Join the Fun!

Final score:

145points

-

POST

BORKADYMUSIC 2 years ago

I’ve been asked if I’m Canadian because I apologize too much haha, so Canada???

30points

#2

A robber walks into a convenient store but before he pulls out his gun everyone else in the store pulls out their guns first.

Final score:

87points

Himiko

POST

BORKADYMUSIC 2 years ago

The US, right? :(

39points

#3

Yesterday I made friends with a large venomous spider. Today I made friends with a small venomous spider. Tomorrow I’m going to find spiders everywhere, and buff kangaroos

Final score:

82points

Firefly1617

POST

BORKADYMUSIC 2 years ago

Australia? :D

37points

#4

Always mistaken with the country where kangaroos live

Final score:

70points

eve

POST

Buzzy Boi 2 years ago

Austria

36points

#5

No, I'm not hungry. No, you're not the first to think of that brilliant joke.

Final score:

63points

Lousha

POST

Troux 2 years ago

Funny enough, Turkey is currently undergoing a rebranding to be called Türkiye (native tongue pronunciation) to avoid being associated with the bird. This is becoming a trend more and more (Myanmar, Eswatini, etc.) so maybe it's time to become Magyarország so you're no longer haunted by the terrible jokes!

6points

#6

I don't work in IT, elephants after not my ride, snakes don't dance on the roads, my city is Silicon Valley 2, most of us speak 4-5 native languages and English is our main language in school and college. To the surprise of many outsiders, our English and grammar is excellent.

Final score:

57points

Meghna Mohan

POST

DUN DUN 2 years ago

🎶Hum Hindustani🎶

10points

#7

Hi! Welcome to your average restaurant! Would you like a large, an extra large, or an EXTRA large?

Happi doggi (all pronouns)

Final score:

49points

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

100% US. We like our restaurant food just like our people....way bigger than necessary.

22points

#8

bo’le o’ wo’ah
is chewsday innit
tea
lots of pubs
tea

Final score:

46points

Miss Marmite

POST

weatherwitch 2 years ago (edited)

I think this is meant to be Britain by someone who's not British?! What on Earth is the first thing here?? And Where's the fish and chips without we can't survive?? 🤣

27points

#9

We're an American excuse to get very drunk once a year

Final score:

44points

oisin lambert

POST

Jill Holmes 2 years ago

Ireland!

26points

#10

I don't associate with my northern neighbor. Also we don't eat cats as often as you'd think.

Final score:

41points

a worm

POST

Ozacoter 2 years ago

South Korea. I am sorry that you have such a bad neighbor

30points

#11

The country where everyone thinks we sit on the couch in lederhosen all day long on some mountain, get paid for doing nothing, eat sauerkraut and yodel on our cuckoo clocks.

Final score:

37points

Jubum

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

Wait...are you saying that y'all DON'T? Ach du meine Güte!

13points

#12

We invented legos, constantly mistaken for our neighbours, love our bikes, and most of us is just as depressed as our weather.

Final score:

36points

HB

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago

On behalf of parents everywhere who have twisted their ankles in the dark on legos left on the floor by their spoiled children, just know that I'm looking at your people sternly and with my brows deeply furrowed.

13points

#13

Land of the mighty "T's": Tequila, Tacos and Tamales 😁👌

Final score:

35points

Paola Martz

POST

fandomprincess (any pronouns) 2 years ago

Mexicooooo

18points

#14

Proper (pre-covid) social distancing between strangers waiting in bus stops is five meters, but in sauna hips must touch.

Final score:

34points

jammer

POST

Happi doggi (all pronouns) 2 years ago

Finland?

27points

#15

“No it is not advised to take pictures with the buffaloes, yes they will kill you if you want a selfie, no I am not trying to take away your experience for this trip” common phrases where I live

Final score:

31points

Chin-sun Ming

POST

GSMountainWolf 2 years ago

Yellowstone, USA. Has many buffalo

4points

#16

I can speak waray waray and tagalog.

Final score:

28points

Random_player

POST

Ozacoter 2 years ago

Philippines!

19points

#17

Recipe for disaster,
1 cup of depression.
10 tablespoons of homophobia.
1/8 teaspoon of happiness.
1 pound of racism.
2 cups of debt.
2 pounds of inequality.
4 tablespoons of homelessness.
A pinch of excitement.
5 1/2 cups of guns.
4 cups of abandonment.
5 tablespoons of suicide.
7 pounds of unfair health insurance.
And for a garnish, police brutality.
Mix that all up and you get my country.
Sorry for making it so dark, but it is where I live.

Final score:

27points

Sequoia door.

POST

Ozacoter 2 years ago

Planet Earth!

30points

#18

We have coffeeshops all over the country where nobody orders coffee.

Final score:

27points

Oerff On Tour

POST

B.k 2 years ago

The Netherlands ........

12points

#19

We have thousands of curries, not just one. We don't ride elephants. And no we don't do the rope tricks. There's much more than just slums in our country.

Final score:

26points

Ko Ka

POST

Mistralok 2 years ago

India, and remember to thank the Americas for those chilis.

5points

#20

Go 3 miles and turn left at the 2nd McDonalds. Walmart will be on your right.

Final score:

25points

oldsbone

POST

Georgia Hebert 2 years ago

Everywhere in the USA?

20points

#21

A police car changed to the right lane when the cops saw me getting nearer in the rear mirror with around 240 on my speedo and let me overtook without any consequences

i love it :)

Final score:

24points

Lord Nibbler

POST

Jill Holmes 2 years ago

Germany

14points

#22

Had an 8 k bill for er visit that lasted 3 hours and got no medication

Final score:

24points

Monica Michelle

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

Clearly the US--although that 3 hour wait feels unusually brief for American ER visits. ...

16points

#23

Eh?

Final score:

23points

White Paper Tsuru

POST

Buzzy Boi 2 years ago

Lemme guess, you like lacrosse and hockey

14points

#24

Wait, other countries have the internet?

Final score:

23points

Lucus Adams

POST

Ryan Deschanel 2 years ago

USA! USA! USA!

26points

#25

Every time I tell somebody where I live they asked why I'm not black. Or if we have technology. Or the most common if I live with lions.

Final score:

20points

TheSilentEngineer

POST

Catarina 2 years ago

South África

12points

#26

I'm sorry

Final score:

18points

Terilee Bruyere

POST

fandomprincess (any pronouns) 2 years ago

Canada!

8points

#27

*HONK* *HONK * *HISSSS HISSSSSSSS* *HONK* HONK* zzzzzzzzzzz *SMACK* zzzzzzzzzz*SMACK* SMACK *

Final score:

18points

MyOpinionHasBeenServed

POST

MyOpinionHasBeenServed (Submission author) 2 years ago

Honks and hisses are geese. The zzzz are mosquitoes and they're getting smacked.

11points

#28

Fancy a brew?

Final score:

17points

Nathaniel

POST

Spikey boi 2 years ago

UK!

7points

#29

Queen for 50 years and a mermaid in the harbour...

Final score:

17points

LEGOPernille

POST

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 2 years ago

Denmark

14points

#30

Growing up, I had a geyser in my front yard and a glacier in the back yard and a ton of sheep wandering the pasture between.

Rannveig Ess (don't / care)

Final score:

17points

POST

Lenka Čábalová 2 years ago

Iceland?

8points

#31

Beer and depression

Final score:

16points

Titas Burinskas

POST

Buzzy Boi 2 years ago

FLORIDA

19points

#32

A lot of strikes, and haute couture.

Final score:

15points

Aud Wey

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

vive la france

9points

#33

School system is broken, government is broken, economy is broken, HELP I WANNA GET OUT

Final score:

14points

BORKADYMUSIC

POST

Rosalind 2 years ago

everywhere?

32points

#34

Wiedźmin 😎

Final score:

13points

Aga Ch

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

Polska?

8points

#35

We regularly get left off world maps even though our land area is larger than the UK.

Final score:

13points

Rachel Ainsworth

POST

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

New Zealand.

9points

#36

I would like to apologize to the rest of the world for 2016-2020.

Final score:

13points

Jerry Mathers

POST

Amelia Williams 2 years ago

USA USA USA WE ALL HATE OUR OWN COUNTRY TOO ITS OK

6points

#37

With my wooden shoes I used to go to the windmill to get tulips and cheese but nowadays I just smoke loads of weed 😉

Final score:

13points

Cecile Visscher

POST

Lee 2 years ago

The Netherlands

8points

#38

The part of the world that overdosed on freedom

Final score:

12points

Spikey boi

POST

chippi girish 2 years ago

America

6points

#39

I once saw a gun store next to a chuck-e-cheese
WhAt. pEoPLe ThInK

Final score:

12points

Cha Cha slide

POST

Aisling Raye 2 years ago

I feel like all the USA contributions I have seen on this list so far are from Texas, Florida, Louisiana (bc I saw Mardi Gras mentioned) or just the south in general.

5points

#40

YEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAW!

Final score:

11points

Thorfin Wolfsbane

POST

chippi girish 2 years ago

Texas

7points

#41

Yes, we put mayo on our fries. And stop calling ‘em French fries. Ain’t nothing French about ‘em. Just a couple of American WW soldiers eating fries while hearing someone speak French and thinking they were in France. They weren’t.

Final score:

11points

BP

POST

Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago

Sounds like Belgium

8points

#42

Fish and chips

Final score:

10points

KitFrey

POST

eve 2 years ago

UK

6points

#43

Yorkshire puds, shepherds pie, brolly, cuppa, corgis, fry’s chocolate… need I go on?

Final score:

10points

Jackie Warner

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago

You had me at Yorkshire Pudding...then lost me at Shepherd's Pie....but then I rallied again for the Corgis.

10points

#44

I have 30,000$ in student debt and own several assault rifles

Final score:

10points

Monosyllabicgirl

POST

TKA 2 years ago

US

6points

#45

It nearly always rains here! 😂 We’re a country that gets forgotten about a lot but we have a really cool flag!

Final score:

8points

Goth Mouse (he/they)

POST

Troux 2 years ago

Wales?

16points

#46

We're told to take an uber instead of an ambulance cuz it's cheaper.

Final score:

8points

Samantha Rae

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

Same here in ZA to be honest. It's like 10x cheaper.

1point

#47

When you go to another country, you get laughed at because of your president

Final score:

8points

Toni Kay

POST

Micah Chips 2 years ago

I would say USA cause we've had some pretty weird ones but i'm not sure.

5points

#48

We Stare. Better behave.

Final score:

7points

Denise Bella

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago

Wherever it is, my Gran came from there.

17points

#49

My people act like if it was the end of the world when a train leaves one minute too late.

Final score:

7points

Simon Hirschhofer

POST

Happi doggi (all pronouns) 2 years ago

Japan?

10points

#50

Americans are convinced we have the most disgusting bogan accent to exist. Like 92% of us don't have the goddamn accent and we aren't upsidedown you are >:(

Final score:

7points

Ash

POST

Ryan Deschanel 2 years ago

Australia.

8points

#51

As of today, we now have assault weapons designed for pre-teen children. Its called a JR-15 instead of AR-15.

Final score:

7points

Two_rolling_black_eyes

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

amurka.

1point

#52

cheese
cows
watches
chocolate
4 official languages
and a flag that looks like the red cross

Final score:

7points

-Insert-name-

POST

Angelar 2 years ago

Grüezi!

4points

#53

Dinner is two different meals depending on whether you live in the north or south.

Final score:

6points

Tiny Dynamine

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago

Now...are we talking dinner proper, or tea?

4points

#54

Sorry sorry hockey maple eh?

Final score:

6points

fandomprincess

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

canada

4points

#55

I'm not Russian. I can't even write in Cyrillic. Also, if you go to pride to shout homophobic slurs and beat up some gays you might get praised by a bishop. Oh, and our flag is opposite of Monaco's

Final score:

6points

Sammy125

POST

Alexis Croft 2 years ago

Poland

7points

#56

Well today I slipped on while skating. I was driving my Toyota to a brothers birthday party at ice skating rink(where I slipped). When he opened his present he got a hockey stick, a bunch of maple syrup, and a hockey jersey. He was so happy. Then he bumped into the door and apologized to it…

Final score:

6points

Quinn

POST

Njushka 2 years ago

I'm serbian who grew up in canada so when inanimate object collides with me, I yell at it, hit it some more, and then apologize. Point being, we can all use a little more canada in us 😆

8points

#57

We make Gouda cheese

Final score:

6points

Roxan Haandrikman

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 2 years ago

ZE NETHERLANDS

4points

#58

Fush in Chups, cuzzie.

Final score:

5points

april jenkins

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

The "Fush and Chups" part sounds West End English. Do you get your meat from the bAHtcher?

2points

#59

I love taking naps. I get irrationally ofended when people prepare certain rice dish in a wrong way.

Final score:

5points

Ozacoter

POST

Miguel Figueroa Pagán 2 years ago

¿España?

6points

#60

Timmies.

Final score:

5points

Luna Lovegood

POST

fandomprincess (any pronouns) 2 years ago

CANADA!!!

5points

#61

Budapest is not the capital of my country and we still have wild brown bears and wild wolves...

Final score:

5points

Oana Alexandra Niculcea

POST

Gaby Almodovar 2 years ago

Romania

3points

#62

Haggis

Final score:

5points

Claire Noakes

POST

Sarah R. 2 years ago

Scotland?

5points

#63

I've been trying to reach you for your car's extended warranty.

Final score:

5points

Vaibhavi Singh

POST

Suhaira tasni 2 years ago

This is sus

3points

#64

I like football and hockey, and I love McDonald’s and sonic

Final score:

4points

Buzzy Boi

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

Ahhh, yes. 13-Year-Old-Pubescent-Boyland. .....or "13YOPB" on the smaller world maps.

4points

#65

Saudi Prince's often come here for hunting Endangered and rare birds.

Final score:

4points

revealer

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

Pakistan? That's where all the Saudi princes I'm friends with (no, I'm not really friends with any) go to hunt.

4points

#66

Mass shootings.

Final score:

4points

Klaatu Verrata (Cough)

POST

Alexis Croft 2 years ago

USA

8points

#67

Dialysis bills my insurance for $35K PER treatment. That's 3 times a week. Over $1MM/year.

Final score:

4points

Bettie-Jean Neal

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

This just makes me so sad. My gran died because she finally tired of dialysis. I know I'll need it soon. As if having to pay $700 a month for healthcare premiums ALONE (not to mention deductibles, co-pays, medications, etc) isn't bad enough. When people in our country act like socialized healthcare is a "fate worse than death", I often wonder how they'd feel if they got so severely sick that they had to choose between treatment and all of their many possessions--because that's essentially what American health care forces you to do. More than a few patients have become homeless having to pay for medical care they needed.

5points

#68

Not saying this is a good thing, but I won my first turkey shoot (everyone shoots at targets and the best shot wins a frozen turkey) when I was shorter than the shotgun.

Final score:

4points

Random Okapi

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

only usa has turkey shoots so...

1point

#69

We hate the English

Final score:

4points

Teddy

POST

Guy MacGregor 2 years ago

Do you have any idea how little it narrows the list? Could be the French, the Scots, the Irish or any country from half the commonwealth :´)

17points

#70

Labas, cepelinai.

Final score:

4points

Angry little sheep

POST

Hańka 2 years ago

Lithuania?

3points

#71

Chocolate, waffles, fries..... and way too much governments.

Final score:

4points

Tarcandor

POST

Lucus Adams 2 years ago

BELGIUM

5points

#72

Cheeky Nando's

Final score:

4points

WinterBlossom

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

uk, but BY THE WAY NANDOS STARTED IN SOUTH AFRICA SO THERE.

3points

#73

We are loud and always happy, or so we are seen by turists
In reality we are all stressed as f**k and can barely afford to live on our own...

We have the most iconic country tho, with good food, awesome fashion and great history

Final score:

4points

QuokkaVibes

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

italy?

2points

#74

Cats.

Final score:

4points

Dora But Not Explorer

POST

Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago

Or Greece.

1point

#75

We have words that are about ten or more syllables long.

Final score:

4points

Denise Melek

POST

Rose Romano 2 years ago

Germany. I love those long German words.

4points

#76

Tesla.

Final score:

4points

Ana Klekijeva

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 2 years ago

Serbian. Nikola tesla was Serbian

6points

#77

I'm waiting at a red pedestrian light on an intersection at midnight. I look down all the intersecting roads and don't see a single vehicle anywhere. I look back at the pedestrian light. It's still red. I wait.

Final score:

4points

Alexej Dvorak

POST

Lady Bookish 2 years ago

Go Germany (on the green light)!

7points

#78

If you disagree with me saying we have the nicest cheeses, breads and wines … I will go on strike !

Final score:

4points

Fourchette

POST

Andrea Andersson 2 years ago

France

5points

#79

Crikey this list was written by a bunch of drongos

Final score:

4points

Unwelcomed Guest

POST

Huddo's sister 2 years ago (edited)

Australia! Don't think I have actually heard anyone say drongo in real life though :)

2points

#80

the morning Chai, then more chai then one more chai... Chai chai chai... It goes on... 😀
(tea=chai)

Final score:

3points

J T

POST

DUN DUN 2 years ago

Chai>>>>>>>> . Always.

2points

#81

guns, beer, and the Superbowl parties

Final score:

3points

Elizabeth Sundby

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago

You could have stopped at "guns". 😅

8points

#82

Pour language is more than a traditional bread and a pastry. Most natives are very Bad at languages and Breaking Bad would've ended with a simple card.

Final score:

3points

Call Me Tsuyu

POST

Hannah Edwards 2 years ago

Denmark?

0points

#83

I set out to do some of the GOOD things about my country... turns out it's pretty hard.
Guns, drugs, alcohol and hatred... you should be able to get it from that, sadly.

Final score:

3points

Nagito Komaeda

POST

ZAPanda 2 years ago

hm. We have a similar thing here. So could be a number of places.

0points

#84

Rain....

Final score:

3points

Miichi

POST

fandomprincess (any pronouns) 2 years ago

Lol my first thought was Vancouver BC, we don't call it the wet coast for nothing!

4points

#85

everyone is horizontally tall

Final score:

3points

e3ega44u64u7ytuyt

POST

Hannah Edwards 2 years ago

USA?

1point

#86

A store in my city that sells every major food group:
Fries, Burgers, Soda, and more!

Final score:

3points

CATMONSTER2018

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 2 years ago

THE US BECAUSE FLORIDA SELLS ALL OF THESE

1point

#87

I have to speak a minimum of 3 languages just to be able to talk to anyone.

Final score:

3points

Leslie

POST

Ozacoter 2 years ago

Belgium?

5points

#88

in the summer you never know what time it is.

Final score:

3points

Mummu Morbidia

POST

Guy MacGregor 2 years ago

Sweden?

2points

#89

Would you like some kielbasa?

Final score:

3points

Mr. P.

POST

ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ 2 years ago

Polska!

5points

#90

Went to the pharmacy to go grab a cake, some snacks, a card, and a balloon for someone’s birthday. Passed by a few gun stores on my way home.

Final score:

3points

CherryPlays

POST

Chevy-man 2 years ago

USA

2points

#91

Tell Me You’re From Your Country Without Telling Me You’re From Your Country: (Pulls up to McDonald’s drive thru) “Hi can I order a triple quarter pounder with everything on it and a side of large fries?

Final score:

3points

DorkLimester6000

POST

Boudewijn van der Mik 2 years ago

He forgot the Cola LIGHT

2points

#92

Some of the most significant products of People born in this country include James Watt's steam engine,the bicycle, macadamisation, Alexander Graham Bell's invention of the first practical telephone, John Logie Baird's invention of television and Sir Alexander Fleming
best known for discovering the world's first broadly effective antibiotic substance, which he named penicillin.

Final score:

3points

Annette Stroups

POST

Mummu Morbidia 2 years ago

Scotland

3points

#93

TW for colonialism.

We get get mistaken for the country that we used to be a region of until 1947.

Final score:

3points

Sarah

POST

Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago

Pakistan? in that case then how is everything going?

2points

#94

Nessie, tartan, hills

Final score:

3points

malenchki

POST

Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago

Scotland

1point

#95

4 seasons in a day, and this can happen in January or June

Final score:

2points

albernistuff 4sale

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago

Minnesota. 😆 Oh, sorry. Country. Canada.

6points

#96

Can you pay me those 50 cents back please?

Final score:

2points

Stella Duson

POST

MyOpinionHasBeenServed 2 years ago

Canada. In the parts where tipping is optional.

2points

#97

Sometimes I don't know if the loud bang I just heard was a gunshot or some idiot setting off a firework. Depends on the place and time of day which one is more likely, but who knows. It doesn't even really faze me that much, I just move away from the windows to be safe.

Final score:

2points

Duck's Shredder

POST

Klaatu Verrata (Cough) 2 years ago (edited)

Also the US. I have small scaredy dogs so I abhor the fireworks as much as the gun obsession.

4points

#98

I was late in college because the bus drivers were on strike again... But both are for free.

Final score:

2points

Ryan Deschanel

POST

Mistralok 2 years ago

France. I was coming home from spending the day at Cassis. A trucker's strike completely closed the road. I spent much of the day in the fields picking fresh herbs.

2points

#99

Its all made in china and the peeps vote for an ompa loompa

Final score:

2points

Mr.Knaps (He/Him)

POST

TKA 2 years ago

Doopity do, I live in America, and so do you!

2points

#100

11 official languages. 9 provinces. One of the top 3 strongest economies on the continent. 100% freedom of religion. Gay marriages since 2007. Highest buildings on the continent and richest square mile on the continent. Many tourist attractions. Worst Gini Coefficient on earth (greatest inequality).

Final score:

2points

ZAPanda

POST

Hańka 2 years ago

South Africa

2points

#101

Happiness is not having to smile at people.

Final score:

2points

Remi (He/Him)

POST

Bacony Cakes 2 years ago

Finland.

6points

#102

I have not done military service, never paid for my child’s birth and my capital has about a million people as inhabitants, but we are not famous for banking