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There’s nothing like a funny, well-thought-out meme to induce chuckles when you need it the most. They may not draw out belly laughs, but they’re amusing enough to snap you out of a funk if you were ever in one.
As always, we at Bored Panda are here to supply you with your occasional dose of random yet laugh-worthy memes. This latest batch is from the More Memes Dammit Facebook group, and the name itself should tell you enough.
We’ve collected some noteworthy images from the page that capture the humdrum of daily life in an interestingly humorous way. Enjoy scrolling through!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
LizzieBoredom 1 year ago
What if your wife is murdered while you are out getting a donut, and you can't prove it wasn't you because you didn't get a receipt, and Tommy Lee Jones starts hunting you down while the one-armed man goes free?
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
I did this once at a restaurant I worked at. I wrote "The president has been kidnapped by ninjas! Are you bad dudes bad enough to rescue him". From the '80s videogame Bad Dudes. Id you win your character gets to have hamburgers with President Reagan. I miss the '80s.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
The King and Queen of England had hot dogs with President and Mrs. Roosevelt. Does that count?
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Boredest Panda 1 year ago
*Me who stole someone’s donut at 3am in the morning and am now in court for my crimes* Oh shoot.
antoinette maldari 1 year ago
That would be the Club Sandwich. A sandwich that is so popular, people formed a club about it.
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Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
Can ANYONE tell me why my score at the top of the page has gone from a pretty green 200+ down to a red 148- in one day? What the...wait...do I care?
LandAhoy 1 year ago
Perhaps it was a special occasion, a holiday, or something, and you want to keep it as memorabilia, so you can remember that you ate that particular donut at that particular shop. This might jog more memories of the special day/trip, many years or decades in the future. Perhaps, you end up loving the donut so much you want to go back, but can't remember which shop it was. But yeah, I agree it's 99% of the time a waste of paper- they should ask.
RELATED:
#2
Freya the Wanderer 1 year ago
I've seen similar pictures before, but this always gets a chuckle.
#3
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
You need to have a pet that can make it to 35yo according to the Constitution. Best off electing a turtle. Those things last forever.
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Mike F 1 year ago
For sure. Sadie pretty much dictates the nightly sleeping arrangement.
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MirohLoome (he/she/they) 1 year ago
my kitty is lost i havent seen her for a week I'm gonna cry
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
I feel concerned when she doesn't! Is she mad at us? Did we do something to offend her? I'll be up all night worrying about it
DragonofMordor 1 year ago
"Let" is not a word that is used to describe human actions towards cats. It only works the other way around.
Memes aren’t just silly photos passed around for quick laughs. Experts like digital anthropologist Giles Crouch see them as a tool for the “intercultural exchange of ideas and concepts.”
In an article for Medium, Crouch noted that memes can likewise provide a “great snapshot” of modern society, regardless of whether they remain relevant for years or just a few days or weeks.
#4
Happy Blue Panda 1 year ago
Someone at work said to me in jest You're crazy! I replied yes but not for the reason you think.
#5
Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
I don't understand the "no one" thing. Can someone explain? Because it seems to me it's being wrongly used these days....
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
It means, no one asked to see/hear something, but the other person says or does something (often weird).
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Andy Frobig 1 year ago
If somebody compared me to Bugs Bunny, I could quit, because there's no topping that
#6
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Pigs been flying for a while. The NYPD got their first helicopter in 1948.
UKGrandad 1 year ago
Well somebody's just made himself a marked man. Good luck with all the traffic stops, Ray 😂
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Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
Oh LOL. I just heard Glo say when pigs fly? Haven't thought of that show in years.
You’ve likely seen a political meme or two and how it likely drew significant traction. People have used this seemingly innocuous tool to spread their beliefs about a country’s state of affairs, and for good reason.
A publication by Saint Mary’s University noted that memes can “compress complicated ideas into digestible pieces.” They then become easily shareable, for better or worse.
#7
OpheliaPoe 1 year ago
Just found out that quite a few people dislike the same person who was unnecessarily mean to me. Turns out she has been unnecessarily cruel to NUMEROUS people and until this past weekend I had never spoken to to any of them (one I just met) about it. We shared our mutual dislike for this "snake in the grass" and it was very satisfying to learn that others dislike her even more than I do!
Farnzy 1 year ago
Nothing is more validating and satisfying than when someone comes up to you unprompted and tells you they had bad interactions with the person who's mean to you!
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BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago
This one I get. When Elon was the darling of the American left, I was preaching into the void about how s****y a human he really was, and nobody would listen to me. But he makes electric cars, how bad could he be? He's putting rockets in space. But but but... Now you know what I'm talking about people
Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago (edited)
It's always like, "WELL FINALLY, AND YEAH, THANKS A LOT FOR NOT BELIEVING ME"
Wondering Alice 1 year ago
I worked with a woman last year who went really far out of her way to be cruel to me but everyone thought she was very kind. Every so often she would cry about how I didn't seem to like her, and I had to go to HR and defend myself. She was friendly with my line manager, so I knew there was little point in telling anyone. When she left, everyone seemed sad to see her go. Her replacement is lovely - she also said she had been looking to join our team for a while, but didn't want to work with that woman. She knew many stories of her cruelness causing massive problems in every place she had worked. My line manager said the other day how much better our team works now and a different coworker said obviously because the meany had left. Turned out about half of us had been targeted, the other half genuinely thought she was absolutely lovely.
Lene 1 year ago
I've been telling ppl for over a year that a certain boy in my 5yo's room in day care is someone we should avoid at all costs. My bad feelings about this boy only got stronger the few times he's stood in my way when I tried to go through a door. Nobody really took me seriously.... until he started to tell girls in day care to show him their girlie parts and he's doing some "kissing games" where he tries to force the girls to kiss him. FINALLY everybody agrees that this boy should be avoided.
#8
David 1 year ago
THIS SO MUCH. I've said this for years. Happy people chasing butterflies while the announcer quickly says your spleen may fall out and some patients go blind.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Or ANTIdepressive meds cautioning "suicidal thoughts or actions".
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Solitas 1 year ago
I just love the fact that they have to tell you not to take it if you are allergic to it, oh and rectal bleeding is never an acceptable side effect
Sue User 1 year ago
Like how the heck do you know if you are allergic unless you take it. I am not claravoyant.
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Mrs.C 1 year ago
My favorite current commercial talks about a rare and aggressive cancer of the perineum. Tain't cancer. To treat some fairly minor thing.
justanotherweirdo 1 year ago
The most disturbing one I ever heard was “tears in the stomach or intestines.” 😳
Trisec Tebeakesse 1 year ago
Try our new XLS-7 D**g if you have abdominal pain! Side effects may include abdominal pain.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
What they don't tell you is that he is serenading the table with a peppy little ditty about an@l leakage
Science Nerd 1 year ago
But at least you will have clear skin and a head of strong glossy hair when you die. You’ll look good at the open casket funeral.
#9
Spring Fisk 1 year ago
One time a praying mantis accidentally got on our connecting flight. We only found him as we were about ready to leave the plain. I bet that was a confusing day for him
Joe Bloe 1 year ago
I bet he was a forest mantis, will have difficulty on plain!!
Load More Replies... Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
This is how different species move to a new area, sometimes. they hitch a ride :)
Cathy Carey 1 year ago
Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to go there and couldn't believe his luck when you came along.
Martin König 1 year ago
Or the one who was in our plane to Egypt when we came in at Brno Airport. It was either very surprised when the doors opened after few hours of buzzing, OR it just returned to Egypt with some flight miles under its belt, we'll never know.
Winter 1 year ago
[sing-quoting from an old Mortein* ad:] "Spreading disease with the greatest of ease, straight from rubbish tip to you!" *Mortein is a widely used Australian insecticide - the rest of the old jingle goes "I'm bad and mean and mighty unclean, Afraid of no-one.... 'cept the man with the can of Mortein!
Experts agree that memes have a dark side. People can easily misinterpret them, especially those that are snarky in tone. Like diss tracks, they can also be weaponized to attack or disrespect someone.
For Utah State University computer science professor Dr. Nicholas Flann, they can potentially influence and even change someone’s behavior. The current state of technological advancements also plays a significant role.
“Memes thrive in the world because we have the internet and because we have advanced artificial intelligence (AI),” Dr. Flann told Utah State Magazine.
#10
Thee8thsense 1 year ago
When someone said to me "Go f@#* yourself", I paused with a contemplative look and replied "Great idea...see you later".
sleepybear 1 year ago
i put the insult in my pocket to use it 'originally' in another argument
Frank Hayes 1 year ago
One day at work I scored a grand slam, insulting four people in front of the boss and crew. One came towards me and said 'one of these days I'll insult YOU and see how you like it!' With a grin I replied 'if you do well enough, I will shake your hand!'
#11
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Fun fact: Freddy Krueger's sweater is NOT red and black. It is in fact bright red and a mossy forest green. The costume designer chose those colors because they were unsettling.
Dela Bee 1 year ago
Red and green are also across from each other on the color wheel and when you place opposites (complementary) next to each other they mess with your optics. Red and green are most commonly used because it causes the most effect. See mom, my art degree wasn't completely useless!
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Brian Droste 1 year ago (edited)
Does anyone else see Capt. Picard in this picture minus the uniform?
Kristiina Männiste 1 year ago
I once dreamed I was cutting out tenderloin from the back of a strapped down Joker using a bigger variant of my electric chainsaw, while mocking the Joker for being so utterly incapable of ever being funny. When I woke up I was like - welll.. that was different... XD
Kristiina Männiste 1 year ago
I think my subconsciousness was telling me to face my fears but it was surprisingly graphic
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XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
🤣🤣 Freddy's like "Whoa! 😧 That's it man, I'm gonna start doing better; turn my life around, start going to the gym, eatin' salads...jesus that was f****d up"
#12
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
One of the few times the Manned Maneuvering Unit was used. Trialed and retired in 1984. It was a space jetpack that allowed astronauts to work untethered in space, but it was deemed too dangerous.
Little Wonder 1 year ago
I am not going to lie, in theory in seems like it would be interesting and fun. In practice, I should s**t myself inside out with fear.
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Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Had a driver who would take the same road(obviously) and speed up a bit on 'that one hill'. ALL the seats from the R axle back were mysteriously filled. as opposed to the rest of the trip.
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Robert Millar 1 year ago
Dave: Guys, I think I've run out of fuel. You have to come and get me. Guys: We're sorry Dave, you've got the only jetpack.
Kathaleen Chivers 1 year ago
Bahahaha you made vodka come out my nose. Not gonna lie, you owe five bucks!
Mongo Marcia 1 year ago
Our stoner bus driver would fly over the bumps for us. It was best in the back seats. Ahhh, the 70s.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
I think I could still find that bump, 50 years later and 200 miles away
The strong influence on human behavior also makes memes an effective tool for spreading hate speech and disinformation. Many are disguised in dark humor, making them more presentable.
Dr. Flann says fake news memes “can kill off hard-won information” to the point where most people won’t consider it anymore. And there are potential dangers to that.
#13
Lost Panda 1 year ago
Back when I played FiveM I played as a cop. I made sure that my unit number was always 404. The older players got it, the younger... not so much
Teutonic Disaster 1 year ago (edited)
Would be hysterical if it were in a book store, because you know "page not found". Come to think of it, maybe they're keeping the slot open for when crystal pepsi finally returns.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
One of my coworkers' has the ID number 404. When they call for him on the radio and no one answers, I always think of this.
the phantom 1 year ago (edited)
error 404 pepsi not found. try refreshing your screen or try again
#14
Red_panda 1 year ago
16 oz lasts you a couple days? Your 16 oz must be so much bigger than mine!!!!
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Ellendra Nauriel 1 year ago
Cooked pasta freezes really well. I like making a big batch just so I have extra to freeze for nights I don't feel like cooking. Freeze the pasta plain for best results. Freeze any sauces or toppings separately, in whatever portions you expect to use it in.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago (edited)
I’m really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta… So if you and about 60 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over!
#15
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
That would be Bouche. Audi likes to help scoop, by batting at the scooper and scattering the wet litter everywhere.
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MushroomHead22 1 year ago
if you were unable to clean your bathroom, and once a week someone came in to clean it for you, wouldn't you want to poop on a clean toilet?
Cathy Carey 1 year ago (edited)
I had this cat who was kinda special. She sat there watching me clean her box then as soon as I was done she went in and did both. I wasn't upset, I got the poo out and didn't have to scoop it for a day and a half.
TheElderNom 1 year ago
I don't mind, what I do mind is one of them running to poop while I'm cleaning.
All good, bad, and ugly aside, memes are likely not going out of style anytime soon. Crouch believes they will continue to be a primary means of communication that can transcend cultures. They touch on almost every aspect of life.
“That simple meme is anything but,” Crouch wrote.
#16
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
*silently wonders if anyone makes this in bouncy house castle form*🤔
Bill Swallow 1 year ago
Gotta be a Guy's place. No woman is going to say she lives in a Cathouse.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
Nah, I want a stone cottage (large) with an arched front door and a feeling of long ago luxury. Oh, and a moat.
DragonofMordor 1 year ago
It would be inside my house you'd see the cat love. It would be filled with shelves, cat trees, toys, a basic kitty wonderland.
We’d like to hear from you, readers. Which of these memes stood out to you? Share your thoughts and insights in the comments!
#19
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Ahh round boys! It's easier to visualize your cat as a sphere if your cat is literally a sphere. Physics joke BTW.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Real. Me and my best friend’s favorite activity is laying like corpses on the warm football field turf.
#20
Tempest 1 year ago
“Thousand Island dressing” is an American salad dressing and condiment based on mayonnaise and usually ketchup or tomato purée and chopped pickles. The dressing's name comes from the Thousand Islands region, along the upper St. Lawrence River between the United States and Canada.
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joann fielding 1 year ago
Um, idk what that is, but it ain't Thousand Island. The spice palette shown there is wrong for Thousand Island.
Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
Democratic salad dressing...hmmm....never thought of it like that, but you could be right
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I don't think it's real. It's a pretty small bottle, to have 1000 half-naked islands in.
#21
Adam Chang 1 year ago
"This USB-C will self destruct after 60 days to help you keep your data protected"...done
JimSteve 1 year ago
Not-actually-fun-at-all fact: This is called built-in obsolescence and is used by many different companies to ensure that people always need to buy more of their products
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René Sauer 1 year ago
Oh, they already found a pretty good (/s) solution to screw people. They put some sort of chip into their phones so that you get a nice, quick charge time only with apple cables.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
That's easy don't buy overpriced overrated apple. Buy androids they are much more user friendly, lasts a long time and cheaper.
Heras buddy 1 year ago
Put in stiffer wires and they'll break easily when you bend or fold it. Sell more cables.
Pittsburgh rare 1 year ago
It really doesn't matter. Apple fans are some of the more relentlessly brand loyal people you'll find.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Once Apple made it to the market leader they forgot all about the customer.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
On some of the less expensive iPhones they have sue low speed chips effectively rendering them USB 2 speeds.
George Costanza 1 year ago
I don't get it. I've never had any problems with any of my iPhone/iPad charging ports or cords.
#22
#23
Jane Theis 1 year ago
I may not be able to drop it like it's hot anymore but I can squat like it's warm just fine
BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago (edited)
Not me. I haven't been able to lean forward real quick since I was 35. I threw out my back when I was 42 by picking up my work badge from the floor
#24
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
It knows. Seriously. And just lies in wait for the absolute height of my anger and frustration.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
So embarrassing when you're trying to do a good storm out too.😒Then you gotta take that second to think- do I stop and unhitch myself? or do I keep storming out like "I don't even give a damn about pockets!"
Birb 1 year ago
Or when u have an insuline pump. One time a tube hooked on a door handle. Dang that hurts like hell. Thank Dog, i dont have insuline pump anymore.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
my waistline & cabinet knobs are a perfect match to catch my clothes on regularly!
#25
Scott Rackley 1 year ago
Bea is the old woman neighbor we all need that will call you out on your b******t from time to time
Felix Quinones 1 year ago
Bea Arthur was all that and a Marine. If you thought chips, the chips don't have the gumption.
#26
Anabelle Fan 1 year ago
Time is an illusion. Washing machine time doubly so. (Crappy HHGG reference)
BitchinintheBurgh' 1 year ago
They must be related to the last 2 minutes of a football game....
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
My husband thinks he's smart bc he sets his phone timer for whatever the exact amount the washer says....then he's surprised when he goes into the laundry room and the washer is still going
Panda Pandemic 1 year ago
I do this all the time in the laundry room at my apartment and it goes off at the exact same time that it's supposed to.
Load More Replies... Rusty 1 year ago
I don’t get these washing machine comments…. Mine has always been accurate. Sometimes it tells me that it shortened the program due to a low loading, but thats's appreciated.
Cathy 1 year ago
Some machines measure whether the laundry is still dirty and then wash it longer.
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Hinrik Ævarsson 1 year ago (edited)
The machine at work is 10 minutes late at minimum, so if I don't set a timer on my phone for like half an hour past the time I'm standing around like a jackals for ages. In my own time as well, since I'm washing my workwear at the end of the day most of the time and swinging by later to put it in. The dryer.
#27
Pansexual-Kat 1 year ago
NOT THE MAMMA!!! *Insert Baby hitting his dad with a frying pan here*
BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago
Yeah, I didn't get the appeal. But then I also hated Big Bang Theory and Friends. I think I don't fit the demographic those shows were going for.
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Jaaawn 1 year ago
Those people are just cruel. My cat goes where she likes, it's her house too.
Igor914624 1 year ago
The word "too" is unnecessary. The house belongs to the cat. You own nothing. You are the slave that provides meals, a clean litter box, a warm place to sleep, and worshiping.
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Lowrider 56 1 year ago
I have one dog that sleeps with my wife and I and 3 cats that visit me at various times thru the night.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
The dogs have the living room, hallway and 2 bedroom where the crate is. The cat has my master bedroom/bathroom & office. She wants nothing to do with the dogs. Her litter box is in the bathroom and the food and water is in my office. She jumps up in my chair with me when I'm working. The dogs can't get iny room or office because I have gates up.
#29
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
and what do you consider pressure? pressure can be measured differently depending on the person.
#30
#31
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Reminds me of an old manager I had. He always came in half asleep. He starts laying out the calendar for the week and he makes it to the 35th before our labtech asks if there were still on for that meeting on the 35th. That moment was GOLDEN!
Julie S 1 year ago (edited)
A bit like when the rest of the world looks at something with an American date on it, that 31st month is always a killer.
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TotallyNOTAFox 1 year ago
♪ Déjà vu! I've just been in this place before. Higher on the street, and I know it's my time to go....♫
Lee Gilliland 1 year ago
Me at 7:68? Must be a new time system, our clocks only g ok up to 59.
#32
Alvia Vseobecna 1 year ago
started some easy yoga exercises in the morning... that s**t works, was genuinely surprised (specifically uppa yoga)
Kelly Scott 1 year ago
So there's someone named Yoga who will help me out of bed in the morning and put my socks on my feet so I don't have to bend over so early?
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Curtis Harvey 1 year ago
Wait til you hit 60 pal. Getting up at the age you are now is gonna feel like paradise.
#33
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
First I wondered why the avatar is Xavier. Then I decided that this is a real thing that Xavier would do.
#34
TheElderNom 1 year ago
I did that to someone thanking me the other day, very awkward.
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nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
We plan to get married, but because Reasons, we can't elope.
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#36
#37
just a lil zucchini potato 1 year ago
my brain ended that sentence with "..., highness" - too much princess Bride?
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Athuf Kidtab 1 year ago (edited)
especially if you include songs like washing machina heart, nothing's new, and dumb dumb . It hurts realizing the reality those songs represent
#38
cerinamroth 1 year ago
Babies don't sleep so well in the womb either really. They are always up and about, wriggling, kicking, hiccuping, yawning and stretching. They certainly don't have sleep cycles that would fit in with a 9-5 job!
Basko 1 year ago
In most countries it is illegal to give 9-5 job to a prenatal baby anyway.
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James Peek 1 year ago
My twin sister kept pushing me around, so she could come out first. Took them 45mins. to turn me around.
Settled for Infamy 1 year ago
Every expectant mother I knew at the time of my pregnancy, was explaining the joys of feeling movement. My child woke up at 2350 every night, stretched to full body length and kicked till she winded me, more than once, yeah beautiful. Thunk she slept well at other times though. I wad too busy vomiting 🤣
cerinamroth 1 year ago
I didn't mind the little kicks and flutters, but when they did a full-body roll it literally made me vom. I hated that feeling! Sorry, kids!
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White Sauce Hot Sauce 1 year ago (edited)
It wasn't difficult to sneak over some alcohol. It's basically an open secret during the wars. As long as you didn't cause any problems and weren't doing it out in the open, it was easy to get away with.
Dela Bee 1 year ago
I used to send my ex extremely boozy fruit muffins in a vacuum sealed bag. His entire room knew when he opened the bag.
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OneHappyPuppy 1 year ago
An American army base in a certain middle Eastern country was the entryway for alcohol that was strictly forbidden in said country. You could get a permit for purchasing and transporting it only and only if you were of non-muslim descent. But if you get caught without that permit...
Shark Lady 1 year ago
Saw a documentary about the UK logistics Corps at Camp Bastion, they were delivering something to the Dutch section and were offered beers as a thank you. I get the feeling they only declined them because they knew they were being filmed.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
Even without the Taliban, alcohol was super forbidden on Afghanistan. But I can say from experience that there was vodka at the Russian Embassy
Weaponized Beef 1 year ago
I used to send my friend dental care packages with toothpaste, toothbrushes, floss, and big bottles of mouthwash that was not mouthwash but grain alcohol with a little bit of food dye.
ronniebeaton00 1 year ago
Pretty sure a bunch of Navy SEALs would have the knowhow to manufacture their own booze.
#40
Boredest Panda 1 year ago
Nothing hurts more than knowing somebody’s cat hates you more than they usual hate people
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Every single cat I have ever encountered hates people. As far as I can tell, they exist only to scratch people ankles and shred the furniture.
Load More Replies... Ivana Hotdog 1 year ago
Literally my big cat, King Karl, loves everyone. If he doesn't like you, probably means that you are a horrible human being (tested to be true)
#41
BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago
Here's what is fun about sex slang. I have never heard of the clitoris being called a bean. But the second I saw this I knew exactly what it was referring to. And being frank, it does look like a bean wearing a hoody, so it makes sense. Also, yes I did write a post with frank and beans in a comment about sex organs, because I am a man, and we have to make everything about us.
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Jen McCartney 1 year ago
This is a public service announcement. They absolutely did the right thing
Sentina in the swamp 1 year ago
If this is not sarcasm then: sweet summer child.
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#42
MrsFettesVette 1 year ago
Cashier: "you'll get a receipt sent to your email" Me: "thanks, you too!"
Sky Render 1 year ago
The tricky part for the cashier at that point is to try to fit in the bag as requested.
The Commentator 1 year ago
Cashier: *transformation sound effect* *is in the bag* Then: WHAT TH-
Tim Douglass 1 year ago
The great thing is that the cashier is totally checked out as well and is not listening to either what they say or what you answer.
#43
BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago
Feel free to put me down, just let me know what I'm referring you for before hand.
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keyboardtek 1 year ago
So did you provide references to verify the honesty of your references?
#44
Boredest Panda 1 year ago (edited)
No egg: For people who don’t have time to waste (or lazy bums like me) Egg: For highly experienced professionals only
aj 1 year ago
Don't forget: Egg - for people who have eggs that are about to go bad
Load More Replies... Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
I don't do eggs, I do veggies. carrots, celery, mushrooms... 😋
Cindy Brick 1 year ago
...or chicken noodle soup. (It's good with a can of green chilis dumped in there, too.)
#45
Kalikima 1 year ago
Thank you, I didn't get it until I read your comment.. lol
Load More Replies... Kelly Scott 1 year ago
Kid pointing at the mole on my face: "What is that?" Me: "It's a big wart because I'm a witch and I'm going to turn you into wet hamster!" Got rid of the kid and gained a talking to from my manager.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
Before I retired the company I worked for came up with the policy absolutely no wearing of jewelry o your hands or any part of your face. I have a fitbit. So I would put it around my ankle.
Carito alias La Cototina 1 year ago
I am a nurse and we have a no jewellery bllow the elbow, so much of my colleagues wear their smart watch on their ankles
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#46
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
sometimes it's just not worth the attitude you get. do all things with a glad heart
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#48
JoeKing 1 year ago
It's a myth that Kids will look after Parents when their old. Most kids just want to get their hands on their Parents money!!
Jaya 1 year ago
Kids are super expensive, with all the money you saved on not having kids, plus interest, you could probably buy quite a lot of help when you're old. And you don't know if your kids are gonna take care of you anyway, they might not want to, you might not be in contact with them anymore, or they might be ill or disabled or die before you.
Moonie Pinkslip 1 year ago
hahahaa :)) And no, kids do NOT automatically look after parents, they have their OWN LIVES.
Cass Malone 1 year ago
The kids barely do anything for their parents aside from putting them in a home until they run out of money
#49
Sexual Harassment Panda 1 year ago
I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!
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#50
#52
Mike F 1 year ago
Shhhh, the rest of Europe will begin treating you like a ginger step-child.
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#53
Peter Smith 1 year ago
Too bad the causal reason for the fire was flood water meeting an exposed wire. Therefore, flood damage. No payout.
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
nope. fire happened right before the flood. the flood put the fire out.
Load More Replies... UKGrandad 1 year ago
Fun fact: this is not too far-fetched, and it has precedent. Arson was the major cause of the fires that devastated San Francisco after the 1906 earthquake because insurers classed earthquakes as 'acts of God' so didn't cover earthquake damage, but fire damage was covered. So many property owners torched their own buildings that the fires quickly spread to become one devastating blaze.
Heras buddy 1 year ago
Either that or the Tesla caught fire in the garage. Several did this in Florida.
Linda R 1 year ago
As a claims liaison at an insurance agency, I can tell you the standard homeowner policy has a clause that says that if a fire results from a flood, the fire policy will pay. This is listed under the flood exclusion at the end where it says: "However, direct loss by fire, explosion or theft resulting from any of the above (the flood exclusion description) is covered."
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Sky Render 1 year ago
Ask if you can take over for their responsibilities so they can be promoted.
#56
Mike F 1 year ago
True story, a friend of many years back left the bar he was partying at on NYE and climbed into the back of a cop car sitting at a traffic light thinking he was getting into the cab he called. He was the first public intoxication arrest for that year and the judge pointed that out, lol. RIP, Ray!
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the phantom 1 year ago
if you think hes loaded im in high school and i get paid $10 a week for doing nothing
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#59
Johnny McFearless 1 year ago
You'd get less than one already little coffee in Milan for that. But it's damn good coffee.
Cindy Brick 1 year ago
Plus the change in my piggy bank! (Maybe I can get a job on a cattle boat. That's what they always do in the movies.)
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#61
Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
Yeah man I'm allergic to latex devil hands. Real devil hands though...
Kristiina Männiste 1 year ago
I think I could do latex devil hands too... Is this devil single?
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#62
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#64
Ace 1 year ago
Something quite disturbing about that photo - I mean, are they really comparing to see who's got the best bump?
cerinamroth 1 year ago
Just casually saying hello to each other's bumps in a four-pack of the same T-shirt in different colours. I never said hello to anyone else's bump in the antenatal class or elsewhere, I have to say.
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Ace 1 year ago
It's OK though, your hard-earned tax dollars are well spent on your military so that you can keep the global peace. Oh...
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Michigan here. I LOVE the people who give an "I'm better than that" attitude about Food Cards, Medicaid, etc. "So you've never drawn an unemployment check on a layoff" "Well of course I have, but,,,that's different"
tarryn norwich 1 year ago
*me working for the government* ummm... well at least I caught up on BP...
Breadcrumb. 1 year ago
Parliament takes the entire summer off like they are in f*****g elementary school. I get two weeks.
Pandora 1 year ago
That's the tax you pay for the government to screw you. Ergo, the government is a prostitute. 🤔
Lost Panda 1 year ago
I would argue that we would be the prostitute and the government the pimp
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Taryn Bailey 1 year ago
Or watching the stores put Christmas stuff up as soon as they take down the back to school
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Wife was SO embarrassed, I spent a shopping trip telling Walmart employees "take it down, take it ALL down (Christmas decorations alongside Halloween decorations). They got it, trust me. They hate it as much as I do.
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Lene 1 year ago
Which is why I start preparing for Christmas in January. Lol. It really helps a lot! And for the past 10 years I've only had Holidays'-stress one year. My best advice about starting early is to start keeping a (secret) list on your phone where you can add whatever your loved ones talk about wanting during the year. My bf often talks about films or garden tools that he wants but those things never get on the actual wish list because he forgets about them. And buy Christmas decorations on sale as soon as the stores lower the prices (between Christmas and New Year in my country). Ok... so I may not start prepping for Christmas in January... I may/may not start in December. 😬🤓
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#69
Boredest Panda 1 year ago (edited)
I feel kinda bad for spiders. Imagine just like living your life and you come back home only to see the house you spent ages of your time on destroyed, and some giant is sitting there attempting to kill you
Owen 1 year ago
And they catch flies and mosquitos and things that could actually be dangerous. I call the spider in my bathroom Wilma. She's chill.
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Little Wonder 1 year ago
Not in my house. In my house it's "ooh hello lemme leave you some water, you okay? Look at your leggies, so many! Well done!"
Chewie Baron 1 year ago
All that spare change you find in the sofa? I’ve always thought of that as spiders paying their rent.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
I've never understood why so many people hate spiders, even though I know how many people are stupid.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago
My spiders are welcome except in my bedroom. But insects die or go outside on a broom.
Kathleen Pearlman 1 year ago
Why are people so afraid of spiders? You're like a million times bigger - and that's just your foot.
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#71
Mrs.C 1 year ago
Everytime. Don't mess with a middle-aged white lady with a facebook addiction
Momica98 1 year ago
Yes! And I think some people don't realize how much personal information they put out there for all to see.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 year ago
If Beck had been more careful about over-sharing online it might never have happened. As for me I'm currently sitting on my bed typing this on my Lenovo Thinkpad and I think I might need to have the foremost molar on the right side of my lower jaw extracted because that last repair attempt clearly didn't take and-
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KillerKiwi 1 year ago
What are the ducks you’re familiar with made out of??
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Lost Panda 1 year ago
Sorry, was stationed overseas during my drinking years... does drunk at the chow hall midnight chow count?
Damned_Cat 1 year ago
Of course it does! Thank you for your over-servedice.
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SkyBlueandBlack 1 year ago
Tommy Burgers on Beverly and Rampart. The crowd there at 3am is fascinating.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I lived in Melbourne (technically outer suburbs) for 20 years and never have. My sister has though, she goes out most weekends unlike me.
Load More Replies... Heras buddy 1 year ago
We used to have a dollar poll, what time the first person would go fa e first into their food. 245 is generally a good bet.
#77
You didn’t know me 2 mins ago 1 year ago
Dump her a week before Christmas and come back Christmas Eve. It will work like a charm! Trust me, she will be so glad to see you!
#78
Spidercat 1 year ago
Yes! Bring back the good old Squashed Fly biscuits. DISCLAIMER: British people will get this reference.
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#79
Senjo Krane 1 year ago
Why do Americans cook vienna sausages on a fire???? It's STEAK dammit!! (South African here ;)
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#81
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
how? because I don't want to talk i'm rude? not everyone from high school was my friend, and thins clearly did not go the way the cashier expected, but doesn't mean I am open to conversing with you now. Just put the fries in the bag bro. and im on my way out.
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#82
Fire Singer 1 year ago
I remember by biology teacher telling me this and I was absolutely flabergasted!
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