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50 Hilariously Unfortunate Moments That Made Parents Say “God, Pick Another Soldier” (New Pics)
“Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.” You’ve likely seen this written everywhere, from Pinterest boards to bumper stickers. There’s even a podcast named after it.
It’s a statement each parent has also likely uttered at least once in their life. Children can be a handful, which, at times, can be hilariously frustrating for many moms and dads. And these photos perfectly encapsulate those moments, which can range from broken TVs to the accidental ingestion of coins.
We’ve collected these images from various corners of Reddit, and feel free to upvote the ones you connect with the most.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Kids Can Come Up With The Most Creative Explanations
RELATED:
#2
We Found My Wife’s Phone In The Toilet Yesterday. We Weren’t Sure Which Of Our Three Kids Put It There... Until My Wife Scrolled Through Her Pictures Today
#3
My Daughter Just Said “Here Papa” And Put These In My Pocket. I Have No Idea Which Piece Of Cheap Furniture Is Now Dangerously Unstable
A bad parent will likely flip out and dole out crazy punishment upon seeing such damage committed by their children. A good parent, however, would approach the situation without casting judgment. They understand that these are children being children.
“A good parent really activates curiosity over judgment in a situation with their kids,” child psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy stated.
#4
The Face Of A Parent Who Had To Deal With The Fact That His Child Really Locked Her Mother In Her Bedroom Because She Got Her Mouth Stuck On The Doorknob From The Other Side Of The Door
I love and miss my dad so much, but this photo makes me laugh so hard. Bro was TIRED He also tried to teach me how to play backgammon multiple times, but I kept trying to eat the pieces. Shoutout to my dad. Best dad. Very patient man. He also used to bring me out on the deck at night to say goodnight to the moon. He'd be like "Say goodnight to Luna!" and I'd be like "Goodnight Moona!" because kids are stupid. But also, this man worked at NASA. He gave up the opportunity to go to outer space because he would miss me too much. Imagine giving up that opportunity just for your child to say "Moona" smh.
#5
Looks Like The Younger Daughter Is Already Planning Her Inheritance
#6
I Asked My College Age Son To Pick Up A Cake For My Brother's Birthday, His Uncle
We are having a lot of people over including kids and grandparents. He is not getting married and he isn't gay.
According to Dr. Kennedy, a more inquisitive approach may help parents understand why their child broke the 60-inch flat screen in the living room. She says that the mere use of the phrase “I wonder” makes you less judgmental towards the situation.
“Being the sturdiest leader for your kid involves equal parts very firm boundaries and parental authority as it does warm, validating connection,” Dr. Kennedy explained.
#7
My 8-Year-Old Decided The Keyboard Should Be In Alphabetical Order
#8
My 2 Year Old Started Cursing And I Thought My Teenagers Were To Blame So I Made A Swear Jar… It’s Been 5 Hours And It Turns Out I Am The Problem. I Will Be Broke By Monday
#9
I’ve Seen It Happen In Movies But Never Dreamed I Would See It In Real Life
Shocked children at bottom for extra OMG. “No kids it’s not Santa just Uncle Jeff trying to get the damn tree.” Merry Christmas, y’all!
There is also positive parenting, which focuses on showing warmth and kindness. It’s more about guiding through encouragement rather than tough love. According to the UCDavis Health Children’s Hospital, it sends a powerful message that “You are loved, you are good, you matter."
#10
My Kid Swallowed A Penny While Showing His Little Brother How He Accidentally Swallowed A Sim Key The Day Before
Chihuahua Mama 5 months ago
The penny is likely fine, but that sim key's point would be terrifying since it can easily puncture the GI tract
#11
I Give Him His Own Pot Of Dirt To Water Now, After He Waterboarded My Poor Succulents To Death
Child of the Stars 5 months ago
The best response. When my son was a toddler, he loved helping me with the dishes, so I got him a little tub that I'd put a little warm water in, set it on the floor (on a towel), and some plastic tupperware he could "wash." He'd sit there and just happily "wash dishes" with Mommy 😊
#12
I Bought A Second Hand Book For My Kid And Didn’t Look Closely At The Cover
It’s in Latin. We don’t speak Latin.
To employ positive parenting, UCDavis Health recommends a strategy of promoting good behaviors with PRIDE skills: Praise, Reflection, Imitation, Description, Enjoyment.
The idea is to take note of the good behaviors that counteract the bad behaviors the child has committed. If they acted aggressively, commend them the next time they are careful. If you caught them lying, recognize them the next time they tell the truth.
#13
At Least They Ate The Dinner You Made!
#14
Tanned A Bit Too Much While Wearing Shoes. Kids Call Them My Chimp Feet
#15
I'd Like To Know How She Interpreted That
To all you parents out there, we’d like to hear from you, especially. How do you handle such situations with your kids? Share your insights and colorful stories in the comments!
#16
I Bought My Kid A Drone For Christmas, The Wife Doesn't Love It
#17
Tornado-Driven M**der-Branch Impales My House Directly Above My Kid’s Bed
#18
What My Son Did To My Duct Tape
#19
Drove My 17 Year Old Son To Visit My Childhood Home
#20
Child Opened 3 Gallons Of Interior Paint
Bob Brooce 5 months ago
A kid like that can walk while you try to clean the car.
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Fullo Shit 5 months ago
The first mistake was to put paint and child together in the backseat😅
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ƒιѕн 5 months ago
Well it does say interior paint, so the kids did good yes?
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Spacey Stacey 5 months ago
OMG!! How did you not stop yourself from drowning that poor kid in paint? I would never ever harm a child but something like this might push the best of us waaaaaaay over the edge!!
Kit Black 5 months ago
I'd say the first step would be to look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, how on earth do you believe that a young child was capable of this...
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Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 🇵🇸 5 months ago
Maybe it wasn't closed properly. Just my guess.
Load More Replies... Hugh Crawford 5 months ago
Um, how? Was the lid not on? Those things are hard to open without the right tool, and even then...
KnightOwl86 5 months ago (edited)
Why put the paint next to the child? that's just asking for trouble..
BossyCloud 5 months ago (edited)
OP posted a picture of it after they cleaned it: https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/s/KGlz69stJu
DEW 5 months ago (edited)
Get it before it dries and maybe get it up. I dropped a gallon of purple paint on plush carpet and went and got a bucket of soapy water. Some how I got every bit up. This happened years ago and when I walk past the spot there is still nothing. I'm amazed every time I see it. Edit to add the paint was a medium purple and the carpet is a light brown. We called it the coffee carpet with creamer. LOL!!
#21
Something Bit My Kids Ear
#22
Neighbor’s Snot Nosed Kids Got Ahold Of Their Guns And Shot Through My Room
#23
My Kid Got This In Her Easter Basket. I Was Confused About Why She Didn’t Want It So I Took A Bite. It’s Soap
#24
Just Bought Gallon Of Chocolate Milk For The Kids
Bumped it trying to put it in to the fridge and it noped right out of my hand. A gallon really doesn't seem like much, until you have to clean it off the floor. The splatter zone behind me was pretty impressive too.
#25
This One Count?
#26
Not A Single Pair In This Whole Hamper
#27
My Kid Poured Candle Wax Down The Drain
#28
Found A Blanket In The Box That Was Supposed To Contain My Kids’ Mini Air Hockey Table Christmas Present
It was a heavy weighted blanket to mask the thievery. My sister ordered this for my kids on Amazon. My kids were so bummed out even though Amazon is letting us return it.
#29
12-Year-Old Son Fell Off His Bike And Dislocated His Toe
Child of the Stars 5 months ago
Ouch! My oldest once gave herself a concussion when she walked into a metal sign post.
#30
My Kids Spent All Day Yesterday Making This Gingerbread House
I had my oven on preheat to make dinner and forgot they placed the house in the oven so my cat wouldn't ruin it in 5 seconds.... Well this is the aftermath. They're on the way home from school now and they don't have a clue yet. Happy Wednesday, I guess.
#31
I Asked The Kids To Check On How Many Eggs We Had Left, Quote "We Have Plenty"
#32
Aftermath Of My Kid's Baseball Game. We Told The Dude He Should Not Park There. He Ignored Our Advice Since He Was "Close To The Field". Safelite Repair, Safelite Replace
Roberta Surprenant 5 months ago
Local field has big signs warning not to park in some areas during games.
#33
UPS Tracking Says Our Pottery Barn Kids Package Was Delivered To Our Front Door
No packages at our house. Driving to work this morning, my wife sees this about 1/8 of a mile from our house. Those are our packages.
Billo66 5 months ago
GPS led me down some sketchy roads one time making a delivery. When it said, Your destination is on the left. It was just an old cemetary way out in the country, not modern like funeral home or any outbuildings. Just creepy overgrown tombstones. They did not receive a package.
#34
Some Poor Kid’s Croc And Sock Jammed In The Escalator
#36
My Kid Is Practicing Her Name... In Nail Polish On The Wall... Of A Rental
#37
While The World Is Fighting Over TP, My Toddler Is Giving Ours A Bath
#38
Just Started Working From Home. My 7yo Is Brutal
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
In that case….YOU can get a job, junior. And start paying rent.
#39
Finally Replaced My Laundry Basket That Had A Broken Handle For 3 Years. Only For My Son To Break The Handle Of The New One Before Its First Use
#40
My 5-Year-Old Made A Cat Food Bath For His Sister
kissmychakram 5 months ago
Impressive that a 5 year old was strong enough to carry the bag containing that amount of cat food into the bathroom and over the edge of the Tub and fill it that much without spilling all over the floor.
#41
Wife Spent $60 On This Swiss Army Backpack And It Didn’t Even Last One School Year
For reasons I don’t understand all the kids at my child’s school refuse to use their lockers and insist on carrying every book they are given all day every day. Any parents on here have experience with a book bag that can carry the load equivalent of 20 bricks without shredding like wet toilet paper?
#42
My Son Teased His Sister And She Threw A Switch Controller At My Parent's 75" TV
#43
Had This Plate On Our Jeep For 3 Years. 3 Months Ago Dmv Contacted Us Saying Someone Complained About It And We Had To Get New Plates. We Got It Because Our Son Plays Baseball
Colleen Glim 5 months ago
So you have to get a new plate because some snowflake was offended?! B*tch please!
#44
My Daughter Taped This To The Front Door To “Prank” The Neighbors
#45
Three-Year-Old, My Wife’s Switch And A Glue Stick
#46
Found My Kid's Watch He Lost 3 Months Ago
BookFanatic 5 months ago
I was a latchkey kid (yay 90s!) and wore it around my neck. The chain broke in November and I found it in March. Mom apologized for scolding me for "losing" it.
#47
This Kid's Dad Paid 35$ For Him To Have A Window Seat
#48
My Kids Welcomed Me Home From Work Today With Some Breaking News
#49
My Son Ate A Battery
#50
Guess I’m Not Making The Kids Cinnamon Rolls Today…
#51
A Surprise Indeed. Have Kids They Said, It'll Be Fun They Said
The result of my 3 year old throwing a toy car at the screen.
#52
Kid Set The Microwave For 20 Minutes Instead Of The Timer
#53
I Told My Stepson 20 Times Do Not Drive My Car
My lease is up, I got a buyer & I will make some good $ off the deal, no accidents, under mileage, no stains on the inside, and not a scratch on the exterior. He crashed it twice on the same day, a mile from the house and 200 yards apart from each crash.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
Take his license away, and make him pay for the damage.
#54
Ordered My Kid A 6 Piece Nugget Meal, This Is What He Got In His Nugget Box
#55
My Sons Accidentally Lost Their Football Over The Neighbor's Fence Yesterday. This Is How It Was Found Back In Our Yard Today
#56
Traumatized My Kid Today
Apparently, if your kid wants to paint with gouache at 12am, you can’t refuse them. Seems like she will seek therapy when she’ll grow up to overcome this trauma.
#57
The Scratch My Kids Put On The TV
For some sense of scale it’s a 66’ TV. Happened the other day, it’s all I can see while watching it now.
I’m 99% sure which of my kids it was but my wife says I can’t prove it so can’t do anything about it.
No idea what he actually used to do this as the TV is pretty high (to try and avoid this sort of thing happening).
April Pickett 5 months ago
You can't decide who did it? Get them both full of chores. One did it, the other didn't stop him or blab to Mom, which is great for sibling "I got your back" loyalty (the blab to Mom part). There was damage done and consequences to pay.
#58
Spent $500 To Take My Kid To See The Broadway Show, Frozen. Only To Discover We Were Sitting Behind A Family Of 6'8" Tall Giants. We Only Could See 20% Of The Stage At Any Given Time
#59
Bought A PS5 For My Son’s Birthday. Someone At UPS Swapped It Out With A Rock
#60
Deer Hit My Car On My Wife’s Due Date For Our Third Child
#61
On Vacation With My Kid: I Went To Check In At 2:30 And My Hotel Asked I Come Back In An Hour To Pick Up My Key Cards Because My Room Wasn’t Quite Ready
I came back to a line that literally spanned a city block, 100 more people behind me. They had only one single working bathroom and no water.
#62
My 7 Y/O Brother Told Us That He Wasn't Eating Toast On His Bed
#63
My 11-Month-Old Had Enough Of My Spare Change Bottle. Would’ve Been Full In Another Month Or Two After 10 Years Of Saving
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
First baby? I guess you didn’t realize just how seriously you need to babyproof the house. Not only did he/she break something, but also could have cut themself on the broken pieces.
#64
The Hairbrush My Daughter Leaves Hanging In The Shower
#65
One Rain And All The Coal Dust In The Chimney Is Now In Our New Home
Carpet and some electronics (previously on the small table right under where it comes from) were affected. Fortunately electronics only have it on the surface.
#66
I Was Going To Surprise My Kids With A Bag Of Churros
#67
I Forgot I Was Cooking Rice And It Burned. I've Been Scrubbing For An Hour And It Won't Clean! My Parents Are Gonna K**l Me
#68
Left My Twins With A Drink And Inside Out On The TV. Called Them Up To Their Bath And They Arrived With Jet Black Hands. Wet Black Paint. It's Been 4 Days. I've Almost Got All The Paint Out
#69
7-Year-Old Flooded The Upstairs Bathroom By Plugging A Sink And Leaving It Running
April Pickett 5 months ago
A 7-year-old should have known better. I'm a big believer that stupid actions deserve consequences. These days, I believe that's taking away their electronics. Take them to the library for books, and when the bathroom is fixed, they should be required to clean it as needed.
#70
My Kid's School Charged Us $30 A Person For A Texas Roadhouse Dinner
#71
McDonald's Forgot To Put A Patty In My Kids Burger
#72
Not Quite How I Wanted My Morning To Start
*I guess maybe I need to clean the taps more often, apparently this upsets people
*Wedding ring is made of tungsten with a wooden insert - didn't realize it was a sink-k****r
*I wasn't aware we overindexed so hard on dental hygiene - most family members have their own (smallest can't have full strength fluoride, eldest likes a particular brand, I'm in the middle of invisalign treatment, hence needing two different toothpastes and a flosser that I use to spread one of the toothpastes inside the retainers overnight) tube
*We have kids, kids have friends over, apparently we overindex on dental hygiene, so we have spares on hand for when friends of kids come over
#73
My Roof Was Struck By Lightning Tonight And Now Water Is Leaking Into My Attic
Sheetrock beginning to sag in my kids' room. Been up since 0330 getting everything moved out of that room before the ceiling gives way. Rain is forecasted all morning.
#74
Bought All These Treats To Do Activities With Kids... Only To Get Quarantined For Covid
Like the title says. This sucks. But on the bright side - I will save the treats for another event the school is hosting later on.
#75
Mom Broke Her Tooth After Biting A Starbucks Sandwich. Turns Out There Was A Bone In The Sandwich
#76
My Kids Bought These Pretzels For Me For My Birthday Yesterday. I Haven't Had A Single One Yet
#77
I Present To You - My Child
#78
My Kid Doesn't Like To Have Cold Spoons When She Regears Leftovers
#79
Kid Cleaned The TV With A Sanding Spong
#80
I Got My Son Among Us And Then He Taped The Vent Lid To The Ground
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What do you think ?
ƒιѕн 5 months ago
My kids are all grown up and out of the house, so no more shenanigans going on. But I do proudly take all the credit for blowing up an egg in the microwave just because I knew what would happen but had to see for myself. 30 minutes of cleaning to get egg particles out of all those little holes made me realize how dumb of an idea that was.
BookFanatic 5 months ago
My best friend did that in high school because she was in a hurry. It exploded when she touched it and she got incinerated egg all over her glasses. She was d**n lucky.
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Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
My 12 yr old son was mad that I grounded him. Left to go to a meeting. He got in the pantry and spread flour and rice all over the kitchen floor. I walked in. Didn't explode. Just told him, "Well, you'll have a fun time cleaning that up." And he did!
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
Only four or five of these were actually funny. Most of them made me very glad that I didn’t have kids. How do these kids live to grow up?
Bryson Wong-Kuon 5 months ago
I am glad that I'm not a full grown adult yet, because I don't want to get married, nor have kids, and thanks to this article, it raised my hopes up to being a single guy lol
kkrq2vk4tm 5 months ago
That's just down to lazy parenting, the child shouldn't have access to nail polish, in the first place it's dangerous if it gets into the eyes or mouth I've raised three boys and looked after 3 grand children they have never drawn on walls because I've ensured they all had a place to paint and and draw and understood from the start that there are things you just don't do
Child of the Stars 5 months ago
Some of these are, but a huge amount of them are just bad luck or kids being kids. S.hit happens 🤷♀️
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ƒιѕн 5 months ago
My kids are all grown up and out of the house, so no more shenanigans going on. But I do proudly take all the credit for blowing up an egg in the microwave just because I knew what would happen but had to see for myself. 30 minutes of cleaning to get egg particles out of all those little holes made me realize how dumb of an idea that was.
BookFanatic 5 months ago
My best friend did that in high school because she was in a hurry. It exploded when she touched it and she got incinerated egg all over her glasses. She was d**n lucky.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
My 12 yr old son was mad that I grounded him. Left to go to a meeting. He got in the pantry and spread flour and rice all over the kitchen floor. I walked in. Didn't explode. Just told him, "Well, you'll have a fun time cleaning that up." And he did!
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
Only four or five of these were actually funny. Most of them made me very glad that I didn’t have kids. How do these kids live to grow up?
Bryson Wong-Kuon 5 months ago
I am glad that I'm not a full grown adult yet, because I don't want to get married, nor have kids, and thanks to this article, it raised my hopes up to being a single guy lol
kkrq2vk4tm 5 months ago
That's just down to lazy parenting, the child shouldn't have access to nail polish, in the first place it's dangerous if it gets into the eyes or mouth I've raised three boys and looked after 3 grand children they have never drawn on walls because I've ensured they all had a place to paint and and draw and understood from the start that there are things you just don't do
Child of the Stars 5 months ago
Some of these are, but a huge amount of them are just bad luck or kids being kids. S.hit happens 🤷♀️
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