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People Still Can’t Stop Posting Corona Jokes And Here Are 40 Of The Freshest Ones To Make You Laugh Then Cry
The coronavirus continues to spread and has infected more than 26 million people all over the world. It’s no laughing matter and sometimes it’s tough to see the silver lining in life. But finding some humor in this thoroughly miserable state of affairs and poking fun at 2020 helps keep our spirits up.
That’s why Bored Panda brings you the newest edition of coronavirus jokes that people are sharing online. Upvote your favorite corona jokes, let us know which ones you liked the most and why, and make sure to check out our latest lists here, here, as well as here.
And remember, dear Pandas—even Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson reminds us all to wear our masks. We gotta do what The Rock says, there’s no two ways about it. I mean, imagine saying ‘no’ to The Rock! Meanwhile, comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine told Bored Panda that she believes humor today is far more pessimistic and darker than at the start of the year because the pandemic's much more serious than most of us first thought. "But on the upside, there’s also a shared sense of camaraderie and getting through tough times together." Scroll down for the rest of the interview.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
It is easier to teach a dog to sit, than for people to follow rules.
XianJaguar 5 years ago
Staying home and watching TV unfortunately does not pay the rent or buy food.
Paige Garberding 5 years ago
The morons are either rebels without a cause or have Oppositional Defiant Disorder or both.
RELATED:
#2
Maria Jasmine Medina-Almogino 5 years ago
He's a Trump supporter. Definitely a comedian
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WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
"Rep" in front of his name already gave that away. Ridiculously Empty-headed Parasite.
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#3
Ms Forty Seven 5 years ago
Also... is there anything wrong with being afraid of a killer disease?
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Saying that somehow wearing a mask is infringing on your freedom is like saying that it matters not one iota which side of the road you drive on, no one has the right to tell you to drive on one side or another. And what about traffic lights? Who says I should stop on red and go on green? Oh, no, no such dictatorial nonsense for me! I'll go on red and stop on green. Whaddayamean it's about people not having accidents, who cares????? *shaking my head*
Benjamin Roth 5 years ago
Well damn I literally just burnt myself with the oven... but hey heat kills rona
Just like many of us, Ariane limits the amount of time she spends absorbing corona-related news nowadays. "I get my news in bite-sized chunks from Twitter. I read the news articles they recommend but I never watch the television news as I find that a lot more emotive and distressing than written news," she said. It's good for our emotional health to limit how much time we spend thinking about the coronavirus each day.
According to Ariane, there are some things waiting for us in the near future that could be cause for renewed hope and optimism. "The news that a vaccine is just around the corner is cause for optimism, but whether most people will be willing to take it or not is another matter. Hopefully, the pandemic will be over entirely by this time next year," she said.
#4
Animal lover❤ 5 years ago
I don't know what's wrong with me but i sang it to the tune of "every little thing she does is magic" 😂
Theory Buchannon 5 years ago
Omg...i'm the only one who knows this song at my school...i feel old...and i'm 14...and ik this song...i love it so much
#5
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
I'd do what they tell me every one should see how a person dies from this it is a horror!
Big Blue Cat 5 years ago
I really don't love my neighbour. I don't love myself that much either. I do kind of like some people though... the point being? Nevermind. It's tolerable to meet other people when I can cover at least half of my face. I have always hated people spit-talking to me and knew that would be the final nail to the coffin of mankind.
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
Only bible-belt evangelicals will not care for their neighbours ...
L.j. Bus 5 years ago
Yes indeed. Instead of living with a sort of paranoia that we were tricked into doing something that doesn’t work, just focus on the reason Why we did that. To want a healthy society and no sick neighbours should make it on top of that list where trying to protect yourself obviously will be. We do it for the right intentions so let ‘m laugh if someone else can’t see the beauty in that
Adrian Elliott 5 years ago
So one should always wear a mask. There have always been, and always will be pathogens. If you ever went without, or go without a mask, you are a hypocrite.
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#6
Jack Osilka 5 years ago
https://www.medpagetoday.com/infectiousdisease/covid19/87120
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Sarah Ryan 5 years ago
Please let's make this viral!!!! I work 2 jobs, medical (ft) and retail (pt). With all of the virtual assistance available, if y'all need a simple requisition or a case of coke, think twice, stay your a*s at home. A global pandemic is not the time for these minute things! PS: what's with all the STI checks right now?!?! Where is the discipline people?!?!
Jessica A 5 years ago
I think it's so funny that you don't need a mask when you;re seated but while waiting you . 😂
Judy Crozier 5 years ago
difficult to eat/drink while wearing a mask, as the sign indicates
Load More Replies... Ashley Richard 5 years ago
What i don't get is this. You have to wear a mask until you sit down to eat. How does that make any sense? Like, your safe as long as you're sitting down???
Colleen Wilson 5 years ago
I have asthma. My pulseox starts at 92. Would you like me to never go out? I wear a mask but sometimes have to take it off to catch my breath. We're not all terminally ill, necessarily have anything but occasionally need to breathe.
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
Paper masks will not lower your 02. We wear them 12 hrs. plus, a day, in the operating room.
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JJM 5 years ago
Is there really a 'medical condition' for not wearing a mask? I am curious to know what it is.
L.j. Bus 5 years ago
I do have trouble breathing through a mask but indeed, that shouldn’t be a reason to go outside without one. It is what it is, if you can’t wear one, you need to stay away/inside
L.j. Bus 5 years ago
That being said; I have never been more thankful to needing a wheelchair or my disability scooter than in 2020 because I would’ve fallen to the ground countless times with the lesser oxigen lol Driving around lightheaded more times than I can count (on those two, I would never drive around in a car when lightheaded of course so thank goodness that mask can stay off once the doors close. I always need a while to “get fully back” before I can safely drive away but at least I HAVE an option that allows me to go out when need be. Just never thought I’d be so thankful for that wheelchair and disability scooter lol
Load More Replies...Previously, Bored Panda spoke about staying optimistic and hopeful in these trying times with psychologist, priest, and published author Dr. Fraser Watts. According to him, optimism is a matter or prediction while hope is a matter of attitude.
"In the present situation, I don't think there are any good grounds for optimism, and to be optimistic would be a retreat into a fantasy world. However, even in present circumstances, it is possible and really helpful to maintain a positive, hopeful attitude,” he said.
Dr. Watts explained that staying hopeful about the future requires practice and cultivating a positive mindset. “It is useful to be clear that hope does not depend on believing that everything is going to be fine. It is more an act of will."
#7
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
No, Neil, but we do have mucus and nostril hairs which help keep out or fight some bacteria and viruses, and we have eyelids to protect our vulnerable fluid orbs, so yes, nature does try to grow its own masks, but those with higher order of intelligence use their evolved brains to invent tools to speed things along. Use yours.
Yvonne Blau 5 years ago
A respirator to get air into your lungs is also unnatural. Guess you'll just have to die.
AntiNutjob 5 years ago
My feet have evolved to wear nikes. Also please use your masks and stay strong 👍
Viviane 5 years ago
Does Neil s**t in the woods? If yes, what do the proverbial bears think of this?
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Something 5 years ago (edited)
Masks are not necessary for our survival as a species, but they are absolutely necessary for the survival of many individuals. The world's population is high enough that the human species would probably survive even with a loss exceeding a billion lives, but anyone who thinks that that makes it okay to cause any number of individuals to die is a truly bad person.
#8
BOU 5 years ago
Let's hope by years end the man does not have to order an orange soda additionally.
Darwinist 5 years ago
Let's hope he meant the beer and that hurricane is some sort of cocktail and this is not a coincidence. * May or may not have sarcasm
Hemrich Gundesalf 5 years ago
Yes there is a cocktail called "Hurricane". There's also one called "Riot Act". The combo is on special, still just for $20.20. If you wait they add more Hurricanes and Riot Acts.
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#9
Daria B 5 years ago
Err.... Don't wear it if you don't need it. But, please, know that many of us need support. It helps us being free and independent. Strange concept, isn't it?
Load More Replies... Blue Cicada 5 years ago
As a well-endowed woman, you can have my bra when you pry it out of my cold dead hands. I will collect and protect that 20 extra pounds on my chest, for my comfort and my health.
Daria B 5 years ago
I'm with you on this one! I really don't get all this bra hating. I mean, if you don't need teeth braces, don't wear them, but don't go marching against teeth braces as the evil of society - YAY! FREE THE TEETH! Nonsense.
Load More Replies... Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
I have been titi free for years. Make the guys wear jock straps when the go out and about. Turnabout is fair play.
Tree 5 years ago
We should clarify that to "make all the straight men wear jockstraps out and about." The gay men already championed jockstraps as everyday wear.
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K Witmer 5 years ago
No one should have to wear a bra if they don't want to and it should be completely acceptable and it should not phase a living soul. Women are always constricted bc of men. Boobs are not sexual!! They are sacks of fat we evolved to have to feed children. Men are the ones that sexualized them! Why aren't moobs wearing bras? Rape culture is crazy
Blue Cicada 5 years ago
Women created the brazier, not men. Mammary glands are not bags of fat. They are an essential part of the cis female body, developing independent of a person's fertility, parental status, sexual orientation or gender identity. Breasts are not always convenient, especially when they are very large and very heavy. Wearing a bra is for comfort and health reasons, not to please the sexual desires of men. The type of bra she chooses might be to please a man, but that's a woman's choice. Bras and other lingerie meant to please a man are purchased for special occasions. Women don't think about a man's reaction when they are shopping for their every day undergarments.
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Meanwhile, the question of whether or not anyone should be making jokes about the coronavirus is on some people’s minds. Earlier, Know Your Meme’s Senior Editor Matt Schimkowitz told Bored Panda we need to evaluate each joke on a case-by-case basis.
“There are plenty of great coronavirus memes and plenty of bad ones. I think when it comes to a situation like that, one that affects everyone on a global scale, it's kind of fair game. Of course, there's a line, I think, when you start mocking other people's experiences with the virus,” he explained.
#10
Laila sinke 5 years ago
fortune teller: you will stay inside all the time fortune teller: and you will have meetings form your kitchen and they always Start with can you here me
BiColi Erasmus 5 years ago
Well, I did say that I wanted to be financially independent, travel more, work from home and spend more time with my kids. 2 out of 4 is a win for me.
Sophia Brandy 3 years ago
Natural herbs have cured so many illnesses that drugs and injections can't cure. I've seen the great importance of natural herbs and the wonderful work they have done in people's lives. I read people's testimonies online on how they were cured of herpes, HIV, diabetics, etc by Dr.Adeogun herbal medicine. Contact Dr. Adeogun on: isedradeogun@gmail.com Phone/Whatsapp no: +234 7045891565
Thomas Es Thomas 5 years ago
Nope. I'm essential, so I'm right where I thought I'd be: still working. I'm also a hero: I wear my mask.
Wyndmere 5 years ago
Ditto. I didn't get to binge watch TV, sleep until noon, get paid for not working, do my hobbies all day, deep clean my house, learn a new skill or language. I did get to go outside in the sunshine, drive around town, visit stores and restaurants, keep all my bills current, bring food and other supplies to people who had health risks, find TP & sanitizer when it was on store shelves for 10 minutes b4 hoarders got it.
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Rainclouds Radio 5 years ago
Today I just could not get my mask comfortable. I even muttered to myself something about a "bad mask day"
heidi holmes 5 years ago
Hell, for that matter mine comes off the second I'm away from the doorway and other people!
Chicago Dog Lover 5 years ago
Taking off your mask as soon as you get in the car is the new taking off your bra as soon as you get home.
Computernaut 5 years ago
Except for those strange people who just drive in their car alone with their mask on... Y'all scared of catching COVID from yourself or something?
My O My 5 years ago
Personally I don't mind wearing one and when I only have a few minutes drive to the next shop I'll simply eave it on. Basically I'm to lazy to tie and untie it every other minute 😂
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Seabeast 5 years ago
Gives me a whole new level of respect for people whose job requires them to wear one all day long.
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
You get so used to them that you often forget you have them on. Bras are worse.
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Yvette Desmarais 5 years ago
When I get out of my car and put my mask on, I feel like I'm a bank robber masking up for another job.
Connie Martin 5 years ago
I've been surprised that I've become so used to wearing it I don't take it off immediately when I get home (and I live alone). Weird.
#12
Rabbit Carrot 5 years ago (edited)
Yes and then they’ll blame you if you get bitten by them. Jerks.
Rissie 5 years ago
In essence they are people that are very afraid of any change, so this scares the hell out of them. They show it by protesting everything that is different from their daily lives. It really is quite sad and can't be countered with reason.
Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
Gretal, can we ask you to make one comment that doesn’t have an ad hominem attack, that uses logic and reliable data, and that isn’t offensive? Would be lovely.
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The meme expert added that some people will always be offended by some jokes and it’s impossible to fully reconcile them with the people who make jokes. “It's possible to make jokes about sensitive topics, but you have to listen to your audience in order to get there.”
Schimkowitz isn’t too fired up about the rest of the year. “Sorry to say, it's not looking good. We're currently in the middle of a global pandemic, so I think for many people it's probably going to continue being pretty painful. Oh, and there's a US election coming up, which are usually calm, orderly events with no problems, partisanship, or societal ruptures. Sorry to be a bummer!”
#13
Brandi VanSteenwyk 5 years ago
I have gotten into the habit of blaming EVERY negative, disruptive, bothersome or odd occurrence on 2020. It keeps me optimistic that "This too shall pass..."
#14
Kate Yeti 5 years ago
Some things are so awful you have to choose whether to laugh or cry. Either way, do it behind your mask.
Paige Garberding 5 years ago
It's surprising that the owner of Home Depot, being a BIG fan of Trump, is allowing any of his employees to wear masks.
#15
Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
@lilian barber that’s all for today’s segment of spot the idiot that takes jokes too seriously. See you on the next post, I’m sure!
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Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
That was the one thing that scared me when I was a kid Buck teeth .
Marlene Ricker 5 years ago
This is a lady after my own heart. If we have to wear masks (and we do), we can at least have some fun with them. I bet she made everyone is in the meeting at least smile, if not laugh out loud!
#16
EA 5 years ago
Or mobile phones and voice assistants who record everything you say lol
Load More Replies... Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
There is one President to be tracked. Because he is completely off said track.
Big Blue Cat 5 years ago
Our national Covid app was just released. People keep complaining that the government is spying their whereabouts with the app. Foil hat wearing man: "yes, google has the POWER to do that". Hey bro, yes sure google is interested what 59 year old unemployed beer-belly is doing. Yes, they didn't come up to any better idea than to make people download this app volunterily, to spy where you are. I mean who do these people think they are? Everybody knows they are in the local pub, no need to spy.
#17
Borgia 137 5 years ago
Why is is always animals paying for our amusement? I don't want a skinned cat! I prefer a happy one. Maybe a sphynx, just so i can see its skin to make sure it is where it should be🤣
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Bob Belcher 5 years ago
My daughter's school district reopened this Monday. 1st day, 2 elementary schools closed down because more than 1 student tested positive. And they looked at me crazy for saying my child will stay home for the whole year.
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
Post viral syndrome can paralyze, and more. Nobody knows how much heart & vessel damage there will be after Covid infection. But we expose children? And...they're already little disease-dispersing machines. Now they'll bring covid to everyone around them.
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Thomas Register 5 years ago
Yeah, this was my response when those kids were suspended. I wish it had happened that way.
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Keeps going the way its going there are gonna be a lot of dead kids. The is no other way to put it.
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
Sadly many (not all) people in the US don’t care about that, just look at school shootings. As longs as their rights are protected that’s all that matters.
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Sophia Brandy 3 years ago
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Vicki Perizzolo 5 years ago
thus taking the virus back home with them....just put them in their rooms for 2 weeks
#18
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Have you eve tried to tell someone to put a mask on. his is what you get- "What the hell you worried about you've got yours on."
Isabella R.W. 5 years ago
@Kirt Smith, Don't joke about that. This post is joking about the coronavirus
#19
Id row 5 years ago
idk, I gotta question someone's smarts who doesn't know how to spell 'whether'. Points for using the correct 'they're' though.
Sofie 5 years ago (edited)
As someone with another first language, this really is something I think about when talking or writing in english. "Will they think I'm stupid or at least less smart because I might spell something wrong, mispronounce something or not making myself completely understood?". For this reason I am not hard on other people who say or write something incorrectly no matter their first language. If I get what they mean it's fine. I meet a lot of foreigners at work and I don't go around correcting their swedish. There is however a person at work who asks me to help correct her and help her with learning swedish, and I'm happy to. But I don't correct her when she's vulnerable though, like when she's upset or around other people. Love from Sweden 🇸🇪❤
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Kevin Doyle 5 years ago
'WHETER they are stupid" I love grammatical errors in posts about intelligence.
blugeagua 5 years ago
The mask is bunched up. It could easily uncover their nose and mouth the more they move.
Load More Replies... #20
K Witmer 5 years ago
Other countries like Japan. When their citizens are sick they choose to wear a mask so others don't get sick. I think that's kind and considerate. Especially during a pandemic everyone should be kind and considerate. Life is different for a short time. Gretel S is a sociopath. Pay that thing no mind
abby smink 5 years ago
I mean, we literally have to do that at my job. Wear a mask or get the flu shot, during flu season.
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
Oh, gee, and while you're at it, why don't we just continue to put out hand sanitizer stations everywhere, and add regular cleaning of shared work and transit surfaces on that list!
Marina 5 years ago
right before the virus first hit my country, people knew about it ravaging china but were very judgy of those wearing masks in my country and called them paranoid and so on. i was wearing one because i was ill with the flu but needed to go to uni, and I wanted to protect people around me. the looks I kept receiving were nasty... soon after that i had to wear one because i had a septum intervention and my nose was very sensitive to cold, but I felt too uncomfortable to wear a mask outside because I felt like people could attack me verbally for doing so. covidiots are a rare breed of humans...
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
Thank you for being a good person who strives to protect those around them!
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JuJu 5 years ago
Just imagine that when somebody has a cold, he would wear a mask instead of coughing into my neck in the bus. <3
#21
MermaidsAndDragons 5 years ago
I found a hat that read "Flush The Turd on Nov. 3rd"
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ispeak catanese 5 years ago
I live in Florida where people can shoot for no reason and I'd be too afraid of wearing anything political in public.
Jennifer Hargett 5 years ago
Ispeak; I understand. I've been accosted in parking lots for my number stickers when I lived in FL. I do NOT miss it.
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Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
Lmao congratulations on not being a rapist Gretal! What a saint! When people talk about Mother Teresa, they usually don’t mention all the people she didn’t rape.
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#22
BG 5 years ago
Your luggage is too heavy for the plane. For an additional charge, it will be light enough to travel.
Aisha La Gatta Pelirroja 5 years ago
Unfortunatly it's not that simple. As a handling staff we have to know the exact weight of luggage to balance the plane. But if passenge's bag is to heavy, we can't write the actual weight on system without any charge, because the airlines will impose a penalty payment on handling agency.
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Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
I would not get on a plane with hundreds of passengers unless I was in a wet suit with my own breathing apparatus.
Id row 5 years ago
When your employer or other company wants something from you, you're family all of a sudden.
Daria B 5 years ago
Reminds me of one of my previous employers, who told me "we are supposed to be family, and yet you behave like someone who's about to leave". I didn't tell him anything, but, when you think about it, that's kind of the point. You leave your family home when you grow up, to go into the world and be independent, and build your own life (and maybe your own new family too, but you're the one who sets the rules in this case).
Load More Replies... Computernaut 5 years ago
All the companies now: "We're in this together (but we still want your money)."
Valerie G. 5 years ago
Comedian John Pinette (RIP) said in one set that he was told his luggage was two pounds overweight, his response "well, I'll just open up the suitcase and take out one pair of underwear".
Catie Cayos 5 years ago
They also don't hesitate to sell tickets 6 times more expensive when your country declares your holiday destination a red zone and you have just over 24 hours to fly back home to avoid having to self-isolate on return.
#23
Henry Cheves 5 years ago
Why does Bob bob write Trump 2020 on every post? Does he want people to hate him?
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
LOVE this! Your rights end where the next person's begin! I guess they don't teach this in school any more.
#24
N G 5 years ago
In Jaws, is there an orange buffoon telling people that it's safe to go into the water because sharks aren't real
deanna woods 5 years ago
No, just a mayor who wears a suit with little anchors all over the jacket.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
And did you notice that the ones that were denying the dangers and pushing to reopen the beach were the business people?
#25
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
In the old days they used to burn real outhouses just for the hell of it.
Rissie 5 years ago
Probably not just for the hell of it, but after someone got sick. We kinda got how it works pretty soon, just had to figure out effective ways to fight it. And if we're talking about history. Can you imagine someone from the middle ages coming here and see our level of "normal" cleanliness? They would freak out about washing hands and drinking water from the tap. And what the huck are you standing under that rainthingie en why are thou clothes in a metal box with water?
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Yvonne Blau 5 years ago
Hahaha that's funny. I still wonder what happened here.... an explosive fart?
Paige Garberding 5 years ago
In the old days outhouses were made of wood, not toxic substances.
Phoenix Shadowhunter 5 years ago
Well that's a really crappy scented candle... get it? Crappy? Man, I *crack* myself up.
#26
Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
No one nose, but I hope they smell these online; I want one.
Load More Replies... Id row 5 years ago
When this mess started and masks were scarce, my mom wanted me to find her some and I emailed her that these Trump ones were all that were left and that I ordered her a case. My phone rang 30 seconds later. Worth it. trump-face...93f0b0.jpg 
Dragonfruit'nrollerskates 5 years ago
Went to the Bronx Zoo yesterday. Inside the Monkey house (Inside!!!) People where doing this and employees didn't say anything. Got out of there real quick.
Darwinist 5 years ago
Covididoits will be fooled. Might not work if your skin tone is different.
#27
XianJaguar 5 years ago
Hopefully Grandma is smart enough to know that children are little germ vectors, and she would stay away from the kid until a vaccine was made. I can't see my Father-in-Law, because he is frail and elderly, and I know staying away from him until a vaccine is found is the SAFE way to do things.
Susanna Scott 5 years ago
That's soooooo sad. I mean, how realistic and just tragic. Selfish people.
#28
Lisa Keller-Fawcett 5 years ago
Unless you're a christian baker, then everyone thinks this is okay....
#29
Dippin Dot 5 years ago
My 2020 calendar was "A F*cking Calendar". September's month is "Holy Sh!t Balls" and it has random quips such as "F*cking Pumpkin Everything" on random days. Along with the middle finger stickers, and some that say "Suck it Up" I feel it was spot on for what this year brought us!
Ian Osmond 5 years ago
So, basically, you're saying this is all YOUR fault?
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Kelley Clough Mountain 5 years ago
I had a 2020 day planner. Tossed that sucker two months ago.
DamnBecky 5 years ago
Im sad I cant show off my 2020 calendar this year. I always have one in the kitchen that my friends look for. I have never gotten better than my 2018 Harry Potter pinup girl calendar but my 2020 Wiccan spell calendar is close!
ArhomR 5 years ago
I guess there are no Wiccan spells good enough to tackle 2020. Go back to Harry Potter for a better shot at 2021. Please.
Load More Replies... Arran Walker 5 years ago
My 2020 calendar is all about weaknesses, fears, and disappointments. Whoever designed that calendar needs to be stopped; their predictions are too good.
Lynn Morello 5 years ago
My calendar is now sitting on Monday 27th July and I am not stressed at all.
Elizabeth Gardner 5 years ago
I bought my planner last Christmas and so far I have three appointments in it. Two cancellations Notes scribbled out more listed phone numbers and one appointment with a large underscored message DO NOT FORGET BORDER PERMIT.
#30
Karin Jansen 5 years ago
Ah, gravitationalism. Serious illness. #spreadawareness #thoughtsandprayers
Rissie 5 years ago
And you wonder why they didn't just carry parachutes if they knew they were prone to that.
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Scyth 5 years ago (edited)
Well because in 9/11 billions of dollars worth of property was lost while the corona doesn't destroy property.
Daria B 5 years ago
Good point. But it kind of does, when you think about it.
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Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
Well Trump said at the start, after he stopped calling it a hoax, that he's OK with 250,000 dead Americans.
Sharon Dean 5 years ago
Did we, anywhere in this world construct buildings that would withstand jet planes?????????? Ya know just saying.
Lynn Morello 5 years ago
I think most people would have succumbed to Gravity, don't you think?
#31
Gwinevere von Ludwig 5 years ago
haha I'm pretty sure I know where this intersection is (in NYC)
Darwinist 5 years ago
The reason nobody discovered before Albert Einstein is that human stupidity is impossible to comprehend. (Albert Einstein discovered it because everyone else was too dumb to think how dumb they are.)
Saico Hipe 5 years ago
Everything happens for a reason... It's called causation. Which, on levels grand and microscopic, is often inscrutable to us. Things do not always happen reasonably within human understanding, especially in ways that we find just or desirable.
#32
Magpie 5 years ago
Thank you !! Toea. I am so relieved i am not the only one that saw that.
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#33
ChimeraBubbles 5 years ago
I swear if this virus was visible to the naked eye people would stay the f**k home. I mean, some people had trouble accepting germ theory in the first place. "What do you mean there are tiny creatures making me sick? Everyone knows illness comes from bad smells."
Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
Bold of you to assume they’d be any more intelligent
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Sarcasm101 5 years ago
Bro the only zombies are the brain dead trump supporters who refuse to wear masks!
Big Blue Cat 5 years ago
On the positive note, this pandemic has calmed us down. Now we know that zombie apocalypse would not last long - they would starve without enough brains to eat.
Vicki Perizzolo 5 years ago
the kids today are going to look back at 2020 and wonder what in the world the adults were thinking by NOT paying attention to medical advice....assuming their parents did and they survive long enough to query it
Philly Bob Squires 5 years ago
What I really love are the preppers that tell you they have a bunker and it's loaded with food and water, air purification, generators, medicine, weapons, DVDs etc and could live there for a year with their family and how safe they'll be but can't stay in their own damned living rooms for 3 weeks.
#34
Human #1,232,867 5 years ago
Here camouflage mask is so great that people can't see it. Got it now?
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Allen Lavine 5 years ago
I had to read the comments to get it that went over my head like hair
Damon Gates 5 years ago
Yes, but it's creepy how they, her forehead, and her hair float unattached above her neck.
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Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago
I don’t understand, she’s clearly not wearing a mask. Of course she’d get kicked out.
Taavi Lass 5 years ago
Why is there a picture of a woman with half a face? What has this to do with masks? Is it funny because she has no nose and mouth?? o.O
#35
Priscillia Indradjaja 5 years ago
People in Asia are used to wearing a mask when they feel unwell - especially the ones who walk and take public transits a lot
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Rissie 5 years ago
I wish people could understand that if you protect others from falling ill, you protect the doctor that will save your kidney when you get ill, or that person that takes such awesome care of your parent or child or neighbor. Or maybe it's the dentist's assistant's kid that doesn't catch the flu so he can get to work and your appointment isn't cancelled. You don't know exactly how it affects you, but it does and being sick just equals a loss of productivity. So if you want that update for your smartphone, you better wear a mask to make sure the people making and releasing it don't get sick.
Philler Space 5 years ago
Because we have this weird thing in America where if you get sick it means it's your fault. If you did everything right, you should be healthy, the logic goes. A lot of what's jacked about our healthcare system starts to make sense when you realize how many Americans, subconsciously or otherwise, treat sickness and infirmity like it's a personal failing.
#36
Nicola Roberts 5 years ago
I was just about to push the door open to a shop and in the reflection behind me I saw a man wearing a mask. First thought "oh bugger" - about turn!
Destiney Torres 5 years ago
Oh that was me on wednesday trying to be buy a bag of takis but forgot my mask in the car.
Seabeast 5 years ago
Andre de Grasse, Canadian sprint specialist. Runs the 100m and 200m.
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#37
Ellen Daniels 5 years ago
Every time I see someone with their mask under their nose, I know I'm looking at an imbicile.
#38
Rissie 5 years ago (edited)
Yeah, that's not how it works. If you would have survived the attack with you diabetes being managed correctly, the mismanagement of the diabetes is the cause of your death. And the bear attack is the reason you end up in the hospital where you're diabetes is mismanaged. If it would be unable to survive from the bear attack because you are subsequently bleeding to death, the cause of death is the bleeding, caused by the bear attack. Otherwise anything leading up to each moment can be counted as the cause. I get that this is about suspicious counting of covid-deaths. But. Imagine you, the healthy diabetic, hurt your toe real bad and it needs stitches. You end up in the hospital where your sugar levels are mismanaged badly and you die. Pretty sure no one will even try to claim it's the painful toe that killed you.
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
then just put all of it down, call it a co-morbidity, and call it a day.
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Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
I had type 2 diabetes. I lost weight (200+ lbs) and no longer have it. I am healthy enough to run an ultra marathon. The high cholesterol, hyperlipidosis, and high blood pressure will kill me before a bear will attack me here in Los Angeles. (I was in the 1988 LA marathon.) The bear is not the cause of my death; the insurance company which would not pay for pre-existing conditions will be the cause of my death. -Dr M (not all doctors have lean morphology)
Paige Garberding 5 years ago
It appears that a LOT of Americans are missing the brain part for cause and effect.
#39
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago (edited)
That’s how I felt when I heard “must be free”, when a product wouldn’t scan or had no price tag.
Louloubelle 5 years ago
That's how I feel when someone asks if I "want to speak to the manager" - real name, Karen
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Yvonne Blau 5 years ago
Probably due to all the corona parties that still take place. People are just so funny (not).
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Avery S Alberico 5 years ago
Can we get this drawing as a meme template? realistic Drake is an old meme
Harley Hoglin 5 years ago
Below average. It doesn't say much for a beer if it needs a a hunk of fruit in it before it's worth drinking.
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#41
#42
#43
Dragonfruit'nrollerskates 5 years ago
My question is how do you breathe through solid silicone what do you have to download for that the ilungz X?
#44
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
The reasons may differ, the stupidity is the same. But it must feel good to know that thoughts and prayers are very effective against Corona.
K.Kobayashi 5 years ago
The reason is the same - they think the danger isn't real.
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Marissa Wyatt 5 years ago
okay, i get this is a joke but, churches make you wear masks. and unless ur family u have to stay 6 feet apart
Kurt Baker 5 years ago
Agreed, our church of 5000+ has not met in person since march. We use zoom for services, youth group & bible studies. We were among the first to close and we will be among the last to reopen. Freedom comes with responsibility.
Squirrelflightisawesome 5 years ago
I always wear a mask and social distance. Plus no singing and a limited amount of people
Z Alexi 5 years ago
For the religious freaks who'd rather pray in public than live, listen to Nobelist Stephen Hawking: "Science is increasingly answering questions that used to be the province of religion." Atheists will outlive those who purposefully suspend critical thinking. It's nothing to be admired.
Russian Otaku 5 years ago
Far far worse. At least one group has legitimate reasons to go and get some enjoyment and the church goers are just totally stupid idiots
Remi Flynne 5 years ago (edited)
Old photo, text changed to suit the current issue.
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#46
#47
#48
HempFairy 5 years ago (edited)
-Police officer: How high are you? -Me:No, it's "Hi,how are you?".
Jamma 5 years ago
Close. The end to the joke is "No, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
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#49
Sarcasm101 5 years ago
Last day of school Friday 13th and the Area 51 raid
Load More Replies... Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Things have really been going to s**t since Trump started expressing his views on the virus.
#50
#51
Magpie 5 years ago
Your aims are low. I intend to come back as a cicada. The long version. They can sleep for 17 years!
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#53
Rabbit Carrot 5 years ago
Yeah but they’ll be dead and then you can use the pool on your own. Win win.
Audrey Smith 5 years ago
And YouTube. The amount of collabs I’m seeing now are insane. *cough* James Charles *cough*
#54
averageperson 5 years ago
I was homeschooled before it was cool... we didn't have a marching band.
#55
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
One problem with this is there is no after Corona yet. But that will be me.
#56
Caitlin M. Maguire 3 years ago
and then there's doctor's family members who refuse to believe COVID is as bad as it is and get all bent out of shape when you try to challenge them..
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Just go with the flow, "admit" that their Covid result is false and send them on their way so they can drown in their longfluids and send them a "Get well" card on their funeral.
#57
GirlFriday 5 years ago
In my small hometown, there is a woman that was posting on Facebook about how the virus was a hoax. She even posted pictures of the sign at her hair salon that read "Masks not required. We are Americans." Well, the small town had an outbreak of the virus and guess where they traced the contact point to? That's right, Miss Anti-Mask and her salon. The state revoked her business license and the city shut her down. She and her son ended up hospitalized with the virus. They have both recovered. But this is not a hoax.
Computernaut 5 years ago
It's easy to take this one example and use it to make a point, but I'm sure there are plenty of mask-abiding people who get COVID and plenty of "anti-maskers" who don't get it so...
Rissie 5 years ago
However stupid that first statement, nobody deserves to get sick. If you can't be merciful, just think of the costs of treating someone for the rest of their life for CHF and COPD. If this person had a job, he or she might never get back to it.
Koalamonster 5 years ago
While I get your point- screw that person for not taking precautions, probably infecting others, and being a drain on resources because they're selfish. Not because they had to be out for work or something necessary and got infected while following all the rules- but because they're too cool for science. While maybe nobody deserves to get sick- I have very little sympathy when they are risking the health of everyone around them.
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#58
#59
Final score:
57points
#60
juice 5 years ago
also!! even if you dispose of them properly, it's important to cut the straps off. that way animals won't get tangled up EgkcspSVkAAbsM_.jpg 
Claire 5 years ago
Thanks for telling me that! I didn't know but now I will start doing that if I have to throw one away.
Load More Replies... Darwinist 5 years ago
Just put them in biohazard bags and incinerate them for good measure. Putting them on the ground doesn't help.
Computernaut 5 years ago
I'm not surprised. With the number of masks that people go through, it's statistically unsurprising that so many are left lying around. The more disposable things you have going around, the more will end up crapped off on the ground.
SimplySarcastic40 5 years ago
put them in the biohazard bins....oh...wait...not deadly enough for that.
#61
#62
Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago
I spend 6 hours running around in Ikea with my Mom even though I have asthma and a chronical bronchitis. I wear that damn thing for hours at work. Those damn crybabies get on my nerves. Just admit you're an antisocial swine and go with it for f***s sake.
Koalamonster 5 years ago
Same! My lungs are garbage and I have some bad days even with steroid inhalers, which I don't currently have because of insurance issues so that's fun, and when people say it's hard for them to breath I want to hit them. I wear it all day at work, if you need an eye exam that damn bad you can wear a mask for 30 minutes. Literally had a guy blow up at me because I was asking him to put his mask over his nose the other day, he freaked out, cursed at me, and then stormed out without having had an exam while yelling- and he seriously said this- 'you're treating me like I have a disease.' That... that's how we're treating everyone right now. Everyone in the store was wearing a mask. But he should be exempt because‐ wait for it- it fogs his glasses up.
Load More Replies... Louloubelle 5 years ago
My name is Karen and I'm sick to death of people acting like I'm an entitled anti-mask, anti-vaxxer b***h. This is bullying pure and simple and if the rest of you find this funny, I suggest you put your name in there and have people actually treat you like this is who you are without even taking the time to get to know you, then shame on you. It is making the lives of hundreds of thousands of women miserable. Many are changing their names, and they shouldn't have to do that. And don't tell me it's only a joke. Because it's not anymore. Jokes are funny, this isn't. Get a new term.
Sandra Mann 5 years ago
Okay........I'll own that I'm a bully if you'll own that you're an idiot.
Load More Replies... Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
You don't wear a masks suffocation is why most Corona victims die your choice buddy!
#63
#64
#65
Mohammad Ammar 5 years ago
Sooo true!! But we don't claim to be the most amazing country on earth so there's that.
Dorothy Parker 5 years ago
We don't either. At least not any more. With Barak Obama at the helm it felt pretty good.
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Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
They're doing the same s**t all over the world thats the freakin problem.
#66
GirlFriday 5 years ago
Shut up. I am still going on vacation next week and you will not stop me. Although, I am driving rather than flying, renting a house rather staying in a hotel, avoiding crowds and staying close to said house as much as possible. BUT AT LEAST I WILL HAVE SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO LOOK AT EVERYDAY AND I WON'T BE WORKING.
#67
#68
#69
#70
FreckledFox 5 years ago
Isn't Kirkland the Costco brand? Gotta have a mask to go in there right?
Koalamonster 5 years ago
Yes, and then they complain loudly for days about how they made them wear a mask. We have people that come in that do wear one, because they have to, but they complain to each person they speak to about it- loudly- and I doubt it stops when they leave the building.
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postboredom 5 years ago
There should be a schedule. A third of the students in the morning, a third in the afternoon and a third in the evening with the teacher taking shifts and breaks to sanitize in between
Dippin Dot 5 years ago
Our schools are doing two days virtual 3 days in person. 1/2 the school is Monday Tuesday, the other half Thursday Friday with Wednesday being all virtual for sanitation. And a lot of parents picked the 100% virtual option as well. They have assigned entrances by grade, no longer have lockers, will carry water bottles, and lunch is going to be served in basically distanced classrooms for eating only. It's going to be interesting!
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Thomas Register 5 years ago
Is it staged, or is there just a school somewhere with halfway sane students, parents, and administrators? (I say halfway, because that's WAY too crowded).
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Diddlybop 5 years ago
At my school the all the year groups have classes ten minutes earlier or later than another year group, we sanatise our hands before and after lessons, there is a one way sysrem througjout the school, a maximum of twenty people in a corridor and we all try not to be idiots. Kids aren't as stupid as you think.
Chez 5 years ago
The schools in South Africa have split classes in half - they either go every second day, or every day but split between morning and afternoon. Virtual is also an option. Grades use separate entrances, there is strict social distancing enforced with lines on the floor and teachers EVERYWHERE monitoring the kids. The kids stay in their classes for most of the day and when they do go out they are kept to their class groups. It's totally possible to keep the kids safe. If it's done properly and if it is enforced.
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago (edited)
What the hell, I am gobsmacked. How did so many stupid people become in charge and making some STUPID decisions by allowing this. GRRR
#72
DexterDogTheLovey 4 years ago
Cami Potter, can I get a link to that video?
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Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Still should wear a mask, these should be cleaned inside and out frequently.
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
These look like collapsible laundry bags/hampers, but the ones I've seen are all mesh, no plastic window.
Load More Replies... Magpie 5 years ago
Ok people are scared and using what ever they have. These will protect the eyes, and reduce the splatter from people close by sneezing. But they should be wearing masks as well. Unless they really need to communicate with deaf people / communication disabled people. or really have a serious breathing condition......but in that case maybe better to stay at home.
Nadine 5 years ago
Not a bad idea! At least you can see the facial expression :) I realized when my daughter went to school a couple of days ago - first time out of home since March- that her teacher can not see her gorgeous smile, nor can she tell the expression of the new faces around her in class. She is 4. Thinking of getting her one of these!
#75
#76
bryguy 5 years ago
H1N1 had 60 million infections but only 12,469 deaths. Big difference with COVID at 26 million cases and 868,034 deaths (as of Sept 3 2020)
K.Kobayashi 5 years ago
Thenatural, the actual deaths from COVID-19 is actually a lot MORE than the official numbers. The standard way to count deaths in an epidemic is to look at excess deaths - how many more people died during the epidemic than during normal times. That's how they count flu deaths, for example. Going by this method, the US has already had more than 200,000 deaths from Covid-19.
Load More Replies... DamnBecky 5 years ago
When I got Swine Flu in 2009 I got a week off of work, no kids could trick or treat at the house and I sat around all week eating Halloween candy with my dad and watching zombie movies. I had a low fever for only 2 of the days. When I got Covid in 2020, my no pre-existing conditions body still spent a night in the ER with every breath being monitored and then 2 weeks stuck in bed where I was too tired to even shower. Its almost like they are different viruses!
#77
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Wish in one hand and s**t in the other see which one gets filled first.
#78
Erika Jones 5 years ago
My 11-year old son told me all the reasons he isn't ready to die yet (he's healthy, but really worried). This is a hell of a time to be a kid. At least his school is online for now.
#79
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
Putin is a jerk but he is 1000 times smarter than Donny. ( Well, who isn't ? ) And he is actually going after corrupt and incompetent people in high places instead of backing them and setting them free from jail.
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#81
Steve Onyx 5 years ago
It's pronounced as "20 20" (Twenty Twenty). So he's right.
Load More Replies... #82
Rabbit Carrot 5 years ago
I see mask litter everywhere, it’s so sad. Don’t be a scumbag, take your trash home with you!
#83
somnomania 5 years ago
nice, good to know i'd survive. also wash your pillows once in a while, it helps.
Damon Gates 5 years ago
This makes no sense whatsoever and the promise is an empty one. The most you'll get from this is a rash, unless you're sucking the pillow into your lungs. If that's the case, Darwin's will be done.
#84
Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
I wonder what the rabies vaccine looked and felt like for that little boy who lived?
Magpie 5 years ago
That is a very old injection kit from the bad old days before single use injections. The metal and glass parts had to be washed and boiled. Vaccines were a wonderful invention!!! You are looking at medical history. The metal needle part often got blunt, and more painful because of that.
Load More Replies... #85
Lindsey Judd-Bruder 5 years ago
It's Putin. Putin himself is the vaccine. He just rides in on a big black stallion and rage-stares it to death.
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
"The Space Race is BACK ON, bitches." - Russia's position on the market space for a COVID vaccine.
#86
True Blue 5 years ago
Yeah like in Victoria we got the one and only Bunnings Karen
Load More Replies... Philler Space 5 years ago
They're not as numerous as they seem; they're just the loudest.
Load More Replies... #87
#88
Final score:
28points
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What do you think ?
Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
...maybe they're using the latter 1980s definition of the word 'fresh', commonly used by East Coast urban dwellers (within hip-hop subculture), to describe something valuable...
Load More Replies... Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Some were very funny. Some were very stupid. Some dangerous. i have a couple I think are funny. Now they're saying that if you survived the Corona virus the Government wants my plasma. No way nobody gonna take my T.V. A mask is not a political statement its an I.Q. test. O.K. i will shut up for now. (love this site)
Amie Redman 4 years ago
Pauline you made my day. The TV thing made me Chuckle. Haven’t seen that one! Have a great day!
Load More Replies... Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
Will the future of education address the glaring shortfalls in people's conclusions when processing information? Like, will history classes include focus on the plagues and pre-germ theory, biology touch upon viral cell structure, chemistry the molecular composition of soap and its effectiveness in breaking down germ walls, math to explain exponentiation and data interpretation, sociology classes to explain "co-morbidity" and how to interpret studies, philosophy to identify logical fallacies and how to think critically, etc.?
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
I expect in some places they will, in others they won't. It will be interesting to see the degree science is adopted and accepted. Eg. Texas vs New York
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scorpesh 5 years ago
well, if worrying about corona is a "joke" then this pandemic proverb : "wear a mask a day keeps the corona away"which is not an identical twin to "eat an apple a day keeps the doctor away"is definitely not a joke. (P.S no one gives a damn if one eats an apple or not,but if doesn't wear a mask in name of standard health concern then one can't help but forced to be worried/concerned.
Shopper East 5 years ago
Modern medical science has halted evolution and allowed idiots to survive long enough to pass their genes on and upset the natural balance. We're over run with idiots! So now Mother Nature has introduced this virus in an attempt to restore that balance. But as usual, she hasn't got a chance. No one dies of AIDS anymore, soon, no one will will be dying of COVID-19. But eventually, the human race will be so saturated with idiots, medical science will fail, the human race will become extinct, and raccoons will evolve and take over.
averageperson 5 years ago
Ok, I'm American, but just because you live in Russia doesn't mean you're dishonest. Their government might be, but the average Russian citizen has no control over their government and is therefore not responsible for what their government says.
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Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
...maybe they're using the latter 1980s definition of the word 'fresh', commonly used by East Coast urban dwellers (within hip-hop subculture), to describe something valuable...
Load More Replies... Pauline Bennett 5 years ago
Some were very funny. Some were very stupid. Some dangerous. i have a couple I think are funny. Now they're saying that if you survived the Corona virus the Government wants my plasma. No way nobody gonna take my T.V. A mask is not a political statement its an I.Q. test. O.K. i will shut up for now. (love this site)
Amie Redman 4 years ago
Pauline you made my day. The TV thing made me Chuckle. Haven’t seen that one! Have a great day!
Load More Replies... Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
Will the future of education address the glaring shortfalls in people's conclusions when processing information? Like, will history classes include focus on the plagues and pre-germ theory, biology touch upon viral cell structure, chemistry the molecular composition of soap and its effectiveness in breaking down germ walls, math to explain exponentiation and data interpretation, sociology classes to explain "co-morbidity" and how to interpret studies, philosophy to identify logical fallacies and how to think critically, etc.?
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
I expect in some places they will, in others they won't. It will be interesting to see the degree science is adopted and accepted. Eg. Texas vs New York
Load More Replies... scorpesh 5 years ago
well, if worrying about corona is a "joke" then this pandemic proverb : "wear a mask a day keeps the corona away"which is not an identical twin to "eat an apple a day keeps the doctor away"is definitely not a joke. (P.S no one gives a damn if one eats an apple or not,but if doesn't wear a mask in name of standard health concern then one can't help but forced to be worried/concerned.
Shopper East 5 years ago
Modern medical science has halted evolution and allowed idiots to survive long enough to pass their genes on and upset the natural balance. We're over run with idiots! So now Mother Nature has introduced this virus in an attempt to restore that balance. But as usual, she hasn't got a chance. No one dies of AIDS anymore, soon, no one will will be dying of COVID-19. But eventually, the human race will be so saturated with idiots, medical science will fail, the human race will become extinct, and raccoons will evolve and take over.
averageperson 5 years ago
Ok, I'm American, but just because you live in Russia doesn't mean you're dishonest. Their government might be, but the average Russian citizen has no control over their government and is therefore not responsible for what their government says.
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