Working in customer service has its ups and downs. Said no one ever. These jobs test the very limits of how much customer complaints can a person take with a smile on their face, and what better way to get through it than turn to reddit and relate to the people that are tortured the same way.
Sure, there are many kinds of customers - from the A-listers of the category who seem to be very understanding of your position, to those rude people who disregard you as a human being at all. And meeting hundreds of people a day and hearing all the silly questions sure makes for great stories, even if not all of them are pleasant.
Laughing from their misery, retail employees are sharing the dumbest thing they've heard a customer say, and you couldn't make these things up. From trying to get a better deal to asking for instructions and funny conversations or just plain stupid questions, Bored Panda has collected the most random things that came out from customers' mouths. Scroll down to read them and upvote your favorites and don't forget that behind good customer service, there's always a tortured soul.
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I work at walmart stocking shelves in the grocery department. During one busy day a woman came up to me with a crying kid, probably about 5 years old, and said (exact quote) "my kid is pissing me off, watch him for me while I go get some things."
I told her that it wasn't my job to watch her kid and that I had to go in back and do things and he couldn't come with me anyway, so then she told me she was going to walk away and leave her kid there and if anything happened to him it would be my fault. So I told her if she did that I was going to take her kid to customer service and tell them he was lost and have them page her until she came back.
She started to walk away anyway so I took her kids hand and started to bring him to customer service and then all of a sudden she yelled "WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH MY SON" and I froze, but fortunately a bunch of customers had overheard the whole conversation and explained what had happened to my manager who kicked her out of the store.
"My laptop won't turn on!"
"Did you plug it in and charge the battery?"
"NO! This is a laptop! It doesn't need to be plugged in!"
"Ma'am, the battery still needs to be charg..."
"LISTEN! This is a laptop!"
I used to work as a photographer in a studio next to an opticians office. I once managed to have a long conversation with a older man looking for glasses, without either of us realizing he was in the wrong place.
Him: "Hi, I'm Mr McFakenamington, here for my appointment"
Me: "Huh, that's odd... I don't see you on our schedule. I have time for a walk-in though, just fill in this paperwork"
We have a little chat about possible clerical errors that could lead to a missing appointment as he's filling in his paper. I chalk it up to human error and tell him we can get started in a few minutes anyway.
Him (after a brief silence): "So about how long to these appointments take?"
Me: "Well, generally it takes 1 to 2 hours for the whole process. Really depends on the person"
Him: "Wow, thats a long time..."
Me: "Well, if it's just you it shouldn't take so long. The long appointments tend to be families with children. The most time consuming thing is picking out the ones you like."
Him: "And after I've chosen, do you make them here? When can I pick them up?"
Me: "We send out your order to our lab and it comes back here in a week or two"
Him (looking around): "Do you have frames I can look at?"
Me: "Not really. We've got some pre-framed products but generally customers buy their own frames from somewhere else"
Him: "That's ridiculous! How could you not sell frames here?!"
Me: "Well... there are some in (adjacent department store) if you don't have any around the house. Frames are really not so hard to come by. I mean, you can even get them at (nearby pharmacy)"
Him: "But you'd at least set up the frames for me, right?"
Me: "Sorry, no.. but for most frames it's pretty straightforward. Usually it's just a couple simple latches in the back? I can't imagine I'd be better at it than you, or anyone else for that matter."
Him: "I don't even get to try anything on today? How will I know how it looks? How do you get the size right for the frames if I don't have them?"
Me: "I'm sorry sir, I really don't follow"
Him (practically yelling): "So you just want me to buy glasses i've never seen for frames I don't have, and I have to frame them myself?!!!"
At this point it dawns on me. I explain that I'm a photographer, point to the photos hanging up around the studio. I tell him that optical is next door. He looks sheepish, and I walk out with him to make sure he gets to the right place.
This entire conversation occurred while I was under a sign that said "Portrait Studio", in a room filled with photos of families. I guess the poor guy really needed those glasses.
In high school I worked at a local hardware store. We also refilled propane tanks for gas grills. After a summer or two of doing ten or more tanks a day you get good at guestimating how full a tank is just by picking it up. one particularly hot day a customer comes in and sets his tank down next to me and asks for a fill up. I pick up the tank and inform him that the tank is full and does not need a fill up. He looks pretty agitated already with this short exchange and says that he checked that it was empty and would I just fill it up. To this, I inquired how he checked. There are several ways to check, one being by the weight of the tank, another is the thermal strip on the side (which his tank did not have) the other is to pour hot water down the side and feel where it gets cold. His reply assured me that this was one blithering idiot lucky to be alive. He said he checked it by holding his cigarette lighter in front of the valve and opening it. To this I replied: " You ought to write to your congressman and representative because they saved your life today. This tank has an OPD safety valve on it that prevents the gas from coming out without anything attached." He walked out without another word and with a very red face.
The ice dispenser broke at the fast food joint I used to work at. As a temporary fix while we waited for the repair guy to come take a look at it, we set out a giant serving bowl full of ice with tongs, so people could still ice their drinks. About 10 minutes after putting out the ice bowl, a customer comes up to me to complain that the machine isn't dispensing ice.
I tell him, "We know. A repair guy was called, but he's not here yet. In the meantime, there's a bowl next to the soda fountain, so you can still get ice."
The guy immediately gets an attitude about it. "How do I know that ice hasn't been sitting out there all day?"
I stare at him for a good few seconds before saying, "Because it's still solid."
"..."
"If left out at room temperature 'old ice' would just be water."
"I want to speak with your manager.
I worked as a lifeguard at a public pool last summer.
We had a strict ‘No water-wings” policy. Those little f**kers are death traps. So this woman is putting water wings on her kid next to the pool, and I politely inform her that we do not allow water wings, and have life vests available for free literally 5 feet from where she’s standing. She becomes so infuriated that I would “dare to dictate how she treats her child” and tons of other shit. So I call my supervisor over, and as he arrives and is speaking to her, the kid jumps in the pool.
Water wings slip up his arms, and he’s suspended underwater. Jump in and pull him out. Woman is furious that I would “have the nerve to touch her child. How dare I?!”
I used to work in a call centre. When a customer called to place an order from the catalog we would have to offer them cross sells that appeared on our screen. Say for example someone ordered a stapler, we would offer them staples to go with it.
This took place back when computer inkjet printers were fairly new. They didn’t have wireless network capabilities nor did they have SD card readers built in. It was also before tablets came out.
A woman called to place an order and the conversation went like this
Her: Hi. I’d like to order item #XXXXXXXX
Me: ok. That would be an HP printer (offering cross sell) would you also like to add the printer cable as it’s not included.
Her: Why would I need a cable?
Me: to connect to your computer
Her: oh honey, I don’t have a computer I just want to print some stuff
Me: umm. You need a computer in order to print stuff
Her: no. My son knows a lot about computers and you are wrong.
After spending 5 minutes explaining how she can’t print without a computer she continued to place the order and the call ended. I wrote careful notes in the log and explained it all. I wrote down the order number as I knew she’d call back to return it.
Sure enough about 3 weeks later I checked and she had called to return it. In the notes the person who handled the return said that the person she ordered it from said nothing about needing a computer to work the printer. I didn’t get in trouble cause my notes had been in the system saving my ass.
Customer: Can I get a Big Mac, a poutine, and a large coffee double double.
Me: Alright, so I will make that a meal for you so it’s cheaper.
Customer: I don’t want a meal. I want a BIG MAC, A POUTINE, AND A LARGE DOUBLE DOUBLE. THAT’S IT. NO MEAL.
Me: Ma’am.. those three items together are a meal. I can charge you separately for more money if you want but a meal is cheaper.
Customer: huffs I said no meal. Let me pay. proceeds to pay $3-$4 extra just because she doesn’t want a meal
I don’t understand customers sometimes.
When I used to waitress I once had a customer complain I put too much ice in her glass of water because it would water down the flavor...I didn't even know how to respond to that.
"Just sprinkle some salt and pepper or pour down some mustard and ketchup in there so the water doesn't become less tasty."
"Your total comes to $32.23"
"I only have $20."
"...."
"Can I still have it?"
"....no."
Worked at EB Games when I was 18, in a city in Canada known for its red necks.
A man in his 40s came in and spent at least 3 hours browsing every single title on the wall. He refused my help several times and eventually came up to the counter with 5 brand new games on almost every system we carried. After ringing in his selection of Cabela’s hunting, Nascar racing and UFC fighting he paid and left.
Several hours later the man returns! He throws open the front door (it was a stand alone store) and yells “What kind of sh*t show are you running here?!” He is red in the face and stomps towards me and throws his bag of games onto the counter.
“NONE OF THESE WORK. THIS IS A SH*T STORE. WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS… (man rants and yells at me for a minute or so before he decides to take a breath).”
I asked him, “you tried the games in your Xbox, PC and Playstation and NONE of them worked?”
His reply “I just got that new player from Wal-Mart THIS AFTERNOON and NONE OF THESE GAMES WORK!!” Of course, he doesn’t know the name of ‘the disc player’ that he bought was. After several painful minutes and him showing me the Wal-Mart receipt out of his pocket…
…he bought a DVD player.
"I don't care..... If you're selling game CDs, they must work on DVD players too. Like that other woman could open a laptop from its hinge side and like the other woman charged her internet the other day. We're customers, we don't know anything and expect everything to work as we want."
I once had a customer bring back a laptop she bought the day before claiming it was broken. She said it wouldn’t open, I asked her if it was windows not loading up or a program not opening, she said the laptop itself wouldn’t physically open. I took it out of the box, opened it up and just looked at her. Her mouth fell open, she looked at me and said “Oh, it opens that side! Me and my sister tried for an hour to open it up last night and couldn’t” She had been trying to open it from the hinge side…
"How many slices are in a large pizza?"
"Eight."
"What about a medium?"
"Eight."
"Okay, wiseguy, how many slices in a small?"
"Eight."
"How can a large and a small have the same number of slices?"
"Because we cut them all the same number of times."
"Bullshit, that doesn't make sense. Let me talk to your manager!"
I called the manager over and he has the exact same conversation with the customer.
This has happened several times. How is it so hard to understand?
I have been a waiter for years but by far the stupidest thing I've ever had happen to me at work happened when I was just starting out. I was waiting on a family of four and they all ordered Ice waters. I brought them their drinks and then a few minutes later the mom waves me over. She says " The out side of my glass is wet" I stare at it and see the beads of condensation on the outside of the glass. " Yeah it's called condensation, its what happens when you have Ice water in a room temperature glass" she stares at me like I'm a f**king alien, and then I realize that this was my future as a waiter, dealing with f**king idiots. I took her drink and wiped it off with a towel and handed it back to her.
Back in college, I worked over the summer for a tour bus company in Washington, DC. While driving past the Washington Monument, a woman asked me “How do they get all the flags to fly in the same direction?”
I worked in call centers for a brief moment and you get connected with some very weird people.
Me : "OK are there any lights on the modem?"
Cx : "no its unplugged. I unplugged it because I didn't like the lights
Me : "oh... Well the modem needs to be plugged in to work"
Cx : "I don't want to get out of bed, can't you send the signal from your end?"
Me : "...no, it's physically disconnected, you need to plug it in. I'm just on the phone with you"
Cx : "I don't get why you're giving me the run around"
How do you politely tell someone, that they're to dumb for the internet anyway ?
Not mine, but a friend told this story in college, and it always amused me.
She worked in a camera store, and this was the early 90's, so pre-digital camera era. This woman comes in, wanting to get some photos developed. She hands my friend the whole camera (not unusual; apparently a lot of people didn't know how to get the film out after they were done with a roll, so this part wasn't uncommon). My friend examines the camera, and:
My friend: um... Ma'am, there's no film in here. Woman: That's okay, I still took the pictures. My friend: But there's no film in the camera.
Woman: I know, but I took the pictures anyway, so please get them out. My friend: But... You would have to have had film in the camera first... Woman: it doesn't matter, I pressed the button. There are pictures in there. Please get them out.
And so on, for quite some time. It ended with the woman storming off, convinced my friend was incompetent.
'Would you like some jalapeños with your nachos?' 'No, I'm massively allergic. I could die.' 'Oh, then you shouldn't have any of this then, the cheese and salsa dips you asked for both contain jalapeños' 'Oh; don't worry. I'm not actually allergic. Just not a fan'.
You f***ing thundering bag of d**ks, I wasn't going to force them down your throat. Say 'no thanks' and we're done.
I used to work at a store in a small midwestern town that sold, among other things, jumbo jelly beans. One day, I received the following phone call:
Customer: Hi, this is Habner Whozizfuck and I was just in there the other day. I bought a pound of the black licorice jelly beans and I think there's something wrong with them.
Me: Why do you think that?
Customer: I put it in my mouth and it just... It just sat there.
Me: What do you mean sir?
Customer: Well, I just put it in my mouth and I had it in my mouth and it just STAYED there. It used to be I'd pop one in my mouth and after a few minutes it would go away.
Me: Do you mean it would disappear?
Customer: No, I mean it would just... It would melt away in my spittle.
Me: Sir, it sounds more like you were eating a hard candy to me. Jelly beans are kind of chewy and they'd probably take a good long while to dissolve in your mouth.
Customer: Well, I guess I don't know what to do. I got a pound of these jelly beans and I don't know what to do with them.
Me: I would suggest chewing them, sir.
Customer: Oh, okay! I'll try that! Thanks!!!
Cellphone store right before the dawn of the smartphone
Customer: "I need my information off my old phone."
Me: "Okay where is it?"
Customer: "At the bottom of a lake."
Used to do tech support for Verizon and a lady called in yelling at me for shutting down her wifi.
Asked for her account info - she doesn't have an account.
Asked her why she called us then and she described the screen that shows up when you don't pay your bill.
She continued to adamantly claim she has no Verizon account and it is illegal for us to shut down her wifi because we don't own the air.
Finally helped her log into her router to get some info and pulled up an account with a different name on it.
She recognizes that name as her neighbor.
Spent the next while trying to get her to understand that she'd been using her neighbor's connection but the neighbor didn't pay the bill so there was nothing I could do. (probably not supposed to discuss the neighbor's billing issue without permission but I'd already told her that screen was from unpaid bills before we figured out it was her neighbor)
Don't think I ever got her to stop telling me I was violating her rights by not allowing her to use the WiFi in her own home...
That call happened to be randomly recorded for QA... My manager, entire team, and multiple training classes thereafter got a good laugh out of it...
Worked at a gas station. I watched a customer pull up, whip her door open and slam it against the large, shiny silver pole that protects cars form running into gas pumps. She then proceeds to furiously get out, scream with her head facing the heavens, and run into the gas station telling me I need to be more careful where I place those.
The thing has been cemented into the f***ing ground for over twenty years.
I once had a customer service rep call me to the front of the store because a couple were screaming at her, saying that I sold them the wrong game for their console.
I went up to the front, and they shifted their screaming back and forth between the two of us, but it was mainly directed at me, because I was apparently a greedy salesperson who purposely sold them a game that was incompatible with the Nintendo DS (that I had also sold them) just so I could roll around in my filthy lucre while cackling away at their misfortune.
Anyway, in between the yelling, I managed to glean from them that their issue was that the game cartridge wouldn’t actually fit into the console. So I picked up the game cartridge and slid it into the machine with no problems. They both shut up and stared at it for a second. The wife began to yell at me again (something about tricking them and making them look bad) while the husband shushed her and apologized. He explained that they had gone home and handed the whole lot to their 4-year-old to figure out, but their 4-year-old kept trying to put the cartridge in backwards.
Apparently it never occurred to them to look into the matter themselves, as their toddler had things well in hand, and the obvious conclusion was that I had sold them the wrong thing. On purpose.
I used to work in a store that sold stuff for getting organized and we carried step ladders for people who might be putting stuff up on high shelves. We had two different models which were completely identical except one had two steps, and the other had three steps. And the larger one cost like $5 mor
One night the store was completely dead when this guy walks in and asks if we have step ladders, so I show him the two choices. He asks all these questions about which one I think is better and whether I recommend one or the other and a bunch of other inane stuff and all I can tell him is that the ONLY difference is the extra step and about $5 in price. So the guy says, "Ok let me think about it for a minute." So I leave him to it.
He ponders this life-altering choice for an hour. He calls his wife to discuss it four times. After endless hemming and hawing he ends up not buying either one, and leaves us with the parting words, "I don't know. I think three steps may just be a little too much ladder for me."
I honestly don't know how someone that indecisive even manages to dress himself in the morning.
Hello, how may I help you today? .^
Yes I would like a phone charger.
No problem, what type of phone?
I just need a charger.
Yes but I would need to know the type of phone so I can give you the right charger.
I don't know.
......would you happen to have it with you so I may take a look.
No.
Ok no problem, is it by any chance an iPhone? Big circle button on the bottom.
Idk. Listen can you just give me a phone charger.
.-. Ok, gave her a random charger. May the odds be ever in your favor.
When the dipshit brings it back because it won't fit, sell him a phone to go with it :)
Was told it was a gluten ALLERGY. So we have to like shut the kitchen down. For dessert she orders the chocolate cake. "Ive been good on my diet, don't judge me! " also I SAID NO TOMATO IM DEATHLY ALLERGIC! we apologize, remake. She smothers it in f***in ketchup. Also "i can't have the grape pop. (The flavor no one ever wanted) Im allergic to artificial grape" i get a cool super sour candy spray. She wants it. Im like "oh, sorry its grape" "that's ok! Its sour so it doesn't count!" Smdh stop faking allergies!
“Thank you for calling Starbucks, this is Jeff. How can I help you?”
“Yes, where are you located?”
“We’re at the corner of Main and Magnolia.”
“And where is that.”
“Do you know where Main Street is?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know where Magnolia Avenue is?”
“Yes.”
“That’s where we are.”
“Well I’m standing at that intersection and I can’t find your store. Is it underground or something?”
[looks out the window and sees a woman who looks lost]
“Ma’am, turn to your left. Do you see a man in a green apron waving at you?” [begins waving at her]
“Yes.”
“That man is inside a Starbucks. Go there.”
“That’s not Starbucks. That’s Quizno’s.”
“Ma’am, I’m very confident I’m in a Starbucks right now.”
“You’re not very helpful”
Frequent phone call to store: "HOW DO I GET TO YOUR STORE, I'M NOT FROM HERE AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM, WHY DON'T YOU KNOW WHERE I AM?!?"
"Man, ya'll don't know how to treat customers. It's why you all losing money. I'm going to Lowe's."
From a customer yelling at customer service, in a Lowe's.
When working at Wal-Mart electronics around 8 years ago, I dealt with a sudden torrent of people returning wireless products.
They were furious that these devices needed to be plugged in to charge. I had customers insisting that the other employees said their phone/keyboard/controller/etc. would "absorb electricity" from sockets as they walked around the house.
We had to put up "wireless devices do not charge wirelessly" signs around the entire department.
A pleasant lady walked into the bike store I work at and asked us to help take her daughter's bike out of the car to find out why it wasn't riding as well as it had been when she got it. I stride over to her minivan and lug out a beautiful, spotless blue Bianchi. Looked like it had been ridden maybe twice.
Brakes were snappy, shifting was crisp, chain had zero rust and zero stretch. The bike was basically good as new.
Except the tires were empty. I asked her when her daughter filled them last.
"You have to fill them?"
I worked at a Stop and Shop in the produce department part time for a few years. There was a kid in there named Bobby who sold drugs but had a really good sense of humor.
One day we get a call from a customer saying she found a spider in her grapes. He handles it properly and explains that sometimes bugs do come in on the fruit and that he was sorry that happened. She however says that she's bringing it in so we can test whether it's poisonous or not. Problem is, we don't do that. It's a bug. Kill it.
She comes in 45 minutes later with this spider in a tupperware container and starts asking me what we're going to do with it. As I'm backpedaling my way through the conversation Bobby walks up saying "OH YOU'RE THE SPIDER LADY!" He grabs the container and notes how big the spider is which freaks her out a little bit. She asks him what we are going to do with it and with the most serious tone on he just says "Probably going to shake him up and see if he'll fight the other ones we have out back." Then he just walks away. Lady went apeshit on me. I lol'd.
Not sure what the "selling drugs" part had to do with the rest of the story...
"I'm allergic to gluten. I want you to point out all of the candy in your candy shop that is gluten free." I do as requested. She buys a shit ton of licorice. me: "Um, ma'am, that licorice contains gluten." "Oh, a little bit won't hurt me."
I worked at a helpdesk…one time a lady called in complaining she “charged her internet all night, and now it won’t work once she unplugged it from the modem”…
Customer: "$11.50?!? The deal says any two footlong sandwiches for $12!"
Me: "Yes, but one of the sandwiches you got had a regular price of $5.50 so it was cheaper any--"
Customer: "Thats ridiculous!! I want to see a manager- actually forget it. I'm never coming back!"
Sure, let me re ring it up, so you get the special... that will be 12 bucks... *after they leave: throws 50 cents in the donation bin*
I can think of one from my time at working at Petco. A lady called saying that her labrador was throwing up blood, and “do you guys sell a pill that stops this?” I gave in to the undisciplined side of my head and irritatedly responded that if her child was throwing up blood she probably wouldn’t be going to Walgreens to find a drug for it, she’d be going to the doctor’s and she should probably do the same for her dog. That job scared me with the amount of people that were totally clueless on how to raise animals and yet had small children.
It's very scary who's allowed to raise animals and children. There really should be a test first.
C1: "I'm allergic to anchovies, so no anchovies on my Caesar salad."
-there's anchovies in our caesar dressing, what would you like instead?
C1: No there's not, I had it last week and I didn't taste them.
I grind anchovies into that dressing Every. Single. Day.
Yesterday while I was helping out in Best Buy, a woman approached me with a pink plastic phone case asking how many txt messages it could store in an inbox....
I said she needed to have a cell phone for that. She clearly did not understand.
After about 10 minutes of trying to explain that the case was solely for style/protective purposes, I sent her over to the phone department and let them deal with her for the next HOUR.
I used to work at Red Lobster. A lady asked me for suggestions on something healthy. I suggested grilled salmon. She promptly turned down the idea, saying she heard it was full of fat. She then ordered a fried seafood platter with double butter and sour cream for her baked potato and double ranch dressing for her salad.
Working in Hotels I have meet quite a few dim bulbs.
One night a woman stormed into the lobby screaming about how our parking garage did not have enough clearance for her jacked up hummer. I explained that there is uncovered parking across the street, and if her Hummer did not fit in the garage, she could park there. She got irate about how it was unsafe and demanded I (this is a direct quote) “Go outside and raise the parking structure with a stick or something”. I politely explained that was physically impossible for me to do, and she said “Well, then you shouldn’t be working with people!”
Worked in a scooter repair shop. This customer was well known for being beyond stupid, every time we saw them.
This time, she had lost her keys. She had us pick up the scooter, cut her a new key, and came in to pick it up.
Walks in, pays, goes outside to drive home. Walks back inside.
Customer: “um, when I dropped my bike off, there were like.. a lot more keys on here..” holds up key ring
Coworker: “you had us pick up you scooter... because you lost. Your. Keys.”
Customer: eyes go wide after several seconds of confusion “oooohhhhhh thaaatsriiiigghht......!!”
we all stare at each other as she leaves, wondering how she functions in society
I worked geek squad once and a customer told me his ipod gave his jeep a virus and that’s why he was having engine trouble now.
I made lentil soup for the kitchen I worked in as a teen, but I put the carrots in later than I should have and so they still had a slight crunch when the first customer bought a cup. He stormed back in after a few minutes and demanded his money back because he was going to get food poisoning from eating an uncooked carrot.
I used to work at a book store. You'd be surprised how many people came in and asked us to help them find a book that they knew nothing about. We're pretty good at figuring out what people need, but when they don't know the author, title, or anything about the book, it's pretty much impossible. My favorite ones were people who insisted we should be able to find a book because "I told you! The cover is red!"
I worked at Borders Books and a lady at the info desk asked where are our BBQ's. When I told her we don't carry BBQ's she got very angry and said, "well you carry books on them, right? Why wouldn't you have them in stock?" I replied, "We have books on nuclear weapons but I don't keep those in stock either." I was written up later that day. B*tch...
Worked at Burger King, had a really busy rush, line all the way to the door. This guy comes in and gets in line, real shitty look on his face. He waits in line for about 5-10 minutes (anger building), gets up to my register and screams while waving a Taco Bell bag at me " You forgot my sour cream"
I was dumbfounded at how the guy could have waited in line, with all the pictures of burgers every where, and the completely different color scheme. So I told him I would go get my manager (she was a real old and crankier kind of lady, rough around the edges.)
As I come back I can see the guy has this odd look on his face, like its starting to sink in, my manager comes up and I tell her " We forgot the sour cream for his tacos". She looks at me, rolls her eyes harder than I have ever seen anyone roll their eyes, and turns around and walks back to her office.
The guy looks at me, he is starting to look nervous, his brain knows something is wrong.. I point out the window, he looks out the window, sees the Taco Bell next door. He was out the front door fast, bright red, not a word.
A woman came into my restaurant clearly looking for her friends who were already sitting down.
The restaurant is small, and you can see every seat from the front door. I hand her a menu, and say: "Go ahead and take a look for them - they've gotta be here somewhere."
She looks at me, then down at the menu she holds in her hands with what can only be described as a look of both fear and confusion. I ask her if there's anything the matter, to which she responds: "How do you have a map of where everyone is sitting???"
She thought we live-printed maps every time someone new came through the doors.
Bonus: She, later that same night, asked me what duck was.
"I have a coupon for a free sandwich, but I don't know where it is."
"So....you don't have a coupon?"
"No, I SAID that I have a coupon but. I. don't. know. where. it. is!!!!!!"
This argument lasted long enough to get the manager out of her office, in part because of how stupid it was.
When the Nintendo DS was released with the Brain Training games we had several middle aged and older customers come in to buy the game but didn't own the Nintendo DS "No I don't want the Nintendo thing I just want the game." I started asking "What colour DS do you have?" to find out
After confirming she didn't own a DS, one lady told me "I used to work in sales, I know you're trying to upsell, it's not going to work."
Most of the time they thought they could put it in their computer somewhere or ask their children for help.
I work at the Philadelphia Zoo. One day I was carrying a chicken to the exercise yard. A man was eagerly following me waiting to see what animal I had inside the carrier.
The chicken was reluctant to leave her carrier at first, and when she finally exited the carrier I said, “Good bird”. Then the man asked me, “Why are you calling it a bird if it’s a chicken?” I didn’t know how to respond without making him sound like a moron.
Worked at chick fil a, and a customer pointed to our lemonade dispenser. On it, it says “lemon, sugar, water.” The customer asks for a lemon, sugar, water drink. I repeat back “a lemonade?” His reply: “no, the lemon sugar water drink.”
Oh... call centers. Two of my favs so far: 1) Customer: I'm not giving you my date of birth, you could be anyone! Me: *patiently explains Data Protection requirements*. Customer: *Screams DOB at me*. Me: *gives customer the information I called to give him, all of it private and confidential*. Customer: Now how are you gonna guarantee to me that you won't sell my DOB? Me: *Dies inside with the desire to say 'Scout's honour'. 2) Customer: *shouting as the tv blares in the background* I can't hear you the tv is too loud! Me: *repeats what I said*. Customer: I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TV!!! Me: *reaches through phone, rips tv cable out of the wall and strangles customer with it* can you hear me now?
One of my favorite ones while working at a small grocery store; On saturday we always had a deal for customers to get 1 selected item for free with a coupon that came with the newspaper. Ofcourse if the product ran out, we would try to replace it with a similar-priced item. One day the original product ran out really fast, so we changed it to something else and a man came in at around 5pm, complaining to me about "not getting the free item", explained to him that we ran out early, and that we're giving something else in return. Continues ranting "AND SOME OF US HAVE WORK TILL 4.30!" Yes sir I understand but we can't change that, we ran out so we offer the other item." "I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR MANAGER! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!" Called the assistant manager, told her what's up, she goes to the guy, still ranting and says "Sir, either take the other free product or leave. We can't give something that we don't have in stock anymore."
Another fav; people returning things that we didn't even sell. A woman was complaining about some food that wasn't good and wanted her money back. Packaging showed brand name that we didn't even sell. "But your shop can take it back anyway right?" ... No. "Why not? .... I'm so happy I don't work retail anymore! :D
Load More Replies...Oh... call centers. Two of my favs so far: 1) Customer: I'm not giving you my date of birth, you could be anyone! Me: *patiently explains Data Protection requirements*. Customer: *Screams DOB at me*. Me: *gives customer the information I called to give him, all of it private and confidential*. Customer: Now how are you gonna guarantee to me that you won't sell my DOB? Me: *Dies inside with the desire to say 'Scout's honour'. 2) Customer: *shouting as the tv blares in the background* I can't hear you the tv is too loud! Me: *repeats what I said*. Customer: I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TV!!! Me: *reaches through phone, rips tv cable out of the wall and strangles customer with it* can you hear me now?
One of my favorite ones while working at a small grocery store; On saturday we always had a deal for customers to get 1 selected item for free with a coupon that came with the newspaper. Ofcourse if the product ran out, we would try to replace it with a similar-priced item. One day the original product ran out really fast, so we changed it to something else and a man came in at around 5pm, complaining to me about "not getting the free item", explained to him that we ran out early, and that we're giving something else in return. Continues ranting "AND SOME OF US HAVE WORK TILL 4.30!" Yes sir I understand but we can't change that, we ran out so we offer the other item." "I DEMAND TO SEE YOUR MANAGER! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!" Called the assistant manager, told her what's up, she goes to the guy, still ranting and says "Sir, either take the other free product or leave. We can't give something that we don't have in stock anymore."
Another fav; people returning things that we didn't even sell. A woman was complaining about some food that wasn't good and wanted her money back. Packaging showed brand name that we didn't even sell. "But your shop can take it back anyway right?" ... No. "Why not? .... I'm so happy I don't work retail anymore! :D
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