When it comes to the worst baby names in the world — we have to go to the internet to find them. After all, it is where all parents meet to discuss their cruel mistakes. However, don’t rush to judge these bad baby names. The intentions behind them were wholesome (in most cases), only they splashed straight down to the ground soon after.
Take Ohnasti, for example. It sounds exotic, but most importantly — it’s unique! It’s hard to find a person with such a name. You need to listen closely to find the problem with it. The name sounds like, “oh nasty.” While it might be one of the worst names to name your child, the fun does not stop here!
Today, we have the power of the internet to help us find these unfortunate (horrible) names. Luckily, people decided to share their terrible baby names on Reddit. Frasepalm asked an interesting question — “What baby name immediately makes you lose all respect for the parents and why?”
However, don’t rush to read the worst baby names just yet! Learn the reasoning behind some of the horrible names and what problems parents (and children) encounter.
What is a “Name Regret”?
You might not know it, but Name Regret is a serious thing. However, if the name you choose does not fall in the “terrible and life-ruining” zone — you’re safe from it. Name Regret affects parents who think they picked the wrong name for their baby. The best cure for it? Time or another name for their baby.
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Ohnasti
Supposedly pronounced “Honesty” but all I’ll ever see is “Oh Nasty!”
Back when I worked with children, I met a young lass named Younique. I felt sorry for her. She was only 4-5 at the time, and the moment she entered school, she began to hate it because the other children thought that it was silly and wouldn’t play with her. Eventually, the dad of another child said that it was a bad name *to her face.* Seriously. Don’t do things like this to your children. They aren’t pets. They’ll have to deal with the repercussions of your bad naming choices.
Once got beat up by a pair of identical twins cause they didn't like my name
So my Wife was giving birth to our first Son and the midwife asked if we’d chosen a name yet. We said yes and told her ‘Seth’. She replied “Oh thank goodness, a normal name! The last woman in here named her child Precious Bunny!”
One time when I was working at a motel, I took a reservation over the phone from a woman for her daughter:
Woman: Her name is Sri Lanka, S R I space L A N K A...
Me: Oh, you mean like the country!
Woman: Whaddaya mean, country?!?
Not so much a specific name, but gross butcherings of names. Ie. Kaightlynne instead of Caitlyn.
One little girl got her name legally changed in court, because her parents named her Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.
I used to write on cakes, the worst name I ever saw was "Tuba Poo". I asked if it was a nickname, it was not. It's been like 6 years and it still haunts me. Her mother's name was Natalie, why Natalie? Why?
Any name based on a popular TV series or movie. Like, if I see your daughter is named Khaleesi, I think significantly less of you as a person.
People that name their kids things like that are generally chavs/bogans/whatever the American equivalent is of those two words.
I had a set of twins (I'm a teacher) a couple years ago named Heaven and Nevaeh.
I had four kids named Shaun in one class, all spelled differently, none spelled Shaun or Sean.
I had a girl named Jezebel and boys named Jesus and Messiah in one class. (Nothing really wrong with those names, but having all three in one class was odd.) I also had a kid named Ted that year. Not Theodore or Edward, just Ted. I saw his birth certificate, just Ted.
This year, one of the other teachers has a boy named M'Lord. I'm not even making that.
What's getting my goat this year is the random apostrophes. Your child's name is Elayna, a lovely name, IMO, but E'lay'na is ridiculous. I have three girls with random apostrophes in their names, its annoying.
I had a teacher in grade 1/2 whose last name was Dyck (sounds like d**k). Fortunately at that age I didn't think anything of it. Apparently her parents didn't think anything of it either...
Her parents named her Rhoda. Rhoda Dyck. I have to assume they were sadistic assholes.
Just changed all of my plans for today so I can re-watch every episode of Letterkenny lol
How Do You Choose a Baby Name You Won’t Regret?
If you want to do something right — take as much time as you need. The best name doesn’t come in an instant. When avoiding the worst names for a child — you might want to have a few “guidelines” to help you. Make sure to avoid:
- Names that don’t make sense.
- Names you are pressured to use (or the opposite — pressured not to use by professionals).
- Names that are easily misspelled.
- Names that just don’t suit your baby.
Sometimes, even following these rules, mistakes are made (on purpose or accidentally). So, think with hindsight in mind.
My cousin named her son named Lincoln, which isn't bad by itself.
At least until she had her daughter, Kennedy. She said she plans on naming her next kid Garfield.
She literally names her kids after the last names of *assassinated presidents.*
Kash. It isn't the worst name in the world but the fact his second name was 'Ransom', made it a whole lot worse.
Kash Ransom.
I was on a little league baseball team with these two brothers named Doer and Achiever.
Talk about pressure to perform, those parents had expectations.
Achiever sounds like someone sneezing if said quickly, which is bad enough, but Doer? That just seems lazy, like they thought of achiever then couldn't come up with anything else.
A co-worker has a friend who named her daughters Vengeance and Violence.
Are they twins? Are they identical? Do they wear blue dresses? Do they live in a hotel?
A few years ago there was a guy in my area in the news. His first name was Justice. He's doing 100 years for stabbing 3 people.
Chicago, North, True. Just to name a few. I’m no Kardashian hater, but I really can’t stand the names they give their kids.
Chicago is ok-ish only because growing up I had a friend named California we all called her Cali for short. But North and True is strange...and Apple.
Strap in and prepare for rough seas!
My mom is a midwife and one day she came home with what she thought was the epitome of dumb names.
These parents had just gotten back from a trip to the states, where they had visited a dock to look at boats, and one of those beautiful boats had an even more beautiful and exotic name, they wanted to name their baby daughter after this boat.
Usnavy
My mom is a saint for not laughing.
I mean it could be true but it's a little ripped from musical theatre: "Usnavi de la Vega is the central protagonist of In the Heights. Originally from the Dominican Republic, he arrived in Washington Heights with his parents when he was very young. His name is based on the boat they saw when they came in (US NAVY)."
I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
Someone I know is a nurse in the ER so they've delivered quite a few babies. But one day they said that one set of parents decided to name their kid Ssss. You pronounce Ssss, Forest.
Are There Banned Baby Names?
No one is safe from the ban hammer, names especially. Some countries decided to take the extra step to ban a couple of names. For example:
- Nutella (the name) is banned in France. However, it is not because of any copyright laws. The judge ruled that such a name should be given to a child. Instead, the judge ruled to name the child Ella.
- IKEA is banned in Sweden. You can’t disrespect the most important store in the country.
- . (just a dot, nothing more) is banned in New Zealand. The laws prohibit the use of these kinds of symbols in the name.
- Tom is not allowed in Portugal. However, you can call your child Tomás instead (a better choice in hindsight). In Portugal, Tom is considered a nickname. The laws in Portugal prohibit the use of nicknames as official names.
- @ (like the Gmail) is banned in China. The reason is that it’s pronounced ai-ta, which sounds very similar to the phrase “love him.”
Nevaeh, although I think that has more to do with the fact that every parent I know who has named their baby this is a teenager who thinks they’re “soooo cool” for dropping out of school in 9th grade, who are about as deep as a puddle but think they’re Aristotle or Shakespeare because “it’s heaven spelled backwards since she’s my angel”
Naming your child Bear makes me think you’re a huge twat. Mostly because I’ve met a few gorgeous children called Bear and everyone of the parents were huge twats.
Saw a fun name on the attendance sheet (so this is official) of one of my classes: Daddyboi
The overly matchy names to the point of ridiculousness. My top example is a set of brothers named Romance, Romantic, and Romeo.
Baby. As in the Dirty Dancing lead female. Because nobody in the professional world is going to want their name to be Baby.
I went to high school with a one "Crystal Shanda Lear."
This was back before dumb names were the rage. She would have been named that in, say, 81-82. Poor girl. I don't know that I lost respect for the parents so much as felt bad for her to be saddled with that s**t.
Any form of Aiden (Aidin, Ayden, Aidyn, Ayeden) and/or Ashley (Ashlee, Ashleigh, Ashlie, Ashli, Ash-Lee).
I am a teacher and have had students with all those variations. I actually had 3 Aidens and 4 Ashleys (none of which were spelled normally) in a class of 23 students.
Like come on parents, you aren't being original by making your kid's name ridiculous to spell.
I lose respect for parents who give their kids first names that when added to their given last names become horrible. The parents don't even care that their kid has to live with it. Two real examples I've come across are Richard Sieman (The guy's name is D**k Semen, for f***s sake.) And even worse, Desire Cox.
I normally agree, but every now and then you come across one that is actually kind of cool, in a "You could be famous with a name like that" way. Three examples I have known, all of whom were born between 1900 and 1920 were, Joy Devine and the brother and sister Treble and Tenor Bell. Edit: Also, look at my name, remove the later addition of "Hudson" and then sing "Puff the Magic Dragon". Just the first couple of lines.
I knew three sisters names -Autumn-Breeze, Summer-Skye and April-Rain.
Bonus addition one of them had a kid and named it Gidget.
Edit for those wondering: This is in Eastern Canada.
What Names Are Losing Popularity?
Some names lose their popularity slowly, fading away into obscurity or, in some cases, becoming the bane of society overall. The best example of the ladder — Karen. The name was popular in the past and given to almost every girl. However, when baby boomers grew up, the internet together decided to make them the bud of jokes (ruining a whole haircut, too).
In the end, the internet won. Karen lost popularity and became the subject of multiple jokes. However, it’s not the only name to lose popularity. The reason behind the popularity loss varies between the names. However, the memes on the internet quicken the downfall of a name.
I’ve taught:
- Precious
- Princess
- Righteousness
- Blessing
- Pious
- Destiny
*edit* forgot Sincere
I’ve taught an Annikin (yep, right after the prequel came out) Merlin, Wrigley (girl) Emmahleigh, and Aspen Forest.
I had a chemistry teacher who was an avid runner. He proudly told us his three children were named Miles, Lane, and Chase. How narcissistic do you have to be to name your children after your hobby?
I was once checking in a customer for service.
EmoChanel
And she was very proud of it.
You know the Duggar family (19 Kids and Counting)? One of their daughters named their son Spurgeon. SPURGEON.
Names with uneccessary letters or the rarely-seen, lack of necessary letters:
Jaiymes
Jaxn
Khaydence
Aayden
How Companies Impact the Naming Process?
Marketing is a powerful tool. If done correctly, people will buy your products. However, if you are a true marketing master (Don Draper-like) — people will name their children after your company and products. However, those names will quickly land on the list of the worst baby names ever.
Cool-named brands already have some babies named after them. For example, the leading car brands (Audi, Benz, Ford, and Kia) inspired parents to name their children. In 1987, for example, 182 girls were named after Porsche. However, there is no real reason to use brand names.
However, some companies decide to sweeten the deal. Several companies directly encourage parents to use brand names for their babies. Their offer? Free products (or a discount) for a lifetime. Subway, for example, announced they would give free sandwiches to people named like the company. In 96 hours, ten thousand people changed their names.
I once worked for Build-a-Bear Workshop. In one of their new hire training videos there was an employee taking to the camera about who the f**k knows because all I could focus on was her name tag. It said "Om'unique". Like, I'm Unique, except worse. I still have no idea what she was taking about.
I met the adult child of parents who named their daughter Morticia Addams, after the TV Show. I made her show me her driver's license and there was the proof. Her own parents had a different last name.
Prancer and Vixen for babies born during the Christmas season.
MyLuv (yes, I have met a kid named this). That poor kid is probably not going to be successful, unless they change their name later on.
KVIIIlyn
Anaesthasia. No s**t. Her name on her school documents was Anaesthasia.
There is a kid at my school literally named Shadow Black.
There was a girl in my sister’s class called Morshe. Her mother wanted to name her Maryam and her dad wanted to name her Porsche (which in of itself is an awful name). They decided to mash up Maryam and Porsche and call her Morshe.
What's wrong with Porsche (though I think it's better spelt Portia)?
One of my former employees had the first name “Baby Destiny.” Yes. Really.
Worse still, HR just put “Baby” on her name badge. For every time I had to catch myself and say the full name so I didn’t sound like a creep, I can only imagine how many other people didn’t realize there were two words in her name and had to refer to her as just Baby. Or how she must have felt to have EVERYONE calling her Baby.
I know some twins named Jeffrey and Jeffroy and it's just lazy.
Royalty. Legit worked with this hood dude named royalty. I think it kinda speaks for itself.
Again, I feel like the cultural significance of makes like this is being missed
A kid in my daughter’s class is named Trotter.
Neigh...
My mom works at an elementary school. There is a kid there whose name is Braxton Hycke. The poor kid.
Knew a family with Hunter, Fisher, and Ryder.
A girl at my high school named her child Tuff Danger so dumb names like that make me lose respect for someone.
There was a lady at the library the other day corralling her two kids, Bailey and Jameson. Either one is fine, but together...
Shaylynne, Laykyn, McKynleigh
Brayden, Hayden, Jayden
All of these kids attend the library programs my kid does. *Edit Laykyn and McKynleigh are twins. And no they’re not Irish. Not even the Irish go that bananas (I’m irish).
And, even though I love the old names, if you named your baby Atticus in 2018 you’re probably the world’s most annoying hipster.
Where the first and last name are the same, or derivative. John Johnson, David Davidson, etc.
My sister-in-law named her kid after the land of Canaan (biblical reference). For those not in the know, it's pronounced "cay-nin", or "cay-nun". She decided to pronounce it "cannon" ("Canon").
Not only is she one of the least Christian people I have ever met (who adamantly says she follows the Bible), she also consciously chose a well-known name and purposely mispronounced it for her kid's name.
Edit: my wife just reminded me that not only did her sister do the above, she also chose to spell his name "Kanann".
I know of someone who is called Star, which is kinda cute except for the fact she’s named that because it’s rats spelled backwards, she was born in the year of the rat...
A few weeks ago when I was at the gym, I looked up at the tv while I was running and there was a news report on about a missing child named Khaleesi, except it was spelled Cahleeseigh or Chalysee or something stupid like that. Bad enough that it's a title, not a name. Even worse that it's not even traditionally a position of power in the asoiaf universe--it's more "wife of leader" than "queen", as it is often thought of as. But the misspelling just make it so, so much worse. Hasn't that poor child been through enough? (I think the kid was found safe btw.)
I read the first 3 books before the TV series and loved the name Danerys. After the show came out and exploded, I thought the name might take off so I changed my mind about naming my daughter that. I was kind of surprised when it was Khaleesi instead.
I used to tutor and the Green family had their children getting tutored. Kids names: Kelly, Hunter, Sage and Forrest.
Destiny Love. That little girl is doomed.
I had a teacher whose given name was Love James Perry. He had our class try to guess it. Even with hints we couldn't get it cos too weird. (He just shortened it to L. James Perry.)
There was this neo-nazi couple that named one of their children after Adolf Hitler.
Name that has degrading meaning. I mean how stupid are you to call your son Loser. Yes, I am implying the Winner Lane and Loser Lane guy.
Any “creative” spelling of a normal name. Like spelling:
Zoe-Zoi
Charles-Sharlz (yes I know one)
And so on
Zoi is just the Greek spelling of a Greek name -_- like any other spelling of it is by default another one than the original
My older brother named his son "Morty", after the titular character of Rick and Morty. I have nothing against the show or anyone who watches it, but... C'mon, man.
Brandy, Crystal or anything else that suggests your baby is named after your drug of choice.
Two kids at an office in LA many years ago... Axyl and Gunner.
A friend named her two boys Nicolas and Cage. Yes it was on purpose. He was her favorite actor.
I found out a long while after we broke up that my ex had named a kid 'Zebedee'. I think that counts as child abuse.
Im going to chip in with my own: Anyone who decides its okay to name their child after something you'd find in a fruit bowl.
Names like Moon, Hope, Star, Flower... I knew someone who's children are Star, Moon and Sky. Ugh.
If your native language is Spanish any name of English origin (Steven, John, Bryan, Kevin, Etc), they are often associated with criminals.
In am so happy about the regulation of names in Germany. They have to be gender specific and have to be normal enough that the kid don't have to suffer.
It's good that only normal names are allowed. The gender specific part I am not too sure about. Fr example, I know a person who was born with male and female genitals and was named Robin. Because that way they could sort out later if male or female. Robin decided not to choose and the name still fits.
Load More Replies...I worked with a woman who's first name was Jenatul. Yes, it's pronounced exactly as you think it is. No, she didn't go by Jen. Used that full name and was proud of it.
In am so happy about the regulation of names in Germany. They have to be gender specific and have to be normal enough that the kid don't have to suffer.
It's good that only normal names are allowed. The gender specific part I am not too sure about. Fr example, I know a person who was born with male and female genitals and was named Robin. Because that way they could sort out later if male or female. Robin decided not to choose and the name still fits.
Load More Replies...I worked with a woman who's first name was Jenatul. Yes, it's pronounced exactly as you think it is. No, she didn't go by Jen. Used that full name and was proud of it.