30 Wholesome Secrets That People Keep From Their SOs

There’s nothing we wouldn’t do for our other halves. We would give them the last packet of Reese’s. We would pretend we find their jokes funny only to make the moment for them (even if it’s the stupidest thing we’ve heard). And we would also keep some tiny little secrets from them, so that their life would be as enjoyable as it can be.

And one Reddit user decided to find out precisely what kind of secrets people carry to not upset their SOs. 10.3k comments and 27.4k upvotes later, we have the most awwww-inducing answers right below.

So get ready to melt, because if there’s anything that can save the world right now, it must be this pure form of love.

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Several years ago one of our outside cats went missing, my wife's favorite. She was pretty upset. I had actually found the cat that morning and discovered what had actually happened to it. The facts and circumstances leading to it's death would upset her tremendously. She still thinks to this day the cat was taken by a rogue coyote or something when in reality, she had incidentally backed over it in the darkness of morning when leaving for work.

I've never been able to bring myself to tell her and never will. I felt awful for her. I even feel awful telling the internet about it now and it's been years!

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169points

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Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

when lying is done for exactly the right reasons...... :(

129points

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My ex-girlfriend had a few too many shots of tequila in a party and passed out on the couch. When I went to check her, I noticed she pissed all over the couch. To avoid embarrassments, I filled up a bucket with water and threw it over her to disguise it as a prank (I'm that kind of boyfriend).

She still has no idea.

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Final score:

156points

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Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

1) he covered for her 2) he didn't judge her negatively 3) he hid it from her so she wasn't embarrassed. All up = great guy.

166points

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My wife has a beautiful heart. I jokingly call her a Disney princess because any animal that she comes across she has to talk to, and greet. She has cried by seeing a dead raccoon on the side of the road before.

At the time, I was working day shift and she was working a swing shift. I had a busy day, but I saw she sent me some pictures of a young doe that was eating in our front yard. She seemed thrilled. I came home and saw the same deer! Dead. On my god damned porch. I felt like I started to hear “the first 48” theme playing as I realized I have six hours to get rid of this thing before my wife gets home and her world is shattered. I call my local city authorities thinking they wouldn’t want a dead animal in the middle of town. Turns out, they couldn’t care less. I called some local raptor shelters to see if they could take a stat donation but it turns out the dead deer business is booming and they didn’t have a need for donations at this time, especially in the next 6 hours.

Frustrated, I call my dad to vent and get advice on what to do. His response is only a “Hold on bud, I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” I go back inside to take care of the dogs and within the next 15 minutes I see me dad back his huge truck into my back yard, has the tail gait down and is knocking on my door with a pair of nitrile gloves on and another pair in hand for me. It was starting to get dark out, but we had that thing loaded up and found a special place to, uh. “Dispose” is it. We made it back with 20 minutes to spare before my wife got home.

I haven’t told my wife because I think it would either break her heart, or creep her out at how efficiently my dad can dump a body.

Anyway, wifey thinks her deer friend is alive and well, and totally not at the bottom of a ravine.

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Final score:

141points

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Demian 4 years ago

I know who to call when I need to dispose a body 😉

76points

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There are too many reasons why we’d choose to keep a secret from our other halves. And even though in any healthy relationship, the sense of emotional and physical privacy is something not to be forgotten about, sharing a secret may sometimes be healthier for your relationship.

But how do you know when it’s the right choice to do so? First of all, you should really consider whether the secret you're carrying is the kind that could hurt your relationship or marriage. These types of concerning secrets have to do with having an affair, hiding an illness, keeping an addiction hidden, lying about money, legal problems, and many more.

The first Christmas after I got together with my partner, he brought me a beautiful opal necklace. He knew it was my favorite stone. I suspect he paid quite a bit. He's mad proud of the thing and loves to see me wear it. He told me that when he brought it he paid for a slightly smaller opal, and the shop worker accidentally grabbed the wrong one so he got an upgrade to a bigger opal for free! My partner also has a whole thing against fake stones in jewelry, thinks it tacky, horrible dishonest etc. Long story short, what he doesn't realize is that my beautiful opal IS fake. See I suspect he paid for a real opal. But he probably wasn't meant to see that *opps* when the shopworker grabbed the bigger one. I suspect they ran a little con on him, charged him for a smaller real one and grabbed the larger fake instead. He thought the accident was in his favor so he never complained. I only know 1) The play of color and size in the opal I have would have cost a small house deposit if it had been real and there is no way he brought that as a uni student when we first go together and 2) A real opal would never have stood up to the wear and tear I have put it though - I literally never take it off, it comes for me on runs, in the salt water, in the shower etc all things that would have destroyed a real opal many years ago. 3) A friend brought a pair of earrings that matched my necklace (not on purpose) and she confirmed that my necklace and her earrings made up the stores imitation opal birthstone set. I love that fu**ing stone. I don't wear much jewelery, but I haven't taken that necklace off in three years. I have literally told him that if we get married one day, I'm having the thing pulled off the necklace and set into a ring (thats gonna be an awkward conversation with a jeweler). If I told him he'd probably feel really bad about it and want to get me a replacement. But I love the stupid thing so I won't tell.

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Final score:

128points

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Scagsy 4 years ago

A fake purchased through love is far better than a million dollar genuine bought just because you can.

108points

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I knew he was going to propose.

The man is so easy to read, he’s my open book! I love that about him, he wears all his emotions on his face. He’ll plan a trip for my birthday months in advance but then be so excited and proud about surprising me that he has to tell me straight away or make me guess where we’re going.

He’s not so cracking at surprises, so he’s always SO proud of himself that he surprised me that one time, and that I had no idea! Except I did, I heard him talking to his grandad about the ring and saw the heart shaped lump in his pocket, plus he’d been talking about marriage all the time thinking he was being sly. I’ll take it to the grave, it honestly makes him so happy and he’d be so disappointed with himself if he thought he’d given it away.

God I love that man

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Final score:

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Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

"God i love that man".... sums it up perfectly. :D

76points

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My SO thinks we've done a really great job teaching our dog not to get on the sofa.

In reality, he's exceptionally well trained to not go on the sofa when she's home. He jumps off sharpish when he hears her car park up outside.

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Scagsy 4 years ago

The DOG is keeping the secret in this one lol

81points

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However, if you decide to share a secret or a difficult matter with your significant other, you should also consider the right time to do so. Generally, if either one of you is drunk, before bedtime, when you’re angry, and when you’re tired or ill are the worst moments to talk about problematic subject matter.

Most importantly, you shouldn’t forget that there are many valid reasons why you may decide to keep a secret from your other half. You shouldn’t defend yourself for doing so, either. Not revealing something you feel uncomfortable, embarrassed, or hurt about is totally fine as long as it doesn’t hurt your current relationship and total sense of happiness.

Few years ago my wife lost her grandfather, was working a sh*tty job, and was developing some of the medical issues we're currently dealing with. One night I went out to start her car to warm it up before her shift, and found a parking ticket. Pocketed it, paid it, and tossed it without her knowing. She didn't need that on top of everything else.

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Final score:

116points

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Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

it's stuff like this, that shows real love..... knowing when your partner is at their limit, and taking care of the little things that would be the "straw that broke the camel's back".

82points

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My boyfriend loves to show me memes/funny posts that he thinks I would find really funny, but I spend more time online than he does, so I've usually seen them well before he shows me. Every so often I pretend I haven't yet seen a post just so he gets the satisfaction of being the first to show me.

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Final score:

110points

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Naima Ivansdóttir 4 years ago

same. he once told me, "apparently you've seen everything i want to show you" with a sad face... i know he does it to cheer me up so i started pretending i never saw the posts and memes he sends me :D

50points

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I feel really bad about how much money he spends on me (food, gifts, gas money) and he refuses to let me pay him back so sometimes I slip $5 and $10 bills into his wallet, pockets, and dresser drawers for him to "find". If he gives me his card to go into stores to buy something I use mine instead and don't tell him. He'd be really really sad if he found out because he loves taking care of me.

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104points

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Thomas Turnbull 4 years ago

That’s so nice of you

41points

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#10

The first piece of jewellery I bought my wife was a necklace. We went on holiday and she lost it.

I said I would replace it but it wasn’t the same, she was upset that she’d lost it for sentimental reasons.

I emailed the hotel and of course they hadn’t found it. So I bought a replacement and told my wife they found it.

YuccaYucca Report

Final score:

101points

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Demian 4 years ago

Plot twist: your wife knows you actually bought a new one but she's pretending not to know so You'll feel good

128points

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#11

That just about every year I have to text her brother to remind him it’s her birthday or he won’t even realize and never reach out to her. It upsets her that he forgot again, and I’ll usually let it go until late in the evening, and then shoot him a quick reminder. He’ll call her, she gets so excited he remembered and it means the world to her. It’s not about making him look good, it’s about making her happy.

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Tabitha L 4 years ago

That last line says it all.

56points

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#12

my SO’s first language isn’t english. he always says “really much” instead of “a lot.” i won’t tell him it’s incorrect, i love when he says “i love you really much.”

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Demian 4 years ago

Awwwn

32points

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#13

My exSO used to read me chapters from whatever book he was reading at the time. It was usually me that initiated it, mostly because it felt so warm and intimate, but also because I knew he had dyslexia and dysgraphia as a child so it would give him a little boost of confidence. But this also meant he was actually really terrible at reading stories. I’m talking pure monotone, it made any book extremely boring and I would cuddle up next to him so I could see it and read it in my head as he read. But I liked to think the good outweighed the bad, and I never told him!

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ChimeraBubbles 4 years ago

I kinda like it.

25points

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#14

His favorite dip is like 80% mayo. He has a terrible aversion to mayo. His mom has made it when he's not been around his whole life, and now I continue the charade. (It's a really good dip.)

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89points

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Luca Valerio 4 years ago

Do you have a recipe for us? ☺

42points

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#15

My wife once did the joke:

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

Over text with me. I "fell for it" because I knew it would make her happy.

She loves talking about how she "got me" and it makes her so happy I can't bring myself to tell her I was the one who told her the joke in the first place.

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Final score:

88points

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postboredom 4 years ago

She is really really lucky

20points

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#16

My girlfriend moved in with me a few months ago and wanted to split the monthly bills. I was already covering all of it so I was ok just continuing that way but she was insistent. She's also not making too much so instead of telling her the real amount, I told her a lower, but still believable amount to pay. It isn't much but I feel a little better knowing that she's saving up a bit more every month than she would've otherwise.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and the great advice! She's definitely marriage material, I'm shopping for the ring now (that's where a good amount of the extra money has been going!). The rest of the money is definitely going towards a down payment.

As for hurt feelings and sharing responsibilities, if she ever found out, she'd understand and appreciate the gesture. She's in her last year of school with a nice job lined up for afterwards already so we can always revisit finances later. Either way, she's amazing so I don't think she'd take it poorly.

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Final score:

85points

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Aski Markup 4 years ago

You're both keepers 💖

40points

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#17

My wife is a huge animal lover...volunteered at local shelters and such before our kids were born. One night years ago she was leaving work and outside the front door, she found a small bird, probably a sparrow, on the sidewalk. It didn't run or fly away so she assumed it was hurt. She ran back inside, got a box, and searched online for a bird rescue and found one about 20 to 30 min away. She drove the bird there, dropped it off, and they took her information because they said they would send her a card as a thank you. This was at least 6 or 7 years ago and she still brings it up every so often and remembers that they "never sent that card".

They did send the card thanking her for bringing the bird in for help. The card also said they euthanized the bird because it had broken bones in its wing, maybe from being hit by a car in the parking lot. I read it and crammed the card deep into the trash because I didn't want her to get upset that the bird she tried so hard to help had to be euthanized.

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Final score:

81points

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Thomas Turnbull 4 years ago

Some secrets are best kept

44points

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#18

My wife saw a small dog on the side of the highway on the way home from work one night. It had been raining and the poor thing was soaked and she couldn’t catch it. She called me so I came out, got the dog wrapped up in a blanket and got ready to head to the humane society when she discover she dropped her keys somewhere in the grass.

I found the keys about 15 minutes later and we took off to see if this pup were chipped or not. There was no chip unfortunately, no tags and no way of finding ownership. My wife was so concerned about the pup, she insisted that they call and tell us what happens with her.

The next day, I get a call from them. The poor pup was riddled with cancer, which could be why it was abandoned in the first place. They ended up having to put the sweet thing down. I told my wife that they were able to contact the owner and the dog would be going home. It would have broken her heart to know that the last few days of that dogs life was being hungry and wet.

MrReey Report

Final score:

77points

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Jayne Kyra 4 years ago (edited)

If you cannot afford to humanely put a pet down when they need it, you do NOT deserve a pet and are a disgusting piece of human garbage that deserves to rot.

112points

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#19

My wife planned a surprise 40th birthday party for me. I found out this was in the works because I found the invitation. It had fallen out of a stack of papers in her planner. I moved the planner as I was cleaning up and it slipped out onto the floor. This was 5 months before the party. The day of the party I just played it cool even though I knew what was going to happen. I walked into the room, everyone yelled, “surprise!!!” and I gave the biggest “oh my god I can’t believe it, I’m so surprised!” There were so many times where people accidentally gave it away and I just played dumb. After the party she asked if I knew. “Of course I didn’t know! How could I have known!” Can’t break her heart like that. She put a lot of work into the party and it was amazing!

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Final score:

73points

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GFSTaylor 4 years ago

A friend organised a surprise 30th party for her boyfriend. The secret was kept successfully, but she remarked she'd spent so much time on secretive phone calls, he probably wondered if she was having an affair.

23points

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#20

My wife thinks that our beta fish mojito lived for like 5 years. What she doesn't know is that the role of mojito has been played by 3 separate beta fish over that time. RIP mojito 2 and 3.

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Final score:

71points

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Pseudo Puppy 4 years ago

TWIST: she knows it's been played by 3 different fish, but didn't want you to be disappointed that your efforts to hide it from her didn't work.

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#21

That one of her biggest passions makes absolutely no sense to me. She's a jewelry artist, works for an actual jewelry company as a day job, and then makes stuff of her own to sell online (though lately she's been busy and hasn't done much of the second, though I'm trying to help her a bit so she can do it more.) And she just loves rocks. She'll come home with a bag full of rocks, practically jumping, telling me how she got all these for $50, and then go through the whole bag and show me every rock, tell me how this one is a so and so, and you can tell because it's this color and this hardness and feel how smooth it is and can you see the imperfection here and it just... It all goes way over my head.

And when I say rocks, I mean both actual rocks and gemstones. I've seen her get equally excited over a rock in a driveway as she has over some blue crystal she got from an auction. And every now and then I go online and research about these things so that I can talk with her about it, because holycrap her smile when she talks about those rocks she'ssobeautiful. But like, after I close the webpage going "Yeah, I know all about the difference between a ruby and a sapphire now!" (I literally only fucking know those names because of Pokemon), I basically immediately start forgetting stuff. Because... like... they're rocks? It's just dirt that hardened and got pressurized at the right way at the right kind of heat, or however they formed.

But on the other hand, it's completely fine that I always forget stuff about the rocks, because she loves telling me about them, and so far hasn't seemed bothered that she's had to tell me twice (or more), just excited that she could tell info.

Aaronnith Report

Final score:

67points

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postboredom 4 years ago

I love this person !! S/he are really great for doing that

28points

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#22

Several years ago, my husband (BF at the time) worked for a small company owned by a very good friend of ours. I spoke with the friend quite a bit, and he confided in me that my husband was not a good employee, pretty unreliable, and the only reason he hadn’t been fired yet was our friend knew he was having a rough time after his mom died. I had also recently moved out of state to take care of my sick dad. My husband refused to come with me because he felt he couldn’t leave the company.

I was having a conversation one day with my husband and he mentioned another friend of his was having a hard time at this other company but felt he couldn’t leave because he had a baby on the way. He said, “I’d offer him my job if I thought my boss would hire him.”

So I conspired with our friend/the boss to get the other friend to quit his job and pretend he got fired. My husband then decided the only honorable thing to do was fall on his sword and give up his job to give to the other friend. He “talked” with the boss and “convinced” the boss to let him make the move. And it played out like that and my husband moved in with me. He ended up getting a job he liked better and he was happier being with me, so his performance was better.

We are still very good friends with the boss. To this day, we’ve kept the secret and it’s been almost 10 years. And every time I see him, he whispers in my ear how proud he is that my husband was able to move in with me and grow into a much healthier adult. But we’ll never tell him, because he’d be so embarrassed if he knew what our friend thought of him as an employee.

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Final score:

66points

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Naima Ivansdóttir 4 years ago

this is a little too manipulative for my likings...

31points

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#23

How much her apartment cleaning service costs.

My best friend growing up, practically my brother, owns a cleaning service. So I get the "owners' rate" -- they clean my house for $60/visit, which is insanely cheap here. When I first met my girlfriend, at some point in conversation it came up that I use a cleaning service, and she joked, "Oh, big shot pays other people to clean his house," so I told her how, fortunately for me, it's not really a big expense.

Fast forward a month or so, and she spent like a whole Friday night and Saturday cleaning. We both work a ton during the week so I was like, "I'll pay for your cleaning service so we have more time to spend together on weekends." She wouldn't let me pay for it, but asked me to sign her up with my friend's service, and she just gives me the $60 (or pays for some common expense in that range). Thing is, I couldn't get the owners' rate for her, so it's really like $150/visit. She loves having a cleaning service, and appreciates having more free time -- but she wouldn't pay $150 for it. I don't really care about the money, just want her to be happy, so I don't tell her what it costs.

JamminOnTheOne Report

Final score:

61points

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Sara Rodrigues 4 years ago

It's nice that you want to spend more time together but that's crazy expensive! Cleaning the house takes 1-3 hours every weekend, so... But maybe it's just because I like to clean...

15points

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#24

Sometimes, I really like her singing. But a lot of the time, she's just straining way out of her range. It can almost sound like she is wailing or shouting. (Those aren't quite the right words, but I'm not going on the hunt for a thesaurus over this.) And it's fine. I mean, I can't really sing for sh*t, so even her bad singing is probably better than mine. But it can be really annoying. Sometimes, she'll be playing guitar to accompany herself, and she'll get so into the song she's singing that she'll start SLAMMING the strings. I don't know how else to describe it. She plays really well generally, but when she's excited, she hits the strings so hard they sound like they're going to break. That weird clanging music accompanied by the high, LOUD, cracking singing is truly cacophonous. I will never tell her. Not ever. She has so much fun doing it, I've decided that's just worth more than my temporary annoyance. I couldn't bear to let the wind out of her sails by telling her when she sounds irritating. It'd be a different story if she was performing at open mics or something, but she only plays to entertain herself.

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61points

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ChimeraBubbles 4 years ago

It's slightly annoying for you but crushing her spirit if you say anything. Well then, this is a good person.

22points

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#25

When I do the laundry, I throw away any of my husbands underwear, t shirts or socks with holes in them. True story, I walked into our bedroom one night to find him laying in bed, knees bent & his balls hanging out of a tear in his boxers. I laughed so hard I nearly pissed myself. Ever since then, I toss ‘em on the down low.

kveach Report

Final score:

61points

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Amanda Sherland 4 years ago

Well I keep folding his favorite underwear with the waistband barely hanging on, that must be love too.

19points

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#26

Every time before we leave the house I play a game where I try to guess what she's going to need while we're out and I grab it (e.g. warm hat and extra set of gloves, a small snack, inhaler, battery pack for phone, etc.)
Sometimes I like to slip it into her bag or purse without her noticing, other times I reveal that I had it all along in a critical moment.

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57points

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ChimeraBubbles 4 years ago

Lol. Same.

9points

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#27

When I was engaged to my now-husband, his mom paid up front for professional teeth whitening and convinced my husband's dental office staff to tell him he "won" a free teeth whitening the next time he came in for a cleaning.

I thought he would think it was BS and not do it anyway. He got home and was so excited, because "he never wins anything." It's been four years and I've never had the heart to tell him his mom actually paid for it and he didn't win anything.

np0st0 Report

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55points

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Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago

In the USA? You will be looked down on if your teeth aren't white enough.

13points

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#28

When my girlfriend was pregnant she liked to take baths every night before bedtime. Every now and again, I’d join her and enjoy that relaxing hot water. One day we are both sitting in the tub when she farted a big nasty fart. She and I both laughed and I gave her sh*t for possibly breaking the tub. Then there it was, I notice a few brown things in the water. Turns out she had poo’ed a little. I was so absolutely disgusted that I nearly vomited. I didn’t want to freak out because I know she would feel absolutely terrible and impossibly embarrassed. So I turned the jets on, added some bubbles, and sat there with her for another 10-15 minutes. Afterwards I suggested that we both shower off because I had added too much soap for bubbles. I still think about those poop chunks floating around next to me whenever I take a bath.

letstalktrash Report

Final score:

49points

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Aski Markup 4 years ago

That's funny but so gross, I would have been outta there like a sh*t, sorry, I mean shot!

36points

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#29

Not me but my parents. If my mom wants to hide literally anything from my dad, no matter what it is, she just puts it somewhere where he would have to bend over to see it. Doesn't matter if it's something like a package of oreos, if my dad has to bend over to find it he's never going to find it. I've tested it with my own snacks when I was still living with them to confirm it works. He'd be mad if he knew how many snacks we'd hidden from him simply because he doesn't bend over low enough to see it in the cabinet.

gothiclg Report

Final score:

47points

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Laana 4 years ago

So,hiding snack from dads is a world wide thing!

13points

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#30

When I go hiking with my wife I step on bear prints so she doesn't get nervous and make us turn around. I'll just be like make sure you are talking in case bears are around! But don't let her know I've seen a bear print*.

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Final score:

35points

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Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago

Good luck if the bear spots you.

16points

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#31

I totally forgot about this because I never speak about it!

My fiancee, before we were engaged, was making me a huuuge pillow for Christmas-- it was based off an item, a sword-thingy, from my favorite videogame, Transistor, and she'd been working on it for like a month before Christmas. I knew she was working on something, but had no idea what. I also somehow have this crazy knack for ruining her gift surprises, as in, I always somehow see them beforehand. It's a running joke. Anyways, the pillow.

When I entered her house, to ask her dad for her hand in marriage, I see the damn pillow, right on her couch! Another surprise ruined!

Her dad and I just looked at each other, and without any words swore to never speak of it.

That Christmas, I opened the gift and was "surprised" by the pillow.

Crazy thing is, I actually still got teary-eyed, because it is an impressive thing. It's beautiful. She is so proud that she kept that secret from me ;)

Two days later I got her with a genuine surprise-- engagement-- and thus to tradition of me surprising her but her never surprising me continues.

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Final score:

23points

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Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago

"to ask her dad for her hand in marriage" !!! When was this written? In 1850? :D

1point

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#32

How deeply I hate Big Bang Theory. My husband is a MASSIVE fan of the show. From being purely 'nerd sh*t' to a poor facsimile of 'Friends' he's been following it from the start. Now with Young Sheldon he's found another reason to cackle madly along to another terrible laugh track. And I will sit beside him, madly cackling as well, because it just makes him so. Damn. Happy. Sheldon can die in a dumpster fire. But I'll burn with him before I tell my husband how badly the show sucks

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Final score:

22points

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Fish Boden 4 years ago

Your a better human than me, I'd rather set my tv on fire....

13points

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#33

My boyfriend has ADHD and sometimes he thinks he said something to me, sometimes important, sometimes not,but actually he just said it in his head and doesn't remember it. Since his ADHD makes him a little unyelding in arguments also, no matter what the argument or debate is about, when he says he has told me something before, every once in a while I say to him "yeah, I must've forgot" or "yeah, you did.", just to keep him from feeling so out of control and upset. Every once in a while I tell him "that never happened though" or "you said it in your head, not out loud", and that has improved his ability to recognize when he actually says something and when he doesn't.

It's a small price to pay for something he has no control over.(he is medicated but does not go to therapy)

JoysticksT Report

Final score:

21points

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Dave van Es 4 years ago

Not just ADHD, i have the same problem at times due to a tumor that was growing there. Even after removal, it won't go away. I still sometimes only say things in my head

7points

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#34

One year for Christmas, she was trying to surprise me with something, but I hate surprises. I was out of a job at the time and didn't want anything extreme because I knew I couldn't return the favor. I told myself I wouldn't snoop, just ask a few questions and express that I didn't want anything big bc poor. She decided to try and casually ask me if I was still interested in a concert for my favorite band, and I immediately knew. Her face gave it away. I knew she got tickets, but it was more. She got us meet and greet tickets, and I found out a few days later after her face kept giving it away. Christmas came and I was right. But I didn't need to act, I was really happy. It was an amazing gift, and we had an amazing time. She was so proud of herself for pulling it off without telling me. I'll never tell her I knew, just because she was so happy.

cwe73 Report

Final score:

19points

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Kenzie 3 years ago

What band?

1point

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#35

My girlfriend loves for me to tell her stories at bedtime. After the first time I ever told her a story, I asked her how she liked it. She fell asleep during the first few sentences, but didn't want to hurt my feelings, so she told me she loved it.

Now she brags about how amazing my stories are, and how I'm such a good story teller. Problem is, I've only ever told the same 2 beginnings of stories before she's asleep. Every single time. I don't think she knows that I know she falls asleep, but after 4 years of telling stories, I'm not sure how to tell her.

snailman4 Report

Final score:

19points

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TS Rhodes 4 years ago

Don't tell her. She loves the sound of your voice and it makes her feel safe. Enjoy that.

11points

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#36

My husband has been buying me a dozen roses for every special occasion since we started dating. Every birthday, our anniversary, Mother’s Day, etc. without fail, he will somehow manage to come home with a dozen red roses. What he doesn’t know is that I do not give two singular shi*ts about bouquets of flowers, especially roses, because they’re expensive and then they just die and rot. I honestly would rather have a potted plant because then at least it would live longer than a week. But he’s the furthest thing from a romantic, and has very little concept of sentimental gestures. So the fact that he drives so far out of his way to the same little floral shop and pays whatever outrageous amount (he’s usually very financially reserved) they charge for already dying flowers is just so out of character for him that I know he is really trying to be sweet. So when he’s “running to the liquor store” on Mother’s Day, and he’s gone for three times longer than he should be, I dig out the dusty vase and I act surprised and I give him a big hug and kiss and act like I am in love with them. Every. Single. Time.

munchinlunchables Report

Final score:

19points

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ChimeraBubbles 4 years ago

My partner surprises me with packets of my favourite crisps. They swear up and down that they're not romantic at all because they don't buy flowers but buying me something I like is a romantic gesture. I'm never telling.

10points

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#37

Occasionally I hide bananas then make them reappear when they are brown just so she will make Banana bread.

"Look! You bought these bananas and no one ate them so they're brown...I'm not about to waste these so why don't you make some banana bread or something."

Richard-Hindquarters Report

Final score:

18points

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Dana Grunwald 4 years ago

Now I want banana bread too!

9points

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#38

My SO got me a beautiful necklace for our one year anniversary! It says love in a hundred languages when you shine a light through it, he was so excited to give it to me and so pleased he'd gotten me such a good, romantic present...

the only problem was that my best friend had been given an identical necklace from her boyfriend on her birthday a week prior. He had no way of knowing and was so happy to get me such a unique gift that my friend and I just co-ordinate so we never wear them at the same time

smolkitten96 Report

Final score:

18points

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tangy chip 4 years ago

The same thing happened to me, just with friends. My best friend got me a cookies-and-milk best friend necklace. I was milk. A week later, my other best friend gets me the SAME cookies-and-milk best friend necklace. I was cookies. Both of my friends had coordinated to wear the necklaces on Mondays and Fridays. I simply stole both of the necklace sets out of their backpacks and made it so I had both of the cookie necklaces. I wore that on Mondays and Fridays and tucked it under my shirt when I saw the other best friend coming. They never caught on

3points

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#39

He is terrified of bees/wasps. They are all "bees" to him. Completely terrified. Just the word "bee" will get him to start nervously looking around. If he was driving the car and a bee got in the window, I'd be afraid for my safety because there is a solid chance he'd accidentally crash. He is very embarrassed about his fear though, he knows it's irrational. He can't seem to help it.

So I have developed a sixth sense about the presence of bees. If we're outside and I see one buzzing around, I'll make sure I either stand in his way so he can't see it, or I'll make an excuse for him to go inside. I've found wasp's nests in and around our house, and I take them out while he's at work and then never say a word about it. If a wasp comes around and he sees it, he'll run away, but then I'll hunt it down and kill it so when he comes back out, he can have the peace of mind of seeing it's corpse (from a distance).

He doesn't know that I've been on 24/7 bee patrol for him for the past three years. I'm afraid he'd feel humiliated if he knew, and maybe even get depressed about it. But I don't mind. They're just wasps and honeybees, lol.

DROPTHENUKES Report

Final score:

18points

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Thomas Turnbull 4 years ago

Try not to kill the honey bees please

21points

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#40

40% of my company was laid of systematically over a 2 year period. I built up my resume, networked and made sure I had a place to land if sh*t hit the fan. I also worked my ass of at the job to make sure I was the one they kept if they did not go under. ended up staying with company, getting a raise and a promotion and was pretty instrumental in turning the company around. She and the kids have no idea how close we were to losing my job and then subsequently our home. I still remember sobbing in the shower and giving myself a pep talk in the mirror many mornings and saying, "you can do it - just put all the fear out of your mind and be mentally tough."

[deleted] Report

Final score:

18points

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Plumpapollo 4 years ago

This can't be healthy

26points

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#41

GF locked her keys in her running car with her dog inside when picking up her daughter from daycare. I lied and said I had AAA so it’d be free to get lockout service. In reality I ordered AAA on the spot and paid the extra to have same day service so she didn’t have something else to worry about.

MaybeClassy Report

Final score:

18points

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$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 4 years ago

No idea what this is about. The only AAA I know is a small battery.

3points

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#42

I ALWAYS pee in the shower. Every single time she's not there with me. I mentioned it once kind of half-joking and she was so disgusted, but I don't see the harm so I never stopped.

Bauz3 Report

Final score:

17points

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Monday 4 years ago

Personal opinion: peeing in the shower is fine but don't you dare poop in it

18points

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#43

I always watch ahead in Game of Thrones.

They talk during each episode, and I can tolerate it better if I've already seen the episode.

Mortuan Report

Final score:

16points

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B 4 years ago

People who talk during TV shows and films should be strapped up and ball-gagged.

2points

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#44

The remote didn't disappear. I accidentally put it through the washing machine and destoreyed it and threw it out in a panic.

knnbreakingnews Report

Final score:

16points

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TheHolyFatherOfToast 4 years ago

OM FRIGGIN GOD THAT'S HILARIOUS!!!

10points

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#45

That I secretly love his dog. The dog came with him, and he came completely untrained and full of bad habits from living with him/his parents. He'd never owned a dog before and had no idea what he was doing with a puppy and I felt the need to step in for my sake and the dog's sake. That f**khead was a doozy; I'm a lifelong dog owner and I've never encountered a dog more difficult to train. He f**kng sh*ts on the floor when he's upset about something, and he'll intentionally wait until everyone is asleep to do it or he'll sneak into a side room. When he was neutered he sh*t on the floor at least twice a day for almost a month. He's always been super defiant and I had to bend over backwards to make him a decent dog. My SO thinks I hate him, because I spend so much time lamenting how much of an assh*le he is and how hard he was to train. Jokes on him, that good old boy jumps up and spoons with me the instant the SO goes to work.

corgibutt19 Report

Final score:

16points

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Anne 4 years ago

Dogs like set borders, they love knowing what their boundries are!

11points

#46

I am notoriously difficult to surprise - I ask too many questions and it bothers me when things dont add up.

My husband was so proud of the fact that he kept his proposal a surprise and I didnt expect it. In reality, I texted my best friend the day before with a list of 6 reasons why I suspected he was going to propose to me that weekend. I'm not going to tell him though - the proposal was really sweet and he put so much thought into it.

carpecupcake Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Bunzilla 4 years ago

Well, OP was still surprised by how sweet and thoughtful it was, so there's that.

1point

#47

Spiders. She hates them with a passion and if I find one crawling around when she isn't around, I'll take it outside and never tell her. If one is nearby and she knows, I have to squish them as if they killed my dog.

PotentiallyTrue Report

Final score:

15points

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Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago

I don’t like spiders, and my husband is afraid of heights. So, he’s the spider assassin in our household, and I’m the ladder climber. We respect each other’s fears.

7points

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#48

This Xmas he got me a stuffed animal of my favorite Pokémon- which is really sweet except I already have an exact copy of it on my shelf, since before I met him. Now it just has a friend :)

I don’t blame him at all, he’s very allergic to my roommate’s dog & his place is directly between my place and my work so he’s over very rarely.

spirashun Report

Final score:

11points

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#49

I use the "strictly decorative" towell to dry my hands.

Clearly, even though you yell at me when you see me do it, I'm not actually damaging / destroying / "making it nasty"... Otherwise you would have noticed by now after I've used it hundreds of times without you knowing.

We're gonna survive.... It's okay...

cnfit Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Ryukei Panda 4 years ago (edited)

I don't get the point of decorative towels or pillows. I like to have nice towels and pillows to use, not just to look at.

21points

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#50

When I see bugs in the apartment I always tell my wife it was only one bug so she doesn't get scared. Then I kill the bugs.

theonlydidymus Report

Final score:

10points

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Shelbie Ernst 4 years ago

aww

1point

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#51

How much it hurt that she did not do anything for my 50th birthday. We are born almost a year apart. This year for her 49th I took her on a cruise and signed her up for a scuba excursion. Which she has always wanted to do. She loved it of course.

Her 50th is next January, I started planning started planning for it since June. I have contacted old friends from high school and family to get a bunch of them to go on a cruise for her 50th. It was going to be a surprise but someone let it slip at Christmas. When she found out I figured she would do something for my 50th since she never does anything for any of my birthdays. Nope, got me a store made cake.

bwp241 Report

Final score:

9points

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StinkyMonkey 4 years ago

What? That's a c**p move. And not telling her is not helping. If she never does anything for his birthdays then either she doesn't care or thinks that he doesn't and either way it needs addressing. Stuff like that creates resentment and not giving her the chance to do something about it is making it fester. You don't get to keep things like that from your partner, they deserve a chance to make their own decisions. I get that people want to avoid hurting each other but s**t like this is just making it worse.

37points

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#52

I threw out the top to the flatware holder in the dishwasher. He would make us put all the forks in individually and I can't live like that.

I'm a monster.

ThursdayNextian Report

Final score:

8points

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Jennifer Crompton 4 years ago

this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

1point

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#53

Her cooking is terrible. Bland, tasteless, sometimes not even cooked properly. Actually most times not cooked properly.

I hate it when I mention that I like to cook and am quite good at it, because she gets upset that she can't "look after her man".

I've tired to make it so that we both make dinner together. At least then I can make sure the food is done properly.

shadowbannedkiwi Report

Final score:

6points

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ChimeraBubbles 4 years ago

There's so much wrong here I don't know where to start. Step aside, let the man cook. It doesn't mean you can't look after you man (whatever tf that means). Maybe stop feeling so insecure that you have to adhere to traditional gender roles in order to feel worthy..? I don't understand one person having the better skill and then not letting them use it for both of your benefits.

15points

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#54

That as much as I love her and her kids, our lives would be so much easier if she just let her ex have custody. She has a disability and they're both toddlers. I'm never going to have time to myself between work, tending to her needs, and tending to the kids needs, plus we like a home with pets.

None of it is fair to me, and I know in love both parties should try to give 60% but, I give 90% and I just don't need that to be 100%. I didn't make the kids, never wanted kids (honestly still don't) I just fell in love with their mother, and if I want ber, I have to want them too. They aren't bad kids, they're really sweet despite their fathers side of the family... I just dont...want the burden. She thinks her disability is the biggest burden I could possibly face.

It isn't. Its the easiest part.

Edit: Everyone is being really supportive in this thread and if you're here to tell me to leave, sorry, no. I love her, I love her kids, I don't love having 100% responsibility. That doesn't change anything though.

The point of this comment was not to say I don't want to be with my partner. It was only to say I wish it could be just us two. It isn't that way, it never will be that way, and I'm okay with that.

I just wish I met her before him. We'd be flying around the world instead of preparing for a looming custody battle.

AlextheLyonnn Report

Final score:

6points

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Aski Markup 4 years ago

OK, this is just sad.

15points

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#55

I have about 2000 books and I keep buying them and stashing them when she's not around.

maddermonk Report

Final score:

5points

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ADHORTATOR 4 years ago

What could be wrong in buying books?

10points

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Other than cheating, what secret do you keep from your SO to prevent upsetting them?

Patti Vance 4 years ago

not my ex but his boss who was a wonderful person before this happened. he volunteered to dog sit my furbaby while we went away for a few days over 4th of july. he didn't really know about dogs & the 4th & the noise. he took his family out fo rdinner that night & when they got back sally had jumped the fence. i later found out that he & his family plastered they community w/flyers offering big reward for return, did find her. he then took her to the vet to make sure she was okay then to the groomers to make her pretty for my return. i didn't find out about this for almost 6 yrs.

12points

Beto River 4 years ago

I secretly text or send a message in FB to all of my wife's family & friends on her birthday to remind them to congratulate her... 16 years and counting.

Victoria Swift 4 years ago

When we had our first baby she was premature emergency C-section after being admitted to the ER for two days in preterm labor. Apparently, after dropping me at the ER door, my husband parked his car on a side street and didn't go back for it until the third day. During that time the city had done road construction and it was towed! But he didn't tell me! Since I had been up for 48 hours straight, I was exhausted. My baby was admitted to NICU, but I couldn't get down there to see her until I was rested and the nurses cleared me. So my husband told me he would sit with her. For eight hours I slept peacefully thinking my wonderful husband was in NICU bonding with our brand new daughter. In REALITY he had his sister pick him up and they went on a wild goose chase to find the damn car. I was none the wiser. I only found out three years later when his sister let it slip. I was so mad! My poor little scared baby was in NICU all by herself for the first hours of her life! The big oaf!

Imperfekt 4 years ago

My hubby and I spent the weekend at his oldest daughter's house. I was so tired from the car trip there I just fell asleep on the couch. After I woke up my step daughter made a comment about how my snoring could rattle the rafters. My husband groaned and shook his head and said: I've been telling her for all these years that she doesn't snore and you just ruined it."

30 Wholesome Secrets That People Keep From Their SOs

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