30 Women Infuriated The Internet By Sharing Pics Of Their Partners’ Weaponized Incompetence
No one’s immune to annoying habits; and by that, I mean both having them or finding them frustrating when others exhibit theirs. That’s likely one of the reasons people find weaponized incompetence so bothersome. It might not be a habit per se, but it does often entail people leaving empty cartons of milk in the fridge or failing to clean up after themselves, for instance.
These are just a couple of examples of such incompetence, often also referred to as strategic, when people pretend they are unable to perform a certain task—not well enough, at least—in order to avoid unwanted responsibility. Seeking to paint a clearer picture of what that is, we have gathered more examples on the list below, this time depicting boyfriends and husbands engaging in weaponized incompetence. Scroll down to view the images, but beware, some of them might make you quite annoyed just by looking at them.
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My Boyfriend's Job Title Is Actually "Solutions Engineer." This Was His Solution
My Boyfriend : *Does The Dishes* The Sink :
Husband’s Bedside Table That I Am Making A Point Of Not Doing For Him
Dirty socks on the floor, unwashed dishes in the sink, dust balls forming in the corners of the room—these are just a few examples of things that tend to pile up if a person fails to tidy up after themselves or do a regular clean up. And while it’s clear that not everyone is equally eager to clean their home, most would agree that the majority of adults are at least capable of taking care of such mundane tasks.
Yet some people don’t, and not because they don’t know how to, but because they don’t feel like it; and that’s when weaponized incompetence comes into play. Also known as strategic incompetence, the term refers to the deliberate feigning of incompetence in order to avoid certain tasks or responsibilities, typically resulting in situations like the ones depicted on this list.
How My Boyfriend Packed Up A Moving Box With Kitchen Stuff While I Was At Work
Throwing knifes in between random stuff is dangerous af, I'd be PISSED!
When My Husband Puts The Dishes Away
Please talk to your husband. Also, if you are a serve at the table family, have him set the table. If you bring him any food that requires cutlery, don't bring him any cutlery. He can get it himself. These kind of people aren't bothered by this kind of stuff until it affects them personally. He knows better. Don't let him get away with this.
I live by myself and I am not the best house keeper but even this is unacceptable to me. I keep my silverware cabinet neat.
He's doing this on purpose so you won't ask him to put away dishes again.
This is what my kids used to do. How hard is it to separate knives, forks, and spoons?
I see nothing wrong with this, tidy drawers empty minds or a need to control.
My husband vacuums and sweeps. I wash dishes. Yeah, I have more chores on a daily basis, but I loathe vacuuming.
I couldn't find my medium sized pot once. I opened the pantry, and found it on top of the canned goods. Apparently "it was the only open space to put it". How about pulling out the stack of pots, and putting it in between the small pot and the large pot? Sooo, this picture isn't new to me. After all these years, I still don't give in to the weaponized incompetence, if I cook, you clean and put away. He almost does it right after verbally beating him up over all this time.
that fancy little fork lower right looks just perfect for prodding him sharply while he "re-learns" This is disgustingly lazy. I would feel like spitting on him to show my opinion but one must show restraint when dealing with an obviously deficient person.
Don't want downvoting please, but to be a bit pedantic, those aren't dishes.
I love that the koala cookie cutter looks like it is holding onto the spoon handle 🤣
According to Forbes, weaponized incompetence might seem benign, but in reality, it can accentuate the often unequal division of chores between partners even more and lead to long-term negative effects on their relationship.
Finding themselves in such a situation, those exposed to their partner’s strategic incompetence might say that when they ask for help, they often have to explain things in great detail or eventually (re)do it themselves. Situations like these are likely to strain the relationship, as shifting nearly all the responsibility onto one set of shoulders tends to lead to stress and other detrimental consequences.
Husband Put His Pants Right Beside The Laundry Basket Instead Of Just In It
And that is where they will stay until he puts them either in the basket or washing machine.
My Husband Carries Doughnuts Vertically
This Is How My Husband Opens The Bread If I Don’t Get To It First. Just Rips A Hole In The Bag And Leaves It Open Like This Too
Licensed marriage and family therapist Claudia de Llano seconds the idea that weaponized incompetence creates an imbalance in a romantic relationship, as one of the partners is forced to carry the majority of the load.
“An imbalance of responsibilities can lead to conflicting feelings about the relationship,” she told VeryWell Mind. “While you may love your partner and care about them, you may also grow frustrated and start to resent them for not helping out more.”
Lacking support from your partner, even if in regards to something as mundane as taking care of the dishes, might lead to bigger problems over time, such as trust and communication issues or emotional disconnection.
My Adult Boyfriend Thinks This Counts As Clean (No That's Not Rust)
Came To The Kitchen To Find Out That My Boyfriend Hung The Towel Like This
Found My Husband's Stash Of Empty Wrappers
Be it picking up socks, doing the dishes, or any other seemingly mundane task, some people might take frustratingly long taking care of it; sometimes purposefully so. According to the relationship coach John Kenny, also known as the Relationship Guy, when it comes to weaponized incompetence, doing something in a way that aggravates, irritates, or upsets one’s partner and eventually gets them to step in is the end goal. “It is a passive-aggressive way of getting someone to do something that you just, well, really don’t want to do.”
My Husband Put This Much Milk Back In The Fridge
How My Husband Wrote The Date That He Opened This Orange Juice
When Your Husband Does The Laundry
The relationship expert emphasized that sometimes people are genuinely incapable of doing certain things for one reason or another, no matter how seemingly primitive they are; that’s when it’s important to be patient and show empathy. However, if these scenarios continue to repeat themselves, such behavior can become a manipulative tool used to get (out of) what they want, tolerating which might not be a good idea.
My Husband Bought Memory Foam For “His Side Of The Bed”
The Way My Husband Unpacked The Book Boxes
How My Husband Stacks Plates And Platters
According to a survey of over a thousand married Americans, not contributing enough to household chores is one of the things that annoy people about their spouses the most, followed closely by being a slob; both of which can become problems of way larger proportions if the spouse also engages in strategic incompetence.
Things that seemingly frustrate people about their significant others even more, though, are the latter having selective hearing, snoring, being too controlling or not financially responsible enough.
The Way My Husband Wraps Gifts
The Only Thing I Asked For Was Hamburger Buns. Husband Comes Back With This And This Only
My Husband Puts This Much Food Back In The Fridge To Avoid Doing The Dish
According to Gallup’s data, women tend to take care of a larger chunk of household chores, especially in regards to cooking, cleaning, taking care of the house and the children. (Though yard work and car maintenance remain primarily the men’s responsibilities.)
That might be one of the reasons why married and cohabiting men seem to be more satisfied with the way household chores are divided between them and their partner. Back in 2020, as much as 55% of men were very satisfied with this aspect of their relationship, compared with 38% of their female counterparts, Pew Research Center reports (marking an increase from 49% for the former and a decrease of 1% for the latter compared to 2019).
The Way My Husband Stacks Up His Used Coffee Spoons In Our Spoon Rest, And Won’t Put Them In The Dishwasher!
How My Boyfriend Uses Cheese... I-
I Tore My Rotator Cuff So My Husband Told Me He’d Finish The Interior Painting On Our Downstairs. He Says He’s Done
Needless to say, not all male partners engage in weaponized incompetence; not only that, women are equally as capable of doing a bad job with certain chores, too, seeking to never have to do them ever again. But no matter who is behind this kind of behavior, chances are that in the long run, it won’t make the relationship any better for either of the people involved.
Husband Put Up The Groceries Today…
What's the bet that Paul lives in his mums basement. He is currently jacking off to all his amusing comments on here.🤡
Recently Moved In With My Boyfriend Who Has A Habit Of Leaving His Clothes On The Floor, I Asked Him To Put His Jeans Away In His Closet And This Is What I Found Later
My Husband Leaving Car Like That Every Single Time I'm About To Use It
If you’re looking for more examples of weaponized incompetence, continue to our previous edition on the matter, browse through the most absurd cases of such incompetence on this list, or listen to this TikToker’s insight as she delves deeper into what’s behind it.
My Husband Keeps Opening New Jars Of Jam Before He's Even Finished The Last One
My Husband Throws Away Trash Directly Into The Pantry
Husband Attempted To Put The Silverware Away
The Way My Boyfriend Sliced This Avocado
Note: this post originally had 54 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
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This just baffles me, but maybe it's because when I was growing up, housekeeping was EVERYBODY'S job. I started cleaning my own room when I was about 4. I was folding laundry at about 5. I remember when I was 4 or 5, I could get my own cereal. I was helping pick up around the house at 8. When I was 8, I remember when my Mom came home with groceries, we all pitched in to carry and put away. By ten, I was cleaning house, doing laundry, scrubbing garbage cans, doing dishes, mowing the lawn, and doing home repairs. My brother taught me to sew when I was 10. Another brother taught me to iron when I was 13. Another brother taught me to cook around the same time. Basically, by the time I was 13, my parents could leave me home alone for weeks at a time and I could take care of myself as long as I had money for food. Maybe the lesson here is that if kids are raised doing chores, as adults they know what to do.
Same, friend XD I was adopted into a Mexican family. In a traditional Hispanic family, the children help out around the house and start doing (light) cleaning and chores at a very early age (I vaguely remember starting to help with dusting and sweeping at age 4 or so.) Laundry folding by age 5. My dad taught me all the “traditionally done by a man” duties/chores too; he wanted me to be able to take care of things myself when I was an adult. I can’t say I’m perfect at everything now, at age 41 (almost 42, lol), but I know how to do a lot of tasks decently well, at least. And I can do basic mechanic work on cars, too XD
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The most entertaining part of this post is Paul k. Johnson's comments think he is mad at the world because he can't get a girlfriend.
I'm a bloke and this thread makes me mad. I do the housework (Mrs HoaS can't), I'm not brilliant by any stretch but FFS fellas you are all pathetic.
You’re a good partner. We women appreciate having men like you in the world. Thank you, on behalf of Mrs. Head_on_a_Stick and all women everywhere :)
Load More Replies...
Could have done a thread about 'weaponized incompetence', without the misandry. Or what's actually more likely laziness, carelessness and messiness, which is found in both men and women. Could have also done a thread on 'harboring resentment vs problem-solving', and 'people who need to find their voices'.
But that would not be nearly as good as clickbait.
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Just went back and looked at Paul K. Johnson's comments. Wow. I will give my condolences to any woman who comes in contact with him. He does not speak for men. He speaks for immature little baby man children. Although, my bet is that he still lives in mommy's basement, so never has ever told him what a douche he is, except for online, which doesn't count, as that is where he is an alpha male. LOL.
Spoken like a true simp. Somewhere Phil Donahue is applauding you.
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This is mind blowing. My husband goes out of his way to help me around the house...and I guess he was also raised to not be a complete slob. I feel soooo sorry for everyone in this post. These men need to do better.
It's my theory that every "incompetence" done by these men is done strategically. You see, if they do the task incorrectly or badly enough times the women - who are asking for it to be done and have an expectation of it being done to a certain level - will do it themselves. This is what these men want, for the women to not only do the task but keep it as their job long-term, because they know the men can't do it properly.
Correct. Definition explanation of weaponized incompetence.
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As a very not perfect husband, some of these are relatable. I'm not the cleanest person in the world. My bedside table looks disgusting (but so does my wife's). I leave my clothes places sometimes. Wrappers get left in places. S**t happens. But I do clean up after myself and after others a lot of the time. Many of these an inexcusable to me because they clearly expect their partner to do it. For me, I don't expect my wife to be my maid, I just don't clean up everything immediately and consistently.
"Paul" is clearly a troll. A *real* troll, the kind that lives under a bridge.
I don't know man, I am a husband, and I will freely admit that I am not as worried about keeping things as clean and organized as my wife, but the majority of these pics just strike me as things that inconsiderate, immature douchebags would do. These are things that I b***h at my teenage son for. Bunch of mama's boys who have never lived on their own is my guess. Straight from living with mommy, to living with the wife.
Incompetence like this is intentional. People who intentionally try to get out of doing things are a$sholes. Frankly it isn't adorable or even funny - it is intentionally being a jerk. They had better have other amazing qualities that a person can overlook these very intentional acts of aggression
So how can we get women to stop acting like jerks ?
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These have all made me feel remarkably better about myself! Thanks, people!
I'm a guy. The fellow responsible for what these images show are either pathologically angry at the world, or morons who might need remedial education on how to sneeze.
My disdain is for anyone, man or woman, so wimpy that they feel they have to take this approach.
There are some issues there. Deep, dark issues. With the exception of the gift wrapping, those all seem like malicious acts and signs of resentment.
so my husbands only chore at night is to empty the diaper bag. thats it. i do the ashing and the brushing teeth and the potty breaks and the pajamas, story time and lights out. all he has to do it take the bag to the trash can. he will tie it off, walk it all the way to the kitchen, and leave it on the floor beside the trash can. no matter how empty or full the can is. i once let it sit there on purpose for a few hours just to see if he would pick it up but the very idea of dirty diapers sitting on my kitchen floor made me so sick that i threw it away and then bleach cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom.
We all just need to collectively agree to stop dating these men. Dump them as soon as this s**t starts. Stop incentivising this behaviour by putting up with it or making "oh isn't he funny" jokes about it. Then they'll stop reproducing and their kind will die out.
I despair that there are still grown men who are this helpless and clearly don't think it makes them less attractive. How is it possible in this day and age? Surely most grew up with working mothers who were determined not to inflict gender stereotypes on the next generation of women.
I got about half way through this before I realized it was just man hate porn, so I quite reading.
OK... as ridiculous as these posts are, the question is - did you cohabitate before marriage? Were you totally blind about that? Were you trying to teach them basics to correct their mothers' failures to do so? If the answer is yes to ANY of these questions, and yet you married these morons then don't b***h about them.
It's about behaviour that is basically just thoughtless/ disrespectful towards your partner or simply unhygienic. It doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman - of course you can complain about it.Above all, and this is relevant in this case, because it is behaviour that is often used to give oneself an advantage (less work) and to impose it on one's partner in a rather vile way.
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This just baffles me, but maybe it's because when I was growing up, housekeeping was EVERYBODY'S job. I started cleaning my own room when I was about 4. I was folding laundry at about 5. I remember when I was 4 or 5, I could get my own cereal. I was helping pick up around the house at 8. When I was 8, I remember when my Mom came home with groceries, we all pitched in to carry and put away. By ten, I was cleaning house, doing laundry, scrubbing garbage cans, doing dishes, mowing the lawn, and doing home repairs. My brother taught me to sew when I was 10. Another brother taught me to iron when I was 13. Another brother taught me to cook around the same time. Basically, by the time I was 13, my parents could leave me home alone for weeks at a time and I could take care of myself as long as I had money for food. Maybe the lesson here is that if kids are raised doing chores, as adults they know what to do.
Same, friend XD I was adopted into a Mexican family. In a traditional Hispanic family, the children help out around the house and start doing (light) cleaning and chores at a very early age (I vaguely remember starting to help with dusting and sweeping at age 4 or so.) Laundry folding by age 5. My dad taught me all the “traditionally done by a man” duties/chores too; he wanted me to be able to take care of things myself when I was an adult. I can’t say I’m perfect at everything now, at age 41 (almost 42, lol), but I know how to do a lot of tasks decently well, at least. And I can do basic mechanic work on cars, too XD
Load More Replies... The most entertaining part of this post is Paul k. Johnson's comments think he is mad at the world because he can't get a girlfriend.
I'm a bloke and this thread makes me mad. I do the housework (Mrs HoaS can't), I'm not brilliant by any stretch but FFS fellas you are all pathetic.
You’re a good partner. We women appreciate having men like you in the world. Thank you, on behalf of Mrs. Head_on_a_Stick and all women everywhere :)
Load More Replies... Could have done a thread about 'weaponized incompetence', without the misandry. Or what's actually more likely laziness, carelessness and messiness, which is found in both men and women. Could have also done a thread on 'harboring resentment vs problem-solving', and 'people who need to find their voices'.
But that would not be nearly as good as clickbait.
Load More Replies... Just went back and looked at Paul K. Johnson's comments. Wow. I will give my condolences to any woman who comes in contact with him. He does not speak for men. He speaks for immature little baby man children. Although, my bet is that he still lives in mommy's basement, so never has ever told him what a douche he is, except for online, which doesn't count, as that is where he is an alpha male. LOL.
Spoken like a true simp. Somewhere Phil Donahue is applauding you.
Load More Replies... This is mind blowing. My husband goes out of his way to help me around the house...and I guess he was also raised to not be a complete slob. I feel soooo sorry for everyone in this post. These men need to do better.
It's my theory that every "incompetence" done by these men is done strategically. You see, if they do the task incorrectly or badly enough times the women - who are asking for it to be done and have an expectation of it being done to a certain level - will do it themselves. This is what these men want, for the women to not only do the task but keep it as their job long-term, because they know the men can't do it properly.
Correct. Definition explanation of weaponized incompetence.
Load More Replies... As a very not perfect husband, some of these are relatable. I'm not the cleanest person in the world. My bedside table looks disgusting (but so does my wife's). I leave my clothes places sometimes. Wrappers get left in places. S**t happens. But I do clean up after myself and after others a lot of the time. Many of these an inexcusable to me because they clearly expect their partner to do it. For me, I don't expect my wife to be my maid, I just don't clean up everything immediately and consistently.
"Paul" is clearly a troll. A *real* troll, the kind that lives under a bridge.
I don't know man, I am a husband, and I will freely admit that I am not as worried about keeping things as clean and organized as my wife, but the majority of these pics just strike me as things that inconsiderate, immature douchebags would do. These are things that I b***h at my teenage son for. Bunch of mama's boys who have never lived on their own is my guess. Straight from living with mommy, to living with the wife.
Incompetence like this is intentional. People who intentionally try to get out of doing things are a$sholes. Frankly it isn't adorable or even funny - it is intentionally being a jerk. They had better have other amazing qualities that a person can overlook these very intentional acts of aggression
So how can we get women to stop acting like jerks ?
Load More Replies... These have all made me feel remarkably better about myself! Thanks, people!
I'm a guy. The fellow responsible for what these images show are either pathologically angry at the world, or morons who might need remedial education on how to sneeze.
My disdain is for anyone, man or woman, so wimpy that they feel they have to take this approach.
There are some issues there. Deep, dark issues. With the exception of the gift wrapping, those all seem like malicious acts and signs of resentment.
so my husbands only chore at night is to empty the diaper bag. thats it. i do the ashing and the brushing teeth and the potty breaks and the pajamas, story time and lights out. all he has to do it take the bag to the trash can. he will tie it off, walk it all the way to the kitchen, and leave it on the floor beside the trash can. no matter how empty or full the can is. i once let it sit there on purpose for a few hours just to see if he would pick it up but the very idea of dirty diapers sitting on my kitchen floor made me so sick that i threw it away and then bleach cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom.
We all just need to collectively agree to stop dating these men. Dump them as soon as this s**t starts. Stop incentivising this behaviour by putting up with it or making "oh isn't he funny" jokes about it. Then they'll stop reproducing and their kind will die out.
I despair that there are still grown men who are this helpless and clearly don't think it makes them less attractive. How is it possible in this day and age? Surely most grew up with working mothers who were determined not to inflict gender stereotypes on the next generation of women.
I got about half way through this before I realized it was just man hate porn, so I quite reading.
OK... as ridiculous as these posts are, the question is - did you cohabitate before marriage? Were you totally blind about that? Were you trying to teach them basics to correct their mothers' failures to do so? If the answer is yes to ANY of these questions, and yet you married these morons then don't b***h about them.
It's about behaviour that is basically just thoughtless/ disrespectful towards your partner or simply unhygienic. It doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman - of course you can complain about it.Above all, and this is relevant in this case, because it is behaviour that is often used to give oneself an advantage (less work) and to impose it on one's partner in a rather vile way.
Load More Replies...