If age is just a number, then a prison cell is just a room. When they say that hangovers get worse after your mid-twenties, they're not lying. Because, heck, they do, and a few bevvies can take a day to recover and two pills of Ibuprofen to get that clapping monkey with cymbals out of one's head.
Do you know what is even less fun? Turning 30. By 30, you're expected to have a house, two children and to have seen the Taj Mahal. Oh, and about 50 grand in your savings account. I know you've come here to read jokes about turning 30, but turning 30 is a joke in itself.
Okay, okay, it's not THAT bad. Well, perhaps your knees and back don't feel like they were when you were 18, but yakno, it's bearable. So whether you're looking for turning 30 jokes, funny birthday puns for a friend who's turning 30 soon, or just want to laugh at yourself, you've come to the right place.
Below, we've compiled a lengthy list of 30th birthday jokes, jokes about getting old(er), and just witty adult jokes. Take a look at the funny jokes we have gathered, and let us know if any made you crack a smile! And show off those pearly whites more often while you still have them *winking face*.
P.S. if you're looking for funny birthday wishes, we got you covered!
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"I’m 30, but I still feel like I’m 20 until I hang out with 20-year-olds. Then I’m like, no, never mind, I’m 30."
When I was younger I always hang out with the older crowd. Now that I'm a little older I find that I hang with the younger crowd.
" When someone says ‘10 years ago,’ I think about the 90s, not the 2013."
"Welcome to 30! From now on, if you get pregnant, people will assume you did it on purpose."
"As long you don't have kids your 30's are like your 20s but with money."
One day she noticed a gray hair in her bangs. She turned to her husband, pointed to her forehead, and said, 'Have you seen this?' 'What? You mean the wrinkles?'”
"Inside every 30-year-old is an 18-year-old asking, ‘What happened?’"
"Welcome to 30! The age when you should know better, but really don’t!"
"You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
"Me in my 20s: Secretaly hates everyone.
Me in my 30s: Publicly hates everyone."
Nope not true I'm 21 and publicly hate everyone.. haha have since I was 18 😂😂
"I finally reached the perfect age. Somewhere between 29 years and none of your business!"
I clearly remember my mother's 29th 29th birthday. That's when she quit giving 29 as her age...
"I'm oficially 'You look good for your age' years old."
Yep I hear this all the time hanging out with people younger than me. But at least I always get you look younger.
"The chanting of 'Shots!' sounds more threatening than exciting."
"How can you say we are old after 30? We just became women! Like anyone took us seriously in our 20s…"
To me it's more like "I am 35 and still want to ask an adult for advice."
"The clothes you wore as a teenager are now vintage. Hope you rock that vintage style."
"Turning 30? Age is just a number!"
" False: Age is a word." – Dwight Schrute
Respectfully, Mr. Shrute (whomever he is) is wrong... Age is an attitude.
"Your 30s – where if you don’t get 8 hours of sleep one night you’ll pay for it for a week."
"You’ll never be trusted by a teenager again. You’re officially too old to trust."
"It's 8:30 p.m. and you want to start a movie this late?"
I'm from Spain, 8.30 is full afternoon for us. we eat dinner at around 9.30/10pm and movies don't start until 10.30.. I often go to the UK and seeing them having dinner at 6, while I eat my mid afternoon snack, and changing into their pj's at 7 is always a shock to me. 11 years going at least twice a year, and I still can't get used to that. (don't get me wrong I absolutely love Britain and the brits, but our clocks will never be read the same 😅)
"Don’t worry about being 30. You’ll get over it within a decade."
"Your life might finally be together, but your body is falling apart."
"Season 30, episode 1."
"When you turn 21 you finally experience the freedom of full throttle. If you make it to 30, it means you’ve discovered there’s a brake pedal too."
"I'm not 30. I'm only $29.95 plus tax."
Lol nicely put. Problem is, the tax ends up being more than the price.
"Congratulations on reaching Level Thirty! You might want to save your progress - it gets waaaay harder from here."
"When you turn 30, a whole new thing happens: you see yourself acting like your parents."
"It's true — your body will start hurting in places you didn't know possible."
"I was thirty-two when I started cooking. Up until then, I just ate."
"Getting carded is a compliment. It used to be a nuisance. Now it might as well be a pickup line."
"You’re not like a regular 30 year old… you’re a cool 30 year old."
"I remember the good old days when I was 30, and all my kids were shorter than me." - Melanie White
"‘You’re still a rockstar,’ I whisper to myself as I take my multivitamin and climb into bed at 21:45."
"In your 20s, you learned a lot, grew as a person, and had tons of fun. Now in 30s keep that stuff up."
"After your 30th birthday, you are officially closer to 40 than you are to 20."
"Turning 30? The good news is you can now afford the $10 bottle of wine."
The only upgrade I made was from Boone's farm 2.99 a bottle to Asti splemonte 8.99 a bottle.
"Being 30 isn’t so bad. At least your car insurance premiums go down."
"Turning 30? Look on the bright side. You’re still too young to be president."
"The countdown to your mid-life crisis has officially begun."
"At 30 you finally start to catch up on those dreams you’ve been chasing for the last 10 years."
"30 is that age where your mind still thinks you're 29, your humor suggests you're 12 while your body mostly keeps asking if you're sure you're not dead yet."
"People are like, ‘I’m engaged!’ ‘I’m getting married!’ and I’m like, ‘Damn, I’m turning 30!’"
"Vintage 1992, aged to perfection."
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
-Lucy whatever her last name is… Lol I saw that in my grandmas kitchen
"One good thing about turning 30: you’re not turning 40."
"Too old for TikTok, too young for Life Alert."
"The epitaphs on tombstones of a great many people should read: died at thirty, and buried at sixty."
"Congratulations, you now have 30 excuses to let someone younger than you lift something heavy."
Wait until you're, like, 65 or so and allow the supermarket grocery bagger to "help you to your car" ... Whimper ...
"Time and tide wait for no one, but time always stops for a woman of thirty."
Yes because women over thirty are of less worth than a woman of 25???? And why women???
"Happy 30th Birthday, only 35 more years of working, and you can retire."
"Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway!"
"I wanted to get you a birthday cake, but I couldn’t afford that many candles!"
"Nothing changes when you cross thirty, except that you have to replace your moisturizer with anti-aging cream."
"You’re turning 29 again?! You freak of nature."
"Relax, your 30s are just like your 20s, except you look 10 years older, and everything is a little less fun."
"Turning thirty is the moment when you are old enough to understand life’s bigger responsibilities but young enough to shirk some of them while you still can."
"After turned 30 you not feel any different now that I am 30 years old, maybe a little bit more breathless after turning off all my candles."
The sound you make after drinking whiskey at 22: “Gackerbleck.”
The sound you make after drinking whiskey at 30: “Mmmmm, sweet, sweet, nectar of the gods.”
"Stop worrying about your age. There will be many other problems to worry about in life after you turn thirty."
"Thirties? More like the 'hurties.' Strange little pains that somehow invade your knees, back and occasionally your digestive system. They seem to be immune to prayer and wishful thinking."
"You are now an official mature and responsible adult. This means you also have to start acting like one."
"Have fun waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to drop your kids off at school, unless you tell them to take the bus – in that case, have fun sleeping in and feeling guilty!"
"Have fun on your birthday, but don’t get too crazy. Remember that you can’t blame your irresponsible behavior on “being in your 20s” anymore."
"Life turned 30 is less about knowing how old you are and more about believing how young you feel."
"There used to be a show called '30 Something' and if you can remember it, you’re beyond it."
"When you were 24, you didn’t even get to the bar until 11 p.m. Now, you’re in bed and asleep before the monologue on SNL."
"The only thing a line in front of a bar means is that there’s a large crowd inside. And you don’t do crowds anymore."
"Gone are the days of having to hear about what you did on Saturday night from another person."
"You wouldn’t be caught dead alone at a bar in your 20s. But now, it’s the ultimate luxury. Just you, a drink, and then another drink."
"Night sweats and hot flashes are nature's way of lowering your heating bill so you can save more money for your retirement."
"You develop a safe drinking strategy on nights out."
"Ugh. Your thirties… Where your friends from high school don’t invite you to their kids birthday parties anymore."
"Don’t feel down. 30 years old is only 120 months older than 20, and it’s going to be almost the same – just subtract 90% of the fun."
"Don’t worry about turning 30. You can say you’re 29 for several more years, and people will believe it!"
"Don’t think of it as turning 30. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your 20th birthday."
"Forget parties, gym memberships, and makeup. It’s time to spend all your money on cats, dogs and children!"
"Wow, you’re 30 now. There’s no better time in your life to celebrate with friends or family… except if you’re 29 or younger."
"If you start drinking at 1 p.m., you best believe you’re on the couch watching Friends reruns with a family-sized bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos by 7."
"Happy 29 + 1th! But seriously, you're going to have to come to terms with this eventually."
"The good thing about turning 30 is if you don't want to do something, you can say, 'I'm too old to do that!'"
"Turning 30 is as easy as jumping rope… If the rope were covered in hard metal spikes, you were barefoot, and the ground was covered in hot lava."
"In dog years, you’d be getting closer to your death."
No. Dogs age differently. For example, if a person was 4, a Dachshund would only be 32. They can live to be 16. That means age 80 in dog years. So, a human aged 30 can still be young in dog years. If you calculate considering a very large breed then this statement would be accurate.
I'm 34 and I actually like this era in my life. Old enough to be invisible to predators, old enough to get better job offers etc. I like my appearance better too, more character. And I definitely start to care a lot less about what others think = less anxiety. All that but still considered "young enough" to have life ahead (even though years go by faster...). Overall pretty cool.
I agree. The amount of growth and self-love I've gained now compared to ten years ago, I love this point in my life.
Load More Replies...
30 years old is age, where you don't feel anydifferent from your twenties, but everyone is trying to suck the joy from your life, because "yOu sHouLd aCT yOuR aGe".
The Bored Panda staff member has a fine photo but it was annoying to look at it 119 times.
I'm 34 and I actually like this era in my life. Old enough to be invisible to predators, old enough to get better job offers etc. I like my appearance better too, more character. And I definitely start to care a lot less about what others think = less anxiety. All that but still considered "young enough" to have life ahead (even though years go by faster...). Overall pretty cool.
I agree. The amount of growth and self-love I've gained now compared to ten years ago, I love this point in my life.
Load More Replies... 30 years old is age, where you don't feel anydifferent from your twenties, but everyone is trying to suck the joy from your life, because "yOu sHouLd aCT yOuR aGe".
The Bored Panda staff member has a fine photo but it was annoying to look at it 119 times.
