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One of the best things about becoming a father is getting a power-up: you now intuitively know how to crack goofy puns. Whether there’s a family crisis or the household’s mood is plummeting, it’s always there, ready at their disposal to make our eyes roll.
While dads are essentially the embodiment of a cringe-fest, there’s something undeniably charming about the way they go about life. Enter the Classic Dad Moves Instagram page.
From dads goofing around the BBQ to spot-on dad memes that all dads undoubtedly will chuckle at, this page is truly “saving the world one dad joke at a time”.
Prepare to roll your eyes, dear pandas, because we hand-picked the dandiest of them all.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Dawn Marie 2 years ago
I sure wish I knew about these wonderful gentlemen about 20 years ago. My son was petrified testifying against his father. He was 4 years old at the time. After many years of therapy, he is now a flier in the Air Force and is doing beautifully.
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
i saw them in action on tv, escorting a little girl to the tribunal, one of the most strange/comforting thing i see :) <3
Ah, the enigmatic energy of dads with their terrible, terrible yet wholesome puns. Believe it or not, in 2019, the term 'dad joke' made its way into Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary as "a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny." But as in all art forms, can we pin down dad humor to a single, limited definition?
As Stanley Dubinsky, a Professor of Linguistics at the University of South Carolina and the father of two boys, explains, it's not so simple. "Dads are, in our culture, entrusted with teaching some of these things to their children, and one might think of dad jokes as a kind of 'introduction to humor,'" he told Bored Panda in an email. "They’re dad jokes because they’re unsophisticated, but they’re unsophisticated because children are just beginning to learn how humor works."
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#2
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
If he wants to come sort mine out I won't object! He jungle out back is a bigger job than I anticipated
Dad jokes, we are told, often utilize the power of ambiguity or double entendre to add humor to their punchlines. "What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?” “Supplies!” Sure, the setup of this joke is quite obvious, with a couple of letters substituted with near-sounding ones. However, there are some which require more effort on the wordplay, considering the age (and generation) of your audience. Prepare to roll your eyes: 'What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!'
"I don’t think that dads explicitly and consciously frame dad jokes for their audience," Dubinsky said. "Rather, in the same way that we avoid complicated nuanced words with children (pointing out a 'horse' rather than a 'mare' or a 'stallion'), we make humor legible for children to help onboard them into that world."
#3
Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
I love this, please people, dont feel ashamed by your parents
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
and never never never never be embarrassed to show your feelings to them and to people you love, time flies so quickly
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Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
Used to be totally mortified as a teenager when I would go shopping with my Mum. She'd be pushing that cart around and singing along to the muzak playing in the background. Worse, she'd burst into song with NO music playing! And the woman was a professional singer, so she was killing it. Now, I'm almost 60 and she's 85 and we duet :-)
#4
Sooploosh MacSchnibble 2 years ago
Godzilla in this movie was the only time the character ever acted out of true malice.
pocwaddler 2 years ago
The sounds of my childhood mornings were the coffee percolator, and the horrible hacking cough as my dad lit up his first cigarette of his three packs a day habit.
Vic 2 years ago
The sky is too bright for 5 am.. maybe that's the joke.. 🤔
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Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
It low key sounds like my boss at work, without the farts I guess
#5
David Wambold 2 years ago
Why don't you start by clearing out that quarry no one has touched for a century. I'll get you a shovel.
I give up on society 2 years ago
True, but to be fair my granddad installed a ton of basic skills that still serve me to this day.
Adam Zad 2 years ago
🎶 You load 16 tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt. 🎶
Duane Johnston 2 years ago
Should have grown up in my Era. Every weekend mow front and back lawns lengthwise and widthwise. Edge entire property...with hand clippers and don't miss around the sprinklers. Then he waters with a hose.
ShadowStalker36 2 years ago
if I want to get out of doing it, and I don't mind him getting PISSED at me I'll ask "Is that in dad time or normal time?"
But helping kids understand the appeal and rules of humor is not the only good thing about dad jokes. According to recent research conducted by Marc Hye-Knudsen, a humor researcher from Aarhus University, dad jokes can actually play a role in helping children develop the ability to handle embarrassment and grow into self-assured adults.
#6
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
"c'est pas versailles ici !!!" (it's not the castel of Versailles here) the sentence my GenX french head heard aaaaall my childhood :D
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Wow. French makes even complaining about the bathroom light sound better.
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Cuppa tea? 2 years ago
In my family was my dad whou would leave light in in WC or bathroom. Oh, he closed door, so light won't leak on corridor.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I now live with my dad again and he leaves the kitchen light on most nights (it's on the way to the bathroom).
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Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
Every morning, my son turns his bedroom light on instead of drawing his curtains. The sun is much brighter and free. I don't get it!
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Unless it makes your house hotter and then you've got to run the air more. We keep certain blinds and doors closed bc the sun makes them so hot. Maybe he's saving you money?
Load More Replies... #7
Dawn Marie 2 years ago
Stephanie, I'm with you!! What the H E double toothpicks?? That's a TIL!!! I was always told loud noise would scared the fish so I will cast as far as I can from the boat or bank. I am 59 frigging years old for goodness sake!!
Kata H 2 years ago
But this one is true, loud noises drive the fish away (even though I am pretty sure, that the other reason is just as important :D )
#8
Biofish23 2 years ago
I have giant children, I have never once lied that my kid is younger than they are, because I start getting very skeptical looks a year or two before my kids hit the age limit. When I took my 2 year old to Disney (under 3 are free) day one I was hassled both times going in the gate. The rest of the vacation I insisted my very tall husband push her stroller in and at least they believed him.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Both my parents did this and I was more than happy to play along. I think even when we went to the gold coast for my brothers make-a-wish I was '12' when I was 14.
Jayne Brown 2 years ago
Happened to me. On holiday in the US, went to Niagara and a day trip over the border. Coach tour of the city. Kids under 13 were half price. My mum stepped heavily on my foot. I was nearly 19.
Passerby 2 years ago
My dad once successfully convinced someone that I was 12 just for a discount. For reference, I was in my early 20s at the time and 175 cm tall. I suspect that they felt it was easier not to argue with my dad, the sentiment which I can understand, as he can be quite stubborn (the trait that I also inherit)
Monday 2 years ago
Reverse of that...my dad made fun of me for months after we went out to lunch when I was 22 and I got handed a kids menu.
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Turns out, by regularly hearing these cringey jokes, children can build up a higher tolerance for embarrassment, which can ultimately have a positive impact on their personal growth. The repetitive nature of hearing the same joke over and over also helps children develop endurance. "They show their children that embarrassment isn’t fatal. For a child who is approaching or has entered adolescence, which appears to be a sensitive period for sociocultural processing, this is an immensely valuable lesson," Hye-Knudsen writes.
#9
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
Ha my dad 🙈 up since 5am waiting to tell us that hes up early then goes to have a nap
Ariadne Toms 2 years ago
hahahahaha apparently getting up early cos you can't sleep is virtuous
Pancake_Pansexual_Panda 2 years ago
My Asian dad. He be like: I dRovE yoU to sChool and yOu gEt a 91% aS your mAth grade?! Aiya! FAILURE! lol.
#10
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I was a cashier for 2 years, I'm not saying that I killed anyone for saying that line, but I've never seen someone again after they said it...
Load More Replies... Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
oh m god, i'm a dad... even if i'm a woman, I heard myself say that joke once
Arthur Waite 2 years ago
To be fair - The store's job includes making sure the objects for sale have a price showing in a reasonable fashion. So, if they fail at that, there should be a punishment. . . So, I propose that a 'median' price be applied to unlabelled objects. Say, Two Dollars, (or Pounds, Euros, etc.) That way, the store doesn't lose out completely, and they get a lesson in 'storesmanship'. And that joke dies, forever.
#11
Passerby 2 years ago
Wait, that's a thing? There is a find-my-remote button?
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Jared Robinson 2 years ago
a lot and I mean A LOT of men will swear that they aren't sitting on the remote, until they get up and find it under their a*s where it had been the whole time.
meow point1 2 years ago
Once, when I was a kid, the cat and I were watching TV, then Dad went in, wanting to change the channel. He asked where the remote was and if it was under me. I said no, then suggested it was under the cat. He replied, "No, I don't think so; I think it's under you." SMH
However, why does this type of humor make us cringe like no other combination of syllables? "Dad jokes and their relevance for children come apart when they’re used between adults. In those cases, we tend to use them to be silly, to relax the conversational mood, or sometimes to be annoying," Dubinsky admitted, noting that deep down most fathers understand they're embarrassing to their kids, which makes dad jokes even more effective.
#12
David 2 years ago
too soon - after that guy just shot those girls for turning around in his driveway because they accidentally drove up the wrong drive.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
UGH, my former sister in law. A teacher from the school up the street parked her car in front of the house so it wouldn't get locked in the school's lot while she was chaperoning a field trip (3 days). My SIL LOST IT when she came home to find a car parked in "her" spot - which was a public street. She ranted like a psychopath & called the police to have it towed. All the while my brother is explaining that anyone has a right to park there as it is A PUBLIC STREET. The cops basically just laughed at her and hung up. The teacher had informed my brother and several of the neighbors as to why she was leaving her car there, as well as leaving a note on the dash with her contact info in case of emergency. Luckily, SIL was at work when the teacher came & got her car. I was so glad when my brother divorced her.
Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
At least people didn't park in front of your garage so they can go to the hair saloon
I give up on society 2 years ago
This just clicked in my brain. I did this once when my daughter came home at 5am with her bf.
#13
James016 2 years ago
It adds up. My local Tesco charge 142.9p per litre. Costco charge 134.9p Makes all the difference
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, my car takes 12 gallons to fill up - which I only need to do about once a month. Even 10 cents cheaper only adds up to $1.20 in savings. Not really worth shopping around.
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
Clare Michigan is consistently .20 cheaper than our town 30 miles away. Even after doing the math, it's tempting.
KWilly 2 years ago
Same with Oscoda MI and Tawas MI. Tawas is always .10-.20 cheaper- so whenever I need to go to the store, I try to coincide with my gas tank!!!
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The Original Bruno 2 years ago
WHAT???? What's the point even? You pretty much HAVE to do a trash run anyway! They must love rats where you live!
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Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
Never be the first one! Always take the weekly garbage bin first so you can discreetly check out the neighbours to see if it is time for the fortnightly yellow recycling bin, or the alternate green garden waste bin. Definitely minus points if the wrong bin goes out on the street.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
Then there's my husband rushing outside with the bins last minute as he saw the bin men coming up the street
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I'm too lazy for that s**t. But when I tried leaving them out, I eventually got a letter from the city threatening to fine me. This is why I don't live somewhere with an HOA, and now the damn Citi. So now I pull them up and back as often as I can get the energy.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
lol i'm the opposite, I know I've got until everyone else has theirs out then mine can go.
"Clearly, dad jokes don’t have the same utility among adults who have acquired a sophisticated ability to parse jokes, and so the act of using them in such company usually carries more connotations than the meaning of the joke itself," Dubinsky said. "If people groan, they may do so out of annoyance. Or perhaps because they’re supposed to groan – and thereby acknowledge that they have understood the tacit agenda behind using one."
#15
Isabelle Lamarque 2 years ago
My dad used to work on cargo ships until I was born. Every year we'd go to the UK by ferry and he'd stand outside on the deck almost the entire time, rain or sunshine. 🥰 He misses the sea but has always said that he'd missed me more if he'd continued his sealife ❤️🥰
Bobert Robertson 2 years ago
Ah, so he traded his seamen for his sem.... well, you.
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Blue Chambers 2 years ago
I am confused as well. I think it would make sense if there was a lot of dads looking?
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detective miller's hat 2 years ago
My dad was captain of his own sailboat, he knows what he's doing.
#16
David 2 years ago
Under 30s who think 30 is old are in for such a rude surprise when they hit 50 or 60 and dream of their spry, energy filled 30s. :)
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Hell I'm 50 and I can happily watch an entire movie in one sitting. Just don't ask me to mow my entire yard in one go :P
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Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
LOVE news hour (PBS) as they dive pretty deep on issues, but 5 minutes into a report and...
#17
Ruth Harper 2 years ago
My dad, except the second is with historical figures. He used to say he wouldn't remember someone's name until they were dead at least 50 years.
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
Yeah have same friends passed 27 years who my dad seen atleaat 5/6 times week, no idea of there names.. hes a fisherman so he knows the weather better than he knows his kids 🌧
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My dad has to watch the weather to see if the days rain in the city was more or less than we got at our place! He has been keeping a rain log for at least as long as I've been alive.
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
My dad never remembers names unless they're actors' names. Not the characters' names, the actors'. Nobody ever knows who he's talking about and vice versa.
#18
Susan Robinson 2 years ago
I am more unsettled by the thought of my underwear staring at me more than anything… 😬
#19
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I've said this before, but I live in Florida so it bears repeating. What is this "cold" you speak of?
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
Better too cold than too hot imo. If you're cold, you can add layers or work out. If you're too hot you can't just take off all your clothes (typically)
Shelli Aderman 2 years ago
In a two-mom, perimenopausal hoise, you can bet your bottom dollar that all the kids hear is, “Do NOT touch that AC! Grab a sweater!” 🤣
Rinso the Red 2 years ago
It's winter. Even inside, you shouldn't expect to get away with shorts and t-shirt year round
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Friend has kids that complain it's cold in the middle of winter. You look in their room and the fan is on and the window is open. *sigh*
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#20
#21
A girl 2 years ago
I have a two visit per store per day rule. Also have three hardware stores about the same distance. I have visited all three on the same day/project.
Kelly F 2 years ago
2nd visit has to after shift change. Can't have the same staff members see me twice in one day.
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#23
Scott Rackley 2 years ago (edited)
Yes. Gotta have the 40 yr old garage fridge though for proper crispiness
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My dad doesn't drink alcohol or own a bbq! I don't know if he even eats steak
#24
#25
Bored Axolotl 2 years ago
My dad is the only one in our family that will stay asleep till 10 am if he feels tired.
Load More Replies... Kevin the Manager 2 years ago
Wait, is he using his laser Cyclops vision to propel himself through the flip?
#26
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
This doesn't apply to my dad but does to my stepdad. Even when he and my mum were together my dad would have gone through the catalogues and made a list.
#27
Susan Robinson 2 years ago
Jesus…I just did this the other day at Family Dollar when the toilet paper wouldn’t scan
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
.....or "did you find everything ok?" me: "nope could not find the free money aisle"
Jane Hower 2 years ago
Check out clerks HATE that one, they hear it all the time and IT"S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!!! STOP
AtMostTheFabulist 2 years ago
I tell them I am going to charge them double for making me work harder.
#28
Jason 2 years ago
Would also be a picture of my wallet empty. Any other dads around to have a discussion on the current and trending lumber prices. I mean have you seen the cost of some 3/4in plywood lately
M O'Connell 2 years ago
During the pandemic lockdown I had to make a bookcase out of MDF! There was literally nothing else available. All the good Canadian plywood was gone and there were just damaged and warped sheets of Chilean stuff left.
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#30
Timothy Shallahamer 2 years ago
Pandas over 21 hear me out. You get to the airport 3+ hours early, check your bags, then bar hop your way to your flight. It's a life changing experience.
SaraJean 2 years ago
I get there 3 hours early just for the drinks. Most of the 5am - 7am bartenders also come with a very heavy hand.
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
When going on a trip, my Dad was always VERY early. Would sit in the car and honk to hurry Mom along....she wouldn't drag her feet just for spite..would she?
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I would always be in the car with my dad waiting! My mum and sister both would hold us up, probably because of their ADHD. No idea where my brother was...probably still playing N65 because he knew they would take another hr!
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#31
Timothy Shallahamer 2 years ago
All the hate for Sam Adams... I will forever stan Sam Adams Summer Ale. It's the most light, crisp, refreshing beer in the world.
Rostit . 2 years ago
Sam Adams is fine. So is yuengling and whatever else people like. Beer snobs are lame.
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Rostit . 2 years ago
usually its people with little self esteem so they need to have an identity through a product. ie the whiny bud light people, or the people in this thread.
Load More Replies... Isa's left eye 2 years ago
Oh no! Someone has different preferences than you! Boo hoo
Load More Replies... #32
LesAnimaux 2 years ago
My dad uses a mobility aid, but he speedwalks anyway. And when he has decided on a route, we all clear the path for him like it's some weird game of curling. I love my dad though 🥰
bi_mushr00m 2 years ago
other way round for me, my family usually has to keep up with me, they call me a New York walker.
#33
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
When we were teens we did it. Now I live with dad again he does it but only has an electric mower that won't do the whole lawn in one go. I want to get rid of the lawn, then we won't have to do it at all.
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Jane Hower 2 years ago
My DIL saw a neighbor mowing his grass as the ground rolled up and down during the SF earthquake. wow
#34
Chris B 2 years ago
Nope, that's the dad line, kids aren't allowed to use that one. That and 'can I get this to go?' when my plate is empty
contre kems 2 years ago
My dad would always say to the waiters: "Now I'm ready to order the steak", after a copious meal, when they check if we're ready to pay.
Kevin the Manager 2 years ago
I prefer the, "I'm still working on it" line when the plate is empty and they offer to "clear some room."
#35
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
I actually enjoy chopping my own firewood (when there's an opportunity, about once every 5 years)
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
I happily hold my hands up to this one. Yesterday, I found a skip filled with logs. I honestly felt like popping the champagne lol.
#36
Jason 2 years ago (edited)
I did upgrade my son's power wheel to use 18v batteries and rubber wheels. He can wheelie down the driveway in it
Auntie Panda 2 years ago
As Mom is pulling into the driveway:"Let's keep out hot wheels ra e in the storm our secret".
#37
#38
Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
In theory our short-term memory can recall 7-items. Our wives know this, but after we remember the beer, the chips, newspaper, fill up with fuel, check the tyres, and clean the windscreen, then check on the specials at Bunnings - well it does get tricky.
James Doe 2 years ago
Maximum 4 in my case. Tested and proven. (Doesn't stop me from finding a solution though: digital shared grocery list, in our case a telegram group with just the two of us)
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#40
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
Turn it off, you will kill us all 🙈 think 1980s parents really did believe this
M O'Connell 2 years ago
If it is completely dark outside and the interior light is on, all I can see is the dashboard and front seats reflected on the inside of the windshield. I would like to be able to see the road?!
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#42
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My dad doesn't like pizza. He may not have ever tried it though because it has melted cheese. (Hard to tell if his food problems come from ASD or his upbringing in country Australia in the 60s)
#45
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Reminds me of Putt Putt goes to the Parade. To earn money for something you had to mow lawns in specific patterns.
#47
#52
M O'Connell 2 years ago
Someone has added the New Balance logo to it, thereby making it 'dad footwear'
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#54
#55
Fish Fingers 2 years ago
I don't think I understand half these, if I'm being honest...
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What do you think ?
Timothy Shallahamer 2 years ago
I feel like you made the same joke about 5 times, and also some of these are super confusing. You could probably trim this listicle down to ~20 items and have it hit harder by only keeping the best. Just my opinion.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
A bit too heavy on the stereotypical beer-drinking, home depot Dad.
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Memes are less effective when the image is supposed to be a GIF. I don't mind this list, but it should be done with memes that aren't supposed to be GIFs.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I wondered that too. I know other websites that do that so they must have decided to follow. Maybe something to do with getting more ads in, or they just don't have enough new content so want you to read stuff from months ago?
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Timothy Shallahamer 2 years ago
I feel like you made the same joke about 5 times, and also some of these are super confusing. You could probably trim this listicle down to ~20 items and have it hit harder by only keeping the best. Just my opinion.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
A bit too heavy on the stereotypical beer-drinking, home depot Dad.
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Memes are less effective when the image is supposed to be a GIF. I don't mind this list, but it should be done with memes that aren't supposed to be GIFs.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I wondered that too. I know other websites that do that so they must have decided to follow. Maybe something to do with getting more ads in, or they just don't have enough new content so want you to read stuff from months ago?
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