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The Funniest Dad Jokes Ever – Try Not to Laugh Challenge
Looking for the best dad jokes that are so bad, they’re hilarious? You’re in the right place. Whether you love funny dad jokes that make everyone groan or you’re secretly a fan of clever one-liners, this list delivers the ultimate laugh (or eye-roll) every time.
From classic puns to the latest dad jokes 2024 and 2025, we’ve gathered cheesy, wholesome, and totally awkward humor that only dads (or wannabe dads) can pull off. And yes, we’ve even added a few dad jokes for adults with a slightly more grown-up twist.
So if you’re ready for painfully predictable but weirdly satisfying punchlines, scroll down to discover the funniest dad jokes ever written, vote for your favorites, and share the cringiest ones in the comments!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Parenting Level: Invisible
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
RELATED:
#2
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
#3
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself. MOM: Oh my! Who!? DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something? MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!??????? DAD: No, it was with a knife...
#4
Wickedly Literal Wisdom
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
#5
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
#6
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
#7
Pun Intended
If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
#8
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
#10
Classic Pun Play
What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
💡 See Also
- Adult Jokes That Are Just Naughty Enough
- The Best Knock-Knock Jokes Of All Time
- Corny Jokes So Bad, They’re Brilliant
- Short People Jokes That’ll Make You Look Up And Laugh
- Long Jokes That Tell A Story (And Deliver Big Laughs)
- Funny Text Jokes For Adults To Share Or Copy-Paste
- Little Johnny Jokes That Are Surprisingly Clever
#11
So Bad They’re Good: The Cheesiest Ones
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know
#12
What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language
#13
Lost in Translation Moments
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...
#14
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
#15
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
#16
Dead Serious Dad Joke
When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.
#17
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.
#18
Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.
#19
Round Table Pun Fun
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
Dad Jokes for Halloween! 🎃
Get ready to make your family groan and giggle with the best Halloween dad jokes. They’re so bad, it’s scary!
#20
MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."
A Deeper Purpose Behind Dad Jokes
It’s easy to write off the best dad jokes ever as being corny. However, some experts believe such jokes have a deeper purpose. According to The Conversation, dads feel more like fatherly figures when telling such jokes. While the dads get their dose of humor, children learn to deal with embarrassment. These factors help develop a healthy father-child relationship.
Even the most corny dad jokes can have long-lasting effects on adult children. According to the ABC7 report, jokes like these can help a child become a better human being and a more confident adult. As they “build up” immunity to embarrassment, children are more willing to open up and be themselves.
So, instead of getting red from embarrassment, appreciate your dose of the dad joke of the day. Not only are you bringing joy to your parent, but you also develop a confident personality. When you reach adulthood, you’ll have your own collection of dad jokes to tell your friends.
#21
Quick One-Liners To Catch You Off Guard
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
Dad jokes age like fine cheese: the older they get, the more delightfully cringe they become. Enjoyed these Funny Dad Jokes and Puns? There’s plenty more where that came from in our dad jokes hub.
#23
Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!
#25
Tech Crime Wordplay
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
#26
Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
Adam Cantor 7 years ago
That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.
#27
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!
#28
I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
#29
KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”
#30
Clear Reasons to Decline
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
#31
Puns That Deserve A Standing Dad-Ovation
SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”
#32
What has two butts and kills people? An assassin
#33
Age With Attitude
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY
Madison Knight 6 years ago
I DON'T GET IT CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN OHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EeveeTrainer 209 5 years ago
So did I, i didn't get it at first in my head, but when I said it aloud, I got it
Morgan Overcash 5 years ago
I cant hear you- AYE CAPTIN OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHO LIVES UNDER A PINEAPPLE IS THE SEA sponge bob .>.
#34
CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
#35
What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
#36
Emergency Dessert Delivery?
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
#37
If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.
Christopher Dixon 6 years ago
Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.
#39
Math Humor Gets Real
5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
What is the Oldest Dad Joke?
Like with everything, there is a specific starting point for jokes. While we might not know the first dad joke to be told, we might get a hint at the genre it was in. Fart jokes want to or not date back to the Sumerians. According to Reuters, a fart joke dates back to 1900 B.C. While you might have it in your list of jokes to tell your dad, keep it around to get the upper hand in a corny humor standoff.
#41
Jokes For Grown-Up Kids
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
#42
GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.
#43
Pun Intended Pain
What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.
#44
When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!
#46
I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
#47
Classic Dad Logic
When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”
Alex Bailey 7 years ago
Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.
#48
KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”
#49
A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
#52
SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.
#54
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
#56
Dad Jokes That Hit Different
What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
#58
To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.
#59
Nutty Wordplay Alert
Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.
#60
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.
#61
Unexpected Zingers You Didn’t See Coming
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
#63
When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"
bailey gough 6 years ago
What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome
#64
Forever Young Humor
Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.
Spirit Animations 6 years ago
*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!
#65
GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”
#66
What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
#67
Musical Pets, Anyone?
You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.
#68
Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.
#69
What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
#70
Unstoppable Gentlemen
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
#72
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
#73
Campfire Comedy
Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!
Deacon DeSchepper 6 years ago
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
#74
You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.
#76
WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”
Scott1983 Cawthon 6 years ago
I actually misunderstood someone saying SUPERSALAD but they were just saying soup or salad
#77
Chilly Humor Ahead
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.
#78
What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.
#79
As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.
#80
Paper Thin Humor
Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.
Dian Ella Lillie 7 years ago
"Did you hear the one about the bed?" "No." "That's because it hasn't been made up yet!"
#81
The Ultimate Eye-Rollers
Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
#82
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.
David Geurtsen 5 years ago
No no no....it’s What do you get if you cross a hippopotamus, an elephant, and a rhinoceros? Helephino (hell if I know) BUT...this does use the word ‘hell’ in this version. Wait, didn’t the original infer the word ‘hell’?
#83
Caught in the Act
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.
#85
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
Charlie Holmes 6 years ago
This is one of my all-time favorites. When my kids were young(er), I would tell this joke every evening at the supper table. I did that for over a year, so I'm sure it'll be passed down to my grandkids and, hopefully, generations after. At least I'll have a legacy. 8^] I've always spoken the punchline using my best John Wayne impersonation.
#86
Exhausted From Dreaming
I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!
#87
You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.
#88
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
#89
Legal Hay Drama
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
Marc Stevens 6 years ago
They repealed that law. They discovered it was more important that the cows had a well-rounded diet.
#90
Question & Answer Jokes That Keep You Guessing
What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.
Aidan Rance 6 years ago
I'm fetta-p with bad food puns, even i'm not that old! You'll need a stronger start if you want to keep up with me. lol
#91
DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."
#92
I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.
#93
Boogie Down Humor
How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!
#94
How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”
#95
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
#96
Pop Culture Bite
Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.
#97
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!
Jan Kowalski 5 years ago
Even a little horse deserves a bucket of water at least. Stop animal cruelty!
#99
Fishy Wordplay
What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.
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What do you think ?
K. LNU 7 years ago
Anyone else keep hearing the "ba-dum-dum *cymbal crash" after each one? lol
Maria Windsor 6 years ago
YESSSSSS lol in real life actually my lil bro was at his drumset when I was reading these aloud and he made that sound after each one :P lol!!!!!!!!!!!!
Load More Replies...
JillVille 7 years ago
My sister & her hubby are having their first. I gave him joke books wrapped in ribbon as a New Dad's Prep Kit. They laughed and he tossed out some real groaners - he's already well on the way to annoying the heck out of my new niece!
Scott Allam 6 years ago (edited)
Hold my beer... Three dads walk into a bar. The first one tells a joke while the other two laugh.
Kelly Horrigan 7 years ago
6 year old niece listening to adults asks my dad "Papa what is Happy Hour?" with out a pause he said "when you're sleeping" She was not pleased.
Stella Rose 7 years ago
Here's one: Why did the old woman fall down the well? She couldn't see that well.
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago
One time I was watching this video of puns and one of them was a guy was standing near a river next to another guy, and the second was was holding a stick, the first one is like "okay mah boy Moses here gonna open the river for us" and the one with the stick says "open sesame" and slams the stick down and nothing happens. So hes like "I guess God changed the password"
Crystal Vaughan 1 year ago
My dad's favorite dad joke was: when is a door not a door? When it's ajar /-:
Karl Weaver 2 years ago
My favorite joke is: Where do bad rainbows go? They go to prism, but it’s a light sentence!
Marrdiyat Ahmed-Moro 5 years ago
The ones with the higher points were the most funny. When the points decreased, so did the level of how high I would laugh.
Mark Leonhardt 6 years ago
My oldest boy was with his wife at a store. The sales lady ask if he need help, "Do you have a psychiatry degree?" His wife groaned and said "OMG you've become your father. I've never been so proud!
Lauren Montgomery 6 years ago
SON: Why is there a possum living in our backyard? DAD: Because this is a home of possumblities.
Kelly Horrigan 7 years ago
Dad to a 14 year old indignant me: "Kelly, this house is not a democracy it is an anarchy but I am the ruler"
Kelly Horrigan 7 years ago
Mom and Dad on the way to their anniversary party stop on the way to pick up some food. Guy asks him " How many years have you been Married?" Dad: " 50. If i committed murder I would have been out in 25"
Rebekah Getz 7 years ago
Did you see the new movie "Constipation"? Of course not, it hasn't come out yet.
Carol Emory 7 years ago
My friends interaction with his daughter. Daughter "Dad, I'm thirsty!" Dad: "Glad to meet you Thirsty! My name is Jason!"
Gemma Lees 7 years ago
My father-in-law lives for when we're in restaurants and someone drops something so he can shout "sack the juggler!" What makes it really funny is how much it embarrasses my mother-in-law!
Nicklas Linder 7 years ago (edited)
A pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks why he has a steering wheel down his pants and the pirate answers "Yarr! It's driving me nuts!"
K. LNU 7 years ago
Anyone else keep hearing the "ba-dum-dum *cymbal crash" after each one? lol
Maria Windsor 6 years ago
YESSSSSS lol in real life actually my lil bro was at his drumset when I was reading these aloud and he made that sound after each one :P lol!!!!!!!!!!!!
Load More Replies... JillVille 7 years ago
My sister & her hubby are having their first. I gave him joke books wrapped in ribbon as a New Dad's Prep Kit. They laughed and he tossed out some real groaners - he's already well on the way to annoying the heck out of my new niece!
Scott Allam 6 years ago (edited)
Hold my beer... Three dads walk into a bar. The first one tells a joke while the other two laugh.
Kelly Horrigan 7 years ago
6 year old niece listening to adults asks my dad "Papa what is Happy Hour?" with out a pause he said "when you're sleeping" She was not pleased.
Stella Rose 7 years ago
Here's one: Why did the old woman fall down the well? She couldn't see that well.
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago
One time I was watching this video of puns and one of them was a guy was standing near a river next to another guy, and the second was was holding a stick, the first one is like "okay mah boy Moses here gonna open the river for us" and the one with the stick says "open sesame" and slams the stick down and nothing happens. So hes like "I guess God changed the password"
Crystal Vaughan 1 year ago
My dad's favorite dad joke was: when is a door not a door? When it's ajar /-:
Karl Weaver 2 years ago
My favorite joke is: Where do bad rainbows go? They go to prism, but it’s a light sentence!
Marrdiyat Ahmed-Moro 5 years ago
The ones with the higher points were the most funny. When the points decreased, so did the level of how high I would laugh.
Mark Leonhardt 6 years ago
My oldest boy was with his wife at a store. The sales lady ask if he need help, "Do you have a psychiatry degree?" His wife groaned and said "OMG you've become your father. I've never been so proud!
Lauren Montgomery 6 years ago
SON: Why is there a possum living in our backyard? DAD: Because this is a home of possumblities.
Kelly Horrigan 7 years ago
Dad to a 14 year old indignant me: "Kelly, this house is not a democracy it is an anarchy but I am the ruler"
Kelly Horrigan 7 years ago
Mom and Dad on the way to their anniversary party stop on the way to pick up some food. Guy asks him " How many years have you been Married?" Dad: " 50. If i committed murder I would have been out in 25"
Rebekah Getz 7 years ago
Did you see the new movie "Constipation"? Of course not, it hasn't come out yet.
Carol Emory 7 years ago
My friends interaction with his daughter. Daughter "Dad, I'm thirsty!" Dad: "Glad to meet you Thirsty! My name is Jason!"
Gemma Lees 7 years ago
My father-in-law lives for when we're in restaurants and someone drops something so he can shout "sack the juggler!" What makes it really funny is how much it embarrasses my mother-in-law!
Nicklas Linder 7 years ago (edited)
A pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel down his pants. The bartender asks why he has a steering wheel down his pants and the pirate answers "Yarr! It's driving me nuts!"
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