Hey Pandas, What’s The Worst Thing A Parent Has Ever Said To You? (Closed)
Can be whatever, and I'm sorry any of this happened, but you can share or vent here.
My step father went to jail for molesting me. My mother, shortly before I went into foster care, told me I was the reason she lost the best thing that ever happened to her. Yes, she was referring to my step father.
Maybe we’d be better off if you succeeded in killing yourself- my drunken abusive no longer step-dad
When I was about 8 years old my family (mom, dad, 4 older siblings and I) went to family counseling and the counselor told me that me because my dad was an alcoholic while my mom was pregnant with me that I was destined to be an alcoholic too. That really messed me up, so badly that even the smell of beer makes me physically ill to this day (at age 49). When I was about 30 or so, I finally got the courage to tell my mom how much this whole counseling experience messed me up and that I think about it a lot and it still bothers me. She asked me why I couldn't just shut up and be grateful because apparently the counseling worked because it kept me from becoming an alcoholic. Definitely the last time I tried to talk about my feelings and how the past has affected me...
It's about what he didn't say. My dad called my sister and brother creative, athletic, intelligent, cheerful, courageous, etc. He couldn't find anything good to say about me.
"Now you've got them doing it too!" This was said by my mom after my brother and sister freaked out about a bug. I have panic attacks because of multilegged things so somehow it's my fault they got scared. Either when I was blamed for their divorce or when they said nothing and walked away
"You're a manipulative piece of s**t" - My Mother.
"Your words don't matter if I can't hear them." - My mother.
I have a pretty soft voice IRL, and she said this as I was trying to show her something that I made for her.
Oh where do I start?
"You have wasted potential, it's horrible how you just became a waste even after all our hard work." -Dad
"I used to pray to god I wouldn't kill you, or abuse you. Now I wish I had killed you." -Mom
"You're failing because you're just some dumb bitch, huh? Is that right, you dumb bitch?" -Brother
And at many points have they disregarded my sexuality and denied me of my name and proper pronouns- because they don't wanna have me getting a new name and have them change it again. Sorry, my gender is confusing to me and until I find a good name, you gotta suck it.
"Suck it up. You just have *lists one of my mental disorders* as an attention getter." -All of my family at some point.
I'm hoping to live with my uncle or grandma this summer....
“That’s the most selfish thing to do” after I told my mom that I wanted to commit suicide. She went on to tell how selfish that would be and started yelling at me for thinking that. And then said “people have it so much worse than you” instead of reassuring me not to do it. So if you see this and you are also struggling just hold on a little harder for your friends that love you. Any of the pets you have if you have them. And for everything that life has for you in the future.
"You've gotten fat since you quit, huh." - My mom, after I quit boxing in middle school. I wasn't fat, I just wasn't ripped anymore. I went back to boxing after that (her goal) and I can trace my eating disorder directly to that comment.
Age 9 - My father flipped a penny back into the room at me after he'd done what he wanted and walked away laughing.
After 42- 3 months after my husband had a major heart attack and bypass surgery and I wouldn't do something she wanted me to do for her "Boohoohoo, my husband had a heart attack and I can't" in the voice you probably read that in.
when I was 8(I am 17 now), my father, who is no longer in my life and has not been for 4 years, told me that "all woman grow up to be a b*tch, including you." Let's just say that was an awful thing to say, and that's not the worst thing he did.
Once I picked out an outfit I thought looked cute in 6th grade (cant remember exactly what outfit) and I felt so confident because it was something new, when I usually wore darker colors, this outfit was COLORFUL, so I came downstairs and my mom took one look at me and said something along the lines of "why do you look homeless in everything you wear" and that scarred me, I immediately went upstairs and changed my clothes back to darker colors, put a hoodie on, and hid my hair and boom thats how you get self esteem issues kids, if you're a mom please don't tell your kid they look bad in something. It hurts.
Not what they said, but what they didn't. I've never heard either tell me they are proud of me, and there were a few times when I was younger, I would get worked up and say things such as: "I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment." Not once would they even reply, or bring it up again.
"you're the reason that I'm dying of cancer"
- my mum (March 17, 2011)
"You are not adopted"
me and my mom dont always get along so we were arguing over god knows what and i have to admit i really pissed her off so i told her that she only cares about herself (i actually kinda meant it tbh) so she told me that i have an ugly face so i told her that i can photoshop and ugly face but not an ugly peronality like hers. she was lost for words.
Age 10, first Thanksgiving with my step-family. I had been playing with all the step-cousins around front but went to the kitchen to get something to drink. I walk in on my dad telling my step-uncle how perfect my step-sister is — smart, studious, athletic, obedient, ladylike, etc. Then he said I was just the opposite — obstinate, willful, lazy, a waste of talent, etc. I started crying and ran back out front to my step-cousins. My dad chased after me, grabbed me, slapped me and said, “what did you expect me to do - lie?” He kept slapping me until I stopped crying. None of the other adults intervened. Everyone went to sit down for dinner after as of nothing happened and I was just left standing there by myself.
I have several, but here are 3...
1. I was in 3rd grade and my parents sat me down and told me I was fat. They put chains and pad locks on the fridge and cupboards and signed me up for Weight Watchers by lying about my age. I suffered from eating disorders off and on since.
2. I was having my 16th birthday party and was standing at the crossroads ready to show guests to my house when my mom said my friend and I looked like hookers.
3. I was graduating college and I was told not to have a party because it would make my brother feel bad.
Omg, I have so many. Time to call the therapist....
When I was 9, My mom told me "you sould be more like your sister" when she was drunk .To give some background info, my sister died 2 years before this.
“I wish I had a son.”
When I got divorced, my mother said I’d disgraced the family. After she died, I learned my father was her third husband. She had not been a widow... just a hypocrite.
"Open this door our ill snap your neck like a pencil!" proceeded by them barging in to my room and slamming me into the wall
My father used to tell us "I didn't want 1 of you, what the f*ck am I going to do with twins"
When I was 11 I broke my arm for the second time in my life, the hospital didn't immediately set my arm they had me stay overnight and were going to do it the next morning. So my mother seemed really angry about the inconvenience, I didn't really know at the time there were a lot of problems between her and my dad, and they would be divorced in just a few years. I asked if my dad could stay the night with me at the hospital so she could go back to work because she was complaining about missing work. The next morning they set my arm and both my parents were there when I went in but my dad went to work once he knew I was ok. So my mom was carrying me home, we stopped to eat and in the middle of the meal for with no prompt at all my mother says to me, "You wouldn't have broken your arm if you weren't so fat and clumsy." It felt like a punch I had never had either of my parents say anything remotely close to that to me, my mother wanted to hurt me I guess, it worked. I still think about. I get along with my mother she is a great mother, she was going through a dark point in her life and that doesn't in any way excuse what she did. Although I did get a small amount of unintended revenge on her. When I was 15 I would break my arm yet again, I don't have brittle bones or anything, just bad luck. My mother was working at the time, so she left work and met us at the emergency room door when my grandmother brought me. I see my mother and start crying and apologizing to her, sobbing and saying "I'm sorry momma I didn't mean to do it." My mother said she felt so awful in that moment having her son apologize to her for hurting himself, and she said all the staff looked at her in that moment like she was a monster. I can't stress this enough my mother really is a wonderful woman and I love her very much and we have a great relationship.
She didn't say anything, just set the house on fire so she could scam the insurance company, She left for a drive around the block so that she had an excuse as to why half the kitchen was burned. I was asleep in my room the whole time. What if she had an accident?
Pretty much everything my dad has said, and hasn’t said, but this hurt me the most.
One time I was driving to my friends house to eat dinner, and my dad didn’t know. When my dad called me and my mom were at the grocery store. She told him where we were and where we were going. He freaked out. He said he was gonna take me away from my mom, that he was gonna sl1t my moms throat. When we got to my friends house, I couldn’t speak. He’s told me to stop getting distracted, that I’m acting like a brat, he told me to my face that I’m a mistake, he’s told me that I need to be perfect. I’m scared of my dad, he said that I’m not. My dad doesn’t listen, when I’m trying to tell him how he’s making me feel, he tells me that it isn’t true, that I’m a liar. He’s part of the reason I’m suicidal. He KNOWS I have a type of ADHD, and he KNOWS I have anxiety, he doesn’t help with that. The thing my dad has done to hurt me the most, is what he hasn’t said.
I found out recently - I am 78 and my kids are ages 60 down to 45 ish -- that I was that parent who said some awful things. I had no idea. I tried to make amends and it made things worse. I have no excuse other than ignorance and stupidity. I'm so sorry for all of you; I couldn't even read all the posts. It's what I learned, too. Now that I know better - it's too late.
"I wish I'd never had children." Thanks, Mom. Honestly, I often wonder why my parents didn't just get a divorce and send me to live with my godmother.
I was going to the prom and had a little eyeshadow on. She told me I looked like a whore.
one day when i was 10 my lil brother was born. so a few months later i was 11 and there was a huge birthday i was not invited to so i told my mom and she told me, and i quote " thats why we gave you (lil bros name) so you can have someone to play withplay with" i dont think she meant it tho because she was extremaly tired at the time
Not a parent but Uncle P said; "Don't ever do anything you wouldn't do if Uncle P was standing right there watching" I was 12 and yes, liked boys.
“I’m done with you! You’re dead to me! Your grandparents would not be proud of you they are rolling in their graves.” My mother after I couldn’t afford to give her money to keep her car after my step father tried to get me to run off with him. I refused and told her then she hated me cause it was my fault he wanted me.
"Disappear" is a painful one.
My sister is a fan of the body-shaming "Your (chest) looks weird"
thx sis :/
Always been opinionated and blunt. My mother told me I needed to "be less opinionated and learn to keep my mouth shut because if I didn't I would never find a man to marry."
“I’m sorry I have cancer”. My dad tried to blame it on himself :-(
My step mom called me a lazy ass mother f****r...
After my mum found out i was self harming she told me i was a f**k up and that i couldn't be any more work if i tried. She did nothing about it.
Mother: then go and kill yourself, I'll be here waiting for the call, so go do it. (and I tried lol, but failed :'v)
Father: you're not going to do anything worth in your life, and just end up cleaning houses, if you want I'll get some clients for you.
This after I got an scholarship and said I wanted to study graphic design in other city and not really in my hometown, so he got angry cuz that meaned he needed to speend more money. I went, he has not paid a single dollar. Btw, cleaning houses was not the problem, that's a respectuful job.
Good for nothing! You will finish under a bridge as homeless. Today I have a loving wife , a good job paying well, two houses… The bastard has no friends, live alone and get an argument with everybody…
My grandmother said I looked like a relief kid because I wanted to wear dresses. She said my hair was awful... said I was fat.. My aunt told me I was a lesbian(which would be ok but I wasn't). My mother told me that I'm a Baldwin (my father's last name meant to insult me) and that I act act just like my dead father- book smart and stupid. My grandfather pointed out that I had a "big f***y" to my cheerleading coaches so I needed the extra large briefs. My aunt and my grandmother told the doctor at the ER to disregard my attempted suicide/overdose on Tylenol because it was just for attention. I thought my father's real name was Jerko as a child because that is what my family referred to him as. My aunt, mother, and grandmother told me I'd better not cry at my father's wake. I was six. They told me it would be embarrassing if I cried.
my dad continuously making fun of my comfort characters even though he knows it triggers me because i've told him multiple times
When I told her to stop touching my bra -
"It really upsets me when you say 'stop' and 'no' to me."
When my brother came out as trans -
"It would be nice if you took MY side in this! She'll forever be my precious daughter and nothing will change that!"
The day after I told her I liked the same gender (for the 3rd time) -
"You can't have a sleep over with Jaime if that's the case because I don't want you having sex!"
Heads up - I'm 14.
- My brother's 18.
My 18th birthday, my "dad" called to tell Mom this was the last check. No happy birthday.
No one will ever want to marry you! You can’t do anything right. You are so lazy, why do you wear your hair like that, you look like Olive Oyl (Pop Eye’s girl friend)
“I wish I had a son.”
¨dont talk to her she is just gonna continue being passive aggressive¨
My dad is really mean when he's mad. When I forget to do something small, he yells at me and tells me how terrible I am at life and that I will amount to nothing. "Oh, now you're gonna cry? Yeah. Cry. that doesn't do sh!t for you" Guess what, dad? You aren't doing anything for me in this situation either. I still love my dad, though. This only happens when he's mad, so I try my best not to make him mad. He's also a cheater and manwhore :/.
Not my dad but a relative I lived with. “Everyone’s life would have been better if you’d never been born. You’re nothing but a burden.” I was born with birth defects that required several surgeries and many medical visits.
My mother always made it very clear how close we were to losing the house all the time, how much debt we were always in. I grew up in fear of having no money and lived overly anxious of what it is to be an adult.
So I worked hard, started my own business and created several income streams so now I’m financially stable and safe from reliving my child hood fears and allowing my children to grow up without that same burden.
My mother now tells me that all I care about is money and I’m obsessed with it. Ouch.
My mom : "I wish you died when i gave birth to you at the hospital". Well that f****d me up.
18 years old, sat in my bedroom with boyfriend at the time. We were just chilling and watching movies. I pass my mother in the hallway on the bathroom and my mother says “send him to my room il show him a real woman” spent years wondering why I wasn’t a proper woman before realising she was a narcissist. Sadly tip if the iceberg of horrible things she has said to me.
Once my mom said that i ruined her holiday... ouch
My presence always seem to bother my parents. They tried their best to keep me away from them.
When I was 12 I was 5'2'and weighed 110 pounds. My mother said I was fat and put me on a diet.
You are hard to love.
My dad said trust me meant f**k you so all my adult life was messed up!!!
My mum constantly told me that my dad was sick because of me and that "I was killing him".
My mom said “You are too big, too tall, too loud, too fat” I came out looking Iike my dad’s side of the family, that are tall, and voluptuous. She is petite. That still hunts me to this day.
When I was a teenager my mom explained to me that I should always have a backup plan when I get married, because no matter how much you trust someone “you just never know,”. Thanks mom, I’m in a trusting and secure marriage with a wonderful guy now, making sure that lesson never pops back into my head and screws things up.
Me and my grandmother where in an argument about like when I get older, how to dress, "being pretty and stuff" and she ended saying I dress like a "hobo" and how "guys arent attracted to that type of thing "or whatever. There was more to the conversation, so I think she was just kinda upset at me for other reasons, but that still bothers me. Another time she was talking about how rude and crude she thinks lesbians are and said "I think all lesbians deserve to be shot". It's hard how literal she is sometimes, and I know she loves me and all, but gosh some of that stuff she says sometimes just really messes with me😢
My grandmother had Bipolar Type II. (Which wasn’t figured out until I went to college for psychology and social work and figured it out.) She was legally married and divorced 14 times that we know of and moved my mom and her siblings all over the Midwest their whole life. When I told my mom that my first husband was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive and also cheating on me and I wanted to leave, my mom said “You don’t wanna be like grandma, do you?” She was implying I needed to stay to save face. She has always been more concerned about coddling and enabling my older brother to care about any issue in my life. He was having relationship issues at the time as well but did not have someone physically hurting him daily and having a gun held to his head when trying to leave the relationship so I’m still in shock that his issues mattered more. He’s a selfish, manipulative narcissist and my mother just plays into it and treats us completely differently. Realizing it all has really destroyed my relationship with my mom and brother. I did get out though with legal help and strength and intelligence of my own and am happily married to someone who is not abusive in any way. But that comment and neglect still really hurts to this day.
No one will love you if your fat - father to me at 16 after putting on a bit of weight after a bout of bulimia