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Being of somewhat abbreviated stature myself, I know firsthand the constant giggles and short people jokes that come with it.
Sure, I can’t reach the top shelf (ha-ha), and yes, I probably could fit in a shoebox, but those are exactly the kind of jokes about being short we’ve learned to embrace.
Because honestly, being short is a blessing in disguise. We can stretch our legs on flights, wear cheaper kid-sized clothes, and fit into places the tall folks only dream of. And if you ever doubted the humor potential, our collection of the funniest short person jokes proves otherwise.
Of course, we’ve also rounded up a few clever roasts from the tall camp; tall people problems are real, too!
And if you’re just here for a laugh, check out our adult jokes, dirty jokes, or explore the wild world of Ask Reddit’s funniest moments.
So scroll down and enjoy the best jokes about short people we could find, because height might be small, but humor sure isn’t.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Short People Problems
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
Lol. It actually makes my day when somebody asks me to hand them something from a tall shelf in the grocery store. Not happy they can't reach, just happy to help.
RELATED:
#2
"God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others!" – Short People
What is the History of Roasts?
Well, you know, it went probably like this – someone got bored with eating raw meat and decided to hold it for a while over a fire... Oh, wait, we’re not talking about those kinds of roasts, are we?
For the other kinds of roasts, the comedic ones, their history is documented much better, and you’ll be happy to know that the first official roast took place as early as 1949 at the New York Friars Club.
You’ll also be glad to know that the form of a good old comedic roast hasn’t changed much since, and same as it was back then, it is still about a specific individual taking jokes at their own expense for the amusement of a wider audience. The only change these roasts took over the years is that they’re no longer confined to clubs or venues but can be easily done on the Internet. Case in point: the legendary roasts by Wendy’s, we’re sure you remember.
That said, roasts of the yesteryear used to be much harsher than they are these days, and that’s a much-welcomed change! Just take a look at the roasts for short people on this list and see how innocent and kind they really are.
#3
I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
#4
I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself “How could someone stoop so low?”
When do Short People don’t Like Jokes?
Like tall people, short people usually don’t mind lighthearted, well-meaning jokes and might even make such a quip about themselves. However, there definitely are some instances when individuals might not like jokes about short people, such as:
The joke is disrespectful. If you’re about to make short person jokes, make sure they’re harmless and well-meaning. After all, a joke is to make people laugh rather than offend them.
When the jokes turn into insults for short people, funny roasts for short people always balance on a thin line of becoming insulting. Know the difference between a roast and an insult before you share one publicly.
Sensitive topics. If a person is clearly insecure because of their height, you might wish to abstain from trying to amuse them with jokes about short people altogether. Better safe and sorry!
A good rule of thumb about these roasts for short people would be this: would you find it funny if one of these jokes were addressed to you? If the answer is yes, you’re probably safe to share your ingenious quip!
#6
Small Gestures Matter
Appreciate the little things.
Give a short person a hug.
What are Some Good Short People Jokes and Insults?
Since we’ve already discussed what kind of short people jokes might not be really appropriate, it is probably time to figure out which short person jokes could actually be called good. Thankfully, our readers were kind enough to vote for the jokes they enjoyed the most, and here are the top five based on their opinions:
- You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
- "God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others!" – Short People
- I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
- I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself “How could someone stoop so low?”
- “Keep looking up.” – Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.
And if you were looking for something a bit spicier, like jokes for short girlfriend or funny insults, our readers have also voted on the best ones, too:
- Appreciate the little things. Give a short person a hug.
- How do short people greet others? They microwave.
- The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
- You're so short when it rains; you are the last one to know.
- I hope the next stage of your life comes with a ladder.
There you have it, the very best jokes and roasts for short people as voted by you. And if you’d like a bit more of this hilarity in your day, keep reading these short people jokes!
#7
“Keep looking up.” – Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.
#8
Tall vs. Short Tall People: "I'm somewhere around 6 feet." Short People: "I'm 5 feet and 5.756432841 inches."
#9
Just played miniature golf with a short person, but he just called it golf.
#10
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
💡 See Also:
#11
Still Growing Mentally
"Are you okay?"
"No."
"My height hasn’t changed since I was 12."
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
Neither has mine...I've been 5'2" since I was 12 lol. I love being short...it's never bothered me. Especially on airplanes
#12
Your so short when it rains; you are the last one to know.
#14
Sometimes when I look at short people I wonder. If they’re able to reach their goals.
#15
Heightened Humor Ahead
It's easy to make fun of short people... The jokes always go over their head.
PaigetheBookCat 3 years ago
you mean it's easy to call them short and they don't take offense cuz it's true
#17
At least one advantage of being small is getting to be in front in all pictures every time.
#18
I asked a short person to lend me 5 dollars yesterday. He said, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”
#19
Where is the worst place for a short person to stand at a concert? Behind anyone at all.
Miss Frankfurter 3 years ago
Or in the movie theater where there are plenty of seats but the tallest person in the theater sits in front of you. No, sitting right down front makes me nauseous.
#21
Compact and Efficient
It’s not that I am short, I simply have a built for speed and accuracy.
#22
I love short people. They’re more down to earth.
#23
Being the same height, shoe, and clothing size for the rest of your life since you were in 6th grade.
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Yes! Except my feet grew 1/2 a size for each pregnancy. I’m now a gigantic size 5 1/2. Trying to find “ grown- up lady” shoes is fun. Or sneakers without sparkles, Velcro or Barbie.
#24
You're so short that Michaelangelo could make a life size sculpture of you with 1 can of play-dough.
#25
You know you are short when your shoelaces hit you in the head.
#26
I’m not saying short people are inferior but I do look down on them.
#28
Dessert with a Twist
What is a short person’s favorite dessert?
Strawberry Short Cake.
#29
Short people are always sad because they can never reach happiness.
#30
You look like you still have a lot of growing up to do.
#31
You shouldn’t make fun of short people because it’s a little person too. I mean a little too personal.
#32
What did the nurse say to the short person in the hospital waiting room? You are just going to have to be a little patient.
#33
Bet You Didn’t See That One Coming
You’ve got to hand it to short people… Well they can’t reach for themselves, can they?
#34
Does anyone know the PC term for short people? Or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature?
#35
My dad was short person but I still could never beat him in a running race. No matter how fast I ran, he was always a little father ahead.
#39
What are short people??? Short people are the future. They consume less food, use less car fuel & more of them fit on the Earth.
François Carré 3 years ago
Which led to that amazing movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCrBICYM0yM
#41
Who Comes Up With These, Seriously?
Why do short people love shoe stores? The mirrors are the perfect height.
#43
Why did the short guy buy the house with the water fountain? Because he’s always wanted to own a swimming pool.
#44
Attack on Titan is actually slice of life for short people.
#45
I wonder how the weather is down there.
Ellen Ranks 3 years ago
Argh! I got the reverse of that one soo many times when I was young.... I was 5.11 or so
#46
Did you hear the story about the short person who was climbing down the prison wall? It is a little con descending.
#47
We’re Not Done Yet!
I was walking to dinner with my then boyfriend and I asked him if he liked the heels I was wearing. He said, "Yes now you're almost the size of a normal person."
#49
Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.
#50
My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people. It was just a little get together.
#51
My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up with me making fun of her height. So tonight I’m going to make it up to her. I’ve got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show. When she gets in from work I’m going to order her favorite takeaway which we’ll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs. Then afterward I’m going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
#55
Short people problem: because you are too short, the Sun visor doesn’t even work while you’re driving.
#58
Tall people and short people should never date. Long-distance relationships never work out.
#59
Have you ever noticed that short people have more role models than anyone else? It is because they are looking up to everyone.
#60
You know you are small if you think the people on the wedding cake are the actual bride and groom.
#61
Why was the short person stuck in the elevator? Because they could not reach the door open button.
#64
I tried to go into a short people nightclub last night. The bouncer stopped me on the door and said I couldn’t go in. I asked, “Why not?” He said, “Because you’re not on the shortlist.”
#66
Classic Or Cringe? You Decide
You know you’re short when you use an espresso cup as a regular coffee mug.
#74
That’s One Way To Look At It
I met this really short baker called Peter the other day. He was telling me all about baking flatbreads. It was fascinating. I love the Pita patter of tiny Pete.
#78
Why did the short person get fired from his job at the restaurant? The authorities found out he was being paid under the table.
#83
Short people tend to get angry quickly because they are so close to the ground their anger does not dissipate quickly.
#85
How does it feel playing with taller teammates or opponents in sports? It comes with significant challenges and advantages as well.
#86
Tiny Joke, Huge Energy
Why did the short guy fall asleep in his harness and helmet? Because he was tired from climbing into bed.
#87
They are so small, when they sit on the curb, their feet swing back and forth.
#88
Have you heard about those self-driving cars? It turns out it was just a bunch of short people driving around.
#90
Did you hear about the short person who escaped from jail? He’s a small medium who’s at large.
#93
I’ve just seen a short person buying a packet of water balloons. Someone’s getting lucky tonight.
#97
Why did the short person bring a parachute to the bar? So they could get down from the barstool.
#101
My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people.
James Heinle 2 years ago
Was it a small get together? This doesn't make sense without the punchline from above.
#103
You are so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool, because they’re scared you’ll drown in the kiddie pool.
#105
I read a headline that said “short people are less intelligent than taller people” That can’t be true. Einstein was 5’7″ and Stephen Hawkin was 3’5″.
#106
Is It Still Funny? Yes, Yes It Is
What do short people call something that’s too high up? Absolute zero, because it’s impossible to reach.
#107
Short people shouldn’t hate short jokes. We’re just complaining that we need more of them.
#115
Stretch Your Legs For The Next One
Why is a short person called a paragraph? Because he is too short to be an ese.
#117
Short girl: "How do you see up there?" Tall guy: "Who said that?" I spit my drink out and then ran away.
#125
I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself, how could someone stoop so low?
#129
I saw a really short guy walking to catch a bus today. When he saw it coming down the road he broke into a jog. It was getting closer and he still wasn’t at the bus stop so started sprinting but it drove off before he got there. It was too little too late.
#131
“Jump in and I’ll take you home,” I said to my really short neighbor who was sat at the bus stop. “Get lost!” he said. I said, “Ok, suit yourself,” as I straightened up my rucksack and carried on with my walk.
#133
Keep Scrolling, It Only Gets Better
How do short people go shopping for pants? They buy shorts.
#134
What 3 things does a short person need to take a bath? Floaties, a snorkel, and a lifeguard.
#142
Stop making jokes on short people. It’s not funny if the person getting trolled can’t enjoy it. After all, most of the jokes go way over their heads.
#144
I met a short person once, my conversation with her was extremely awkward. I am not very good when it comes to small talk.
#146
I have a lot of respect for the short people in my community. I feel it would be really wrong to look down on them.
#148
I got told off today for making a joke about a short person. It was over something small though.
#149
Two tall guys walk into a bar. Why didn’t the short guy walk into the bar too? He walked under it.
#151
Thinking you were average height until you started high school, and everyone other than you kept growing.
#152
Why do short people always have food in their teeth? Because they cannot pick up a toothpick.
What do you think ?
François Carré 3 years ago
There are no short or tall people. Your legs are always the right length if your feet touch the ground.
François Carré 3 years ago
There are no short or tall people. Your legs are always the right length if your feet touch the ground.
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