It's certainly not the first time you've heard about puns, especially if you're a dad -- the chances are that cringy poorly-timed puns are a way of life for you. But who's judging! Life wouldn't be so gleeful without a funny pun!
While liking dad jokes and corny puns are mainly a side-effect of parenthood, science tells us that this kind of sense of humor might show an above-average intelligence or, on the other hand, brain damage. Just pick one, I guess.
Either way, for those who love this sort of dad humor, we have a whole list for you to indulge in. We gathered some of the best puns collected by a Tumblr blog called Just Bad Puns. But don't let the name fool you; they are not bad at all. You'll probably find them hilarious if you're into dad jokes. So don't waste any more time and scroll below for the list!
More info: justbadpuns.com
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It Means A Lot
Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me, it means a lot
Trippy Shoes
I got some shoes from my drug dealer recently, I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day..
Crossing The Road
Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side
Concert Tickets
What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback
I am a mum and i am the one doing mental harm in my family by "dadjokes"... 😅
Out Or In
Shout out to the people that don’t know what the opposite of in is!
Crushed Grapes
What did the grape say when it got crushed? Nothing, it just let out a little wine
Hot Bod
I want to be cremated as it is my last hope for a smoking hot body
Apocalypse
So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means?? It’s not the end of the world!
Just A Fantasy
I had a crazy dream last night. I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea..
It's Raining
A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.
Without A Trace
A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3. He says, “uno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres..
Nope, It Doesn't Rock
I saw a sign that said falling rocks, so I tried and it doesn’t.
Just Let Him Go
Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Narrator: Things were not peachy, Carol knew she had to let her mango. Sorry for the bad pun, I don't have a funny bone anywhere from my head tomatos
Rocks And Places
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it’s at!
Bad Jokes
I would tell you an unemployment joke, but none of them work..
Run Forrest Run
What was Forrest Gump’s email password? 1forrest1
Lame Atmosphere
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? I heard the food was good but it had no atmosphere
A Dozen
I saw a girl today who had 12 nipples. Sounds crazy, dozen tit?
Marching Along
Can February March? No, but April May
Lost And Found
A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
Ring Tones
I don’t like the term, “anal bleaching.” I prefer, “changing your ring tone.”
Sad Sad Dumbo
Why was dumbo sad? He felt irrelephant
Gamer Problems
My boyfriend just broke up with me for talking about video games to much, what a stupid thing to Fallout 4
Dashing Biker
A Harley rider eating in a restaurant is checking out a gorgeous redhead. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket. The biker reaches up, snatches it out of the air, and hands it back to her. “I am so embarrassed,” the woman says. “Please join me for dinner." They enjoy a wonderful meal together and afterwards she invites him to the theatre, followed by drinks. She pays for everything. Then she asks him to her place for a nightcap, and to stay for breakfast. The next morning the guy is amazed. "Are you this nice to every biker you meet?” he asks. “Not usually,” she replies. “But you just happened to catch my eye.”
Heart Of A Lion
My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo..
Right On Time
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too..
Sneaky Stairs
I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something..
Stork Or Crane
Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane..
Know Your ABCs
I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y..
Mixed Feelings
I lost my mood ring and i don’t know how to feel about it..
Died A Little
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside..
Man is dyeing horrifying. The second I tried it I've felt so blue 24/7...
Solving Crimes
A man was found dead in a vat full of falafel condiments. Police are treating it as a hummuscide
Fruit Flies
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana..
Not On My Watch
I lost my watch at a party. When I went looking for it, I saw some guy stepping on it while harassing a girl. So I walked up to the dude and punched him straight in the nose because no one does that to a girl… Not on my watch!
Fender Bender
My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how his Mercedes bends..
It Comes Naturally
Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed..
Losing An Electron
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them..
Just A Bit Wiser
Beer may not make you smart, Budweiser..
Missing Steaks
Becoming a vegetarian is one big missed steak..
Never Gonna Give You Up
Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his Pixar collection DVDs but he will never give you Up
Uplifting Abilities
Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting…
I weighted myself recently... flying only down im not sure would be considered flying..
Zoo Escape
Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos..
Just A Gram
How much does a hipster weigh? an Instagram..
Tap Dancer
I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink
Just Bad Puns
A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence..
Just Bad Puns
What did the ghost teacher say to the class? Look at the board and I will go through it again..
Just Bad Puns
My girlfriend likes to tie me to the bed and cover me in chocolate and caramel. She’s a dominatwix.
Just Bad Puns
I went to a terrible piano concert the other night. The pianist made so many mistakes I can’t even begin to Liszt. It was too much for me to Handel so I left and demanded all my money Bach the next day.
Just Bad Puns
Never trust an atom, they make up everything!
Just Bad Puns
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience
Just Bad Puns
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon
Just Bad Puns
Once, there was a lumberjack who wandered into a magical forest. As he swung his axe, the tree said “don’t cut me down, I’m a talking tree!”
The lumberjack replied, “and you will dialogue.”
Just Bad Puns
Why do people with foot fetishes never win? Because they like the taste of defeat
Just Bad Puns
Did you know it’s far easier to convince ladies to not eat Tide Pods, but it’s harder to deter gents?
Had a hard time deciding if I liked this one or not. It was a clothes one.
Just Bad Puns
What do you use to cut a Roman Emperors hair? Ceasers
A Roman soldier walks into a bar and holds up his first two fingers.What does he want?........five beers!
Just Bad Puns
He couldn’t work out how to fix the washing machine so he threw in the towel
Did you do mine as well i work outside and i go through clothes
Just Bad Puns
The archaeologist discovered an ancient tampon after a ruin excavation, the only problem was she couldn’t work out what period it was from.
Just Bad Puns
What did the kleptomaniac do in the bathroom? Nothing special, he was only taking a shower
Just Bad Puns
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired..
Just Bad Puns
The Middle Ages were called the Dark Ages because there were too many knights
Just Bad Puns
It took a while to learn to use a hammer but we finally nailed it.
Just Bad Puns
Why are there fences on graveyards? Because people are dying to get in..
Just Bad Puns
My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta..
Just Bad Puns
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24hrs, so they just called it a day..
Just Bad Puns
What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes
Just Bad Puns
Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
Just Bad Puns
I’m trying to start a memory-foam mattress company, I just don’t know how to make a good first impression
Just Bad Puns
I made a pun about wind, but it blows
Just Bad Puns
I lost a friend after we had an argument about the Tardis. I thought it was a little thing, but it seemed much bigger once we got into it
Just Bad Puns
My dream is to open a photo processing store in a developing country.
Just Bad Puns
Simba was walking slow so i told him mufasa..
Just Bad Puns
Did you hear about the two perfume companies fighting over the rights to a Star-Wars themed bottle? People are calling it the Cologne Wars
Just Bad Puns
I’ve always pictured myself taking selfies
Just Bad Puns
I got a master’s degree in being ignored; no one seems to care
Just Bad Puns
The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business..
Just Bad Puns
Never discuss infinity with a mathematician, they can go on about it forever.
Just Bad Puns
The dead batteries were given out free of charge..
Just Bad Puns
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns. I should put a little more backbone into them..
Just Bad Puns
What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis.
Just Bad Puns
Deaf mathematicians communicate through sin language.
Just Bad Puns
I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
Just Bad Puns
My wife tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.
Just Bad Puns
I once boxed a pirate, he had a strong right hook
Just Bad Puns
Did you hear about the submarine industry? It really took a dive..
Just Bad Puns
I’m planning on opening a fried chicken place. I don’t have any experience in the field, but I figured I’d just wing it.
Just Bad Puns
The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester..
Just Bad Puns
Atheists don’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers..
Just Bad Puns
I had a joke about murder that would’ve really killed but I’m sure you’re all sick to death of those
Just Bad Puns
My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast..
Just Bad Puns
A policeman arrested two kids. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!
Just Bad Puns
Did y'all hear about the farmer that had to retire due to his headache? He’d always say, “I’m so sick of my grains!”
Did you hear about the farmer who won an award? For a man out standing in his field
Just Bad Puns
A guy approached me and asked if I wanted to use his ice rink for 10p. What a cheap-skate
Just Bad Puns
I used to be a baby but I grew out of it!
Just Bad Puns
My sister was telling me about our cousin. I have to say, he sounds familia
Just Bad Puns
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef..
Just Bad Puns
Have you seen the photo of spiderman getting shot? He’s all over the web
Just Bad Puns
Do you know why I like Peter Pan? Because it never grows old
Just Bad Puns
What did the dry erase marker say to the blackboard? Nothing! Dry erase markers don’t chalk.
Just Bad Puns
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Just Bad Puns
There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal..
Just Bad Puns
When the church relocated it had an organ transplant
Just Bad Puns
I started to write the beginning and the middle of my story, but I forgot the
Just Bad Puns
My mom got so angry when I broke the microwave. I’ve never seen her so heated in my life..
Just Bad Puns
I dissected an iris today. It was an eye-opening experience.
Just Bad Puns
What would the couple name of Jack and Rose from the “Titanic” be? It doesn’t matter, ‘cause their ship sank.
Just Bad Puns
I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet, I don’t know y..
Just Bad Puns
What did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis.
