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Construction, in its broadest sense, refers to the act of building something. That description isn’t really specific, right? And what comes when a term is described in a non-specific way? It creates space for hilarious interpretations and funny leeways, as if construction work wasn’t already a suspiciously funny topic. Combine that quirky elbow room of interpretation with building a house, and you’ll have some of the best funny construction jokes ever.
Yup, we’re talking about construction memes, puns, one-liners, and even dirty construction jokes that will leave you wondering how on Earth you’ve spent your life without them. Of course, these funny construction puns and jokes wouldn’t be as charming without the main element here—the workers. These dudes and gals either seem to be in a terribly foul mood or merry and without any worry. It’s only ever one of these feelings; have you ever seen a construction worker displaying any other emotions? Neither have we. But that’s exactly why these contractor memes and construction jokes are so hilarious—it’s the human factor!
If you deem yourself to be a real connoisseur of written entertainment, some of these bits also fall into the construction dad jokes category. If you were to ask us, these are the absolute best kinds of jokes. Get ready to read these glorious, funny, and dirty construction jokes. They will surely squeeze a giggle or two out of you, so give the best jokes your vote! Don’t forget to share this article with your friends who might need some cheering up today.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Nailed the Pun, Seriously
Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.
Port Saint Lucie Concrete 1 day ago
The article also briefly includes major construction failures, like the collapse of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, as context for why the associated humor often resonates.
RELATED:
#2
When Your Past Won’t Stay Put
"Sometimes I look out over the new construction in my city, old ground being dug up to make room for the new, and I think to myself, I really should have buried the bodies somewhere else."
Russ Kincade 3 years ago (edited)
Sounds like a Jack Handey joke! Like: When I die I hope I go in my sleep, like grandpa. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
#3
Minnesota’s Real Fourth Season
Minnesota has 4 seasons. Almost winter, winter, almost summer, and road construction.
#4
Classic dad joke energy
"You guys wanna hear a construction joke? Hold on, I'm working on it."
#5
Well, that escalated quickly
"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there."
#6
Plot twist: It’s the neighbor finger
A construction worker comes home from work. He tells his wife, "Honey, I cut off my finger today." She replies, "The whole finger!?" He says, "No, the one right next to it."
#7
Lightweight but always standing tall
While constructing a house, which building has the least weight? It most definitely is a lighthouse!
#8
Guess He Took “Blank” Literally
"I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair."
#10
Still Building to Funny
Why did the constructor shy away from making construction jokes? Because the joke still needed some work!
What Are the Biggest Construction Fails?
Construction memes and jokes are hilarious because they play on well-known facts and some stereotypes about builders. Even though there are many great contractors, some careless workers will still make a name for themselves. Yep, we’re talking about construction fails, and their insane effects on society. Here are a few of the worst construction fails that happened on a large scale!
Tacoma Narrows Bridge
The Tacoma Narrows Bridge was constructed in 1940 and was the first cable suspension bridge and the third-largest suspension bridge in the US at that time. Just after its construction, it was found to dangerously buckle and sway during windy conditions. Even with normal winds, the bridge would undulate noticeably. And just four months later, 40mph winds caused it to collapse! Luckily, not a single person was killed, and its collapse influenced how future bridges were built and how engineers approached bridge aerodynamics.
Vdara Hotel and Spa
The Vdara Hotel and Spa was opened in December 2009. Unfortunately, just a year later, this hotel’s construction created problems when it was discovered to be a ‘death ray.’ The hotel was designed with a unique, curved structure that collected solar rays and beamed them to the hotel’s swimming pool area. Guests who were sunbathing ended up with singed hair, and one person’s plastic bag melted! Even though there are funny construction worker memes, these terrifying construction fails will make you rethink the structures around you.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa
Tourists love the Leaning Tower of Pisa because they can take funny pictures with it. But this tower is quite a fantastic construction failure in action. The building gets its weird design from a shoddy foundation built on soil with no load-bearing abilities. At the time of construction, when the tilt was noticed, the upper floors were created to make them taller on one side, resulting in its curved structure.
#11
That’s one cool way to pave it
How does one construct a road at the artic pole?
One must use snow cones!
#12
Shockingly Bad Wiring Skills
How do people react when they see a lousy electrician? They usually are very shocked!
#13
Winter and Construction: The Only Real Midwest Seasons
Which seasons are the most distinct in the Midwest? Two seasons are most distinct — winter and construction!
#14
Honestly, Brutal but Helpful
What kind of criticism do architectural critics give? They give constructive criticism.
#15
No one wants a window pun break-up
Never tell a window a joke. You don't want to make it crack up.
#16
Gave “Building Dreams” a Whole New Meaning
"I was offered a construction job in Egypt this morning. Turned out to be a pyramid scheme."
#17
When shovels outsmart layoffs
"My city just fired half of the city's construction workers... Apparently they realized a shovel can stand-up on it's own."
#18
Puns on point, dad’s career glow-up
"My dad gave up his job of being a late-night radio DJ. He took up a new job as a railway construction worker. Talk about a career change, but I guess he just couldn't give up his love for laying tracks."
#19
Building Up to “I Do”
Why did it take so long for the construction worker to propose? He was building up to it.
#20
That’s some serious layering advice
Why did the painter come to work wearing two jackets on a sunny day? Because the head constructor advised him to always put two coats!
#21
Raise the Roof, Literally
How do construction workers usually party?
They are always known for raising the roof!
#22
Mood: Perpetually Hammered
Why does a hammer remain upset all the time? Because he gets hammered every day!
The Captain 3 years ago
Why does the nail always have a headache? Because he gets hammered every day.
#23
Extra hands, zero falls
What is the number of constructors needed to change a single lightbulb? Five. One will change it while the other four will hold the ladder steadily!
#24
Built for laughs, not just bricks
They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him. You could say he was really nailing it.
#25
Words Matter More Than You Think
How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a construction worker? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
#26
Plot twist: Pentagon’s like, “Nah”
Did you know that the Pentagon was originally supposed to be an Octagon? It’s true, but the contractor just kept cutting corners.
#27
Builder’s night off went sideways
A construction worker decided to go to a bar for a few drinks.
He got hammered.
#28
Well, That’s One Way to Break the News
A construction worker named John Smith had an accident at work and died. His co-workers don't know who is going to tell John's wife that he died. After a lot of arguing they decide that Jack should bring the news. After an hour Jack returns with two crates of beer. Everyone asks him how he got them. Jack says, "I knocked on the door and a woman opened it. I asked: Are you John Smith's widow?" The woman answered, "No, I'm his wife!" Jack responded, "You want to bet two crates of beer that you're not?"
#29
Not Quite Paving My Future
"My dad encouraged me to take a job on a highway construction crew... But I decided not to go down that road."
#30
No resumé, just woofs
A dog is looking for work. He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign. The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction. The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experience with *woofing*!"
#31
Problem? Nail it down.
What did the construction worker do to remove all the troubles in his work? He simply hammered the kicks away!
#32
Who Knew Noise Could Change Everything?
What was the most groundbreaking invention? It had to be the jackhammer.
#33
Short Staffed, Big Punchlines
What would you say if a construction company hires a lot of dwarves as their employees?
You would surely say that they are very short-staffed!
#34
Well, that just welded me to my seat
"I watched a documentary about how they fix steelwork together last night. Riveting!"
#36
“Too Clean for This Job”
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay, I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of a quick solution. “I’ll put down newspapers.” “That’s all right, lady,” he responded. “I’m already trained.”
#38
Construction humor hitting the right spot
What did the contractor say when the city complained about the overflowing river? "Dam it!"
#39
Stone cold truth right there
What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint? "I'm always taken for granite!"
#40
Mood: reckless but paying for it
"Girl, you're like speeding in a construction zone… Double fine."
#41
When life hits like heavy machinery
"I got T-boned by a construction delivery truck the other day. It came down like a ton of bricks."
#42
Toolbox or court? Same energy
What similarity do you find between a volleyball player and a carpenter? Both are equally known for liking hammer spikes!
#43
Plot twist with a punchline
Why did the construction worker build a library when asked to build the world's largest storied building? Because he thought a library would have many stories!
#44
Nailed the Perfect Playlist
Which band do construction workers love listening to the most? They absolutely love 'The Carpenters'.
#45
Nailed it, no cap
What did the assistant do when the head constructor asked him to join two pieces of wooden logs together?
He simply nailed it!
#46
Solid advice, not stone-cold facts
What did the chief constructor say to his juniors on their first day at work? "Marble is a fine stone but never ever take it for granite!"
#47
Cutting edge vision skills
"How was I able to cleanly cut a log of wood in two equal halves just by looking at it? I simply saw it!"
#48
Clash of the Trades
What happens when a hairdresser and a carpenter start arguing? It eventually leads to both going at each other with hammer and tongs!
#49
When Even Walls Need a GPS
Why do you need to give directions to a brick wall?
Perhaps because it is in need of re-pointing!
#50
Working on Big Ben? No pressure.
What did the chief engineer instruct during the construction of Big Ben? He asked workers to work right under the clock.
Russell Bowman 3 years ago
By the way ... "Big Ben" is the hourly striking bell (13.5 tons) it is inside the Elizabeth Tower.
#51
The Hammer’s Got Jokes
What happens when you press the button for the automatic hammer? It sings out, 'You can't touch this'!
#52
Plot twist: You’re the scaffolding now
What happens when you drive beneath an under-construction overpass? You are supposedly under construction!
#53
Nailed It, But Heard It Wrong
Why did the nosey roofer do such a bad job?
He kept eavesdropping.
#54
When Work and Heart Collide
A construction worker falls madly in love with a beautiful woman. At first, he isn’t sure how to talk to her. One day he decides to use his job skills to win her over. All he has to do is build up his confidence, hammer home his feelings, and try not to screw it up. He just might nail it.
#56
Wise words, questionable craftsmanship
"My grandfather always used to say, “as one door closes, another one opens.” Great guy but a terrible carpenter."
#57
Plot Twist: Veggies Hating Plumbers Too
What are plumber’s least favourite vegetables?
Leeks.
#58
Solid alibi, no cracks
Why was the concreter discharged after being accused of murder? There was no concrete evidence.
#59
Flattering People One Roll at a Time
"I knew a guy who operated a steamroller for a living. He was known to be quite good with flattery."
#60
Tick Tock, Props to You
"I respectfully applaud the workers who dedicate themselves to the construction of Big Ben. They really work around the clock."
#61
Stop scrolling, I’m psychic
"No one believes that I was able to cut through wood by staring at when I was a kid. But trust me, I saw it with my own eyes!"
#62
Proof these ants party harder than you
How do you know if you have an issue with carpenter ants? There are tiny beer cans scattered all over the site.
#63
Waiting on that contractor like...
"How many contractors does it take to screw in a light bulb? I'll let you know when one of them calls me back."
#64
Foundations Built to Last
"I saw two construction workers laughing together today. I know what they were building... Friendship."
#65
When Lunch Break Turns Divine
A nun overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day... The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says: "Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?" One worker stands up and yells to everyone on the site: "Hey! Has anyone here ever heard of Jesus Christ?" Another worker shouts back: "Why?" The first worker says: "Because his mom's here with his lunch!"
#66
Plot twist nobody saw coming
A blind man walks into a bar...
...and now the construction crew is in trouble for leaving their scaffolding stacked in the middle of the sidewalk.
#67
Well, That’s One Way To Quit Traffic
"I saw the strangest protest sign driving to work today. I know all the construction can be inconvenient but seriously, "End Road Work"?"
#68
That’s why tool names matter
A man worked at construction site and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture. His wife, furious, comes to the hospital. "What happened?!" "Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..." "And then what?! You didn't catch it?" "As matter of fact, I did catch it. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."
#69
Plot twist: barking up the job ladder
A dog in a hard hat walks into a bar. The dog says "I'll have a beer. I'm on lunch break from the construction site across the street." The bartender says "Wow, a talking dog! You should join the circus!" The dog replies "Why? Do they need construction workers?"
#70
Consider me officially bamboozled
How do you confuse a construction worker?
Put a spade and a shovel in the corner, then tell him to take his pick!!
#71
Pun level: Expert
What can you call a snake that loves building houses? You call it a boa constructor!
#72
Mind Your Own Blueprint
Why was the busybody constructor very poor in his work? Because he was always meddling in someone else's business!
#73
Build, bark, repeat
Which animals can be good construction workers? Dogs. They are good at roofing!
#74
Steady Hands, No Excuses
What is the advice that carpenters are given from their first day?
They are taught 'Nails can fail, but the hammer shouldn't ever stammer'.
#75
Nailed That Pun
What did the idle carpenter say to his manager? "I am very board, it wood be best to give me some work.''
#76
Built to Debate
Why are construction workers usually experts in arguing with others? Because they are all excellent de-batters!
#77
When Roads Need a Rehab Too
What do you think if you see the sign 'Road Rehab'? You will think that the road is addicted to numerous construction work!
#78
Cap swap chaos!
What words would you hear if you remove a worker's cap and wear it on your head?
You would probably hear the Oi-SHA!
#79
Rock and roll meets hard hats
What did I do when my wife said that she loved heavy metal music? I simply took her to visit a construction site!
#80
Built to spill the tea, not the nails
What do construction workers say before they begin a job? "Let’s make sure we don’t screw this up."
#81
This Is Why You Don’t Mix Trades
Why do construction workers make bad bartenders? When you order a stiff drink, they bring you a glass full of cement.
#82
I see what you did there
Why did the plank of wood go into the bar?
He wanted to get hammered.
#83
Dad jokes hit different here
What is a builder's favourite book? “Tighten a Drill Bit” by Chuck Key.
#85
When Fitness Meets DIY Drama
"I’ve started this new fad diet. You have to hit garden buildings with a hammer. I’m just looking to pound a few sheds."
#86
Contractor-level party goals
Went to a party with a construction team the other week.
They really raised the roof.
#87
Purgatory’s Just Contractor Life
Contractors don't go to Hell... They go to purgatory. Once a week Satan comes down, waves, and hollers, "Guys, don't worry. You'll be out of here next week. I promise!"
#88
Well, that escalated ear-ily
A construction worker accidentally cuts off one of his ears with an electric saw. He calls out to a guy walking on the street below, "Hey, do you see my ear down there?" The guy on the street picks up an ear and yells back, "Is this it?" "No," replies the construction worker. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
#89
Too weak to build, but strong on jokes
Me: "I had to quit my construction job because I wasn't strong enough for the work." Friend: "Did you give them your "too weak" notice?"
#90
Not your average heavy lifter
What do you call a superstitious construction vehicle that has a gross physique?
Icky-bod Crane.
#91
Math: Not This Kid’s Strong Suit
A kid is selling lemonade. The boy's sign reads 1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1 A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade. "25 cents", says the kid. The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each. As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢… Maybe lemonade stands aren't your thing." "I guess you're right" says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.
#92
Can’t Handle a Good Crack
Why are windows known to not laugh at any jokes? Because they don't really like cracking up!
#93
Tool drama nobody saw coming
Why are drills always upset for not having any friends at all? Because drills are very boring!
#94
Rare dad joke energy right here
What does a reptile carpenter in the Jurassic age use for cutting wood?
He probably used a dino-saw!
#95
Nailed That Tune
Which song does a carpenter listen to the most? He listens to Opeth's 'Windowpane'!
#96
Talk about smooth moves
What do you call someone driving the road roller? He is an absolute flatterer!
#97
Digging that pun hard
What did the worker say about his favorite tool? He said a shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
#98
Science class just got wild
What is the main difference between a construction site and a bar of magnet?
A construction site has many poles, while a magnet has only two!
#99
Not just winging it, literally
How does a mechanical engineer react if a hammer is thrown towards him? He ducts!
#100
Nailed the pun, did you?
What does one feel when they see a lot of lame construction jokes? It makes them very board!
#101
Nailing It, No Pressure
What does a construction manager tell his workers? He usually tells them to nail the delivery!
#102
Speechless Without the Bits
Why couldn't I say anything when a worker asked me to comment on his tools?
It was due to the fact that I didn't have any drill bits!
#103
Should’ve Seen That Coming
Why was I unable to get construction supplies at the store? Because they said that it was under construction!
#104
Puns That Won\'t Budge You
Why couldn't the worker open a restaurant named 'The Crowbar'? It isn't easy to open a crowbar.
#105
Dating someone who literally had your back rolled
"I used to date a steam-roller driver. She was such a flatterer."
#106
Timing is everything, apparently
"I’m working on a joke about road construction. Give me a few months to lay it all out."
#107
Well, That Could’ve Been Worse
"Today at the construction site we had an accident. I was hit in the head by a can. Lucky for me it was a soft drink."
#108
When Time Sheets Decide Your Lifespan
This contractor guy dies in a tragic accident on his 40th birthday. He ascends to heaven where he’s greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band and Saint Peter. Saint Peter shakes the guy's hand warmly and says “Congratulations!” The contractor is a little confused. “Congratulations for what?” he asks. “Congratulations for what!?” says Saint Peter. “We’re celebrating the fact you lived to the grand old age of 160.” The contractor says, “But that’s not right – I only lived to be 40.” “That’s impossible,” says Saint Peter. “We added up your time sheets!”
#109
Classic Dad Joke Energy
A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?” The construction worker says, “One beer for me, and one for the road.”
#110
When You Wish They’d Just Use a Cone
Seven construction men are all working at the roadside…
That’s the joke…
#111
Work Boots, Surprisingly Riveting
"I didn’t expect much from the movie about construction workers, but it was actually quite riveting."
#112
When “Blueprint” Gets Literal
"My manager asked me for a blueprint, so I stuck my hand in blue ink and pressed my palm on his desk."
#113
Well, that’s one way to mix drinks
A construction worker walks into a bar and orders a “stiff drink” after work. 5 minutes later, the bartender brings him a glass filled to the brim with cement.
#114
The Only Fund That Grows on Trees
What do you call a landscaper’s bank account?
A hedge fund.
#116
Lawn Goals, No Regrets
"In future I’ll just use the same landscaper I used last year. He was really easy to get a lawn with."
#117
This One Tapped Into My Soul
What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers? A skeptic tank.
#118
Plot twist: the plumber’s germaphobe side
What is the definition of disgusting?
Seeing a plumber bite his nails.
#119
Guess I’m built for this
"I took a quiz about construction work. I screwed it up. I took it again and I nailed it."
#120
Glass half ouch
What did the window glazier say when he cut himself on the window glass? "This is extremely paneful."
#121
Sealant Showdowns Are Off-Limits
Why can't contractors shoot each other with sealant? Because caulk fighting is illegal.
#122
Empty threats don’t teach lessons
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got." John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
#123
Pro Moves, Not So Much
A construction worker walks into a bar.
His friends start laughing at how not careful he is.
#124
That joke really broke me
Why was the worker sad when a newly constructed window broke? Because it was very pane-ful for the worker.
#125
Blueprints, but make it personal
Why is a construction worker usually known to put his fingers in blue colored paint? Because he wants to check the blueprint!
#126
Finally, a Bible We Can Tighten To
Which book is the Bible for all constructors? The book named 'Knowing How To Tighten the Drill' by Chuck Keys!
#127
When Workouts Double as Woodshop Therapy
How does a worker plan his gym routine?
He hammers the logs, which help him pound a couple of shreds!
#128
Timing is everything, apparently
What did the stand-up comic say about his road construction joke? He could only lay it for everyone in some time.
#129
When the case was totally cemented in doubt
Why was the accused worker discharged by the court? Because they couldn't find any concrete evidence against him!
#130
Sawing wisdom: less push, more pull
What do you say to an amateur worker having difficulty with the saw? "If you can pull it, then don't bother pushing it".
#131
Family puns never get old
What did the old log of wood say to the new wood which was currently being sawed?
He said, "You are just a chip off the old block."
#132
Nailed the Ship-Shape Comeback
What did the worker say when the customer enquired as to whether the wooden ship will be reverted to its original shape? "Don't worry at all. Everything will be in ship-shape."
#133
Building Paw-sibilities
What construction work would dogs do? They would usually work on woofs!
#134
Relatable Holiday Hustle Energy
Why is Christmas day just like a day at a construction site? You end up doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit takes all the credit.
#135
Plot twist: Tools in the wild
"I went into my local DIY superstore yesterday and said to a member of staff, “Where can I find some hammers, nails, a trowel and a bag of cement?" He replied, “They’re all under ‘Construction’.” I said, “Oh, well where will they be when they’re finished?”"
#136
Innocent Until Proof Hits
Construction worker discharged after accusation of murder.
There was no concrete evidence.
#137
Wait, since when did I become a market analyst?
Getting old is weird, because there’ll be things you notice that you didn’t realize you were paying attention to… There’ll be a building going up. And you find yourself thinking "There’s no way the economy’s strong enough right now to support the completion of this construction project…"
#138
Plumbers Know Their Limits
How many plumbers does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to grab a beer and one to call the electrician.
#139
When strength checks out early
Jeffrey left his job in construction as he wasn’t able to carry the scaffolding. He handed in his too-weak notice.
#140
Literal much?
It was a hot summer's day when the foreman of a building site came back from a meeting to find one of his workers painting the building as he had been instructed, but he was wearing 2 rain jackets. The foreman says to him "why on earth are you wearing two rain jackets, it is a hot day and not even raining!" The worker replies "the instructions on the paint can said to make sure that you use two coats."
#141
Faith in thicker coats only
A priest hires a contractor to paint his house. The contractor thins out his paints using water hoping to stretch out his supply, so the final product ends up quite lacking. When the priest confronts him about it, he apologizes and asks if the priest would like him to redo everything. The priest tells him, "Repaint, and thin no more."
#142
When Turf Meets Turf War
"I was watching some construction workers today outside my office building. They were laying down a bunch of grass. I saw a forklift come in carrying rolls of grass, when all of a sudden, a huge bulldozer came out of nowhere and crashed full speed into the forklift. Both the driver of the forklift and the grass went flying... It was quite the horrific sight indeed...all I could think was, "Poor sod...""
#143
Puns That Totally Weld You In
What did the happy construction worker like attaching steel pipes with one another?
Because he found that the work was very riveting!
#144
Drain the drama, please
Why did the plumber leave fixing drains? Because the work was too draining for him!
#145
Missed the Red Flags, Classic
What did the constructor owner say when he realized that his workers were stealing things from the site? He said, "I can't believe I missed it, but the signs were pretty clear."
#146
Never thought a pun could haul this hard
What do you call someone who transports construction site materials from one place to another? You call him a screw-driver!
#147
Well, That’s Ironic
Why did the underwater construction company close down?
Perhaps because they went under!
#148
Not quite nailed the punchline yet
Why did the constructor shy away from making construction jokes? Because the joke still needed some work!
#149
Building trust (and cash) one branch at a time
"My uncle is a general contractor primarily focused on the construction of new branch locations for credit unions and other financial institutions. He makes bank."
#150
Didn’t Say I Wanted a Mini Makeover
"I hired a contractor. He came to the house and made everything smaller."
#151
Plot Twist: More Pylons, Please
What does a construction worker resort to when his primary goal fails?
He always has additional pylons to help him out!
#152
This Pun Will Rock Your Countertop
Did you hear about the contractor who abused the offer for a free kitchen countertop? He took it for granite.
#153
When cobblestones just won’t cut it
This guy lives in a bad neighborhood and every night, when he walks home, he grabs a couple of cobblestones in each hand, for protection from thieves and muggers. After some time, there is a pile of cobblestones outside his home. His contractor neighbor notices and asks, "What's up with all these rocks?" Guy responds, "Oh, they're the cobblestones I use to protect myself when coming home." Neighbor thinks for a few seconds and says, "I think we have enough rocks for a full fence here. Next time, when you come home, fill up some socks with some sand."
#154
Not Fired, Just Playing Hard to Get
A carpenter walks onto a job site of a large company and hands the foreman his application. The foreman begins to scan the sheet and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he ever had. “I must say,” says the foreman, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every job.” “Yes,” says the carpenter. “Well,” continues the foreman, “there’s not much positive in that.” “Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter.”
Why Are Construction Memes So Funny?
Construction workers have taught us how to build something beautiful and take it apart. Their hilarious antics and sometimes terrifying building choices provide endless entertainment. It’s important to take these under-construction memes with a pinch of salt but also learn from the amazing contractors out there. Get started with these awesome construction tips to try and DIY home renovation ideas. If you don’t do it well, who knows, maybe you’ll become the subject of construction jokes someday!
What do you think ?
Clearwater Concrete 3 months ago
This collection delivers a hefty dose of construction humor—spanning puns, memes, one-liners, and even some cheeky, risqué jokes that lean into the 'dad joke' territory. It’s a playful reminder that the everyday chaos of hardhats and hi-vis can be goldmines for laughter. Get more details about Stamped Concrete Clearwater
Port Saint Lucie Concrete 5 months ago
Thanks for the laughs! These construction jokes really made our day. We spend a lot of time working on concrete patio Port Saint Lucie jobs, so it’s fun to unwind with something light like this. Humor and hard hats really do go together—keep the jokes coming! Check for more info https://www.portsaintlucieconcretecontractor.com/
Augusta Concrete 5 months ago
Thanks for the laughs! These jokes really brightened our day. We work on concrete driveway Augusta projects, and this kind of fun makes our tough jobs feel a little lighter. Appreciate you sharing the humor—it helps us keep smiling while we build! View for more details https://www.augustagaconcretecontractor.com/
Clearwater Concrete 3 months ago
This collection delivers a hefty dose of construction humor—spanning puns, memes, one-liners, and even some cheeky, risqué jokes that lean into the 'dad joke' territory. It’s a playful reminder that the everyday chaos of hardhats and hi-vis can be goldmines for laughter. Get more details about Stamped Concrete Clearwater
Port Saint Lucie Concrete 5 months ago
Thanks for the laughs! These construction jokes really made our day. We spend a lot of time working on concrete patio Port Saint Lucie jobs, so it’s fun to unwind with something light like this. Humor and hard hats really do go together—keep the jokes coming! Check for more info https://www.portsaintlucieconcretecontractor.com/
Augusta Concrete 5 months ago
Thanks for the laughs! These jokes really brightened our day. We work on concrete driveway Augusta projects, and this kind of fun makes our tough jobs feel a little lighter. Appreciate you sharing the humor—it helps us keep smiling while we build! View for more details https://www.augustagaconcretecontractor.com/
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