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Whether we like it or not, conflicts are inevitable in any long-term relationship. Nearly everyone knows that finding someone you can be completely honest with comes with many ups and downs that reveal the most annoying behaviors imaginable. But while some disagreements can get seriously spicy, partners also often lose control and get angry over absolutely nothing.

Attorney, advocate, and author Rabia Chaudry set out on a mission to discover the stupidest and most meaningless arguments married couples "just cannot, will not stop having". Her Twitter thread quickly blew up with people opening up about the most infuriating habits their spouses have that make them fight about it for years.

From never squishing out the sponge to refusing to close the drawers all the way, every couple has things they repeatedly return to because both sides refuse to back down. Continue scrolling because we’ve selected some of the funniest examples from the thread. Upvote the ones you can relate to all too well, and be sure to share your own pet peeves with us in the comments!

Image credits: rabiasquared

#2

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Jontelle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true! I can send my SO to the store with a list and he’ll STILL mess up somehow.

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Karri Berkowitz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine leaves the sponge in the sink, every time, and it's always in the one spot with water and the food he didn't clean out. I have to throw it out

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If Rabia Chaudry’s name sounds familiar, it might be because she’s the author of the New York Times bestselling book Adnan's Story. She has also amassed quite a following on Twitter where almost 202K users are engaged in what she has to say and, luckily for us, share their own funny and genuine stories. The post in question, which has received over 19K likes, proved that couples all over the world get peeved off by the most foolish things.

Hundreds of replies on this thread had to do with household tasks not being completed correctly. Well, at least in their partner's eyes. But whether you’re in a meaningful relationship or decided to tie the knot, sharing a space together is bound to be at least a bit of a challenge. At the bare minimum, you’ll have a partner that tells you you never fold the socks right.

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Strawberry Pizza
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe some decorative plastic fruit would solve this problem. No rotting = no more buying fruit.

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When you decide to be with one person for a long time, it's only natural for the quirks you found sweet at the beginning of the relationship to irritate you as time flies. But those little habits sure have a way of blowing up into a major argument or at least something you always have at the back of your mind.

But not all fights are created equal. While some are more severe and worth talking through, others are downright ridiculous and illogical. "Partners often say, 'We argue over stupid things,'" licensed relationship therapist Dr. Jason N. Linder wrote in Psychology Today. "This is somewhat true. That said, there are a lot more things partners are actually arguing about under the surface than what meets the eye, especially for the partners themselves."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a TV series about these people: Help, my husband is a handyman.

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CelticElff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's entirely possible he has ADD/ADHD? We're TERRIBLE at finishing projects. It's not an excuse, but if he gets diagnosed then he can seek help (therapy, medication, even an ADHD Coach- whatever works). Just food for thought.

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Brian Allen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah even just being aware of it can help. You can catch yourself doing it at work or other places.

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LH25
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Us too. He does the main part of a project, then doesn't clean up. Even down to not replacing the trash can liner, so I go to throw something out and have to put one in first.

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Shika Louis
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

how so? i've never heard of semi-completed tasks to be a symptom (m just generally curious)

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Sheila Stamey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hire a handsome guy to finish his abandoned stuff. Sit, drink coffee, watch , and hubby will catch on if you let him see. Sorry, worked for me better than the screaming and I was in a much better mood toward hubby when handyman was finished. In many ways.

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K Witmer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband half asses so many things. He sees it as well it's half done that's better than not done at all. Omg no! He'll sweep but leave the piles of dust. He'll empty the dishwasher but won't fill it. He'll clean the sink but only the inside not around it. It's constant extra work for me bc I have to go behind him and finish what he starts while I'm doing what i need to do which is actually clean. Thank god i was able to hire my house cleaner back after everyone was vaccinated

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Kimi Tomminello
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine pretends to clean up. I find slightly opened paint cans/ rollers shoved behind the washer/ dryer and painters tape in the linens (kept on a shelf above the washer and dryer) whenever he does any painting. I have to follow him around when he does projects or he loses tools all over the house. I love him but he is the most absent minded dork in the world.

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Nancy Ercolini
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So decide to either stay insane or have a talk with him and if talk doesn't do any good

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Den Ver
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thoughts: 1) I'm disturbed by the lack of communication and inability to see things from another's point of view. 2) From personal observation, I've concluded that half of all men make terrible roommates as do half of all women. My assumption is that half of the complaints are legitimate and the other half are from clueless whiners who have too much time on their hands. 3) I'm guilty being a 90% / 10% project/repair completer (I'll work 5.5 hrs of a 6 hr. job,, then do the last half hour later because I run out of steam). 4) It seems the OP is ungrateful that her husband saved 100 ($, £,€) by doing a project that could have been hired out. A project that she and the commenters below don't claim to be able to do themselves. This LITTLE job put $50 in her pocket or $100 shared. Is putting away your husbands caulk gun and cleaning the tub worth $50. If yes, say "thank you". If my SO planned, shopped, cooked, cleaned 95% of dinner & "burdened" me w/ 5% of the easy work ...YES please!

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Den Ver
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Beside heartfelt discussion, I've found INEFFICIENCY in chore division to be a great solution. Instead of having the husband shovel snow for 60 min., both partners go outside and work for 45 minutes. Then, if clothes need to be folded after this chore, both people can do that together. Time could be saved if each person did what they are best at, but I think this often leads to perceived lack of appreciation for what the other person does. My other solution involves letting one person divide the chores in a way they think is fair and then let the other person chose which half they will do. This works if people are rational, but I once saw young sisters arguing over how to split a dessert. When they were told one of you cuts the piece in half and the other chooses I thought this was a great solution. But then I saw the crestfallen look on both girls faces. They didn't want a solution. They wanted to argue and "win" the fight. They weren't trying to be partners -- see most comments

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Coconut Smiley
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have ADHD and started remodeling the bathroom and abandoned the task near the end. I didn't everything except the caulking lol

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Cindy Goode
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never fight about his any longer . I call someone to fix it without even talking about it.

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Kurtis Edwards
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet he has ADD. I don't mean that as a joke or a putdown. My husband has it bad. It's easy to describe it as 'being forgetful' of 'like a child' but it's so much more pernicious.

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Amy McGonegal
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been waiting 4 years for the front of the 'new' dishwasher skirting-panel-thingy to be put on...

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Mikuel Sampaguita
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like me but j was recently diagnosed with Adult ADHD by my therapist. I personally think if no one is going to praise him or ensure the task gets done why not abandon for a minute or and eon?

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bkIllinois
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No more project for him. Hire someone it will chap his ass.

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Alana Voeks
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father's the same way, which turned my brother into it. And yes, it pisses me off.

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Megan Allen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband does this, too. I'm gonna start throwing away tools next time I am left to finish a project for him. Putting everything away and cleaning is the last steps!!

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Shnookumpie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ai yi yi.... My hubby and I have the same problem..... except it's ME..... I do this🤦🏻‍♀️..... I don't know why he puts up w me🤷🏻‍♀️. I'm just so thankful and appreciates that he does🙏🏻💗🤗. He's for sure a Saint😇!

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Alexej Dvorak
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I assume the intention of the post is something else, but the example sounds more like he doesn't clean up after he's done, rather than "not finishing the last 5%".

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Amanda Marasca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have decided my husband does this because he is convinced that if he actually finishes something he will die because his mission has been completed.

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Ogidi Girl
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unloads the dishwasher down to the last 2 dishes, I fork and maybe a plastic bowl left. Then walks away. Tickles me to no end.

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Emmett O'Brian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This says to me that he's never done this kind of work professionally. Either that or he has done it professionally and has a helper assigned to these tasks. The goal is something that works. Once it should work, his job is done. (In his thinking) where the actual goal is a finished product. Let him have a break, an hour or a day depends on time available. In a non accusing way, ask him if the job looks finished. If he says yes, say you thought he was still working on it because there were tools or it wasn't cleaned up yet. Let him address that. Once it becomes the expectation, he should adapt.

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SCamp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the irony of her abandoning the opening sentence without finishing with the ‘it’. 🤓

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Otto Maddox
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe op should consider ADHD/inattentive ADD as a possible diagnosis. This is a perfect description of the resulting work of someone with that brain.

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Maria Rodriguez
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2 years ago

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Maybe you should help. Maybe picking up after him shouldn't be so horrible for you. Be glad he does something

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My partner was the same with decoration. I put some paintings, pictures and plants in the house and he kept whining about how i "invaded his space". Now i took them all out because we are moving and he was like "now the house looks so much uglier". I know.

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"Focusing on the content of arguments (i.e who forgot to mail the important package) misses the forest for the trees. What fights are really about is the emotional safety in a relationship, partner's subjective sense of the other’s caring from them (or being there for them), and fear that they will get hurt."

He explained that getting to what’s underneath leads us to the cause of arguments and relationship distress. "Partners need to learn to reach out to each other with those feelings such as sadness about the disconnection, feelings of failure or inadequacy, or fear of rejection.”

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Deborah B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Leave it in the cabinet. Don't buy chips. "There's still a pack in the cupboard".

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Unfortunately, it might be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that fighting with your partner is a bad sign for the relationship itself. But we all know that every single couple has had at least one or two arguments. In fact, experts say that such disagreements can also be beneficial.

"I am more worried about my clients who say they never argue with their partners,” Maryann W. Mathai, a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people heal from toxic relationships, told Bustle. "It signals passivity, emotions being ignored, or a lack of self in the relationship — all of which are unhealthy."

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next time put their laundry around the washing machine. When there are no clean clothes for them anymore, they will understand.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can sympathize with this, as you may have water on the floor if the shower is not closed off enough, and open drawers kill shinbones.

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Chores and other responsibilities are some of the most common argument topics between married couples. It’s important to distinguish, however, whether these silly quarrels are healthy or toxic for your relationship. For example, if you start nitpicking your partner about the way they wash the dishes but end up blatantly declaring you dislike the company of their parents, that’s a red flag for toxic communication patterns. When arguing, you stay focused on the topic and issue at hand, so avoid looking for opportunities to air other grievances.

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh... I guess I remove eggs like OP's wife... because we usually grab the carton from one end or the other, not in the front 'n' center... so the weight is evenly distributed...

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Mathai explained that while it is normal to need space after a disagreement, routinely withdrawing for days at a time shows your fights could be toxic. "Researchers have shown that stonewalling, the term for withdrawing and avoidance, is a predictor of divorce," she added. "Shutting down and emotionally leaving the conversation will trigger the other partner to feel alone and overwhelmed."

"You both may have different needs or time frames to cool down after an argument, but a sign of healthy relationships is [that] couples come back to each other quickly," Mathai explained. "There is truth behind the old saying 'Never go to bed angry.'"

After all, we're all guilty of having weird little quirks that might annoy people around us. Some of these behaviors are more benign, others are pretty bizarre. But as they say, communication is key, so if you find a way to talk through them and even sometimes kindly poke fun at them, you might be on the right path.

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Green Machine
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like the couples arguing over bars of soap should switch to liquid body wash. :)

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg... my dad was like this... no matter how much time he had before the family had to leave for whatever... the MOMENT we're supposed to go out the door.... he had to go to the bathroom. It was. so. odd.

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Frances M
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You don’t have a spoon anyway, you have a solid lump of tea stained sugar with a metal bit sticking out the top.

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ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll agree on the basis that I HATE when people nix ideas without offering a suggestion. I'm not your hired "idea's person".

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Karen Tyas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Meanwhile he’s like “My wife is great, always puts gas in my car for me!”

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretend you didn't hear that he said something and keep pretending until he speaks so you can understand him. Rinse and repeat for as long as it takes to get the message home. I took me 6 weeks to teach my wife that, since I'm getting deaf, I can't hear her when she's whispering from the other side of the room.

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Ozacoter
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am sorry for op. That sounds like an awful partner

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Buren
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree to disagree and adopt new pronounciation such as cow-poo to save your marriage.

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Belinda Matson
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Put it in random places. On his pillow, his dashboard, in his drawers, at a crime scene.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned to preface some questions with "It's yes or no question. One-word answer only. (Fill in question)." B/c I got tired of essay answers to yes-no questions. We've gotten around it over the years, but twenty-five years ago? It'd take him ten minutes to answer "yes" or "no" or for me to work out which it was. And the question would be something like, "Do you want dessert?"

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Madzdad the Bard
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex said it was an "accident" when she slept with someone else. What does that mean? He tripped and his d**k fell into your vagina?

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DuchessDegu
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wanna swap? I'm like that, if it's important put it away. My partner leaves everything anywhere and when he can't find it, he'd buy a new one or ask for a copy. Then leaves it anywhere and buys a third one when he can't find the previous two. I lost count of how many superglue, toothpick packs, torches, sealants and tin openers I found last time I went on a cleanup bender

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LH25
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So buy her a pair of her own. If she wants to wear the old ones, you wear the new ones.

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Whodathunkit
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I often don't close cabinets. I don't even realize I'm doing it. Sometimes I wonder if this stems from when I was young. My father was a bit of an a*****e so I used to get up earlier than him for school so I didn't have to deal with him. His bedroom was right near the kitchen, so I tried to be very quiet and didn't close cabinets.

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finisz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No problem, till you also do just your stuff: washing just your clothes, cooking just for you and so on....

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Pan dulce
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you do the laundry, Don't wash them & tell him they weren't in the hamper so... they must be clean? Maybe he'll have better aim next time

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Lady Goldberry
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She just needs to buy mens boxers of her own. I get it, they're comfy as.

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William Arndt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Human presence light switches turn off after no motion. I installed in garage, walk ins, bathrooms and kitchen.

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JJ
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, yes, when I got married, I never thought "What's for dinner?" would be the most discussed topic in my marriage... 😆

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Fox Smith
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The correct answer is: separate bedrooms. You are obviously not compatible to share a place meant for sleep.

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Protocol dictates that your farts should always be directed away from your partner. It also dictates that you sniff your own farts.

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ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funniest? Eek! A) It's not a laughing matter, B) if this tragedy actually happens to you and your husband is worried about if you have nipples or not, you're with the wrong guy.

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Donna Clanclan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OOf. Mine tosses them in the sink with no thought to what might already be in the sink. We've lost so many glass dishes this way.

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Jo Morris
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Solve the laundry problem by only washing in cold water. No need to separate clothing.

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Kay blue
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's anything like me, he needs on his nightstand so he doesn't forget to take it.

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D. Pitbull
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looks like there could be pixies and fairies making little homes in the grass...

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nini
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We also sometimes have similar discussions about the proper "crunchiness" of cookedvegetables. He likes them basically raw, I prefer them "al dente". So we take his badge out and let mine cook for a little longer 😋

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Ghosts
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's wrong with that? I wouldn't be drinking water from the bathroom sink either. I've got a perfectly good kitchen.

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Heather Glomb
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, take an extra 5 seconds to check the counter and wipe up the excess water...

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Bobby
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because small cereal still falls through it and can cause backups later? Just eat the last 7 pieces of cereal left in the bowl so there aren't any solids that need to be filtered

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd like to see an inventory of all towels and bed linens in the house before commenting.

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Donna Clanclan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His plate is set before him, then mine in front of me. He will have cut into his dinner and have a fork of his food ready for me to try before I've gotten mine started. Drives me crazy. AT LEAST LET ME HAVE A BITE OF MY OWN FOOD BEFORE YOU DEMAND I HAVE SOME OF YOURS. He has gone so far as to keep the pepper out of my reach to make sure I can't try my food before he passes me some of his.

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Steve
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds those two don't know how to communicate or would rather die on their hills than to talk.

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Hawkmoon
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I do that too... I think it's easier to put things in designated places when they're out of a bag and you can see what goes where at once (and not open the fridge , close it, open a cupboard, close it, reopen the fridge,...).

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For some people it's the only place where they can get some R&R without someone constantly nagging them.

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Phil Vaive
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dirty dishes do NOT go in the sink. When you fill it with soap and water, you can't see what you're sticking your hands into and you could really injure yourself.

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Stephanie A Mutti
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess it depends on how much you value the word COAST in East Coast. I agree that Ohio is NOT on the East Coast because it is not on the coast. BUT there is neither Pine nor Apple in Pineapple so....

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Ghosts
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would make zero difference if you pre-sort or post-sort. You still have to sort.

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Phil Vaive
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, that's basic math. If you take a 2x2 square, the sum of the sides is 8. If you cut it in half, you have two 1x2 rectangles, and the sum of the sides is 6x2=12.

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Ernesto
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#102: "He never puts dishes in the sink!" ... #103: "He always puts dishes in the sink!"

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