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Have you ever stopped and wondered what God thinks of everything that’s going on in our world today? Well, if you have, you'll be glad to hear that The Almighty has a Twitter account. As of today, it has amassed more than 6.2M devoted fans while He Himself follows only one person on Earth—Justin Bieber.
The Tweet Of God is full of satirical jokes and razor-sharp humor that will hopefully brighten your day and help you let out a laugh or two. With the bio stating “Unverified; unverified”, the account is entertaining the internet with its hilariously witty tweets.
Bored Panda has collected some of the best posts God had to offer, so continue scrolling and upvote your favorite ones! Be sure to let us know what you think about them in the comment section below, and don’t forget to check out Part 1 of this post right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
J. F. 3 years ago
Never understood why homosexuality of other people is a problem anyway - doesn't affect anybody's life and it means less competition on the search for a partner.
Truth Monster 3 years ago
I had a think about this the other day and the only real theory I have that makes any sense of why homosexuality is almost a universal taboo is that in the dawn of humans a tribe that tolerated null pairing (ones that resulted in no offspring), would quickly be overtaken by a tribe that did not tolerate it by sheer numbers alone. That's my guess, anyway.
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Vlacas12 3 years ago
Homophobia isn't a fear! It should just be called Homokataphroneo, with kataphroneo meaning despise or disdain.
TrixicBird(Any pronouns) 3 years ago
It will be a fear if they met my gf lol.
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RELATED:
#2
Invisible Potato 3 years ago
You know, feminism is when both have equal rights of decision, but this is more about individuals autonomy of theirs body...
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Insert Generic Username 3 years ago
Abortion should not be regulated by old f*****s who don't have a uterus.
Kaylee Radcliff 3 years ago
The post is saying that it should be done when the women chooses it. Is saying that the women is the one who gets to decide
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Marilyn Ransberry 3 years ago
If men bore the children this would never have become an issue,.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Judaism, on which Christianity is based, values the life of the mother over the life of the fetus. Nor is abortion mentioned anywhere in the Bible.
#3
Amy Pattie 3 years ago (edited)
The Bible literally talks about wearing a veil over your lower face when diseases. I don’t know where Christians find it discrimination when asked to wear one
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
They aren't really Christian. They're fascists using cherry-picked bits of a very old book. IMO.
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Monday 3 years ago
I love it when people use the "if God wanted, then...." argument. "If God wanted us to fly we'd have been born with wings!"...well honey in that case if god wanted you to travel at 60mph wouldn't he have given you stronger legs? Or telepathy if he wanted you to communicate with people from other countries?
Susanne B 3 years ago (edited)
If god had wanted people to think, he would have given them brains - and he did, so why not use them
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Bent. O. Jensen 3 years ago
You prayed for help. I gave you masks, but you didn't wear them. I gave you the vaccine but you didn't take it. I gave you science, but you denied it. You didn't believe in me, So why should I help you now? GOD
WatermelonTheDutchie 3 years ago
like that one story about the guy who prayed to God, and was sent a boat AND a helicopter but denied both and drowned, and God was like you absolute baboon
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Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
Why would we have access to so many things to save our lives if we're supposed to cease to exist? God, or whatever superior existence that you believe in, helps those who help themselves. The game plan is also to help each other. It isn't complicated until people start whining about their "rights and entitlements".
Edwin Lesperance 3 years ago
And if we were meant to be naked, we would have been born that way.
The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles. He created the account in 2010 to promote his book, The Last Testament: A Memoir By God. Ironically, many people thought the book was actually a spin-off of the account since the latter took off so quickly.
Later on, he adapted both the book and the Twitter account into a play, An Act of God, which was performed on Broadway for two summers and then all over the world.
Javerbaum is always playing his part, saying that he’s in fact working with and for God as a social media manager. He explained why the account is only interested in one person, Justin Bieber: “From what God told me, he only follows close family members. That’s all I could get out of him.”
#4
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
The book was written by mortal beings, so it is still an interpretation. No recordings, voice mails or text messages back then. Further, the book has been translated into thousands of versions and languages over 2,000 years. Those sometimes subtle differences can result in huge differences from the original intent.
Shyla Clay 3 years ago
One translation in the middle ages accidentally left out the word "not". The commandment read "Thou shalt kill." There are supposed to be a few still in existence.
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J Garza 3 years ago
It's a branding issue. Should have called it the 'erases all those sins that you know you shouldn't be doing but hide from the world and hypocritically tell others not to do' juice. 100% vaccination guaranteed.
Kurt Mckenney 3 years ago
Yes, we are just questioning anti-science morons trying to tell us to shut up and do as we are told.
Heather Atwood 3 years ago
Not a religious argument, even the pope gave his approval for the vaccine.
#5
Monday 3 years ago
Maybe give it a good whack on the side? Always worked for my old tv!
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RandomX123 3 years ago
Now I want to see God playing the Universe like a Harmonica
Load More Replies... Okatango 3 years ago (edited)
My brother and I have a theory that black holes are really just God vacuuming up an experiment gone wrong.
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
Has he not already done that before? With a lot of rain, and a guy in a boat?
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
How do you find food in a desert? You eat the sandwiches there. But how did the sandwiches get there? They're biblical; Noah sent Ham, whose descendants mustard and bread.
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RoseTheMad 3 years ago
Huh, well this explains what happens when my mind goes blank and I totally forget what I was doing
Qibli of the SandWings 3 years ago
Maybe all of the stubborn and ignorant people will blink out of existence and leave all of the good nice men/women/children to start a clean slate :)
WatermelonTheDutchie 3 years ago
it worked once why not again am i right lol
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#6
Julie C Rose 3 years ago (edited)
God made Jacinda and Jacinda banned my anti vax ex hairdresser from operating. :)
Monday 3 years ago
Pretty sure he also didn't have a smartphone or a social media account.
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UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Yeah, and he could magically cure diseases, walk on water, and feed thousands of people with a loaf of bread, and cure blindness. So yeah, don’t get vaccinated, jump on the deep end without learning to swim, don’t bother growing or catching enough food to feed anybody, and stare straight into the sun. And bonus, if you want to throw a bitchin’ party and get shitfaced with your friends, a pitcher of water will do the trick. Smug little idiot.
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
Poor brainwashed child. Learn to question your (obviously) questionable authority figures.
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago (edited)
Yes, and he was stuck to a massive plus sign and kicked into a cave because of it.
Salma Hernández 3 years ago
And jesus didn't had phones, internet, social media, he didn't take a photo...
If you’re trying to reach the comedy writer and have a little chat with The Almighty, don’t expect too much. He Himself posts a lot and sometimes even re-tweets with a snappy comment but does not participate much in conversations. “God replies to tweets exactly as often as he replies to prayers from other people,” Javerbaum said.
Even though The Tweet of God has many followers and is viewed as “the universe’s most popular unverified Twitter account”, it also went through some bad times. The account got hacked several years ago, which made Javerbaum quit for a year and a half.
Also, Twitter suspended the account twice. One time, he used their blue badge in the background picture without their permission. “And that was just a purely legalistic suspension,” the founder of the account told The Last Laugh. “I was trying to imply that I was verified.”
#7
Dave Nalesnik 3 years ago
To be fair, most people will also not hold hands with you when you’re masturbating.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
Everyone involved with this sign needs a hug. They are not ok.
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Samuel Pelatan 3 years ago
Lol i heard poly folks saying "god gave us too many hands for monoamory" xD
#8
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Why are all the televangelists multimillionaires, yet try to get the last cent from poor people?
#9
Ching Ngaihte 3 years ago
Well, they do say you see the future and past. Start the world again and boom!!! Create us smarter.
The second time was in June 2019. “If gay people are a mistake, they’re a mistake I’ve made hundreds of millions of times, which proves I’m incompetent and shouldn’t be relied upon for anything,” the tweet stated. Twitter mistakenly thought of it as anti-gay. “So they got that one wrong and they realized it and I got back on,” the writer explained. “I let them know that their sense of irony had some deficiencies that ought to be corrected.”
Last year, the founder went one step further and created a podcast called Godcast. “Well, I think of it as adapting a character. God is a character that I know very well. And he’s not any bigger of a character than any other character would be. He just happens to be God. But he’s, in many ways, just the cranky old man on the lawn of the universe. And I always thought that a podcast was the ideal form, more so even than Twitter, because it’s the voice of God.”
#10
BusLady 3 years ago
Bless all the hard working health workers fighting to help these folks get well.
Beta 3 years ago
You do. I mean not really but there are people who don’t want to be on it for too long because it can be bad for your lungs (in some cases)
K Witmer 3 years ago
What the actual f**k did I just read? Do you actually think a ventilator teaches your lungs not to breathe on their own? A fundamental of human existence is breathing wo being taught. This is the most crackpot theory I've ever read. So babies that are born don't know how to breathe bc they learned not to in utero? Omg I can't believe you are able to stay alive daily w all the conspiracy theories you believe
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Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
I wonder if I'd find a good home where they'd keep me. I can be kinda moody and difficult. Don't get along with all hoomans although other dogs, cats and various critters are OK. Not a picky eater. I'm also loyal and protect my family fearlessly. Will not tolerate being crated after my youth. Hope I'd find a dog that would treat me like I always treated them. Paws (guess I would not have fingers) crossed!
Tom Bolton 3 years ago
People's fetishism for dogs never ceases to amaze, frustrate and confound.
Memere 3 years ago
Oh, Tom. It's okay if you don't like dogs, really. Just don't look down on those of us who love them, please? I'm sure there's something you love that others don't, so maybe just...let it go.
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The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 3 years ago
Oh I see,dogs get elevated but women remain bitches😤
#12
So it seems that David Javerbaum is fully engaged with this all-powerful character. Right now, he’s busy with publishing his response to King David’s The Book of Psalms titled The Book of Pslams: 97 Divine Diatribes on Humanity’s Total Failure.
At the same time, the account is still going strong and continuing to entertain its followers with piercingly sharp humor. “The only time there would be no material for satire will be in a perfect world. And I don’t see that coming any time soon. I do think that if it were a perfect world, my [in]ability to make fun of it would be a small price to pay,” David Javerbaum said.
#13
Tassenküchlein168 3 years ago
I don’t get the relation between Christianity and idiotism in US. I am a Christian (in Germany), and I am absolute aware of all the problems of global warming, doing what I can to stop it and I know that 99% of us are.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
You answered your own question. You are not an American Christian. You are a German Christian
Load More Replies... BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago
Why do people ignore all the signs of global warming? It's such a huge deal that's going to hurt everyone in the future, but right now no one all that important will listen and realize what's going on.
Tobias Rieper 3 years ago
your talking about the same people that think vaccines make you gay or autistic or that 5g gives you cancer
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Mario Formicadae 3 years ago
At this point i'm beginning to bellieve that this account is dedicated to shitting on christians.
Susanne B 3 years ago
Some people seem to believe, that if you are af christian, you don't have to think.
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Jaithesaint 3 years ago
The sea is rising, and his son did walk on it, why can’t I believe both?
#14
Ching Ngaihte 3 years ago
They think they are smart, even when they don’t know they are stupid. They will never admit they are foolish. Never.
#15
Pearl 3 years ago
No, he didn't send the vaccine. Hardworking healthcare officials did. I don't know where God fits in that
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jmdirks 3 years ago
People who have been vaccinated and with booster shots are still getting covid.
#16
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago
And I bet you they won't even try to help the rest of us. I guess all we can hope for now is that their stupid d**k rocketships blow up.
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Samuel Pelatan 3 years ago
Poor: in space factories, Rich: on earth, which became mainly a golf course
Joe Das 3 years ago
If I could sabotage all attempts of humans to populate other planets, I would. We don't have the right to go and infect other planets. There should be a wall around the earth.
Who Panda 420 3 years ago
Some people say life is amazing. I think life is a virus. Life cannot exist without destroying other life it's sad
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#17
Nonexistant Shoelace (he/they) 3 years ago
The sad part about all of this is that he's not verified. Dood, this is clearly god!
#18
Pearl 3 years ago (edited)
Before he directs you to hell, that is. Antivaxxers should go to hell
Monday 3 years ago
Eh maybe he goes to visit big bro satan down in hell once in a while, they might see him then.
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Julie C Rose 3 years ago
Every time I see a picture of a sign saying “Jesus is my vaccine”, I think “And Cindy* is the deeeeeemon I cliiiiiiiing to…” *Jacinda Ardern, whose covid response has been far from perfect but has undeniably made it very inconvenient to be an anti vaxxer, with the result that we’re now 94% double vaxed and making decent progress with boosters.
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
What progress the numbers are as high as ever but wait your all crazy on this website so you cant see the truth
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Senkise 3 years ago
If the blood of Christ is her vaccine, then should she inject wine into her veins?
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
Probably soaks it up "intestinally", if ya know what I mean 😉
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Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
This is why I always have to say "but I'm not *that* kind of Christian."
Dragonlady 3 years ago
My mum wont let me get because she thinks fertility problems may arise. I want to adopt though... Why make more children when some need a loving family.
Marilyn Ransberry 3 years ago
Millions of people exists because they, their parents and grandparents were vaccinated against smallpox, diphtheria, polio, measles, mumps, rubella, whooping cough , tetanus ....
#19
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Wow dont think he would say that i think he is pretty disappointed in all of us.
The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 3 years ago
R u also grateful that people still celebrate the genocide was carried out against the Natives?in ur name?
Mario Formicadae 3 years ago
I think God needs to realise that americans aren't the only christians, we italians and africans are too!
onivdsrapowijap 3 years ago
This is a reply to temmie's comment because I can't reply directly- there isn't really anything wrong with being Christian, but a lot of Christians (a lot but NOT ALL) are idiots. They don't believe in modern medicine, yet believe in an old book in which people can walk on water
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#20
Who Panda 420 3 years ago
Still wonder why this is a thing when there is supposed to be a separation between church and state. But that separation is getting thinner and thinner. I'm afraid they really will overturn roe versus Wade
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Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
You don't have to swear on a bible, you can swear on anything. Article VI, clause 3 of the U.S. Constitution states that members “shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.”
Cydney Golden 3 years ago
Certainly violates the separation of church/state as detailed in the constitution.
#21
Cactus 1549 3 years ago (edited)
Watch out, cause we can’t afford another engine.
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#22
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Lol I read "glasshole" instead of "glasshouse"
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Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
God is just Dog spelled backwards. Stupid bible interpreters got it wrong. Want God in your life, get a dog.
#23
Joe Das 3 years ago
Dude, you're already God in India. You keep forgetting that when you come here, you suffer from multiple personalities.
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
To Hindus, Jesus' proclamation "The Father and I are one" confirmed the Hindu idea that everyone, through rigorous spiritual practice, can realize his own universal "god-consciousness."
Paul Jervis 3 years ago
Pssssst....he didn't say that....unless someone magically heard a conversation and then waited 60 years to write it down.
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Xan Maranya 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe you just didn't recognize yourself because your name was changed to Brahma, and your son's name to Krishna.
Charu Verma 3 years ago (edited)
They are not overstaffed here... it's called departmentalisation and decentralisation to get the crucial tasks properly executed and the trinity is the Management to keep a check and pay rewards. Dictatorship doesn't work in India.
#24
Monday 3 years ago
Covid is the romantic partner from those crappy Hallmark movies. They'll change for you. They'll follow you around and keep trying even after you say no. They'll use your friends to get to you. They WILL get you one way or another.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
So Hallmark movies are about creepy stalkers?
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Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
Sounds like a toxic relationship. You should never feel like you are forced to change... NEVER CHANGE CORONA YOU GOT THIS!
Beta 3 years ago
Guys people are developing a new omicron vaccine right now, but why do we need it if the current one works fine?
Shortstuff 3 years ago
Ask the Scientists who know more than you. Ever heard of mutations?
Load More Replies... The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 3 years ago
So the vaccine is a no?I'm sure glad that unvaccinated people r not getting Covid.consent.
#25
Rebecca Hill 3 years ago
Yes the gov needs lots of people to work for minimum wage and pay taxes bc the gov won't make rich people pay taxes
Salty Wild Hair 3 years ago
The government, secret or not, has never tried to keep anyone alive. And the One True God knows that.
Memere 3 years ago
You are just really especially stupid. 96% of Covid patients in hospitals are UNVACCINATED. That's been reported by doctors & the actual hospitals for the last 6 months. My sister is an ICU nurse & works with Covid patients exclusively & she says all the covid patients they've had in the last 6 months are not vaccinated. And 99% of them die. Alone, except for 1 nurse IF a nurse is available to sit with them.
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Elias Meyers 3 years ago
or flooding the entire planet, killing almost everyone
Load More Replies... Senkise 3 years ago
God cursed the human race just because those two eat one apple, God tried to kill out us with flood, and you think He loves us?
ZAPanda 3 years ago
I kinda think that if he exists we're basically his antfarm.
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Hailey B 3 years ago
See, I’ve read the whole thing. I think about EVERY WORD. I don’t pick and choose. The thing is, the books are written by different people at different times so nothing makes perfect sense. But like, God tells Moses that murder is wrong. But he murdered almost the entire human race because it was filthy. My brain hurts now-
Susanne B 3 years ago
Also when Moses met god in the desert he was a fugitive after killing a man
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#27
BlackestDawn 3 years ago
And in many cases it's not the opinion itself that others have a problem with, but rather the "fact" you use to base said opinion on. By that I mean that if you used actual facts you most likely wouldn't have that opinion.
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
You formulate your opinion by researching or speaking to or about others opinion to make your opinion. That's how it works. You can't really make an educated opinion without research or discussion.
Two thousand seven 3 years ago
I hope those annoying prolifers that were commenting earlier read this one lol
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Opinions are like assholes. We all have one but that doesn't mean it doesn't smell
freefall 3 years ago
Using that logic as the baseline, no one should believe dynamite is explosive unless they have experienced it themselves. We build our progressive lives and society on the experience of our predecessors. I don't touch a hot stove because my said not to do it because her Mom said not to, etc....
#29
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
Seems like that would be obvious after that garden of Eden fiasco.
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
To be fair, that one was on God. Eve couldn't possibly have known it was wrong to eat the fruit until AFTER she ate it. Before she ate it, she had no knowledge of good and evil. She was innocent.
Load More Replies... The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 3 years ago
The first step is dismantling the Patriarchy.YOU started that 1🙄
Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Thats why he sent us covid population control. I figured you all would be down with it
#30
Chris Lehr 3 years ago
Took a while but you showed up in the UK recently. Cheers for that. Now we look like we’re run by American.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
But none of our countries will ever vote for an idiot who wants to fight tornados by nuking them.
Mario Formicadae 3 years ago
Hey, in my country election season turns into the next syrian civil war. ( I swear if God doesn't intervene we're gonna have another rwandan genocide situation)
Phillip Spicer 3 years ago (edited)
Just from Australia whats with the fire flood pestilence drought Plauge Disease,because that's 6 of the 10 I'm just a litle nervious
Petri Peltonen 3 years ago
Ummm... that "storm" that you sent this way the previous weekend was kinda lame. You should pay more attention to us Finns, too. We want proper storms and flooding!
#31
Bryon Wright 3 years ago
I thought it was Hubert, Harry or something else.. I learned a thing today!
#32
#33
Terilee Bruyere 3 years ago
Now let's not be rude, some people who can't feel their hands are pretty good drivers. At least that's what I tell myself.
Martin Kaine 3 years ago (edited)
Its okay. He can't feel his feet either, and they're below his belt.
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#34
kim morris 3 years ago
Left a Christmas present in sister's mailbox one year. She left it there 5 days SURE it was an anthrax trap, SURE someone was out to get her. I told her she wasn't important enough. bring in the damned gift. She became a MAGAt, we don't talk anymore.
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
Would love to see you make all these white christian supremacists black and gay.
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Ha right! Everyone plays the martyr card! No one cares what you look like, who you sleep with, what you believe, skin color sex, no one cares. Your actions and words are all that matters!
#35
David Brown 3 years ago
You also got Mr.Rogers & Bob Ross. With Betty White you've got the dream team sorted.
#37
Grant Barke 3 years ago
Well, your book did predict it was all going to go to s**t for humanity. Time for the second coming of Jesus and Judgement day don't you think.
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
When someone says "democracy does not work", they actually mean "I am pissed off because people don't do what my little self wants them to do."
madbakes 3 years ago
The American democratic Republic doesn't work bc those elected to carry out the will of the people are too busy taking money from special interests.
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Random Anon 3 years ago
For a certain great nation, staying healthy proper is already beyond most people, let alone a healthy sense of self.
#38
Kathy Cathcart 3 years ago
If more people were republicans, we wouldn't be in 3/4 of the messes we are in. But this is not the place or original topic for a political battle.
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Leah Helbig 3 years ago
Yes and the media and the government i mean american politicians want the country to heal but they mean heel and obey and do whatever we say.
#39
Dillon Brown 3 years ago
The dance, it's his victory dance when we are all dead
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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
No, save all the queens! And the kings! And the dukes and all the rest!
#40
Mike Rodrick 3 years ago
If the earth were flat, cats would have pushed everything over the edge by now.
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Grant Barke 3 years ago
How did you see that not coming. Free will is a b***h as I said before. I'm starting to think this is not really God, teehee.
The Sorrows of Mother LoveJoy 3 years ago
When u enforce belief in u with stoning burning and War,u set a bad precedent😉
Mario Formicadae 3 years ago
I honestly wouldn't believe that I could have belived him a year ago, but here I am.
Tammy Wait 3 years ago
Even if Jesus came back they would pass him by like they do the homeless.
#41
Anyone-for-tea? 3 years ago
Same sex families have children too? I think what you mean is you need more women like me who prefer being an auntie and godmother!
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Bobby 3 years ago
I wish I could remember the name of the book where I read this. But the short version is that the various hebrew names for god were all combinations of the feminine and masculine. They broke down a bunch of them, but the only one that sticks in my head years later is "Yah" is a feminine prefix, and "weh" was a masculine suffix, so the name Yahweh is actually a combination of masculine and feminine. So if god transcends gender, and loves their creations, why would God give a damn about what gender you feel most attracted to?
#42
#43
Grant Barke 3 years ago
Are you telling me Hitler and the Nazis are not being tortured for eternity. Now I'm mad as hell.
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 3 years ago
Hitler went to heaven on the account of him killing Hitler.
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
If homophobes had the Grindr app on their phones, churches would stay empty.
NightmaresNope 3 years ago
There are 9 circles of hell, each one for different and worse crimes.
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
There's a special section of hell filled with people who inflict their religion on others.
#44
#45
Rijkærd 3 years ago
For his own self love you mean? He said its about perfectionism.
Load More Replies... Grant Barke 3 years ago
Couldn't you just bring back huge dinosaurs again. I want to see those f*****s rampage cities in large numbers.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Seems that although Omicron is more infectious, it is less dangerous for the infected. So God is going the wrong way.
#46
RandomX123 3 years ago
I wish devolution was a thing. I want to "drop on the deck and flop like a fish". Too bad the Anti-vaxxers wouldn't get to evolve to obtain average human IQ if that were to happen
Grant Barke 3 years ago
I would catch you, gut you and eat you with a slice of lemon.
Load More Replies... Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Ummm.... How do sent evolution make sense? I do believe we were created one way or another, but we still evolve...
#47
#48
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Isn't that the point? We have everything we need, we just need to make the right choices
#49
#50
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
It is more of a "lol, all christians are stupid" pathetic attempt.
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
The best way to keep the people satisfied is to give them food and games and no education.
#51
#52
Nonexistant Shoelace (he/they) 3 years ago
Covering a comment. And tbh as an atheist I feel this
#53
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
It's also very interesting to know that the ones claiming to be the "Silent Majority" are in fact the Loudmouthed Minority.
SlartyBlartFast 3 years ago
I'd like to quote Oscar Wilde - Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
#54
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Says someone that has never been to Alabama. Congrats on blindly judging!
#55
#56
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Better than letting them die (?). If you're unvaccinated at this point and get sick to the point if being hospitalized YOU are the problem that all of us that are postponing medical procedures and all of the healthcare workers are complaining about. They need to understand that there's consequences for their actions, but they never will if they aren't constantly reminded, apparently.
Load More Replies... #57
XenoMurph 3 years ago
Most peopoe who do their own research choose to take the vaccine. Most people who claim a youtube video is research are morons.
Grant Barke 3 years ago
Yes, those nine Australians and one New Zealander who died of safe, effective vaccines are not morons. Safe and Effective but some will have to make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't remember seeing that on government posters.
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Doing your own research isn't wrong. Doing your own research and next discarding all scientific evidence because some idiot on the internet tells you to, is wrong.
Bobby 3 years ago
New game for you, I promise it's fun. Find that uncle/friend/cousin who is anti vax/mask and listen to their conspiracy theories. Contest what they are saying with an even more absurd, but believable to them, theory. Wait to see how long before they tell you this made up fact as something they saw on fox news.... I mean whatever "reliable" news source they watch (it's always fox news)
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
S anyone who researches anything is a moron? Here I thought one researches things to learn... Fauci learned a lot or his stuff from Dr. Malone's research. So is fuci a moron?
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Lukyan Terdal 3 years ago
Because without snowflakes, how can I make snowmans and go sledding and stuff?
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Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Well the laws our govt have are very similar to gods. Well the main ones.
Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
Ah yes, that famous bible quote, "The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment."
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Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Ohhh this makes sense, everything said is outdated information! My bad my bad, I'm sure people have widened up by now!
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
But beliefs never grow up because than they would have to face reality.
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RandomX123 3 years ago (edited)
If you ever feel that this is wrong, read this sentence out loud: "Eye yam stew peed"
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Blame social media who have acted as a platform for all the Holocaust deniers, flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, incels, racists, fascists and sexists. Because profit is more important than anything else.
I I 3 years ago
frightening that some think its a hoax , sadly it's the education system at fault , and parents cant forget the parents
Monday 3 years ago
And also the individuals themselves, but only after they become adults and after they've been exposed to the wealth of information out there in the world.
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Alex Foster 3 years ago
He did also provide Cats and Dogs though so. Like. Partial Credit.
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Grant Barke 3 years ago
And who the hell planted that tree of good and evil.
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Grant Barke 3 years ago
Why did that black monolith with the creepy sound have to appear out of nowhere.
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Never underestimate how dumb people can be. Just look at who was voted president of the USA in 2016.
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Bacony Cakes 3 years ago
Ok, you know how you can drink water and not drown? Covid is like the weird semi-living equivalent of a tsunami.
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Grant Barke 3 years ago
No, you're welcome, shsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. 644444-620...7acdb7.jpg 
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
And you could have prevented it by giving him 3 strokes. Strike 3, you're out.
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Scagsy 3 years ago
Worse than angry when my mum would say that. Real fire and brimstone, wrath of God type angry. That half-whispered, half-growled and chillingly elucidated telling off was scary mum. It haunts my nightmares still. "Now get out of my sight!" Oof. *Scampers away to a safe distance*
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Julie C Rose 3 years ago
Based on how I was doing when I got my first vax, you don’t have to be absolutely sure.
Dillon Hughes 3 years ago
Fully vaccinated people make up 71% of new cases and 60% of COVID hospitalizations in US https://newstarget.com/2022-02-02-majority-new-covid-cases-hospitalizations-fully-vaccinated.html
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Neither do we. And if, by chance, we happen to have one, you are there to mess it up.
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I I 3 years ago
pointless , even if we had the second coming we'd either do the same as last time , or he'd be in the nut house or living on skid row with all the other "Jesus's" and "Gods" as SOCIALISM!!!!!!!
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
See, nothing has changed since He visited us that time 😉
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WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Unless you decided to boycot the madness and just buy what you want when you can.
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
"God, save our baby!" they're crying right now. Yeah, well, dipsh*ts, you didn't follow isolation protocols, and now your toddler is in ICU... I had a bad weekend shift, just ignore me. I'm crankier than Twitter-God!
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
If this WERE God ie someone with a modicum of common sense who says it like it is, promotes equality, cares about the planet and knows the bible is a work of fiction... then I'd probably start going to church.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I have no idea who is behind this account, but I'm glad they are having fun with it.
JB 3 years ago
Hi Jo, “ The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles.” Have a good day!
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BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago
What I love about this twitter account is that God is so savage. It's hilarious.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
"God, save our baby!" they're crying right now. Yeah, well, dipsh*ts, you didn't follow isolation protocols, and now your toddler is in ICU... I had a bad weekend shift, just ignore me. I'm crankier than Twitter-God!
Mark Fuller 3 years ago
If this WERE God ie someone with a modicum of common sense who says it like it is, promotes equality, cares about the planet and knows the bible is a work of fiction... then I'd probably start going to church.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I have no idea who is behind this account, but I'm glad they are having fun with it.
JB 3 years ago
Hi Jo, “ The voice behind The Tweet of God is David Javerbaum, a multi Emmy-winning American comedy writer from Los Angeles.” Have a good day!
Load More Replies... BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 3 years ago
What I love about this twitter account is that God is so savage. It's hilarious.
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