Britain has brought us lots of things. Shakespeare. Fish and chips. Afternoon tea. Cucumber sandwiches. And of course, the Queen's English. But there's something else the British are super proud of: their sick sense of humor.
British humor isn’t everyone’s cuppa tea. Still, there’s no denying the Brits have produced some absolute bangers from across the pond. Mr Bean, Mrs Bucket, Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Ali G, and The Office. To name but a few.
A Facebook page called “There should be a 99p coin” has over a million followers. They’re dedicated to bringing us the best Britain has to offer. Keep scrolling for a list of our favorite funnies that might make even the stiffest upper lip crack a smile.
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They changed to a digital system. When she contacted them and told them her story they found a CD copy of the announcement to give to her. They also restored the old version so he is once more reminding everyone to "Mind the gap".
I would love to have a voice recording of my late husband. 9/2004. R.I.P. 💗
Load More Replies...If anyone wants to listen to that audio then it's on the embankment station northbound. It's a different audio to the whole rest of the tube line. It's a really sweet story
I like to say it a very cheerful voice, which makes the imploite recipient adopt a confused look as if they are wondering, "wait, did I say thank you?"
Load More Replies...Why would they? They rightfully expect you to do the jobs for which you were hired.
Load More Replies...I always say "you're welcome no need to thank me, oh yeah you didn't" but usually only in my head.
There's a bike lane right next to the sidewalk in a park I go to everyday. Yet some cyclists decide to ride on the sidewalk. I usually sigh dramatically and go "If only there was a bike lane somewhere here!"
A cyclist riding by wouldn't be able to hear most, if any, of what was said ⁴
Load More Replies...Me too. Adding sometimes: is this a special day or you are always this rude?
If done in the right tone, it can be a teaching moment, but few wish to be taught.
Do I upvote for agreeing (I also do this) or downvote for disagreeing with it being a *bad* habit??
If I enjoy reading something and/or imagining it, I upvote. Judging it is separate.
Load More Replies...at least they're polite about it; over here it'd be appended by "a**hole!"
The British have nice hash browns. Not the c**p mcdonald's convinces children are hash browns.
British hash browns are far superior to the Tasty Tots version over here! You could have them for dinner indeed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLIjC9YtTSs
Tongue in cheek. And cheeky. British humor has become a brand of its own. Sarcastic, satirical and self-deprecating are just some of the words that come to mind when trying to describe it. British banter can sometimes be misconstrued as being rude. And the deadpan delivery makes it hard to tell whether a Brit is actually joking or being dead serious.
Understanding British humor is “like trying to spread cold butter on toast,” wrote the Times of India, “It’s a tricky endeavor that requires patience and, often, ends in unexpected messes”.
This is the point where you stick your cold feet in his a*s crack. Oh, and jellyroll the comfoters. Comfy little jellyroll, freezing, butt to the ceiling boyfriend!
Maisey - he just proclaimed eternal love to you, just it's got a bit lost in translation
It's baffling that some older people really don't get this. It's a simple matter of mathematics, yet some people think because they could buy a house back in the day, that it must be possible now.
They don't math well... sorry, would it be: They don't "maths" well?
Load More Replies...Let me introduce you the concept of investing and compound interest.
Yeah, it kinda is... Just depends on where you wanna live... I moved to buy... I know it was my choice... Managed my income and expectations.... Moved and bought a little house ... Now 7 years on, I'm almost paid half off... Now I have a really nice deposit IF I wanna move back...
Yup 👍. Here in the US this could even be enough to buy a house out right provided you moved to a low income state in the middle of nowhere with little to no amenities accessable with out a three hour drive. As a retirement plan it's not bad as far as I'm concerned but I currently I need a well paying job to survive.
Load More Replies...There was a really great graph on ABC news the other night showing wages rising and house prices and the difference from 1990 to now.
U.K. comedian Ricky Gervais recently wrote a column for Time, explaining the difference between American and British humor. He was Britishly blunt. “We tease our friends. We use sarcasm as a shield and a weapon. We avoid sincerity until it’s absolutely necessary,” he said. “We mercilessly take the p*ss out of people we like or dislike basically. And ourselves. This is very important. Our brashness and swagger is laden with equal portions of self-deprecation. This is our license to hand it out.”
I was just thinking that myself...us peasants can only do 2 at a time.
Load More Replies...Amazon and suchlike. I used to have one. They make awesome grilled cheese, elephant ears, other pastries, pizza pockets. Oh, now I'm hungry. I need to buy a new one.
Load More Replies...The old ones you could actually fit filling inside of them. Cheese corned beef onion beans you name it, actual deep filling.
When ya'll said toastie I always thought of a toaster...my whole life is a lie.
Whip up a basic sponge cake mix and put a bit in each dip. Fresh hot cakes in minutes.
How do the Scottish people manage with text to speech. Asking for a friend.
OMG I'm dying! LOL! Close to the same happened to me but I was on the phone with the wife... I'm like Hon, I'm on my way home, but I'm gonna stop by the sandwich shop and "look out you sonofabitch!!" Oof! I didn't mean to blurt that out! She cracked up. But yeah, text to speech and phone through hands free while driving. If you look at your phone around here for more than 2 seconds, you'll wind up in a pine tree or in a lake. Not good.
I thought I was crazy that I had had one in this flavor. Thanks.
Load More Replies...I hate that you can only really get those here around Christmas. I can't order them because it's tooo dang hot here that they won't deliver them.
Gervais has stirred up controversy a couple of times in his career. Just last year, thousands of people petitioned Netflix to remove a joke from his latest show “Armageddon”. He had offended them by poking fun at kids with cancer. Gervais took the complaints with a pinch of "I beg your pardon?"... And fobbed them off during an interview with BBC radio at the time. “Ignore them. They don’t count. They have no effect on me. They don’t count. They’re hecklers,” said Gervais.
Or you could have your head put on a pike and mounted over Traitor's Gate.
Love it...as good as the dead fish in the curtsin rods one, eh !
She cheated. What kind of abuse does this fall under? It's just petty revenge and not hurting anybody. I am not worried one bit about this when child molestors are walking around free!
Load More Replies...UK election in which the Tories were expected to (and did) get utterly spanked was on July 4th.
Load More Replies...ROFL. Is this posting going to be a gathering of Brits smirking and snarking at the Tories while the other nations look on in gentle surprise or indifference?
By some marmite jars and they're probably outlive the labour government too...
The gutter will be better than the sewer the Tories sank them in.
Load More Replies...If British humor has a tendency to fly over your head at times, you’re not alone. Justin Bieber made headlines in 2012 when he admitted he couldn’t understand a thing British comedian Alan Carr was saying to him. “I don't get all this humor,” said a baffled Bieber. “I don't know if you're making fun of me? I just don't get the British humor."
When Carr assured Bieber he was just "taking the mickey", the Canadian star was even more confused. "Mickey, what's mickey?" But a few years later, Bieber got it. And the Belieber went viral for taking the mickey out of the British accent on this talk show.
Do you not think that the guy with her in her profile pic might have something to say about that?
Load More Replies...Nothing wrong with saying someone is good looking. It is hardly as if you're being a perv, (considering it was said to their mother) more like, being appreciative and supportive.
Just by 'my mam' I can say with almost 100% certainty that Georgia is from the North-East of England (specifically England because NE Britain/UK is in Scotland).
The guy stood with her in her profile pic might disagree.
Load More Replies...Though wasn't someone I knew, got an order from McD's once where someone behind the counter had mayonnaise McBukakke'd the burger; and it was the firey woman next to me, seeing that I was upset but a ball of shy, who got the burger fixed.
U sure it was mayo or maybe they were just happy to see you?
Load More Replies...Don't British McDonald's use calibrated condiment dispensers? If so, the mayo was in the wrong squirter. Happened often at my store. Grill managers are supposed to ensure the proper dispensers are paired with sauces.
When it comes to understanding British banter, "half of Americans wouldn't be able to tell that a Briton is calling them an idiot". That’s according to U.K. polling company, YouGov. In 2019, they gave 1,700 Britons and 1,900 Americans a bunch of British phrases to see if they're on the same page. Or if Britain and America are indeed “two nations separated by a common language”.
It turns out British sarcasm and passive aggressiveness are lost on many Americans. When asked what "with the greatest respect" meant, nearly half of Americans interpreted it as "I am listening to you". While 68% of British people knew it to mean “you’re an idiot”.
Third or fourth time this week, I think. Even my vu's are starting to have déja's.
Load More Replies...I can't even imagine telling my parents I don't have money for alcohol so will they please buy me some. It's not food.
TV show featuring mainly foreigners bringing contraband, often dead animal parts, into the country. Also Australian version and US versions but names differ.
Love the Australian version. Particularly when the Chinese person suddenly loses the ability to speak English when confronted with suitcase full of rhino dongs 😅
Load More Replies...They dont know what food is. Even in their own language they are unsure. I love coming back to Sydney. Air China flight lands and every single passenger except me and my wife are sent to the red line. Full bag checks. Border Security show films those flights. . On the flight they stuff bags of meat and fish into backpacks they think hide it. I dont know why we dont just send them back.
Australia… the flight to Australia gave the customers apples 🍎 not allowed in Australia so those who put it in their hand luggage all got fined $200 aid dollars. Whoops!
They asked for it. Apples are supposed to be eaten.
Load More Replies...We have the same thing here. Show is called Border Security. They use "Would I Lie to You" by The Eurythmics as the theme song. Brilliant!
It is always the same thing. The customs agent confirms with them they have no food. Customs agent finds food. Agent asks if they more, and they say no. Eventually, there's about 20 kg of food. Now, they are fined, but don't have any monet, until they do. Same thing each time, and I continue to watch it. One of the Aussie networks has a Pluto channel that replays it 24/7.
True. Saves on the lecky bill. And possibly mocking as most people use 'washing' not laundry.
Odd moment in adulthood when you are at work and it's a lovely day and instead of thinking I could be out right now with my mates enjoying the sun - but you think, I could get 2 loads dry in this.
Odd moment in your childhood when you notice that laundry is your parents.
Load More Replies...Unless you have severe allergies. Definitely don't want pollen covered clothing.
I put a set of sheets on the line on a really hot day a few weeks ago, and by the time the next load was ready to put out, the sheets were dry. Score!
In summer here, new england Nsw, Aus, 1 hour will dry your clothes. Chuck out the doonas and heavy blankets, soft toys, they will be dry and fresh for the cupboard. Mind you, you do use those until summer because our houses are made to be as cold as a fridge year round. Seriously, my breath is foggy right now in my living room.
Tomorrow is supposed to be very warm and dry across the UK, so go nuts with the washing!
Load More Replies...My mam was furious when she had to take my husband to the hospital for his almost ruptured appendix op. I had just had our eldest lad and was stuck at home. She said he had nowt wrong and it was the waste of a good drying day. It was the same day as Hillsborough which meant he thought he was hallicinating post op when he turned on the radio. Eery year we remember that day...
Some might also find their tummies grumbling if a Briton ever told them “you must come for dinner”. Most Americans took it as a sincere summons to supper and would be looking forward to the details. But 57% of Brits polled said they’re merely being polite, and it’s not an actual invitation. Best you order in, mate.
How is no one else commenting on how tf someone got a padlock through that hole and locked it without him making a move?
Those are pretty heavy, also, dont touch people without permission :/ coz if he mad, youre charged. I might be tempted with a sheep ear tag just the same :p
Just don't get caught. I find the idea of drive-by padlocking rather hilarious.
Load More Replies...That looks like a pretty generic lock, he should be able to go to a locksmith and get it sorted out pretty easily.
He can watch the YouTube guy who breaks into locks to figure out how to remove it without a key. Unless he did it to himself when black out drunk
But I bet it would be rather difficult to do, when you cannot see the lock.
Load More Replies...Just found this......https://www.facebook.com/uniladsound/videos/average-uk-pub/694696120874033/
There’s a researcher called Xuemei Chen who actually studied whether Americans appreciate British humor. They gathered 128 British and 95 American level one (basic) English speakers. The participants were shown two short snippets from two British television series. They were then asked to rate the funniest one and share their thoughts.
The study found that “American English L1 users perceived British humor as less funny and were less able to ‘get’ the ironic and sarcastic aspect of British humor than British English L1 users.” Basically, the Brits burst out laughing. The Americans were not amused.
Just be a normal person then and get yourself a chair to place them on!
And then rewashing them because I can't deal with sorting, folding, bending, hanging
I no longer throw my clothes in a pile on the floor since the cat threw up on them twice.
Yep. If there's one thing the pandemic taught us, it was how much money you could save by getting pissed at home! £4.50 for a pint of lemonade as a non alcoholic example of prices. No. Just no. I can get a supermarket bottle of wine for £7.
And some genius at the cricket makes a snake. Does Richard Branson fund that?
You are correct here, and the original patent agrees https://patents.google.com/patent/US465588A/en
Load More Replies...Unless Cat. Cat would more likely roll up the tp than unroll it. -guy that had cats for 30 years.
Load More Replies...I've been married to one of your kind for many years. You're wrong an you know it. Toilet paper should not go that way. However, please hear me on this one. If that's all you have to fight about in your relationship, you will have a wonderful life with one of those (100% correct) Tinder suitors.
But that IS the correct way if she has a cat. A cat can't unroll it that way.
Much has been written about Americans and British getting lost in transatlantic translation. Some accounts are more hilarious than others. Bored Panda found this gem on BBC that we thought we’d share:
“A commenter named Brian D on Ben Yagoda’s blog, Not One-Off Britishisms, told the story of a group of British engineers from his company, sent to work at Wang Labs in Massachusetts. They were asked to attend a meeting to recognize an employee for outstanding achievement: It was announced from the stage that this person was a King in the company and so would be presented with the Wang King award. The entire British contingent had to leave the room in hysterics.”
Somewhat amused and somewhat astonished that cow milk gets "t" and not "c."
Then coconuT defaults to T and someone(s) with a milk allergy or lactose intolerance is in for a bad day!
Load More Replies...Apparently you can get poisoned by other people's tit milk cos of antibodies. Would explain all the little f*****g gremlins out there....
Reminds me of the time I whooped my now husband's backside playing Mortal Combat. I had never played it before, didn't know what buttons did what or the stats of the characters were. He was thoroughly well and truly thrashed lol. Knowing then what I know now, I would have done a victory lap round the living room lol.
Whats up with the people finding this hard to believe? Lol. Totally believeable, some people just suck at games, and im probably one of them as i only ever play on medium difficulty.
Made my ex teach me how to play Tiger Woods golf on the original Xbox so I could actually spend time with him back in the day. Turns out I was badass at the game. Turns out he was a sore loser. Turns out we divorced 6 months later. 🤣
Lol. Not a match with this one then. .... which is ironic, as you won the match. *I'll get me coat*
Alright, calm down Jonathan Frakes, it could have happened. People get very salty about FIFA
Load More Replies...Truth. Add people who don’t fill their Yorkshire puddings with gravy to that list.
hmm I wonder if our "friends across the pond" know the correct sauces for various cuts. Mint: lamb. Cranberry: Turkey. (They invented that one). Ham: Apple sauce. Beef: Horseradish or Mustard.
Nah man, if I've spent $80 on a prime rib, then hours prepping and cooking i5 to perfection, then no sauce will be used on it. My daughter puts ketchup on my christmas prime rib, and I let her; but it makes me die a little inside every time.
So what do you do with all the amazing flavorful juices and pan bits if they're not being scraped up to make gravy? Please don't tell me that you're just chucking away all those great flavors.
Load More Replies...I see the non-Brits in the comments here being a bit confused, so let me clarify: roast means a roast dinner, the whole thing, not just the meat. And gravy is a specific sauce generally made with the juices of the meat and/or stock.
Also, my wife used to hate gravy on her food, but it turns out that the way her parents made gravy is basically brown water with no flavour. When she discovered my Nan's version of real gravy she fell in love with it.
Load More Replies...My gravy should only be used in hand to hand combat. Consider yourself lucky.
The British take their humor seriously. Even with a straight face. If you struggle to understand their dry wit, we have some good news for you. A group of scientists recently developed a device that detects when someone is being sarcastic. And it might be just what’s needed to bridge the barrier so that we can all laugh around the pond together.
What boggles your mind the most about British humor? Have you ever been the butt of a British joke? Let us know all about it in the comments.
And when she used to squeeze your toes to see if there was enough room for growth.
I remember those machines with a dip you put your foot into, and blocks would move in from all sides to measure your foot.
Better than the days when they had unshielded x-ray machines in the shoe shops.
Load More Replies...Yeah, I remember! And they always felt awful! It's why I have always **DETESTED** shoes! (Mind you, I DO have VERY big feet (11 1/2, at time of writing (I'm 78)) and every shoe shop we went into the salesgirls would look at my feet in consternation: "I'm sorry Madam, we don't have any children's shoes to fit your daughter!" - Oh, the shame of it all - I'd come home in tears! (rolls eyes!))
Clark's school shoes measured on that cool machine including width measurements 🤓
I kiss getting measured. Here I am as a grown adult, I buy shoes but I am not entirely sure what my size is
Most have online measurement charts where you can check for sizing, I always do this to check. Eg my foot length is 22cm and sometimes im a 35.5 sometimes 36 depending on make and model
Load More Replies...The assistant in the shop would press the end of the shoe to show my Mum there was space beyond my toes, that was the 'growing room'.
The vet would give me banana flavor amoxicillin for my cat's sinus infection. Why make the cat amoxicillin banana flavor?! Salmon oil flavor would be better!
Yes! But I think it was maybe only available for a brief period in the 90s. My husband is 7 years older than me and he swears he had cherry flavour.
I love that Americans & Brits had different colored and flavored amoxicillin growing up. For some reason that may be my favorite difference between our countries, yet.
Well, no professional pride there. if doctors acted like that... needs to grow up. Just do your job anyway and stop being so emotionally driven :p clearly shes still got power over that guy, cant make peace and move on with his life enough to just do the job properly regardless of whose house.... going out of his way here to be petty for ages....
One of my fondest memories from when we were vacationing in Austria: We were having dinner in a packed restaurant and minding our own business when suddenly the lights turned off. Two waiters carrying a dessert with fireworks approached a table and started to sing. They didn't get further than "happ.." before the sole woman at the table laughingly interrupted them saying (in German): No,no, she's in the toilet ". The waiters disappeared, the light switched back on and everyone in the restaurant was laughing. At that point the birthday woman returns, looking around oddly. As she rejoins her friend, the waiters and fireworks-dessert reappear and as they start to sing, everyone loudly joins in.
Oh I just sing right back at them. Usually someone else's national anthem. Standing up.
I quit going out on my birthday with my parents because they wouldn't stop doing this.
I'm sure I looked more disgruntled than this guy whenever that happened to me. (Digression - Why is one who's annoyed "disgruntled", but one who is pleased is never described as "gruntled"? If anyone has a good explanation, I'd be gruntled to read it.)
@Lotekguy, thanks for helping me learn something new today! I don't know why the word fell out of favor, but it actually is a word. Source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gruntled#:~:text=grun%C2%B7%E2%80%8Btled%20%CB%88gr%C9%99n%2Dt%E1%B5%8Ald,formers%20packed%20up%20and%20left.
Load More Replies...Went out to dinner with my family yesterday for my daughter's 24th birthday. We saw other people getting the birthday treatment (song, dessert) from the waiters. I asked my daughter if she wanted that, too. She definitely did not. LOL
I share a birthday with 3 immediate family members, so we save the embarrassment, until we arrive back home, for second class singing, and cake.
I'm currently in 3 group chats with people I do not know. I feel bad about missing two shifts at the bar, not putting money in for Aunt Chris' birthday present, and I may have started a war over Blair's wedding dress (sorry not sorry, it's hideous and you all know it).
My birthday is coming up. I'm going to be 11, because 5 and 6 are NOT 56. They are 11.
I can't believe that I'M turning whatever age is next. So old I forgot. Well, at least I"m still here
Sorry, you could've chosen a different check out lane. This is plain meanness.
How do you know there was another check out lane open? Our Aldi's rarely has more than one.
Load More Replies...I saw this a few months earlier, snd it was written by a girl who was pissed about this
I have read this before, also, but I find it funny every time. Too bad she hadn't sanitary products to hide, too.
Load More Replies...So just because you only have 2 items you should be allowed to cut in line? Sounds like an entitled c**t to me.
In most of the places I've lived, it has been a common courtesy extended amongst the population, reserved for when the disparity is significant, e.g. two items vs 100 items. Have you not noticed this when you've gone shopping?
Load More Replies...This is one of the things that does cause hassle for supermarkets. People not realising that frozen or chilled food cannot be replaced back in the freezer/fridge if its been left out on an open shelf elsewhere. It has to be thrown away which causes prices to go up as its a company and they have to recoup the cost somehow. I have seen people defending doing this by saying - "It's only one packet of burgers!"... Yes, one packet to you but say 20 people do the same thing? The cost adds up. A £4 (for example) packet of burgers times by 20 is £80. If the same happens every day for a week? That's £560.
Instead of wasting the food as others pointed out, you could have added a few more items to the checkout. Wonder what she would do with anchovies, pig trotters, and kohlrabi?
Because she was a wizard who could make all this stuff appear out of nowhere while standing in the checkout line. 🙄
Load More Replies...I didnt even saw that yet, bloody hell that's even more awful than the shovel
Load More Replies...So unhygienic. How do they thoroughly clean it between customers
English is alright, but right now I'm lying in in bed thinking about the full Scottish I had on my honeymoon. Had haggis and blood sausage as well as most of the bits in a full English. I felt fortified. Now I gotta get up and eat cereal.
Ugh. Don't serve commercial food on things that cannot be fully sanitized. Also, it's not safe to serve acidic food in galvanized containers (tomato content of baked beans).
That's not that different from us germans though, any other place where that's quite common?
My manager. A pound of tuna and a pound of broccoli every day. Not only had the stink of microwaved fish and broccoli, but would often not finish it and leave the remains in the bin - which wouldn't be emptied until the next morning. Sometimes when coming into the office early, the smell would literally make my eyes water.
Ugh! We once had an employee do that while we were setting up for an office baby shower. We had a lovely party with the miasma of fish, broccoli, and cheap office air freshener hanging in the breakroom.
Load More Replies...The most selfish people ever to exist do not appear in workplaces - they merely own them.
Try people who cook liver in the work microwave! Yes, Melvin...I remember!
Nah. Their food is their food. You can survive a smell you don't like for a few minutes. You'll live.
Had someone in a 6x12 building that would boil eggs in the microwave. That makes me nauseous.
When my wife hangs out the washing she puts her underwear in the middle so the neighbors don't see it. When I hang it out I put it on the outside so they can see how sexy it is.
I decide what goes where by the length of the item, not the weight or value. Is that incorrect?
The first consideration is length, the second is volume, the third is thickness
Load More Replies...As a young man at my first job, one of the drivers used to put his meat pie in foil, under the bonnet/hood of his van. Would come back a couple of hours later and it was just perfect. Lord knows how long it took him to get timings and position just right.
As an American, this sounds like it's going very badly. "As a young man at my first job, one of the drivers used to put his meat pie in foil under the bonnet." Nope. I don't know what it's an innuendo for. It's just those words are so rare in American dialect, there must be an indecent meaning to them.
Load More Replies...If the radiator is on, this makes sense because it isn't using any extra energy to heat the sausage roll this way. Secondly pastry can go soggy in the microwave.
I had a conversation once with a stranger about how they put raw fish and herbs in foil and put it on their motor to cook it while driving somewhere...
Maybe shes mad at you for being hungover on cleaning day and not helping
Clean the house top to bottom before you go out drinking, then you won't have to do it hungover
It can be house cleaning day any day you decide to do it. 🙂
£20? For CHIPS? Even in London, no! And you NEVER have pepper in a chippy! I reckon this is a scam.....
Salt and pepper chips come from the Chinese, not the chippy. They're made with salt, garlic, and usually chilli rather than black pepper.
Load More Replies...I don't believe it's Taylor Swift messaging 'Hey it's Taylor swift', just like I only use my full name to people I've only met once or twice before.
Actually, a poor guy in Italy committed suicide a couple of months ago because he had finally understood that the person who claimed to be in love with him and had borrowed 5000 euros from him was not the real Dua Lipa. He kept saying his friends that she was his fiancèe and soon would meet him.
If it was really her she would not need to borrow anything. Her fans would give her anything!
More and more online retailers are starting to charge for returns. I only buy what I need and if I have to pay a delivery charge, it's fine. If I didn't want to pay it, I would get off my lazy ãrse and go to the shop.
Load More Replies...When they refund the item, they subtract the cost of the original shipping of the kept items...
I just spent an hour looking for something I could possibly want to get free overnight delivery. So now I have two packs of ducky sponges coming. Merry White Elephant.
I always use the free delivery option when I order from Amazon. If it takes 3 to 5 days, it will probably beat me there.
I got an "undeliverable" notice, reordered the same. Takes 21 days. Back and fro from China?
Whoa, all the people getting angry! Stop defending corporates for charging you unnecessary stuff - start siding with the customers 💪 Those shipping costs are miniscule in the scale of corporate profits! And the bigger the store, the smaller the negotiated fee that delivery companies charge them. Demand free returns (and delivery, in fact) because you already pay them s*hitloads for the items and they are NOT going bankrupt for covering this tiny fees. (Yes, I know of existence of small, local stores - but those usually have a lot higher thresholds for free delivery/return precisely BECAUSE that would cover the postage fee!)
Something about your taste buds changes as you age, so foods taste different, and you can eat liver without gagging (or is this BS?)
True. When you're a kid you've got about three times as many taste buds as your nan.
Load More Replies...Always liked broccoli and veggies - cauliflower still tastes way too bitter though, no matter how it's cooked
just wait until you learn about Brussels sprouts! I a wok with potatoes, garlic onions bell peppers, much chilly and plenty of bacon
That's a lot of work to hide the taste of the sprouts 😂😂
Load More Replies...My Mother often used to do broccoli with dinner. When I met my then husband, he'd never eaten it until he came to us. Then we married and he always cooked it in the microwave, and (to my taste) it wasn't quite done. But I don't have to worry anymore. (Sorry for random story.)
broccoli wasn’t invented in Denmark 70 years ago when I was a toddler, I first got to know it as a grown-up and I liked it from the very start!
When I was 8 I just.. decided i loved it. my sisters are still getting there tho 😁
My boss obliged me to take my annual paid leave, so that he could close the office and go to vacation too
It is important to always remember that the organisation will continue to exist in your absence. It will not burst into flame. It will not collapse with your position as the epicentre.
You say that, but I'm the only one who can do my job, and we haven't even been able to hire anyone with the required skills to join me. Not only that, but even someone with the required skills would take months to get up to speed on our specific circumstances. Plus what I do brings in 70% of our revenue... I really ought to be paid more.
Load More Replies...I work for a University where you can only carry over so much to force you to use it. And then they only give you a few holidays so unless you want to hang out with these people for all 52 weeks you better plan a something somewhere.
I know people in Aus who have years worth of holidays. If they took it that company would be in the mud :p so i kind of get a boss wanting you to take it. But force it? Book it for you? That just is so wrong to me
'Driving' is a pre-set response on many SMS systems. It's a single press and let's the other person know that you're not ignoring them, you can't can't reply at the moment.
Clearly not British. "Dad cell" is a dead giveaway, and no Brit in their right mind calls their dad 'pop'. Swinging a bat isn't very British either, unless you're talking about a cricket bat
He probably did. 'Driving' is a preset response that you send with a single press, letting the other person know that you have seen the message but can't respond straight away.
Load More Replies...Food is fine. It's the coven of pramface teenage girls, the fat old racist in the Union Jack wifebeater and the broccoli heads in puffa jackets that put me off. Truly the most wretched hive of scum and villainy in the Galaxy....
Because I know there will be non Brits here, Spoons is WhetherSpoons
No it's not, don't lie. It's a shop that sells only one type of cutlery, and gives you free food so you can sample the feel of the spoon in your mouth.
Load More Replies...Such a shame they're owned by the odious, brexit-loving, "I can't hire enough foreign workers now", wanker that is Tim Martin.
They do a great breakfast too, with unlimited coffee refills. Don't be a snob give it a go.
I'm not a snob, I just refuse to give that tosspot owner my hard earned money!
Load More Replies...fair. our localish one has one of my favourite local ciders on tap (actually several, but there's one I particularly like, which isn't that common to find in pubs or supermarkets) and I agree. their pizzas ARE good, and if I have a steak, they tend to actually cook it rare for me, whearas so many places overcook it. it's not perfect every time, but it's mostly in the right area. also, it used to be a posh hotel, so the building itself is actually really quite nice inside. and the staff are really lovely, and hard working, but always cheerful and friendly. they can vary, but our "local" is a nice place to finish a days shopping, much as the owner is a tit
Yep, and Romans, and early Mediaeval, and 18th century military, and WWII. We had not very difficult access to farm museums, Roman ruins, castles, artillery castle forts, 18th/19th century land forts, and a naval dockyard within 10 miles (though I think the furthest of these was just shy of 7 miles away). ed: reading through this again, yu really can tell that the area I grew up in was a major historical military area, I think some parts of these places are still owned by the MoD.
Never been as jealous of anyone in my entire life.
Load More Replies...That actually sounds kind of good? We (in US) went to a battlefield from our Civil War, and they made us draw names of real soldiers from history, and as we walked across the battlefield they told us where our guy died. (Pretending to take a minne ball to the chest and/or acting out dramatic death scenes was not permitted.)
as a kid in early 2000s Aus we went to some farm and learnt how they did stuff before modern amenities but there wasn't any dressing up about it 😭
When my nan visited us in Canada, we took her to a Black Creek Pioneer Village in Toronto. She couldn't understand the fuss and said that was how they did things when she was growing up. Also, she said the actors were doing their tasks wrong and started to tell them how to do things correctly. She grew up in Somerset.
i remember when we had victorian day in primary, all the other girls dressed in fancy maid dresses and i swiped black eyeshadow on my face, put grubby comfy clothes and a cap on and went around as a chimney sweep. i think this was the first indicator of my transness
American here. We did a trip where we spent a day in a one room school house, and learned about one room school houses.
Used to love shopping at Christmas when they were open 24/7 and doing it at 3am when it was quiet and so avoiding the horror of daytime Christmas shoppers..
Would be awesome if other shops did this. I really hate going round the city centre when there's hoards of ppl about....
Load More Replies...Target here in the US with extra time spent in electronics (or a separate stop at Best Buy).
Change the store name to a 24-hr "Shoppers D**g Mart", or even a 7-11, & I hear ya loud & clear, my good man. (Again, me 🇨🇦)
What about fried bread, a British delicacy. It's served in a full English and is bread fried in the bacon fat from cooking your bacon. Heavenly. After you've had it once you'll never go back to toast
I use it cut up tiny and kept aside for fried rice. Rindless bacon costs more. May as well use it and save the dollars
*steals all the fatty bits and makes for the sofa*
Excuse me old boy I think you’ll find it is the best bit but has to be nice and crispy of course good old white bread lots of butter.. actually I believe I have two slices of bacon left in the fridge. Toodles.
This proves that GB isn't just another country, it's a parallel universe. I don't get half of these posts.
I'm born and bred Deep South USA and I understood most of them. But I was accused of having a Brit accent more than once, so....
Load More Replies...I thought there was a lamp coming out of his head and got really disturbed for a few moments.
I am jealous about the hair. My hair doesnt look like that with kids, i brush their hair and run out of time for anything but a quick comb for mine Also... ♡ he has a kind face combined with my gosh, muscles ♡
apparently, he is one hell of a good guy...look up what he has done for Make a Wish children, sadly kids with a terminal illness and he has hlped hundreds! John Cena...mr. nice guy.
Load More Replies...Another happy day in Paradise Just living the dream Another day another dollar
You call some place paradise... Kiss it goodbye... ~*Henley, Frey*~
Load More Replies...Our local KFC used to routinely run out of cooked chicken. "There's a 15 minute wait on the chicken, is that OK?" No it's not OK. You're a FECKING CHICKEN SHOP. It's literally the only thing you sell, so I expect you to predict the amount of chicken you might need AT LUNCHTIME a little bit better. I'm looking at you, Chris the Idiot.
Yes. Four hours later: room still only one-quarter tied up. That is some seriously awesome headgear BTW - perhaps even "brilliant"!
The only acceptable answers to this question are; 1. Yeah, not bad, ta! 2. Could be worse. 3. Yeah, you? 4. Aye.
Nah, you just say "alright" back in the same tone of voice.
Load More Replies...It means that you say "Yes, you?" They say yes, and you either walk away or ask about the weather
Load More Replies...It means that you say "Yes, you?" They say yes, and you either walk away or ask about the weather
Load More Replies...I am just cracking up reading people asking what it means and people replying NOT what it means but with the expected answer. Y'all from across the drink, they are asking "How are you? " NOT in the sense that they want to know if you are ok - and the replies that are listed here are the expected answers. It is a "how do you do" type of greeting.
I sincerely hope to never clap eyes on anyone from my school ever again.
I used to have three people I knew from high school on my Facebook. Now it is 2 because my sister unfriended me. That's ok.
I apply patience in my home town when people barely make it walking across the street. Could be my old school mate.
"You're not my mother!" "Yes, I AM!" Could have been worse, could have been Pat Butcher....
I love that scene. That and dirty Den giving Ang the divorce papers at Christmas.
Load More Replies...unfortunatelly this will only get you arrested for theft or fraud. tesco reduced labels are item specific because thats how the ordering system works. if 150 reduced items are sold, they still want to know what the item was so they can get more
Yeah, the bar code will bring up on the till what the item is. I'm presuming it's a joke, but not a particularly funny one.
Load More Replies...I don't put it in the bin, I give it to my partner, who appreciates the free glace cherry knowing that I can't stand the texture. In exchange, I get their unwanted gherkins. It's a win/win!
How have they ended up with unwanted gherkins on their cherry tart?
Load More Replies...No, you bite it out, you absolute chimney pot. I bought a box of them the other day because they're the best bit
With all due respect, you, my friend, are an utter muppet! A complete and utter Greggs Vegan Sausage Roll.
Load More Replies...put the whole thing in the bin! Almonds are the devils foot shavings... and coconut are his toenails
Oh dear, downvotes from the humour impaired who don't recognise a film quote
Load More Replies...Can't go anywhere without some jack a*s taking pics of you and uploading then to their pathetic social media
Dominos where I am is £49.99 minimum order. They can go f**k themselves, they are 15 minutes away, tops.
I spent $22 for a Little Cesar's pepperoni pizza ("hot & ready") and a couple of chicken wings a couple of weeks ago. It was then I remembered that was the reason I haven't gone there since 2018. Robbery.
Load More Replies...A genre of porn is shot in the back of a black cab. They drive the cab aroubd while they bang and film it. Also, don't buy a black leather couch.
Load More Replies...I am confused here , CBeebies is a children's channel that got dumped in with adult channels for a bit, from what I can gather- but what is this, a screw- up where parents turned on what they thought is a children's channel and they got porn? Can someone explain in more detail? And IF this is a porn channel, how come it identifies as CBeebies? Thanks-
Well they saw they screenshotted their dinner, so they thought it was to make fun of it. Which is a fair assumption when you have steak and halloumi fries
Load More Replies...The person who posted it is probably from England, especially since they said ya. Also it does make sense. When people say, "Oh, I don't know what to have" if they had actually chosen, they'd have flown them to mexico
Load More Replies...Over 11 hours to fly UK-Mexico. She must have been starving by the time you got there. Deliveroo is much easier mate.
If I said pizza, Husband would just go to the freezer and get out a frozen one...
It's in New Mexico. They are trying to show off. She even has a remote for his...
Meh. At least 90% of these aren't specifically British "humour", and the ones that are aren't particularly funny, or maybe Yuki batted my sense of humour off my desk today?
Location in the UK or UK citizenship alone does not make British humour. Just my humble opinion.
In the UK, if you visit another town, the accent and humour is completely different within 2 km.
Load More Replies...They do the Brits alot, not seen a french one or German one... Ok maybe not German but you get my point...
I get your point. I'm British and I can see there is a lot about the UK that people in U.S. find funny. No-one mentioned how hilarious it is that our washing machines are usually in the kitchen, though. It's very convenient to throw things in the machine while keeping an eye on the dinner cooking, or waiting for the kettle to boil for my cup of tea!
Load More Replies...Meh. At least 90% of these aren't specifically British "humour", and the ones that are aren't particularly funny, or maybe Yuki batted my sense of humour off my desk today?
Location in the UK or UK citizenship alone does not make British humour. Just my humble opinion.
In the UK, if you visit another town, the accent and humour is completely different within 2 km.
Load More Replies...They do the Brits alot, not seen a french one or German one... Ok maybe not German but you get my point...
I get your point. I'm British and I can see there is a lot about the UK that people in U.S. find funny. No-one mentioned how hilarious it is that our washing machines are usually in the kitchen, though. It's very convenient to throw things in the machine while keeping an eye on the dinner cooking, or waiting for the kettle to boil for my cup of tea!
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