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“I’m Not A Regular Mom, I’m A Cool Mom”: 50 Neat Mom Memes That Sum Up The Absurdity And Hilarity Of Raising Kids (New Pics)
Parenting has always been hard. All the meal planning, cooking, clothing, coordinating—the list goes on, but you get the idea. Thankfully, there are plenty of rewarding moments, too.
The Instagram account 'Neat Mom' perfectly captures both the highs and lows of this lifelong journey. As you might've seen from our first publication on this light-hearted online project, its feed is basically the epitome of the phrase "That's funny because it's true."
So continue scrolling to immerse yourself in the laughs and giggles that come from raising kids!
More info: Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Andrew Hall 3 years ago
It was Christmas. Aged aunts, uncles and grandparents sitting around and my young cousin runs in and says very loudly, ' Is f**k a swear word?'
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Yes, but what was the song? "She Blinded Me with Science", "Good Vibrations", "Soul Finger",...
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago (edited)
LOL..omg the image of that baby belting out "A WHOLE NEW WOOORRLLLDD!!" directly into a vibrator in front of guests has me in absolute stitches!! I would have ducked UNDER the couch!! lol
Anon822209 3 years ago
If your child *doesn't* do this, I guarantee s/he will do something equally embarrassing. Trust.
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KindyKaiako 3 years ago (edited)
I'm a kindergarten teacher, one of my three year olds walked in with a red circle on her forehead. Apparently she'd suctioned mums toy to her head and run around the house screaming "I'm a unicorn!"... Fyi, kids tell us everything hahaha
RELATED:
#2
Ingrid Smith 3 years ago
that's why babysitters are so terrifying. Where the HELL did mom go???
Random Person 3 years ago
I'd be scared if I woke up in Walmart regardless of where I fell asleep.
Vix Spiderthrust 3 years ago
Counterpoint: babies have no object permanence. Kipping off at home and waking up at Walmart is no different to them to kipping off at Walmart and waking up in the Cambodian killing fields.
Lauren S 3 years ago
I think they develop object permanence around 8 or 9 months, still pretty young.
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'Neat Mom' currently has over 1.1 million followers, but if all conditions remain the same, this number is likely to increase. Contrary to what many believe, the share of U.S. women at the end of their childbearing years who have ever given birth was higher in 2016 than it had been 10 years earlier.
According to a Pew Research Center analysis of U.S. Census Bureau data, some 86% of women ages 40 to 44 are mothers, compared with 80% in 2006.
#3
Shameless Hussy Review 3 years ago
The suit and body appearance are insignificant compared to the joy of beach and water. You go girl!
#4
#5
James016 3 years ago
We had a similar moment yesterday with our son. Just after he had his lunch, he blurted out "More butter please" After a few moments of laughter I told my wife that those 3 words make him 100% you.
Helen Davies 3 years ago
What is it with kids and butter? I swear the grandkids could live on it! They are like me!
Load More Replies... Lauren S 3 years ago
Babies often times look like the dad initially in order to get the father to accept the baby as his. Not often a problem in today’s society (I hope) but it’s a trait developed from when we were cave people to help keep the species alive. I know this wasn’t the point of the post, I just found it interesting.
Kristine Phillips 3 years ago
didn't look like the Dad that raised me, but my biological Dad I never met.
Load More Replies... Hélène Gresve 3 years ago
Everyone says my daughter is a mini-me. I tell them wait until she opens her mouth!
Ephemeral Mochi 3 years ago
sighing and rolling your eyes is toxic now?! I always knew it was kinda rude but wow I'm behind on these things!
Load More Replies...Not only are women more likely to be mothers than in the past, but they are also having more children. Overall, women have 2.07 children during their lives on average – up from 1.86 in 2006, the lowest number that has been recorded.
The recent rise in motherhood and fertility might seem to run counter to the notion that the U.S. had experienced a post-recession “Baby Bust.”
(However, it's worth mentioning that each trend is based on a different type of measurement. The analysis here is based on a cumulative measure of lifetime fertility, the number of births a woman has ever had; meantime, reports of declining U.S. fertility are usually based on annual rates, which capture fertility at one point in time.)
#6
#7
Kylie Mountain 3 years ago
The twist ending is that the dad is still alive
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Carol Emory 3 years ago
My favorite magnet on the fridge "You remind me of my husband, except you're not buried in the backyard!"
Michael Largey 3 years ago
"I told my wife that I wanted to be cremated. She made an appointment for next Tuesday!" - Rodney Dangerfield (of course)
#8
Joel Blue 3 years ago (edited)
The dog pancake. It is a ritual that resolidifies the pact between our species, dogs get the first pancake, toilets are not for drinking water.
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Fluffy mommy panda 3 years ago
I know the feeling I stop after adding more mix. Just like screw it. Everyone likes thick pancakes in my house.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 3 years ago
Been there, done that. Froze those puppies. Family ate pancakes for breakfast almost every day for like 3 weeks!
#9
Wood Carver 3 years ago
Snapped surely, or is that not a thing anymore.... oh no my old is showing lol
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Sergio Bicerra 3 years ago
Second word " Mother, just wondering... why do all those people don't believe you? You should make a tweet about this."
Pieter LeGrande 3 years ago
Well "namaste" or something that sounded a bit like that between burps, screams, smiles and dropped rattles
Wood Carver 3 years ago
Today my toddler did her first yoga pose, downward dog. People said she's just crawling but I know the truth
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Stardust she/her 3 years ago
If this took place in an Indian or South east Asian household I would probably believe it but the hashtags make it look fake
One reason driving down annual fertility rates is that women are becoming mothers later in life. The median age at which women become mothers in the U.S. is 26, compared with 23 in 1994.
This change has been caused in part by declines in births to teens. In the mid-1990s, about one-in-five women in their early 40s (22%) had had a child prior to age 20; in 2014, that share had dropped to 13%.
#10
Deborah B 3 years ago
The converse of this is there was no way to call them and tell them they'd forgotten to pick you up from your after-school debate club meeting.
Michelle Thiel 3 years ago
Sure there was. You use the school payphone to call home, let it ring twice, then hang up. Wait half an hour to see if your parent arrives. Repeat as necessary. :-(
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Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 3 years ago
My mom insisted on name, address and phone number of friends for just this reason. Made us carry quarters to call home if we were going to be late - and it better be for a good reason!
Nicola Roberts 3 years ago
Middle aged me, still remembers saying "No it's not dark, it's much lighter when you're outside"
Hales M 3 years ago
... sorry but did people suddenly forget that cellphones existed in the 90's. Sure kids didn't have them as early as they do now, but they would borrow someone else's or use a landline to call their parents who had cell phones... because it was the 90's. (Yes I was born in the 90s)
Leedle_Leedle_lee 3 years ago
my school has WiFi blockers so basically nothing works besides calling.
Beck 3 years ago
Before we had called id i could call home and say I was at the mall but I was never at the Mall.
Vix Spiderthrust 3 years ago
This comment left me with several questions, but the main one is: what is the difference between the mall and the Mall?
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#12
Laura Gillette 3 years ago
I remember when TV just ended at night and there was static til shows started again in the morning.
Tina Girard 3 years ago
Don't forget the snow. Gotta have, like, at least a foot. Even if he did live in Arkansas as a child.
Brenda Spagnola-Wilson 3 years ago
No shoes and in the snow! LOL! My kids didn't believe I actually had to walk 2 miles to school, no matter the weather, even crossing busy streets. They lived less than 1/2 mile from elementary, could ride bus. JH was 8 blocks away. But they had a bus because it was on a busy street. - they never crossed it. HS was the same, though they chose to walk the 1/4 mile.
Lauren Andrews 3 years ago
I walked downhill to get to school and up hill to walk home. It was awful 😖
#13
Carol Emory 3 years ago
And don't ever ask your Grandma for high heels at 13yo after your parents told you "no" several times. Puts Grandma in the dog house for a long time and all your future Birthday visits to Grandmas will be accompanied by a list of "Do not, under any circumstances, buy her........!!!"
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Sounds like you are speaking from experience.
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Namesareforlosers 3 years ago
And THAT'S why my kids no longer have a relationship with their grandmother (well, one reason).
Delays in childbearing have continued among women in their 20s: while slightly more than half (53%) of women in their early 40s in 1994 had become mothers by age 24, this share was 39% among those who were in this age group in 2014.
The Great Recession intensified this shift toward later motherhood, which has been driven in the longer term by increases in educational attainment and women’s labor force participation, as well as delays in marriage.
#14
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago
Just. This. Morning. Trying to explain "why crows are black" while trying not to backend multiple cars can def get....challenging.
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
And one child keeps asking why you don't go faster so "those other cars stop beating us" while another complaines that you're going 2 miles over the limit!
Rodney Bowie 3 years ago
...or is insistent that you "LOOK!" at whatever they are looking at, or holding, or watching, or whatever.
TheElderNom 3 years ago
My father did that when teaching my sister to drive, except he was screaming for his imaginary binky. I splurged for professional lessons instead of driving with him.
#15
James Doe 3 years ago (edited)
Saw a great explanation lately. 1. Yes of course adult actors are much preferable to film with, child protection laws etc. But 2. Every generation looks old to those who come after, because they have picked up habits and styles etc. that they keep when aging. Hence for the new generation that style and habits is the definition of old people. Seeing them on young people still makes them look old
Charlie Taube 3 years ago
Also smoking prematurely ages you, and I’ll bet a good chunk of the cast of movie from grease’s eras smoke.
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Jessica Cifelli 3 years ago (edited)
I think the youngest member of that cast was like 25 years old
Carole Reid 3 years ago
A lot of high school type movies have classrooms of students who look like they are in their thirties.
#16
Lamalo 3 years ago (edited)
Not sure what middle aged life you're living, but my laundry is never 8 bath towels...
Anouk T 3 years ago
Sometimes you don’t have a choice depending on storage arrangements in your house. I wish I didn’t have to fold my mini humans clothes but I don’t have a choice if I don’t want to trip over piles of clothes in the middle of the floor
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Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
For me, it's my husband's huge t-shirts (3XL) and boxers. They get an extra load to themselves, because it's all black and has to be washed cold, and it's a whole dryer hung with one item per line, it's folded in less than 5 minutes.
#17
Rebekah Landen 3 years ago
When my gma wants off the phone, she says "well, gotta go walk the dog." Sometimes we all call her and the dog gets walked 10 times a day lol.
Given these social and cultural shifts, it seems likely that the postponement of childbearing will continue in the near future.
But will the recent annual declines in fertility lead U.S. women to have smaller families? It is difficult to answer, but comparing the lifetime fertility of women who just recently completed their childbearing years with those 20 years earlier suggests that postponing births does not necessarily equate with lower lifetime fertility.
#18
indiecognition 3 years ago
After that, it's time for a light nappetizer before the main course
Microwaved Robot 3 years ago
My Father had, what he called, a Snap. Not long enough to be called Sleep but longer than a Nap = Snap!
Arliss Speace 3 years ago
More than once I have been asleep and dreamed I was bedding down for a nap.
Rita Lynn Lyman 3 years ago
My husband does this after work and it makes me so mad. I need his help in the evenings with our 8 month old and the house stuff. I'm like don't you know mom's never sleep?! Why do dad's get extra naps before bed!
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
Impossible for me, I finish the day SO tired that if I close my eyes I would sleep on my feet and wake up the next day on my kitchen floor
#19
RajunCajun 3 years ago
OMG, right! When I pulled up the carpet I could not believe what I found.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Do you write click baits by any chance?
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DC 3 years ago (edited)
Yeah, you damned boomer-bummers ruined everything for us. Playgrounds in the late eighties offered countless opportunities to severely damage yourself, though it hardly happened. Then, the replacery started - three swings and a fence round them were converted into one, effectively lowering the usefulness of said playground. The climbing devive that was just a huge third if a circle of a thick steel pipe with some tube halfloops, one right, one left, one right, ... vanished. All the ops to hurt yourself came away, although through my entire childhood, I've seen only one case where an ambulance was called: I had climbed the roof of a three-story wooden tower and was sitting on it. Some fat boy tried to climb it, too, but didn't find that the third board from bottom, left side, was thicker, just tried to get a hold elsewhere, lost said hold and tried to grab my foot. Of course, I made him let loose of my foot and he fell down. His Ma ran into a shop nearby (pre cellphone) and called an ambulance, which arrived a few minutes later. One of the medics yelled at her for occupying them with such a minor case of next to nothingery, ... anyway, YOU boomers made our stuff safe, you inflicted santized music upon us, PMRC and similar BS orgs, and now complain about us being oversensitive. You did this to us, and you didn't succeed in every case.
The Radio Demon 3 years ago
That was a rollercoaster from start to finish
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Linda Moore 2 years ago
Actually it was the greatest generation. Boomers were the ones rehabbing houses and rescuing the floors. I know, I was one.
Daycare Attendant Sun 3 years ago
Carpet over hardwood and classic tile is an affront and a sin, and I won't accept any other opinion on this matter
GoldfishCrackers 3 years ago
And hung all the motivational posters up all over the middle school??
#20
Slim Bluesbender 3 years ago
They were carefree and living in the moment then. Now they question every thought and decision.
Kostas Tsen 3 years ago
OK, but do you order it with extra tzatziki (yogurt-cucumber-garlic sauce)????
#21
Mirt 3 years ago
I am not pregnant and would absolutely still feel this way. It is atleast a 3 cookie minimum.
The Radio Demon 3 years ago
3? You heathen. It has to be an even number, but then, 4 is too close to 5 is half of 10, so why not have 10?
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Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
He's full of poo - smallest pack I've ever seen them sold in is 2 Oreos. He bought that and ate one - THAT was his grave error.
mrsmir 3 years ago
bROught her. he probably grabbed one from regular sized package
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Carol Emory 3 years ago
I'm a marathoner. 13.1 (Hours of Netflix watched in one sitting) and 26.2 (Oreo Cookies eaten while watching...)
Speaking of neat moms, around 29% of all mothers living with children younger than 18 are at staying at home. This marks a modest increase since 1999, when 23% of moms were home with their children, but a long-term decline of about 20 percentage points since the late 1960s when about half of moms were at home.
#22
Sm!lez Tub3z 3 years ago
I see what you did there :) (all star by smash mouth reference for those who don’t know)
Livingroom Panda 3 years ago
Fed to the rules and i hit the ground running
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Anon822209 3 years ago
No, see, that can't be right because Shrek I just came out a couple years ago and also 2001 was like a decade ago, tops. Tops
Phoenix Connor 3 years ago
My older sister was born in 2001 and she is pregnant. This child will know about Shrek, watch Shrek, and their favorite movie will be Shrek
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
The problem is getting the kids to hit the ground running. Mine are like "make me some food and help me with my homework."
#24
Desert Panda 3 years ago (edited)
You can beat that. Condolences for your loss..... I was in a similar place after finding my youngest brother hanging from my front door at the, he was 24. Time makes it better, alcohol won't. Maybe EMDR or CBT therapy too. I am now booze and drug free for 2 months. Chin up!
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#25
Nicola Roberts 3 years ago
I don't care if you have a spreadsheet, 1980 is about 20 years ago!
BG 3 years ago
My daughter, born in 2000, is having my first grandchild in February... I need to lie down.
ami 3 years ago
They ain't even my nephews and I feel like I'm aging too fast
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The Radio Demon 3 years ago
Happy birthday!!! And besides, 15 is a multiple of 5, so y'know, it's close enough.
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Susy Drizel 3 years ago
23. 2+3. 5. Everyone born after 2000 is five, correct.
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#26
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
Are you married to the one above who complained about blocked drawers?
#27
#28
Lisa H 3 years ago
As someone who attended school in 1993, I completely agree!
Load More Replies... Rita Lynn Lyman 3 years ago
If we had only known all our glitter unicorn trapper keepers would be gold in the future
Daycare Attendant Sun 3 years ago
Lisa Frank runs an online store now where you can purchase her art on clothing and stuff
#29
#30
#31
Dan Padgett 3 years ago (edited)
I have a pack of resistors. When my kid falls asleep, I open them and put them in line with the speaker. Still makes noise, just very little noise :) The toys that is. Unfortunately no way to add resistors to kids yet.
Deborah B 3 years ago
If it has speaker holes that the noise comes out of, cover them with strong clear tape to reduce the noise level.
Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
I took too long to compose my response & you snuck in with the solution :-)
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Barbara Skolly 3 years ago
My dad would put the batteries In backwards and then claim the toy didn't work lol
#32
Just Jeff 3 years ago
"What advice would you give to your kids?" "Don't you dare get rid of ANY of your jeans." I think it IS a parenting one you buzzkill.
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Anonymous 3 years ago
Not sure why you were downvoted. This is definitely true for me too
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Laura Gillette 3 years ago
I thought the rule was, if you were old enough to wear it the first time it was in style, you're too old to wear it the next time it's in style.
Brocken Blue 3 years ago
That’s kinda sad, really. I plan to wear bell bottom jeans and baggy cargo pants until I die and laugh at at notions of style until the judgemental folks get older and wiser (or die themselves, aging happens to us all)
Load More Replies... Maria Veronica 3 years ago
I don´t like jeans at all, they are unconfortable and not flattering, I don´t undertand why are the most popular clothing in America... well
Caleb R 3 years ago
This, but to my parents in 1997 with my toys. Just got into a LENGTHY discussion with my wife as to why I will be buying TWO of most of the toys we will buy our children. I will totally be taking advantage of their generation's nostalgia in 30-40 years. Retirement fund officially secured!
Momma Panda 3 years ago
But they probably won't fit anymore. So go get rid of them and spare yourself some dignity.
#33
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
I'll bet the house smelled like dairy air... (OK, I'll leave now...)
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
I've seen at least 3 varieties of this with different animals and I no longer believe this really happened.
cadena kuhn 3 years ago
I showed this tweet to my daughter and husband and they told me they did this to his best friend with chickens
Joshua Russell 3 years ago
I have always wanted to sneak a cow into someone's house in real life
Marie Claire Lafreniere 3 years ago
I had to snitch on my nephew once because he killed my sons cat in Minecraft… their relationship was never the same again afterwards
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
I don´t wanna be that guy, but both are not too young for videogames and electronic devices?
ami 3 years ago
Nah not really, most of them are introduced by 7 years old :)
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#35
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 3 years ago
That happened to me when I turned about twelve... Not even kidding. Turns out it's a symptom of depression.
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
Uhhhh ive been like that since covid started and im barely even a teenager??
#36
General Anaesthesia 3 years ago (edited)
With an ten-minute ad break every eight minutes on commercial television these days that isn't a problem any more.
Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
If we were to suppose that DVR wasn't around yet .... it wouldnt matter if it was a 10 minute instead of a 2 minute commercial break - we would still lull ourselves into a false sense of security - "now that I've peed, i think i still have time to grab something to drink .... oh I still have time, I'll quick gather the laundry and throw it in ... I'm sure ihave time, I'll grab a snack on the way back" and you'd still get the "Hurry it's back on!!!" Before you know it
Load More Replies... Maria Veronica 3 years ago
So many things to discuss about television and tvs like a 80s child
tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 3 years ago
I have the longer version of this screenshotted and DAMN it's hilarious Couldnt-yo...7540cc.jpg 
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 3 years ago
Kids will never understand not having a choice of what's playing...
Bored Phoenix (he/they) 3 years ago
simulating this by projecting youtube to the tv and treating it like cable
Bored Phoenix (he/they) 3 years ago
gods this entire thing is making me feel old and im a teenager
Load More Replies... Amber.exe (She/They) 3 years ago
Not me knowing this since I used to have direct tv service and stuff like that and now have Hulu
#37
Let’s All Just Try And Be Decent 3 years ago
In England we use: "well I'd better let you get on, I've taken up so much of your time" No one will admit that they're not busy because hanging up means a few minutes of alone time in silence!
Marley Marl 3 years ago
I admit it and I say, depending on the situation and person, this call isn't going anywhere and I gotta be somewhere. If they ask where, I say to the couch to watch tv or sleep. Either way, I'm gonna be honest.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 3 years ago
Goes with the "Bless their hearts" instead of "My God those kids are feral" and "I'm gonna pray for you" instead of "Are you out of your ever lovin' mind!!!"
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago (edited)
We Southerners are born with this phrase preprogrammed. I was never even aware of this phrase but I just realized I use it all the time and never even noticed it. Maybe it is all that sweet tea.... *sips thoughtfully* But the real pronunciation is "Lemme letcha go."
#38
Mirt 3 years ago
I still don't want to believe or even consider that a significant portion of indoor dust is made up of dead skin cells.
Impetus 3 years ago
It would be infinitely creepier if the skin cells were alive
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MrsGodezira 3 years ago
In our house the dust combines with the dog hair and doubles in size and number every time I pick any of it up. It's impressive really.
Donna Leslie 3 years ago
I read that too, and that an estimated 100 tonnes of space particles enter Earths atmosphere every day.
#39
Kate Jones 3 years ago
...and they've been getting back together and/or she's been pregnant ever since. It's been the longest pregnancy in the history of time. She's going to be 70 and they're still going to be putting out stories that she's 'finally having a baby.'
Kata H 3 years ago (edited)
The part, where you lost contact with the world and have no idea, what's happening outside because your are too tired and occupied with your kids. Happened with me before :)
Load More Replies... Maria Veronica 3 years ago
Like how machine time are those old magazines always at dentist office
#40
Owen Jarvis 3 years ago
I see no problem with being named after R2D2. It was often the cleverest robot. :]
KOTLC_Fan 🇺🇦 3 years ago
No, he was the worst! Every word he said was beeped out /s
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Natalia Maciel 3 years ago
As latinamerican THIS IS SO TRUE !!!!!!!! R2D2 was known as Arturito here
Load More Replies... #41
Mirt 3 years ago
After 17 years of marriage, all 3 kids are at sleepovers and we just eat wings in bed while watching TV and getting a good night's sleep. Getting a shower, getting dressed, putting on make up, leaving the house, spending money, and being hungover for what feels like 3 days after one glass of wine is no longer considered a good time.
Niki A 3 years ago
My husband tells people when the kids are not with us that we will go get a hotel room, order fancy food, watch TV.......and sleep.....
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Anonymous 3 years ago
Yes! When I say "Out" my dog goes and lays down just outside the entrance to the kitchen. He's a good boy!
Load More Replies... Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
After the events of the first large gathering my wife and I held after we got married, in our new house, I put crime scene tape up to block people from coming behind the kitchen island.
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
My husband in quarantine, all the time in the same square foot area with me
Daycare Attendant Sun 3 years ago
My favorite is when my father (I'm 31 and he's 61) insists on sleeping on the couch knowing fully well I need to be in the kitchen to get ready for work. And suddenly "Ugh, I guess I'm awake."
#43
Zodiac 3 years ago
I had a more shocking experience. My kid put milk BEFORE cereal!!!!!! I AM IN SHOCK!😠😱🤧
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
My friend did this!!!! The horror!!!!
Load More Replies... #44
Owen Jarvis 3 years ago
This is quite sweet, and well natured I think. Nobody knows what they're doing when they're a teenager.
neil jagurdo 3 years ago
No, now is when you see what kind of food these people have to snack on. Or drugs.
#45
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
I have 5... At this moment I have spent 10 minutes arguing with 5YO about brushing teeth and I really don't have the energy to go in to work tomorrow
#46
Rita Lynn Lyman 3 years ago
Or just roll up in the driveway and fall asleep in the car before you get in the house
#47
Nightmare 3 years ago
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY DID YOU DO THIS!
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Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
For those traumatized by the song the refers to a very young aquatic creature with many sharp teeth, hopefully reading this comment will help you deal with the "earworm" phenomenon (do doooooooooo do do do ... MahnaMahna .... doo doo doo doo .... )
#48
Owen Jarvis 3 years ago
I think i might be getting old, because my first thought was 'That's a pretty nice leaf blower.'
Headless Roach 3 years ago
You're never too young to appreciate a nice leaf blower.
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omg leaf blowers: making a noise, wasting energy, and basically much slower than raking. urgh.
#49
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
Maybe parents never could turn off that noise of our thoughts in our heads, I felt relatable in that way when I read it
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3 years ago
Leave me be for 5 minutes and I'm gone. At work, in a car, wherever. Just not when I'm in bed...
Daycare Attendant Sun 3 years ago
Dude, I leave my eyes closed for 8 seconds too long, and I'm out like a light
Kate Jones 3 years ago
Someone once wrote, "I can't believe there are people out there not drinking, no drugs, no therapy...Just out here raw-dogging life."
Upstaged75 3 years ago
I can't go to bed at night without taking all my prescribed meds. But I'm still a champ at napping in the middle of the afternoon. Or after work. Or whenever I get a chance. Naps are my favorite. :) I work from home, so sometimes I skip my lunch break and take a nap instead. I think I may have a problem.....
Bored Phoenix (he/they) 3 years ago
wait im supposed to be able to fall asleep at will without at least 10mg of melatonin and an hour of overthinking?
#51
Carol Emory 3 years ago
OMG! My mother got into a bad accident where they had to use the Jaws of Life to get her out of the car. She broke her left shoulder blade, right foot and three of her ribs. Do you know that woman, a week after the accident, is hobbling her butt into the kitchen after every sandwich I made for her to make sure there were no crumbs on her counter! Seriously lady! Sit TF down!
JessG 3 years ago
LMAO! You should see my Mom and I at family dinners, the rest of the family just grabs their popcorn while they giggle at our endless argument.."Mom, sit down, I've got this!!".."No YOU sit down, this is MY house!"...and back and forth, forever, until we die. Sometimes I'll sneak in the kitchen and quietly start the clean up, but, you know Mom ears. "HEY! You better not be doing dishes!!!".."I'm not! Just getting a drink!!" I
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
I fight like weekly against another new form of being exactly like my mom
Michael Sanders 3 years ago (edited)
Taking advantage of this benefit is such an awesome feeling.
#52
DC 3 years ago
The snorting, actually, is the cutest thing about the entire show. The pigs look like hairdryers ... recently found out Boris Johnson sees them the same way, was ashamed a bit...
#53
Evan Martin 3 years ago
I don't forget, but can go a say without eating no problem. "Hangry" is a foreign concept to me
Sharkie 3 years ago
I broke it somehow, I don't feel hungry anymore (well... Sometimes I do but not very often). I just have my normal day and only when I need more brain or physical power, I feel like I am about to faint soon... Also I am more irritable I think... But I can spend whole day and remember late at night that I completely forgot to eat...
#54
Kate Jones 3 years ago
After 35, you body stops cooperating with you so your brain compensates by enjoying little things in a weird amount. Like having a favorite spatula, or opening a package of new sponges, lol.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
The wonderful smell of a nice dishwashing liquid!
Load More Replies... Aria Whitaker 3 years ago (edited)
Can relate so much to this! The highlight of my weekend was finding a pack of hot dog buns at Super Target that had the SAME AMOUNT of buns as the hot dog package had hot dogs!! Hallelujah! Small miracles. Good Times. lol
#55
Abhorsen 3 years ago
We used an actual map. When we were lost depended on stranger's kindness for directions
Kate Jones 3 years ago
People talk about texting while driving and here we were, trying to read through intricate lines and street names from an unfolded map the size of your car while simultaneously driving and trying not to yell because there's a street on the map that doesn't exist on the road. Printing mapquest directions was really a step up.
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Arliss Speace 3 years ago
I love maps. I used to collect them. McDonald's had a series of them once. Also the maps were FREE when I was young.
Load More Replies... Shameless Hussy Review 3 years ago
Who remembers the Thomas Guides, maps in book form listing every single street in the Los Angeles basin? Mandatory acquisition when we moved there in 1985.
Historyharlot93 3 years ago
Remember AAA Triptiks? I loved them because you just turn the page and follow the highlighted route. My husband and Dad hated them because the maps didn’t face north on any page. I’ve never understood why that bothered them so much. You literally just turn the page and follow the highlighted route. It’s not like we were wilderness orienteering or anything.
Trophy Husband 3 years ago
I can drive to my mother's house 4 states away without directions and my daughter can't remember how to get to the store that is 3 streets away!
Kriss Ambers 3 years ago
This may sound very young of me, but I just can't comprehend how anyone got anywhere without GPS. I know people used maps, but I feel like I'd easily lose where I was, get totally lost, and be late for pretty much everything
Rita Lynn Lyman 3 years ago
Left lane, left lane, Left lane, LEFT LANE!!!! No I said left lane!
#56
Amber.exe (She/They) 3 years ago
I love how she said "good." To your pain making sure you know she's enjoying her day off and your pain
#57
Mrs Irish Mom 3 years ago
Quiet most of the day and the min my phone rings ill hell breaks loose 🙈
#58
ComfyPanda 3 years ago
Only 32 minutes?! I'm lucky to get to 15 minutes then s**t starts getting real.
#59
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
I entered my bedroom and see my husband watching Severance, I was mortally confused for a second, but he was only rewatching an episode when he was sleepy and not undertand a word
Carol Emory 3 years ago
My husband can totally relate to this. he also knows I don't like to go to a theater on opening night, so he goes by himself sometimes when it's something like a Marvel movie. Then, a few months later when we are streaming it at home, he knows to keep quiet and not spoil it, although I always know when something big is about to happen because he tenses up and keeps glancing at me to see my reaction to the Big Scene/Plot Twist.
#60
Evan Martin 3 years ago
Shouldn't be hating on what any individual does for self care (with obvious limitations). It's not about YOU. It's about them.
Carol Emory 3 years ago
Just make sure when you do the Cadaver pose in yoga, they don't hear you snoring......
Lisa H 3 years ago
...just one bottle? Nvm, I'm 36, one bottle has been enough for longer than I care to admit. *waits for the 'wait til you're older'crowd to chime in*
Evan Martin 3 years ago
But didn't you just kinda do a wait til you're older with your comment about being 36...
Load More Replies... #61
Tina Girard 3 years ago
Family not invited of course - they'd interrupt every 5 minutes to ask a question they can answer themselves by READING.
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 3 years ago
Omfg I have a cousin like this who used to live with us. We'd be watching a show or a movie or playing a video game and he'd be asking constant questions that whatever we were watching would answer if he'd just shut up and pay attention to it.
Load More Replies... ComfyPanda 3 years ago
I don't recall DEAR...but I do remember DARE. Drug, alcohol resistance education...I think.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
We also had D.E.A.D - Drop Everything And Draw. It was awesome, if slightly ominous-sounding.
Random Person 3 years ago
This was a thing that happened? Why does my generation not have this? I'd kill for this to have happened during elementary school!
Let’s All Just Try And Be Decent 3 years ago
They did not do that at English schools and I feel like I've missed out on a crucial part of upbringing
Ella Saylor 3 years ago
OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THIS I M ISS IT SO MUCH TAKE ME BACK TO FIRST GRADE
#62
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
A sweet doogo and birbs? I am dying from the cuteness! (I shall die happy).
Jerry Mathers 3 years ago
I picture these birds asking each other, "So why are we doing this"?
#63
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago (edited)
And for my poor wife... usually it's all MY laundry... Especially all those band T-Shirts.
#64
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
I just want 10 cents more than I can spend... I can spend a hell of a lot but hey...
#65
#66
Susan Bosse 3 years ago
My son would twirl my hair and I'd have knots all in it and I got it cut off when he was about 4. He rage screamed at me to "GO BACK AND TELL THEM TO PUT IT BACK ON!!!!!!" I checked with him until two years ago before getting my hair cut. He's 20 now. Loki haven't had it that short since.
#67
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
All ur blankeys iz MINE! (Hoodies and fleeces too!) I guess it's in that rule book men never get to read. LOL!
Anne Reid 3 years ago
Absolutely! My sister in law bought my guy a nice duvet for Christmas. I got a super luxurious robe. A week later, I asked where we could buy another duvet. “Did he ruin it already?” “Nope, need one for me. We both burrito and I need my own. So we don’t fight over the nice one.” She said we were geniuses.
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Fickle_Pickle 3 years ago
That’s my husband’s #1 complaint. I steal the blankets in my sleep and roll up like a burrito 😂
#68
Mirt 3 years ago
5:40am. My husband was late for work one time like 10 years ago and now every single night he has anxiety that he won't hear his alarm so it is set at megaphone level volume.
Julie 3 years ago
Thanks! This reminded me to check my volume and ask my wife to set her alarm too.
Load More Replies... Tina Girard 3 years ago
My husband and I compromised - he turned off the damned Tornado Sirens and settled for my elbow in his side.
Mercy Wanjiru 3 years ago
not to brag....but I wake up on the first ring lol. This has not improved my life in any way tho' so....
Tracey Budine 3 years ago (edited)
My Husband: *alarm goes off Taps Snooze *alarm goes off Taps Snooze *alarm goes off Taps Snooze *alarm goes off.... *Both my feet in the middle of the back, he goes flying off the bed and lands with a thud on the floor. I have literally never heard his alarm go off since. Problem solved.
Demongrrrrl 3 years ago
My college roommate was incapable of hearing her alarm clock, so I had to get up an hour early just to wake her u
Rita Lynn Lyman 3 years ago
Yes. Today they stated at 4ish so he could be up by 6 latest to leave at 6:15. He was still late and I heard EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. uhg. Loud
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
Alarm start at 4 Be up 6 to leave at 06.15 ? It's your husband my siamese twin ? Because that's me you described.
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Firstname Lastname 3 years ago
I always awaken before my alarm, but my man can sleep through 2 hours of the most annoying alarm noises known to man. It really puts a damper on my off days when he needs to be up early and I can't relax.
Rodney Bowie 3 years ago
I'm the one with 17 alarms. How in the f*ck do people function by just setting an alarm and getting up when it goes off, like, the first time? How?! HOOOOWWWW!?!? It seems like magic to me.
#69
Kate Ylst 3 years ago
I can't wait for low rise jeans to come back because I have a mommy belly that no high rise jeans can contain.
Vanessa Richardson 3 years ago
I’m the opposite—I have a mom belly too, and find great pleasure in wearing pants so high that they touch the bottom of my sport bra🤣 idk why it’s so comfortable to me. Lol
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#70
ComfyPanda 3 years ago
Only child here...but don't worry, I have 3 children now. So I'm getting a baptism by fire so to speak.
#71
Mirt 3 years ago
Something similar literally just happened to me. Thinking my son was sound asleep but then he randomly says, "mom, how do cucumbers become pickles?". This is what is going through his head at 10pm on a school night??
Cath Homer 3 years ago
I was once woken up by a panicking 4 year old who NEEDED to know "Do sharks have eyelids?". At 5am. FML.
Load More Replies... Shameless Hussy Review 3 years ago
Like the time that while bicycling with my grandson, he asked, "How do animals get new animals?"
Deborah B 3 years ago
"I don't know. Why do you think it's blue?" Let them come up with their own answer.
Lauren S 3 years ago
This is a great day time response. My response at night is, “It’s bedtime. Go to sleep.”
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Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
"Because there's nitrogen in the air, and nitrogen is blue." "What's nitrogen?" "The stuff that makes plants green. Plants suck it up, and mix it up with the yellow in the sun, and blue and yellow make green. Go to sleep." Bedtime story and satisfying answer all in one.
#72
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
LOL!!! But also when our daughter watch youtube in our bedroom TV, that is something
BG 3 years ago
When my 13 yo daughter uses the TV to listen to music and it's attached to my Spotify account...
Load More Replies... #73
Mirt 3 years ago
Or if you are lucky enough to have the super long cord so that you could sit in the bathroom with the door shut while turning on the faucet in the hopes no one could hear the conversation. Building character can also refer to having the patience and ability to untangle the cord, often while simultaneously being on the phone.
Load More Replies... Lisa H 3 years ago
Only to have said boy be a crank caller and having it all unfold in front of your entire family and trying to play it cool even though you're dying inside because the bullies won't F*****G leave you alone, but you don't want to bring the drama home because Dad just wants to relax after a long day at work and doesn't have time for this s**t so you're forced to just swallow your emotions yet again for the sake of maintaining the peace that rarely comes into the house.
Shameless Hussy Review 3 years ago
That 20-ft extension cord was just long enough to be able to get the phone receiver to the top step of the cellar door, sit, and shut the cellar door.
Laura Gillette 3 years ago
Phone rings. My mom picks up. "Hello? Oh, yes, she's right here. (Turns to me) It's for you--(whispers incredulously while covering the mouthpiece) IT'S A BOY!" Thanks, mom.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
We still gotta explain that, y'know...but in my case it's a girl who called me 'honey' and now my parents are mad.
#74
Dan Padgett 3 years ago
It's the duty of all parents to embarrass their kids. It's a subtle but just revenge for lack of sleep in their early years :)
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
LOL! My son at five following for all the house my teen daughter and friends
#75
Anonymous 3 years ago
Wait til they show you something from 20 years ago and you realize you were already an adult when it came out. That'll make you feel old
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago (edited)
But then you remember you grew up in the 80s/90s and had a much more awesome childhood.
Load More Replies... Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
And "Nights In White Satin" came out in 1968... Sing it with me!!! ( 54 years ago!!! and I'm 64... bought the album when it first came out!) And those of us who know... will know the words! BUT!!! My 10 year old niece just tried to introduce me to this awesome song.... LOL!
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
Anyone else remember am 590? RADIO Disney??? I listened to it on my Walkman. Vitamin C, Smashmouth and the Mouseketeers. Being a kid in the 90s was awesome.
Maria Veronica 3 years ago
Exactly, they didn´t know the times when kids go to the radio station for asking our favorite songs IN PERSON
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
"What's the first album you ever bought?" is a good benchmark. GenX will straight up answer you (Led Zeppelin IV for me). Millennials will say, "You mean CD?" GenZ will say, "What's an album?"
#76
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
I got new deodorant yesterday... The instructions said remove top and push up bottom. Now my a*s really hurts, but every time I fart the room smells awesome!
#77
Kate Jones 3 years ago
So true. I feel like no matter what my kitchen always needs to be cleaned in some way. And there's always so much trash. I am a single person and I don't understand why I always have so much trash. I just changed the bag, and -poof- in 20 minutes that baby will be full again.
Kim Morrison 3 years ago
I don't know where you live, but I hope there's a recycling and composting program nearby. I'm in Canada, and myy garbage has been reduced so much for a three-person household. No pets, but we don't throw out anything recyclable (paper, plastic, metal), nor leftovers (all leftover food and soiled food containers that are biodegradable). This needs to be a regular thing everywhere. Canada! Not even Europe, they're even more advanced...
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#78
#79
#80
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 3 years ago
Aw... This reminds me of my mom. She sent me a thumbs up in every skin tone and called it a "skinbow".
#81
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
Maybe from a distance. At least a machete length.
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#82
Kate Jones 3 years ago
Its really true. I don't like brick buildings but scattered in the house it's so beautiful.
#83
Owen Jarvis 3 years ago
Airports are the closest approximation to h*ll that humanity has invented outside of war.
#84
#85
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago
God he was SO FREAKING GOOD in this movie!! Very underrated performance and by far my favorite of his.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Yah.... Her French Fries are just my French Fries on the wrong plate.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
Remind me when i said no to a second date because the guy accepted my offer to try my food but not even 1 time told me to try his food. No go.
#86
Mirt 3 years ago
Relatable. My husband complains about his lack of drawer space yet he still has clothes in there from 2001. And the sock drawer! Don't even get me started. I don't put his clothes away because it gives me anxiety. Especially since I just Marie Kondo-ed (aka the KonMarie Method), every item of clothing I owned. Does this spark joy??
Kate Jones 3 years ago
Honestly, I'd be pretty mad if my husband threw out any of my clothes without asking. Especially if it was something I loved that he just didn't like because it was old. I love it *because* it's all worn and old and ripped, lol. I get that sometimes you hate something they have, especially if it's smelly or embarrassing if they wear it in public, but at least tell him first. "babe, those pants are gross can you please throw them out and buy some new ones?" is all you need to do. Stop treating spouses like they're your kids. Seriously, I'd be pissed off if he did that to me.
Fickle_Pickle 3 years ago
Yep. I don’t touch my husband’s and kids’ stuff, I don’t even put their clothes away. Why would I? Did it a couple times. Same results. It’s either something gets “lost” or all the dressers look like a cat 5 tornado went through them. Nope. I’m not wasting my time and energy to do all that. They’re grown. They sure can fold and put their stuff away.
#87
Demongrrrrl 3 years ago
It's thrilling only if someone else makes it. I don't have the skills or the patience.
#88
#89
Marie Dahme 3 years ago
Could’ve been worse, you could’ve received one of Avon’s soap-on-a-rope gifts !!!
Fickle_Pickle 3 years ago
Well it’s hard to find something for my husband that he will actually like enough to use. So on our anniversary I went ahead and bought him a darn chain saw. He got me a pressure washer 😂😂😂
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
I thought this said "bring me the dog" but in my case she would already be on my lap <3
Rita Lynn Lyman 3 years ago
When dad can pass a human through his body he will get more than socks
#90
#92
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago
The crush that Lizzo has on him and makes VERY public is kind of adorable. He is handsome, talented and compassionate...I am sure he will find an amazing partner in no time :)
#93
W0lfiest W0lfAlive 3 years ago
Oh, hey! It's that photo for that clickbait article I see everyday and never click on.
#94
Tina Girard 3 years ago
The BEST sleep I ever got was when my oldest was a toddler and I was in the hospital for two days.
K W 3 years ago
I had a colonoscopy when my kid was 2 and it's definitely the best sleep I'd had in a long time. Very worth it lol.
Load More Replies... Lizzy Abbey (she/they) 3 years ago
my mom got mono....she loves to sleep.... my dad didn't realize she was sick for a day
#95
radioactivecandy (they/them) 3 years ago
ohmygawd, sheesh, that is so not slay. literally unaliving rn.
Rylee Evergreen🦋 3 years ago
Dontcha know sheesh is no cap a millenial saying? fr stay up to date lol you boomer I'm literally dead rn lololol
Load More Replies... Mirt 3 years ago
Agree. My 15 year old daughter just explained to me what "pushing P" means. Seriously???
DancingPanda 3 years ago
I had to Google that and I’m 16, and non of my friends use or have even heard of that
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Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
"BRB - taking nap - wake me when 'fetch' happens. I'm totally ready for that sh*t"
TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
"Gretchen, stop trying to make 'fetch' happen, it's NOT going to happen!"
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#96
#97
LittleMissPanda 3 years ago
In all fairness, if I compare my mum and dad - mum workes 3 jobs, pays the mortgage by herself, cooks, cleans, washes clothes, irons and I am the only one to help her. Dad? He sits and reads all day after coming home from the one job he has and he makes a mess because cleaning up a plate is beneath him. Unfortunately there are more of us with a similar scenario :(
#98
#99
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
My sister called me at work the other day, and I had an immediate "OH NO" reaction because the only time she'd ever done that before was six years ago, to break the news that someone had died. (Thankfully, this time around everyone was okay).
#100
Anonymous 3 years ago
Ah yes! The classic, “ I'm so sorry the house is so messy ” when it has been the cleanest you've had in weeks.
Philly Bob Squires 3 years ago
Just put a few get well soon cards on your mantle and people stopping over will think you've been too sick to clean!
#101
Sardonyx_3 3 years ago
It's pronounced "En-sync" for those of you who were wondering... (1 person...)
Broad Panda 3 years ago
It's pronounced In-sync. That's the whole point. They are synchronised. In sync.
radioactivecandy (they/them) 3 years ago
they pronounced it "en-es-why-en-cee" rather than "en-sink"
Load More Replies... #102
DC 3 years ago (edited)
... can't you like get a tree or something? I read they take a lot of time until you can harvest the first ones, but also, you can buy trees that have already grown a few years, ... maybe, if you all like this and that child likely being around for another 70+ years, it may truly be the cheapest way to get a hold on the best avocadoe to ever cross your plate or mouth. And ... well ... Avocado don't need being daily food, as they need a lot of ressources (not even close to meat or dairy, but still), which, with the tree in your garden, is no issue anymore unless you live in an area that is in transition towards being a desert ... do you? I mean, seriously, investing in a biomachine that creates delicious fruit of whatever kind, is the cheaper way, it all just depends on using it long and joyfully, plus the stuff from the own garden always tastes better. Tomatos from the store? Eww... Tomatos from my balcony? Delicious, but it doesn't take 52 weeks to eat a year's harvest, but like 2 or 3...
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
Avocado trees do not survive temperatures below 0°C - so no home grown avocados for me, unfortunately.
Load More Replies... #103
#104
DC 3 years ago
Hm... I'm 39 and my Mum eats stuff I cooked more often than the other way. I'm also an engieer and she's retired ... she just isn't into cooking that much. If we happen to cook together (more sophisticated meals needing more than two hands), usually I end up in command, not by wanting to command, or to degrade her, but because she, kind of, just accepted it as is, while there are only about 3 meals I really need to be in command to get them right. She also hesitates when it might hurt. I don't mind, not being broken constantly made me feel way too old for how young I still tried to feel....... Or something. Also, a nicely made cucumber salad, the oily type thereof, and a nicely boken (yeah, BOKEN!), fresh but dry bread ... are a better meal than 99 % of delivery, just sayin ... walnut oil and fresh Dill are key! NEVER settle for cheapass oil, never use olive for that one, or linseed, as that stuff can become bitter with certain other foods. Why am I typing this? Anyway ...
#106
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
I don't see the point. My hair parts how it wants and I have absolutely no say.
DC 3 years ago
I have a side part since like 2000 or so. On the right side. Fun fact, I'm pretty far on the left, have been then and won't change any about this, while side parts on the right are considered at least conservative, maybe even radial right. Always found this dumb, and when I was approached by a longhaired dude in Bavaria who advertised voting the CSU (THE conservative party in germany, although the CDU, outside of Bavaria, kinda takes their place and vice versa, they always go a step beyond, have been doing since the days of old Franz Josef Ostrich). That tipped me over - long hair on a man? Not that long before, that was unthinkable in these parties ... so decided, you kinda take our haircuts, or uncuts, I'll take yours. I also think that hairdo shall not determine who you are, how you think, but it's just hair, and a side part tends to not impose any effort to be taken on you.
#107
Nicole Tomme 3 years ago
The alien guy must have gotten his crazy hair this way when he was a baby.
#108
#109
LizzieBoredom 3 years ago
I (female) wore such Dad clothes in high school, my Mom sent my clothes to my Grandfather because she thought they were his.
#110
Owen Jarvis 3 years ago
Protip: Add a slice of lime or lemon to make any drink look distinguished.
DC 3 years ago
... and a little paper umbrella, or those sticks with tinfoil attached to one end. Ice cubes work wonders, or a stained glass so the offputting colour ain't seeable.
Load More Replies... #111
#112
LittleMissPanda 3 years ago
Thanks to your comment I noticed the food :D I thought it was a weird old sponge
Load More Replies... #113
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago
Well, seeing as though many African Americans do not celebrate July 4th...yes. Yes, you are.
#114
C. S. M 3 years ago
But why you havin the kids at all? I mean, I'm a bit over 55 YO, and I didn't want kids from when I was 14 or 15 YO. Why you all spawning, when it's just not justified!? Seriously? I suspect most people create kids because it's somehow expected of them, or other family pressures. "When am I gonna get grandkids?" or "Why aren't you making grandbabies?" or "when am I gonna be a grandparent?" or "when am I gonna have nieces/nephews?" B******t, to all of you, I say. I've known since I was 15 that I didn't want to be a father. I had to call the police twice on my own father for pummelling my brother before I was sixteen, I hated him and he hated me for not conforming to what he felt I should have become, and he put a disinheritance paragraph into his will specifically disowning me, when he made it clear before that paragraph that nothing would would be owned other than his current wife. The lousy bastard just paragraphed me into his will, even after I'd disowned him years before.
#115
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
You forgot food ? Ordered food on top? That's a new level of sin.
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