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50 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Had People Cracking Up
When Twitter shifted from its original 140 character limit to 280 characters in 2017, there was a collective fear that the art of the short joke would vanish. While a bit of that original magic is gone (not only due to character limitations but the character of its current owner), folks are still out there crafting jokes.
So we’ve gathered some of the best Tweets from women that made the internet laugh recently. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own ideas in the comments section down below.
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#4
Ellinor she/they/elle 7 months ago
If you don't want "a woman who..." then leave her alone and go find "a woman who doesn't...". When in the dating world, find people you like, don't try to change people to be someone they're not.
#5
Bartlet for world domination 6 months ago
Same for the people on Vinted / second hand clothing sites who have their measurements on their profile and their white balance sorted.
#8
#9
Phantom Phoenix 6 months ago
Alternatively, put some Get Well Soon cards on display and answer the door in your dressing gown. Visitor's judgement and length of stay will both be drastically reduced.
#11
#15
Beak Hookage 6 months ago
Sleeping is one of the few things you can still do for free without any advertising.
#20
Panda Kicki 6 months ago
Are you sure it was accidental...mum gets to see a lot of new people and earn a few bucks!
#28
Zig Zag Wanderer 7 months ago
Worse. I have been setting passwords for my actual password manager for years now, and they never work. It always says 'invalid password or user name'. I have one device I cannuse with a fingerprint, no others because they need a login. I only just realised that the system is LETTING ME SET PASSWORDS THAT ARE INVALID AND THAT IS WHY THEY NEVER WORK! Unfortunately, i need to enter this password in order to change it. So my password manager is actively keeping me from my passwords....
#29
Jeff White 7 months ago
I don't know how to respond to this post, but I really like it. Made me snort / laugh.
#30
#31
#35
️Rando Panda 6 months ago
I'm not looking for prose and layout when it comes to cake--just a fork and please don't laugh too hard while I go into a feeding frenzy.
#36
#38
Jeff White 7 months ago
Sorry, I am a guy and I do that also. I think it's ok because I am ashamed about it.
#44
Luke || Kira (he/she) 6 months ago
😆 That's exactly me, every time I see a former classmate with a baby I'm like "W*f WHAT?" and then I remember we're pushing 30.
#45
GrowingThruConcrete 6 months ago
heard a parallel- the green lit up "active now" indicator on messenger is the light on Daisy's dock across the water
#47
Debby Keir 6 months ago
I shed hair - I shed shedloads of hair everywhere. I'm waiting to be arrested for a crime I did not commit becuase my hair is at every crime scene in the whole world.
#48
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I don't ask, I just open it and then think about who I can regift it to. The alternative isn't much better- as a teacher I get a lot of food I can't eat because I'm coeliac.
#49
marianne eliza 7 months ago
I know what it looked like in 1977. But now I doubt any of them know cursive.
#50
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I guess that warning I read the other day about making sure you wear sunscreen under your mesh/lace clothing doesn't just apply to pride events :)
#51
#52
StrangeOne 6 months ago
There's about a week out of the year where the weather is beautiful, breezy, the right temperature, the snow has melted, it's pretty dry enough and no bugs. Just a week. Then after all Hell breaks loose.
#55
Auntriarch 6 months ago
One of the less lovable Pandas once accused me of upvoting myself. He underestimated the severity of my fat fingers syndrome
#58
nottheactualphoto 6 months ago
I had Fischer skis, way back when. And what is Timee? Timmy? [Irrelevant, yes. That's the point.]
#61
Trophy Husband 6 months ago
I used to cut my own hair, but my wife made me start going to a stylist which always hated. During the pandemic it turns out that she can cut hair! So now the ultimatum is she does it or I go to the stylist. She says it's one of the worst things to come out of the pandemic.
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