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30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings In college a couple friends (both f) noticed I (m) was having a bad week and insisted I tell them what was going on.

After 15 minutes of me ranting about my grades, professors, my job, my family, I was starting to feel better getting it all off my chest. But then one of them, making no attempt to hide it, leans to the other and says “damn I wish we never asked” and they both start laughing with each other about how much they didn’t want to be there listening to me.

Now whenever people ask how I’m doing I just say I’m fine or I’m tired to save the time and energy.

stressedRAPHAEL Report

Final score:

232points

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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago

Thats low. Dont ask unless u genuinely want to know. And dont diss other ppl when they open up:bring down ur wall is hard, and if it has to go back up it's fortified now

196points

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I don’t like opening up to anyone even today, after two years of anti depressants and six months of therapy. I can’t open up to my mom because she would end up using it against me, maybe immediately, maybe later. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. She’s been through a great deal and tried her level best to not let that [stuff] reach us ( my brother and I),but to err is human. My dad is what your typical Indian dad is, a stoic guy, not expressing himself( kind of like the meme of that dog sitting in a room on fire). Add to that his emotionally distant parents and him joining the army at 17 to become an officer and you have this absolutely thick exterior that doesn’t let anything through. I work as a doctor in Delhi. Everyone around is dying. Bright eyed juniors I knew, people I said goodbye to not knowing it would be the last opportunity I’d get, patients and their hapless families, grieving mothers/ fathers/ wives/ husbands/ parents/ children. None of them deserved it and I feel that somehow I’m to blame. I can’t just man up every time. Sorry I started this diatribe. Had to get it out somewhere.

trastmaanus , Mulyadi Report

Final score:

218points

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K Witmer 3 years ago

So so so sorry. I feel so awful for you. I hope you heal from this and find a person you trust enough to confide in soon.

73points

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings In my family I - as the father - am the rock and immovable point where everything hinges on. The stoic calm eye of the storm.

I once started to open up to my wife about what worries me and she almost had a nervous breakdown and I ended up consoling her for an hour. And it was some of the rather tame [stuff] I deal with all the time.

I stopped opening up about my worries towards her after that. I have a friend or two I can share heavy stuff with, but not with my partner. I tell her about stuff once it is solved.

"You should open up to me more!"

No.

Example of something current? The smell of desinfectant triggers painful memories of the death of my first daughter (NICU, 27 days old). Luckily you can't see my face under the mask in public, where there is a desinfectant station at every shop. I barely flinch at the pain anymore.

"You look grumpy today?"

"Grocery shopping was... exhausting. Everything is fine."

Horst665 , Polycart Report

Final score:

191points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

How heartbreaking for 2 reasons. One for not being able to open up to your wife and two for the loss of your daughter.

147points

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Told my dad I was on brain meds for anxiety.

“Mental weakling” were the words I believe.

auxilary , mhouge Report

Final score:

190points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

No wonder men's suicide rates are so high when men get reactions like this. Things need to change.

165points

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I went to therapy and my therapist advised me to let down my guard to my girlfriend. She lost all attraction to me, shared my issues with her whole friend group for “her support”, and then broke up with me. Life will teach you lessons the hard way whenever possible.

BreakerMark78 , Nik Shuliahin Report

Final score:

174points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Wow, that's pretty low.

79points

Wooshmeister55 , Mike Boening Photography Report

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I opened up to my mother twice about how I feel about my life and she is still using it against me 5 years later. I’ll never forgive her for that

Final score:

152points

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Sarcastic Cow 3 years ago

One of the biggest fears - tell something painful about yourself and they will use it against you.

71points

denzoren 3 years ago

That is literally one of my biggest fears.

3points

Deb Dedon 3 years ago

Someone using your pain against you is a sign that they are abusive. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to remove abusers from your life, but the effort is worth it.

1point

readingthequibbler 3 years ago

It happens too often. I literally left school because of this for online about three years ago (2018) because I told someone I thought was a friend and when I didn't do something, they told the whole school.

1point

Debbie Chapman 3 years ago

I am a female. You guys are not the only ones with this problem. I learned early on to never open up to my mother about anything. She would use it against me especially if it was about how someone was mean to me. She would tell me that I deserved it and use against forever. Abusive parents are abusive parents regardless of your sex.

5points

Billy The Kid 3 years ago

That is sad. When you confide in someone you have known all your life you would expect support not throwing it up in your face.

4points

Bobert Robertson 3 years ago (edited)

When I was younger I got arrested. It was something stupid, and didn't end up on my record. In theory I could have never told anyone (I was alone when I was caught), but I had to get the weight of the secret off my back. I finally told my parents and felt instant relief getting it out. For about a month....then I found out they told all their friends and the rest of our family. It took everything to finally share, and I expected it to be kept between the 3 of us.

2points

Billy The Kid 3 years ago

It goes to show that not everyone can be trusted. These are what i call gossipers. I have a saying" If people gossip to you then they sure will gossip about you"

1point

Gwen Parker 3 years ago

I'm not male but I opened up to my dad about my cousin molesting me and he used this against me later in my life. ANY PARENT doing this to a child is a piece of S**T. I'm sorry your mother is such a callous, horrid excuse for a human being. You deserve so much better.

2points

Raine Soo 3 years ago

That is one of the reasons I never confided in my mother. She already nagged me to death. I certainly didn't want to give her more ammunition to use against me. And, she always wondered why I never told her anything.

2points

Suzanne Haigh 3 years ago

My mother would give a huh? and have no idea I had tried to talk to her, some mothers just should not be mothers.

1point

Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago

Then they blast social media with "why my son doesn't visit meeeee?" yeah right.

1point

Deb Dedon 3 years ago

I'm seeing so much of this narcissistic behavior in these posts. Your mother is emotionally abusive. Please research abusive behavior - the net holds a lot of information if you know where to look. Start with 'narcissism' and go from there.

0points

Fieke Engelen 3 years ago

One thing in our lives, we cannot choose, is our mother, Get a bad one and you're stuck with it. I know!

0points

WhatEvenIsLife 3 years ago

I don't open up to my family anymore about anything, period. Learned that lesson many times over and have now taken it to heart. Fortunately, I have a very supportive and emotionally intelligent partner. He's actually helped me over the years become more open with him about my emotions and what's going on with me. It took some time.

0points

Luuta 3 years ago

I finally forgave my parents when my father was on his deathbed and my mother was in a nursing home, suffering from Alzheimer's and could no longer remember me. I can never forget what they did, but they weren't the monsters they were when I was a child. Those monsters had gone. I hope you get a similar closure one day.

0points

Patzpie 3 years ago

Why would a mother try to destroy her son? She doesn’t deserve to be a mother....

0points

HammerzToe 3 years ago

That's sad. But I totally understand where you are coming from. I've always felt that why should I tell someone how I feel, or whats going thru my mind, or talk about my faults and mistakes... It's just one more person out there who knows what a screw up I am. But I've had so many wonderful people in my life that changed my perspective on that. I've had some not so wonderful ones too. But you learn how to cope with that, you learn how to spot the toxic ones and how to not let them in. Life is so much better when you don't have to hold all your cards close to your chest.

0points

Gregg Bender 3 years ago

Sister did that. We haven't talked in ten years.

0points

Tame panda 3 years ago

By the way, what exactly means using someone's emotion against him/her. Please reply because I really don't understand it's meaning.

0points

Chaotic-Pansexual-Gemini 3 years ago

Same thing happened to me. I hope you find someone else you can trust

0points

Monica Klint 3 years ago

She doesnt know the main thing about being a parent…. Be supportive and love your kids…

0points

Rainy Day Wolf 3 years ago

Is she a narcissist? my mom is and does this to me... And I guess I'm just stup*d because after all these years I haven't learned to keep stuff to myself

0points

Angus Carnegie 3 years ago

what a low-life. your own mother using that sort of stuff against you, jeez!

0points

Karen Kenney 3 years ago

Obviously a narcissist

0points

Diana Jonkman 3 years ago (edited)

Same happens to me with my mom, she thinks that I should not be feeling down for any reason because I have a " great life and I have a beautiful family" so I should not be feeling sad for other things. She usually demeans my feelings. And as a person living in a foreign country I feel quite often lonely and seek comfort in my mother, but well, not get much from her in that aspect.

0points

El Dee 3 years ago

A mother in name only..

0points

Debbie Chapman 3 years ago

My poor son wouldn't tell me about how teachers, coaches, etc. were being mean to him because he knew I would do something about it. Then the abuser would make his life more unbearable than ever. Again I say, abusers are abusers. They look for anything to hurt other people. It's so sad.

0points

Bobby 3 years ago

Maybe I'm naïve, or blessed, but I can't wrap my head around how someone can use opening up to them against you

0points

Eemeli Saarelainen (Molter) 3 years ago (edited)

You just literally don't know, which is fine. I don't either as I've got amazing parents that would never do that. Well, only my mum since father passed away almost 10 years ago.

0points

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I opened up about my home situation in primary school to my teachers. it was about how my dad has a fuse the size of a microbe and can be verbally..abusive. my teacher told my parents what I told her. needless to say my dad was pissed and I didnt dare to talk about this stuff to “trust persons” till last year (16 years later)

Riganthor , Bart Everson Report

Final score:

140points

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Sarcastic Cow 3 years ago

What a teacher! :/

60points

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My mother passed when I was 15, cried my eyes out to my girlfriend at the time – she called me a little b**** and said she didn’t get why I was crying – behind my back to her group of friends, and my best friend, who told me. So I broke up with her, then she spread a bunch of rumors about me. Yep, Teenagers are [messed] up

Vakiand , StockSnap Report

Final score:

136points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Wtf, being a teenager is not an excuse to be heartless.

118points

IFinallyDidItMom , Cristian Ungureanu Report

#10

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings The one person I looked up to and wanted to be proud of me told me how worthless I was to him in a way that left no room for doubt.

Final score:

121points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

How devastating.

50points

#11

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My ex never reacted well to me opening up to her. I think it scared her or something. Getting a real, raw glimpse inside someone who is struggling with mental health issues can really freak people out, especially when they have this idea of who their partner should be or, how they want their life to be.

SirZachofThames , danielle_blue Report

Final score:

111points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

We need to stop picturing men to be these robotic, emotionless beings. They have emotions just like everyone else and deserve to be heard.

69points

#12

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My biological father is a [jerk], and a lot of my depression and self esteem issues stem from my relationship with him. I tried opening up to a college girlfriend about it, and she called me “Captain Daddy Issues” and laughed at me. I laughed it off at the time, but it seriously broke my heart and led to me shutting down emotionally until I met the women I wound up marrying.

Scungilli-Man69 , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

109points

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I'm lay sheep in China 3 years ago

Glad! He found someone who will understand him

71points

#13

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Grew up in the hood. Lost friends to violence or prison, lost people to drugs, saw some [stuff] that really [messed] me up.

Met a girl who told me I could tell her anything and she was always there if I needed to talk. One night it got to me and I opened up to her and you could just see all the attraction leave her face. She ended up distancing herself from me afterwards and we lost contact.

Learned a harsh but blunt truth that night. When women say they want you to open up, what they really mean is the romanticized version their favorite romance flicks show, not what it actually looks like to open up.

BigTiddyOrc , Polina Zimmerman Report

Final score:

106points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)

I'm sorry she did that. Just know not every woman is like that. If I tell someone that I am here for them and that they can open up to me, I mean it. Even if I find some situations awkward and don't know what to say, I will still be there to listen.

78points

#14

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My wife started sleeping with someone else. Lesson learned.

RAHL3 , Alex Green Report

Final score:

101points

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Alyssa Sweat 3 years ago

There is no excuse for something like this happening.

14points

#15

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My grandfather who was like my father died. Then for the next 3 weeks I was very sad and aloof. My girlfriend at the time just found another guy because I couldn't be fun.

blacksmy , Andrew Neel Report

Final score:

97points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

What a way to kick a man when he's down. I know it's not much consolation but at least you found out the kind of person she was before you committed a lifetime with her. You deserve better.

61points

#16

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings For me, it was when I needed her to be the strong one. Got super stressed out from first deployment, expressed that I needed a day or two of my own time to chill out from my gf at the time due to her insatiable desire to either be horny or problematic or how she would constantly express her horniness and then dump a really tough conversation on me (she was very back and forth about wanting kids, huge topic for me). Like she’d butter me up and then mention her mother wants us to date for 7 years before marriage and that’s the only way it could happen like wHAT. So. During the time I needed to clear my head, I didn’t do anything that’d hurt her I just went to work and focused on me and coping. Turns out, she lost interest in me pretty much immediately and then left me the two days later once I felt okay again because I wasn’t good enough. It’s cool, I was fine all alone out there and I learned that I am not dating a manipulative wreck who uses relationships to feel better about themself and uses me as a therapist. I’m a grown ass man and sometimes if I’m really stressed I need space away from the stress and not more crying or problems or complicated shenanigans.

No-Pilot-2870 , Pexels Report

Final score:

89points

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Billy The Kid 3 years ago

stress can be a big mental problem and the last thing anybody needs is having more added to it.

18points

#17

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I found out the person I wanted to be proud of me was just using me for their own personal gain. It was one of two people I fully let my guard down and man it stung.

ajl987 , Pexels Report

Final score:

82points

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Billy The Kid 3 years ago

Not nice when someone you look up to kicks you down just when you needed them.

24points

#18

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings A friend of mine told me I should open up more, and to share more with her. She promptly decided to drop all her problems on me, while also telling me to [sod] off when I had my own problems because “you should go deal with your problems yourself, I’m not your therapist”. She then used my issues to try and gaslight me into thinking I was insane. Nice gal, we ain’t friends anymore.134

T_JUS665 , Peggy_Marco Report

Final score:

72points

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Billy The Kid 3 years ago

Good for you. Who needs friends like that?

27points

#19

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My wife asked me what I said at counselling and I told her about my suicidal thoughts. She wondered aloud what else I hadn’t told her, and why I was keeping secrets, and does she really know me, and how can she trust me…

mcshaggy , Alex Green Report

Final score:

72points

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Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago

Yeah, because it is all about her

83points

#20

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings When I've opened up to women about my abusive childhood (because they ask me to "open up more"), they 9/10 times attempt to win gold in the "Victim Olympics". They compare traumas and somehow make it about them. Yet when they tell me about their struggles/traumas I always listen, show compassion, and validate them if applicable. I never compare.

My ex even got mad at me after I opened up. Not in the moment. It was about 3 weeks later. She said "I feel like I can't even open up to you anymore". When I asked why? she said "When I think about what you've been through, I feel like I can't complain about my situation". She was upset at me for this and wanted me to apologize for having "worse" (it's all subjective) trauma than her own.

I've found that many women want more for you to communicate how something made you feel. As opposed to hearing what actually happened. I've had the most success when I omit details and only discuss the feeling. For example "Childhood I felt helpless and alone but I'm good now". Rather than "When I was 11 my brother held a metal fork to the stove and branded me with it for fun".

Less details the better. Oh and for the record, you'll never out victim them.

Praws12 , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

69points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

Why do so many people have to make things into a competition. Especially about who is the biggest victim. I'm sorry but that is just f****d up. We all have our stories and we all deserve someone to hear us and I don't mean just listen but to actually acknowledge what they are saying and showing compassion.

50points

#21

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I got my ass beat for trying to talk to my mom about being abused. Then getting s**t on every time I’ve tried to relate to someone since. I don’t really want to live in a world like this but I guess I don’t have a choice.

Acerimmerr , StockSnap Report

Final score:

63points

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Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

You are worthy, you just haven't found the right people to have in your life, to listen, love and support you.

50points

#22

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Once, I told my friends about my high insecurities regarding my physical appearance and my “attractivness” (or lack of thereof in my case), and they laughed at me and made joke about it not being a “big deal” and implying that I was acting/thinking like a girl. I never shared anything more with those friends lol.

AgentJhon , Tim Dorr Report

Final score:

62points

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Everything AGR 3 years ago

this is terrible, no one should laugh at someones insecurities.

29points

#23

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings The number of times I’ve been told “Ah you’re like a girl” and ignored is pathetic.

garlic_bread_thief , StockSnap Report

Final score:

61points

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Sarcastic Cow 3 years ago

You´re like a girl - you have to be strong in a world full of a**holes. That´s true, innit?

37points

#24

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Opened up about how I felt about being dumped to a close friend that I was there for when they were in the same situation. My feelings and emotions were dismissed. The conversation left me feeling like an idiot for having these perfectly normal post break up feelings.

Gre3nBe3p , TanteTati Report

Final score:

47points

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Raine Soo 3 years ago

How quickly people forget things. So-called friends can be selfish. "I'm going through some heavy stuff. I need help. You have to listen to me." When it comes to you and your time of need: "Yeah, just get over it. It's no big deal."

16points

#25

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My ex GF,I was going through a rough patch slight depression. Told her I was looking to improve our relationship and understanding. She decided to break up with me.

Even if I was the rock, helped her earn some money, drove her everywhere. Helped her sister when she got beat up by exhusband (yeah awful). Helped her sister with the kids by finding them diapers and food. Helped the dad find oil and gasoline (my country for a moment there was none). And drove her to medical school when she couldn’t find transport. Paid for a trip to another country when our country was failing so we could be safer (later returned).

I said “you know i was not in a good place, i have not been my best for like 3 months. Ive supported you in everything, just give me a small chance”.

She responded “ don’t kill yourself, if you feel bad call your best friend”. “ you dont deserve this”.

Found out she cheated and the new boyfriend appeared a month later. Still hurts even after a year.

I’m still awestruck the way she did everything, a 3 year relationship meant that little.... but i have been better.

LordDeathScum , Daniel Oldfield Report

Final score:

46points

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Billy The Kid 3 years ago

Everything that you have done for her and her family you sound to me to be a good man. If this is how she treated you then you are better off without her. Her loss big time!

21points

#26

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings That was my experience with my first girlfriend. She was really pushy about knowing my deepest, most irrational feelings, but got insecure, defensive and hurt over them when I shared instead of being remotely supportive.

Poschta , Sammy-Williams Report

Final score:

43points

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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago (edited)

Tell me all about yourself, but leave out the details that I might find offensive, hurtful or too emotional for me to handle. [Sarcasm:Off]

9points

thebestbutterchicken , Tim Evanson Report

#27

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I tested the waters with my old college friends by telling them how sad I’ve been lately, but I was ignored.

It just hurt and made my feelings invalid. So, I pretended I was super chill, like I’ve always been doing and everything was ok again. Not really

Edit: This doesn’t sound so bad compared to everyone else, but I never share my feelings. I thought it might be a time where I can come out and try to share my emotions with people I thought would understand, but it wasn’t meant to be.

Final score:

43points

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Hilary Mol 3 years ago

I appreciate you sharing this with all of us. I'm sorry you felt ignored and rejected by the people who were supposed to be your friends.

18points

ThrowRA-4545 , Michael D Beckwith Report

#28

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Went through an ugly domestic violence experience and relationship breakdown. Restraining order. Divorce. Whole shebang.

Tried to reach out to my only family member. Was told "I don't have the emotional capacity to support you".

K. Thx. [screw] me right.

Final score:

43points

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H Edwards 3 years ago

In this case I have some sympathy for the family member. Not everyone is emotionally capable of giving the type of support that is needed. It's not necessarily personal, and probably better that they just tell them up front. I hope the guy managed to find support elsewhere.

41points

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#29

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I was honest with friends when I was younger and it just made me a target. If you show weakness you open yourself up to abuse. I think there's only 3 options really.

Therapy. Find an outside person with no social connection to you.

Work out to burn off those emotions.

Take ecstasy and overshare with people who are also on ecstasy. It's the only time in my life I've been able to do that and not be judged for it.

farlos75 , Polina Zimmerman Report

Final score:

40points

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Logic and Reason 3 years ago

Therapy- yes, if you can afford it. Exercise- totally! Ecstasy- Terrible idea. There are outlets to share your feelings without being on dangerous and illegal drugs.

11points

fourpanelwindows , Karolina Grabowska Report

#30

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Divorce

Final score:

32points

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Justin G 3 years ago

10points

#31

Like every other shield, you drop it you get stabed or shot. The only time you drop the shield is when the other person can't hurt you or you know really damn well that they won't.

I don't drop my shield.

MossTheGnome Report

Final score:

9points

POST

El Dee 3 years ago

This is how men become. The previous thirty-odd examples are WHY they become like this. Society messes people up, this is how men are messed up..

1point

#32

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings My ex was incredibly manipulative. As we were nearing the end of our relationship there were two distinct times that were the final nails in the coffin so to speak.

The first was when I was trying to salvage the marriage, I asked her to be more involved. Told her I didn't feel loved and that it felt like she had checked out. She didn't try with the kids, the house, sex or me. I said I wanted more. She told me if I didn't like it I should leave. How someone who supposedly loved me could say that to my face when I was trying to tell her I was unhappy was beyond me.

The second was. a few months later. I got tired of trying to hide things and emotionally broke down one day. Ugly crying and all. I told her I was unhappy and I wanted to leave. I didn't want to be in that relationship anymore. I told her basically all the things I had said before. She was a bit upset. But she said "I never thought you would leave, so I stopped trying" To this day that still echos through my head.

We got divorced a few months later. The hardest thing I have ever done! But, I am so much freaking happier now!

Brief_Theory_1778 , Keira Burton Report

Final score:

9points

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Raine Soo 3 years ago

I have learned the hard way that there is no point in staying in a relationship that has run its course. We had both stopped trying and were beyond apathetic. I'm glad that you have now found some measure of happiness.

1point

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#33

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I really don’t talk about it honestly. I could write a couple of books, on the failures of empathy and camaraderie I’ve encountered throughout my life. I feel like I would be dashing the hopes of any men who want a peaceful and meaningful life.

I’ve not been flaunted, but I’ve been taken advantage of, disdained, spat on, dismissed, laughed at, physically assaulted, threatened, later jumped, and made a literal new target of ethnic gangs.

I honestly recommend just finding a therapist, it’s a literal cultural crime on every continent to be weak as a man. At least a therapist is expected to be rational and cultured.

GreenMirage , Alex Green Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Aeon Flux 3 years ago

"Ethnic gangs" ?

1point

#34

I was discussing with a classmate (yes we have classmates here like high school) in college about how I live with my brother but we haven't spoked in more than 4 years because we can't stand each other and how it feels so weird when people mention their siblings as great friends. A week later, I was angry at something in class and he said "...and you know this is why you don't even speak to your brother, not talking to your own brother what kinda attitude..." and made a huge fuss about it that day I stopped our discussion to the bear minimum ever since.

There's also this girl who I got close to and I would listen to her issues and help as much as I can we have similar problems but she at times would made fun of my body type or just laugh. Specially one time I was talking about how I don't wear Nike Air Forces because of my skinny ankles and I could hear her behind me laughing. Knowing that she has a body type that made her really insecure I never understand how she could be so mean. Fast forward months later she asked me out on a date I declined.

DudeNeedsToTalkRN Report

Final score:

8points

POST

Katy 3 years ago

Maybe she didn"t mean the laughing in a bad way if she asked you on a date...you know some girls are also insecure and doing weird things when trying to get an attention of a boy. Maybe she thought you are making a joke so she laughed. Just saying...

5points

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#35

To quote Danny, "the last time I gave a [damn], I got [screwed]."

Plenty of folks say that men should be more open and honest with their emotions, but nobody actually wants to hear or help deal with those emotions unless they're getting a paycheck for it.

rkx801 Report

Final score:

8points

POST

#36

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Anytime my ex needed help or support, I was always there to lend a hand. Anytime I needed help and support, when I'd lose jobs due to my various mental issues, when I needed to cry, when I was at my lowest points with them, all of a sudden our relationship was drifting apart, we're on separate paths, they wanted to go on breaks.

mickeymau5music , mrhayata Report

Final score:

8points

POST

#37

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Aunt and I(M) got into a fight, I was 16 the time. It was a misunderstanding. She was shouting that I cursed at her when I didn’t even knew she was there. Parents were unreasonable and kept telling me that I shouldn’t have shouted back because they were older even though they were in the wrong. Told my girlfriend and some of my new friends at the new school. They were very helpful in the messages, morning comes and they were laughing at a part of the story I told them which didn’t really mattered in comparison to what I felt. Didn’t talk or came near them for 3 days. Girlfriend apologized though when I told her how insensitive it was.

_iamJO , Jarkko Laine Report

Final score:

7points

POST

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#38

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I told my employer about how I was going through a divorce because my quality at work was being effect and that I was going to see a counselor who volunteered at an addiction recovery and who convinced me to volunteer and teach recovering addicts how to keep bees as therapy. My employer later accused me of stealing $15000 worth of bee things and honey with no evidence and illegally searched my storage shed where I kept my personal bee things at a private yard. Later he reduced my hours from 40 to 4 to try and get me to quit. Which worked as I had to commute 45 minutes to work and for 4 hours a week, split between 3 days, it wasn't worth it.

originalbeeman , Jason Riedy Report

Final score:

7points

POST

#39

In my exit interview with a company that nearly drove me to suicide, I shared a few personal details hoping to make a few people realize just how bad things had gotten. The company had purposefully put me in absolutely horrible situations year after year because they knew I was dedicated and dependable. What started out as my dream job quickly spiraled into a soul-sucking abusive and hostile work environment, and the executives and HR couldn't have cared less since they were getting monstrous bonuses. As a thank you for my efforts, the company demoted me, cut my pay, kicked me out of my own department, and dumped 3 people's jobs on me in the process. I had enough and I quit.

In the exit interview, I remained professional and calm. When HR asked me why I was leaving, I had every reason bullet-pointed and shared them calmly and verbatim. I also accused HR of knowing the reasons and hiding it because it garnished her favor with new management. She looked shocked, which was a completely fabricated reaction. At one point I said "This company continually put me in situations that were entirely unacceptable, knowingly hostile, and the responsibility for the well being, safety, and security of most employees here was on my shoulders, yet I had zero support from day one. I internalized the stress for too long, and by the time I realized the severity, it was too late. I was in the hospital multiple times dealing with chronic pain and suicide attempts. The company even felt it was acceptable to have customers call me directly while I was in a hospital bed. I wasn't even allowed to take time off when half of my family died. Where were you? On vacation. Where was everyone else? Heads in the sand. You knew, you did nothing."

I was promptly asked to leave the building. I haven't worked there in several years now, and I hear that my name still gets brought up on a weekly basis. HR leaked my statement through gossip, and it got back to me by a few former colleagues. That company hired so many unethical people all at once, I think Satan himself wouldn't dare step foot in there.

sump___erson Report

Final score:

6points

POST

Raine Soo 3 years ago

Human resources is there to protect the company, not you. My best friend was sexually molested by a co-worker, and the first thing the company said was: "I wouldn't press charges or take legal action against us if I were you." And, they never fired the perpetrator either because he denied everything, and it became a game of 'he said, she said.' HR told her that they didn't have enough proof to terminate his employment. She was in a deep depression about it for a long time.

1point

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#40

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I was kind of dating a woman, she wanted me to have a STD test just to make sure i didn't had anything, so we could have some intimacy without protection and without worries (she was on the pill). I had the opportunity to have sex, but i declined because i wanted to respect what she told me, next day she returned with her abusive ex boyfriend. We had plans for the summer and everything was gone in a second. It hurt.

I would say i dodged a bullet.

anto_pty , Marsel Minga Report

Final score:

5points

POST

Brigitte 3 years ago

I don't get it. You wanted to respect her but didn't want to get tested? What's wrong with asking for a STD test? I think she was the responsible one here.

0points

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#41

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings It's really sad to hear how things typically go for you guys but I'm loving how supportive everyone is in the comments!

jenn583 , Tony Alter Report

Final score:

5points

POST

#42

You remember that meme if that guy getting shot by dozens of hundreds of arrows? Thats what happend when I did it out in public

allenbot3000p Report

Final score:

4points

POST

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#43

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings Haha, I have some guilt issues from some war [stuff], and when I get drunk it slips out and everything gets awkward. Literally the only people who don’t give me [damn] for expressing it are strippers, and that I is only if I am paying.

I understand why though. Horrible things horrify people, and they want to distance themselves from it. When I drop that on people it is rude of me, because who wants to think about that?

NGL I have caught myself doing the same thing, but now that I am aware, I am much more sympathetic.

Redditisforposers , ArmyAmber Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)

This may be difficult but expressing yourself like that to strangers would be extremely awkward. I would either speak to someone close to you or a therapist. You shouldn't expect much from a stranger. I can't imagine what you are going through but I hope you find someone you can talk to.

1point

#44

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings One thing I've noticed is that if I explain my problems through humour then everything is fine. If I explain them seriously, as I've only done maybe 2 or 3 times... every time they have either left me or ghosted me

My feeling is that, at least with the women I've met and talked to, they only care about your issues so long as it doesn't affect them. As long as you're still going to deal with it yourself and they don't need to do anything, you're fine. If you actually need comforting at any moment or anything, it's over. I've had a couple women say basically exactly that. I remember one in particular talking about her husband and saying 'I don't want to think of him as weak, but I do'. Sounds like it's not even in their control

dolphin37 , Sincerely Media Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

This attitude of men opening up as being weak needs to stop. It takes a lot of effort for many to open up, to me that is strong, not weak.

2points

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#45

I always try to let the women I care about know how I'm feeling genuinely, not just what I tell my mates. But everytime I do this I end up catching feelings for my best friends when they have no interest in me and am completely oblivious to the ones who do/ did actually like me. The vicious cycle has been going on for 3 years now and I wish I knew how to fix it and have lost 3/4 potential dates.

TheEncryptedPsychic Report

Final score:

4points

POST

#46

I was a late bloomer romantically - not a "nice guy" or a creeper, I just had some serious self-worth/depression issues. I'd been in very good shape, had a stable job, and had hobbies that had me in the outdoors and with the best of friends.

So when the first girl that I clicked with after I'd decided to give dating a try dumped me after finding out that I'd been a virgin, it didn't feel great. Apparently bringing a flower to a date for her had been pathetic, as well.

I hadn't been hiding it from her or been in love or anything, but someone basically telling me that I was clingy and weird just because I'd never really tried. to be with someone until my mid-20s.

Rook33 Report

Final score:

4points

POST

Raine Soo 3 years ago

There is nothing wrong with being a late bloomer. Why is everyone is such a rush? I had a high school relationship, and then nothing until a serious boyfriend in my mid 20s. Also, bringing a flower to a date is not pathetic. She was just unappreciative of everything.

2points

#47

Every time I open up to a woman, trust in her, invest in her emotionally, she ends up running away. Then with women where I'm not invested, even when I tell them in no uncertain terms they go in hard and want me to be all lovey dovey with her. So I think I'm done with the whole love and vulnerability [stuff].

WindJammer27 Report

Final score:

4points

POST

#48

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings So, when i was still trying to make my marriage work, my therapist advised me to open up to my ex wife about my past. So i did just that. After i told her the second story about my sister, she threw it back in my face the day. Told my therapist “yep, not doing that again.” Therapist agreed available introduced me to a marriage counselor. That back fired too.

i_need_a_username201 , cottonbro Report

Final score:

3points

POST

#49

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings This isn't earth-shatteringly bad like some people, but me and my girlfriend are long distance, and the pandemic means we've not seen eachother in almost 9 months at this point. That's caused some friction.

She too has previously pulled the 'you need to open up and communicate your problems' line on me, which to an extent I get, I'm quite a reserved person. But despite my warnings at the time that she might not like what she hears, she still gets incredibly hurt when I criticise her even the slightest bit or tries to one-up me when I complain about how things in my life are going.

I'm sticking with it because its what she repeatedly says she wants, but I don't think its done our relationship any favours. She gets to feel insecure and upset because I say things I'd otherwise have kept secret, and I get to feel guilty for making her feel that way with none of the catharsis of actually venting to someone who cares.

Skitterleap , Ninian Reid Report

Final score:

3points

POST

WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago

This relationship isn't good for either of them and I just don't understand why they stick together. They would be much happier if they broke up.

2points

#50

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I have nothing to add, other than I echo other men's sentiments here. There's a reason its called being vulnerable: because you're leaving yourself open to being hurt. So be careful. It sucks but that's the world we live in.

c3534l , Ben White Report

Final score:

3points

POST

#51

30 Men Share The Worst Reactions They've Received After Showing Their True Feelings I was told I had no fire or passion and my girlfriend was attracted to me when we argued and I showed a bit of "spark"

Another time I told my mum about my anxiety and depression diagnosis. She storrmed upstairs and told me I was lucky because in the 80s id have been thrown out of the house and there was some show where that happened and this guy was crying and that would be me...

All very bizarre.

DJS112 , Adrian Swancar Report

Final score:

3points

POST

Paradise 3 years ago

Knee jerk reaction on her pwrt, maybe. I am not excusing her behavior but wonder if she felt she failed at raising him if he isn't happy? I am am mom and worry about my kids' mental health and how I contribute to it positively and negatively.

0points

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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Liucija Adomaite is a creative mind with years of experience in copywriting. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus.

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What do you think ?

POST

elStiJneriNO 3 years ago

as a man who has had similar stories. luckily no heartbreaking ones but you learn to hide a lot very young anyway. i would like to acknowledge this kind of things also happen to women too. So my sympathy goes out to all, as this is not a battle about who gets abused most.

24points

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

This just makes me so sad but also angry. Angry at the people who ask you to open up to then just throw it in your face. These people clearly struggle with empathy. I hope these men can find someone to love, care for and to listen to them, even if it's uncomfortable. They are our father's, brothers, sons etc and if we keep ignoring their needs, we will continue to see the high rates of male suicide. My heart goes to all of you.

19points

Daria B 3 years ago

I second all that you said. I just want to add -> not only suicide, but violence in general, even homicide. Abuse can manifest into harm towards others as well as self-harm. It's important for the men as individuals, but also for an overall healthy society. We need to really spread the real love, not only the cutsey hearties.

10points

Lijntje. 3 years ago

Hi. I feel like i constantly see your name in reactions because i read a lot of bored panda xD. I just wanted to say whoever you are thank you. You have said amazing things. You are a light in a lot of darkness on the internet. ^^ always having a nice thing to say trying to make people feel better. Maybe totally unrelevent. But dont forget that your important too and need and deserve to be taken care of. ( in my experience the people who give the most to others might be the ones to value themselfs least or forget about themselfs) might totally not apply to you. Just Wanter to say ^^

3points

Stannous Flouride 3 years ago

I'd like to add that the general response to this post by the BoredPandas was very encouraging. There are a few folks who seem only interested in attacking, belittling, or tearing others down but the rest, especially you, Foxxy, are what makes coming here worth the time.

2points

Sue Bradley 3 years ago

To all of the people who have made posts here I urge you to see a therapist - if you've seen one before then find a new one. None of you deserve to live with these awful memories that have hurt and scarred you. You all deserve better, with a good therapist you can learn how to safely say what you want to without judgement, and how to safely put the feelings and memories away, then move forward with your lives. Best wishes to all of you Xxx

14points

Cold Contagious 3 years ago

This is very true. Find a therapist that you mesh well with, it may take a few attempts to find the right one but it's worth it. Having someone in your life to validate your feelings and help you find your path through the process and a light at the end can be very freeing. Every person in this article (and beyond) deserves to have support, care, empathy, and a listening ear, free from judgement or retribution.

1point

Izzy Curer 3 years ago

Here's the thing, though. When children see their dads acting emotional or vulnerable, they no longer think that it's a big deal when they grow up. My dad was this way. He always wore his heart on his sleeve, and I'm thankful for it. These stories simply baffle me. Tbh, I've seen quite a few men cry, or tell me their very ordinary, human emotions, and it just never seemed... like a transgression. It was just two people talking. So, if nothing else, don't open up for your girlfriend or wife, open up for your kids.

10points

emily sandoval 3 years ago

I once wrote a letter to my mom because it was hard for me to tell her my feelings verbally so I wrote a letter she LITERALLY didn't even read it and tore the letter right in my face and threw it in the trash. I cried that night. :/

5points

Ashamba 3 years ago (edited)

We all start off immature, without empathy or tact. Some people learn early, but some people never learn... Best to avoid them if you can spot them (in the getting-to-know-you phase, ask questions that make them talk about people- you can learn a lot from the way a person talks about their friends when they're trying to make an impression - if they are derogatory or competitive it's a red flag.)

5points

Viviane 3 years ago

Good idea! I recently broke off a long friendship. I had been disillusioned for years, but hearing them talk about other friends didn't help.

1point

Forty Seven Pandas 3 years ago

I'm seeing a lot of comments tha are basically "Not All Women", in reaction to this men sharing their experiences with women. Obviously not all women are this way, but it is a fact that many if not most women around the world are deeply affected by patriarchal ideas of what a strong man is. Many women expect a good, strong man to be one who "keeps it together" under difficult situations. It isn't fair, and hopefully we (men and women) can work towards changing that.

4points

Raine Soo 3 years ago

The reverse sort of happened to me. My first boyfriend in my adulthood confided in me, shared his feelings, and cried when things weren't going his way. In other words, he was not shy about expressing himself. I was always supportive, and never laughed or belittled him. We were together for almost five years. Somewhere between year 4 and year 5, he told me that I was uninspiring, that I didn't inspire him to do better, to want to do better. Yeah, that was a slap in the face. Thanks a heap buddy.

4points

Kari Panda 3 years ago (edited)

I worry that this thread may discourage men (and maybe women) from opening up. Please be reminded that if someone is a jerk to you because you‘re showing emotions, the problem lies with them, not you. Or in other words: would you think badly of a friend/family member if they came to you and told you about their struggles? Before you care about someone’s opinion about you, take a step back and decide whether their opinion should even matter to you. Maybe your wife/friend/parent will laugh at you or worse if you open up to them, but then they‘re not good people to have in your life to begin with.

4points

Car addict 3 years ago

i had a gf who gotten mad at me for not showing up to school on the my sister died 3 years ago and i dont want people to see me upset and the struggling side of me and she said i was still wrong and i needed to suck it up and i told her about my suicidal thoughts and she laughed in my face and my what was friend said that i need to stop being so selfish and talked of all the people that she know that died.......its different when you have watched 4 people die and your sister taken from you too

3points

Viviane 3 years ago

You've been through a lot. Of course you should get support for that! Are there counselors you can talk to? Or online groups? Years ago, I used an online group while recovering from trauma. It helped in that I knew I wasn't alone or unusual or selfish.

2points

Helen Haley 3 years ago

Some of these were straight up jerk moves, some were socially awkward, and some responses were having a zero emotional intelligence. Pretty much the same responses you'll get to opening up to anyone. It is actually more rare that someone will have the exact right response, intentionally or unintentionally.

3points

TmKhr 3 years ago

Something like this happened to me with my ex gf. I was a virgin when I met her (and was afterwards too) and our first intercourse together didn't really work since I was too nervous. I later told I was a bit worried about it, and she said I was making her stressed for telling about my worries. I ended up apologizing about that on numerous occasions until she dumped me.

2points

Viviane 3 years ago (edited)

I hope you find someone who can use the simple words, "Don't worry, it happens." By the way, try not to apologize many times about the same thing. I used to do that, and now I just apologize once or twice. If I still feel guilty, I try to be a bit nicer than usual, such as giving a gift or making someone their favourite food.

1point

kjorn 3 years ago

and wonder why mens don't want to open up? that s**t! i work in a call center and when i have shitty days, and i got so many, it's always make me cringe when i heard people : hi, how are you today?. i F*****G HATE THOSE WORDS!!! because people don't want to know how i feel. don't ask if you don't really want to know. i was in a really rough spot 3 years ago and they were days i just couldn't heard that! it make me left for home for the day a couple times.

2points

Viviane 3 years ago

I agree, it's generally not my favourite question, either. When a stranger asks me "How are you" I sometimes answer "Greetings to you, too." In some cultures, it's only asked if someone wants to know, but in others, it's just a greeting.

1point

deanna woods 3 years ago

No one deserves to be ignored or have their feelings dismissed. Everyone is entitled to be able to share their feelings no matter if they are a man or a woman. If you want someone to listen to you, but don't want to listen to them, then you are the reason your relationships are always screwed up.

1point

Kiem Gallagher 3 years ago

I think the key is being open from the get go because at least then if they're not into it they can leave before you're in "serious relationship" or even marriage stage and you can keep looking for someone who loves your openness. I think when you've been the strong, stoic one always and suddenly you open up it can be shocking or it can feel like you're this whole new different person they don't know. And it goes both for men and women, really. I think we can all be victims to this "put your best foot forward" in the beginning of the relationship, always trying to be the fun, sexy, cool person and keeping the vulnerable side of ourselves hidden so people fall in love with the fun, sexy, cool you... but you can't be fun, sexy, cool 100% of the time because you're a human being so there will be bad days, sadness, anger, anxiety, etc. My husband is the quiet type but even when our relationship was its early stages, I would notice his mood and encourage him to use his words.

1point

Debbie Chapman 3 years ago

My mother would use any of my fears or when people were mean to me (you deserved it) to throw it up in my face to hurt me whenever she could. I learned early only on (6 or 7) to never tell her how I felt. Abusers are abusers it doesn't matter what sex you are. They enjoy hurting other people.

1point

El muerto 3 years ago

man that gave anxiety, as guy that has experience all that I've seen some s**t in the way people react to feelings coming from a male, a lot harder than when females open up. people kind of expect it more, and get uncomfortable with the fact that a penis doesn't shield you from feelings...some guys will talk about it, others will externalice with "typical male behaviour"...you learn not expect support from anybody and know that is easier to say what people wants to hear than what you feel

1point

Michelle Brandt 3 years ago

I hate that there are people who do this to anybody in the world. I may not always know what to say, but I will ALWAYS be there and listen. And not tell everyone else about it the second you're out of earshot.

1point

Sky Render 3 years ago

I remember once when I tried to encourage a mature and emotionally balanced discussion that someone went into a full-blown diatribe about how I must be a woman for not wanting to engage in what amounted to a digital "stick"-measuring contest. It's hilarious in retrospect now of course (especially since they were technically right about my being a woman and I didn't know it at the time), but back then I mostly just thought that there must be something wrong with that guy. I don't think the term "toxic masculinity" even existed back then.

1point

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

There was something wrong that that guy. A lot of things wrong. And if he judged you for "being a wokman", he'd flip out if he saw me being a "man" by taking care of home repairs... If we're going by silly outdated stereotypes.

1point

AzKhaleesi 3 years ago

I had to stop reading, made my stomach hurt. Women: Listen up. If you're one of those POS in these stories, and I know there's at least one reading these, STOP! Men have feelings too. It's not all about YOU all the time. Women like you give women like us bad names and ruin relationships for us. You don't want to be objectified yet you want to treat men like your personal toy. F**k that. If you can't treat a man they way they deserve to be treated then do us all a favor and stay in your homes and be single. Get a cat.... no don't get a cat, they don't deserve the cruelty. Just stay by yourselves. If my Son or brother or guy friend was with a toxic pos like these girls I'd beat their asses myself.

1point

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

*pulls out knife* *cuts up some veggies* *tosses a salad* *gives it to everybody here along with a hug* *turns around and stabs the offenders with said knife*

0points

Christel Nellemann 3 years ago

Toxic masculinity, the unhealthy view of what a “man” issupposed to be, is just wrecking so many things. All the men that felt hurt, when opening up to someone else, and then did not feel met, rather rejected, and then gomon to never do that again? - people are very different, you did it to the wrong people, do it again and again - in small bits. Relationships grow so much deeper and stronger, friend and partners alike, when being true . We cannot be sure, that others can carry us and solve our problems, but just having someone aknowledge your emotions, helps being able to grow. So you too get better at supporting others and thus bonding, the most important feeling, we need that as a social species. I have several male friends that are for life, exactly by bonding for real.

0points

Katinka Min 3 years ago

Not everybody can't bear the weight of some stories. Freinds, family, partners usuallyy cannot and should not be a therapist replacement. But the sheer amount of toxic reactions in this thread is just upsetting. I said it a million times and will ay it a million times more: Feminism is there to liberate both, women and men.

0points

Marnie 3 years ago

This is one of the most heartbreaking posts I've ever read on BP.

0points

Pezor Zass 3 years ago

yep, a lot of this rings true with me, too. Also the number of women who were instantly turned off by me telling them that i'm bi, even though i haven't had a boyfriend in years and years, but i am still occasionally attracted to guys... there's a reason guys don't open up. Still hopeful that the younger folks are better at this.

0points

Penny Kemper 3 years ago

Pretty much just shows you what kind of person the other person is.

0points

Manu 3 years ago

It is a fact. As a male, the very instant you open up yourself about your feelings, you kill any attraction the woman next to you may have. Every time, with all kinds of women, no exceptions, despite anyone who wants to say otherwise

0points

H Moore 3 years ago

You guys, tell these women this when you first meet them, that way you're not wasting time on narcissistic bitches.

0points

3 years ago

These are ridiculous!!! No one, NO ONE, should be treated like this. It would hurt so bad. How can people be so heartless????

0points

Stille20 3 years ago

It is absolutely harder for men to share their feelings. However, there are lots of loving and understanding people. You can choose to think no woman will listen to your feelings or your friends will judge you, but it really means finding the right people to surround yourself with. That's the tricky bit.

0points

Mshauri Mazuri 3 years ago

A guard is there to be your guard. That's why we have it. Don't let your guard down anytime. If you need someone, just cry in Jesus or whomever god you believe in. If you have a bestfriend, good for you. I have two besties and trust me, both of them doesnt have the same level of knowledge about my secrets and behaviors. One knows about how naughty i am. One knows just how silly i am. I still have my secrets that i still dont share with the two. That is for your own sake. That is your weakness. That should be kept inside you. It should be just between you and God. Then you'll be safe. Don't let your guard down ever.

0points

Steve Wilson 3 years ago

I don’t care what they pretend to tell you but if you’re a man & you expose your feelings to a woman they will think you’re weak & will seek somebody ‘stronger’. Don’t fall for any of the bullshit. Men have been hiding their feelings for thousands of years and women like it just fine that way.

0points

Viviane 3 years ago

That's too bad. You shouldn't be betrayed for discussing your feelings. I hope you find someone you can talk to - listening is one half of communication. My husband is not the strong silent type and I wouldn't trade him for one. I'm also very happy that my father talks about his feelings, now that my mother's gone.

1point

AndersM 3 years ago

And the people tell men that we should be more open and i contact with ourselves. I once trusted a girlfriend with my feelings. She used it against me. I have never made that mistake again.

0points

Viviane 3 years ago

Sounds like meeting supportive women is really hard where you live. Where I live, men and women don't behave in very different ways. For example, I was sitting in a cafe when a man told me that his relationship broke up. He was sad, so I listened to him and commiserated. It didn't matter if someone's a man or woman or gay or straight - it doesn't change that we all feel sad at sad moments.

3points

Steve 3 years ago

I got force-choked after telling Darth Vader his plan was dumb

0points

Logic and Reason 3 years ago

This is why I just don’t talk about myself. No need to potentially make myself feel worse.

0points

mac 3 years ago

Many of these example weren't really about men not being able to express feelings and/or emotion and just about people being jerks. Like I never ask someone what's wrong unless I actually want to know.

0points

denzoren 3 years ago

These were really bad. Trust issues are the worst...my answers are usually, "just the normal, nothing new" or "living the dream".

0points

Mohammad Ammar 3 years ago

Contrary to what most people think, it's actually women who are the most dangerous to open up to. They've been raised to dump their emotional load on men and have someone to lean on at all times. Seeing this, boys are also led to believe that girls are incapable of handling anything and so, are much less likely to confide in them. This is why we see many men make decisions without consulting the women in their lives and many women incapable of making independent decisions. Society takes the whole notion of men and women completing one another too literally. Let go of the idea of "finding your other half" and learn to be a complete human being first!

0points

Viviane 3 years ago (edited)

I agree with working on oneself first before looking to another person to be whole. As for your portrayal of male-female relations, it sounds as if you live in a community where women are infantilized and encouraged to be dependent on men and the men are confrontation-averse. It's not healthy for the women (who can't seem to manage living on their own and don't get a say in decisions affecting them) or the men (who have to make all the decisions and then deal with unhappy partners). I live in Canada (European descent), so the sexes being that polarized and being such poor communicators sounds odd to me. Immature adults exist, of course, but I find it easy to meet happy couples that get along well.

3points

Stanley Judd 3 years ago

This is a problem for straight men who possess emotional intelligence. Alpha men will just kill themselves if they can't find an outlet but emotionally intelligent men realize they can overcome issues through unloading, discussion, and support; however most straight men tend to choose their partners for looks rather than emotional maturity so they dig their own graves. Very easy to when young and inexperienced with life.

-1point

Adam Hendron 3 years ago

For millenia, women have looked to their mates for protection and provision, while they are in the more vulnerable position of bearing children. Male toughness has been integral to human survival. This is reinforced instinctively, not culturally, at its core. Fortunately men have the ability to compartmentalize their emotions in order to deal with the crisis at hand and be reliable providers during work hours. Testosterostone minimizes communication between the right and left hemisphere of the brain, for this purpose. At the proper time and place, one has the privilege of pouring out his pain to our compassionate savior. I have found this more healing than any amount of counseling. The results are often miraculous.

-1point

lara 3 years ago

"Toxic femininity" is just as prevalent as "toxic masculinity." TF is NOT a response to TM, it is a new form of oppression backed by society AND law.

-3points

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

Maybe we should just BE KIND and stop labeling it "toxic this" or "toxic that". A jerk is a jerk, regardless of gender.

3points

POST

elStiJneriNO 3 years ago

24points

Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago

19points

Daria B 3 years ago

10points

Lijntje. 3 years ago

3points

Stannous Flouride 3 years ago

2points

Sue Bradley 3 years ago

14points

Cold Contagious 3 years ago

1point

Izzy Curer 3 years ago

10points

emily sandoval 3 years ago

5points

Ashamba 3 years ago (edited)

5points

Viviane 3 years ago

Good idea! I recently broke off a long friendship. I had been disillusioned for years, but hearing them talk about other friends didn't help.

1point

Forty Seven Pandas 3 years ago

4points

Raine Soo 3 years ago

4points

Kari Panda 3 years ago (edited)

4points

Car addict 3 years ago

3points

Viviane 3 years ago

2points

Helen Haley 3 years ago

3points

TmKhr 3 years ago

2points

Viviane 3 years ago (edited)

1point

kjorn 3 years ago

2points

Viviane 3 years ago

1point

deanna woods 3 years ago

1point

Kiem Gallagher 3 years ago

1point

Debbie Chapman 3 years ago

1point

El muerto 3 years ago

1point

Michelle Brandt 3 years ago

1point

Sky Render 3 years ago

1point

Leo Domitrix 3 years ago

1point

AzKhaleesi 3 years ago

1point

Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago

*pulls out knife* *cuts up some veggies* *tosses a salad* *gives it to everybody here along with a hug* *turns around and stabs the offenders with said knife*

0points

Christel Nellemann 3 years ago

0points

Katinka Min 3 years ago

0points

Marnie 3 years ago

This is one of the most heartbreaking posts I've ever read on BP.

0points

Pezor Zass 3 years ago

0points

Penny Kemper 3 years ago

Pretty much just shows you what kind of person the other person is.

0points

Manu 3 years ago

0points

H Moore 3 years ago

You guys, tell these women this when you first meet them, that way you're not wasting time on narcissistic bitches.

0points

3 years ago

These are ridiculous!!! No one, NO ONE, should be treated like this. It would hurt so bad. How can people be so heartless????

0points

Stille20 3 years ago

0points

Mshauri Mazuri 3 years ago

0points

Steve Wilson 3 years ago

0points

Viviane 3 years ago

1point