15Kviews
Hey Pandas, Tell Me You’re From Your Country Without Telling Me You’re From Your Country (Closed)
15Kviews
Description or something, idk.
This post may include affiliate links.
Sorry.
I’ve been asked if I’m Canadian because I apologize too much haha, so Canada???
A robber walks into a convenient store but before he pulls out his gun everyone else in the store pulls out their guns first.
Yesterday I made friends with a large venomous spider. Today I made friends with a small venomous spider. Tomorrow I’m going to find spiders everywhere, and buff kangaroos
Always mistaken with the country where kangaroos live
No, I'm not hungry. No, you're not the first to think of that brilliant joke.
I don't work in IT, elephants after not my ride, snakes don't dance on the roads, my city is Silicon Valley 2, most of us speak 4-5 native languages and English is our main language in school and college. To the surprise of many outsiders, our English and grammar is excellent.
Hi! Welcome to your average restaurant! Would you like a large, an extra large, or an EXTRA large?
100% US. We like our restaurant food just like our people....way bigger than necessary.
bo’le o’ wo’ah
is chewsday innit
tea
lots of pubs
tea
I think this is meant to be Britain by someone who's not British?! What on Earth is the first thing here?? And Where's the fish and chips without we can't survive?? 🤣
We're an American excuse to get very drunk once a year
I don't associate with my northern neighbor. Also we don't eat cats as often as you'd think.
The country where everyone thinks we sit on the couch in lederhosen all day long on some mountain, get paid for doing nothing, eat sauerkraut and yodel on our cuckoo clocks.
Wait...are you saying that y'all DON'T? Ach du meine Güte!
We invented legos, constantly mistaken for our neighbours, love our bikes, and most of us is just as depressed as our weather.
On behalf of parents everywhere who have twisted their ankles in the dark on legos left on the floor by their spoiled children, just know that I'm looking at your people sternly and with my brows deeply furrowed.
Land of the mighty "T's": Tequila, Tacos and Tamales 😁👌
Proper (pre-covid) social distancing between strangers waiting in bus stops is five meters, but in sauna hips must touch.
“No it is not advised to take pictures with the buffaloes, yes they will kill you if you want a selfie, no I am not trying to take away your experience for this trip” common phrases where I live
I can speak waray waray and tagalog.
Recipe for disaster,
1 cup of depression.
10 tablespoons of homophobia.
1/8 teaspoon of happiness.
1 pound of racism.
2 cups of debt.
2 pounds of inequality.
4 tablespoons of homelessness.
A pinch of excitement.
5 1/2 cups of guns.
4 cups of abandonment.
5 tablespoons of suicide.
7 pounds of unfair health insurance.
And for a garnish, police brutality.
Mix that all up and you get my country.
Sorry for making it so dark, but it is where I live.
We have coffeeshops all over the country where nobody orders coffee.
We have thousands of curries, not just one. We don't ride elephants. And no we don't do the rope tricks. There's much more than just slums in our country.
Go 3 miles and turn left at the 2nd McDonalds. Walmart will be on your right.
A police car changed to the right lane when the cops saw me getting nearer in the rear mirror with around 240 on my speedo and let me overtook without any consequences
i love it :)
Had an 8 k bill for er visit that lasted 3 hours and got no medication
Clearly the US--although that 3 hour wait feels unusually brief for American ER visits. ...
Wait, other countries have the internet?
Every time I tell somebody where I live they asked why I'm not black. Or if we have technology. Or the most common if I live with lions.
*HONK* *HONK * *HISSSS HISSSSSSSS* *HONK* HONK* zzzzzzzzzzz *SMACK* zzzzzzzzzz*SMACK* SMACK *
Honks and hisses are geese. The zzzz are mosquitoes and they're getting smacked.
Fancy a brew?
Queen for 50 years and a mermaid in the harbour...
Growing up, I had a geyser in my front yard and a glacier in the back yard and a ton of sheep wandering the pasture between.
Beer and depression
A lot of strikes, and haute couture.
School system is broken, government is broken, economy is broken, HELP I WANNA GET OUT
Wiedźmin 😎
We regularly get left off world maps even though our land area is larger than the UK.
I would like to apologize to the rest of the world for 2016-2020.
With my wooden shoes I used to go to the windmill to get tulips and cheese but nowadays I just smoke loads of weed 😉
The part of the world that overdosed on freedom
I once saw a gun store next to a chuck-e-cheese
WhAt. pEoPLe ThInK
I feel like all the USA contributions I have seen on this list so far are from Texas, Florida, Louisiana (bc I saw Mardi Gras mentioned) or just the south in general.
YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!
Yes, we put mayo on our fries. And stop calling ‘em French fries. Ain’t nothing French about ‘em. Just a couple of American WW soldiers eating fries while hearing someone speak French and thinking they were in France. They weren’t.
Fish and chips
Yorkshire puds, shepherds pie, brolly, cuppa, corgis, fry’s chocolate… need I go on?
You had me at Yorkshire Pudding...then lost me at Shepherd's Pie....but then I rallied again for the Corgis.
I have 30,000$ in student debt and own several assault rifles
It nearly always rains here! 😂 We’re a country that gets forgotten about a lot but we have a really cool flag!
We're told to take an uber instead of an ambulance cuz it's cheaper.
When you go to another country, you get laughed at because of your president
I would say USA cause we've had some pretty weird ones but i'm not sure.
My people act like if it was the end of the world when a train leaves one minute too late.
Americans are convinced we have the most disgusting bogan accent to exist. Like 92% of us don't have the goddamn accent and we aren't upsidedown you are >:(
As of today, we now have assault weapons designed for pre-teen children. Its called a JR-15 instead of AR-15.
cheese
cows
watches
chocolate
4 official languages
and a flag that looks like the red cross
Dinner is two different meals depending on whether you live in the north or south.
Sorry sorry hockey maple eh?
I'm not Russian. I can't even write in Cyrillic. Also, if you go to pride to shout homophobic slurs and beat up some gays you might get praised by a bishop. Oh, and our flag is opposite of Monaco's
Well today I slipped on while skating. I was driving my Toyota to a brothers birthday party at ice skating rink(where I slipped). When he opened his present he got a hockey stick, a bunch of maple syrup, and a hockey jersey. He was so happy. Then he bumped into the door and apologized to it…
We make Gouda cheese
Fush in Chups, cuzzie.
The "Fush and Chups" part sounds West End English. Do you get your meat from the bAHtcher?
I love taking naps. I get irrationally ofended when people prepare certain rice dish in a wrong way.
Timmies.
Budapest is not the capital of my country and we still have wild brown bears and wild wolves...
Haggis
I've been trying to reach you for your car's extended warranty.
I like football and hockey, and I love McDonald’s and sonic
Ahhh, yes. 13-Year-Old-Pubescent-Boyland. .....or "13YOPB" on the smaller world maps.
Saudi Prince's often come here for hunting Endangered and rare birds.
Pakistan? That's where all the Saudi princes I'm friends with (no, I'm not really friends with any) go to hunt.
I could go for a poutine right about now.
Mass shootings.
Dialysis bills my insurance for $35K PER treatment. That's 3 times a week. Over $1MM/year.
This just makes me so sad. My gran died because she finally tired of dialysis. I know I'll need it soon. As if having to pay $700 a month for healthcare premiums ALONE (not to mention deductibles, co-pays, medications, etc) isn't bad enough. When people in our country act like socialized healthcare is a "fate worse than death", I often wonder how they'd feel if they got so severely sick that they had to choose between treatment and all of their many possessions--because that's essentially what American health care forces you to do. More than a few patients have become homeless having to pay for medical care they needed.
Not saying this is a good thing, but I won my first turkey shoot (everyone shoots at targets and the best shot wins a frozen turkey) when I was shorter than the shotgun.
We hate the English
Do you have any idea how little it narrows the list? Could be the French, the Scots, the Irish or any country from half the commonwealth :´)
Labas, cepelinai.
Chocolate, waffles, fries..... and way too much governments.
We are loud and always happy, or so we are seen by turists
In reality we are all stressed as f**k and can barely afford to live on our own...
We have the most iconic country tho, with good food, awesome fashion and great history
Cats.
We have words that are about ten or more syllables long.
I'm waiting at a red pedestrian light on an intersection at midnight. I look down all the intersecting roads and don't see a single vehicle anywhere. I look back at the pedestrian light. It's still red. I wait.
If you disagree with me saying we have the nicest cheeses, breads and wines … I will go on strike !
Crikey this list was written by a bunch of drongos
Australia! Don't think I have actually heard anyone say drongo in real life though :)
we give birth to a russia (we sincerely apologize, world)
1. they steal the name of our empire;
2. they steal all the best bits of our culture and say they invented it;
3. then they go around saying we never existed;
4. now they want to kill us all and wipe us off the map.
the morning Chai, then more chai then one more chai... Chai chai chai... It goes on... 😀
(tea=chai)
guns, beer, and the Superbowl parties
Pour language is more than a traditional bread and a pastry. Most natives are very Bad at languages and Breaking Bad would've ended with a simple card.
I set out to do some of the GOOD things about my country... turns out it's pretty hard.
Guns, drugs, alcohol and hatred... you should be able to get it from that, sadly.
Rain....
Lol my first thought was Vancouver BC, we don't call it the wet coast for nothing!
everyone is horizontally tall
A store in my city that sells every major food group:
Fries, Burgers, Soda, and more!
I have to speak a minimum of 3 languages just to be able to talk to anyone.
in the summer you never know what time it is.
Would you like some kielbasa?
Went to the pharmacy to go grab a cake, some snacks, a card, and a balloon for someone’s birthday. Passed by a few gun stores on my way home.
Tell Me You’re From Your Country Without Telling Me You’re From Your Country: (Pulls up to McDonald’s drive thru) “Hi can I order a triple quarter pounder with everything on it and a side of large fries?
Some of the most significant products of People born in this country include James Watt's steam engine,the bicycle, macadamisation, Alexander Graham Bell's invention of the first practical telephone, John Logie Baird's invention of television and Sir Alexander Fleming
best known for discovering the world's first broadly effective antibiotic substance, which he named penicillin.
TW for colonialism.
We get get mistaken for the country that we used to be a region of until 1947.
Nessie, tartan, hills
4 seasons in a day, and this can happen in January or June
Sometimes I don't know if the loud bang I just heard was a gunshot or some idiot setting off a firework. Depends on the place and time of day which one is more likely, but who knows. It doesn't even really faze me that much, I just move away from the windows to be safe.
Also the US. I have small scaredy dogs so I abhor the fireworks as much as the gun obsession.
I was late in college because the bus drivers were on strike again... But both are for free.
Its all made in china and the peeps vote for an ompa loompa
11 official languages. 9 provinces. One of the top 3 strongest economies on the continent. 100% freedom of religion. Gay marriages since 2007. Highest buildings on the continent and richest square mile on the continent. Many tourist attractions. Worst Gini Coefficient on earth (greatest inequality).
Happiness is not having to smile at people.
I have not done military service, never paid for my child’s birth and my capital has about a million people as inhabitants, but we are not famous for banking
Country is easy as all I have to mention is that we kicked an angry orange out of power last year. Specific part of that country - if we were our own country we’d be the 5th largest economy in the world. We like strawberries, tech and nuclear weapons. We produce more agricultural products than any other part of the country. More people live here than in Canada. We have a bridge that is a different color than its name suggests. You can start your day snowboarding in our mountains, do motocross in the desert at lunch, and end the day surfing at the beach if you really wanted to. (oh and blah blah blah stuff like movies, television, celebrities and crap like that) I may hate my country as a whole, but tbh I actually love the part I live in.
we have cheeseburgers, guns, and stupid people here.
I am so embarrassed to be an American. When I travel out of the country I try so hard not to stand out as the stupid American.
Top O' the mornin' to ye!
You can lose your life savings if you get sick.
Land of the best singers and of course the best Flag of all.
