My brother and mother no longer speak. My mom is an arsehole so I understand why he cut her off. I have minimal contact.

The thing is, he's getting a divorce, has met a new woman (who I love and is 100 percent better than his soon to be ex) and has had a child with the new partner. My mother literally has a grandchild she doesn't know about and I'm sworn to secrecy, which I will respect.

My dad recently passed away. He and my mum were married for over 50 years. My uncle (mum’s brother and only living relative) said he wasn’t sure he could come to the funeral as he had bought cinema tickets for that evening. The funeral was at 2pm. My mum is now kicking off that I won’t invite him to my wedding but if Superman was more important than my dad, I’m not wasting space on him at my celebration.

My mum and brother don’t speak because he lent her his car and she sold it to buy a new one.

I admire your confidence. If I were that consistently wrong, I don’t think I’d have the courage to keep talking.

Growing up there was a church whose bell tower was directly across from my bedroom window. I got tired of getting woke early on Sundays so one day I climbed up the bell tower and took the clapper out of the bell.