they don't look too bad. No one's first homemade dumplings look great. But hopefully they tasted great.
#42
Tried To Make Chicken Pot Pies
No idea if it was Pyrex or not. Thought the noise was the racks settling, but guess not. Not our place as we were staying at a friend's in-law suite.
detective miller's hat 7 months ago
My oven racks make a kind of clangy noise sometimes as the oven heats up.
Load More Replies... Bryn 7 months ago
if it was newer maybe. The newer pyrex is not made the same way and has been known to shatter more than the old stuff
Load More Replies... artisticINSURRECTION 7 months ago
Definitely not Pyrex if it broke like that. Pyrex are amazingly tough.
Deep One 7 months ago
You have to be careful of Pyrex theses days. The name was sold to a chinese company who changed the glass recipe. Buy old stuff from second hand stores. Supposedly the old stuff has an uppercase "P": "Pyrex" and the new stuff has a lowercase "p": "pyrex" the new stuff does not handle thermal shock as well as the old stuff.
#43
The Night My Husband Made Burgers For The First Time. He Set Off The Fire Alarm 4 Times
Geoffrey Scott 7 months ago
It's ok to turn the burner on stun to warm the pan, may want to turn it down to 5 after a couple minutes.
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
He must have had the burner on high and walked away to have 1 side burnt to a crisp and the other side raw. Probably also ruined the pan. Either ban him from the kitchen or get/give him cooking lessons.
Karen Menard 7 months ago
For those of us who sometimes have to temporarily switch the darn thing off when grilling steaks indoors, I salute you!!!
George Costanza 7 months ago
Chances are you don't have an above the stove vent that goes outside. Which you need to cook anything at high heat inside.
#44
I Cooked Lobster For My Wife For Valentine's Day
Her lobster was fine while I just had potatoes, asparagus and wine. Happy Valentine's Day!
#45
To Cook Bacon In The Microwave
Started cooking bacon in the air fryer but it set off the smoke alarms. Tried to finish cooking it in the microwave but got sidetracked.
That started out as 3 strips of bacon. The 2 pieces you can’t make out were disintegrated. Only had eggs and one piece of (delicious, well done!) bacon that morning.
The odor is still there a week later.
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
Do it in the oven, comes out great every time. Look on Google for baked bacon.
Karen Menard 7 months ago
You put clean paper towels on the bottom, then raw bacon, then a layer of clean paper towels and you nuke it in increments smaller than 20 mins! Good luck
Renaissance man 7 months ago
For four slice of bacon you cook at five minutes in the microwave
Geoffrey Scott 7 months ago
Pan lined with foil, center rack, high broil, timer on 7 minutes. My need to tweak the time some.
#46
Went To My In-Laws For Dinner And This Is The Chicken They Served
Regina Holt 7 months ago
Do they want you to divorce their child? Or have their child get the insurance money?
Binny Tutera 7 months ago
My sweet MIL was not much of a cook. She once took a frozen piece of round steak, put it on a cookie sheet and popped it into the oven with NO seasoning at all. She then baked it until it was cooked through and grey. We did not eat it and I made it into soup the next day with a LOT of doctoring up.
Renaissance man 7 months ago (edited)
Baked chicken without skin is just nasty if it's not browned. If they would've base that with a little butter about every 15 minutes it would've looked a lot better.
#47
In Case You Ever Wondered What Happens When You Turn The Microwave On But Forget To Put Something In It
Beth Wheeler 7 months ago
When I worked Radiology front desk I thought I smelled smoke and went to track it down. It was in the Ultrasound work room and a Radiologist put a biscuit in the microwave to warm it up. It was a fool wrapper with paper backing After that the techs would let Carol use the microwave until they checked what she had.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
Before anyone jumps on your autocorrect putting fool instead of foil, I think fool works better in Carol's case
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#48
Made Some Fish And Chips
Rick Murray 7 months ago
This is exactly why I like my fish to be a nondescript white thing covered in batter. I just couldn't bring myself to eat a creature that looks that done with everything, too much empathy.
Anthony Elmore 7 months ago
Throw that poor zombie back in the sea/lake. #UnlivesMatter
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#49
Little Brother Made An Egg Burger
#50
I Tried Making A Baja Blast Sauce And It Got A Jelly Consistency. This Entire Thing Was A Disaster
WednesdayAddams'HashbrownOrder 7 months ago
I feel like there may be a sinus infection involved in this too.
Load More Replies... P1 No-Name 7 months ago
Ectoplasm? I am sure this was a 'character' in the original Ghostbusters movie.
Glix Drap 7 months ago
Come now, you all thinking it but are too polite to say what it looks like.
Michał Osiecki 7 months ago
I dont know whats wrong with you, I immediately thought of molten uranium glass with a little bit of blacklight XDDD
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#51
Did You Forget To Take The Plastic Off The Cheese
Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
Looks like that stuff folks like to call cheese - except it's not. It's some highly processed whatever.
#52
Too Lazy To Pipe Out Macarons. Baked Them In A Sheet Instead
P1 No-Name 7 months ago
How did they taste? You can cover all manner of baking disasters with whipped cream & fresh berries...
Joshua David 7 months ago
I hate these so much. I want to love them. They are the most attractive looking cookie i ever saw and i just cant. Sad.
#53
I Tried To Turn My Cornbread Out Of The Skillet And The Skillet Kept All The Crust
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
Have you tried cooking spray? One brand name is PAM. They even have a flour-based spray for baking.
#54
Burnt My Pizza. If You Have Any Ideas On How To Get The Smell Out Of Everything, Let Me Know
P1 No-Name 7 months ago
Or set fire to the house, so it all smell the same.
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#55
First Time Attempting Homemade Ravioli’s
Yeah, I'm never making pasta dough ever again.
George Costanza 7 months ago
There's zero chance those were ever going to be ravioli. WTH are they doing on tinfoil? Did you bake them? Why are they all weird shapes? Did you roll out the dough thinly? What the hell is even inside them??
Rick Murray 7 months ago (edited)
Ravioli isn't a stuffed biscuit and it isn't baked and there's no way that was ever called "pasta dough".
#56
Asked My Partner To Make Me A Hot Dog
#57
Do Not Attempt To Replace The Flour In A Cookie Recipe With Protein Powder
Mike F 7 months ago
This read like those "I don't understand why my stuff came out like 💩. I only replaced the flour with sawdust and used grape jelly instead of sugar and it was terrible!"
The Other Guest 7 months ago
Yup, this one definitely belongs on the I Didn't Have Eggs sub-Reddit
Load More Replies... #58
I’m 52 And Still Can’t Boil Or Peel An Egg Right
Carman Davis 7 months ago
Cover eggs with water. Cover with lid. Bring to high boil. When boiling turn burner off. Leave eggs sitting there for a minimum 30 minutes. Drain water. Run cold water over eggs a couple times then drain all water. Take handle of pot and knock eggs around to get them to crack. Waa laa perfect eggs. The longer you cook or boil eggs the better they peel.
HistoryNerd 7 months ago
Voila (just fyi, waa laa also got the point across)
Load More Replies... April Pickett 7 months ago
Don't use brand-new eggs. If the expiration date is less than 2 weeks away, that's good. The older the eggs are, they will peel easily. Crack the shells, and then roll them on the cutting board to break up the shells, and they should do fine.
Rick Murray 7 months ago
I suck at this too. So I cheat. I break the eggs into a cup, mix them all up, throw in some milk, mix more, then pour into a hot frying pan while continually stirring with a silicone spatula. Scrambled eggs I can do. 😉
#59
French Onion Soup
#61
Morning Waffles Did Not Go As Expected
Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
Looks a bit like my first and last attempt to make waffles. I stick to pancakes afterwards.
#62
When The Wife Cooks Salt Potatoes
Thee8thsense 7 months ago
When you boil potatoes, or anything, if you place a wooden spoon across the top of the pot, it prevents boil-over.
The Other Guest 7 months ago
TIL what salt potatoes are. They sound delicious! As for OP's wife, she should have used a larger pot or fewer potatoes.
#63
What Am I Doing Wrong?
Made chicken in the sous vide for the first time. I thought it was supposed to be juicy.
Edda Kamphues 7 months ago
Right. Where would you like me to start? And what are the funky marks anyway...
Elena Witch 7 months ago
They vacuumed too much. It squeezed any juice from the meat, and the bags were so snug they left marks.
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Binny Tutera 7 months ago
Yeah, sous vide is a water bath. The chicken would look white, but be tender. If they did it on that cooking sheet, that is not what they think.
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#64
Sister Accidentally Defrosted Chili Instead Of Spaghetti Sauce. Slapped A Slice Of Cheddar In There And Now It's Mexican Spaghetti
Damned_Cat 7 months ago
That's basically what they call Cincinnati chili (although they have a special recipe for it in Cincinnati)
OG 7 months ago
Cincinnati chili (usually) has no beans in it (only as a topping, along with cheddar and onion)
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Wang Zhuang 7 months ago
Chili spaghetti is a thing, actually. Nothing really wrong with this, other than that the cheese needs to be melted more
#65
I Tried Cooking A Corn Dog In Oil For The First Time. Never Again
Huddo's sister 7 months ago
My dad did this the first time he tried cooking a chicko roll in oil the first time.
Wang Zhuang 7 months ago
Corn dogs are generally cooked in oil, OP just did it wrong. No need to give up, just watch the oil temperature and the food more carefully next time
#66
Fiancé Spent 4 Hours Preparing Soup From Scratch, Only For The Glass Bowl To Break In The Soup
Mike F 7 months ago
Isn't the idea to put the soup in the bowl rather than the other way around?
Anthony Elmore 7 months ago
Yeah, but if you do that you don't get that nice boiled bowl flavor.
Load More Replies... #67
About To Call The Family To Dinner When The Pot Broke
Boiling hot zuppa tuscana all over the stove, behind the stove, under the stove, and all over the floor.
Edda Kamphues 7 months ago
How on earth did you break a Dutch Oven? Instructions are in the name: Dutch Oven, not Dutch Stove Top...
#68
Feta Cheese, Tomato, And Mushroom "Spring Rolls" With Sweet Chili Sauce
Patrick Whittington 7 months ago
Honestly they probably weren't bad. if you minced everything they'd be amazing lol.
Wang Zhuang 7 months ago
Agreed, they should have just chopped up the ingredients better
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Mark Alexander 7 months ago
Rolling rice wrappers takes practice. A LOT of practice. But they taste great even when they fall apart, so who cares. Keep at it.
Charity Angel 7 months ago
This is why spring rolls are fried, not steamed. Kudos for using proper rice wrappers, though - most would use filo pastry instead.
KM 7 months ago
You can, but you dont't need to steam or fry sprig rolls, just put the rice paper into water for a couple of seconds. Which is exactly what the OP did. It just takes some practice to roll them prettily.
Load More Replies... #69
Wife Is Boiling Burgers. Please Help Us Settle This
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
Wife is British? I can't think of any other even remotely plausible explanation. Unless wife is angling for a divorce...
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#70
I Tried Making Soup For Mother’s Day
It was my first time making soup. Will not attempt again.
April Pickett 7 months ago
That's good of you. What is that thing on the left that looks like fungus?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
OP on Reddit said: "Chicken soup!😁 it’s a shiitake mushroom and some meat I found in my fridge that should be chicken! I wished I put a egg in but we ran out of eggs 2) I am not that sure what went wrong haha I’ll try differently next time but might have been over boiling and the ingredients"
Load More Replies... #71
There Was An Attempt To Cook Brownies As A High Altitude
Made from scratch brownies following Martha Stewart and snoop dogs bow wow recipe. Forgot I was visiting my sister in the mountains of Colorado.
#72
Made That Cheese And Onion Sandwich From That British Pub For Lunch
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
Looks like one of Compo Simmonite's specials. ('Last of the Summer Wine')
#73
A Cake Baked Inside Of A Pumpkin
It was draining onto the dessert table. I’m sorry in advance for your nightmares.
#74
My Friend’s Dinner. He Says Seasoning Food "Just Isn’t Necessary"
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
He may be *technically* correct, in that it isn't strictly *necessary*, but it is *kinda* necessary if you want to, you know, actually be able to choke the food down and *enjoy* it, rather than having it make you long for the sweet embrace of the afterlife. In this case, 'technically correct' is nowhere NEAR 'the best correct'.
Geoffrey Scott 7 months ago
Melted butter, drub the tenderloins through the butter and coat with potato flakes. Even add some parmesan to the coating.
Edda Kamphues 7 months ago
Sorry, but that looks like something that should be in a big jar of formaldehyde.
#75
I Guess That's Why It's Called Ground Chicken
I just cooked and seasoned it, 3 servings were supposed to go in the fridge.
#76
Fried Egg But I Put The Oil After The Egg
#77
Forgot To Add Cocoa Powder To Brownie Recipe
#78
I Can’t Get Pancakes Right For Some Reason
Bill Swallow 7 months ago
Yeah, that looks like a pan that's too hot. Might also need to add a bit of cooking oil / bacon grease on the pan to prevent sticking. (Don't add it until the pan is somewhat cooler, or you'll smoke yourself out.)
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Glen Ellyn 7 months ago
I always make pancakes on a non-stick griddle so they're cooked at the proper temperature. Also, I don't have to deal with flipping them over, hoping they don't catch on the side of the pan.
#79
My Sister Followed The 4.8 Star Fried Rice Recipe As Written. 1 Cup Rice To 12 Cups Water Boiled For 30 Minutes, Strained, Then Steamed For 10 Minutes
Wang Zhuang 7 months ago
Um, how can you make fried rice if you only boil, strain and steam it? Where is the frying part?
TeenieMeanie 7 months ago
Yeah…for fried rice you have to start with cold cooked rice that’s been dried out a little. Using freshly steamed results in mushy fried rice.
Patrick Whittington 7 months ago
always read reviews and make sure they don't sound like they were written by a robot. lol
George Costanza 7 months ago
First of all, you can't make fried rice with fresh rice. Just not how it works. Make rice, store it in the fridge for 4-5 days, they make fried rice. Fried rice needs slightly dried out rice, not fresh sticky rice. And that amount of water makes ZERO sense for cooking any sort of rice.
Ace 7 months ago
Hadn't they ever cooked rice before? 30 minutes boiling plus ten steaming... should have been obvious that it would just turn to mush.
The Other Guest 7 months ago
"Hadn't they ever cooked rice before?" Completely plausible that no, they hadn't.
Load More Replies... #80
This Dinner Took Me 30 Minutes To Make And The Oven Light Bulb Shattered
Jallamedalla 7 months ago (edited)
What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with that!
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#81
My Girlfriend Is Cooking Eggs With Pasta To Save Time
The Other Guest 7 months ago
Eggs & pasta have different cook times; as long as one adjusts for that I don't see a problem either.
Load More Replies... OG 7 months ago
Sometimes eggs have feces or feathers on them, and even if you clean them very well (who really cleans eggs before cooking?), It's still gross.
#82
Looks Like A Piece Of Cardboard
#83
Yesterday's Roast At MIL's. Heard A Loud Crack In The Oven
Roast dinner at the mother in law's is always a game of chance, but this was unexpected. Poor luck and divine intervention all at the same time.
#84
Mother In Law Made Aunt Bethany’s Jello
Didn’t expect anyone to go for it. I did to force my brother in laws hands.
P1 No-Name 7 months ago
It looks like something that grew in a petri dish! Or maybe a colour blindness test
#85
My Mom’s Fat-Free, Carb-Free "Bread"
April Pickett 7 months ago
That looks like the hardtack they sell in the cracker aisle. It's good.
#86
Girlfriend Is Out Of Town, So I "Cooked". It Ain't That Good
Rick Murray 7 months ago
Or failing that just chuck some grated cheddar in there and mix. I've made stuff not unlike this (including breaking up a frozen burger and cooking it with the pasta so I don't have a greasy frying pan to clean up). But used peas instead of corn.
Load More Replies... #87
I Have Wildly Miscalculated My Pasta To Sauce Ratio
Rick Murray 7 months ago
No, that's good. Even better to put that red slime in a little bowl on the side where it can be safely ignored.
#88
Well Thats Half My Dinner In The Sink
Rick Murray 7 months ago
I could eat that many. Knøb of butter, sprinkle of salt, yummy.
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 7 months ago
Only acceoptable place for peas IMO, though I DO love split pea soup?
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What do you think ?
The Doom Song 7 months ago
Well I guess some people should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen
Rick Murray 7 months ago
I don't have a picture because it was back in the days of Fidonet, but the awful gaslighting narcissist (and I'm using those words in the clinical definition) that I had the misfortune of living with for a while managed to set fire to a tin of soup. Just, you know, take a moment to appreciate how awful one must be to manage to cause something that is mostly *water* to turn into actual flames and acrid smoke.
۞_shinyhop_۞ 7 months ago
These were fun! (And taught me a couple tips of what NOT to do in the future)
Ruth Watry 6 months ago
A lot of these look fake (severely burnt food), unless there are a lot of people without smoke detectors in their homes.
The Doom Song 7 months ago
Well I guess some people should not be allowed anywhere near a kitchen
Rick Murray 7 months ago
I don't have a picture because it was back in the days of Fidonet, but the awful gaslighting narcissist (and I'm using those words in the clinical definition) that I had the misfortune of living with for a while managed to set fire to a tin of soup. Just, you know, take a moment to appreciate how awful one must be to manage to cause something that is mostly *water* to turn into actual flames and acrid smoke.
۞_shinyhop_۞ 7 months ago
These were fun! (And taught me a couple tips of what NOT to do in the future)
Ruth Watry 6 months ago
A lot of these look fake (severely burnt food), unless there are a lot of people without smoke detectors in their homes.
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