30 Of The Most Savage Things God Has Said On Twitter

Sorry, but you also allowed that murderers became president of Russia and China. Just saying....

When you passed out 'brains', too many people thought you said 'trains' and took the next one.

I have honestly never understood why people care so much. Im literally that stressed out trying to get through life in one peice I cant even imagine even thinking about whether somebody is gay or not ...let alone giving a s**t! Humans really baffle me.

Preach

I want ot make this a t-shirt...

Choose your favourite.

Agree. Oh I'd like to come back as a shark and I promise to keep Reef system healthy

That's what I keep saying. The reason people are abducted is so they can gauge our current level of stupidity. So far it must be pretty bad because we still haven't heard anything!

Fair enough!

Burn!

GirlFriday

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But if I don't keep sinning then Jesus died for nothing.

Actually, ther'es also 6. Frying. 54*C in Death Valley...

And they'll spray Round Up and insecticides to make the salad better.

True, sad but true.

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Canadians are sticky and it is well-documented that they have released weaponized geese to take down the central US.

Yass

Nah. We won't live to see it so we'll leave to the younger generations to solve that problem but we are also going to sabotage every effort they are making now to turn the tide. Like allowing oil companies to drill in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge.

... but you haven't been taken off Facebook yet!

Damnit, we're working on it!

Simple choice, you would think...

That's ok. According to your followers you are one unforgiving, heartless, unloving jerk anyway, so we didn't expect you to actually intervene in some way. Like striking a few fools with lightning.

NRA logic: Guns don't kill people. But people with guns kill people. So to protect yourself from people with guns, buy a gun. ( BTW Hey, congressmen, you still haven't pushed the stand your ground laws in all states. That's not what we paid you for...)

Or as I heard/read it somewhere else years ago: "Artificial intelligence stand no chance against natural stupidity".

China is supposedly cracking down on the wildlife markets. Hopefully some real change will finally come.

R.I.P stephen hawking

Could have been worse: Could have tweeted: "It is what it is.."

Marriage is a bond between two loving persons. There god, I fixed it for you.

The Earth rotation acceleration would be a little too much, probably.

They're no more in its a**s than the clitoris is in a woman's a**s. You would think that God could at least remember where he put them.

Or any other night.

Underrated tweet.

Those in power. But power attracts people who font admit faults

We just created God to our own image.

Then why don't you just tell us that when you speak to us?

I remember an old joke where the pope informed the world that Jesus came back to earth and talked to him. It was a long distance call from Mekka.

if not for the word marine...

Disturbing!

With better food, medicine and safety warning, we're keeping stupid people alive. It used to be that stupid people would die or be killed. Now they breed. Mankind has doomed itself.

Bahahahaha!

And next decide to abandon the idea completely.

I would say cats too but I don't even know if they ever die

As am I.

For some-one who does not exist...you sure are opinionated..

The suspense is killing me !!

Which proves that, even though you don't exist, you're smarter than we thought...

I will see most of you in hell.

"You're not my children, you're a bad game of sims" - Bo Burnham, "From God's Perspective"

The marvel universe is cooler than anything

Ask Trump: He's told everyone round this time last year that he's the chosen one....

The motto of life

Happy Birthday, all the same.

Excellent advice.

Nope. Creation was perfect. Adam and Eve...not so much.

me too

Thank you!

And none of his followers did as he asked. As usual.

Pandas aren’t doing so well either tbh

You and my mother. I remember her 39th 39th birthday!

Well all the days of the week bleed together now.

Sorry 😐

to the moron named MJ no he said what he meant and meant what he said

You'll likely be seeing MJ, based on his/her response to the 10 COVID-ments.

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He gets the ladies tho.