50 Times People Heard Someone Say Something So Blatantly Stupid, They Just Had To Share It Online Interview With Author
We’ve all been there — times we said something so dumb, we wished the ground would just swallow us up. After all, even the brightest of us are not immune to making mistakes as they are an inevitable part of human nature. Just think of all the naive hopes, faulty assumptions, and plain wrong opinions we carry with us throughout our lives without questioning — everyone is bound to have their brain.exe stopped working moments.
So a few months ago, Redditor Xlh883dragster decided to help us come to terms with our collective idiocy and show that blunders can strike us at any time. They reached out to fellow members of 'Ask Reddit' with a question: "What’s something you’ve heard someone say that was so incredibly, mind numbingly stupid that you’ll remember it the rest of your life?"
The thread immediately became a hit as hundreds of people offered a glimpse into other people’s embarrassing moments, both funny and relatable. Scroll down to enjoy reading through these entertaining responses, upvote your favorite ones, and be sure to tell us all about the stupidest things you’ve ever done in the comments! Then if you’re keen on even more stories of people acting silly, check out our earlier piece right here.
Someone asked me how the guy that donated his heart to me was doing.
Friend: "I've always wondered how goats grow into deer in the wild but stay goats at the farm."
Me: "Ayo what the f**k?"
Friend: "I know, crazy, right? With ponies at least you can see them grow into horses but the goats??"
My wife's Grandmother was on her death bed in 2015, right around Christmas. I was scheduled to work that Christmas Eve... she took a turn for the worst that morning and I was told we'd all better get to the house quick. Tried to call my manager, no answer, left him a voicemail. I called the manager on duty and said I'm sorry it's just not happening today I have a family crisis. Duty manager said absolutely no problem. Called their manager too to ensure I covered all my bases. They both said take all the time you need. Was supposed to work the weekend after too. No problem, we'll get you covered. She died that Sunday.
Get back to work Tuesday. My own manager comes to my desk, he's pissed at me. Why didn't I show up for work those days? I told him the situation, told him I'd called everyone to ensure I was covered. His response? "Well, you should have planned that better". This is the only time I've ever seen my cube mate, this mild mannered Iranian I'd worked with for years, get upset. He leapt out of his seat, grabbed my manager by his arm and dragged him to his office. Apparently the shouting match went on for some time, I was too busy sitting at my desk with my jaw on the floor processing what he just said.
That manager was an a*****e. My coworker is one cool dude. I never got an apology, but I note he was fired for unrelated reasons a few months later so f**k him.
We managed to get in touch with Redditor Xlh883dragster, Brad, who was kind enough to have a chat about his thread. When asked about what inspired him to start this conversation in the first place, he told Bored Panda he’s not 100% sure where it came from. "It was just one of those things that kind of materialize or occur randomly in your consciousness. However, I have been binge-watching (and re-watching) 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and 'Seinfeld' recently, so that could have had something to do with it."
Brad explained these popular sitcoms have put him in this weird frame of mind. "[It] has me thinking about ordinary day-to-day things that happen to me or random thoughts that streak through my mind in the context of 'Hey, that would have been a funny scene in Curb' or 'That would have been a hilarious Seinfeld character', followed by the respective theme song playing in my head," the Redditor added.
When asked about the avalanche of replies his thread received, Brad said it felt good to put something out there that many people connected to. "I definitely didn’t expect it to get the response that it did," he added. "But was pleasantly surprised (and slightly mortified at the thought of trying to read all of them) when I started to see hundreds and then thousands of replies flooding my inbox."
Substitute teacher told me the moon is bigger than the sun that's why it blocks the sun during an eciplse. Was in grade 4 I argued with her.
That Darwin was half right and that black people evolved from monkeys but white people were the descendants of Adam and Eve.
The same guy went on about what an idiot his heart doctor was because he was Indian. Yeah, that guy is dead from a heart attack now. Oh well.
As you’re scrolling through this list, you can’t help but feel entertained by the dumb things that inevitably leave our mouths. While it makes for some cringe-worthy material, we humans seem to always feel intrigued by these stories.
Brad shared a few reasons people are drawn to devour stupid things others overhear. "First is, it’s funny. I found myself laughing out loud at several of the quotes that were posted. Some were just absolutely hilarious. It’s the whole concept of Schadenfreude — laughing at others' misfortune. We do it because laughing makes us feel good."
The other explanation we enjoy reading about these moments is that it offers us comfort and makes us feel slightly better about our own embarrassing blunders. After all, they represent a certain universal truth — we all sometimes hold false hopes and wrong beliefs that are hilariously stupid. "It’s a little bit of a confidence boost, and also something you can relate to as a fellow traveler. Some people might think 'Thank god I’m not the only one who thought or said the same thing' or 'Whew, at least I know I’m not the dumbest person on Earth!'"
A flight was delayed due to snow on the runway, a woman complained saying “damn it this happens every year, why don’t they put a roof over the runway or something”.
One of my college roommates wandered in while we were watching JAWS. It’s the final 15 minutes. The shark is tearing the Orca apart. It comes to the scene where the shark heaves itself up on the stern, the roommate says,
“It’s pretty neat how they trained that shark to do that.”
Dear reader, he was serious.
How do dogs in China learn Chinese. He was under the assumption that dogs just naturally spoke English.
Moreover, these stories can "teach people that we all say a lot of dumb things, and may have incorrect or false beliefs, but it doesn’t mean you’re uneducated or stupid, and shouldn’t be labeled as such," Brad added.
"There’s a phrase I like, and that’s 'Common sense is learned'. No one was just born with common sense, it's not innate. It’s built through experiences and everyone’s are different, and we all followed a different path to get where we are today. So what’s common sense for one person isn’t necessarily for another."
New girl at work...she was horrified that we eat the eggs that come from our chickens. She insisted store bought were normal good eggs. She then really blew my mind when she said she doesn't eat chicken, so she only buys "hens". She about had a panic attack when I explained hen is just lady chicken. Very sheltered
I used to work as a paralegal and had to fight with Social Security when they accused my clients of fraud. Got on a call with an agent who insisted my client was faking the disability her daughter had. The daughter died of the disability and it says it on the death certificate. The agent told me it wasn't enough proof.
I had this friend I met for lunch once after not seeing her for a while. She said, "I never see you. I miss you." I told her that I've been working a lot and that I've worked 9 days straight. She goes, "HOW? THERE'S ONLY 7 DAYS IN A WEEK!".
Brad stressed that while these replies represent some hilariously painful things people voiced out loud, he guaranteed that many of them were said by intelligent people. "Just because someone says (or does, for that matter) something really dumb or absurd, doesn’t mean they are stupid or ignorant."
"My advice for anyone that made the list or has said things that still make them cringe and haunt their memories to this day is just to say — Welcome to the club! We all have our moments. Everyone’s brain farts. The smartest among us think, say, and do some really dumb things, so don’t ever let yourself or anyone else make you feel bad, stupid, or less than," Brad said.
A girl in my high school said that of she and her hypothetical husband had undesirable face features that they didn’t want to pass on to a child (like a bumpy nose) one of them would just plastic surgery before conceiving a child. When I said that with her logic if both me and my partner chopped off our index fingers our child would be born without index fingers. She said that wasn’t the same thing. We were 17 at the time. I still think about that, 18 years later.
When I was 17, I casually mentioned to one of the high school nurses that I didn't want to have kids until I was at least 25, and she told me that by the time I was 25 it would be "too late" to have my first baby and I should have two kids by the time I was 20. She then called the girl who got pregnant at the beginning of freshman year "the smartest girl in town" because she was the same age as me and on her third baby.
I remember it so well because it was the last time I ever saw her. She apparently told the other nurse about the conversation, and the other nurse was so revolted that she reported her to the school board, who then transferred her to the elementary school (which she then got fired from for calling a girl's clothes "slutty".)
My friend once turned around to me and said "i don't believe in oxygen".
While it looks like there's no limit to dumb things people end up saying aloud, it's also true to our brilliantly foolish actions. As Balazs Aczel, an associate professor at ELTE University in Budapest, and author of the study What is stupid?: People's conception of unintelligent behavior, explained to us in a previous interview, people use the label "stupid" for three very different types of actions.
"We call the first category 'confident ignorance'. In these actions, people's confidence tends to exceed what their skills or knowledge would allow," the professor told Bored Panda. "In other words, they think they know how to do risky things, and they do it. For example, they go bungee jumping with their home-made gear, such as a metal cord."
At KFC one woman was surprised to learn that Buffalo wings were made of chicken, she actually thought that buffaloes had wings.
Also, a couple of people thought that islands float.
My boyfriend's dad said the vaccine was full of aids and shards of glass.
"Breastfeeding your child is so gross! You're basically teaching it to have sex!"
Said by a 21 year old woman
The second type of "stupid" happens due to absentmindedness. In this case, people have sufficient knowledge to act rationally, except they don't monitor their actions. "Whenever we turn into auto-pilot, we risk doing something very irrational. A good example is a professor who was so engaged in a deep conversation with his colleagues at his home that when he went to his bedroom to get a book, seeing the bed he got into his pajamas and went to sleep," Aczel explained.
The third kind of stupidity is "lack of control". "Here, people know how to do things right and are aware of their actions, they still make that mistake," he continued. "Impulsivity and short-term emotions can make us act against our best thinking. In heated conversations, we can easily lose control. Overindulging in food or drinks can also seem stupid the day after."
My sister once asked if something was spelled right. As I was looking, she said "it must be right, there isn't a red line under it."
She was hand writing on paper.
I'll mock her forever for that one.
Also, when I was drunk, I once said "I'm quite short for my height."
The sky is blue because it’s reflecting the color of the ocean. There are many things wrong with that, starting with the fact that WE ARE IN KENTUCKY.
That men have one less rib than women because, you know, god made Eve from Adams rib so, naturally, ALL men have one less rib. (Just typing this makes me feel stupid.)
When asked why we find a sense of satisfaction in witnessing someone else act foolish, Aczel explained it brings us both sorrow and joy at once. "The entire entertainment industry is built on people's desire to watch other people doing something very stupid. One possible answer is that when we watch others' stupid actions then we feel superior, we can easily think that we are not that dumb. Watching stupid actions also simplifies the complexity of the world temporarily: nothing is more obvious than the stupidity of a stupid act. Feeling superior and easing our brainwork is very pleasing for humans."
My friend once thought Aloe Vera was some European model who was hired for every cosmetic commercial because they would always say the product name and then “with aloe vera” as they showed models in the back dancing or washing their face or whatever. He thought she was one of them.
I believe the direct quote was something to the effect of “it’s crazy how she gets hired for literally every single commercial”.
This was in like 1995.
I once had a professionally licensed Chiropractor in the State of California - San Luis Obispo (Hi Laura!) tell me that the Sun is a Planet. She could not be swayed in her opinion, so I purchased a National Geographic map of "Our Solar System", had it framed and made a gift of it to her. That ended our association.
However, doing stupid things is simply a part of being human — often by mistake but sometimes by wish. "Why is it so tempting to get silly sometimes? The writer John Steinbeck says: 'Sometimes a man wants to be stupid if it lets him do a thing his cleverness forbids.'"
"Perhaps, acting smartly is very tiring and, occasionally, we have to take our leave from the control of rationality. It might be even adaptive to do that but only if we find the line between being silly and doing something really stupid," Aczel concluded.
Pretty much anything believers of almost any conspiracy theory say. Whether it be Qanon, Antivaxx, climate change denial, flat earthers etc...there are some real f**ken dumb ppl out there
“You’re just gonna have to hold it like it’s your period.”
That wearing a face mask mid pandemic meant that I support the Taliban/the suppression of women in Afghanistan and want it the same in my country.
Coworker couldn’t figure out why Alaska was cold and Hawaii was hot because “they’re next to each other on the map”
Grade 11 Law class in high school the teacher was talking about different bills the government implemented in history, bill of rights for example
30 minutes into the lesson the girl next to me raises her hand and asks the teacher “who’s this bill guy we’ve been talking about”
The whole class burst out laughing and the teacher was struggling to keep it together as well
When I moved to Texas from Hawaii *multiple* people asked me how long the drive was.
We have a rightwing politician here in Australia who shot to fame as an independent that pandered to the worst xenophobic instincts of conservative voters in her maiden speech to parliament. In an interview with 60 minutes she was asked what she thought about Euthanasia - a hot button topic at the time - and her response????? “I don’t mind as long as they stay there!”. To no one’s surprise it cemented her place amongst ill educated rightwing voters and allowed her to start her own political party.
Fellow student in a philosophy class.
"Evolution doesn't make any sense. How could monkeys evolve into humans in 2000 years since creation?"
During a foreign language class, when learning the names of different countries... Someone stopped the lecture and asked why this language we were learning, made up names for different countries. Why can't we just use the real names like Germany, Japan etc. Total silence. Then 10 minutes of the entire class trying to get this person to understand that Germany is not the name of Germany in German. That all these country names they know are all English "made up" names for those countries. They did not comprehend.
Confounds me to this date as this person was not from an English speaking country.
Went to a friends house and saw his carbon monoxide detector by an open window. I asked him why it was there. “The smoke detector said ‘get to air,’ so I moved it so it would stop going off!” I don’t know how that guy’s still alive…
My ex wife and I had a one hour argument - her insisting that 10:30am was in the afternoon. Started with her saying "we need to go at 10:30". Me: "I thought you said it wasn't until the afternoon?" "It is in the afternoon. 10:30. You know... later on." ME: "Afternoon doesn't mean later on... it means AFTER... NOON!" (arguing ensued). I still think about it all the time.
A flat earther say Australia isn’t real , that it’s just made by the media to cover the fact the earth is flat .
A professor at Belmont once told me that cars could never run on electricity, because there are no electric components of a car.
I wasn’t sure where to go from there.
Once when I took a class trip to Washington DC we went to a museum and saw a reenactment of something featuring George Washington on a big screen. While we were watching it I heard two girls from the front row. One of them asked the other, "Is this real footage?" And the other then replied, "No, if it was real it would be in black and white."
Met a nursing student who more or less believed the cure to cancer was "pretending like you don't have cancer."
conversation i once had with a grown woman:
her: 'the sunset is pretty this morning'
me: 'you mean sunrise'
her: 'oh. what's the difference?'
i thought she was joking. she was not
“Well, just listen better!” That was said to me by my teacher… im deaf
A girl in middle school thought that trees flapping created wind rather than the other way around.
“I live at 438 Cattle street. Remember it like 4 plus 3 is 8 cattle.”
I still remember that address
'It's really weird how cows developed udders so humans could drink their milk. How did that evolution come about?' - my brother, forgetting that baby cows exist
Followed by 'oh, well that understands it' when our mum explained
In the 1990's I went into a store in Canada (where I live) with a $100 American bill. I bought a bottle of wine for about $13. When the woman working the register worked out the exchange rate (about 13%) she said 'oh, you get $100 back' and handed back the American $100 bill to me and said 'funny how that works'
Back then I took it and left snickering... but I would correct the situation now if that happened, which I'm guessing never would again.
SIL believed up to a very late age that meat was taken from an animal that was released back to the paddock to re-grow the missing piece. Then the cycle repeats
Why have you been lying to me?! You said you were from Liverpool, not England!
A friend's boyfriend asked "What's roast beef made of anyway?" He was also a restaurant server. I told him "it's beef. Roasted". Cue surprised face then he laughed at himself. He wasn't the brightest.