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“What’s The Darkest Secret You Found Out About A Family Member?”: 35 People Share Heavy Stories
The average person is hiding about 13 secrets at any given time, half of which they’ve never told to anyone. But sometimes secrets find their way into the light, especially when they affect an entire family.
One curious reddit user posed the question, “What's the darkest secret you found out about a family member/relative?” And many people responded with dark, disturbing and upsetting discoveries that have been made about their families. We’ve gathered some of the most interesting responses down below that might inspire you to start digging around your own family for secrets, but proceed with caution: you never know what you’re going to uncover.
Be sure to upvote the dark family secrets that you find most surprising, and feel free to share any juicy stories from your own family in the comments below. Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article on the same topic, you can find even more family secrets that would feel right at home in a soap opera script right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My great uncle is a rapist that prefers underage family members. I don’t know how many people actually know, but my grandparents certainly do along with his victims (my mom, aunt, and I know at least a few or their cousins but I’m not sure which).
But then he found Jesus again so we all have to forgive him and pretend nothing happened? It was before I was born but that’s the basic run around I’ve gotten from my grandparents, they don’t ever actually acknowledge it just that “Tony did bad things but he found God”. I eventually put two and two together about my mom’s history or sexual assault and her making sure that me and my female cousins were never left alone with him. And now that I’m in my 20s that duty has been passed down to me at every family gathering. It’s like an unspoken rule that you can’t say **why**, just the warning. Don’t leave your daughters alone with him.
I’m tired of it though. Tired of shooing little girls away and having to pretend like it’s normal. Scoping toddlers out of a predators arms and acting like everything’s fine and I’m just baby crazy. When this is all over, I’m not going to stay quite anymore. The next time I have to around him I’m taking children right back to their parents with the full f*****g story of why it’s dangerous. I’m tired of having to protect a rapist to keep peace.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
This makes me sick to my stomach... All the denail to protect an image... I've never met a pedophile that was "cured" and unfortunately I've met a few in my life. One I could get away from, the other, my uncle... not so much. He rap*d a female taxi driver and they all made it out to be her fault for taking in a drunk man and drive the shortest route to get him home... Until my mid 30s, that was what my father truly believed, until I told him that that sob had been sexually abusing me from age 2, maybe 3 until way in my teens whenever he got the chance and me, as a toddler didn't understand what was happening and as a teen couldn't tell my parents because they were both sick, and I couldn't tell my grandma because she would have protected me had she known, right??? Later it turned out I wasn't the only one he used but all kept quiet... Never will I advise anyone to "not tell" and never will I believe that finding religion means they are forgiven and to be trusted... Good for you to speak up, this needs to be known...
Celeste Grant 3 years ago
I'm sorry this happened to you, you didn't deserve what happened to you.
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KombatBunni 3 years ago
I’m sorry but he deserves nothing less than to be castrated with a blunt kitchen knife. I’ll even volunteer to do it. What a family
Enuya 3 years ago
I heard that putting lemon juice into a wound makes it heal better, I'm ready to help.
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deanna woods 3 years ago
It doesn't matter if he found God or not, the damage has already been done. He does not need to be around children.
ChickyChicky 3 years ago
If he were truly reformed, he wouldn't try to hide it and expect everyone else to hide it. "I did terrible things, I understand if no one wants to see me anymore, I won't come to family gatherings, I won't ever put myself in a situation where I would be alone with a child." We have to stop protecting abusers.
Jill Rhodry 3 years ago
But don't name names of the survivors, that part isn't your story to tell.
keighterz 3 years ago
He should have been in jail or dead a long time ago. Jesus doesn’t stand for pedophiles and rapists. Religion isn’t a magical cure for your issues.
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
If truly repentant, God will forgive. But forgiveness isn't a free pass. It doesn't erase what was done. If someone raped me, I hope I would find the peace and strength to forgive, but I would still testify against the rapist and move mountains to make sure it never happened to another.
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Katy McMouse 3 years ago
Blow his world up and don't apologize. He has to know why children are being kept from him, so it probably won't be a surprise to him when this happens. If there's grief given, so be it. This has to be done, no question about it.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
You're exactly right! If people don't like it that you're warning others about him to keep the children that may encounter him safe, then cut those toxic people out of your life, because they're willing to harm you and other children to protect a pedophile who has been harming innocent children for years and they are all disgusting pitiful excuses for human beings to let that happen.
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#2
My uncle tells the story that when he was a kid, his older brother wanted him to go out hunting with him in the woods near their house. They woke up really early, and started walking much deeper into the woods than they usually did, and way off the normal trails they used. My uncle realized his brother was letting him get further and further ahead. He stopped and turned around to see his brother starting to bring the shotgun up in his direction. He asked him what the hell was he doing, his brother said "Oh, I thought I saw something." My uncle decided to go back at that point. Later that week he went back and found a pit that someone had dug a bit further off the trail. He never went anywhere with his brother alone again.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
OP says on reddit that the uncle is her mother's uncle, so her great uncle. He says that his 'great' uncle was a narcissist who cheated on his young wife and used drugs, which took priority in his life and he overdosed when OP was a young child so he didn't know him well.
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#3
Here goes: My two remaining grandparents, my father's father and my mother's mother, married each other when they were 75. This made my mother and father step-brother and step-sister. Since the son of my father's sister (my aunt) is my cousin, and the son of my mother's brother (my uncle) is also my cousin, I became both cousins. I am, therefore, my own cousin. I'll never be alone...
Audrey Rasmussen 3 years ago
Im so confused how is there aunt their cousin and how are they their cousin and just... its weird
Load More Replies... Kevin Garren 3 years ago
This isn't a dark secret, it's not like anybody was actually related. And the parents being married before each of their parent married the other would trump anything, not like they were step siblings that grew up together and got together. But alright.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Ahh, so sweet they found eachother and didn't have to spend the rest of their lives alone <3
Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
THIS should be the sentiment! 2 single strangers met because their children fell in love! That is sweet!
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Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
"But Marge, if Grampa marries your mother we'll be brother and sister! And our kids will be horrible freak things with pink skin, no overbites, and five fingers on each hand!" *screams*
Who cares what I think, but... 3 years ago
Nothing to see here except two people that found love and companionship late in life.
Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
I know of a couple whose parents divorced amicably and remarried each other. So father married MiL, and Mother married FiL. Everybody lived happily ever after, interestingly enough.
#4
Not necessarily a family secret but a weird story nonetheless.
This happened around 2013 - Instagram wasn’t totally new but it was still a much smaller platform centered a lot around visual artists. Through Instagram - a friend of mine found a profile that was my goddamn doppelgänger. Like, this guy looked so much like me that I sent multiple photos of him to my mom and she was convinced it was me even after I told her. Now, for the purpose of the story I’ll just say I am incredibly unique looking. Dark brown hair, firey red beard, almost a full bodysuit of tattoos. Same for this guy. The brands of clothes I wore, even down to the gold and black RayBan Clubmasters. I am a professional Tattooer and he is a painter who owns an art gallery.
So - keeping with how the internet worked back then - we said hey and joked about meeting and occasionally would call or FaceTime the other to prove a drunken point.
Then, I got an opportunity to travel to NYC for work. This guy lived in NYC as well so we made plans to meet up! Bought plane tickets, made arrangements and even talked about how funny it would be to get a photo together.
Then we started talking about how funny it would be if we were long lost brothers and he goes “that’s entirely possible! My Dad was never in the picture - he was a traveling biker that hooked up with my mom one night.” Which was weird because my dad was a tattooer and notorious biker who traveled in the area he lived when he was growing up. I thought it was a long shot but I said “hey! Ask your mom if his name is James Jobin! Wouldn’t that be crazy if we are brothers?!”
He loled and agreed that would be funny - said he’d ask his mom the next morning before I got into town.
Then he blocked me on everything. Instagram, Facebook, Text. Absolute radio silence.
I’ve made other accounts to check up on him and see how he’s doing but I’ve never reached back out. The thought that I could have a brother is bittersweet for me - I wanna respect his right to have contact with me or not but it does break my heart a little every time I think about him.
Enuya 3 years ago
Probably it was all fun and laugh as long as it was a "joke" but when he realized that they're really related, it freaked him out. It's a lot to take after all. For author's sake I hope that one day they'll be ablw to reconnect, it seems that prior to revelation they had a good contact, shame to put it to rest.
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Littlemiss 3 years ago
My Dad once commented to a workmate that my Mom discovered through genealogy that the workmate was related to her, they were cousins. The workmate freaked out, he basically stopped talking to my Dad completely. Turned out his workmate was indeed related to my Mom. The guys mother had had a couple of children out if wedlock and gave them up, then married another man and had more children. The guy basically blamed my Dad for telling him. We found out the guy confronted his mother and the truth came out.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
You are actually being gaslighted for something that is out of your control, which is sad... Whatever happened, is neither yours nor his fault. He might have gotten an ultimatum, you can choose him or me, for now you'll never know. Maybe you'll get the answer somewhere in the future...
DEW 3 years ago
Could there be a chance that you are twins and split up at birth?? My thought on this is may be he was adopted out.May be it wasn't an ethical adoption? After mom got involved it was bye. Maybe mom has some explaining to do. I hope he will come around again. You deserve some answers.
Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
Ohhhh I bet your dad did something untoward. Perhaps he committed a crime so bad that the guy who looked just like you decided that the only thing to do was block you and never see the guy who did a bad thing. JUST A THEORY!!
Pomegrante Appleson 3 years ago
I bet he realized you actually WERE BROTHERS and it freaked him out
#5
A few years before he passed, my dad and I had a long heart to heart, at the end of which, he told me he wasn’t the one to first sleep with my mom on their honeymoon.
He caught her in bed with her cousin, with which she was had been in love for a long time.
He spoke with their pastor, who told him to forgive and forget.
That worked, until 6 years later, when he caught her again, with the same cousin. He told me he wanted to leave with me but ultimately decided to stay, because he wanted me to have a family.
With all that happened in my childhood, and to him (workaholic, diabetes, heart attack), I wish he’d left and be happy instead.
OhnoI’vebeencensored 3 years ago
I wonder if he was really the dad... the OP might have a few duplicate genes :-/
Mokayokok 3 years ago
I thought the same thing - you know OP is the Cousin's child.
Load More Replies... Enuya 3 years ago
One should NEVER stay in a bad marriage only for the children's sake. It's better to have happy and fulfilled divorced parents than ones who are miserable and depressed but staying together.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I agree. My parents divorced when us kids were between 17 and 7 and though my dad never met anyone else, it was still better for him than to stay with my mum who was unhappy. There were multiple separations (but still living in the same house) before that so we knew it wasn't a happy marriage. My mum remarried someone who is much more suited to her lifestyle and dad lives with me. I have family friends who we have know since one of the kids was about 3 and the other the mum was pregnant with. The mum has been unhappy for most of the time (kids now 21 and 18) but decided she didn't want to leave while the kids were in school (plus it was hard for her to feel she had enough money to leave because he controlled it and she only had what she could earn on her own). The kids have been pretty miserable for at least the last 10 years and their mum has been away from them for long hours trying to earn money for when she can leave. The youngest is sitting her final exams now so fingers crossed..
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der sebbl 3 years ago
You know what the mother needs? The fleas of a thousand camels should infest her armpits
john s 3 years ago
I don't know why this got downvoted - is it offensive? Sounds like a pretty good curse.
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E2U&U2 3 years ago
We want to think that leaving will somehow lead to a happier existence. If the world were fair, it probably would, but sometimes our delusions can be enough if we allow ourselves to not think about how things are. The family's daily routine, especially if the game is played by all, can pass for happiness. Especially for those too afraid to let go of what they have for the possibility of something better that may never come.
DEW 3 years ago
Not knowing how it would've been if he had left. You might not be the same person if he had left. You "sound" like a sweetheart. Your dad was part of your formative yrs. He has a child that he loves and turned out to be a really sweet person and who loves him! I think he's at least at peace with his choice..
#6
I found out that my grandfather’s first wife (before my grandma) died of botulism from eating some tomatoes she had canned at home. She could have been saved, but he refused to take her to the doctor because the botulism was her “fault.” He let her die to teach her a lesson.
Monday 3 years ago
Technically no, he isn't. It's not illegal to refuse to take a sick adult to a doctor unless they are disabled and formally in your care. It's shitty and his second wife should run for the hills, but it's not illegal.
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Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Teach her a lesson??? What the actual F was her thinking? Oh, yes, I know, he thought of it as a good way to get rid of her... I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I hope karma makes or made his end as miserable as possible...
MiriPanda 3 years ago
No one. I guess his 1st wife wasn't a loved one. Sad.
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SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
Let gramps die while suffocating or falling from his bed or something to "teach him a lesson" as well...
tuzdayschild 3 years ago
For sure he didn’t love her. You don’t do things like that to people you love.
VodkaInMySweetTea 3 years ago
I heard a woman today ask her husband if he'd seen her keys. He replied "Are you too stupid to remember where you put your keys?" This feels like that same energy left to fester 50 years into the marriage.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
This is so awful--how did you find out? Did he say it? Was he remorseful? Did he think she wouldn't die? Awful.
#7
My step-grandfather had a completely hidden life in Australia before he met my grandmother. He had a family and kids in Australia, and faked his death by driving his car off a cliff then moving to America. His kids thought he was dead until my grandmother found out about them and reached out years later. His son actually became a famous comedian over there, and from what I know has a joke he does at his shows about his father faking his death to disconnect from them.
Wini Wimms 3 years ago
I read up on it a bit because I was curious. He left the family and left a suicide note at home before he drove off the cliff. The wife suspected he was not dead. After 3 years, while presumably living/working in New Zealand and fathering two more children with another woman, he left them and went back to his wife, who took him back (for whatever reason). Less than a year later, he left his family again and returned to the US, where he was originally from. As a parting gift, he left an Air riffle to his son. now he is married to a rich woman in the US who is keeping him. For who is curious too: Greg Fleet is the sons name. He gave some pretty interesting interviews.
Monday 3 years ago
"who is keeping him". I'm picturing the guy with a collar around his neck, locked in a golden cage and served extravagant meals like some weird pet.
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Tree P 3 years ago
I feel your pain. I wish my Dads death was fake too. You have my sympathy.
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Claudia Calabrese 3 years ago
Awful. I had a wonderful dad and I find very sad to know that not everybody had my luck.
Bluebrains 3 years ago
My Grandmother did something pretty close! I had two uncles that I didn't know about. Since they were in the Philippines we haven't been able to get in contact before one of them unfortunately overdosed. Still sad I never got to meet him.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
There's a show on BritBox called "The Thief, His Wife and the Canoe" based on a true story about a guy doing just that. Only, he got caught. He & his wife both ended up going to prison. I felt sorry for her, though. He had bullied and manipulated her for their entire marriage and she was just such a doormat. I can't understand how a woman could do that to her children - it was several years before they got caught & everyone thought he was dead.
Appalachian Panda 3 years ago
New Zealand, back to Australia, then to the US, according to an article the son wrote for the Sydney Morning Herald.
Load More Replies... #8
My father used to secretly go to parks and highway rest stops to meet other men for anonymous sex.
Just in case you're wondering, he really hated gay people.
wifeofweasley 3 years ago
I don't think he hated gay people. He hated himself and projected his own self hatred onto other people.
Elaine Morinelli 3 years ago
This is so sad because he could not keep himself from wanting a man but his shame made him hate gay men. So intense self-loathing
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Those men really don't see themselves as gay, they don't even see themselves as bi-sex*al... This is the result of ages of targeting people who like to have s*x with both genders and being judged for it. Religion being the greatest enforcer on judging and reprimanding. Also the absolute need people seem to have to put a "label" on others has been bugging me for ages... Who should care? I am able to love both men and women, but the first doesn't make me a hetero and the second doesn't make me a lesbi*n, and both don't make me bi-sexu*l. It's just who I am. If people could accept that religion or other people's judgment about them has no weight on them, life would be less complicated. To just make sure no one misunderstands, there are limits to acting on your sexu*l impulses, those are amongst other things forcing children, misusing animals and the misuse of a corpse... There might be many more, but these are just the most common ones I can think of now.
Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago
Yes!!! I'm also getting tired of all of the labels.
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Ariadna 3 years ago
He didn’t hated, that was his show to hide he’s real feelings. But anonymous sex… What did your mom said
Xenon 3 years ago
For one, I'd be damned pissed if my husband exposed me to potential viruses and disease. Divorce material right there.
Load More Replies... Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
They usually do. I think it is some weird self hate that they project.
#9
My biological grandfather threatened to kill my grandmother while she was very young and pregnant with my uncle. (Long story short, he was engaged to someone else).
My grandmother became a nervous wreck while pregnant and wouldn’t leave the house and he used to throw bricks through the window. Eventually she told some of her friends about what he’d threatened to do to her. Shortly after that he went missing, never to be seen or heard from again.
We always kind of laughed and joked that one of her friends must have threatened him or ‘ran him out of town’. We would even go as far to say someone might have killed him for her.
It wasn’t until we were going through her boxes of photos and ‘love letters’ we realised she was actually friends with the Kray twins...
Jessica Cifelli 3 years ago
For those too lazy to google, Ronald Kray (24 October 1933 – 17 March 1995) and Reginald Kray (24 October 1933 – 1 October 2000), were identical twin brothers, gangsters and convicted criminals. They were the foremost perpetrators of organised crime in the East End of London, England, from the late 1950s to 1967. With their gang, known as the Firm, the Kray twins were involved in murder, armed robbery, arson, protection rackets, gambling and assaults
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
My youngest sister married a real scumbag. He was the type of guy who made you feel the pulse of your blood flow as your blood pressure reaches unhealthy levels. My mum and I were on the phone the day after something kicked off at my sister's home and we were both lamenting his existence, when I asked if it was bad to want to hire someone to beat him up (he was always getting into bar fights, so it wouldn't be an uncommon situation for him). My mum's reply was something along the lines of "it could be arranged", and my response was to laugh, like she was joking. Her response to my giggling was "you don't think I still know whom to call"? My response to that was "NO! You're my mum, not some gangster's girlfriend. You SHOULDN'T know any such thing!" She then proceeded to say that I had forgotten whom her uncle was and what he did and who her family knew through him (he was a bootlegger and speakeasy owner). So, yeah, then it seemed feasible, but she never mentioned it again.
R 3 years ago
My grandmother's father was an abusive alcoholic. One time he kicked her mother down the stairs while pregnant. One day he just disappeared. Grandmother's mother was with a family member and threw a gun in the canal. My grandmother was always adamant that were not to try and find him. The story was that he'd just taken off and was last seen on a bus heading out of town.
bleurchhh53 3 years ago
But...and given he was engaged to someone else and your grandmother was very young...if this was your biological grandfather, your grandmother must have had your mother or father to this same man before becoming pregnant with your uncle?? Because, if the grandfather 'disappeared' after your uncle, then how else would he be your biological grandfather, unless he fathered more than one child with your grandmother? Apologies if my pedantry is going entirely off the scale or I'm missing something... Cool story, tho'. The Krays def offed him, lol.
#10
Found out the hard way that my grandfather was a sexual predator. Turns out my grandmother had been in denial despite both my aunts, their friends, and young girls in their small town claiming he raped/molested them (one 16 year-old even got pregnant and *he paid for the abortion*). Grandma lied about his whereabouts/activities for years to protect him because if he went to jail she'd be unable to afford their house. So, long story short, me and my then 10 year old cousin were his latest and final victims. Thanks, Grandma.
Mokayokok 3 years ago
She should get some type of jail time since she was an accessory to the fact - the b***h needs throat punched - I do not care that she's elderly, she's a POS, period.
Seth 3 years ago
Lying about his activities and whereabouts to keep him out of jail absolutely makes her an accessory. She deserves zero leniency.
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Sammie 19 3 years ago
I posted my story on another comment about what my uncle did to me but neglected to mention that a couple of years later I found out that he had moved in with a single mom with an 8 year old daughter. I went over to talk to the mom and told her what he had done to me 2 years ago and she needed to keep her daughter safe. She and her daughter moved away a few months later. I've always wondered if something had already happened and she hadn't believed her daughter because he seemed like such a nice man as she put it.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
This is so disturbing and disgusting that she protected a predator over her own children and grandchildren, everyone and everything else besides her be dâmned... but the other family members that kept taking these innocent children around him, knowing who and what he was, are just as guilty too! OP and the 10 year old cousin would not have been mōlested if the other family members would have stayed away from him. All too often these families will keep the predator in their lives and they will keep preying on the younger family members, the cycle keeps repeating and growing. It's so painful for these victims, it's heartbreaking.
MyCatsTheRealPanda 3 years ago
This is disgustingly common. F**k a house to protect a piece of trash like that. Husband or not.
Kat Min 3 years ago
It makes me so fcking angry! Not just that these men exist, but that some women are financially so dependend on them that they protect and enable them, even feed them their own children. There is nothing more improtant for a woman than financial independence!!! today more than ever!
Tarryn Louise 3 years ago
A true sign of the times. Women just shut their mouths and pretended everything was fine. I was apart of this generation. I was physically abused and beaten right in front of my own mother multiple times and she never did anything to stop him. NEVER. She would usually just open her stupid crossword puzzle magazines or leave the room.
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
I like to believe there is a special place in hell for pedophiles and an even worse place for the adults who know what evil is being done and not doing anything to stop it, or worse, actively protecting the rapist. Certainly accessories to child rapists should get jailed along with the perp.
#11
My father tried to kill my mother while she was pregnant with me
The 3 Year Letterman 3 years ago
Yep. My step dad tried to beat my mom to death before I was born and before they were married… I still want to kill ‘‘em dead and I’m 13..
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RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
I had to look this up, and you are so sadly correct. I could only find statistics for this in the USA though. #1 homicide, #2 suicide, #3 drug overdose. But even removing the top 3, maternal mortality in the US far exceeds the rest of the developed world. And for minority women, you are 25 times more likely to die from maternity complications in the United States than in Portugal.
Load More Replies... Monday 3 years ago
Nope. They are still together 45 years later. Nothing happened, no consequences. He was apparently drunk at the time and chilled out significantly after his kids got older.
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Aunt Messy 3 years ago
Unfortunately, the leading cause of death during pregnancy for women in the US is murder by their spouse or SO.
Audra Sisler 3 years ago
My mom was pregnant with brother, I was 2, older brother 4 and oldest sister 6. Dude she was dating wanted it to be just the 2 of them and said he was going to kill us kids so she took a metal barbell bar to his head and we left😳
Tree P 3 years ago
Wow! Your Mom is hardcore! Glad she protected you and your siblings from that a*****e!
Load More Replies... Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
That's the lowest of the lowest. Happy to see her didn't succeed and hopefully your mum has found true happiness.
Maureen Stemmle 2 years ago
murder is the number one reason pregnant people die. not complications, murder.
#12
Not really dark at all, but surprising. My mild mannered Buddhist lawyer uncle was International Mr. Leather's "Leather Daddy's Boy of the Year" some time in the late 80s.
The 3 Year Letterman 3 years ago
TIL that “leather daddy” exists and sounds very wrong.
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Katy McMouse 3 years ago
Now I can see why people miss the eighties. Wonder what the prize was?
Appalachian Panda 3 years ago
It wasn't an 80s thing; it's still held every year (except for pandemic-related cancellations in '20 and '21).
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#13
Step father was cheating on mother. Didnt find out because he was caught cheating; found out because he and his mistress were drunk, got in a fight, and he punched her so hard that she fell over and died. Found out about the whole thing during the investigation, the trial, and the conviction. Was weird to have a lawyer want to call 12 year old me to a stand to defend the character of a man I already had very little interaction and a fear of, and that was before the manslaughter charge.
Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago
This doesn't really answer the question, but this is an answer OP gave when someone asked, with several other questions, why they had to even be involved: Well love and belief I guess interfered and she wanted to believe he didn't have as much to do with it as he did. Went from lower middle class to struggling poor after that and never recovered. Positive note on this, my mom is fine now and I am too, and we have a wonderfully close relationship. Life just shits things out at ya, and you gotta keep going. What I learned from that experience was immeasurably rough at the realization of how cruel existence can be, but my mom and I are each others biggest fans and even in the worst of times, we can pick each other up.
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That nerd Zoe ️🇺🇦️ 3 years ago
There's more, from OP, here are the highlights: they went from lower middle class to poor and struggling, their stepdad was the primary breadwinner but lost his business when he went to jail. OP is doing better now with a business and said they want to help their mom and have a good life for both of them someday.
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
Lawyer was an idiot. If I was on the jury, it would not matter how wonderful the child said the father was, I would think about how the pos dad was cheating on his wife and child, so had no character to defend.
#14
That my grandfather murdered his own brother to inherit his money
Rachel Smith 3 years ago
Well it doesn't say "attempted to murder" it says "my grandfather murdered his brother". I'm guessing that it worked
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Léopoldine Mineo 3 years ago
In French law there is ungratefulness. If you attempted to the life of someone who allowed you to make you richer than you were, the action allowing this us cancelled. For example, you bought a property with the money gifted by your boyfriend and you murder him, the gift is cancelled. Brilliant !
Ramona Jackson 3 years ago
We have similar laws in the USA but they're fairly recent, maybe 20-30 years old.
Load More Replies... Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
For him it was all about the money, although I doubt he ever had the feeling it was enough.... poor brother :(
#15
Two years ago I found out that my Dad had a wife before my Mom and she died in a freak accident on their wedding night.
Ariadna 3 years ago
Poor dad… but wait, freak accident in his weading night??? What kind of accident…
Monday 3 years ago (edited)
Evidently the wife was a sleepwalker and she fell from somewhere (potentially a balcony though the reddit thread is a mess). The husband was suspected of having done something to her at first but her family stood up for him and confirmed she was a known sleepwalker. Essentially they went to bed and when he woke up she wasn't there, though he didn't realize what had happened until the police knocked on his door.
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hmmmmm.. seems a lil sus, but that's always where the finger gets pointed first. If innocent, this is insanely terrible .... I mean either way it would be but.... you know what I mean
der sebbl 3 years ago
Copied from an earlier answer Evidently the wife was a sleepwalker and she fell from somewhere (potentially a balcony though the reddit thread is a mess). The husband was suspected of having done something to her at first but her family stood up for him and confirmed she was a known sleepwalker. Essentially they went to bed and when he woke up she wasn't there, though he didn't realize what had happened until the police knocked on his door.
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Jasmine Hufflepuff Henderson 3 years ago
She was a known sleep walker and fell off the balcony. Her family defended the dad because they confirmed and knew she was a notorious sleep walker.
Load More Replies... #16
My great uncle told his wife that their son died right after being born and gave him up to the state because he had Down's Syndrome. They had twins, a boy and a girl, and he somehow hid it from the whole family for about 40 years. It was only found out when the family lawyer was dying and contacted the sister to tell her she has a living brother who lives in a home run by the state. I guess he had helped my great uncle with the whole thing and still felt terrible about it.
Also, for some added context, my great uncle was extremely wealthy. He could have easily paid for multiple caregivers to help his son and it wouldn't have effected his life at all.
BetterBitterButter 3 years ago
Imagine the mother (if alive) and siblings learning about him. The shock and betrayal!
Peggy McKeon 3 years ago
Once this was very common. My brother was born 1961 in a Catholic hospital in Southern California. The doctors would not bring him to my mother for three days. Just kept saying he would ruin her life. She insisted and took him home finally. My father's family never spoke to us again. I was 5 at the time. Odd thing was my mother never made a big deal about the in laws. When I was 18 she told me what happened. If just never noticed we never saw them again. Jokes on them. My brother was a lovely, special person and realty shaped the people we became.
Jill Rhodry 3 years ago
It's hard to understand now, but it wasn't common to raise a child with DS at home, majority were institionalised.
Jen 3 years ago
It was common and also suggested immediately after birth while the parents were still shocked and adjusting to the news that their child had Down syndrome and the list of possible serious health conditions that can go with that. This went on longer than a lot of people realise, well into the 1980s. Particularly with a "healthy" baby, it is sadly easy to understand why a father might think letting his wife think one baby died and sending him away was better, then she could focus on the healthy baby. It's a sad part of our history.
Load More Replies... Allison B 3 years ago
I mean I can understand a bit why the uncle put him in a care home, but he definitely shouldn't have lied! He should have talked to his wife first about what they wanted to do. He shouldn't have made a decision like that by himself!
I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago (edited)
It was less than a lifetime ago that women in Canada weren't allowed to go on birth control or make decisions like that without their husbands approval. Man of the house meant making all the decisions yourself (unless you were a decent person and included others in those decisions that affected them). Up until recently (and even still in some cases), wives were seen as children effectively. There are still some doctors who question a woman's choice for getting tubes tied with "but what about your husband? What will he think/want?"even if the woman isn't even in a relationship.
Load More Replies... wifeofweasley 3 years ago
That is so sad. I really hope the sister tried to reach out to her brother :(
La Kim Lesliee 3 years ago
That a man can make that decision for a mother. Disgusting laws that make women and children property.
Monday 3 years ago
There's a movie like this. The Memory Keeper's Daughter. A father sends his daughter with Downs to an institution and lies to his wife, saying only their son survived the birth.
Gemma Clark 2 years ago
Came here to say the same thing. The book is better though
Load More Replies... Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
That is surprising. Not the fact that they hid their kid with Down's Syndrome, but that they put him in a state-run home. In general, in the past, wealthy families put these kids in the care of private institutions, which are much more discrete. Putting your kid in a state institution means that there is a public record of it, and any halfway competent investigator can discover the secret.
#17
Found out my birth father was still alive and living in California after being told for years he had died in the Navy before I was born. Fast forward a couple of years and a Sister whome I was told had died at birth contacted me saying she had been adopted. Put all the pieces together and found out that my Grandparents, mother then 16 and uncle then 14 were stealing cars in Southern California and running them down to Tijuana. When the Feds started snooping the whole family ran for the border and made it as far as central America where my mother discovered she was pregnant with me. They then turned noth and made it to Zapata Texas where I was born. She gave me the name of her last boyfriend and told me he died in the Navy. Less than a year after I was born she gave birth to my half sister and gave her up fo adoption telling the family she was still born. My mother was a pathological lier all her life and I didn't find out until I joined the Navy at 17 and found my birth father was still alive. Also found out my Grandmother was a prostatute, madam, and arsonist as well but that is another story.
Sally Barry 3 years ago
Sounds a bit like the claims Bonnie made about her past on 'Mom' (tv show). Amazing what some people get away with and what we don't know about them.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
Oh my, you've got yourself some awful family there, but it also goes without saying that even though you share blood, you are your own person and can make up your own mind and decide how to live. Some people just get dealt shite cards, but it doesn't mean you can't leave the table ;) Go out and be the best you can be, I've got a feeling you're more then capable of doing that 😉 Good luck
#18
I recently found out that my grandmother committed suicide as a result of the sexual abuse she received from her grandfather as a child (aged 8-14). Apparently her mother and many of her relatives were compliant with it and would even send her to his house for week long visits where she would sleep in his bed.
Mokayokok 3 years ago
It is so f*****g hard to comprehend that a mother was compliant with such acts! How do you live with yourself?! Her mom should have killed herself and take the grandfather with her, not the grandmother.
Sophie 3 years ago
It happens far more often than we think, unfortunately
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Jonahs Mrs 3 years ago
I feel physically sick reading about all the hurt and betrayed children in this post How could these families keep offering up their children like this. I get that older generations didn't want scandal and would keep quiet, but to be an active enabler to a p@edofile is every kind of sick there is. They are exactly like the pos that view online images of children being @bu$Ed today.
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
this happened in my adopted moms family, he did actually do anythingsexual, but he got close to them dressed there shoulders and "watched them" he had the money and grandma had only girls, her only sons were a tiny baby and the older of the kids that was in the army, and away, so the older girls 16-18 got jobs but "he" need stuff done around his house that lived on the hill above them so they would have to go up there and "take care of him" clean and make food, or "feed" him cause he payed them more, eventually they all got out from under his thumb but still, it was messed up
#19
when i was a kid we went to my grandma’s house every sunday and all of my uncles and aunts would be there. one day i noticed that one of my uncles didn’t show up anymore so i asked my family where he is. they told me that he wouldn’t be able to visit anymore because he moved away. years later i found out that he raped and killed two women and they locked him up.
Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
Instead of being honest and saying he did bad things and he is in prison... lets keep up the impression this man was a good person. ( you don't need to go into details, but don't make him a decent person.)
Kristen Bagan 3 years ago
It's interesting tho because a lot of these are secrets that were kept and still endangered the family. I truly think this "white lie" is ok because the danger is no longer there and why would a child need to know these details? Just mo
Load More Replies... #20
My parents had a nasty divorce which was often accompanied by a lot of s**t-talking about each other. There was a lot of “well your mother blah blah blah” and “your dad is such and such”, most of which I would just ignore because it was incredibly immature and embarrassing, until one day my mom broke out the big guns. My siblings and I were just watching t.v in the living room one day and the conversation moved to my dad coming to town to visit, at which point my mom overheard. The mere mention of dad prompted this woman to stop whatever she was doing, come into the living room, and say something along the lines of: “talking about your dad again, huh? Did you know that he was *molested*”? My dad had never mentioned anything about it in the 18 years that I lived with him, which is understandable. To this day, I have no idea why my mom felt the need to blurt that out to the three of us, or why it is she thought that being the victim of sexual abuse was a stain on someone’s character, but it was a really weird way to find out something so deeply personal about my dad. TL;DR: My mom told my siblings and I that my dad was molested when he was little as a way to spite him.
Inga Paškevičiūtė 3 years ago
Imagine thinking that it's something to make your kids turn against their father. Still...both suck.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
Mom sounds like a very sad pathetic person. Being a victim of abuse is in no way a fault of the person that it happened to. If anything, it would make me feel more empathetic towards the person who was abused. Smh.
Audrey Rasmussen 3 years ago
How dare he not make the choice to do that, but seriously, how the heck would that make any sense, it makes her seem like she blames him, what did he do, exist?
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TheElderNom 3 years ago
It does make sense to share things about the other parent after a divorce when the kids are old enough to understand. But more to explain why it happened than to slander the other person. The main reason for my parents divorce was that my father was lazy, him and my mother also had very different interests, but the laziness really was the main factor. This I always knew. But when I was older I was also told that my father once hit my mother which didn't exactly help matters. In his defence it was one punch one time and he was very drunk. Not a good defence but he completely stopped drinking afterwards, not that he drank often before, but after he was 100% sober for twenty years before ge started drinking half a beer and one snaps for midsummer. I was worried about the beer and snaps, but it's almost been ten years since he started with that and it is still his yearly allowance of alkohol.
Sue User 3 years ago
I believe that not everyone has to totally abstain to recove from a drinking problem. So much of what we believe about alcoholism has been tainted by AA ( Alcoholics Anonymous ) , which has never been scientifically proven as a valid treatment method. The organization has repeatedly refused efforts to study their effectiveness.
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Bella V 3 years ago
Your mother sounds lovely /s. I went through a nasty divorce with my kid's dad and NEVER did I talk ill of him. For two reasons. #1 - that was their father. #2- they'd figure out his true character eventually and they did. Don't get me wrong he's a lot better now that he's hit mid life, but he still has his moments and they aren't fooled by him one bit. They love him and there's relationships but they know who took care of them and who didn't. No need to be nasty.
Widdershins66 3 years ago
My narcassist mother told me the very same thing whilst my dear father was on his deathbed!!! And to blow my mind, she said "and he enjoyed it!" Grrrrrrrrr b***h. I've never told my siblings. They don't need to know 💖
Jonahs Mrs 3 years ago
Yup, my mum was drunk, my dad was in the middle of a psychotic breakdown, our lounge was smashed up, I was doing all I could to keep my little sister safe upstairs in bed away from the situation while I was trying to get hold of an emergency dr at 3.30am and to have someone understand that yes although I was 15 no this wasn't a crank call when mum decided just to drop the fact my dad had been abused for years by his uncle into the whole mix cos I wasn't spinning enough plates in her opinion.
Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
Jesus. That’s the kind of thing you might selectively pull out to try to explain someone; not to condemn them.
Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 3 years ago
As if das were to be blamed for being a víctima of a nasty crime.
#21
My mom and dad decided to take in my 3 cousins because their mom got into a horrible car accident. Two girls and one boy. The girls were 6 and 10, the boy 12. Fast forward to when the 6 yr old girl is 14 years old and is asked about birth control. She starts sobbing saying her brother (the then 12 yr old) took her virginity when she was 6 and that it continued until she was about 13. We had no clue.
Mary Lou 3 years ago
Not defending him, but a child that age (!), acting out like that, is almost certain to have been a victim of abuse himself.
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Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
That "boy" committed rape as a teenager, but also as a legal adult. I hope the girl finds the strength to go to the police and file a complaint. Maybe there will be a case made, maybe there will not, but it will give her a voice she didn't have all those years in silent suffering...
Ada Hunter 3 years ago
oh gosh. my gf’s older brother molested her and her sister for years and years. it finally stopped but a lot of c**p happened and he was put under house arrest at his grandparents house, but later i learned from some of our mutual friends that he would hangout with them and go out all the time. he’s super popular at school and everyone likes him and doesn’t understand why i hate him. i wish they all knew.
Mokayokok 3 years ago
"I wish they all knew" - then tell them - they'll turn on him in a heartbeat, why should you, the victim, be the only one that has to live with this nightmare - ruin him.
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Mary Lou 3 years ago
It bugs me that sibling incest is still often romanticised in the media (while their are trigger warnings for every s**t on the other hand) , when in reality between siblings growing up together it´s usually a matter of molestation/ rape. I know about several cases - non of which had any consequences for the predator - familys tend to sweep it under the rug...
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
Sad thing is, if all this came out when the boy was 12, not only would've the girl not had years of rape to deal with, the boy could have gotten help and possibly become a non danger. Maybe. But now, stc20, the pattern is probably set, and that boy's life is ruined because of what he started when 12, or he will probably ruin many other lived. Still, better it came out now, not many years from now after more lives are ruined.
S Mi 3 years ago
Rape does not take your virginity (not criticizing the child or OP, just making a statement, it can be given if people care to make that a thing, but not taken from someone non consensually). Rape does not equal sex
Gail Goins 2 years ago
Where did you get this wacko idea? I think if you check any legal statutes, you will find that you are very wrong.
Load More Replies... Michelle C 3 years ago
Hopefully she’s able to check into the statute of limitations for her state and report him!! If he was a minor, too, there’s a good chance he was being sexually abused and the perpetrator was probably never caught.
#22
My grandmother used to kidnap and sell young girls in Mexico back in the 50's and 60's. She would sell them to ranchers to presumably be wives and/or sex slaves. She was not a good person at all.
Mokayokok 3 years ago
"She wasn't a good person at all" - Ya think! Selling children to a place where they'll get rape many times everyday of their lives and most likely getting beaten if they don't comply is the sickest f*****g s**t I have ever heard. I'd very much like to take a baseball to your grandmother - I only need 5 minutes at the most - there's already too much trash on this planet, she won't be missed.
Mokayokok 3 years ago
I had to look it up - the story is beyond f****d up, but here's some info, if anyone wants it. "“The Poquianchis” were a group of Mexican sisters known for being the most feared serial killers in history. It is believed that between 1945 and 1964 they committed around 150 murders, although the official number of victims was 91." https://www.sandiegored.com/en/news/188449/The-Poquianchis-were-historys-most-feared-Mexican-women-serial-killers
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#23
Both of my mother's parent's had affairs without the others knowledge. My grandmother had Parkinson's and in one of her confused states she told my grandfather that she had an affair.
Suffice to say my grandfather was not happy and put her in a home. He then started talking to my mother trying to figure out when it could have happened. He speculated that it happened around the same time he was having his affair, which was around 1966. My mother was shocked, she was born in 1967.
So my mother may or may not be related to the man she believed to be her father.
ERIKA H. 3 years ago
The audacity and hypocrisy to.put her in a home when he did the exact same thing
Monday 3 years ago
She was gonna end up in a home anyway, she had Parkinson's. I'd rather be taken care of by professionals than the husband I cheated on anyway.
Load More Replies... keighterz 3 years ago
All through history women have been committed to institutions and homes by their husbands or families for completely unnecessary reasons. That old female hysteria bs. This woman would have ended up in care anyways with Parkinson’s but sounds like the husband did it out of spite and anger.
DEW 3 years ago
I married a man who is spanish/filipino and white. In his family they all just had 1 kid each. My husband has 4 siblings. My first child looks like his family with dark brown hair instead of black. I am white. The second child had blonde hair and blue eye's when she was little. When she has introduced her dad they always say noway is he your dad. The third kid came. I told my husband they don't believe #2 is yours. A relative called and he all of a sudden starts stammering. I look at him and he says well...he's my color! I said I told you!! Well now #2 is waiting on her DNA test she bought. Tonight I asked have you got the results and she says 7 more days. I said I can hardly wait for the results come back!! I said send the results to all the relatives!!
#24
A relative tried to poison one of their guests. Once I learned about it, it finally sealed the deal for me and forever changed my view on them. They were bonkers anyway but good lord that's too much.
myvloggun [[ he/they ]] 3 years ago
I'm doing the play of it this year for school!
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Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago (edited)
When asked if they ever knew the reason why they did it, OP said, "It was a lifetime ago so I can't really recall. But I swear I really think that relative has some mental issues masked by a very unnatural joyful attitude, as if like everything they did in the past never happened. Anyone outside the family may think they're normal but they're really not."
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Cold Contagious 3 years ago
Having a close personal tie to a poisoner would definitely put me off eating and drinking anything made by anyone but myself.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Apparently my Mom's cousin (or maybe an uncle) tried to kill his parents by poisoning some powdered donuts. He must have gotten the dosage wrong because they just got really sick, sick enough to go to the emergency room where it was determined that they had in fact been poisoned. He ended up in a mental institution and no one ever saw him again.
#25
In doing ancestry research, I found a prison record for my great-grandfather. Felony assault at age 18 in 1901. My mom was shocked and never knew.
Bobby 3 years ago
It's a very difficult decision. Do you tell someone at some point or try to bury the past in the past. That's not really an option anymore though
Load More Replies... Sue User 3 years ago
We lost touch with a family member. Contacted they city where we believed he died. They got back and said they had no death certificate. However, they had his address through his parole officer. He had, at the age of 65 , got into a bar fight over a beer. Not quite a felony though.
#26
Growing up I never understood why my dad could sometimes be so cold to my mom. When I was 13 he passed away and I had to start dealing with my learned relationship habits. My aunts began telling me the story of his first wife.. My father and her got pregnant and he was called to the hospital and excitedly ran into the room to find her and her lesbian lover standing there with the baby. They told him "we are done with you and she wants a divorce." It was a years long plot to have a baby with him and he never even suspected anything. My grandmother said he was crushed for years. I probably hurt women along they way in my navigating relationships as well. Please don't make selfish choices that hurts others, it hurts more people than you think...
TheElderNom 3 years ago
I wrote earlier about how my father's laziness caused my parents divorce. The reason for that was that his ex-wife made him do everything, he worked more than full-time to provide for them and her child, then he did all the housework as well while she'd sit home all day smoking a carton of cigarettes a day. He did work in the beginning of my parents marriage but was bad at doing housework though he did some but after his business failed he mainly sat by the computer all day. But both my mother and grandmother thinks the ex is the reason for his changed behaviour. I also suspect a bit of depression after the business failing. The ex also demanded that she and her child should be allowed to spend weekends and Christmas at my parents place. My parents were fine with the kid coming despite not being my father's biological son but they didn't want the ex to come. Ex said they ruined her sons life and refused to let him visit if she wasn't allowed to stay. Think that I might've had a brother
MyCatsTheRealPanda 3 years ago
A CARTON a day? Wtf?! How can she even breathe..
Load More Replies... Mokayokok 3 years ago
Wait ... did I miss it? It doesn't actually say why he was sometimes cold to OP's mom. The thing with the first wife wouldn't run over to the wife.
juice 3 years ago
i think it did run over to the second wife, the *years-long* betrayal probably really messed with him
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Eliza Thomas 3 years ago
If you want to be gay, be gay! Don’t hide it from your husband for years!
A Jones 3 years ago
That's awful. If they were so desperate for a child, they could of gone to a DNA donor clinic or adopt.
#27
I found out 2 years ago that my mother had a baby she gave up for adoption 18 months before she had me and then had another baby when I was 3 and she also gave that baby up for adoption. All 3 of us have different fathers and I think the only reason she kept me was because my father married her but that marriage only lasted a year. My mother remarried when I was 5 and my (half) brother was born when I was 7. As far as I knew for 59 years he and I were our mother's only children.
I never saw her pregnant with the 2nd baby because she sent me to live with my great-grandparents across the country during her pregnancy. My mother and grandmother were the only people who knew about this and they both took the secret to their graves.
The only reason any of it was found out is because of all of the DNA testing people now do. This discovery really impacted my sense of identity for a while, my view of my mother, and our relationship.
I've met my half-siblings, an older sister and younger brother. I like them and I'm glad I've been able to answer some of their questions but the initial discovery really messed with me for a bit.
witchling 3 years ago
I just found out something similar. I've always been an only child and desperately wanted a sibling. Recently found out thru moms confessions that I have a sister that's a few years older then me. Mom doesn't have any of the adoption info and I have no way of looking for her.
kim morris 3 years ago
DNA testing, 23&Me, and Ancestry.com. Do both of them and chances are you'll be able to track her down.
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Blitzø 3 years ago
Similar story- my bio mom had three kids, all different dads, and gave all three up for adoption at birth, and only kept me (I'm the youngest). She only kept me because my bio dad wanted me. He's been in prison since I was one, and she OD when I was 4. I was also adopted and when I turn 18 I want to reach out to them.
Pudgy Panda 3 years ago
Did 23 & Me for my 65th birthday. Found out that in addition to the four birth siblings I knew about, I also have a younger sister. She grew up with my bio mom, believing herself to be an only child. The year before I became acquainted with her, she found her bio dad and four 1/2 siblings. The news that our bio mom (who’d died the year before) had basically lied to her her whole life really shook her. I look identical to bio mom, so difficult for her to deny, but she’s chosen not to have a relationship. I don’t blame her as it must be incredibly hard to process.
KindredKiller 3 years ago
My family has a similar story. My grandma's father cheated on my great grandmother after they had already had six(!!!) children together and nobody knew until he was on his deathbed. My newly found great-aunt is the best however! Also, her and my grandmother share the same name because my grandma actually used to babysit for the family of the woman who my great grandfather cheated with. The woman never knew! She passed away 15 years ago though so I never got to know her well. It's like the plot of a movie!
Lorraine Woollands 3 years ago
My father had 5 siblings,two where full family and the younger three one sister two brothers, where the result of a affair my Grandmother had behind my Grandfather's back. Don't think he knew. She married him years after my Grandfather died. Anyway bad lot these three turned out. One was arrested in the Fifties for trying to pick up men in a public toilet ( he was gay), the other brother was a thief, oh and the sister, she helped her husband in molesting their kids. They was only found out when the oldest girl found out that they started molesting the younger sister( they had six kids, all molested) that she turn them into the police. Poor kid was only about 14 years old
Debbie Parkinson 2 years ago
A friend of mine found out he was 1/2 African American. He looks Italian. Confronted his mother who told him she was an orphan. She lied. She and her sister could pass for white so they did. Their parents pushed them to do this. He found out he has 2 uncles also who were dark skinned. He had a slew of family his mother kept from him. He speaks to her, barely, but is delighted at his new family. The ironic thing is his mother married a white supremacy leader of the KKK. He asked what would’ve happened if he and his sister were born looking black. She had arranged with the Dr to claim they died at birth and then put them up for adoption.
#28
When I was growing up my grandfather hated anything Russian. If there were any news about them he turned of the TV. if they played against any other team in hockey or so he didn't watch it (even tho he loved ice hockey and it was a world cup final). I was a kid I didn't understand why, to me he was a retired carpenter and grandfather. When he passed away my uncle told me everything. How he served as a foreign volunteer for Finland in the winter war against Soviet (my great grandfather was from Finland). How he's friend were taken as a POW and executed. He then want back to Finland for the continuation war where he was wounded and almost died in the battle of Ilomansti, the last big battle.
Jessica Wood 3 years ago
Actually understandable. Lots of Finns outright despise Russians, even now.
Magpie 3 years ago (edited)
Lots of us but certainly not all. For example I don't loathe Russians. The madness of Stalin (and now that of Putin's) was not fault of the ordinary Russian people. I have lovely Russian friends. My nan and other relatives had been evacuated from the Karelian isthmus and they had lost their homes and belongings because of the war but our family has never hated Russians per se. Hating a nation because of their insane leaders is fruitless and shortsighted.
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Mosheh Wolf 3 years ago
Finland was the only Axis country where not only were Jews not persecuted, but remained full citizens. Moreover, Finns protected any Jew who made it to Finland, despite Nazi demands. There are about 100 Jews who fought with a Swastika on their uniforms by choice. However, they only fought against Russians, never against any of the other Allies. On the other hand, the Vichy French were active collaborators with the Nazis in their crimes.
#29
My Uncle didn’t have an ~~aneurism~~ stroke spontaneously. (Sorry, I’m not a Doctor)
He deliberately stopped taking his blood thinners.
Dude was 63 with a wife, four kids and 15 grandkids, the oldest of which was 13 and the youngest was not even a year.
He was just done. His wife doesn’t know, his kids don’t know. I only know cause I overheard the family doctor telling my dad. As far as I know, only myself. The Doctor, and my dad know.
Emerald Joanna 3 years ago (edited)
As someone who works in the medical field, a lot of people self-discontinue their medication for a multitude of reasons - not always because they are "done." I would be interested to know if he stopped the meds knowing it would kill him or if he just believed he didn't need them anymore & was done taking them.
Rubyjune 3 years ago
My mother had always stop taking her medication when she wanted the attention an ambulance and hospital stay would bring her. She finally gave herself a small stroke that did little damage but enough that she could quit doing anything for herself. She chose to go into a nursing home at 64 and now does absolutely nothing not even walk.
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Aunt Messy 3 years ago
My mother didn't actually die from the cancer that was killing her. She took advantage of the MAID ( Medical Assistance In Dying) program in Canada. Her cancer was untreatable, she was in constant pain, and once her will and financials were set up, she decided to end it. ... ... ... ... ... ... She chose to die at 11:00 p.m. one night. ... .... ... ... .... ... ... My brother and sister don't know this, and I've only told one cousin that I know I can trust. I can't even imagine the hysteria that would happen if anyone knew.
Kristen Bagan 3 years ago
Wow, were you present? I believe MAID is a gawd-send.
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Patti Vance 3 years ago
my dad's family has a history of high blood pressure and heart issues. he told me that his dad, who was a carpenter, had been retired but had serious pressure issues. his son in law, also a carpenter, had him work at his shop. when his dad discovered that the sil was silently correctly his work in order not to have him know his skills were fading he quietly stopped all his meds and was gone very soon. my dad has the same issues and i asked him if he would do that. all he said was if he would become incapacitated where he had to have a caregiver he would consider it. he lives next door to me and i admit i watch his moods like a hawk. but, even if he did this i would understand - be very angry but understand as he would never be a burden. btw, i am adopted and couldn't have a better papa.
Seabeast 3 years ago
Blood thinners can be so unpleasant, every little cut or scrape just seems to bleed for ages and purpura can appear all over your body for no apparent reason.. If you take warfarin you have to be so careful about your diet and decide early on whether to eat leafy greens every single day or never touch them again.
Elaine Morinelli 3 years ago
But he wasn't raiding the grandkids was he? And his kids were grown? Wonder what he was "done" for?
Allison B 3 years ago
There's not always a concrete reason for someone to do that. It's quite possible he had severe untreated depression and just felt he was tired of living.
Load More Replies... #30
This will probably get lost, but here's my story. Had some family move to Vegas with a local churches money (close to a million dollars) to open a new church for them in sin city. They gambled it all away. Came back church told them to f**k off basically. They started their own church that allowed them to buy multi million dollar houses, brand new cars for them and their kids, basically a luxury lifestyle. They sell merch at the front door to the church, members are required to provide bank info and they tithe 10% monthly income from all families. If you don't pay up, they kick you out. They tell you how to eat and exercise. If you don't follow they kick you out. They put it in an old movie theater so they have multiple stages. Full lighting and av crews. They do love offerings when they need extra cash. God tells them to take trips (like told their congregation God told them to ride motorcycles through the grand canyon) he even claimed he had healing powers for a short amount of time and got SAINT tattooed down his arm. The whole 9 yards. At the beginning of the pandemic when they were shutting everything down, they pressured their congregation to pay the 10% for the WHOLE YEAR UPFRONT* They've cut contact with all our family because we won't be part of their church. Also their church is well know in our city and local area, but no one has stepped in. Cuz, ya know, Bible belt. My cousin started a cult.
Arwen 3 years ago
It’s because the thread is taken from Reddit and people know if they post quite late on a popular topic, it might not be seen by many. I agree there’s no real need to lead with that statement, but it seems very common on that site.
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Julie Schulz 3 years ago
The Bible says to tithe 10% of what you make. Every religion, group, cult that follows the Bible uses 10%, that I can think of.
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#31
My uncle’s family claimed he had polio instead of a hereditary crippling disease. His wife figured it out when she went to their family reunion. She already had one child and was pregnant with another.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
This is not your fault, you were never told when it mattered and you didn't willingly pass it on ... The only thing I can give you now, is to live your life to the fullest, make beautiful memories, leave an imprint... You are still alive now (and hopefully well enough) to celebrate the life you've been given. To not live your life is throwing away the wonderful person you are for your kids... And with all the new discoveries in the medical field being done every day, you can not know when it's your time... Hugs from the sunny south of Spain xx
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
How can people think it's okay to not share that information with someone who is getting pregnant? It's like being trapped in a lie instead of a relationship :(
#32
I found out that my great-grandpa got away with murder. He thought that my great-grandma was cheating on him with her dentist so he went into his office and shot him. He got away with it too and they didn't find out that he did it until he told everybody before he died.
Bubbles and sparks 3 years ago
I can't for the life of me understand why someone would want to kill another person because they might have had an affair with your SO... It's not like their SO wasn't in the affair as well. When being cheated on, there are always a few options, 1) end the relationship, 2) work on your relationship 3) deal with it together. You can't just blame the other person for "stealing" your SO, as they are not a possession... My ex "thanked" my SO for stealing me from her, as if I didn't have a choice in the matter. Unlike her, I first ended my relationship with her before getting together with my SO, she cheated on me for months on end and even brought the side chick to my house after they just fuc*ed, got to admit, she had some nerve back then. She ended up cheating on the side chick too, telling me that "cheating was in her dna" XD Now I think it's hilarious, back then not so much. But to take someone's life over an affair, that is the most stupid thing one can do...
#33
I found out my dad killed someone in a drunk driving accident. My mum randomly told me a few years ago, it shook me for a while. I think it still very low-key affects him.
Lolly 3 years ago
It should very high key affect him. He took someone's life drink driving. My nephew was killed by a drunk driver, he was only 18
Sammie 19 3 years ago
One of my cousins was killed by a drunk driver. She had just gotten engaged to her boyfriend who she had 2 kids with and she also had an 8 year old son from a previous relationship. They were all in the car, youngest two were 3 and 1 and her 10 year old when they were hit by a drunk driver. My cousin, her fiance and their two babies were killed instantly. Her 8 year old was thrown clear of the car and taken by air ambulance to the hospital with multiple broken bones. Drunk driver got sentenced to 7 years in jail and was out in 4. 1 year for each life he took and nothing for the child who survived who is still suffering 20 years later. The driver has been in and out of jail, drugs, drunk driving, drunk driving without a licence. So awful.
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Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
My brother was killed by 2 drunk drivers... one hit his car ( he was driving home from work), the 2nd hit his side of the ambulance. Everyone but him lived.
BasedWang12.4 3 years ago
I woke up when my head hit the dash. Dad laying over the center counsel bleeding on my leg. Don't Fn drink n drive
#34
I found out that my great grandpa wasn't actually my great grandpa because my great grandma had my grandma (her daughter) with a famous boxer who was extremely abusive. She divorced him after having kids with him and met my great grandpa while she was supervising the manufacturing of B-25 bombers during WW2. My mom and I are the only ones (besides my grandparents) that know the true story.
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
My Grandmother had my Mom in 1942. Her bio Dad was a semi-famous wrestler in the Chicago area and refused to marry her. My Grandpa had been in love with her forever and married her to give my Mom a name. He was awesome, but was a raving b*tch (I never liked her) and I'll never understand how he stayed with her for 40+ years. For all intents it seemed like they had a good marriage and went on to have 3 more children together.
#35
My mother "supposedly" has a fraternal twin. My grandmother couldn't handle the thought of two kids so she gave the male child away to someone she knew that was moving away. In a drug induced rage one night my grandmother screamed at my mom that she kept the wrong child; it was never mentioned before or after that moment. My mom was roughly 12 at the time. She asked my great grandmother about it and she knew the boy's name but not where they moved to or who he was living with. My mom actually had met him once but didn't know who he actually was. My grandmother denies it ever happened and my grandfather felt that "surely they'd have had to tell me". I doubt they would have though. When she was pregnant with me, my mom asked my great-grandmother what my middle name should be: my middle name is actually his middle name.
keighterz 3 years ago
Fathers were not allowed in the delivery room so it’s entirely plausible that she told them to take the other baby away without him ever knowing. They didn’t do ultrasounds regularly or at all back then so they might not have necessarily known they were twins. I was born in 89 and the only child my mum had an ultrasound with, and that was only because they were worried I had ceased existence.
DEW 3 years ago
When my sister was born in 1967 she was all wrapped up and only her face was showing. So my mom 20yrs. wanted to see her little feet and unwrapped her and the nurse got mad and said now she was contaminated. My dad wasn't allowed to hold her till they got to the car. My dad had two toes that were webbed. She wanted to know if she had them too. Neither of us did. Oddly enough 1 of my daughters school friends had the same "Twin" toes.
#36
My dad's friend commited suicide by shooting himself in the head in front of my dad and some other friends when he was 15 years old. They were all hanging out at the friend's house having a good time, when he went upstairs, grabbed his father's pistol, and came back down calling everyone's attention. He then put the gun to his head. squeezed the trigger, and collapsed behind a couch. They all thought it was some sort of sick joke at first, until they looked over the couch and saw his body and the blood. I first heard this story from my mom when I was 18, which explained some of my dad's behavior towards toy guns when I was a kid, but I never brought it up to him. I just hoped that one day he would open up to me about and eventually he did, but we haven't talked about it since then. I'm amazed how my dad dad turned out to be such a great man having to expeience something awful like that at such a young age, but according to him it's something that never left him either. He still has nightmares about it and get really uneasy in movies and TV shows when they show someone getting shot in the head.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
I can't imagine the pain, trauma, and guilt that their father went through. It was a tremendous weight for a teenager to try to process. It must have been difficult. Glad that OP feels like he's a great man, it takes a lot of strength to move past adversity like that.
Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago
My dad's father told my father when he was pretty little (but old enough to understand it) that he was going to "go see one of [my dad's] brothers." The brother he was referring to was deceased. The suicide attempt didn't work (he tried overdosing by pills), but he sadly died when my father was only fifteen from a stroke.
#37
When I was very young, my oldest cousin died at the age of 23. I really liked him because he would take to me this local lake and we'd throw rocks and dead fish into the water. I remember not understanding what was going on other than watching everyone be sadder than I ever knew was possible at the time, but I wasn't told why. Years later I found out he committed suicide. Years after that I found out what happened. My aunt found him hanging in the shed with a note saying he was gay, and based on how he heard the family talk about homosexuals, he thought they'd never accept him. To this day they hold opinions I would deem hateful towards others, so honestly I'm not sure he was completely wrong. Today he would be in his 50s.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
That's so horribly sad that he didn't feel like he could live being someone that his family had hard feelings for in others.
#38
Since a lot of these are about murders and rapists, mine is a bit funny. we once found a "family photo album" in my whacky aunts house. Start flipping through the plastic pages and BOOM! gang bang photos. there had to be like 20-30 people in these photos. It was back in the 80s i'd imagine and everyone was so hairy and ugly. I guess Aunt Jan is part of a swinging community.
Michelle Carlson 3 years ago
Can you imagine taking photos like that to get them developed!!??
#39
I found out from my dad that one of my cousins isn't related to anyone in the family. My aunt and her mother used to work at a hospital maternity ward and apparently a woman came in one day and gave birth to him and then left the next day without him. My aunt decided to adopt him, but a few months later the woman showed up again asking where he was. They both lied that he was given up and didn't have a clue where he was. They still haven't told my cousin anything.
LittleMissPanda 3 years ago
The poor woman :( I don't know what she went through to leave her child behind but coming back for her son and being lied to is awful :(
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
Read the comment above yours from Wifeofweasly. It's really sus that someone comes back after a month asking if their baby is still there like it would have been sitting there the whole time waiting for them. I'd guess she was up to no good with coming back. Maybe she needed money and wanted to sell the baby
Load More Replies... keighterz 3 years ago
PPD and PPPsychosis are very very very very serious mental health issues that are not taken seriously enough. Women are judged harshly as bad mothers when in reality they are desperately clinging to their sanity and trying to hold everything together. Post partum life is seen as so wonderful cus you have this precious new baby. It can be such a dark place. The darkest of places. Some women get hit so badly with it that they end their own lives or the lives of their children. This is definitely a situation where if you have never experienced it or witnessed someone experiencing it, you need to shut your damn mouth.
Hellebore 3 years ago (edited)
You're quick to judge people, my grandfather was left by his mother when he was a baby because she couldn't afford to raise him, he found her after she was dead and found out that she always planned to get him back and tried for years but was denied so. He was a public figure and she would always watch him on tv, collect newspapers and follow his life. It broke his heart
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#40
My dad told me that, before my mom and dad broke up, he hadn't been happy with her for several years. My mother even had a miscarriage at one point, which destroyed the both of them. But he couldn't leave her, because he was afraid that she would hurt or even kill herself. So his only thought was to have a kid with her, so that motherly instinct would hopefully prevent her from killing herself.
Tamra V 3 years ago
Many people STILL think a baby/child will fix everything. (My mom was severely depressed, manic, misdiagnosed. She told me I'm the reason she stayed alive when I was a child. I appreciated her honesty.)
Anna 3 years ago
In this case I assume her depression came from the fact that she miscarried, it's an extremely traumatic event for women and a lot of people don't know that there are resources to deal with it. I can tell you, after a miscarriage, having a baby might be the only thing that could help. Some women start spiraling into depression if they are unable to conceive. . It's hard to explain if you've never lost a very wanted baby, but I see why all he wanted was to give her one. Nothing sadder than a mother without a baby.
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#41
There is strong debate in our family as to whether my aunt fell out of the window of her flat, whether she jumped or was pushed. She survived, but with brain damage, and says she can't remember.
Maria 3 years ago
This is a re-post from Reddit, you need to click the little grey text underneath the post to go to the original if you want to interact with the writer.
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#42
Found out that my great grandpa killed my great grandma. I never actually met him, he died before I was born, but throughout my life I heard many good things about him. My mom would tell me of how he was very caring and calm, and then one day I found out that he sometimes beat up my great grandma, and, in a fight where he was super drunk, he shot her. Worst of all, no one in the family called the police and they sort of just "hid" this, like, he didn't go to jail or anything. I understand that this was many decades ago and things were different (unfortunately for the worse sometimes), and it wasn't uncommon for men (even the good ones) to beat up their wives, but still, it was quite a shock for me considering that everyone in my family always talked about him with a smile on their faces. Mom told me that he regretted it for the rest of his life and constantly talked about how he missed his wife, but still...
Jill Rhodry 3 years ago
'...even the good ones...' - no, sorry, good men don't beat their wives regardless of what year it is.
ezPZ 3 years ago
I would read it more like "violence was so embedded in the culture, that most of people would consider beating as something normal". Like buttler in "Django"
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Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
So basically, he covered his abusive tendencies with a public smile and fake “warmth”, and saved all his rage to take out on his wife in private. Probably took great care to only leave bruises in places that didn’t show. Bastard. The family are also bastards for not calling the cops (back then, even though police had a hands off policy with domestic abuse, murder could not be ignored), and helping him cover it all up. Where’s Great Grandma buried? Under the floor in the basement or in the backyard, ffs?
Dav Carro-Ripalda 3 years ago
The "I miss my wife. Maybe i shouldn't have shot her so hard" kind of regret?
#43
One of my aunts raised another aunt’s baby as her own.
My mom had 4 sisters and a brother all of whom got married and had kids, so I have around 20 cousins. Unfortunately 3 of my aunts got breast cancer in their 30s. All 3 recovered, but years later the youngest, Maria, got it again and got it worse.
Maria needed a bone marrow transplant. All her sisters and children got tested, but no one matched. The family then revealed that Maria had had a teenage pregnancy. Her first child was actually my cousin John who had been adopted and raised by my oldest aunt as her 2nd child. None of the cousins knew about this including John and his revealed to be adoptive siblings. John was asked to get tested and was a match, so he agreed to donate bone marrow to his birth mom, Maria. John was in his late twenties at the time and had had very little contact with Maria over his life, so he’s pretty cool.
The transplant took, but Maria eventually succumbed a year or so later.
#44
Oof, my mom saw her friend die in front of her because of a bus, my mom even said that she saw her intestines coming out her mouth; mind you my mom was I think 9 or 10 years old at the moment After she told me about that I never questionned her again about her past because who knows what else she went through! I may think she is problematic but seeing her sad is not my goal at all and I felt terrible for her (and for the kid)
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
This had to be horrifying and traumatizing for their mom when they were a child. I can't imagine how much she was affected by that experience. That's something that could easily wreck an adult mind, much less the mind of a child. This is such a sad story. I hope she felt better over time.
#45
1990, I'm 5 yrs old. I'm at my dad's house after he left for 4 months to Tennessee. He frequently did that because he supposedly loved the state. My mom is watching America's Most Wanted and a segment involved a man in Tennessee being murdered with a police sketch of the last person to see the victim alive. The sketch was an exact image of my dad. Supposedly a mutual friend of my parents went to the local police department on other business and the deputy asks "Hey, have you seen Rich lately?" The friend responded "sure, couple weeks ago I saw him downtown." They insisted if he's seen, they needed to talk to him. If he did do it, he's an extremely good liar because he was never brought on charges to my knowledge. I've been estranged from him since I was 8.
#46
My great uncle was murdered along with his wife, the murder suspect was run down and got stuck in a swamp, shot himself in the head. The strange particulars. My uncle, his wife, and the murderer were all deaf/mute. The murderer was renting a room from them. This happened in the 40's, and no one ever found the motive. A few years ago, I took a DNA test, and found that I had cousins who had descended from the murderers wife. Turns out my great uncle was cuckolding him.
#47
A cousin confided in me a month ago that she was molested by my grandfather when we were kids. She even told me that I was there with her when this was happening and I somehow don't remember anything about it. I hope he's burning in hell for it.
#48
I'm the only child between my mom and dad but they both had children from previous relationships. All of my siblings were 15+ years older than me. When I was 7, my mom and dad split because my dad "had feelings" for my mom's oldest daughter who already had four kids. Ok, gross and s**tty but both adults so whatever. Cut to 13 years or so later and my dad is suddenly all in involved in the life of one of the kids of that sister. 20 yo me was oblivious as to why this was happening. Took me another 7 years to put all the pieces together that my dad was the father of that kid. I had grown up thinking she was just niece but she was in reality my half sister-niece. I've never discussed it with anyone in my family. My mom died before I put all the pieces together. But wait... there's more! My family and I are all from Mississippi. Cue Deliverance banjo music. My dad was born in 1945 so unsurprisingly, he's super racist. And I mean like, SUPER RACIST. That sister-niece of mine? She ended up having two kids with one-legged black man. The one-legged part isn't really relevant except for him showing up to my house one day and suddenly doing pushups in my living room for no apparent reason. Anyway, karma's a b***h. Cheat on my mom with your step daughter, get her knocked up, basically have nothing to do with said child's life then the child goes and commits, in his eyes, probably the biggest betrayal possible. I would throw a chef's kiss right here except all I really care about from this story is the pain it must have put my mom through and I was took young or oblivious to be there for her. Miss you, Cotty.
tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 3 years ago
'The one-legged part isn't really relevant except for him showing up to my house one day and suddenly doing pushups in my living room for no apparent reason' This dude is straight out of The Sims 4
#49
My grandpa who died back in 2017 was a very quiet man and didn't talk a lot. A few years before he died, my Mom (his daughter) told me why. Apparently when he was around 10 years old back in the late 30's or early 40's, a girl around his age lived across the street. One time they went out with his rifle to shoot at random things in the woods. On their way home there was a fence they had to get over to get home. My grandfather leaned his rifle on the fence to help his friend get over the fence since she was a girl. As she was going over the rifle fell over and went off, killing the girl. After the cops got involved, he was found to not be at fault, but the girls family stood out in the street at various times over the next two weeks, yelling "MURDERER" at my grandpa's house. He eventually couldn't take it, and ran away from home. In his teens he met this guy named Rocky and befriended him. Rocky was supposedly in his early to mid twenties. Something happened where Rocky ended up passing away and my grandfather took his name. I had always wondered why my grandfather had a different last name than his brothers. Here is where it gets even weirder. My Dad was adopted and until recently, we didn't know anything about his biological family. Well, thanks to all of the DNA tests that have become common, we ended getting connected with his biological family, to include his Dad(my Dads Dad), who is still alive and in his late 80's. Talking to that part of the family, we have come to find out that my Dad's biological Dad has almost the same story as my Mom's Dad. He also had accidently killed someone as a child, ran away from home and changed his identity. Can you do a TLDR in the comments? My Moms dad accidentally killed girl, ran away from home, and changed his identity. My Dad is adopted, we found his bio Dad, and he has almost the exact same story, killed someone as a child, ran away from home, and changed his identity.
Oliver Coine 3 years ago
If your parents both had a dad that did the exact same thing...I'd ask them to take a DNA test to see if they were actually siblings! That's pretty...Wonky.
Who cares what I think, but... 3 years ago
Maybe your dad was adopted from his biological dad??? Somehow???
#50
I don't know if it would be considered a family secret as my mom grew up in a small town so everyone would know but - So I've mentioned in past posts that my great-grandma died when my grandma was four and her father remarried a woman who had kids of her own. Step-great-grandma used to beat my grandma and her siblings horrifically as soon as their father left the house, locked them in the basement all day, etc. Obviously this had a negative effect on them. Grandma grew up to do this to her own kids, for instance. Well, one of my great-uncles became an alcoholic. He also robbed graves. Apparently he had kind of a fetish for gold teeth, but he also stole jewelry and stuff that he could sell to buy booze. Mom says she could remember him showing up at the backdoor when she was a kid covered in dirt and her mom would always take him in for awhile, feeding him, clothing him, etc. Then he'd go right back out to drinking and grave robbing. Mom always told me he died in an accident. Several years ago though one of my uncles informed me that he really died when he was found passed out on someone's front lawn. They had called the cops and when they arrived and tried to arrest him, he woke up and started resisting the arrest, fighting the cops. So they killed him.
#51
My Grandfather who I never met was in a Cult and him and his friends sexually abused my father and uncles. The weird thing is my father gave me his first name for my middle name. I’ve always thought it was the Stockholm Syndrome that made my father name me after his pervert and demented dad. I am legally changing my name on my next birthday. My father has never been a “normal” person, supposedly according to my uncle he got the worst of the abuse, which I accredit to his messed up childhood.
Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
Weird take... but maybe he named you that to remind him to NEVER treat you like that. It was a true act of love for you... at least I hope so.
#52
I found this out about two weeks ago. In my teenage years, my grandmothers started dating a rough guy and for about four years, we didn't see her any more unless we were picking her up from the hospital after he beat on her. I took it that we were disappointed in her decision to keep this guy in her life. After a recent visit from my mom I found out that my grandmother's boyfriend was a large-scale drug dealer who routinely, and without consequence beat people in public. The cops wouldn't pursue him, people who knew who he was wouldn't press charges. My mother and her sisters went to county law enforcement and when they learned the man's name, and looked up who he was they literally gasped that this individual was in their county - and that they could not discuss him further without consequence. My dad worked for a major hotel & resort and had the head of security (retired secret service agent) make some calls - 2 days later an FBI agent showed up in the doorway of his office, flashed credentials and asked why my dad was looking into this man. After a brief explanation of the story the agent told my dad "let it go." and left. The man was in my family's life from 1993-1997 when he died of a heart attack, my grandmother died a few months later. We've speculated on everything from "Mobster" to "high value witness protection program participant". I'm 40 years old and I still have no answers on this VERY dark chunk of my family's history. If ANYONE has any ideas of how/where to research this - I would LOVE to know more.
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
FBI informant, I bet. Still a rotten piece of s**t, and they shouldn’t have let him get away with the horrible things he did.
Your Neighborhood Alien 3 years ago
OP also said: I was only 13 when he started coming around and don't recall the situations much. My grandmother told a story about him when things turned, she had been dating him a while and he was at her house and two men arrived from New Orleans, she lived an hour away in Bay St Louis, MS. The man arrived while she and he were having lunch and opened a pair of briefcases, one with cocaine and another with cash. She said after that, he became paranoid he had shown her too much and that was when he started beating in her.
#53
My dad has a brother who I've never met and I didn't even know about his existence until a few years ago. I asked my parents why nobody from the family talks about him and why haven't they invite him to us but they said "just because". And then we had other relatives over at our house and I heard them talking about him and it turns out the guy is a criminal and he spent almost all his life in prison but the worst thing he did is that he was molesting his own daughter (or at least he was accused with it) but my mother and also the half of the extended family believes till this day that his daughter just made it up for attention..
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Actually i'v seen that happen a few years back, a 13 year old girl told her teacher that her father was abusing her, teacher calls the Police, Police arrested the father, now his face is " plastered " in every newspaper, man loses his job, his friends is brandes a pedophile, 2 or 3 weeks later the forensics Police, founds out that the girl was never abused, her father never touched her, She made the entire story up to get Revenge because her dad didn't let her go to a consert with her friends, this was a massive news story a few years ago.
Lord Rimuru 3 years ago
Kid should be punished and the incident should be removed from the dad's record
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#54
My parents told us they were "married in secret" until they found out my mom was expecting and then the "told" their families. It later came to light that they married on the day they found out my mom was pregnant and lied to their parents and us but that wasn't the doozy. My father was an only child and his parents absolutely idolized him. They were very strict Catholics and very strict with my dad never allowing him to play sports because the feared losing him or whatnot. My paternal grandmother had like 5 miscarriages. Anyway, after my dad's parents passed, he was going through their documents and he learned THEY had to get married too. Their wedding license was dated 2 months AFTER the date he had always been told! I know it's not a very dark secret, just a very catholic secret in a very catholic family....
kim morris 3 years ago
LOL. My grandparents 'had' to get married, their oldest son 'had' to get married, the son's oldest daughter 'had' to get married. All Roman Catholic. When I told my younger sister, we both burst out laughing.
keighterz 3 years ago
My husband and I found out we were pregnant a few weeks after we got engaged. We told my parents a month later and my mum said I had to “break the news” to my both my grandmothers who she was sure would be highly offended and disappointed that I got pregnant out of wedlock. LOL my one grandma was so happy she started crying. My other grandma just sighed and said “whoopsie!” She then proceeded to tell me about every one of her aunts and uncles and family members who had babies out of wedlock or got pregnant before getting married. My mum had no words 😂
Kiss Army 3 years ago
When my husband and I were dating (he was 26), I made a joke about his parents having a shotgun wedding and he looked confused. I pointed out to him that if his parents had been married 27 years in February and he would turn 27 in September, that's only 7 months and it takes 9 months for a baby... he looked stunned... he had never done the math... LOL!
HangryHangryHippo 3 years ago
Hehe, I was at a friend's house talking about our parents, how old they were when got married, how long after that we were born (both of us the eldest child), etc... There was a photo framed in the living room that had the wedding date below, and we quickly realized that they got married when her mother was several months pregnant with her 😅 TBH nothing to be ashamed of, and obviously the whole family knew it at some point as my friend wasn't a premature baby... But funny that the sudden realization for her came at a completely random moment when she was 16/17 YO
#55
When I was young I was told my grandpa was murdered by an ex convict. Hit him in the head or something. When I got older iwas told that he didn't die that easily. Some dudes broke into his house and tied him up. Told him he must give them the legal documents for the house as a present or something alike. When he didn't do that they started tortured him. At some point I think they amputet a knee or something. Strong man. Didn't give in. We only found out because those dudes were caught for something else, and admitted to murder because they'd get a higher rank in prison.
#56
My mother disclosed to me that she had once been date raped by a friend. She was impregnated she said she got an abortion and regretted it for the rest of her life. Then when my father knocked her up with me he told her to get an abortion. And said "you already got one before" he left her when i was around 3yrs old and i never saw him again. He died before i could ever catch up with him. I had wanted some sort of closure and or to talk to him about everything.
WonderWoman 3 years ago
What kind of closure or conversation could you possibly get from a jerk who abandoned you?
Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
The chance to tell him off and spit in his face.
Load More Replies... #58
Found out that a great great uncle pretty much got away with murder. His wife turns up dead, and she had bruising around her neck. Criminal forensics wasn't to advanced back in the early 1900's. Don't know how they ruled how she died, but he remained free, and ended up marring her sister a couple months later.
Xenon 3 years ago
Surely it would be pretty obvious how she died, no forensics required just common sense.
Nicole Weymann 3 years ago
The bigger problem with prosecuting crimes in those days was a lack of organized, non-corrupt law enforcement, I think. Many cases like these likely were not investigated unless someone actively made an effort and had the influence and energy to overcome the collective inertia/lack of routine (cue shrugging and mumbles of "domestic matters")
Load More Replies... Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
To many a man... " wonder what she did to deserve it". A not unusual expression when a woman is murdered. (NOT ALL MEN... happy now?)
#59
My grandmother on my father's side caused so much grief for her parents (my great-grandparents) that it actually led my great-grandma to have a heart attack and led to a huge rift in the family. Not all grandmothers are the cookie-baking kinds you see on TV.
#60
That my cousin has been having an affair and physically abuses her husband because he won't believe the texts aren't real and that she threatened to kill him and her kids
Xenon 3 years ago
What would help is coherent sentences. Won't believe texts aren't real...?
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#61
Not a secret but just something weird. In the late 1960s my maternal grandmothers husband divorced her and gave her partial custody of their two boys. During one of the visits she took off with her two kids and moved them from North Dakota to California. Her entire family was Seventh Day Adventist which is a tight community so when she moved to California she found an area that was very Seventh Day Adventist and sort of waited knowing that the community would protect her from the authority's. Keep in mind that previous husband had not been accused of abuse she was just mad that she did not get full custody. This arrangement lasted from about 1968-1971 finally she had a falling out between either her adopted mother or her cousin and they called her husband who came and got the kids. My grandmother did not receive jail time for the kidnapping but was not permitted to see the kids again. As far as I know she has not seen either child since 1971. The seventh day Adventist church later paired her with another perisher who would become my grandfather. Neither my mom nor my aunts have ever met their half brothers.
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What do you think ?
Mokayokok 3 years ago
For those who don't know, I had to look it up because I've never heard of it, but "Botulism is a rare but serious illness caused by a toxin that attacks the body's nerves. Symptoms of botulism usually start with weakness of the muscles that control the eyes, face, mouth, and throat. This weakness may spread to the neck, arms, torso, and legs."
I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago
The history of it is quite interesting especially being the basis of Botox injections. It's one of the most deadly poisons/toxins per unit and it's very expensive.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
There's a really strange thing in my family involving sexual assault and sexual abuse. My mom was raped by her sister's father and a church deacon when she was fourteen. My aunt on my dad's side was raped by my dad's father when she was fifteen and my father saw it happen. He was five. My aunt was sexually abused by one of her cousins. I was repeatedly felt up by a guy at school until I went and sat between two guys and then he left me alone. My sister has been stalked twice. So basically, the women in my family have been sexually assaulted, sexually abused, and stalked.
Erin Fish 3 years ago
By no means am I belittling your family's experiences but I think this is also just the consequences of being a woman. 81% of women report experiencing sexual assault or harassment. My own family has a similar pattern, some of us even sharing abusers.
Load More Replies... Bill Allen 3 years ago
I know what it’s like to be the one who ushers small children away from a certain uncle in my in-laws family. Everybody knew but they would always make sure he was able to be at family gatherings right up till he died. I never understood that. Found it weird that they would have him around their young children and not even watch out for them. My wife and I didn’t have kids. If we did, we wouldn’t have been to many family functions. When he died my wife’s sister cleaned out his apartment. She found a lot of pictures of very young girls that he had cut out of magazines and stuff. Yuk.
wifeofweasley 3 years ago
I recently discoverd that my great grandpa (?) was a nazi during world war II. My mom and I went through some old photos and I noticed one with a man in an uniform I've only seen in history books and documentarys. I asked my mom who that man is and she told me that's her grandpa who was a proud nazi til the day he died. As far as she knows he wasn't stationed at a concentration camp nor was he an officer (so he wasn't close to Hitler) but he fought in his name and probably did some other f****d up things.
Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
Very curious about what the young children of today are going to say in 20 yrs. Are people bragging to their kids about what they did on Jan 6th? Proud that they have to arm and set up defenses for all election officials, due to threats from one side to disrupt the vote "to make sure things go OUR way".
Load More Replies...
Katy Fix-Santana 3 years ago
When I was a teenager I discovered my mom's college bf asked her to marry him. When she said no he shot himself in the head right in front of her. It's weird to think of your parent going thru something like that.
John Dilligaf 3 years ago
When one of my great uncles died we found a thick file of documents all in French about a distant cousin in the European branch of my family who was a Nazi collaborator in WW2. Not the kind that just went along to survive, but the kind that actively worked to root out the resistance and send people to the camps. And he escaped justice too. He fled France to Spain after D-day and disappeared. The French gov't had been looking for him until the mid 1950s
Jasam Nitko 3 years ago
My grandfather was murdered by his best friend. The friend had a crush on my grandmother, and he thought that her being nice and polite to him meant that she wanted him. He showed up after the funeral expecting her to be ready to get married to him. She beat him bloody. I found out about it when I seven years old and a friend and I heard a gunshot while playing in the woods. It was the man who murdered my grandfather that committed suicide. The old people at home still bring it up, how that evil man managed to traumatise several generations of my family.
Tree P 3 years ago
How terrible! So sad that men confuse a women being nice and polite as interested. Even worse that this man killed his best friend, and believed she was going to marry him! How is it that he didn't go to jail for the murder?
Load More Replies...
Mokayokok 3 years ago
For those who don't know, I had to look it up because I've never heard of it, but "Botulism is a rare but serious illness caused by a toxin that attacks the body's nerves. Symptoms of botulism usually start with weakness of the muscles that control the eyes, face, mouth, and throat. This weakness may spread to the neck, arms, torso, and legs."
I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago
The history of it is quite interesting especially being the basis of Botox injections. It's one of the most deadly poisons/toxins per unit and it's very expensive.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 3 years ago
There's a really strange thing in my family involving sexual assault and sexual abuse. My mom was raped by her sister's father and a church deacon when she was fourteen. My aunt on my dad's side was raped by my dad's father when she was fifteen and my father saw it happen. He was five. My aunt was sexually abused by one of her cousins. I was repeatedly felt up by a guy at school until I went and sat between two guys and then he left me alone. My sister has been stalked twice. So basically, the women in my family have been sexually assaulted, sexually abused, and stalked.
Erin Fish 3 years ago
By no means am I belittling your family's experiences but I think this is also just the consequences of being a woman. 81% of women report experiencing sexual assault or harassment. My own family has a similar pattern, some of us even sharing abusers.
Load More Replies... Bill Allen 3 years ago
I know what it’s like to be the one who ushers small children away from a certain uncle in my in-laws family. Everybody knew but they would always make sure he was able to be at family gatherings right up till he died. I never understood that. Found it weird that they would have him around their young children and not even watch out for them. My wife and I didn’t have kids. If we did, we wouldn’t have been to many family functions. When he died my wife’s sister cleaned out his apartment. She found a lot of pictures of very young girls that he had cut out of magazines and stuff. Yuk.
wifeofweasley 3 years ago
I recently discoverd that my great grandpa (?) was a nazi during world war II. My mom and I went through some old photos and I noticed one with a man in an uniform I've only seen in history books and documentarys. I asked my mom who that man is and she told me that's her grandpa who was a proud nazi til the day he died. As far as she knows he wasn't stationed at a concentration camp nor was he an officer (so he wasn't close to Hitler) but he fought in his name and probably did some other f****d up things.
Gardener of Weeden 3 years ago
Very curious about what the young children of today are going to say in 20 yrs. Are people bragging to their kids about what they did on Jan 6th? Proud that they have to arm and set up defenses for all election officials, due to threats from one side to disrupt the vote "to make sure things go OUR way".
Load More Replies... Katy Fix-Santana 3 years ago
When I was a teenager I discovered my mom's college bf asked her to marry him. When she said no he shot himself in the head right in front of her. It's weird to think of your parent going thru something like that.
John Dilligaf 3 years ago
When one of my great uncles died we found a thick file of documents all in French about a distant cousin in the European branch of my family who was a Nazi collaborator in WW2. Not the kind that just went along to survive, but the kind that actively worked to root out the resistance and send people to the camps. And he escaped justice too. He fled France to Spain after D-day and disappeared. The French gov't had been looking for him until the mid 1950s
Jasam Nitko 3 years ago
My grandfather was murdered by his best friend. The friend had a crush on my grandmother, and he thought that her being nice and polite to him meant that she wanted him. He showed up after the funeral expecting her to be ready to get married to him. She beat him bloody. I found out about it when I seven years old and a friend and I heard a gunshot while playing in the woods. It was the man who murdered my grandfather that committed suicide. The old people at home still bring it up, how that evil man managed to traumatise several generations of my family.
Tree P 3 years ago
How terrible! So sad that men confuse a women being nice and polite as interested. Even worse that this man killed his best friend, and believed she was going to marry him! How is it that he didn't go to jail for the murder?
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