ADVERTISEMENT


Britain has brought us lots of things. Shakespeare. Fish and chips. Afternoon tea. Cucumber sandwiches. And of course, the Queen's English. But there's something else the British are super proud of: their sick sense of humor.

British humor isn’t everyone’s cuppa tea. Still, there’s no denying the Brits have produced some absolute bangers from across the pond. Mr Bean, Mrs Bucket, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Ali G, and The Office. To name but a few.

A Facebook page called “There should be a 99p coin” has over a million followers. They’re dedicated to bringing us the best Britain has to offer. Keep scrolling for a list of our favorite funnies that might make even the stiffest upper lip crack a smile.

#1

British-Humour

99coin Report

Owned-by-dogs
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They changed to a digital system. When she contacted them and told them her story they found a CD copy of the announcement to give to her. They also restored the old version so he is once more reminding everyone to "Mind the gap".

Pamelot
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would love to have a voice recording of my late husband. 9/2004. R.I.P. 💗

Load More Replies...
mhoulden
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her name is Dr Margaret McCollum and her husband was Oswald Laurence. There's an article about it at https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-21719848

Multa Nocte
Community Member
Premium
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's really sweet.

Hmmm hmmmm
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If anyone wants to listen to that audio then it's on the embankment station northbound. It's a different audio to the whole rest of the tube line. It's a really sweet story

Me.
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now there are a few stations which appear to be voiced by a 5- year-old child, which is far more annoying that I would have expected

Eugenia
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband suddenly lost his voice; a few weeks later we were told that he had terminal lung cancer and his vocal cords were paralyzed by the disease. He was 51, had never smoked and had always been healthy. 10 years later I try to remember his voice...

Lotekguy
Community Member
Premium
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reassuring to learn whenever a government does the right thing in the right way. More of the same, please.

View more comments

RELATED:
    #2

    British-Humour

    99coin , georgiepmx Report

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The more sarcastic, the better

    Kate C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like to say it a very cheerful voice, which makes the imploite recipient adopt a confused look as if they are wondering, "wait, did I say thank you?"

    Load More Replies...
    Miss Tinker
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this with my cats. Little cretins never show any gratitude.

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would they? They rightfully expect you to do the jobs for which you were hired.

    Load More Replies...
    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always say "you're welcome no need to thank me, oh yeah you didn't" but usually only in my head.

    Duncan McCann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps not the best thing to do after sex.

    Miss Tinker
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends if the sex is worth thanking you for.

    Load More Replies...
    Ola Polowczyk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a bike lane right next to the sidewalk in a park I go to everyday. Yet some cyclists decide to ride on the sidewalk. I usually sigh dramatically and go "If only there was a bike lane somewhere here!"

    P R
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A cyclist riding by wouldn't be able to hear most, if any, of what was said ⁴

    Load More Replies...
    Eugenia
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too. Adding sometimes: is this a special day or you are always this rude?

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If done in the right tone, it can be a teaching moment, but few wish to be taught.

    Mike Beck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do I upvote for agreeing (I also do this) or downvote for disagreeing with it being a *bad* habit??

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I enjoy reading something and/or imagining it, I upvote. Judging it is separate.

    Load More Replies...
    Alan Jay Weiner
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    at least they're polite about it; over here it'd be appended by "a**hole!"

    View more comments
    #3

    British-Humour

    99coin , bensewell25 Report

    Miss Tinker
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TBH, “The Hash Brown Bandit” has a certain ring to it.

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The British have nice hash browns. Not the c**p mcdonald's convinces children are hash browns.

    Tiny Dancer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    British hash browns are far superior to the Tasty Tots version over here! You could have them for dinner indeed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLIjC9YtTSs

    Barbara Wilcock
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I now need to know about his breakfast

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hash browns as prison food has to be classed as a cruel and unusual punishment. Nasty little chunks of Satan's excrement is what they are.

    View more comments

    Tongue in cheek. And cheeky. British humor has become a brand of its own. Sarcastic, satirical and self-deprecating are just some of the words that come to mind when trying to describe it. British banter can sometimes be misconstrued as being rude. And the deadpan delivery makes it hard to tell whether a Brit is actually joking or being dead serious.

    Understanding British humor is “like trying to spread cold butter on toast,” wrote the Times of India, “It’s a tricky endeavor that requires patience and, often, ends in unexpected messes”.

    #4

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Alan Jay Weiner
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well, after 32 years (yesterday!) I still melt when my wife smiles

    Anya Beboop
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    New relationship time for Maisey.

    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the point where you stick your cold feet in his a*s crack. Oh, and jellyroll the comfoters. Comfy little jellyroll, freezing, butt to the ceiling boyfriend!

    Cuppa tea?
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maisey - he just proclaimed eternal love to you, just it's got a bit lost in translation

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    British-Humour

    99coin , frankenquine Report

    Terran
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's baffling that some older people really don't get this. It's a simple matter of mathematics, yet some people think because they could buy a house back in the day, that it must be possible now.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don't math well... sorry, would it be: They don't "maths" well?

    Load More Replies...
    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just Latte. Wait until you give up DoorDash. The savings will pile up.

    The Starsong Princess
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me introduce you the concept of investing and compound interest.

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The simple mathematics is we made the same amount you do relative to the price of a house. Now it's up to you to figure it out.

    Avoidance_Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, it kinda is... Just depends on where you wanna live... I moved to buy... I know it was my choice... Managed my income and expectations.... Moved and bought a little house ... Now 7 years on, I'm almost paid half off... Now I have a really nice deposit IF I wanna move back...

    Graham Berry
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup 👍. Here in the US this could even be enough to buy a house out right provided you moved to a low income state in the middle of nowhere with little to no amenities accessable with out a three hour drive. As a retirement plan it's not bad as far as I'm concerned but I currently I need a well paying job to survive.

    Load More Replies...
    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's kinda equivalent to 3 months rent in New York City.

    ROSESARERED
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was a really great graph on ABC news the other night showing wages rising and house prices and the difference from 1990 to now.

    Lyone Fein
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is 18,000 pounds not enough for a down payment on a house?

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a coffee engineer, please keep drinking coffee. Keeps me in a job I love because I get to meet lovely people in hotels, cafes and coffee shops.

    View more comments
    #6

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Dragons Exist
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This pic is a few years old, and it gets funnier the older it gets

    Duncan McCann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would you like to see my pic from 1987?

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Striked a match, got burned - A classic story

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seen this before, still gets me every time.

    U.K. comedian Ricky Gervais recently wrote a column for Time, explaining the difference between American and British humor. He was Britishly blunt. “We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary,” he said. “We mercilessly take the p*ss out of people we like or dislike basically. And ourselves. This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out.”

    #7

    British-Humour

    99coin , aDatingDad Report

    Moxitron Jazz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A quad-toastie maker?!?! Look at Mr Shmancyass over here...

    Sarah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just thinking that myself...us peasants can only do 2 at a time.

    Load More Replies...
    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell me you’re posh without telling me you’re posh.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where can I acquire this "toastie maker" in the US?

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amazon and suchlike. I used to have one. They make awesome grilled cheese, elephant ears, other pastries, pizza pockets. Oh, now I'm hungry. I need to buy a new one.

    Load More Replies...
    Cold Eagle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The old ones you could actually fit filling inside of them. Cheese corned beef onion beans you name it, actual deep filling.

    Ashlie Benson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When ya'll said toastie I always thought of a toaster...my whole life is a lie.

    Tiggy Darling
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whip up a basic sponge cake mix and put a bit in each dip. Fresh hot cakes in minutes.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you still have to cut the fucken crusts off to get the bread to fit. Threw mine out.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #8

    British-Humour

    99coin , gkse16 Report

    Taki Takanashi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One more reason not to text while driving

    Shelley DuVal
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do the Scottish people manage with text to speech. Asking for a friend.

    Happy Onion
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've done this too. Google doesn't miss much sometimes

    MP Deco
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Philly Bob Squires
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG I'm dying! LOL! Close to the same happened to me but I was on the phone with the wife... I'm like Hon, I'm on my way home, but I'm gonna stop by the sandwich shop and "look out you sonofabitch!!" Oof! I didn't mean to blurt that out! She cracked up. But yeah, text to speech and phone through hands free while driving. If you look at your phone around here for more than 2 seconds, you'll wind up in a pine tree or in a lake. Not good.

    maka paka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How can you not mean to send it if you use it all the time, it doesn't just send it automatically

    Wes Ouzts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is for those of us who type 10 words per minute on a phone.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    British-Humour

    99coin , chelseamorris10 Report

    BatPhace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss the dark chocolate raspberry ones 😢

    James Peek
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought I was crazy that I had had one in this flavor. Thanks.

    Load More Replies...
    Barbara Wilcock
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always at the bottom of the stocking at Christmas

    PFD
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not Terry's, it's mine

    James Twong
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Could be used as a weapon if needed.

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that you can only really get those here around Christmas. I can't order them because it's tooo dang hot here that they won't deliver them.

    bernie bulk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wtf is a , choc orange terry ???

    View more comments

    Gervais has stirred up controversy a couple of times in his career. Just last year, thousands of people petitioned Netflix to remove a joke from his latest show “Armageddon”. He had offended them by poking fun at kids with cancer. Gervais took the complaints with a pinch of "I beg your pardon?"... And fobbed them off during an interview with BBC radio at the time. “Ignore them. They don’t count. They have no effect on me. They don’t count. They’re hecklers,” said Gervais.

    #10

    British-Humour

    99coin , aloeniemann Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like a custom from New Guinea.

    Ashlie Benson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds suspiciously like a Daniel Tosh joke....

    sweet emotion
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you could have your head put on a pike and mounted over Traitor's Gate.

    Biytemii
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kind of sick but I love it 😀

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmm, hadn't thought of this.

    Whoopdeedoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is... is it wrong that I kind of want this

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #11

    British-Humour

    99coin , fesshole Report

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you KNOW how much it'll be

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    here, turn the AC down to 58 and bankrupt them.

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, that's pretty low. I like it!

    Katherine Forrestall
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love it...as good as the dead fish in the curtsin rods one, eh !

    James Doe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, let's applaud make waste of energy!

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Hmm. This is considered a form of domestic abuse. Hahahahaha I guess.

    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She cheated. What kind of abuse does this fall under? It's just petty revenge and not hurting anybody. I am not worried one bit about this when child molestors are walking around free!

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #12

    British-Humour

    99coin , prkirkley Report

    Christopher Preston
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    UK election in which the Tories were expected to (and did) get utterly spanked was on July 4th.

    Load More Replies...
    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ROFL. Is this posting going to be a gathering of Brits smirking and snarking at the Tories while the other nations look on in gentle surprise or indifference?

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Yes! Yes! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    harshtart
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    . and the labour government went sour before the milk did 😳

    Luis Hernandez Dauajare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By some marmite jars and they're probably outlive the labour government too...

    LinkTheHylian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Labour, Tory, Lib Dem, Reform... same s**t different packaging.

    D W
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    You'll be sorry when the full incompetence of Labour and Head-boy Starmer have driven the country into the gutter. The Tories will look like manna from heaven by comparison.

    Tom Brincefield
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The gutter will be better than the sewer the Tories sank them in.

    Load More Replies...
    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Enjoy it while it lasts. The hypocrisy of the left will kick them out in 5 years (at most).

    View more comments

    If British humor has a tendency to fly over your head at times, you’re not alone. Justin Bieber made headlines in 2012 when he admitted he couldn’t understand a thing British comedian Alan Carr was saying to him. “I don't get all this humor,” said a baffled Bieber. “I don't know if you're making fun of me? I just don't get the British humor."

    When Carr assured Bieber he was just "taking the mickey", the Canadian star was even more confused. "Mickey, what's mickey?" But a few years later, Bieber got it. And the Belieber went viral for taking the mickey out of the British accent on this talk show.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    British-Humour

    99coin , ge0leigh Report

    Orange Frosting
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For non-Brits, "fit" is good-looking.

    Daniel Atkins
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does he flex every time he comes by?

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you not think that the guy with her in her profile pic might have something to say about that?

    Load More Replies...
    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nothing wrong with saying someone is good looking. It is hardly as if you're being a perv, (considering it was said to their mother) more like, being appreciative and supportive.

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just by 'my mam' I can say with almost 100% certainty that Georgia is from the North-East of England (specifically England because NE Britain/UK is in Scotland).

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The guy stood with her in her profile pic might disagree.

    Load More Replies...
    Jane W.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the U.S., fit means in good physical shape. Works for me either way.

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This whole story makes NO sense

    View more comments
    #14

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    WakandaPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or attempts to change the music !

    Lyn Wood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaah, a road I know! I used to live just off junction 5.

    #15

    British-Humour

    99coin , haitianpvpi Report

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Though wasn't someone I knew, got an order from McD's once where someone behind the counter had mayonnaise McBukakke'd the burger; and it was the firey woman next to me, seeing that I was upset but a ball of shy, who got the burger fixed.

    Slapdash1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    U sure it was mayo or maybe they were just happy to see you?

    Load More Replies...
    Shaunn Munn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't British McDonald's use calibrated condiment dispensers? If so, the mayo was in the wrong squirter. Happened often at my store. Grill managers are supposed to ensure the proper dispensers are paired with sauces.

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You don't have to be loud and fiery to get something fixed. I do it all the time without becoming a reddit post.

    Sarah Matsoukis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Laid-back not to be confused with anxious

    View more comments

    When it comes to understanding British banter, "half of Americans wouldn't be able to tell that a Briton is calling them an idiot". That’s according to U.K. polling company, YouGov. In 2019, they gave 1,700 Britons and 1,900 Americans a bunch of British phrases to see if they're on the same page. Or if Britain and America are indeed “two nations separated by a common language”.

    It turns out British sarcasm and passive aggressiveness are lost on many Americans. When asked what "with the greatest respect" meant, nearly half of Americans interpreted it as "I am listening to you". While 68% of British people knew it to mean “you’re an idiot”.

    #16

    British-Humour

    99coin , lizbeth_ellen Report

    Kaa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And probably waited years for this sweet little revenge

    Load More Replies...
    Birb
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see this a lot but with different names on it

    Nota Robot
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Third or fourth time this week, I think. Even my vu's are starting to have déja's.

    Load More Replies...
    rorschach-penguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't even imagine telling my parents I don't have money for alcohol so will they please buy me some. It's not food.

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just can't, Bwahahahahaha!

    #17

    British-Humour

    99coin , cantseyy Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TV show featuring mainly foreigners bringing contraband, often dead animal parts, into the country. Also Australian version and US versions but names differ.

    Miss Tinker
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love the Australian version. Particularly when the Chinese person suddenly loses the ability to speak English when confronted with suitcase full of rhino dongs 😅

    Load More Replies...
    Paul C.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as the Chinese woman isn't bringing Bats in, we should be ok!

    Paul Gerrard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They dont know what food is. Even in their own language they are unsure. I love coming back to Sydney. Air China flight lands and every single passenger except me and my wife are sent to the red line. Full bag checks. Border Security show films those flights. . On the flight they stuff bags of meat and fish into backpacks they think hide it. I dont know why we dont just send them back.

    Farnzy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Zomg never heard of this and now I'm gonna binge every season from every country!

    Castles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Australia… the flight to Australia gave the customers apples 🍎 not allowed in Australia so those who put it in their hand luggage all got fined $200 aid dollars. Whoops!

    Danish Susanne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They asked for it. Apples are supposed to be eaten.

    Load More Replies...
    Happy Onion
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have the same thing here. Show is called Border Security. They use "Would I Lie to You" by The Eurythmics as the theme song. Brilliant!

    Viking74
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Canadian version is fun to watch as well - at least from the point of view of a Canadian. : )

    Dave
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is always the same thing. The customs agent confirms with them they have no food. Customs agent finds food. Agent asks if they more, and they say no. Eventually, there's about 20 kg of food. Now, they are fined, but don't have any monet, until they do. Same thing each time, and I continue to watch it. One of the Aussie networks has a Pluto channel that replays it 24/7.

    View more comments
    #18

    British-Humour

    99coin , donchdeejay Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. Saves on the lecky bill. And possibly mocking as most people use 'washing' not laundry.

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Odd moment in adulthood when you are at work and it's a lovely day and instead of thinking I could be out right now with my mates enjoying the sun - but you think, I could get 2 loads dry in this.

    MissCris
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Odd moment in your childhood when you notice that laundry is your parents.

    Load More Replies...
    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you have severe allergies. Definitely don't want pollen covered clothing.

    KT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I put a set of sheets on the line on a really hot day a few weeks ago, and by the time the next load was ready to put out, the sheets were dry. Score!

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In summer here, new england Nsw, Aus, 1 hour will dry your clothes. Chuck out the doonas and heavy blankets, soft toys, they will be dry and fresh for the cupboard. Mind you, you do use those until summer because our houses are made to be as cold as a fridge year round. Seriously, my breath is foggy right now in my living room.

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah, tomorrow is a warm and strong sunbeam type day, perfect for drying all the laundry on the line.

    Kaa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love sunny warm Saturdays.... Two to three loads of laundry! Yay!

    Katey Doll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've just this second had the exact conversation with my mum 😂

    Sian E
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tomorrow is supposed to be very warm and dry across the UK, so go nuts with the washing!

    Load More Replies...
    margaret carradus
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mam was furious when she had to take my husband to the hospital for his almost ruptured appendix op. I had just had our eldest lad and was stuck at home. She said he had nowt wrong and it was the waste of a good drying day. It was the same day as Hillsborough which meant he thought he was hallicinating post op when he turned on the radio. Eery year we remember that day...

    bernie bulk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    so england gets heat ????, guwaffs from australia

    View more comments

    Some might also find their tummies grumbling if a Briton ever told them “you must come for dinner”. Most Americans took it as a sincere summons to supper and would be looking forward to the details. But 57% of Brits polled said they’re merely being polite, and it’s not an actual invitation. Best you order in, mate.

    #19

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Are you interested in the top?" 🤣🤣🤣

    R Dennis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should have offered her Tom and asked for a discount.

    TheGoodBoi
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL humans are so fascinating

    #20

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only have to press the reset button on his chin and it will fall off.

    Ashlie Benson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is no one else commenting on how tf someone got a padlock through that hole and locked it without him making a move?

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's brilliant

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those are pretty heavy, also, dont touch people without permission :/ coz if he mad, youre charged. I might be tempted with a sheep ear tag just the same :p

    Squirrel Chaser
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just don't get caught. I find the idea of drive-by padlocking rather hilarious.

    Load More Replies...
    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oohhhh how i regret not coming up with this.

    mysterious(all pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That looks like a pretty generic lock, he should be able to go to a locksmith and get it sorted out pretty easily.

    Nuku Nyara
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He can watch the YouTube guy who breaks into locks to figure out how to remove it without a key. Unless he did it to himself when black out drunk

    Danish Susanne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But I bet it would be rather difficult to do, when you cannot see the lock.

    Load More Replies...
    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohhh fk that's so British to do that 🤣🤣🤣🤣

    View more comments
    #21

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'spoons. Possibly the CEO.

    The Queen Of France
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just hope he doesn’t start reciting poetry.

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Every website's comment section has one, as well.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dara apparently still hasn't accepted the cancelation of Mock the Week. He deserved better treatment.

    martymcmatrix
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just found this......https://www.facebook.com/uniladsound/videos/average-uk-pub/694696120874033/

    View more comments

    There’s a researcher called Xuemei Chen who actually studied whether Americans appreciate British humor. They gathered 128 British and 95 American level one (basic) English speakers. The participants were shown two short snippets from two British television series. They were then asked to rate the funniest one and share their thoughts.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    The study found that “American English L1 users perceived British humor as less funny and were less able to ‘get’ the ironic and sarcastic aspect of British humor than British English L1 users.” Basically, the Brits burst out laughing. The Americans were not amused.

    #22

    British-Humour

    99coin , rosieoutlook Report

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just be a normal person then and get yourself a chair to place them on!

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh God. I just leave it for the cats to sleep on.

    InoueAmani
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then rewashing them because I can't deal with sorting, folding, bending, hanging

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of the clothes can stay on the bed, there's room for me as well.

    Be_ Heard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just buy more laundry baskets. Dont bother folding s**t. Just keep them in the basket until ur ready to fold. No need to stress or put urself down. Its just clothes :)

    Iseabail Munro
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is why I have a spare bed, in a spare room.

    Caroline Overill
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I no longer throw my clothes in a pile on the floor since the cat threw up on them twice.

    View more comments
    #23

    British-Humour

    99coin , joeefoster Report

    Mark Fuller
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. If there's one thing the pandemic taught us, it was how much money you could save by getting pissed at home! £4.50 for a pint of lemonade as a non alcoholic example of prices. No. Just no. I can get a supermarket bottle of wine for £7.

    PFD
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where are you shopping f*****g Waitrose?

    Load More Replies...
    Bec
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TBF, I loved the rock festivals back in the 90s and early 2000, but would go all day without eating or drinking because of the outrageous food and drinks prices

    Paul Gerrard
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And some genius at the cricket makes a snake. Does Richard Branson fund that?

    ravn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend just came back from a Dead show at the Sphere in Las Vegas. She said shots were 55 USD, 110 for a double!!

    View more comments
    #24

    British-Humour

    99coin , HanaMichels Report

    Mark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are correct here, and the original patent agrees https://patents.google.com/patent/US465588A/en

    Load More Replies...
    Deborah McKenney
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, you are wrong. beards good; mullets bad.

    Asmodeus Hare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless Cat. Cat would more likely roll up the tp than unroll it. -guy that had cats for 30 years.

    Load More Replies...
    Ace
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you still haven't fixed it after a year? You are some sort of monster.

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you'll never get a man until you fix it !!

    Red_panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My uncle (who I live with, he is awesome) puts the paper towel the wrong way just to mess with me and watch me fix it. It finds it funny.

    Bell-icose
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been married to one of your kind for many years. You're wrong an you know it. Toilet paper should not go that way. However, please hear me on this one. If that's all you have to fight about in your relationship, you will have a wonderful life with one of those (100% correct) Tinder suitors.

    Greg Baughman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But that IS the correct way if she has a cat. A cat can't unroll it that way.

    View more comments

    Much has been written about Americans and British getting lost in transatlantic translation. Some accounts are more hilarious than others. Bored Panda found this gem on BBC that we thought we’d share:

    “A commenter named Brian D on Ben Yagoda’s blog, Not One-Off Britishisms, told the story of a group of British engineers from his company, sent to work at Wang Labs in Massachusetts. They were asked to attend a meeting to recognize an employee for outstanding achievement: It was announced from the stage that this person was a King in the company and so would be presented with the Wang King award. The entire British contingent had to leave the room in hysterics.”

    #25

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somewhat amused and somewhat astonished that cow milk gets "t" and not "c."

    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then coconuT defaults to T and someone(s) with a milk allergy or lactose intolerance is in for a bad day!

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently you can get poisoned by other people's tit milk cos of antibodies. Would explain all the little f*****g gremlins out there....

    Gracie Mae
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know everyone is distracted by the tit, but they forgot cow!

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would definately take the tit coffee.

    Robert Millar
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cow, ostrich, snake, termagent, alpaca.

    Ashlie Dearest
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whatever happened to just plain black coffee?!

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If they really want more business, the "T" option should be self-serve.

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    please . I want to know everything about the coding now.

    View more comments
    #26

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of the time I whooped my now husband's backside playing Mortal Combat. I had never played it before, didn't know what buttons did what or the stats of the characters were. He was thoroughly well and truly thrashed lol. Knowing then what I know now, I would have done a victory lap round the living room lol.

    LinkTheHylian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone know if she's still single?

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whats up with the people finding this hard to believe? Lol. Totally believeable, some people just suck at games, and im probably one of them as i only ever play on medium difficulty.

    Frunkadunk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Made my ex teach me how to play Tiger Woods golf on the original Xbox so I could actually spend time with him back in the day. Turns out I was badass at the game. Turns out he was a sore loser. Turns out we divorced 6 months later. 🤣

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol. Not a match with this one then. .... which is ironic, as you won the match. *I'll get me coat*

    LyriQal
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Today in things that never happened

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alright, calm down Jonathan Frakes, it could have happened. People get very salty about FIFA

    Load More Replies...
    #27

    British-Humour

    99coin , charlotte_ord Report

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truth. Add people who don’t fill their Yorkshire puddings with gravy to that list.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hmm I wonder if our "friends across the pond" know the correct sauces for various cuts. Mint: lamb. Cranberry: Turkey. (They invented that one). Ham: Apple sauce. Beef: Horseradish or Mustard.

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    do you mean condiments? surely these are not gravy.

    Load More Replies...
    Red_panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah man, if I've spent $80 on a prime rib, then hours prepping and cooking i5 to perfection, then no sauce will be used on it. My daughter puts ketchup on my christmas prime rib, and I let her; but it makes me die a little inside every time.

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what do you do with all the amazing flavorful juices and pan bits if they're not being scraped up to make gravy? Please don't tell me that you're just chucking away all those great flavors.

    Load More Replies...
    Shaunn Munn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gravy on poultry too! 🦃🐔🐓🦆🦤

    Laughing Orc
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see the non-Brits in the comments here being a bit confused, so let me clarify: roast means a roast dinner, the whole thing, not just the meat. And gravy is a specific sauce generally made with the juices of the meat and/or stock.

    Laughing Orc
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, my wife used to hate gravy on her food, but it turns out that the way her parents made gravy is basically brown water with no flavour. When she discovered my Nan's version of real gravy she fell in love with it.

    Load More Replies...
    Chilli
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I don't trust you either >:|

    Catherine Hutt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My gravy should only be used in hand to hand combat. Consider yourself lucky.

    View more comments

    The British take their humor seriously. Even with a straight face. If you struggle to understand their dry wit, we have some good news for you. A group of scientists recently developed a device that detects when someone is being sarcastic. And it might be just what’s needed to bridge the barrier so that we can all laugh around the pond together.

    What boggles your mind the most about British humor? Have you ever been the butt of a British joke? Let us know all about it in the comments.

    #28

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And when she used to squeeze your toes to see if there was enough room for growth.

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Wiggle your toes so I can see there they come"

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember those machines with a dip you put your foot into, and blocks would move in from all sides to measure your foot.

    Squirrel Chaser
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better than the days when they had unshielded x-ray machines in the shoe shops.

    Load More Replies...
    Winter
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I remember! And they always felt awful! It's why I have always **DETESTED** shoes! (Mind you, I DO have VERY big feet (11 1/2, at time of writing (I'm 78)) and every shoe shop we went into the salesgirls would look at my feet in consternation: "I'm sorry Madam, we don't have any children's shoes to fit your daughter!" - Oh, the shame of it all - I'd come home in tears! (rolls eyes!))

    Widdershins66
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clark's school shoes measured on that cool machine including width measurements 🤓

    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I kiss getting measured. Here I am as a grown adult, I buy shoes but I am not entirely sure what my size is

    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most have online measurement charts where you can check for sizing, I always do this to check. Eg my foot length is 22cm and sometimes im a 35.5 sometimes 36 depending on make and model

    Load More Replies...
    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The assistant in the shop would press the end of the shoe to show my Mum there was space beyond my toes, that was the 'growing room'.

    Karina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still do this?. Thats how you test if they fit well..

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, only got goodwill shoes and if they could go on your foot, that was it.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. They don't let you do it now in case you door dash and leave your smelly pumas behind.

    View more comments
    #29

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We had hot pink bubblegum flavor. Looked like pepto.

    Nuku Nyara
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The vet would give me banana flavor amoxicillin for my cat's sinus infection. Why make the cat amoxicillin banana flavor?! Salmon oil flavor would be better!

    Cally2001
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had to take it regularly this has brought back long buried memories!!!!

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ""ItS bAnAnA fLaVoUrEd" It's pure zinc, that's all you can taste

    Charl Marx
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! But I think it was maybe only available for a brief period in the 90s. My husband is 7 years older than me and he swears he had cherry flavour.

    A C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can almost taste it. I also remember how it made my pee smell.

    catastrophegirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    injured rescue turtles like the banana flavor best

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. Only Barbie Pink.

    Frunkadunk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that Americans & Brits had different colored and flavored amoxicillin growing up. For some reason that may be my favorite difference between our countries, yet.

    Castles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Evil horrible stuff 🤢 I had to take this after picking up cute hairy caterpillars.

    View more comments
    #30

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does she know this, I wonder. Well, she bloody does now....

    MissCris
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is he the same bin man from the other post?

    Joshua Seaman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you didn't have healthy role models as a child?

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not the worst thing he could do with it.

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, no professional pride there. if doctors acted like that... needs to grow up. Just do your job anyway and stop being so emotionally driven :p clearly shes still got power over that guy, cant make peace and move on with his life enough to just do the job properly regardless of whose house.... going out of his way here to be petty for ages....

    #31

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Nota Robot
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my fondest memories from when we were vacationing in Austria: We were having dinner in a packed restaurant and minding our own business when suddenly the lights turned off. Two waiters carrying a dessert with fireworks approached a table and started to sing. They didn't get further than "happ.." before the sole woman at the table laughingly interrupted them saying (in German): No,no, she's in the toilet ". The waiters disappeared, the light switched back on and everyone in the restaurant was laughing. At that point the birthday woman returns, looking around oddly. As she rejoins her friend, the waiters and fireworks-dessert reappear and as they start to sing, everyone loudly joins in.

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh I just sing right back at them. Usually someone else's national anthem. Standing up.

    Sue Phillips
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I quit going out on my birthday with my parents because they wouldn't stop doing this.

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sure I looked more disgruntled than this guy whenever that happened to me. (Digression - Why is one who's annoyed "disgruntled", but one who is pleased is never described as "gruntled"? If anyone has a good explanation, I'd be gruntled to read it.)

    Kelly H. Wilder
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @Lotekguy, thanks for helping me learn something new today! I don't know why the word fell out of favor, but it actually is a word. Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gruntled#:~:text=grun%C2%B7%E2%80%8Btled%20%CB%88gr%C9%99n%2Dt%E1%B5%8Ald,formers%20packed%20up%20and%20left.

    Load More Replies...
    Diana Lucas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went out to dinner with my family yesterday for my daughter's 24th birthday. We saw other people getting the birthday treatment (song, dessert) from the waiters. I asked my daughter if she wanted that, too. She definitely did not. LOL

    Ashlie Dearest
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I share a birthday with 3 immediate family members, so we save the embarrassment, until we arrive back home, for second class singing, and cake.

    Damned_Cat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get pissed if that doesn't happen!

    Nunyab
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You get drunk if people don't sing happy birthday?

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #32

    British-Humour

    99coin , jonnohopkins Report

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm currently in 3 group chats with people I do not know. I feel bad about missing two shifts at the bar, not putting money in for Aunt Chris' birthday present, and I may have started a war over Blair's wedding dress (sorry not sorry, it's hideous and you all know it).

    Tara Newman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This happens to my Peter, he was added to a random group chat 😨

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm assuming Peter (not your dad) had such a boring life he found your group chat interesting.

    #33

    British-Humour

    99coin , JayTorch1031 Report

    DudeFortitude (He/Him)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I CANT BELIEVE MY DAUGHTER IS TURNING -45!!!

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's minus 45? Are you time travellers?

    Load More Replies...
    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My birthday is coming up. I'm going to be 11, because 5 and 6 are NOT 56. They are 11.

    Amelia Jade
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh...in that case, I'm turning 5 in October.

    Load More Replies...
    BatPhace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just turned 40 in July and my ma just looked at me and said "she didn't feel old enough to have a 40yr old daughter" meanwhile I feel old enough to have a 40yr old daughter 🙃

    Julie Bradley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe that I'M turning whatever age is next. So old I forgot. Well, at least I"m still here

    Zaach
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe that I might have great grandchild out there - the great grandma sicced a motorcycle gang on me so I do not expect to be contacted any time soon (1970 was an odd year for me)

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe my daughters make it out of childhood! (joke)

    Kerry
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or those that wish their kid would stay 3 years old forever...you want it to d!e?

    Display_Name
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg!! My kid has lived another year!!!

    View more comments
    #34

    British-Humour

    99coin , brianefc1 Report

    YukiChou
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, you could've chosen a different check out lane. This is plain meanness.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you know there was another check out lane open? Our Aldi's rarely has more than one.

    Load More Replies...
    Verena
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So a product that needs to be cooled ended up to be tossed? I do not mind eating meat, but I absolutely do mind if animals are killed and then tossed. Whoever thinks this is funny: Go to a farmer, grab a calf and dump it into the bin. It is the same.

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love "petty", but what has Aldi tone to you ?? They need to return it and the burgers are gone for sure

    Birb
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw this a few months earlier, snd it was written by a girl who was pissed about this

    trollingergirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have read this before, also, but I find it funny every time. Too bad she hadn't sanitary products to hide, too.

    Load More Replies...
    Petra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is entitled, mean behavior. It's nice if someone with more items let's someone with less items go first, but it's not required. The absence of a positive is not automatically a negative. Sometimes, it's just neutral.

    LonelyLittleLeafSheep
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So just because you only have 2 items you should be allowed to cut in line? Sounds like an entitled c**t to me.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In most of the places I've lived, it has been a common courtesy extended amongst the population, reserved for when the disparity is significant, e.g. two items vs 100 items. Have you not noticed this when you've gone shopping?

    Load More Replies...
    Duncan McCann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Licks finger and writes imaginary '1'*

    SkippityBoppityBoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is one of the things that does cause hassle for supermarkets. People not realising that frozen or chilled food cannot be replaced back in the freezer/fridge if its been left out on an open shelf elsewhere. It has to be thrown away which causes prices to go up as its a company and they have to recoup the cost somehow. I have seen people defending doing this by saying - "It's only one packet of burgers!"... Yes, one packet to you but say 20 people do the same thing? The cost adds up. A £4 (for example) packet of burgers times by 20 is £80. If the same happens every day for a week? That's £560.

    Nova yt
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate when I let someone go then start loading up the belt and a new few items person comes up but they don't know I already let someone go and am actually generous, it's always a tough call bc I could end up in a vicious cycle and never get to check out.

    Science Nerd
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Instead of wasting the food as others pointed out, you could have added a few more items to the checkout. Wonder what she would do with anchovies, pig trotters, and kohlrabi?

    Tom Brincefield
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because she was a wizard who could make all this stuff appear out of nowhere while standing in the checkout line. 🙄

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #35

    British-Humour

    99coin , chrisbradish Report

    Captive
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm disturbed by the beans in a bucket!

    SnackbarKaat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didnt even saw that yet, bloody hell that's even more awful than the shovel

    Load More Replies...
    Lesley Relph
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a shovel. That doesn't make it better or worse.

    Bell-icose
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ploughman's Breakfast.

    Peppy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooh yum scrum pigs bum, that looks delicious 🤤

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's when they serve stuff with gravy on a slate....

    Crouching hippo hidden panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So unhygienic. How do they thoroughly clean it between customers

    Hinrik Ævarsson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    English is alright, but right now I'm lying in in bed thinking about the full Scottish I had on my honeymoon. Had haggis and blood sausage as well as most of the bits in a full English. I felt fortified. Now I gotta get up and eat cereal.

    SageHare37
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh. Don't serve commercial food on things that cannot be fully sanitized. Also, it's not safe to serve acidic food in galvanized containers (tomato content of baked beans).

    View more comments
    #36

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not that different from us germans though, any other place where that's quite common?

    Bec
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Right now in the US it's, Is the neighbor bbqing or is that wildfire smoke?

    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why say it? I lit the damn thing myself !!

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was thinking "wait, I don-" and then remembered that I totally do in fact do this.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did it twice last evening alone.

    Beachbum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think this is with any country!

    Meagan Glaser
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Midwest variant :"someone's having a cookout or burning leaves"

    View more comments
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #37

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    DE Ray
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My manager. A pound of tuna and a pound of broccoli every day. Not only had the stink of microwaved fish and broccoli, but would often not finish it and leave the remains in the bin - which wouldn't be emptied until the next morning. Sometimes when coming into the office early, the smell would literally make my eyes water.

    Damned_Cat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh! We once had an employee do that while we were setting up for an office baby shower. We had a lovely party with the miasma of fish, broccoli, and cheap office air freshener hanging in the breakroom.

    Load More Replies...
    InfamousBerry34
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree, so shellfish (I'll see myself out)

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The most selfish people ever to exist do not appear in workplaces - they merely own them.

    Rob Williams
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try people who cook liver in the work microwave! Yes, Melvin...I remember!

    George Costanza
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah. Their food is their food. You can survive a smell you don't like for a few minutes. You'll live.

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our entire office will shame you for daring.

    Display_Name
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had someone in a 6x12 building that would boil eggs in the microwave. That makes me nauseous.

    View more comments
    #38

    British-Humour

    99coin , Sayers33 Report

    A C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does anyone else remember when these were called clothes horses?

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's where stuff dries the best so yeah, for the goodies.

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my wife hangs out the washing she puts her underwear in the middle so the neighbors don't see it. When I hang it out I put it on the outside so they can see how sexy it is.

    Svenne O'Lotta
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Obviously, it's for the stuff I want to dry the fastest

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I decide what goes where by the length of the item, not the weight or value. Is that incorrect?

    highwaycrossingfrog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first consideration is length, the second is volume, the third is thickness

    Load More Replies...
    Leigh Durrant
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the holes on the ends are for hangers

    CCLoos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Half the time I don't even lay the stuff flat on the other rungs.

    Julie Bradley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a condenser heat pump clothes dryer. Just shove it all in.

    View more comments
    #39

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Paul C.
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a young man at my first job, one of the drivers used to put his meat pie in foil, under the bonnet/hood of his van. Would come back a couple of hours later and it was just perfect. Lord knows how long it took him to get timings and position just right.

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As an American, this sounds like it's going very badly. "As a young man at my first job, one of the drivers used to put his meat pie in foil under the bonnet." Nope. I don't know what it's an innuendo for. It's just those words are so rare in American dialect, there must be an indecent meaning to them.

    Load More Replies...
    HeavyMetalHeart
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Microwave makes the pastry go soggy, so he has a point.

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How long for? Because I see a food-borne illness waiting to happen here. ( I used to teach food safety, trust me when I say this is not a good idea)

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Startling waste of time/lecky. That's what Air Fryers are for!

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the heater's on anyway it's saving electricity.

    Load More Replies...
    Bell-icose
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You do NOT want to know how he prepares a Scotch egg.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the radiator is on, this makes sense because it isn't using any extra energy to heat the sausage roll this way. Secondly pastry can go soggy in the microwave.

    Jacquie Carr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's right; microwaving it makes the pastry soggy

    Cydney Golden
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a conversation once with a stranger about how they put raw fish and herbs in foil and put it on their motor to cook it while driving somewhere...

    View more comments
    #40

    British-Humour

    99coin , Hjaston Report

    Duncan McCann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as she cleans quietly, no problem.

    Tom Nagel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly, and don't look at me during either.

    Load More Replies...
    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe shes mad at you for being hungover on cleaning day and not helping

    Shakespeare
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clean the house top to bottom before you go out drinking, then you won't have to do it hungover

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty sure I know what you are saying, and yes, and it sucks!

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That scene in Trainspotting.

    TribbleThinking
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It can be house cleaning day any day you decide to do it. 🙂

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Sadistic cow

    #41

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    £20? For CHIPS? Even in London, no! And you NEVER have pepper in a chippy! I reckon this is a scam.....

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Salt and pepper chips come from the Chinese, not the chippy. They're made with salt, garlic, and usually chilli rather than black pepper.

    Load More Replies...
    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't believe it's Taylor Swift messaging 'Hey it's Taylor swift', just like I only use my full name to people I've only met once or twice before.

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aaaand again, I wonder how many idiots fell for this?

    Eugenia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, a poor guy in Italy committed suicide a couple of months ago because he had finally understood that the person who claimed to be in love with him and had borrowed 5000 euros from him was not the real Dua Lipa. He kept saying his friends that she was his fiancèe and soon would meet him.

    jennifer brinkman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it was really her she would not need to borrow anything. Her fans would give her anything!

    m0@nlight
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm always going out of my way to get to the British food store here to buy the salt and pepper chips....I Love them!! In Canada

    View more comments
    #42

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Aaaaaand that's why companies limit customer returns. Not bright.

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More and more online retailers are starting to charge for returns. I only buy what I need and if I have to pay a delivery charge, it's fine. If I didn't want to pay it, I would get off my lazy ãrse and go to the shop.

    Load More Replies...
    S P1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is really costly for businesses, especially small ones. And, let's face it, it's basically fraud. Not sure why businesses don't then charge you for shipping if your returns drop you below the threshold.

    rorschach-penguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When they refund the item, they subtract the cost of the original shipping of the kept items...

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I DO NOT understand why people take advantage like that . Waste of money and resources.

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just spent an hour looking for something I could possibly want to get free overnight delivery. So now I have two packs of ducky sponges coming. Merry White Elephant.

    Castles
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she keeps on doing that, won't she get black-listed or something?

    Tom Brincefield
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always use the free delivery option when I order from Amazon. If it takes 3 to 5 days, it will probably beat me there.

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I got an "undeliverable" notice, reordered the same. Takes 21 days. Back and fro from China?

    Paulina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whoa, all the people getting angry! Stop defending corporates for charging you unnecessary stuff - start siding with the customers 💪 Those shipping costs are miniscule in the scale of corporate profits! And the bigger the store, the smaller the negotiated fee that delivery companies charge them. Demand free returns (and delivery, in fact) because you already pay them s*hitloads for the items and they are NOT going bankrupt for covering this tiny fees. (Yes, I know of existence of small, local stores - but those usually have a lot higher thresholds for free delivery/return precisely BECAUSE that would cover the postage fee!)

    View more comments
    #43

    British-Humour

    99coin , CharlieWhite_22 Report

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too, along with Brussel sprouts and cauliflower.

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something about your taste buds changes as you age, so foods taste different, and you can eat liver without gagging (or is this BS?)

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. When you're a kid you've got about three times as many taste buds as your nan.

    Load More Replies...
    TotallyNOTAFox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always liked broccoli and veggies - cauliflower still tastes way too bitter though, no matter how it's cooked

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, sprouts are bitter.... cauliflower is just bland.

    Load More Replies...
    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just wait until you learn about Brussels sprouts! I a wok with potatoes, garlic onions bell peppers, much chilly and plenty of bacon

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a lot of work to hide the taste of the sprouts 😂😂

    Load More Replies...
    Paulina
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never had problems with broccoli or spinach, but I've grown out of liking tomatoes. Anyone else?

    Saddest_Lion
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I ever do, you'll know I've got dementia or had a stroke

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mother often used to do broccoli with dinner. When I met my then husband, he'd never eaten it until he came to us. Then we married and he always cooked it in the microwave, and (to my taste) it wasn't quite done. But I don't have to worry anymore. (Sorry for random story.)

    Marianne Grann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    broccoli wasn’t invented in Denmark 70 years ago when I was a toddler, I first got to know it as a grown-up and I liked it from the very start!

    Whoopdeedoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was 8 I just.. decided i loved it. my sisters are still getting there tho 😁

    Wm Paul Robinson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No chance I'm gonna start eating bonsai trees at my age!

    View more comments
    #44

    British-Humour

    99coin , _lucybaulf Report

    Gabriele Alfredo Pini
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My boss obliged me to take my annual paid leave, so that he could close the office and go to vacation too

    Jess Smith
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where do you work and does it have a US office?

    Load More Replies...
    ZGutr
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Europe be like "You haven't taken up enough days to comply. Take a block of at least two weeks off or we will send you on a holiday our selves" (nope, not joking)

    Ryan-James O'Driscoll
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is important to always remember that the organisation will continue to exist in your absence. It will not burst into flame. It will not collapse with your position as the epicentre.

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You say that, but I'm the only one who can do my job, and we haven't even been able to hire anyone with the required skills to join me. Not only that, but even someone with the required skills would take months to get up to speed on our specific circumstances. Plus what I do brings in 70% of our revenue... I really ought to be paid more.

    Load More Replies...
    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where I work if you don't book your entitled holiday they will book it for you.

    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I work for a University where you can only carry over so much to force you to use it. And then they only give you a few holidays so unless you want to hang out with these people for all 52 weeks you better plan a something somewhere.

    Sarah Matsoukis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you were trained to feel that way

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know people in Aus who have years worth of holidays. If they took it that company would be in the mud :p so i kind of get a boss wanting you to take it. But force it? Book it for you? That just is so wrong to me

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cos all managers are bastards

    #45

    British-Humour

    99coin , atdanwhite Report

    les
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this aint british and the dad being under dad cell proves it. we call them mobiles. this is definately an american

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'Driving' is a pre-set response on many SMS systems. It's a single press and let's the other person know that you're not ignoring them, you can't can't reply at the moment.

    Laughing Orc
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clearly not British. "Dad cell" is a dead giveaway, and no Brit in their right mind calls their dad 'pop'. Swinging a bat isn't very British either, unless you're talking about a cricket bat

    Nunyab
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's American, not British

    S P1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shouldn't be texting then.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, mines dead, but my Mum would go "oK. Ta"

    Doofnuts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's tearing up, I guarentee you he's tearing up.

    Manicmary
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad replies with same here when I tell him I love him

    UKGrandad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He probably did. 'Driving' is a preset response that you send with a single press, letting the other person know that you have seen the message but can't respond straight away.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #46

    British-Humour

    99coin , _cobibudge Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Food is fine. It's the coven of pramface teenage girls, the fat old racist in the Union Jack wifebeater and the broccoli heads in puffa jackets that put me off. Truly the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in the Galaxy....

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because I know there will be non Brits here, Spoons is WhetherSpoons

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No it's not, don't lie. It's a shop that sells only one type of cutlery, and gives you free food so you can sample the feel of the spoon in your mouth.

    Load More Replies...
    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Such a shame they're owned by the odious, brexit-loving, "I can't hire enough foreign workers now", wanker that is Tim Martin.

    Paul C.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They do a great breakfast too, with unlimited coffee refills. Don't be a snob give it a go.

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not a snob, I just refuse to give that tosspot owner my hard earned money!

    Load More Replies...
    Castles
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had the steak for the first time a few weeks ago and was really good. Going tomorrow for another steak 😋

    BrunoVI
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    American me: Naffer food? What do naffers eat?

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Naff = rubbish, so naff-er is more rubbishy

    Load More Replies...
    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spoons is decent food I like eating in spoons.

    bernie bulk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    please interpret, naffer, love australia

    Sheena Leversedge Wood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    fair. our localish one has one of my favourite local ciders on tap (actually several, but there's one I particularly like, which isn't that common to find in pubs or supermarkets) and I agree. their pizzas ARE good, and if I have a steak, they tend to actually cook it rare for me, whearas so many places overcook it. it's not perfect every time, but it's mostly in the right area. also, it used to be a posh hotel, so the building itself is actually really quite nice inside. and the staff are really lovely, and hard working, but always cheerful and friendly. they can vary, but our "local" is a nice place to finish a days shopping, much as the owner is a tit

    View more comments
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #47

    British-Humour

    99coin , Evecornwell Report

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, and Romans, and early Mediaeval, and 18th century military, and WWII. We had not very difficult access to farm museums, Roman ruins, castles, artillery castle forts, 18th/19th century land forts, and a naval dockyard within 10 miles (though I think the furthest of these was just shy of 7 miles away). ed: reading through this again, yu really can tell that the area I grew up in was a major historical military area, I think some parts of these places are still owned by the MoD.

    Alex Boyd
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That actually sounds kind of good? We (in US) went to a battlefield from our Civil War, and they made us draw names of real soldiers from history, and as we walked across the battlefield they told us where our guy died. (Pretending to take a minne ball to the chest and/or acting out dramatic death scenes was not permitted.)

    Zero Costa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    as a kid in early 2000s Aus we went to some farm and learnt how they did stuff before modern amenities but there wasn't any dressing up about it 😭

    Shaun Coleman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my nan visited us in Canada, we took her to a Black Creek Pioneer Village in Toronto. She couldn't understand the fuss and said that was how they did things when she was growing up. Also, she said the actors were doing their tasks wrong and started to tell them how to do things correctly. She grew up in Somerset.

    Bec
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Midwest US, it was pioneer days. My grandma volunteered and showed us how to churn butter and we all got to eat fresh butter on crackers.

    Dark Pearl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i remember when we had victorian day in primary, all the other girls dressed in fancy maid dresses and i swiped black eyeshadow on my face, put grubby comfy clothes and a cap on and went around as a chimney sweep. i think this was the first indicator of my transness

    mysterious(all pronouns)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    American here. We did a trip where we spent a day in a one room school house, and learned about one room school houses.

    Red_panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In American we did the old timey settlers. Dresses/bonnets and fancy mens hats.

    View more comments
    #48

    British-Humour

    99coin , DanStuart9 Report

    El Dee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Used to love shopping at Christmas when they were open 24/7 and doing it at 3am when it was quiet and so avoiding the horror of daytime Christmas shoppers..

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Would be awesome if other shops did this. I really hate going round the city centre when there's hoards of ppl about....

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Friday night fill up, to buy booze and rotisserie chicken, and Haribo Tangfastics, and Cornetto, and so many types of crisps. Now they've stopped doing DVDs so you can't buy a c**p film to fall asleep during.

    Tom De Paul
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Target here in the US with extra time spent in electronics (or a separate stop at Best Buy).

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Went to a 24 hour ASDA once at 4am. STILL HAD TO QUEUE!

    S P1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my 20s at 2am drunk looking for a prawn and cocktail sandwich and an onion barji.

    Dame Cherry
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God I miss 24 hour supermarkets

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, like well chiseled looking upper body dummies

    Susan Vandenassem
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Change the store name to a 24-hr "Shoppers D**g Mart", or even a 7-11, & I hear ya loud & clear, my good man. (Again, me 🇨🇦)

    #49

    British-Humour

    99coin , LouieMalaspina Report

    Auntriarch
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I generally say in a hopeful voice, don't you want that then...

    Hmmm hmmmm
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about fried bread, a British delicacy. It's served in a full English and is bread fried in the bacon fat from cooking your bacon. Heavenly. After you've had it once you'll never go back to toast

    Lotekguy
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wasting ANY bacon oughtta be considered a hangin' offense. I was raised in a kosher home and spent my entire adult life making up for those years of pork and shellfish deprivation. Bask in the bounty of bacon before us!

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I use it cut up tiny and kept aside for fried rice. Rindless bacon costs more. May as well use it and save the dollars

    jennifer brinkman
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only if it's cooked right. Hate slimy fat

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Smoked streaky bacon lightly cooked for the win!

    Deborah B
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's only the best bit if it's crispy.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Twice I choked on the rind never again.

    Caroline Overill
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excuse me old boy I think you’ll find it is the best bit but has to be nice and crispy of course good old white bread lots of butter.. actually I believe I have two slices of bacon left in the fridge. Toodles.

    View more comments
    #50

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Boo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whole CONservative party can go to hell as far as I'm concerned!

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fück off Rishi

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fishy Rishi, who'd a thunk you'd make us nostalgic for Theresa May?

    Sarah K
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This proves that GB isn't just another country, it's a parallel universe. I don't get half of these posts.

    Catnip Stargazer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm born and bred Deep South USA and I understood most of them. But I was accused of having a Brit accent more than once, so....

    Load More Replies...
    Cuppa tea?
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Ah, the good old times, when India ruled over England.

    View more comments
    #51

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He just doesn't want to touch a BR train with bare skin.

    Taki Takanashi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought there was a lamp coming out of his head and got really disturbed for a few moments.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    maybe he likes softened Twix.

    #52

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Odd picture of some stairs.

    Alpha 1 Solace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am jealous about the hair. My hair doesnt look like that with kids, i brush their hair and run out of time for anything but a quick comb for mine Also... ♡ he has a kind face combined with my gosh, muscles ♡

    MP Deco
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    apparently, he is one hell of a good guy...look up what he has done for Make a Wish children, sadly kids with a terminal illness and he has hlped hundreds! John Cena...mr. nice guy.

    Load More Replies...
    #53

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Mary Mulligan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another happy day in Paradise Just living the dream Another day another dollar

    Gibberint Dark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You call some place paradise... Kiss it goodbye... ~*Henley, Frey*~

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just "CBA, mate" muttered under your breath.

    Susan Vandenassem
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not even entirely sure what this means, but love it regardless!

    #54

    British-Humour

    99coin , AvonandsomerRob Report

    James016
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the herbs in KFC’s blend is an ‘’erb.

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Our local KFC used to routinely run out of cooked chicken. "There's a 15 minute wait on the chicken, is that OK?" No it's not OK. You're a FECKING CHICKEN SHOP. It's literally the only thing you sell, so I expect you to predict the amount of chicken you might need AT LUNCHTIME a little bit better. I'm looking at you, Chris the Idiot.

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At KFC they have their chicken heads screwed on properly

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It truly surprised my Korean-American husband that there are KFC's in GB.

    #55

    British-Humour

    99coin , JustSarahJay Report

    Susan Vandenassem
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. Four hours later: room still only one-quarter tied up. That is some seriously awesome headgear BTW - perhaps even "brilliant"!

    #56

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Meowzers!
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only acceptable answers to this question are; 1. Yeah, not bad, ta! 2. Could be worse. 3. Yeah, you? 4. Aye.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, you just say "alright" back in the same tone of voice.

    Load More Replies...
    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No you say "Alright" then they say "Alright" that's it nothing else needed.

    El Dee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What DOES it mean then??

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It means that you say "Yes, you?" They say yes, and you either walk away or ask about the weather

    Load More Replies...
    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It means that you say "Yes, you?" They say yes, and you either walk away or ask about the weather

    Load More Replies...
    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am just cracking up reading people asking what it means and people replying NOT what it means but with the expected answer. Y'all from across the drink, they are asking "How are you? " NOT in the sense that they want to know if you are ok - and the replies that are listed here are the expected answers. It is a "how do you do" type of greeting.

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same here. We never ask that in Germany

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asking how someone is has to be one of the most common greetings in the world, you're not expected in any of those countries to say the truth.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took you long enough.

    View more comments
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #57

    British-Humour

    99coin , KirstyKelly_11 Report

    Duncan McCann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I sincerely hope to never clap eyes on anyone from my school ever again.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seconded. Best years of my life? Kiss my fat a**e!

    Load More Replies...
    Susan Reid Smith
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to have three people I knew from high school on my Facebook. Now it is 2 because my sister unfriended me. That's ok.

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I apply patience in my home town when people barely make it walking across the street. Could be my old school mate.

    #58

    British-Humour

    99coin , blondietori88 Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You're not my mother!" "Yes, I AM!" Could have been worse, could have been Pat Butcher....

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that scene. That and dirty Den giving Ang the divorce papers at Christmas.

    Load More Replies...
    Mystery Kitteh
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ummm can you "translate this conversation"?

    #59

    British-Humour

    99coin , tamerawallwork_ Report

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks for letting me know it is not just the US that has gone bonkers.

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not? It's £6.39 for a medium and £7.09 for a large. Price of meat has skyrocketed. Still cheaper than BK.

    Amy S
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Prices vary from restaurant to restaurant.

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mcdonalds has shot itself in the goolies charging restaurant prices for their c**p.

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's because we pay our staff a minimum wage they have to put the prices up to compensate 😜

    #60

    British-Humour

    99coin , CiTheGoonerxx Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Really? The 72 inch TV?

    les
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    unfortunatelly this will only get you arrested for theft or fraud. tesco reduced labels are item specific because thats how the ordering system works. if 150 reduced items are sold, they still want to know what the item was so they can get more

    Roxy222uk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, the bar code will bring up on the till what the item is. I'm presuming it's a joke, but not a particularly funny one.

    Load More Replies...
    #61

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooooo, that's the best bit, you monster.

    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't put it in the bin, I give it to my partner, who appreciates the free glace cherry knowing that I can't stand the texture. In exchange, I get their unwanted gherkins. It's a win/win!

    Phantom Phoenix
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How have they ended up with unwanted gherkins on their cherry tart?

    Load More Replies...
    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, you bite it out, you absolute chimney pot. I bought a box of them the other day because they're the best bit

    Tim Fawcett
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With all due respect, you, my friend, are an utter muppet! A complete and utter Greggs Vegan Sausage Roll.

    Load More Replies...
    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should be locked up!

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd eat the cherry, you can have the rest.

    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah that. But then, the rest of the Cherry Bakewell would follow.

    Dame Cherry
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    put the whole thing in the bin! Almonds are the devils foot shavings... and coconut are his toenails

    Hmmm hmmmm
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What... Have ... You ... Done...

    View more comments
    #62

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    #63

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh dear, downvotes from the humour impaired who don't recognise a film quote

    Load More Replies...
    Michelle Forbes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't go anywhere without some jack a*s taking pics of you and uploading then to their pathetic social media

    #64

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    Julie S
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How awful for you

    Gibberint Dark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never got to watch Friends even when it was on Channel 4... I was too busy having a life...

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've never seen an episode. Truth.

    #65

    British-Humour

    99coin , elhullxnd Report

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #67

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dominos where I am is £49.99 minimum order. They can go f**k themselves, they are 15 minutes away, tops.

    Mike F
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spent $22 for a Little Cesar's pepperoni pizza ("hot & ready") and a couple of chicken wings a couple of weeks ago. It was then I remembered that was the reason I haven't gone there since 2018. Robbery.

    Load More Replies...
    #68

    British-Humour

    99coin , EFCMrT Report

    Steinem Sukker Rumpe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A genre of porn is shot in the back of a black cab. They drive the cab aroubd while they bang and film it. Also, don't buy a black leather couch.

    Load More Replies...
    Maartje
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am confused here , CBeebies is a children's channel that got dumped in with adult channels for a bit, from what I can gather- but what is this, a screw- up where parents turned on what they thought is a children's channel and they got porn? Can someone explain in more detail? And IF this is a porn channel, how come it identifies as CBeebies? Thanks-

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought that was JoJo Siwa for a second, my life

    #69

    British-Humour

    99coin , billymoney77 Report

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well they saw they screenshotted their dinner, so they thought it was to make fun of it. Which is a fair assumption when you have steak and halloumi fries

    Load More Replies...
    #70

    British-Humour

    99coin Report

    G A
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't think this is anything to do with the UK, and makes no sense, either....

    The explanation
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The person who posted it is probably from England, especially since they said ya. Also it does make sense. When people say, "Oh, I don't know what to have" if they had actually chosen, they'd have flown them to mexico

    Load More Replies...
    Duncan McCann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Over 11 hours to fly UK-Mexico. She must have been starving by the time you got there. Deliveroo is much easier mate.

    Mary Peace
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So they flew to Mexico but didn't bother to take any clothes.

    Cindy Brick
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I said pizza, Husband would just go to the freezer and get out a frozen one...

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's in New Mexico. They are trying to show off. She even has a remote for his...