50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online
Interview With Author
We’ve all been there — times we said something so dumb, we wished the ground would just swallow us up. After all, even the brightest of us are not immune to making mistakes as they are an inevitable part of human nature. Just think of all the naive hopes, faulty assumptions, and plain wrong opinions we carry with us throughout our lives without questioning — everyone is bound to have their brain.exe stopped working moments.
So a few months ago, Redditor Xlh883dragster decided to help us come to terms with our collective idiocy and show that blunders can strike us at any time. They reached out to fellow members of 'Ask Reddit' with a question: "What’s something you’ve heard someone say that was so incredibly, mind numbingly stupid that you’ll remember it the rest of your life?"
The thread immediately became a hit as hundreds of people offered a glimpse into other people’s embarrassing moments, both funny and relatable. Scroll down to enjoy reading through these entertaining responses, upvote your favorite ones, and be sure to tell us all about the stupidest things you’ve ever done in the comments! Then if you’re keen on even more stories of people acting silly, check out our earlier piece right here.
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Someone asked me how the guy that donated his heart to me was doing.
Friend: "I've always wondered how goats grow into deer in the wild but stay goats at the farm."
Me: "Ayo what the f**k?"
Friend: "I know, crazy, right? With ponies at least you can see them grow into horses but the goats??"
My wife's Grandmother was on her death bed in 2015, right around Christmas. I was scheduled to work that Christmas Eve... she took a turn for the worst that morning and I was told we'd all better get to the house quick. Tried to call my manager, no answer, left him a voicemail. I called the manager on duty and said I'm sorry it's just not happening today I have a family crisis. Duty manager said absolutely no problem. Called their manager too to ensure I covered all my bases. They both said take all the time you need. Was supposed to work the weekend after too. No problem, we'll get you covered. She died that Sunday.
Get back to work Tuesday. My own manager comes to my desk, he's pissed at me. Why didn't I show up for work those days? I told him the situation, told him I'd called everyone to ensure I was covered. His response? "Well, you should have planned that better". This is the only time I've ever seen my cube mate, this mild mannered Iranian I'd worked with for years, get upset. He leapt out of his seat, grabbed my manager by his arm and dragged him to his office. Apparently the shouting match went on for some time, I was too busy sitting at my desk with my jaw on the floor processing what he just said.
That manager was an a*****e. My coworker is one cool dude. I never got an apology, but I note he was fired for unrelated reasons a few months later so f**k him.
What is it with employers thinking that people should plan a death in the family to fit around the work schedule? I've seen several posts on several articles on BP where managment is berating an employee for not giving proper notice to use bereavement leave. Either they are utterly incompetent or an absolute a-hole,complete with swollen hemeroids, bleeding,festering pustules, and dingleberries hanging in profuse numbers.
We managed to get in touch with Redditor Xlh883dragster, Brad, who was kind enough to have a chat about his thread. When asked about what inspired him to start this conversation in the first place, he told Bored Panda he’s not 100% sure where it came from. "It was just one of those things that kind of materialize or occur randomly in your consciousness. However, I have been binge-watching (and re-watching) 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and 'Seinfeld' recently, so that could have had something to do with it."
Brad explained these popular sitcoms have put him in this weird frame of mind. "[It] has me thinking about ordinary day-to-day things that happen to me or random thoughts that streak through my mind in the context of 'Hey, that would have been a funny scene in Curb' or 'That would have been a hilarious Seinfeld character', followed by the respective theme song playing in my head," the Redditor added.
When asked about the avalanche of replies his thread received, Brad said it felt good to put something out there that many people connected to. "I definitely didn’t expect it to get the response that it did," he added. "But was pleasantly surprised (and slightly mortified at the thought of trying to read all of them) when I started to see hundreds and then thousands of replies flooding my inbox."
Banning abortion will stop abortions.
For anyone interested, please search on youtube for "Children of the Decree". It's a documentary that shows what actually happened in Romania when abortions were banned by the communist regime back in 1966. How many women died trying to get an illegal abortion. How many were mutilated and traumatized for life. How many children were abandoned in horrific orphanages, how many families were destroyed. Everyone should watch it, including the so-called "pro-lifers". It's here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgZJ-IV8Et0
It’s not even really anti-choice either. It’s pro-‘punishing women by every means necessary’. (I’m aware not just women can get pregnant, but the GOP doesn’t even acknowledge that either)
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I love when they hand out lists of the anti-abortion candidates at polling places...gives me a succinct list of who NOT to vote for...
Even if your argument is that it’s “killing an innocent human being,” would you rather have one innocent human being killed through safe abortion or two killed through unsafe abortion? And don’t say none, because not allowing someone an abortion doesn’t mean they won’t get one one way or another.
And you'd be shocked how often the choice really is between 1 death and 2 deaths. 1 in 8 pregnancies comes with a life-threatening comorbidity, and it's a testament to modern medicine that the lifetime mortality rate from childbearing is no longer 50%.
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Oh look a gaggle of forced birthers not providing health care, family funds, affordable housing, affordable daycare or anything else to support the forced birth. Sit down and eat some chicken with me, just let me crack them and beat them and scramble the chicken first.
We're going to see many many cases of women bleeding out from trying to have an abortion at home.
Doctor Coathanger should have been put out of practice decades ago. Now he's making a comeback.
Talk about being short-sighted and not thinking things through. Back street abortions are more likely to cause two deaths.
Banning abortions is about controlling women, not abortions. Us ladies were getting a little too free spirited. Doing silly things like enjoying sex knowing that if anything happens there's a 'plan b' (which they are also trying to ban), and if all else fails abortion. It's not a woman's right to her body, it's their right to our bodies.
That's why I kill pregnant women so they can't abort their children. /s
Yes, by making things illegal it protects society from people like those pictured.
The constitution does NOT mention anything about abortion. Abortion was legal at the time and absolutely NO big deal. Furthermore, abortion isn’t mentioned in the constitution because women as a whole weren’t even mentioned in the constitution. They weren’t even seen as people. People with uteruses are humans and they should be awarded the basic freedom of choosing what to do with their bodies. It should not be decided by the states once it was known that states would ban abortion straight away. Human rights trump “state rights” EVERY SINGLE TIME. America “land of the free” my a**e
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Banning assault weapons would go a long way in reducing mass shootings.
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Wrong comparison! Banning guns in the USA will reduce the gun violence to the level civilized countries have, not stop it completely, but which is still a thousand times better than having a few shootings a day happening on average.
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Substitute teacher told me the moon is bigger than the sun that's why it blocks the sun during an eciplse. Was in grade 4 I argued with her.
This one is actually quite sad. Uneducated people who become teachers
That Darwin was half right and that black people evolved from monkeys but white people were the descendants of Adam and Eve.
The same guy went on about what an idiot his heart doctor was because he was Indian. Yeah, that guy is dead from a heart attack now. Oh well.
As you’re scrolling through this list, you can’t help but feel entertained by the dumb things that inevitably leave our mouths. While it makes for some cringe-worthy material, we humans seem to always feel intrigued by these stories.
Brad shared a few reasons people are drawn to devour stupid things others overhear. "First is, it’s funny. I found myself laughing out loud at several of the quotes that were posted. Some were just absolutely hilarious. It’s the whole concept of Schadenfreude — laughing at others' misfortune. We do it because laughing makes us feel good."
The other explanation we enjoy reading about these moments is that it offers us comfort and makes us feel slightly better about our own embarrassing blunders. After all, they represent a certain universal truth — we all sometimes hold false hopes and wrong beliefs that are hilariously stupid. "It’s a little bit of a confidence boost, and also something you can relate to as a fellow traveler. Some people might think 'Thank god I’m not the only one who thought or said the same thing' or 'Whew, at least I know I’m not the dumbest person on Earth!'"
A flight was delayed due to snow on the runway, a woman complained saying “damn it this happens every year, why don’t they put a roof over the runway or something”.
One of my college roommates wandered in while we were watching JAWS. It’s the final 15 minutes. The shark is tearing the Orca apart. It comes to the scene where the shark heaves itself up on the stern, the roommate says,
“It’s pretty neat how they trained that shark to do that.”
Dear reader, he was serious.
How do dogs in China learn Chinese. He was under the assumption that dogs just naturally spoke English.
Moreover, these stories can "teach people that we all say a lot of dumb things, and may have incorrect or false beliefs, but it doesn’t mean you’re uneducated or stupid, and shouldn’t be labeled as such," Brad added.
"There’s a phrase I like, and that’s 'Common sense is learned'. No one was just born with common sense, it's not innate. It’s built through experiences and everyone’s are different, and we all followed a different path to get where we are today. So what’s common sense for one person isn’t necessarily for another."
New girl at work...she was horrified that we eat the eggs that come from our chickens. She insisted store bought were normal good eggs. She then really blew my mind when she said she doesn't eat chicken, so she only buys "hens". She about had a panic attack when I explained hen is just lady chicken. Very sheltered
I used to work as a paralegal and had to fight with Social Security when they accused my clients of fraud. Got on a call with an agent who insisted my client was faking the disability her daughter had. The daughter died of the disability and it says it on the death certificate. The agent told me it wasn't enough proof.
Sadly, this doesn't surprise me at all ... After several covid related strokes, heart attacks, organ failure, brain damage and now a diagnosis of early onset Alzheimer's, social security told my 52 year old friend he wasn't bad enough to warrant any help 😔
I had this friend I met for lunch once after not seeing her for a while. She said, "I never see you. I miss you." I told her that I've been working a lot and that I've worked 9 days straight. She goes, "HOW? THERE'S ONLY 7 DAYS IN A WEEK!".
Brad stressed that while these replies represent some hilariously painful things people voiced out loud, he guaranteed that many of them were said by intelligent people. "Just because someone says (or does, for that matter) something really dumb or absurd, doesn’t mean they are stupid or ignorant."
"My advice for anyone that made the list or has said things that still make them cringe and haunt their memories to this day is just to say — Welcome to the club! We all have our moments. Everyone’s brain farts. The smartest among us think, say, and do some really dumb things, so don’t ever let yourself or anyone else make you feel bad, stupid, or less than," Brad said.
A girl in my high school said that of she and her hypothetical husband had undesirable face features that they didn’t want to pass on to a child (like a bumpy nose) one of them would just plastic surgery before conceiving a child. When I said that with her logic if both me and my partner chopped off our index fingers our child would be born without index fingers. She said that wasn’t the same thing. We were 17 at the time. I still think about that, 18 years later.
When I was 17, I casually mentioned to one of the high school nurses that I didn't want to have kids until I was at least 25, and she told me that by the time I was 25 it would be "too late" to have my first baby and I should have two kids by the time I was 20. She then called the girl who got pregnant at the beginning of freshman year "the smartest girl in town" because she was the same age as me and on her third baby.
I remember it so well because it was the last time I ever saw her. She apparently told the other nurse about the conversation, and the other nurse was so revolted that she reported her to the school board, who then transferred her to the elementary school (which she then got fired from for calling a girl's clothes "slutty".)
Why the hell was she even posted in schools to begin with???!!! Sounds like she shouldn't even be a nurse to begin with, either!
My friend once turned around to me and said "i don't believe in oxygen".
While it looks like there's no limit to dumb things people end up saying aloud, it's also true to our brilliantly foolish actions. As Balazs Aczel, an associate professor at ELTE University in Budapest, and author of the study What is stupid?: People's conception of unintelligent behavior, explained to us in a previous interview, people use the label "stupid" for three very different types of actions.
"We call the first category 'confident ignorance'. In these actions, people's confidence tends to exceed what their skills or knowledge would allow," the professor told Bored Panda. "In other words, they think they know how to do risky things, and they do it. For example, they go bungee jumping with their home-made gear, such as a metal cord."
At KFC one woman was surprised to learn that Buffalo wings were made of chicken, she actually thought that buffaloes had wings.
Also, a couple of people thought that islands float.
My boyfriend's dad said the vaccine was full of aids and shards of glass.
"Breastfeeding your child is so gross! You're basically teaching it to have sex!"
Said by a 21 year old woman
The second type of "stupid" happens due to absentmindedness. In this case, people have sufficient knowledge to act rationally, except they don't monitor their actions. "Whenever we turn into auto-pilot, we risk doing something very irrational. A good example is a professor who was so engaged in a deep conversation with his colleagues at his home that when he went to his bedroom to get a book, seeing the bed he got into his pajamas and went to sleep," Aczel explained.
The third kind of stupidity is "lack of control". "Here, people know how to do things right and are aware of their actions, they still make that mistake," he continued. "Impulsivity and short-term emotions can make us act against our best thinking. In heated conversations, we can easily lose control. Overindulging in food or drinks can also seem stupid the day after."
My sister once asked if something was spelled right. As I was looking, she said "it must be right, there isn't a red line under it."
She was hand writing on paper.
I'll mock her forever for that one.
Also, when I was drunk, I once said "I'm quite short for my height."
The sky is blue because it’s reflecting the color of the ocean. There are many things wrong with that, starting with the fact that WE ARE IN KENTUCKY.
That men have one less rib than women because, you know, god made Eve from Adams rib so, naturally, ALL men have one less rib. (Just typing this makes me feel stupid.)
When asked why we find a sense of satisfaction in witnessing someone else act foolish, Aczel explained it brings us both sorrow and joy at once. "The entire entertainment industry is built on people's desire to watch other people doing something very stupid. One possible answer is that when we watch others' stupid actions then we feel superior, we can easily think that we are not that dumb. Watching stupid actions also simplifies the complexity of the world temporarily: nothing is more obvious than the stupidity of a stupid act. Feeling superior and easing our brainwork is very pleasing for humans."
A guy i knew thought that bones were made of wood.
My friend once thought Aloe Vera was some European model who was hired for every cosmetic commercial because they would always say the product name and then “with aloe vera” as they showed models in the back dancing or washing their face or whatever. He thought she was one of them.
I believe the direct quote was something to the effect of “it’s crazy how she gets hired for literally every single commercial”.
This was in like 1995.
I understand if it’s a child who came to this conclusion but an adult?
I once had a professionally licensed Chiropractor in the State of California - San Luis Obispo (Hi Laura!) tell me that the Sun is a Planet. She could not be swayed in her opinion, so I purchased a National Geographic map of "Our Solar System", had it framed and made a gift of it to her. That ended our association.
However, doing stupid things is simply a part of being human — often by mistake but sometimes by wish. "Why is it so tempting to get silly sometimes? The writer John Steinbeck says: 'Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids.'"
"Perhaps, acting smartly is very tiring and, occasionally, we have to take our leave from the control of rationality. It might be even adaptive to do that but only if we find the line between being silly and doing something really stupid," Aczel concluded.
Pretty much anything believers of almost any conspiracy theory say. Whether it be Qanon, Antivaxx, climate change denial, flat earthers etc...there are some real f**ken dumb ppl out there
“You’re just gonna have to hold it like it’s your period.”
That wearing a face mask mid pandemic meant that I support the Taliban/the suppression of women in Afghanistan and want it the same in my country.
Coworker couldn’t figure out why Alaska was cold and Hawaii was hot because “they’re next to each other on the map”
Grade 11 Law class in high school the teacher was talking about different bills the government implemented in history, bill of rights for example
30 minutes into the lesson the girl next to me raises her hand and asks the teacher “who’s this bill guy we’ve been talking about”
The whole class burst out laughing and the teacher was struggling to keep it together as well
When I moved to Texas from Hawaii *multiple* people asked me how long the drive was.
We have a rightwing politician here in Australia who shot to fame as an independent that pandered to the worst xenophobic instincts of conservative voters in her maiden speech to parliament. In an interview with 60 minutes she was asked what she thought about Euthanasia - a hot button topic at the time - and her response????? “I don’t mind as long as they stay there!”. To no one’s surprise it cemented her place amongst ill educated rightwing voters and allowed her to start her own political party.
Fellow student in a philosophy class.
"Evolution doesn't make any sense. How could monkeys evolve into humans in 2000 years since creation?"
this one is also quite sad, it shows where religious indoctrination leads to
During a foreign language class, when learning the names of different countries... Someone stopped the lecture and asked why this language we were learning, made up names for different countries. Why can't we just use the real names like Germany, Japan etc. Total silence. Then 10 minutes of the entire class trying to get this person to understand that Germany is not the name of Germany in German. That all these country names they know are all English "made up" names for those countries. They did not comprehend.
Confounds me to this date as this person was not from an English speaking country.
Went to a friends house and saw his carbon monoxide detector by an open window. I asked him why it was there. “The smoke detector said ‘get to air,’ so I moved it so it would stop going off!” I don’t know how that guy’s still alive…
My ex wife and I had a one hour argument - her insisting that 10:30am was in the afternoon. Started with her saying "we need to go at 10:30". Me: "I thought you said it wasn't until the afternoon?" "It is in the afternoon. 10:30. You know... later on." ME: "Afternoon doesn't mean later on... it means AFTER... NOON!" (arguing ensued). I still think about it all the time.
A flat earther say Australia isn’t real , that it’s just made by the media to cover the fact the earth is flat .
and yet, there are Flatearthers in Australia. That would be an interesting debate, between those 2
A professor at Belmont once told me that cars could never run on electricity, because there are no electric components of a car.
I wasn’t sure where to go from there.
Once when I took a class trip to Washington DC we went to a museum and saw a reenactment of something featuring George Washington on a big screen. While we were watching it I heard two girls from the front row. One of them asked the other, "Is this real footage?" And the other then replied, "No, if it was real it would be in black and white."
Met a nursing student who more or less believed the cure to cancer was "pretending like you don't have cancer."
conversation i once had with a grown woman:
her: 'the sunset is pretty this morning'
me: 'you mean sunrise'
her: 'oh. what's the difference?'
i thought she was joking. she was not
“Well, just listen better!” That was said to me by my teacher… im deaf
A girl in middle school thought that trees flapping created wind rather than the other way around.
“I live at 438 Cattle street. Remember it like 4 plus 3 is 8 cattle.”
“What?!”
I still remember that address
'It's really weird how cows developed udders so humans could drink their milk. How did that evolution come about?' - my brother, forgetting that baby cows exist
Followed by 'oh, well that understands it' when our mum explained
In the 1990's I went into a store in Canada (where I live) with a $100 American bill. I bought a bottle of wine for about $13. When the woman working the register worked out the exchange rate (about 13%) she said 'oh, you get $100 back' and handed back the American $100 bill to me and said 'funny how that works'
Back then I took it and left snickering... but I would correct the situation now if that happened, which I'm guessing never would again.
SIL believed up to a very late age that meat was taken from an animal that was released back to the paddock to re-grow the missing piece. Then the cycle repeats
Ya, when I was 5, i thought that the reason why raw meat turns to cooked meat was because of the heat and when the cooked meat is stored in a cold place, it would turn back to raw.
Wait wait,
Why have you been lying to me?! You said you were from Liverpool, not England!
I kinda think dinguses like that will Always Walk Alone because of their ignorance...
A friend's boyfriend asked "What's roast beef made of anyway?" He was also a restaurant server. I told him "it's beef. Roasted". Cue surprised face then he laughed at himself. He wasn't the brightest.
I dont wear a seatbelt, because in the case of a crash it can give you burnings. Was also a car without an Airbag. So good luck.
In my college there was a boy who asked what planet all these illegal aliens were from.
A friend of mine looked at me. And in all seriousness asked. "Can you get a tan on a cruise ship? Since you know it's moving?"
I asked her to explain what she meant. And she thought. That since the cruise ship was moving, the sun beams wouldn't hit the boat, since you know, it was moving. So the sun couldn't hit the boat.
RACIST TRIGGER WARNING
My old friend once said that black people were bread to be super humans, since they’re naturally more muscular than white people usually. And then she was like “all that work in the cotton fields did them favours” I wanted to stab myself in the ears
A woman I used to work with (who was a staunch Christian) said that she wasn’t concerned at all with climate change and that CC activists were selfish troublemakers.
I vehemently challenged this view by saying that the activists are only trying to get us to wake up because if we don’t address CC we will be destroying the earth, thus destroying ourselves and all future generations.
She responded by saying “well, if the earth does get destroyed then God will just make it all again, so I’m not worried”
I was rendered utterly dumbstruck by the stupidity and selfishness
Perhaps God will make it again without her if it happens...Smh
Not really saying something but my sister once text my dad to let him know he left his phone at home.
My fiancee was looking for her mobile phone while she was talking to me on her mobile phone. I like any good partner helped her with the 'search', offering suggestions where to check. Told her to call me back once she found it 😀
“Wait but how did Jews exist before Jesus?”
And
“Vikings where real!? I thought they where just cartoons.”
Same chick, mid thirties.
"Is your hair naturally long, or did you grow it out?"
I was addicted to inhalants at the time and told a buddy of mine. He suggested I quit and switch to meth. He's in jail now.
I had a friend that thought that a rat was the female of a mouse and vice versa. It took me and hour to explain they are different species
Hank Johnson, a senator from Georgia, testified that he was worried about all of the troops being sent to Guam, because the island may tip over.
My friend asked me how much my electricity bill was for the lights on my car…
A woman in my office asked another woman if “The Martian” with Matt Damon was based on a true story and the other woman said she wasn’t sure.
Beginning of high school, some kid argued with me that girls can't be straight, they can only be gay or lesbian. According to him, gay means liking men. So I say, "So you're telling me you're lesbian?" So he says, "No, only girls can be lesbian. Straight means men liking women, so I'm straight"
I was calling around grocery stores in Missouri looking for Tofurkey for Thanksgiving for a vegan girlfriend. I called one store, and the woman who answered the phone said, “Let me transfer you to the meat department.”
Before I could object, I was talking to some guy in the meat department. I told him I wasn’t sure I was in the right department, but I was checking if they carried Tofurkey. He said, “Oh, I think I’ve heard of that! That’s like.... the vegetarian part of the turkey right?”
At the electronica dance party at Disneyland they had one of those laser shows where an actor bends the laser and this fully grown dude with the thickest yokel accent said “If theys real lasers how ain’t he cutting his fingers off?” It was so funny my family had to give up our spot by the stage so we wouldn’t laugh in his face
My mom at an a&w/long john silver combo restaurant "what's the difference between the#2 on this menu and the#2 on the other one?"
Me "ones fish, the other is chicken"
Her "I know but what's the difference?"
“Was world war 1 after world war 2?”
This was in my English class as we were learning about historical contexts
“So the reason we have satellites is to spin the earth around on its axis?”
Said in year 8 science class when learning about the solar system
A guy I work with was watching a show about the shroud of Turin. He said that they did a DNA test on the stains and that it was confirmed to be the blood of christ... And that his DNA was shaped like crosses.
The last sentence stems from some idiotic Christian claim, that the protein Laminin is shaped like a cross. It is sometimes drawn like that as a chemical structure, but of course, molecules, in reality, are not rigid. And even if they did....so what?
When I was a kid I had an uncle tell me that dinosaurs and humans coexisted. When I tried to explain to him that wasn’t true, he told my parents I was arguing and being disrespectful with an adult and I got in big trouble.
My great aunt used to think that the sun and the moon were the same thing until my grandmother explained to her that they’re two completely different things 😀
I knew this girl in highschool. She didn't eat meat, and she was allergic to most fruits. She would sometimes just eat from a grocery bag of spinach in class.
One time someone asked her: "If you don't eat any fruit, aren't you worried you'll get scurvy?"
And she said: "Nah, I brush my teeth."
The way my mother informed me that my brother and his girlfriend had broken up.
"Oh, by the way, [GIRLFRIEND] is no longer with us."
I called my brother to offer my condolences and ask about wake/funeral arrangements. He was baffled. "She's not dead, we just broke up, what are you talking about?"
“The Amish don’t get covid because they don’t have TVs. So I stopped watching TV.”
Yes, that's how infectious diseases work. That's why people didn't go ill before the TV was invented....wait a minute
One of my best friends was convinced that Sweden and Finland were the same country and that Iceland didn’t exist.
Someone thought light was an element in the periodic table during an interview
I had a roommate that refused to believe that the earth rotates once per day. He insisted it rotated 24,000 times a day, and it was just so fast you couldn't see it. I thought maybe he got confused with 24,000 miles per day (like maybe how fast a point at the equator would rotate around the earth per day). But no. He said it was like when something is spinning so fast it's like a blur and you can't see the spinning anymore. 24,000 complete rotations per day.
That all birth control is 100% effective so condoms aren't necessary 🥲
'women who have small breasts, it is because they have little milk to breastfeed, on the other hand women with large breasts store more milk than small ones'
-jack, 3th year of highschool
A sous chef who made more money than me, a line cook, sincerely thought leaving a lid on a pot makes bringing water to a boil go slower because it "holds the heat down". I will refrain from repeating the other very horrible things this person has said.
I'm unsure if the difference can be appreciated in a regular pot. Still, water under pressure boils at a higher temperature (the principle of the pressure pot), so if the heat is constant, it will take longer to boil. The benefit is that food cooks faster, so the total time is shorter, and the energy used is lower.
I was in a sex ed class in college and we were discussing the anatomical features that a vulva possesses, including the location of the clitoris and how it is on the outside of the body, pretty close to the opening of the vagina.
A girl stopped the class to inform us that that was incorrect, and that the clitoris was actually behind the belly button. I can still hear her. “It’s behind the belly button. Behind the belly button. Behind the belly button! Right?”
My neighbor trying to make a case for America to reinstate the 18th Amendment. His reasoning? Alcohol is forced upon us by the Jews to keep us stupid and complacent.
In my freshman year of college, a biology professor started his semester with a speech about how science is how we explain everything in the modern world through experiments and peer review. A girl next to me had a smug look on her face and said, "If science can explain everything then why are people still doing experiments? Can't science just explain it? I mean just read a book." It took me a while to realize her wisdom and then it took me even longer to hold down my laughter.
Oof. In a college honors biology class, the professor was talking about some body process and this one girl starts questioning and saying "Well I'm different from other girls so my body would act differently so you cant say that at as a fact". The professor just looked at her and smiled and cut her off saying "the human body works the same way for everyone, you're not special because you identify differently on the outside"
A former friend of mine once said her horse was born as a gelding (no testicles). She seriously thought animals are either born female, male or "castrated". I couldn't believe it 😂
"My son can't come back home from base because he refuses to get the vaccine."
"Why not? It's just a vaccine."
"Hmph! No it isn't! I'm a nurse, I know! They put all kinds of chemicals and stuff in there, and it killed someone a friend knew. Got the vaccine, then had a heart attack a week later!" Said to me by someone who 1. Definitely was not a nurse 2. At a laundromat where all the broke people in my town go 3. After she said her son had to get a bunch of shots to go abroad in the first place.
I once had a co-worker tell me he wanted to eventually take some time off work so he could drive down to Africa and see the Lions... For whatever reason he forgot that South America existed and Africa was not connected to the United States in any way shape or form
"Wasn't the pledge that thing that killed half of Europe?" - a girl I knew from school
"Humans actually have 306 bones in their bodies. Everyone always seems to be 100 off these days. Except me, of course." -a know-it-all, bratty kid who thought he was the smartest person in the universe even though basically everything he said was wrong.
Babies are born with around 306 but they weld together to about 100 less. Is he calling himself a baby?
I work at a coffee shop. On a daily basis people will ask if we have hot coffee.
My dad is a violinist in the Cleveland orchestra. They were on tour in East Germany 15 years ago. So he's on a train talking to one of the other violinists about how crazy it is after all these years, there is still bombed out buildings that hadn't been torn down or dealt with since wwii. Then stereotypical blonde chimes in... "wait, wasn't Germany our allies in the war?"
One of the stupidest things I've ever heard and I wasn't even there
I had a friend of a friend in middle school completely believe and argue with me that mice ran the traffic lights. She really believed that mice went into the traffic lights and changed the color, that why you always saw mice around busy roads. And wheen I say middle school I mean 8th grade, 13-14 years old. She didn't have the best upbringing...
A former high school colleague asked how planets stay put if there’s no gravity in “the space”. She followed up with “and if there’s no friction wouldn’t the planets keep moving in space? So how did they stop in the perfect place to form life?”
As you can probably guess, she was going for the “Proof God Exists” argument but wasn’t doing herself any favors with that reasoning.
I imagine she was one of the people who couldn't comprehend orbits as "traveling at a given speed in a frictionless environment"
I have a lot of birthmarks, some girl in high school pointed it out and said "oh, is it because you're mixed race?"
A girl in my school (can't remember exactly but we should've been 12-13) was absolutely adamant that the number of dark birthmarks/beautymarks/freckles on a white person was the number of black ancestors the person had 😶
I work on trains 😅 I hear alot of stupid stuff but this was my top one yet.
We got to a station and the signal ahead was on red light meaning stop or do not proceed bassically the same as traffic lights, not complicated to explain. Made a announcement "sorry for the delay, we are currently being held on a red signal and will be moving momentarily" we did 5 minutes later but got stopped at the next station.
A couple were walking down the platform toward the exit I hear the husband/BF go "ah stuck at a red signal again" I acknowledge him and said "Yeh, red signal again" his misses looks me dead in the eye "whats a red signal?" I was stunned for a moment as I thought she was pulling my leg but she was seriouse. Her husband chimed in "you know, red means stop green means go" he said to her and we both saw she still hadn't sunk it in, he spoke again "like a traffic light" she took maybe 5 to 10 seconds but she gave a like "ooooo" as they kept walking down the platform.....
All I could think in that moment was she rather having a blank day where your head not functioning correctly or she one of the people you thing 'how do you get up in the morning'
My college educated friend said that her co-worker’s new baby had a “generic” disease.
My other friend was waxing poetic about wanting to be a teacher. She said “I want to be the one teaching them that there are 24 letters in the alphabet!” And yes, she did go on to teach.
One of my classmates said, “why you speaking Mexican?”.
When I had to fill out the form at the vets office I actually asked the difference between “breed” and “species”. In my defense it was the form to get her ashes back and I was distraught but yeah, still thinking about that…
You had a brain fart in the midst of grief. This is perfectly understandable
An ex’s friend who was studying genetics at Uni and in the middle of preparing a report on their study of manipulating a frogs genes to make them glow in the dark stopped to ask us “What day is Christmas this year?” - not as in “On what day does Christmas fall this year” - as in “What *date* is Christmas this year?”
They had a brain fart and thought that Christmas, like Easter, moved.
My sister has very severe dyslexia.
Once she asked me how to spell USB. I was dumfounded and thought she was joking. She asked again, how do you spell USB. I was like, yeah ok, its literally spelled USB as you say it. She freaked out and told me not to bully her for the dyslexia and tell her how to actually spell it. I started laughing and wrote it down on a piece of paper.. ill never forget the look on her face when she realised
I used have a small side business as a web designer. A customer wanted an animated intro to the site, like a site-loader. So I sent them a link to look at the one I created and great- they love it. Then like 2 days later I get a message saying there's something wrong with the loader. So of course I go check it out right away- seems fine so I ask what's going on. They said they tried to show it to someone else but it wasn't moving for them. That it was frozen. I spend like 2 days trying to figure out if it was a browser issue, was a coding issue- can't figure it out. Come to find out they *printed* the loader page and were confused as to why it wasn't moving. ON PAPER. I was like "because this isn't Hogwarts." Even after I kindly explained it, they weren't embarrassed or like 'oh wow duh'. They were a little upset it wasn't working and tried to get a rebate on the service. That was the last job I took. I was getting burned out and that just made the decision to stop easier.
"Because this isn't Hogwarts". ... This is now in my arsenal.
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How about a certain someone who recently suggested that if you have solar power, your electricity will shut off at night?
I had to look that one up. Should have known it was that dumb blonde from Georgia!
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A past coworker once suggested I was autistic because I was able to focus on my data entry work. Sometimes I wonder, but then she's also convinced that her daughter developed a gluten allergy from getting a tattoo.
I was telling my boss how I would go sort calves with my horse for fun at a local ranch "fun day". I explained how the calves had numbers on them and we would sort them into the pen in the correct order. She asked if how the horse could be so smart as to read the numbers. I just stared for a moment. She also can't understand why my pet cats didn't constantly scratch, bite and attack me. I try to avoid conversations about my pets and hobbies with her.
At the post office, customer wants one stamp. I said that will be 49 cents. He hands me a dollar and as he is putting the stamp on his letter and I’m getting his change he says, “how much are stamps these days anyway?” As I’m sliding his 51 cents change over to him I say, “um, 49 cents.” He goes, “Oh, right.” Walks out giggling.
When younger, someone told me not to play with my belly button because it's a stomach cancer risk. Imagine the laughter in biology when I asked teacher. But the teacher did say that was an interesting question. Being the naval and all. But hey, I didn't get picked on. Actually had a few after class that introduced themselves. I was new in town and what an ice breaker!
When I was very young, I was told that if I ate too many cucumber slices, "weeds would grow out of my ears" due to the large size of the seeds - which could easily be seen. I don't know if I thought it was stupid at the time, but I didn't believe it. I ate as many cucumbers as I wanted. When I woke up the next morning, weeds were covering my bed. Thanks dad.
Back in the day, sent a client a proof of artwork via fax. Her: It's supposed to be blue! Why isn't it the colour I chose?! Had to slowly explain that the ink in the fax machine was black. Winter, in the middle of a power cut in which the whole street was out, all staff standing in the foyer IN THE DARK trying to decide whether to close (1 hour to go), old man pops in for a photocopy. Co-worker: Sorry, but as you can see we have no power. Him: But I only want one! Had an argument with a client who INSISTED that 12.00am was midday; this was for an invitation for a gallery opening. Good luck with that! He finally saw sense, but, phew! I could go on. People are stupid ...
My cousin moved to the US (we are in UK) in a time before internet. Her mum was sad how long mail took, my dad showed her how to use a fax. She sat down, wrote a long letter, popped in an envelope and faxed the envelope. My dad is tried to explain why it wouldn't work, but she said it was private and he had told her it worked like instant mail. So funny to watch my dad and his sister trying to understand each other.
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I was in the USA in a gas station five or so years ago, a guy asked if I was from England, I replied yes, do you like Boxing, again yes, to which he replied do you know Rick Hatton (popular Brit boxer at the time) I said sadly no. The UK population is 67M lol
I'd say most of these could have been brainfarts, or stuff like that. Like I thought we lived to the south of dublin while we actually live to the north- and I'm considered rhe smart one XD
I overheard two customers in a craft store on the next isle trying to select the right size picture frame. They found an 8 x 11 frame, but weren't sure it would fit their 11 x 8 picture. They went on and on asking each other if they spotted anyone who could help them, and had they looked at the entire display of frames, and whether they should risk buying it ... what's the return policy, ... etc. I thought about going over helping them, but I decided it would be futile. It would have turned into an entire lesson on spacial relationships and how objects are measured.
"Is water a liquid?" Said a grown woman going through airport security
Many people turn off brains in airport. Just returned from holiday, I had done all packing. I filled my husband's hand luggage only with things he didn't need to take out - this usually means I'm stuck repackaging bags while he waits, so I put his bag last. I finish the repack, turn to see why his bag is holding us up. I can hear him telling the security lady that he definitely has no liquids or electronic items. I can see the exray - he had added a bottle of water to his bag.
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I'm a big paleo-nerd, and keepposting any new piece of Information I come across on my Whatsapp status. A few days back, a classmate of mine( we are in 11th standard in India) asked me if there were any big Dinosaurs left. I had already explained to him that Birds are technically Dinosaurs, so I said 'Yeah. Ostriches, Cassowaries, Emus,..." " I mean like T.rex and all type." " No. They all went extinct."" How exactly? Who killed them?" " Earth was hit by an asteroid.""yeah I know, but who killed them?". Mind you his Mum is a Teacher in our School, and he wants to get into the Indian Army. I wouldn't be surprised if he was American( What with all kinds of Conspiracy theories), but he's Indian, so how?
Is anyone else seeing many of these repeated in this same post? I'm using the app. Often, one or two entries will repeat (and count as separate numbers in a numbered list) but now it's many repeating. Like the list says 100 entries or something like that, but at least 10 are repeated?? So weird.
Maybe it's the app that's doing it because I'm not using the app and I'm not seeing duplicate entries.
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2 bartender stories 1. Bartender overheard me telling my friend I was going overseas. He asked me where? I said "England". He looked at me and said "I would like to travel overseas but I only speak English" "Did you have to study a long time to learn their language?" 2. Ordered a pinot grigio from a bartender. Her face screwed up and she said "what is that? I don't think we have that?" I said "okay, how about a white zinfandel?" Again screwed up face on her part, and she brings me a piece of paper. There was a list of Brands/types of wines. On it was Frankies/pinot grigio (made up the name). I hand her back the paper and say "Frankies" at which she said "why didn't you say that! I hope you don't have a "peanut allergy"! Pinot=peanut" Forehead slap!! Must be home schooled.
Why are people so afraid of breastfeeding that they make up such crazy s**t about it?
When I was younger a bunch of us went camping and had a fire pit going. One of the guys took a broken wooden bat from his trunk to use as wood and one of the girls yelled " Watch out! You're going to start a fire!" Same girl who later in the night had to pee and went under the lamp post (that was very bright) and stood there and did her business standing up, legs spread, with pants at her ankles.
Oh and said she was standing instead of squatting because she didn't want people to see her........
Load More Replies...
had a friend explain to me that morning sickness happens because the baby can't drink your milk while you're asleep, so they have to eat from stomach instead. She was pregnant with her first child at the time.
My mother had a friend who believed, the weather "was different in 2016, because it was a leap year."
It's pointless arguing with stupidity like this. The way I treat it is to lead the person on using their logic to some conclusion even they realise is crazy. If they are flat-earthers give them some plasticine and get them to model the solar system 'cos you can never get all the planets in the right order. I did this once and the person modelled all the planets and sin as spheres Got to the earth and went "Oh sh*t". He never raised the issue again.
A friend who worked at Long John Silver's said that there was a layer of mold on top of the hush puppy mix and he'd just scoop it up with the mix without any concern because... 'that's where penicillin comes from'. I still have not eaten there since, that was in the early 90's.
Talking about a documentary I was watching on the sinking of the Wilhelm Gustloff and how there was an interview with an elderly guy who was a small child on board and how sad it was that lots of people died. What does he ask me? Did he survive? What? Was he one of the survivors or did he die? You mean...the guy who is giving the interview about the sinking? The guy who was 8 years old and is now grown up, you're asking did he die in the sinking? Well... No! Oh thank goodness. I don't know where to start with that logic!
I volunteer Bouche for the job. He's only three months, but he's excellent at knocking things down.
I used have a small side business as a web designer. A customer wanted an animated intro to the site, like a site-loader. So I sent them a link to look at the one I created and great- they love it. Then like 2 days later I get a message saying there's something wrong with the loader. So of course I go check it out right away- seems fine so I ask what's going on. They said they tried to show it to someone else but it wasn't moving for them. That it was frozen. I spend like 2 days trying to figure out if it was a browser issue, was a coding issue- can't figure it out. Come to find out they *printed* the loader page and were confused as to why it wasn't moving. ON PAPER. I was like "because this isn't Hogwarts." Even after I kindly explained it, they weren't embarrassed or like 'oh wow duh'. They were a little upset it wasn't working and tried to get a rebate on the service. That was the last job I took. I was getting burned out and that just made the decision to stop easier.
"Because this isn't Hogwarts". ... This is now in my arsenal.
Load More Replies... How about a certain someone who recently suggested that if you have solar power, your electricity will shut off at night?
I had to look that one up. Should have known it was that dumb blonde from Georgia!
Load More Replies... A past coworker once suggested I was autistic because I was able to focus on my data entry work. Sometimes I wonder, but then she's also convinced that her daughter developed a gluten allergy from getting a tattoo.
I was telling my boss how I would go sort calves with my horse for fun at a local ranch "fun day". I explained how the calves had numbers on them and we would sort them into the pen in the correct order. She asked if how the horse could be so smart as to read the numbers. I just stared for a moment. She also can't understand why my pet cats didn't constantly scratch, bite and attack me. I try to avoid conversations about my pets and hobbies with her.
At the post office, customer wants one stamp. I said that will be 49 cents. He hands me a dollar and as he is putting the stamp on his letter and I’m getting his change he says, “how much are stamps these days anyway?” As I’m sliding his 51 cents change over to him I say, “um, 49 cents.” He goes, “Oh, right.” Walks out giggling.
When younger, someone told me not to play with my belly button because it's a stomach cancer risk. Imagine the laughter in biology when I asked teacher. But the teacher did say that was an interesting question. Being the naval and all. But hey, I didn't get picked on. Actually had a few after class that introduced themselves. I was new in town and what an ice breaker!
When I was very young, I was told that if I ate too many cucumber slices, "weeds would grow out of my ears" due to the large size of the seeds - which could easily be seen. I don't know if I thought it was stupid at the time, but I didn't believe it. I ate as many cucumbers as I wanted. When I woke up the next morning, weeds were covering my bed. Thanks dad.
Back in the day, sent a client a proof of artwork via fax. Her: It's supposed to be blue! Why isn't it the colour I chose?! Had to slowly explain that the ink in the fax machine was black. Winter, in the middle of a power cut in which the whole street was out, all staff standing in the foyer IN THE DARK trying to decide whether to close (1 hour to go), old man pops in for a photocopy. Co-worker: Sorry, but as you can see we have no power. Him: But I only want one! Had an argument with a client who INSISTED that 12.00am was midday; this was for an invitation for a gallery opening. Good luck with that! He finally saw sense, but, phew! I could go on. People are stupid ...
My cousin moved to the US (we are in UK) in a time before internet. Her mum was sad how long mail took, my dad showed her how to use a fax. She sat down, wrote a long letter, popped in an envelope and faxed the envelope. My dad is tried to explain why it wouldn't work, but she said it was private and he had told her it worked like instant mail. So funny to watch my dad and his sister trying to understand each other.
Load More Replies... I was in the USA in a gas station five or so years ago, a guy asked if I was from England, I replied yes, do you like Boxing, again yes, to which he replied do you know Rick Hatton (popular Brit boxer at the time) I said sadly no. The UK population is 67M lol
I'd say most of these could have been brainfarts, or stuff like that. Like I thought we lived to the south of dublin while we actually live to the north- and I'm considered rhe smart one XD
I overheard two customers in a craft store on the next isle trying to select the right size picture frame. They found an 8 x 11 frame, but weren't sure it would fit their 11 x 8 picture. They went on and on asking each other if they spotted anyone who could help them, and had they looked at the entire display of frames, and whether they should risk buying it ... what's the return policy, ... etc. I thought about going over helping them, but I decided it would be futile. It would have turned into an entire lesson on spacial relationships and how objects are measured.
"Is water a liquid?" Said a grown woman going through airport security
Many people turn off brains in airport. Just returned from holiday, I had done all packing. I filled my husband's hand luggage only with things he didn't need to take out - this usually means I'm stuck repackaging bags while he waits, so I put his bag last. I finish the repack, turn to see why his bag is holding us up. I can hear him telling the security lady that he definitely has no liquids or electronic items. I can see the exray - he had added a bottle of water to his bag.
Load More Replies... I'm a big paleo-nerd, and keepposting any new piece of Information I come across on my Whatsapp status. A few days back, a classmate of mine( we are in 11th standard in India) asked me if there were any big Dinosaurs left. I had already explained to him that Birds are technically Dinosaurs, so I said 'Yeah. Ostriches, Cassowaries, Emus,..." " I mean like T.rex and all type." " No. They all went extinct."" How exactly? Who killed them?" " Earth was hit by an asteroid.""yeah I know, but who killed them?". Mind you his Mum is a Teacher in our School, and he wants to get into the Indian Army. I wouldn't be surprised if he was American( What with all kinds of Conspiracy theories), but he's Indian, so how?
Is anyone else seeing many of these repeated in this same post? I'm using the app. Often, one or two entries will repeat (and count as separate numbers in a numbered list) but now it's many repeating. Like the list says 100 entries or something like that, but at least 10 are repeated?? So weird.
Maybe it's the app that's doing it because I'm not using the app and I'm not seeing duplicate entries.
Load More Replies... 2 bartender stories 1. Bartender overheard me telling my friend I was going overseas. He asked me where? I said "England". He looked at me and said "I would like to travel overseas but I only speak English" "Did you have to study a long time to learn their language?" 2. Ordered a pinot grigio from a bartender. Her face screwed up and she said "what is that? I don't think we have that?" I said "okay, how about a white zinfandel?" Again screwed up face on her part, and she brings me a piece of paper. There was a list of Brands/types of wines. On it was Frankies/pinot grigio (made up the name). I hand her back the paper and say "Frankies" at which she said "why didn't you say that! I hope you don't have a "peanut allergy"! Pinot=peanut" Forehead slap!! Must be home schooled.
Why are people so afraid of breastfeeding that they make up such crazy s**t about it?
When I was younger a bunch of us went camping and had a fire pit going. One of the guys took a broken wooden bat from his trunk to use as wood and one of the girls yelled " Watch out! You're going to start a fire!" Same girl who later in the night had to pee and went under the lamp post (that was very bright) and stood there and did her business standing up, legs spread, with pants at her ankles.
Oh and said she was standing instead of squatting because she didn't want people to see her........
Load More Replies... had a friend explain to me that morning sickness happens because the baby can't drink your milk while you're asleep, so they have to eat from stomach instead. She was pregnant with her first child at the time.
My mother had a friend who believed, the weather "was different in 2016, because it was a leap year."
It's pointless arguing with stupidity like this. The way I treat it is to lead the person on using their logic to some conclusion even they realise is crazy. If they are flat-earthers give them some plasticine and get them to model the solar system 'cos you can never get all the planets in the right order. I did this once and the person modelled all the planets and sin as spheres Got to the earth and went "Oh sh*t". He never raised the issue again.
A friend who worked at Long John Silver's said that there was a layer of mold on top of the hush puppy mix and he'd just scoop it up with the mix without any concern because... 'that's where penicillin comes from'. I still have not eaten there since, that was in the early 90's.
Talking about a documentary I was watching on the sinking of the Wilhelm Gustloff and how there was an interview with an elderly guy who was a small child on board and how sad it was that lots of people died. What does he ask me? Did he survive? What? Was he one of the survivors or did he die? You mean...the guy who is giving the interview about the sinking? The guy who was 8 years old and is now grown up, you're asking did he die in the sinking? Well... No! Oh thank goodness. I don't know where to start with that logic!
I volunteer Bouche for the job. He's only three months, but he's excellent at knocking things down.
