“They Think It’s A Cheat Code”: 30 Women Reveal Their Creepiest Experiences With ‘Nice Guys’
Interview
Quite a few of us likely have—or have had—a friend that can only be described as the nicest person that you’ll ever meet; an individual you know you can trust, one that’s always nothing but attentive and caring, and who would never do anything to make you uncomfortable.
Unfortunately, some of such nice people do end up making their friends uncomfortable by doing something unexpected and typically quite disturbing. Members of the ‘Ask Women’ subreddit recently discussed such situations after a redditor started a thread about the creepy things “nice guy” friends have done that made their female counterparts ghost them. Scroll down to find the netizens’ answers on the list below and see how quickly “the nicest person that you’ll ever meet” can shatter their image.
Bored Panda has reached out to the OP and they were kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find their thoughts in the text below.
This post may include affiliate links.
Figured since I "let him" pay for dinner that I owed him sex. We were coworkers, both married and it was a meal of convenience (we were both getting per diem, I was going to pay for my own meal, but I was in the bathroom and apparently he flagged the waiter down so he could pay 🙄). F**k right off with that. I told my boss and he got transferred elsewhere. I still get grossed out when I think about the assumptions.
Went on a driving date with him. He knew a “spot”. Tried to kiss me and then chocked me saying “ I could k*ll your if I wanted too” …. Then went on like it was nothing.
Came to hang out and keep me company after I attempted s*icide. He had condoms in his pocket expecting to have sex with me! I told him how grossly inappropriate that is and he needs to leave. He shouted at me because he knows I'd slept with one of our friends in the past so why won't I sleep with him. What made Paul better than him? I probably shouldn't have gotten physical with him but I did collar drag him to the front door and push him outside. Never saw him again.
“I asked the question because I was quite surprised at how many men nowadays talk about how difficult women are to please, because I’ve never had any trouble having female friends or entering a relationship,” the OP told Bored Panda in a recent interview, adding that they never make any sexually charged comments at them, which might have something to do with it.
“Some of my female friends had stories about things guys did that were too ambiguous for the guy to know he was creepy,” they continued, “and I was so curious as to what men might miss that they do that turns out to be the nail in the coffin for a woman.”
Showed up at my work uninvited and hid around a corner. Texted me I looked great in my sweater.
Dude f**k ALL the way off.
Messaged several of my other guy friends and told them to stop talking to me because I was his girlfriend (I was not...).
The OP gave an example of a situation where a woman might see a red flag in a potential partner. “For instance, my friend got asked out on a first date—via Instagram, by a guy she had never met, who lived in her local area—to his house. To me, it was obvious that a lot of women would never agree to that, and my friend didn’t either. She also stopped talking to him, rather than suggesting some place else, because that alone said enough about his character for her.”
Relationship expert and co-founder of the personality type dating app ‘SO SYNCD’ Jessica Alderson said there might be no malicious intent behind such an invitation, but advised against accepting it nevertheless. "You just shouldn’t take that risk in terms of safety,” she told Mashable. “It’s completely acceptable to say that you would prefer to meet at a public place such as a bar or restaurant."
Punched a wall until his knuckles were all bloody and sent me the pictures bc I was on a date and didn’t respond to his texts for like 3 hours. He was “mad at himself” that he was jealous and “had to punish himself”.
I'd known him since we were seven years old. Through the Church kids and teens activity groups.
Even stayed on contact while I was out of state for college.
One of the first handful of people I came out to.
Even knowing i was gay, asked me for sex because he'd been in a dry spell. So since we where such good friends could I let him get off? He'd even really appreciate it, if I'd let him in raw, so he could feel the full pleasure of nutting. He'd probably finish fast, so it be just perfect if I let him have a few rounds.
He asked all this at the table during a lunch in my brother's house in front of 6 other people.
Yikes. Especially that dude said it all in front of 6 different people lol
He said, 'you made me do it' and convinced everyone that I lead him on. He is such a nice guy, they said. I was 16 and he was my dance teacher.
While discussing the netizens’ answers, the OP admitted that some made them “feel sorry for the guy for being stuck with the personality he has”. Others were difficult to read because of how often a woman’s trust has been broken or how many sexual remarks from all sorts of men they have had to endure.
“The replies, as well as my experiences with male friends, ultimately left me feeling that men had the power to influence women’s opinion of them a lot more than they thought,” the OP suggested. “I do think a lot of male conversation is about shock factor sometimes and it results in men saying appalling things to each other to get laughs.”
We went on a few dates but I just didn't feel the vibe so called it off. - He told me women who do such things get shot or get acid thrown in their face and face glass ceiling at work and I will never come up in life. - He bought a mug for me with my pictures on it smashed it and sent me the picture and then bought another mug as an apology. - He went to all the places we went on date and recreated the scene - ordered the same food, walked the same path trails etc.
Sent me pictures of his d**k, color and black and white, and asked me which one was better. Men honestly don’t understand how crushing it is when you think you’ve made a friend who respects you and actually likes you as a person only to realize he’s just been biding his time to f**k you. It’s like they think it’s a cheat code to sex, like instead of making it clear it’s their intention upfront they purposely lull you into being comfortable via friendship and then try to use that friendship as leverage to get what they want.
He messaged my dad on FB to tell him that he was his "nemesis" because I wouldn't hang out with him on my dad's birthday.
The OP told Bored Panda that they haven’t had a friend—male or female—who seemed like the nicest person ever, but turned out to be rather creepy. “But I do find it annoying when people make endlessly sexual remarks because it is intrusive and feels like there is a hidden motive. It’s like forcing bedroom talk on a surprised and unwilling participant,” they said.
Asked me when it would be “his turn” to date me because he’d listened to enough stories of guys not treating me right.
Had a friend like that - I was looking for a relationship and had a few dates through onlinedating, to get to know the men behind the profile. And he said, that it's unfair, that I date "all the men, but not him". - Yes, because I knew him already und knew, that I didn't want a relationship with him (also hat told him before, that I'm not interessted)
Broke down and told me if i wouldn’t f**k or date him, he was done with the (years long) friendship so i cut him out completely. showed up on my doorstop (not where i lived when i knew him!) years later to gift me a sketchbook he had when we knew each other which was a lot of pictures and comics he drew of me in lewd and/or romantic situations w him. I was an out lesbian and in a long term relationship the entire time i knew him.
He drove to my house from his place 2-3 hours away apparently to return some books I lent him, but actually was there to berate me over some photos I uploaded with a guy I was seeing. He was apparently so hurt that we had been friends for years but I never gave him a chance before dating someone else - it’s not a checkout mate, you don’t get ‘next’ because you were waiting in line!
The entitlement he felt to be ‘owed’ a sexual relationship because we had been friends (or so I thought) for years, was really gross. Especially that he thought it was ok to drive that far to confront me like I had betrayed him! He had also never put in the effort to visit my home prior to this. I am glad I got my books back though, because I never spoke to him again. It’s been 15 years or more and I haven’t regretted cutting him out of my life for a single second.
I caught him sneakily recording video of me without my consent during a pool party. He claimed he didn't even know his phone was recording and that it was an accident, so I asked to see his phone to verify and he refused.
It was a friend's birthday party so I didn't make waves (didn't want to ruin the party for the birthday girl), but I promptly blocked that guy on everything and never spoke to him again.
Told me his wife said he could sleep with me then tried to kiss me on a day we were in my new house alone and he was helping me paint. Told him to leave and he said he thought it would be okay because I just slept with another of my friends.
Got drunk and he let me crash at his place. Said I could take the bed and he’d take the couch. Woke up to him in the bed.
He was one of my closest friends and a friend of my ex of four years ish. And when my ex and I finally broke up for good my friend offered to hang out with me while I was going through it. I was crying and really upset about what had happened in the moment and just needed someone to talk to. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd as I was crying with my head in my hands wiping my tears he grabbed my hands then my head and he tried to make out with me..
When I stopped him and asked wtf he was doing, he told me “I’ve always wanted to get with you…”
Time and place. Honestly too, if he would’ve just been a good friend to me during that time, we got along well enough that I would’ve given him a chance. But not after that lol.
Kept going in my room when I'd leave. I had a hidden camera because I was suspicious and saw him go into my room with no clothes on and I WAS STILL IN THE PARKING LOT RIGHT OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW. That was the final straw and I packed all my s**t that night and left to my parents place a few hours away. Left a note stating what to do with the key when the lease was over. Told the leasing office he isn't allowed to resign and that was that. I feel horrible, but when he asked what was wrong I said "I'm not an idiot dude"...and he never said anything. Haven't talked to each other since. I have actual trauma from it all.
Edit: I wanted to add he also hid toilet paper from me during COVID panic when the stores were out, and told me about it a week later while dying of laughter saying he wanted me to have to find it myself. I was on my period, and didn't have toilet paper for a week. Meanwhile, he had a Costco size pack in his bedroom after I had asked him for days if he found any at the store. I went to the store everyday looking for toilet paper and let him borrow my car when I was busy to help look for some.
Guy I went to elementary school with, ran into him at a pool hall as adults after I had just gotten out of a long term and bad relationship. He was a friend of a friend, super polite and smiley, and in hindsight really EXTRA. He wanted to connect so we swapped numbers. We chatted the next day but I was going to help take care of my grandmother for a pacemaker surgery and a bit of her recovery and it was out of province but that we could touch base again when I got back to plan to hang out.
Over the next 5 days, I missed over 60 phone calls. He filled my VM. My grandmother lived in a seriously rural area so when I drove into civilization and was bombarded I just went “woah”.
The voice mails ran the gambit from “hey, enjoy your time with your grandma and we will talk when you get back” to “I knew you were a stuck up b***h the moment I laid eyes on you, you just want another s****y dude to treat you like garbage” and on and on. I blocked him and never saw him again.
Small town rumor mills being what they are, he married a friend of a friend’s sister and promptly beat the s**t out of her within a month of the wedding. She landed in the hospital and he’s got a RO and ran for the oil fields.
- Tried to kiss me while we were hanging out one on one because *his fiancée* was sick and couldn’t come. Accused me of leading him on by hanging out one on one. - Called me to “chat” but was clearly m*sturbating during the call. Two different guys btw.
Regular guy that was actually a good friend of mine. I went over to his place to hang out and play games, just the regular s**t. He tried to put his hand in my shorts after he put a movie on. After I told him no and got away from him, he started to yell at me about how much of a s**t I was and why he was never one of the people I had sex with and that he deserved it yada-yada-yada. I got the f**k out immediately.
He tried to use the "I was drunk" excuse, that guy was far from drunk. A little buzzed at most.
Asked me for pictures of my feet, and when I said "f**k no," he responded with "I get it, we can just pretend this never happened." Uhhhh, No the f**k we can't my dude 😂
I am currently rocking a rash from an allergy to a new brand of fabric softener. A doctor who stalked me (I used to work with him) asked me to send him pics. Like, what? Also turns out he was stalking me because he needed a visa document signed for his wife - I work for private medicals and he thought we would just sign some unknown person's visa papers. Like wut?
Never even met him, we just messaged briefly on Bumble. He just came on waaay too strong. Within maybe a couple hours of chatting on/off: called me his “dream girl,” offered to build me a dining table and various furniture, and just seemed to be latching very quick. Whatever chemistry he seemed to perceive was entirely one-sided. When I started responding slower (because I had things to do - imagine?) he called me a brat and starting complaining and generalizing about women. It was a whole lot of emotional volatility in a short amount of time. I didn’t feel his anger warranted a response.
It did warrant a response - a screenshot to the admins to get his a*s banned.
He offered to take my clothes down to the laundry room in our college dorm because he was already headed down. When I got there, my underwear was stacked/folded in a different way than it started…
Friends for 10 years and suddenly one day confessed his love for me & said he would threaten anyone that interferes. 10yr friendship flushed down the drain!
Also had a "nice guy" roommate at one point. He was always polite & cordial. My cat was ill, and spent a majority of time in my room. I set up a pet camera in my room so I could keep an eye on her while I was at work. One day I checked the camera and just so happened to see my "nice guy" roommate crawling out of my closet on all fours. That was fun.
I had been trying to distance myself for ages because he would constantly show up unannounced at my house, kept trying to suggest getting together which I shut down every time. In no way was I not clear I wasn’t interested in him or a relationship. He would invite himself everywhere! Then one day I came out of the shower and he was just sitting in my loungeroom. Buck a**e naked I lost my absolute s**t at him and blocked him everywhere. Of course I was the bad guy because he was such a nice guy and had no idea why I all of a sudden cut him off 🙄
I would of called the police. How dare he enter your home..and sitting there naked? I would of thrown him out my house wearing exactly what he had on when he was sat waiting. This person sounds bloody dangerous to me
Pretended he was gay, then went in to kiss me at his birthday party. This is after years of friendship and me sharing a lot of personal stuff with him.
Went to a club without him, with another friend, he came with his other friend and yelled at me for dancing with other people because he was my dance partner. Proceeded to get incredibly drunk and yell at me for not letting him kiss me. 2yrs of friendship, was completely blindsided.
Lots of other examples but after the last one, I stopped making new friends.
Invited himself into my dorm room, suggested we watch a movie, and proceeded to try to put p*rn on. Over a decade later and I'm still undecided whether it was a sexual thing he was getting off on or more of a power play to see how I'd react. Either way I was done with that friendship.
I had a guy who was a commuter to campus show up at my dorm room door (he had asked someone to let him into the locked dorm) totally uninvited. Knew I was going through a rough time, so claimed he was there to check on me. He SA me instead.
Created a creepy short movie using computer animation (and uploaded it to YouTube) where he and I were a couple. Tried to blame it on his friend.
Finally in my 40s I had a friend I met at work. I was single, he was happily married. He mentored me, we got lunch and talked about work, we kept in touch on social media. He was so respectful. I felt validated.
Two years after I left the company he called me at work around the holidays (unusual). We had a nice catch up chat then he told me he’d had a dream about me that put me “on the naughty list.” At the time I was dealing with sexual harassment issue at work. Our relationship dissolved instantly. I just couldn’t handle being objectified yet again, by someone I thought didn’t see me like that.
Started asking increasingly invasive questions about where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing. When I tried to set boundaries he blamed me for not being there for him enough (we had known each other maybe 2-3 weeks) and went off at me for “leading him on”. When I told him I didn’t want to continue being friends he cried that I was leaving him just like everyone else. Geez.
Was out to dinner with him and my husband. He told my husband that he was going to steal me away and that if he had found me first my husband never would have had a chance. Not only did he treat me like a piece of property, I'm happily monogamous and married to the best human in the entire world.
Waiting for me on my kids trampoline in our yard when I wasn’t home. He lived in my neighborhood and strolled over earlier and wanted to hang out but I said I was busy, got in my car and drove away in front of him. I assumed he’d walk home but he didn’t!
My other neighbor had a camera, he stayed there on my trampoline for 2.5 hours until I got home with my kids and then was upset I wouldn’t let him inside to hang out while I put them to bed.
Knew this guy since childhood. When him and his wife broke up he expressed how lonely he was. Immediately asked me out. I said no. Kept pushing. Dude. Just because I’m single doesn’t make me automatically want you. No = no.
There were other things that made me pause but not end the friendship (WHY????) but the final thing was we went out partying and when we got to his house at 3 am he woke his mum up to scream at her bc he was s****y I didn’t hook up with him. I went to sleep in his brothers room (brother was out) and left early the next morning. Never saw him again.
Ummm...good for you for having the presence of mind to not fück an @sshole? WTF seriously?
It was New Year’s Eve, my husband had to work, I was very newly pregnant, went to a party and our friend (he was friends with both my husband and I. I never hangout with guys one on one) messaged me drunk from a different party confessing his feelings for me. He then begged me to come to his place for a new years kiss.
That was the end of that!
After dinner, we were talking outside when he suddenly pushed me against the wall and forced a kiss 🤮
I was taking a hoody off (I had a T-shirt underneath) and caught him videoing me. He was sitting next to me and as I pulled the hoody over my head I noticed he was looking straight ahead away from me but was holding his phone literally sideways with the camera pointed at me.
Asked what the f**k he was doing and he said nothing, he jumped a mile and moved his phone immediately. I asked to see his camera roll cause it looked suspicious the way he was holding his phone and he refused.
This was at a friends house of our group and I promptly told him to f**k off. Everybody defended him so I left (blocked him immediately) and lost the entire group as friends lol
He stuck his tongue INSIDE my ear. We were just sitting on the couch , about to decide what to watch on the tv /wich videogame play (cant remember, it was in the 90's). Never flirted or talked about seeing each other or anything.
I yelled in surprise and disgust, got up super fast, got out of his appartment and never talked to him again.
I still remember the sound of his nasty wet tongue in my ear to this day. Yuck.
Btw we were supposed to hang out with a group of friends at his flat, i was the first one to arrive. I know better than getting alone in a dudes house i'm not romantically interested to.
Ew. A guy I met a couple of times who started going on about how "he never felt this way before" and "I think I'm in love and it scares me" and obviously just wanted to get me into bed and eventually said "if you don't feel the same, we should probably not see each other again" to which I happily and politely agreed, suddenly had his tongue in my ear as we were saying good bye. And it hurt - he caused "underpressure" (?) in my ear. Ew ew ew.
We had gone out for the day and it was really nice. He was disabled so he struggled to get out in his own so we’d go on days out to places he chose every month or so. I was in a relationship at the time. We were driving home and he said to me when this relationship falls through would I consider him…we’d been friends for a very long time and it made me very uncomfortable. He was 65 at the time and I was about 25. He then started talking about his sexual preferences and that he’s very particular and I was not having it. I couldn’t believe he would say this after knowing i wasn’t interested and already in a relationship.
I see these old men creeping on women on the internet all the time. "I don't understand what went wrong. I just told her I thought we would make a great couple. I don't understand why she won't **** me! I'm a nice guy. I deserve this..."
Bragged about having access to a Google Drive filled with my schoolmates’ unauthorized explicit photos (these are presumably shares by their so’s/partners). I scolded him about it and he proceeded to victim blaming. Then I asked him, "What if I was one of those women? Will you also share the files behind my back?". He got quiet and after I reached home, I cut all communications with him—his silence was already the answer.
Before this happened, I knew him as someone who wouldn’t hesitate to help me bring my bags, would share his advices, and a really ‘respectful’ friend. Maybe that was his facade after all. 😐
Wrote a love song about a girl who the song described as looking exactly like me, sat down on my bed, and looked deep into my eyes as he sang it to me. When I politely told him this was really nice but I wasn't interested, he called me a conceited b***h for assuming the song was about me.
You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you - Carly Simon https://youtu.be/cleCtBP0o5Y?feature=shared
He told me he had feelings for me and I said I didn’t feel the same way. He went into my room when I wasn’t home and left a love letter or rather his idea of one. I told him my boundaries were crossed and it was triggering for me (he knew I was assaulted and stalked in the past and I was struggling through this) so I needed space. Instead of space he kept texting and calling me non stop telling him I was giving him anxiety everyday waiting for me. When he finally came over again to hangout we talked and he told me it’s ok to stay friends. hung out like always and then as he was leaving he kissed me. And then just left. I went down on the floor in fetal position panicking and then all of sudden he was back in the room and told me he forgot his cigarettes. He looked at me on the ground obviously in panic and just said see you tomorrow. We had the same friend group and the same close circle he was really the only male. So all these girls started texting me that he was so happy I finally confessed my love for him and was telling them I wrote him a letter and came onto him… he lied to them all. So I started separating myself from all of them because my mental health went so low I didn’t see any of this coming. This was in October and by late November he was living with another girl.
He thought I was his ex girlfriend all the sudden. He talked to me as complete garbage telling me I didn't do anything right in our relationship. How I had cheated on him, talked down to him, how my mom and dad didn't like him.. and how my sister was terrible to him. (I don't have a sister and I don't have a mom and dad.. I have grandparents who raised me.)
Childhood friend; always a little creepy, always a little pushy. Invited me out multiple times, despite me always saying i wasnt interested, i always made sure if we were going out it was in a group and in public, made sure i was never leading him on. Always asked me about my relationships, but i naively thought he was just interested in my life and genuinely being nice ya know? Turns out he was biding his time. Final straw was when he invited me out with another friend of his, who id never met, and about an hour into the event we were attending they ganged up on me to tell me how terrible my boyfriend was to me and how he would treat me so much better how i should give him a chance etc. Never spoke to him again. Cherry on top: 3 years later he messaged me after the birth of my child to *ask me if i would consider making him my childs godfather*. WTF
hey I know I was a d**k to you and tried to force you into being in a relationship with me, but can I be more involved in your child's lives.
He started treating all the girls in our friend circle like c**p because "they're not like you" told him that was stupid and to stop being an a*s, he then became a stalker and i haven't used social media in years and changed my phone number like 3 times. Fun.
I used to have a guy best friend that was a great "nice guy", but he had a crush on me and I simply did not see him that way. And I never would have been able to. I tried letting him down as gently as possibly, but sometimes he would try to be very persistent. Our first falling out that was a major red flag in our friendship (besides him having a crush on me) was that he once did the whole messaging me saying how "If I didn't give him a chance to date me he was going to k*ll himself". Which is a super s****y position to put someone in. And very mentally instable, but I was a freshman in high school so i was very stupid. The thing that did it for me was when he did something horrible. We used to play Xbox together, and one time he invited his Xbox friend that lived in a state far away from me. This friend was extremely nice to me upon meeting, and we hit it off right away (friendly manner), and found out we liked a lot of games and hobbies in common. The night was super fun, and it ended with the Xbox friend asking for my snapchat so we could play again tomorrow and talk more. I said sure. Fast forward to the next guy, this out of state friend was a tad different, just more abrasive I guess. I asked my nice guy best friend to join the game, but my friend declined so it was just me and the out of state guy playing. He started getting inappropriate out of nowhere and wanting me to send nudes to him. I refused and the guy became extremely pissed off at me and kept asking until he became very annoyed. He then told me, "The whole reason I wanted your snap and to play Xbox with you was because your guy friend said you were a s**t and a w**re and would send to any guy. That you have no self-respect so you resort to being everyone's s**t". My friend tried lying his way out of it, but I had proof. He crossed a line and objectified me like I wasn't even a human let alone his friend.
He freaked out on me in public with tears, screaming and grabbing when I began dating a new guy, even though he had never made a romantic overture. Friends literally had to hold him back. It was scary because I honestly thought we were friends taking the same COLLEGE NOT HS class and eating lunch together.
hi just covering a bad comment from a guy who terribly misunderstood the post.
Guy 1: He would regularly tell me how attractive he found me, if he wasn’t ENGAGED he would date me but he loves his fiancée, and he would text me the next morning when he would dream about me.
Guy 2: Married a friend of mine and would snap me from a secret snap account. He would tell me how pretty I was and loved that I let him “harmlessly flirt” with me. Truthfully, I was so uncomfortable but I didn’t know what to do bc he was married to my friend. Ghosting made the most sense.
Guy 3: Replied to an IG story one day saying he was gonna save that picture for later 😉
Guy 4: He was a former coworker of mine. He got a new job elsewhere and sent me a text, “I’m so glad I don’t work at ________ anymore so I can flirt with you whenever I want”. My work had a strict no-dating policy between people on the same team.
Just to name a few.
He publicly read a poem about us being together and about my past relationships. And this was after he asked me to show up to “support” him.
Gave me a ride home from class because my car was in the shop. Proceeded to ask me out because I had just broken up with my ex of three years about two weeks prior. I declined and for some reason he was that as an invitation to reach over, grab my boob, and play with my nipple while driving me home. Shoved his hand away. When he dropped me off he asked me to send him money for gas (I lived about ten minutes away). Never spoke to him again.
he asked for gas money after groping you.... shoulda just jumped out at the next red light.
I had a friend whom I thought that I could trust for a time. We were sitting in a group and having a good time when he all of the sudden told a joke about sexually assaulting women. I can't even remember what I said to him , something like " i dont like you" and then I walked away. Since then I haven't spoken to him.
He was a "nice" guy who helped me leave my abusive ex-husband and offered his house to stay overnight before taking the bus back to my mom's house. He then later revealed that he wanted me divorced so I would be available to him for sex.
It's so bizarre that apparently the only thing making her "unavailable" right now was that another man was yet in the picture, and not the fact that she wasn't even asked, let alone agreed.
Screamed verbally abused me when I started dating someone new because I'm a "f*cking sl*t" for giving it out to everyone but him.
My comeback would be "We'll I'd worry if even a s**t like me wouldn't f***k you" (Wow, even F R I C K gets censored)
It wasn't creepy towards *me* but the day I found out my 40 yo "nice guy" friend left his fiance of 14 years to date a 19 y.o in our friendship group, he was dead to me. His actions afterwards proved my intuition right.
For context, we were all friends who met though a social dancing group. Naturally it was more women than men, and we'd joke about how many men treat dancing as a hook up zone. But this guy was *different* because he did it as a fun activity. He had a fiance who he had been with for so long.
Literally over the 2 week summer break he had broken up with his fiance and began persuing multiple women in the friendship group. Everyone turned him away, saying he needed to take some time for himself, but he said he'd never been single for more than 2 weeks as an adult and couldn't *possibly* bear it.
Nobody fell for it except the 19 year old. We tried to warn her to be careful but she thought we were jealous. 8 months later she broke up with him and he said she was his "best friend" and they should still keep in contact. Naturally he used that to convince her to keep sleeping/dating him even though she didn't want to. She turned to the rest of the dance group for help when he started stalking her in his car daily, and threatening to show up to the dance she was throwing for her 20th.
I made it very clear that if I saw him, I would hurt him in any way I could. I would make a scene at the dance hall. I would post on social media. I would *actually* hurt him to keep him away. He slunk off to join a different dance group. And yes, the cycle repeated.
Fiance of 14 years??? Why agree to get married then not get married??
He was taking pics of other women’s bodies when we were at the beach , my mom and I were next to him and didn’t even notice. I found them on his phone.
He kept telling me he would have to keep me away from his lesbian mom lmao. Excuse me? I don't know you well enough to go to your house. Also, the fact that you think your parent would prey on underage girls is problematic on its own, like has this happened before??? I had so many questions for that guy.
He got all pissy when I started dating my current boyfriend, tried to cause trouble with us and then messaged me to tell me that I was a s****y friend and he should have never trusted me. It was so weird! Then he blocked my boyfriend and myself, haven't talked to him since!
This is a guy that I used to try to be a listening ear to because he got in some trouble and used to threaten to unalive himself. I just wanted to help him and gave no hints that I liked him any other way. His loss,I was a great friend :(
Bro ranted his sob story making me feel sympathy towards him, then acted super stalkery and jealous when he was just a friend who's sitting beside me in class... Even cried in front of the whole class to make me look like the bad guy but all my friends took my side saying that he was peeking at their phones and acting stalkery too, so yeah ....
My friend had a king sized bed and after the club one night I crashed cause we went to smoke, and was buzzed and I have ONLY ever seen this man as a friend. He was fairly unhygienic and just not my type. Told me he would be up mostly and if he laid down he would stay on his side. Well nope not to long after I'm asleep mother f****r gets in the bed and starts trying to cuddle. Could feel him feel my a*s. I just decided to say f**k it and go home. I only lived like 10 mins away but was trying to be responsible. But he just triggered some PTSD from when I was a kid and I had to jet. *also he did this to my two other best friends in similar scenarios where they ended up needing to crash at his place.
You and they were most likely drugged. This is a disturbing pattern.
A “friend” of mine was stuck in PR with no job after he broke up with his toxic gf at the time. Their source of income over there would be onlyfans and trading. When he finally moved back he kept pressuring me to start an OF and he would manage it and basically take the money. I told him numerous times I wouldn’t be okay with having an OF and that I knew I would become really depressed and hate myself bc of it. He basically said “f**k your feelings, I’d be getting money.” He wanted to pimp me out and make me an OF girl instead of getting an actual job for his source of income.
He said he was feeling lonely and asked for a hug. I'm not generally a hugger, but I gave him a hug and he went straight in for the kiss. I don't think I've ever backed away from anyone else that fast.
I was still in school, I think I was around 14.
Came back from school - out of town and wanted to collect my bike at the train station- to find a letter on the carrier of my bike. A “secret admirer”, didn’t tell me his name or who he was but his number. 14 year old insecure me was very flattered and I texted him (that was ca 2000, so SMS). We texted but he kept refusing to reveal himself. Kept coming back to flowers and letters on my bike, which started to freak me out. He then finally told me who he was and asked me on a date, which I refused because his behaviour was just creepy. He got very upset and angry, saying I had probably just f*** someone else.
Deleted his number and avoided him until I moved away…
Offered to give me a ride to a game for a co-Ed team I just joined (knew this guy from High School) and he told me the team goes out for dinner after, so I said I’d join. Found out no one was going for food but me and him because he made it up. Never called my dad to come pick me up so fast.
The dude was my previous neighbor. For context, his house was at the front in a semi rural area, we shared a driveway. I used to sunbathe top less in my fully fenced back yard. There was no way that he would have known that I was sunbathing in the privacy of my yard unless he purposefully looked. One time, I caught him peeking through the fence at me (this particular time, I wasn't sunbathing, just hanging out). And I was absolutely mortified. In order for him to peek through the section of the fence he was looking through, he would have had to go over the boundary line onto my property. I realized that this probably wasn't the only time he had looked through he fence and had probably seen me topless at some stage. I stopped talking to him and became a bit of a recluse and moved out after a few months.
Told me he wanted to marry me and have kids with me after just a few days of texting, he also mentioned how he'd work two jobs so I could stay home and take of the kids... he knows I'm self employed running my own business that is my passion so I found this very insulting.
Compared me glass saying that I need protecting because I may look strong I'm fragile and need protecting... not the compliment he thought it was. These aren't really creepy just insulting.
He bought a plane ticket to my city and booked an Airbnb for two weeks a few blocks from my house... after only lightly floating the idea of a 'trip' by me.
I was like "hmm everyone doesn't communicate great sometimes, it's okay."
A few years later he made an animation for his class final about a couple romantically traveling the world together WITH MY FACE. AND HIS FACE. WITHOUT TELLING ME. AT ALL. And he posted it all over.
He kept passive-aggressively criticizing my dating life after I’d already told him I wasn’t interested in dating/having sex with him.
In college I became close with this one guy. I thought we are best friends. I had boyfriend, which he knew. I was talking to him about my bf, he was telling me about girls, I was helping him with dates. Only to turn out he has a "crush" on me. I distanced myself from him, until he made me believe it passed him and he only saw me as friend. I was naive enough to believe. Until one time few of us friends came to his place to comfort him after break up. It ended with him literally sobbing to me about how much we loves me and how much better he is than my bf. I felt like a big fool. It turn out he said and did the same to our other close girl friend that is my roommate and bestie. He was verry unstable. Both of us cut him out after that. Though we were forced to see him sometimes and he would still message me.
i had almost this same thing happen to me except he asked to be set up with one of my friends. she loved him so much, but he was just keeping her around for "company" until i "woke up". literally told the guy he knew i was interested in to take me on a pity date, and when i came back upset he was never into me, "friend" used that opportunity to ask me out. while he was hugging me. when froze and said no, he goes "damn, i thought this rejection would be enough for you to realize no one but me will put up with your crazy a**". knowing i was neurodivergent and scared it doomed me to being alone.
Called my parents house phone. I never gave him that number. I didn’t even know the number.
what year was this? if this was in the time of phone books their number was at every phone booth.
We were talking about a movie we watched in childhood, he invited me to his place to watch said movie, was trying to get under my shirt even before the movie actually started.
It would be fine if he just asked if I wanna have sex. I just felt lied to.
He told me we were just friends. I said okay i can deal with that, i wanna wait with relationships. Turns out once hes got the secure "friendship" he started to try and get me to be more than that. Because i was young and dumb i felt pressured into a relationship. During this maybe 1 week of "relationship" i hated every second of it. Thank God it was only online. He tried to call me several times a day, most of the time when i was busy with school etc. He followed this with "dont you like me anymore?? I thought we were friends.. you were the first nice girl, i was so nice" bla bla bla. I just decided to ignore him and then block him. Everywhere. It felt wrong. And he tried to guilt trip me back. I never told anyone about it. I really wish him well and for the most part i wish he got therapy.
Edit: i forgot that he tried to get me to facetime his mom, while we originally facetimed. She didnt want, i didnt want, i backed out of the screen and she just stood there awkward.
My sister dated a guy and everything was fine until the morning after they slept together she found him weeping on the bed next to her while listening to “The Scientist” from Coldplay and he was just staring at her and crying.
She never saw him again.
Secretly watched me type my phone passcode in, then stole my phone and sent all of my nudes to himself.
He was convinced that he was such a generous and thoughtful person when to me his “thoughtful” behavior was just pushy. If I say no to plans, it’s not an invitation for you to come up with a way to make the plans more convenient or appealing for me, it means I’m not hanging out with you. Last time he did this I tersely told him how I felt and blocked him.
Had a friend for years, one night we met up with a group of our friends and after dinner he offered to walk me to the car since it was on the way to his. On the way he looked up at the office buildings we were walking past and commented that he imagined that at least one of those lights were people hooking up. I said it was probably cleaners, and he laughed and asked how often I thought about people hooking up. I GTFO'd out, it was creepy and not in a vein that we usually spoke. Last time I was ever willing to be alone with him.
The guy friend who I had only known for a month would just creepily moan as a joke when we’d facetime to play video games together. It set me off so bad. He started following me everywhere in school and he would always talk about what kind of a*s he likes in a man 🙄 and how “he c*ms a little” when he eats butter naan… he was so goddamn weird. I told him to leave me alone and he called me an a*****e for that 🥱 I don’t know why I was even friends with him.
he's an idiot, and this won't make you feel better (cause he did go a little far) but boys moan for no reason. like all the time. no idea why, but they just do...
Let a guy I used to be friends with stay at my house who was visiting from out of the country pay and stay at my house for a week. We drank and I went to bed and he went to the room I designated to him. He came to my room and woke me up saying he couldn’t sleep then got in bed and started cuddling me and holding my hand. He was in the state visiting his wife that he had cheated on trying to make things right.
Most other times it’s guys not taking no for an answer when I don’t want to have sex with them. I’ve ghosted a lot of guys.
He showed up at my apartment with flowers and tea. Sounds romantic, right? Except I'd just gotten done a 12 hour shift and explicitly told him not to come over. He ambushed me at my car and got an umbrella to the chest.
1 Hugged goodbye, but wouldn't let me go for 30 min.
2 Asked if he could show me his junk multiple times (I had just ended things with his friend at the time)
3 Told him I wasn't interested in him as a relationship and got a "You can make our relationship official when you're ready" instead of accepting the rejection.
#2... His name wasn't Scott, was it? He used to to that to my exs.
He was convinced that I was in denial about my own feelings about ‘us’.
Loved the guy but never considered him more than a friend.
He was aggressive telling me how we would have hooked up.
I slowly backed away after that mansplanation.
He said he needed to take care of “the three S’s” before the date. I laughed it off at first until he said he was only doing two of the three and wanted me to guess the two.
I appreciate good hygiene and grooming, but it was just weird. I cancelled the date.
In high school a friend was sent away for behavior/mental health issues for a few months. When he came back, one of his first messages to me was asking if he could eat me out bc “it’s been a long time since he did it”. Never spoke again.
I was driving and I had a denim, mini skirt on. I took a sip of water and accidentally spilled. There was a puddle on my skirt, and he reached over from the passenger seat and pushed my skirt down so the water dropped down between my legs.
Told me he loved me and tried to kiss me after his brother started flirting with me.
I'd known him forever, told him everything like you would a girl friend, there was never even a hint that he liked me.
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
My dad was terrified my sister or I would be raped or abducted. As an adult I realize it was because of his f'd up ideas about women. He constantly cheated on my mom. Made gross comments to women. Told us that if he was a woman, he'd never work a day in his life. WTF, dad!
Ladies, please make sure every man, good or bad, that you know sees and reads this. Then discuss with him how he feels about these. And d**k pix are disgusting. And men: women aren't turned on by pix of junk or nudes like men are. In fact it's just the opposite.
I’ve had women ask for them. Why’s that? Probably scams?
Load More Replies... My dad was terrified my sister or I would be raped or abducted. As an adult I realize it was because of his f'd up ideas about women. He constantly cheated on my mom. Made gross comments to women. Told us that if he was a woman, he'd never work a day in his life. WTF, dad!
Ladies, please make sure every man, good or bad, that you know sees and reads this. Then discuss with him how he feels about these. And d**k pix are disgusting. And men: women aren't turned on by pix of junk or nudes like men are. In fact it's just the opposite.
I’ve had women ask for them. Why’s that? Probably scams?
Load More Replies...