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The modern workplace is a peculiar thing. If you went on LinkedIn, you would see "adaptable" "tech-driven" "ninjas" "thinking outside the box" about how to "move the needle" after a "strategic hibernation period." But if you opened the doors to a random small business, you would probably notice a lot less "synergy" and a lot more groaning. To get an accurate picture of it, we checked X (formerly Twitter), looking for posts people shared about their jobs. Here's what we found!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Trillian 1 week ago
There are websites like kununu at least for the German speaking countries where you can describe experiences and rate companies you've worked for
AllRightyNowThen 1 week ago
It's an INTERview. You are totally allowed to ask that and would get hired by any smart manager if you did.
Kid Murray 1 week ago
Absolutely, you're allowed to ask that. You're also allowed to ask if the interviewer enjoys s****l relations with farm animals. With 98% of the companies out there, they'll result in the same thing. It s***s, but it's true.
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sbj 1 week ago
My company made a big mistake by doing away with asking for references a few years back to save time. Unsurprisingly we ended up with completely unsuitable/unqualified people and as we're a chemical lab this led safety issues and luckily they've now reversed their decision
Chich the witch 1 week ago
We had a guy who may have started out good but turned into a dud. He quit one day as he got a job with another agency. When the problems began they actually called us and complained that we hadn't warned them. "Did you make any reference checks before hire?" "well, no".
Load More Replies... Cuppa tea? 1 week ago
When i start new job, I always ask colleagues - not on first day though - how long they are working here. Of more than half answers a year or less, it's a red flag. Unless it's a new company, but when company goes for decade, that is highly suspicious.
Kid Murray 1 week ago
I already know the problem I'm going to see with most of these, like this one. Great idea in principle, but if you ask that in an interview, you'll be blacklisted as being difficult. Unfortunately the best advice if you want to get ahead in the corporate world, and be well-liked by your superiors, is to never make waves, work off the clock, do more than expected, and biweekly, tenderly and lovingly kiss your boss's a**hole.
Amy Bowser 3 days ago
I did that - I asked to speak to a current employee who was doing the job they were hiring me for. They agreed and I got to speak to him first. I took the job.
RELATED:
#2
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 1 week ago
I have alsways said that I have enough savings to retire in style tomorrow. Providing that I die next week, that is...
#3
#4
Michael Largey 1 week ago
I've never had to lie at a job interview. I guess the interviewers were too busy waving their own red flags to check for any on me.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Ha, when asked what went wrong with the practice manager hire I advised against, I merely said she oversold herself and he underplayed how hard he would make her job. She did not last and sealed her own fate by going shopping at Peter Jones in the middle of an IT crisis. Bye Felicia.
#5
Corvus 1 week ago
My college laptop was made in 2004. Still works nowadays :P
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#6
#7
Billo66 1 week ago (edited)
Yes. I blame this on my parents. If they had only applied themselves a bit harder. lol
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
In the immortal words of the Smiths: “I was looking for a job and then I found a job/Heaven knows I’m miserable now.”
#8
Don Adams 1 week ago
Were I interviewing you, I would had to have found a place for someone that quick on their toes. Well done!
Michael Largey 1 week ago
All interviews should be done using your Cone of Silence. The usefulness and reliability of the information exchanged will remain the same.
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#10
#11
Khavrinen 1 week ago
They don't actually intend to hire anyone, they're just gaslighting their already overworked employees by pointing to the listing and saying, "We're trying to find more people, we just can't get any good applicants."
Roxy222uk 1 week ago
Or you haven’t got what they’re looking for. It’s happened to me. It smarts, but it’s better than being taken on somewhere where you might not cope or fit in well.
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Wysteria_Rose 4 days ago
I actually did this once and got the job in the end. They kept trying to hire internal employees and after losing two in the same role within months, they finally gave it to me. I kept on for a year until I had to move, but it got me out of retail and into an office environment (which I loved b/c no customers to deal with).
#12
James016 1 week ago
It's a bit sus when they are both married to other people
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#14
Saber4 1 week ago
They tried that at my company years ago. Lasted 1 day because the biggest violators were top managers. Their wives called constantly.
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 1 week ago
Boyfriend is an a*s for both breaking up via text and doing it during work hours.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
The boyfriend is the one who’s most wrong, for doing this to her while she’s at work. The manager is wrong, because people have kids or older relatives who might have a serious reason to call or text right away. If I missed something serious that happened to someone I love because of a stupid management rule, you’d best believe I’d blame the manager and make sure they knew it.
Roxy222uk 1 week ago
It genuinely is. Younger generations don’t always understand not to bring their drama into the work place if it’s happening on the phone right now. And the boyfriend’s father should be ashamed of that young man.
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#16
oktopus 1 week ago
If it's Not My Own Facilities and Not My Own Time being used to do that, why not? Workers gotta eat and not die of mysterious mould contracted from a dirty lunch container.
Adam Zad 1 week ago
I have two dishwashers at home... the one at the end of my left arm and the one at the end of my right arm.
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whiterabbit 1 week ago (edited)
Why wash my dishes on my time when I can do it on company time?
Glenn Cuneo 1 week ago
Probably have rinsed out my lunch containers 3 times in 13 years.... before taking them home.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
I leave mine in the dishwasher at work and take it home the next day. I'm next level laziness like that.
#17
Ghostchaplain16 1 week ago
And the literary person has entered the room! Upvote for Pearl Buck reference Lotekeguy. (By the way, if your user name means "low tech guy", I seriously considered calling myself the LudditeChaplain.
Load More Replies... Ghostchaplain16 1 week ago
...and now I'm thinking Pearl Harbor. I know it's not a person's name but at 71 my mind wanders away the longer the conversation goes on.
Marlene Ricker 3 days ago
and Hazel are horrible names! Some names like Beulah and Edna should just be dumped and never used again!
Load More Replies... #18
Saber4 1 week ago
You need to relax when you come home. Get a soothing sounds app and try some rain or ocean sound. Sit and just listen with headphones or earbuds. It will help tremendously. You can fall asleep to it as well. Works better than you think. I do it at lunch as well, just sit in my car and chill.
#19
#20
The Big Bad 1 week ago
My 4 year old: "So, mommy, I have to go to school, sleep, go to school, sleep, go to school... WHAT??" I felt sad for him that he caught on so early in life.
Trillian 1 week ago
That guy was a deluded dumbáss. There has to be some middle ground.
Load More Replies... #21
Roxy222uk 1 week ago
Dear Lord, America, get your shît together. In the ‘land of the free’ employees should be able to discuss what they earn with each other.
Nikole 1 week ago
This isn't about that though. The DPO fell for a phishing email. Ha ha.
Load More Replies... #22
Chich the witch 1 week ago
Had one job where we worked in pairs and fairly isolated. Saw several instances where someone hired their bud to be the assistant and after the first trip out could barely stand the sight of each other.
Samantha Panopscott 5 days ago
This has happened where I work. The two interviewed together, went through orientation together, work the same schedules in the same area together, and they dress the same as well. The whole thing is just too strange to even ask about.
#23
#24
The Big Bad 1 week ago
Humans are emotional creatures. I've seen grown men and women sob at work. Happens.
Adam Zad 1 week ago
Nowadays, everyone sobs at work. Never cry at home. Make 'em pay for your misery.
Load More Replies... #25
S Bow 1 week ago
Just the one though, takes another 5 years to get the other .
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Michael Largey 1 week ago
Better to stay incognito. I had a principal tell me "Gee, I never see you." That was because I was actually somewhere accomplishing things.
Lotekguy 1 week ago
Well, doesn't that just drip with warmth and sincerity? (I was writing this by voice, and the sentence came out with "warm fence sincerity". I wonder what that could mean?)
Ghostchaplain16 1 week ago
I once worked for a construction equipment rental firm whose owner would pay the college tuition of the children of anyone who worked for the company for more then 5 years. The guy was just incredibly generous. I absolutely LOVED being his HR leader. We NEVER had turnover issues.
#26
Roxy222uk 1 week ago
Lockdowns brought us some absolute doozies. I wish I knew of a collection of them all in one place online.
Norfolk and good 1 week ago
This happened to a guy being interviewed by the BBC a few years ago. His children came into the room, and this his wife ran in after them and attempted to hide from the camera by ducking down but she was still visible. 😆
Philly Bob 5 days ago
Cats everywhere!! What cat can resist not only a keyboard but not being the center of attention?
Load More Replies... #27
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Seen. Felt. My boss apologises for giving me work after 5 on a Friday. My official hours are until 6... he also knows I shut down email at 5.30 because anything arriving then is not urgent.
#28
Jan Rosier 1 week ago
I have a strategy for that. 'anonymous' surveys on a controversial topic get my scores, and then if there is an open remark section, I put in something outrageous, sometimes even insulting towards management. let them come at me and snitch on themselves. No result yet...
Jenna Kay 1 week ago
My previous bureau chief confronted one of my coworkers to find out why I had left a bad review of her performance on the yearly anonymous survey. My coworker did not believe I wrote it, told her I didn't write like that, and then asked how the chief would even know who wrote the review, since it was anonymous. The chief got angry, and then stomped off! I found out later when my coworker mentioned how unprofessional the chief's behaviour was, and then I laughed ... I had indeed left a nasty review, and this was proof that the surveys were not anonymous at all 🤣 everyone in my office refused to ever fill out the work surveys again!!
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
It’s NEVER anonymous. Years ago the company I worked for sent out an “anonymous” survey, and some people on my team were foolish enough to tell the truth. A few months later we were all laid off.
#29
Tele Avision 1 week ago
For decades people have been wishing for a job that will just pay them for being them.
azubi 1 week ago (edited)
"you've never had it so good - the favourite phrase of those who've always had it better" - redskins
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Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago (edited)
I actually did most of this once. OK, it was only about 5 years, but it was mountains, in the south of France. I made beer for a living. Sweet times 😁
Science Nerd 1 week ago
Why did you quit after 5 years? Is the job still open?
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#31
Noelle Greeley 1 week ago
This is why you have a light lunch and big supper. Then you can pass out on the couch afterwards.
#33
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
My boss furious about a trojan on my computer that he put there while I was in Egypt. Once I proved that to him, he avoided me for the rest of the day. Win.
BossyCloud 1 week ago
Sounds like there's more to this story? Why (or rather how) did he put that on your computer? Why were you in Egypt? How was it all resolved? 🧐
Load More Replies... #34
Lotekguy 1 week ago
The authority prop of choice used to be a clipboard. I imagine those aren't around much anymore.
Load More Replies... Glenn Cuneo 1 week ago
Years ago in college I had some stuff to do in "sheltered workshop"- not even sure if they are allowed anymore. I would show up with a clipboard filled with stuff I had to do that day. All the people in the workshop noticed it. They all lived in various group homes and road the city buses. One day I come in and all the clients were walking around with clipboards filled with papers- scrap papers, chunks of newspapers-- none of them could read.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Have a clipboard and look like you are evaluating people's productivity.
Lizzy Lizzard 1 week ago
The laziest guy in our office has taped up a bunch of graphs around his desk like he's working on something complex. Not fooling anyone.
#35
Khavrinen 1 week ago
Always seems like a weird mind-set to me: "I need you to do me a favor, so I'm going to be as much of an A-hole to you as I can possibly be."
Sue User 1 week ago
Currentky deakubg with same. Can we go live by Dec 12. Oh, you hace to do a background check and that takes two weeks. Only the can you begin to look at data to move.
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Roxy222uk 1 week ago
I take it as a challenge. I find that if I remain (genuinely) calm and kind they don’t get their energy nourished and they can’t keep it up, and end up being calm and polite back. It’s not personal. They don’t know me from Eve. They’re just frustrated, and life is cråp so I get that. We can sort this out together.
Data1001 1 week ago
Yeah I learned that pretty quickly when I was doing phone support for a major corporation for about a year. But there was one time when it backfired -- the caller actually got more angry with me for being calm and understanding... I guess he really wanted to stay angry and I was messing that up, lol.
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Dane 1 week ago
I am a 9-1-1 operator (emergency response dispatcher)...and they are mean to ME! Really??? Your/your friend/wife/father is literally having a medical emergency, and you yell at ME? You total your brand new car, and you act like that is my fault? Sorry to pester you with all the questions, but I really need to know WHERE you are, if your loved one is breathing, what the guy with the knife is wearing, etc. Sorry if that is taking up too much of your time!
Ghostchaplain16 1 week ago
My nephew was dealing with a screaming customer who wouldn't even let him explain why his luggage had missed his plane. When the customer finally told him to go ahead and tell him "your baloney response", my nephew replied: "Sir, we so appreciate the way you yell at us that we opened the luggage bay and dropped your bags over Montana. We can give you coordinates...." (customer was stunned before screaming "I want a manager". My nephew WAS the manager...
#37
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
I think that people should not have to explain the gaps. It doesn't matter what I was doing, it's not relevant to this application.
SnootWaggling Fox 1 week ago
It does matter if you were on a huge crime spree. Small ones though aren't really relevant
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KatSaidThat 1 week ago
people try pillaging my office supplies. I buy my own pens because I like coloured rollerballs. I have no problem looking for them in your drawer. They are also very much out of reach so if you have mine, you have been right around my desk to the window sill when I was not there...
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#39
George Costanza 1 week ago
Well you're getting kicked off his health insurance. Better come up with something, missy.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
Move to a country with universal healthcare, while you’re still young.
Load More Replies... #40
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Avoid the ones you can't solve. Ignore the ones you can't avoid. Deny the ones you can't ignore.
#41
Spidercat 1 week ago
I have "Kind Regards" for people I like and "Regards" for people I don't...
Ghostchaplain16 1 week ago
I once signed a business letter "Stiff and irritated". They called my boss on it and he said "If you knew him well at all, you'd know he just swore at you without swearing."
Load More Replies... Roxy222uk 1 week ago
Have you seen there’s a tee shirt that says “Noot Noot Motherfückers”? I can’t stop laughing.
Load More Replies... Doodles1983 6 days ago
My email template has "I hope this finds you well" because, so sick of typing that p**p. And to save key usage.
#42
Spidercat 1 week ago
Yeah but look on the bright side. You only have to do it for another 20yrs or so and then you can settle down to relax in a life of geriatric poverty...
Senjo Krane 1 week ago
My problem is I can live for maybe 3 months after I stop working...
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Norfolk and good 1 week ago
Black Books. Bernard to Manny: "The pay's not great, but the work is hard."
Jenna Kay 1 week ago
I so miss teaching! But when I moved to my new state they would not reciprocate my teaching certificates from two other states, so now I work for the state agency that people really hate!
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#44
SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
I once got an award for my editing work…then my company lost the contract and laid off the team six months later.
#45
SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
I saw David Bowie three times. I also saw R.E.M. three times.
2bwhctmvgn 1 week ago
People who are willing to tell you a story you asked for? People who are old enough to have seen Michael Jackson in concert? What is the amazement here?
#46
#47
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Was REALLY hoping that King Charles would make coronation day a holiday...
Ghostchaplain16 1 week ago
I just celebrated the 42nd anniversary of my 29th birthday this month. I've never reached 30!
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 6 days ago
Unless my birthday falls on a Monday or a Friday, I usually go to work. I was born on the 13th of a month, so when it’s a Friday, I *really* want the day off.
#48
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
I, 51f, make a point of kissing my plushy giraffe goodbye in the morning. He just looks smug while I sigh and reluctantly leave... (I'm more sane than this sounds, I promise, not sure when kissing Groot goodbye became part of my morning ritual).
Auntriarch 1 week ago
I am 67 and retired, and I stroke my raven plushie when I get downstairs in the morning, he gets a grumpy look on his beak if I don't
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#49
tom (bat/man) 1 week ago
when I started working in 1991 the HR department was 1 person for a company of 400 people. Now it has 19 staff for 450 people
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
The White House could do with a decent HR department that also includes Donnie...
#50
Corvus 1 week ago
It is at my work... and the IT dept itself (whic is supposed to supervise it) does most of the online gaming :D
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 1 week ago
I used to work for a 16-19 college, we would freak out the students by taking over their computer to remind them why they signed a usage policy.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
Ok, I'm that tired that I thought you said sausage policy.
Load More Replies... #51
Michael Largey 1 week ago
Where my mother worked, they first gave you the salary schedule to read before they would give you the application. They saved a lot of paper that way.
Miracle Max 1 week ago
I drove an hour to take a test for a job. 2 pages in I realized I was not even remotely qualified :(
Science Nerd 1 week ago
Why did that stop you? They never expected any applicant who met their qualifications to apply.
Load More Replies... JoRo 1 week ago (edited)
I was interviewing someone via Teams recently and he fluffed a question. I said don't worry about it and moved on. With the next question, he started answering it and then I just saw his finger come towards the screen as he ended the meeting. It was for a semi-senior position, he could have just said "I'm not sure we're aligned on this role but thank you for considering me", or similar. It was funny the way he did it though 😅
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
HCA (a second dishonourable mention) has an online application page that you literally have type in each job you did. I gave up even though I was really well qualified and suited, and it would have been £10k more.
#52
#53
#54
April Pickett 1 week ago
I'm sure your Dad was amazed at all the new technology available today.
22xy99mx8w 6 days ago
...or disappointed that you're doing work on your personal device during non-work hours.
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#55
ynyrhydref56 1 week ago
That's nothing. I once did a whole shift before realising I hadn't been rostered that day just thought I was.
Mike Rodrick 1 week ago
I awoke after a winter after work nap, thought it was the next day because it was 6:00 & dark & called off because I thought I was going to be late. Obviously it was evening of the same day which meant I had to call again to tell them to ignore the previous message.
Load More Replies... #56
#57
#58
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
That was literally how I felt and looked this morning after my shower sitting back on my bed. Bloated from late night snacks and some coke (cola) when getting up, and wondering W*F to wear...
#59
Bec 1 week ago
I teach. The answer to the question, what are you doing over Spring Break: I have to finish my grading and post grades, catch up on email, go to various doctors appointments, get the car's oil changed, work on whatever house projects we never have time for - I need a break from my break at the end of the week!
Senjo Krane 1 week ago
You'd think by now they would have invented disappearing clothes or something. Ok, maybe not...
#60
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
Trying to get a better offer so I can use it to blackmail my current employer for a raise. True story...
#63
#64
Science Nerd 1 week ago
We have a major project with an upcoming deadline so you’ll have to come in over the weekend.
#65
Science Nerd 1 week ago
And you’re in I.T. So part of your day is crawling under desks to see which cables the person disconnected with their feet, all the while complaining how unreliable the network is.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
T-shirt, shorts and flip flops. That's Queensland formal in summer!
April Pickett 1 week ago
It's probably a suit jacket, tie, and suit shorts. I hope they allow flip-flops.
#67
#68
Spidercat 1 week ago
Mate if mine (wearing a Durag) was once asked to remove his "Bonnet" by airport security. 🤣
Tele Avision 1 week ago
I commented to the attendant wearing a durag at my retirement home that we are both wearing an adult diaper.
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Tim Douglass 6 days ago
OK, Got to be a pedant here. It's a "do-rag" - it covers up your "do", i.e. hair do. Others may disagree, but the evidence is strong. For but one example, soldiers in the Vietnam war called them a "drive-on rag", building on the "do" spelling. OK, back to your regularly scheduled programming.
#69
#70
April Pickett 1 week ago
This is what you do after 30 years of work. You gain "experience" and are peacefully happy with it.
#73
#74
Roxy222uk 1 week ago
I’m so confused. In their ‘good old’ old fashioned times didn’t the women stay at home, packing a lunchbox for their husband to take to work?
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
So eating lunch is feminine? I'll bet you think umbrellas are feminine too, and that read men just stand out in the rain like idiots.
#76
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#79
#80
Helena 1 week ago
This is why I built a searchable glossary at work! I may be the only one it makes happy, but s***w em. Every room has like 3 names, we use acronyms for everything, and they can't just use industry standard naming conventions, so I made a freakin glossary and have it on our intranet homepage.
Science Nerd 1 week ago
But when every department changes its name every six months, your glossary is out of date weekly.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 1 week ago
Welcome to the US Postal Service! Now, go load those OTRs onto that SCF dispatch.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 days ago
That’s what it’s like working for the Army as a civilian.
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#87
#88
#89
Michael Largey 1 week ago (edited)
My last boss was younger than I was and acted like a son to me. A son-of-a-b***h, to be specific.
KatSaidThat 1 week ago
I now have two little sisters in reception and have a much better relationship with them than I ever had with the half blood sister I do have.
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Auntriarch 1 week ago
I miss some of the people. But they've invited me to their team Christmas lunch. Would it be a faux pas if I wore my pink diamante tiara that says "retired"?
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Tele Avision 1 week ago (edited)
I like the system of Capitalism. I can fish in a pond I don't own and didn't pay for. Use someone else's fishing pole and tackle. Keep a third of all the fish I caught and come back tomorrow to do it again.
azubi 1 week ago
Except you can't if they don't let you and they own the pond so you have to starve if they don't let you, and your position in that is up to who your parents are.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 1 week ago
I miss some of the people. But they've invited me to their team Christmas lunch. Would it be a faux pas if I wore my pink diamante tiara that says "retired"?
Load More Replies... Tele Avision 1 week ago (edited)
I like the system of Capitalism. I can fish in a pond I don't own and didn't pay for. Use someone else's fishing pole and tackle. Keep a third of all the fish I caught and come back tomorrow to do it again.
azubi 1 week ago
Except you can't if they don't let you and they own the pond so you have to starve if they don't let you, and your position in that is up to who your parents are.
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