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The grass is always greener on the other side. But if you spend your entire life trying to reach that other side, will you suddenly be happy once you get there? Or will you be filled with disappointment? 

Redditors have recently been discussing things that people often think they want until they actually get them. This could be a huge house, their dream job, children, the opportunity to move abroad or anything else that many people fantasize about. But the reality is that we're all different, and these things simply might not actually be for you. Enjoy scrolling through this list of items and opportunities you might assume you want too, and be sure to upvote the ones that you wish more people would be honest about.

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#1

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It As a tween, it was my period. The novelty of "becoming a woman" immediately evaporated.

Manifest_something , Annika Gordon Report

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Tamra
Tamra
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, the joy of passing that milestone was short-lived. "I'm a woman now! Oh...wait."

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#2

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Kids


I think most people are not prepared even if they love their kids. The majority of parents suffer and so do the kids. 




I guess being in education I see first hand lots of parents who should not have had kids. .

Homotopy_Type , Kristina Paukshtite Report

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#3

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A (really) big house. There is so much maintenance, expense, just keeping track of all your stuff… higher utility bills, more taxes, probably an HOA, just cleaning it is an impossible task without hiring professionals.

TemperatureTop246 , Ksenia Balandina Report

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Nicole Weymann
Nicole Weymann
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But then if you BOUGHT that really big house (as opposed to inheriting, it) you likely have the money to pay people to do what you don't want to do.

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#4

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It To be older.

wtwtcgw , Pavel Danilyuk Report

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#5

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A high paying job. Making good money is enticing but when your work starts to consume your life and deteriorate your mental health, the money isn’t worth it anymore.

Berbigs_ , energepic.com Report

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Polterbean
Polterbean
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why I got a high paying job with less mental health impact and more work life balance

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#6

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Leaving their significant other for someone else only for that person not to be all that good.

sourkid25 , RDNE Stock project Report

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#7

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Brexit.

srslywatsthepoint , Lina Kivaka Report

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James016
James016
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was never going to be a good thing. In fact it has been a complete s**t show.

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#8

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Retirement. My dad bought a house on a small, quiet island when he retired. Some people can only dream of doing something like that.

3 months into it he realised he was bored as f**k. All he does is watch tv all day now. He's miserable on that island.

Soft_Hospital_4938 , Pixabay Report

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Petunia Petal
Petunia Petal
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Assuming he's fit and well, trying some new hobbies might help? Or come out of retirement and go back to work?

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#9

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Myself included on this one— but I know many people that have certain kinks/fetishes they’ve always wanted to try, and totally did *not* enjoy it once it became a reality.

PermaBanTogether , Anna Shvets Report

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TotallyNOTAFox
TotallyNOTAFox
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fiction is always more exciting than reallity

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Mary Lou
Mary Lou
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's not so much the exitement, but the fact that: - you are in total control of your fantasy (however submissive you imagine yourself) and the other person will always act just right - IRL knees hurt, things itch and in general don't feel as sexy as in fantasy

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Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sex in general for me. High sex drive but the act does nothing for me I'm frustrated beyond belief.

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Captain McSmoot
Captain McSmoot
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why people should explore. With some things, you'll never know until you try.

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Eiryn Elliott
Eiryn Elliott
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can blame this mostly on porn, which gives a VERY skewed image of what kink actually is. Also, it's not lived, it's fantasy, which of course is something completely in the control of the person's mind. I'm a hard core kinkster and deal with newbies (cis men) that always have unrealistic expectations of kink.

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David
David
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One girlfriend wanted me to spank her. It was just a one time thing. I tried to comply but was super not into it. And another time (years apart) a different woman wanted me to talk dirty to her. Which for her was basically trash talking her. I just couldn't. I'm really not into 'romance' where I'm being abusive to my partner.

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Bexxperience
Bexxperience
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

On the other hand, just go for it. There's only one way to find out if you're actually into it. It's the stigma connected especially with kinks and sexual fetishes and the fear of consequences of being found out and as a result NOT trying those things that is making a lot of people unhappy or downright miserable. "Don't kinkshame" should become a general rule. You want to try something, you do it, you don't like it? Well, don't do it again then. Or change what you didn't particularly enjoy about it and maybe try again. Or don't. But supressing those curiousities isn't that great either long term.

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LittleTeapot
LittleTeapot
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s a psychologically recognized part of our desires/sexuality that we can desire something as a fantasy that we would never be able to replicate to the same effect in reality. It’s the benefit of essentially playing all roles when it’s all in your own head!

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Michael Brown
Michael Brown
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6 months ago

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Hi little Teapot,very well said...my fantasy is masterbation in a public place and someone watches me and doesn't mind and in fact watches closely....til I finish and makes her so excited she says so to me....then I'll take her to a secluded place and go down on her and use my mouth tongue and fingers to satisfy her til finish in return for her watching my big fantasy kink...she finishes with gushing river🤪😜🥵🔥😝😵👿👄💯

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DC
DC
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When those awful movies were in the cinemas ... everybody was oh-so kinky, and into something they saw there, and they needed to discuss that everywhere. So edgy.

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Alyssa Phillips
Alyssa Phillips
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was on the fence with that. I totally agree the movies were abysmal. BUT it made lifestyle choices less taboo. BUT so many people started showing up to parties and getting mad at the reality. BUT some people really found their niche. Conundrum.

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LAWLAWLAW
LAWLAWLAW
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The orgy I went to was actually better than I was expecting

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Definitely a Human
Definitely a Human
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6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you tried it once and didn't like it, then you never actually had that fetish or kink.

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#10

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It To get back with an ex.

toketsukuromu , Pixabay Report

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#11

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Their dreams fulfilled.

I was watching "Soul" and it hit hard when he finally got what he'd been chasing forever and ended up with a serious case of... "now what?"

Edit: Wow, so many people seem to have resonated with this, what I dubbed "the tragedy of the dream fulfilled". Many of you commiserate, others gave good advice.

I wish all of you the best on your journeys.

Earnestappostate , Spencer Selover Report

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Praea Kitten
Praea Kitten
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My favorite curse to lay upon people is, "may you receive everything you've ever wanted, desired, and dreamed right at the moment you realize you no longer want them." It's the meanest thing I can think of that isn't life altering

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#12

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Living in Hawaii. The number of people that I know that dream of living here have no idea. I've lived here for 2 years and can't wait to leave.

finsup_305 , Luke McKeown Report

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Tamra
Tamra
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hm, more info would be good on this one. I wonder if it's the tourist trade that's causing the problem, or maybe cost of living?

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#13

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It An affair. People fantasize, sure - having problems with your spouse or feeling unappreciated? Marriage counseling, divorce, etc. All better options than infidelity. It's leaves lasting scars and tears apart families. Over the last several years I feel like I've seen such an increasing number of families destroyed.

I know one husband that went off to the oil fields because his wife requested he find a better job. Dude is gone 6 months of the year (in two month increments). Wife starts feeling lonely and unappreciated and has an affair with a co worker. It's taken four years for one of her kids to even talk to her again. Bad blood everywhere. Marriage counseling, communication, even a divorce if it was needed all could have avoided the situation.

Another example: One of my co-workers was told by his wife "I've had an affair, it's been going on for a month." He decides to forgive, go to marriage counseling, fix whatever was broken. Well she continues to have an affair because she's still having something of an existential crisis and is feeling extra condemened for her actions. Basically she told him she was having an affair at the beginning of what turned into a year long ordeal. She started the affair while pregnant. Two young kids already in the house. Her husband is still in the mindset of fixing whatever is broken. I watched this dude get dragged through the mud for a year. He's got severe PTSD now. Is a shell of who he used to be.

Affairs are basically a hand grenade in your life and everyone around you.

YouAreRegard , jurien huggins Report

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censorshipsucks
censorshipsucks
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's a f*****g disaster and you end up hankering after that person even when you put them out your life, and it f***s up your marriage forever. Do not recommend at all.

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#14

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Being in a boss or leadership position. The pay is nice but the amount of pointless b******t is just ridiculous. Bosses have bosses and basically I'm just a messenger letting my employees know how their job is going to suck more...for absolutely nothing in return. Which they blame me for. There are better ways to make way more money for being hated....

OnlyTheBLars89 , Lukas Report

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linda harbin
linda harbin
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love being a manager. I model myself after my manager who is one of the most trustworthy, kind and fair people in my life. She always has my back, listens when I have a gripe (even if its about her) and seeks to create and maintain harmony with her staff. In turn, I treat my staff likewise. Best job ever! I’ve been a manager there for 26 years, and my manager for 29.

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#15

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Being a business owner. Everyone thinks you just make your own hours and work whenever you want. Id trade it all to clock out at 5pm.

Someuser1130 , Craig Adderley Report

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clairebear
clairebear
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister and husband had a small business. Struggled for years and years on the breadline. Would have sunk many times without family helping out. Called it a dayl and got a call centre job working from home. Never been happier. Husband is a house husband and loving it.

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#16

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Fame.

Romnonaldao , Brett Sayles Report

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devotedtodreams
devotedtodreams
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A golden cage I never wanted to get locked in. Glad I'm both too ugly and too untalented to ever get famous!

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#17

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It An open relationship.

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censorshipsucks
censorshipsucks
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is a disaster. Do not do it. Source: me and a friend of mine who also tried it. Jealousy is real, and you are human, and you are not above jealousy.

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#18

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Is mental illness one? I feel like everyone is self diagnosing using webmd as a checklist and now everyone is saying they have something but it’s nothing as debilitating as real mental illnesses.

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Tamra
Tamra
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who the hell would actually want a mental illness?? Someone who's never truly had one, that's who.

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#19

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It When I was a kid I really wanted a cast or crutches. Yeah, really not a good idea.

bickel89 , Alessia Marzotto Report

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Ken Beattie
Ken Beattie
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6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the cast thing stems from seeing other classmates get tons of friends signing the cast. It's like visible confirmation that all those people like you. Maybe a little envy at the sympathy and extra special treatment they get too.

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#20

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Living off grid. Boats. Livestock other than goats or chickens.

Pando5280 , Annie Spratt Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
DennyS (denzoren)
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't mind living of the grid but I need the internet lol also chickens aren't so bad, just don't like let them loose, got to contain them and they're not bad.

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#21

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A boat, so my dad was given this great job and he bought a boat. Everyone was so hyped. Now I occasionally host parties on it, my dad ocationally goes to swim and only uses the boat as a dock and that's about it, no one uses the boat and the parking spot and maintenance costs are not cheap.

Technical-Use750 , Alina Kacharho Report

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Tim Gearing
Tim Gearing
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What’s better than owning a boat? Having a friend that owns one.

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#22

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A pool. Unless you have a lot more money lol.

Majestic_Living7321 , Jubéo Hernandez Report

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#23

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It To elect a non-politician to political office.

Ozzel , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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censorshipsucks
censorshipsucks
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

nah you must elect someone who is competent in the relevant area, e.g. an academic to the education ministry, an engineer to the public works ministry, etc.

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#24

Sex in a pool or hot tub.

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#25

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It To be in charge.

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#26

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A “crazy” gf. yeah it’s all fun and game until i’m messaging you in detail abt how i just hurt myself expecting you to not care. bpd and other “crazy” disorders aren’t cute. stop romanticizing it.

honey_society69 , Odonata Wellnesscenter Report

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Robot Doctor
Robot Doctor
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who wants a crazy gf? Never heard this one. It's usually the opposite.

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#27

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It Hookups. On the 100th hookup, I assure you, your balls won't be the only thing empty. You'll realize that what you're really after is the warm embrace of someone to share intimacy with.

Outrageous-Neat-8266 , Castorly Stock Report

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censorshipsucks
censorshipsucks
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm yes and no. Personally as someone who is totally ok with their own company I don't think this is true for everyone.

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#28

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A private jet. unless you fly extremely frequently the cost of maintenance outweighs any pros.

Dazzling_Page_710 , Katie Cerami Report

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RosenCranzLives
RosenCranzLives
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only billionaire I ever met just chartered jets whenever he needed one. Which was maybe once or twice a month.

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#29

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It The chance to meet a hero.

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Ken Beattie
Ken Beattie
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is another yes and no one. It (a) depends on who your hero is, and (b) depends whether you strike them on a good day. There are some people who are apparently wholesome and amazing pretty much no matter what. So getting a chance to meet someone like that? Absolutely!

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#30

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A nympho partner.

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Katie Lutesinger
Katie Lutesinger
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read an interview with a genuine nymphomaniac and she was indeed having ridiculous amounts of sex. She was also completely miserable and her life was a disaster. Just because you're having sex that doesn't necessarily mean you're *enjoying* it. Plus it must be SO goddamn exhausting. And painful.

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#31

I thought I really wanted my belly button pierced but it was annoying and always irritated from my pants etc so it didn’t last and left a scar.

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ElfVibratorGlitter
ElfVibratorGlitter
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got one as moral support when my friend got her nose pierced. Then it got infected and I couldn't take it out for months. And here we are 15 years later. Never took it out.

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#32

Exercise equipment.

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My NegaJay
My NegaJay
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you actually use it, it's great. Half my garage is a gym and I'm in the best shape ever. No gym memberships or awkwardly working out in front of other people.

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#33

A puppy. They're not just cute they're a pain in the a*s.

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Ken Beattie
Ken Beattie
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know what, this is one that will never be bad for me. It's absolutely 100% worth the pain in the a*s value for the benefits a puppy brings.

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#34

For anybody who wants to homestead/live self sustainable: skip Cornish Cross Chickens. Short of industrial food production they’re not worth the hassle. They’re not gonna live long enough to reproduce so their not actually self sustainable, buying them is always a hassle and chances are 25%-40% are gonna be dead on delivery because they don’t do well in the mail. They’ll s**t more than you can imagine so you have to build a chicken tractor or shovel an entire coop 3-4 times a week to keep them healthy. Finally your gonna end up butchering all of them within about a week so most of them will end up in the freezer, and personally, after spending two and a half days butchering and defeathering the smelliest, nastiest, fattest chickens, I’ve ever seen I wasn’t in the mood for chicken for a hot minute.

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Nicole Weymann
Nicole Weymann
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pets, livestock, cars, vacations, houses...: whatever time and money consuming thing you want to get, you better educate yourself beforehand. If you WANT chickens, read up on breeds and needs, just as you should/would when looking for a dog 🤷

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#35

McDonald's. It's so incredibly mid, at the same time it's getting more and more expensive.

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#36

Being recognized by strangers in public.

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#37

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It An overly attractive SO

You need to be overly attractive yourself or have rock solid self esteem to watch them get hit on or flirted with by the whole planet everytime you leave the house.

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Donkey boi
Donkey boi
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not even about self esteem, it's about trust. People hit on my wife all the time, she politely brushes them off. I know she'll always do that, so it doesn't bother me. It does p**s me off when men hit on her while I'm there, but that's just because it rude & disrespectful. The self esteem part is where I take it as a compliment; That she's chosen me when so many other people obviously want her.

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#38

Job.

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Petunia Petal
Petunia Petal
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hell yeah! I miss the sweet lack of responsibility of being a child!

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#39

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A pool table.

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Ken Beattie
Ken Beattie
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you've got the room they're great. They're not high maintenance like a swimming pool. They just take up a bunch of space. Seen some cool designs where they can double as a regular table when you're not playing too.

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#40

“Living In Hawaii”: 30 Things People Dream Of Until They Actually Get It A real goth girlfriend.

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UncleJohn3000
UncleJohn3000
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6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've always been fascinated by the 'Goth problem.' The goal of the clothes, accoutrements, and make up is to show how little you care, but we all know it took hours to dress like you don't care.

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#41

In my opinion, true online privacy. After installing Linux, using proton mail, creating over 20 fake emails and such, and a bunch of other stuff it kinda sucks. Like I will never go back, but I spend like $140 bucks a year on services to make sure I can not be tracked online, and the user experience is worse than just using windows and having a jolly good day. I personally can deal with it, and I am now a Linux Mint user. But most people would not want, nor be able to understand how to switch to different programs or how to use them. Add that it takes money that most people would rather spend on other stuff, and overall most people will never make the switch.

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#42

Whatever the new shiny is in some battle pass.

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