“White Collar Humor”: 50 Work Memes That Might Make You Laugh, Then Cry

Ooo. Thats how i reply to satisfaction surveys!

I routinely recommend everyone NOT to use win 11

One half of a duopoly. You're either a Windows or a Mac user. Either way, the version you use is not up to you.

Lotekguy

Lotekguy

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

"Have you accepted Windows 10 into your heart? Would you like a pamphlet"?

Corporate Self-Awareness... so close, yet so far away. I have actually got up in the middle of an interview, and said "No thank you. It is obvious that you were not truthful in your posting. And you are wasting my time and pissing me off. Pound sand." A week later, I received a call asking me for a follow-up interview, with HR. I accepted for curiosity reasons. I shite you not, they actually handed me a "Write Up" for me to sign; Improper Conduct during an Interview. And when I laughed and replied "Are you all f-ing. high, or just f-ing. crazy? I do not f-ing work here, you jackholes!" They said, and I quote; "Well, if you ever plan on working here, you will need to sign this." End quote. I tore in half, tossed it towards them, told what they could do with that and themselves, and walked out laughing. A security guard, was waiting when I got downstairs, told I was not allowed to leave yet, and I just kept walking. Definitely a weird interview.

Another piece of legislation that we citizens should lobby for: making it mandatory to post the minimum salary on job opening descriptions.

I always tell interviewers I’m applying to their place bc I’m looking for a salary increase. No one seems to have a problem with this answer. This time around I’m including, and I want benefits. And the salaries and benefits are posted just for that reason. They want to attract good candidates with money. Seems like a no brainer.

"We do this so people won't apply just for the money!" Then you need to include the fact that you're only accepting applications from trust fund babies so real workers aren't wasting their time on you.

I got one that told me I was not qualified for the job. It was a copy of my last job description that I had to write for my boss. Hard to believe I was not qualified. Total waste of my time for that application submission.

80 hours? In Europe that's fortnight. And it public service even less.

Its exploitation.

I hate it here. (U.S., obvs.)

I mean... I get it and all, but just don't be surprised when the people who put in more effort tend to bubble up to the top. (So will the occasional nephew, but that's a whole 'nother discussion)

I'm going to take this as - They're a full time stay at home mum, that's one hell of a job in itself, therefore they're not working so how can they pay halves on the rent? (Btw seen it happen firsthand)

That's not your husband. It's your john.

Context. If OP is a stay-at-home parent, providing all or most of the house and child care, expecting them to continue to do at that at the same level and ALSO get a job and contribute financially is too much. But if both are contributing equally in that respect it isn't.

At the funeral of a member of Woodrow Wilson's administration, an office seeker approached Wilson saying, "Sir, I'd like to replace the diseased." Wilson replied, "I'll speak to the undertaker."

Made me laugh

Should probably also include an alibi.

Pity you can't spell.

sorry, we promoted from within. but we will keep your application on file for 6 months.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the interview process too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And be fired if he doesn't get it.

Lotekguy

Lotekguy

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

They might if they cared, but they don't.

And to see if they'll actually get an interview.

Evri - "We're just going to fling the package somewhere towards your home and also hope that we're on the right street" 🙄

So true. Fed Ex Ground sent our rolling air condtioner on a 7 day all inclusive tour of the Puget Sound in the middle of a heat wave. We tracked down 1/2 through the tour and begged them to just give it to us. "Oh no, it's in the middle of a pallet and we can't take that apart". "But you'll have do that anyway to put in on the truck." "So?" You bet we made the delivery guy bring it up the 12 steps and over the door frame.

No it's more like on both Amazon And Facebook: you just bought a toaster oven here are ads for 15 more,oh and here are 3 places you can get what you just bought for 20-30% less than you paid

With all due respect…

"That doesn't sound practical. Here's why..."

There seems to be a cognizant disconnect and a knowledge disruption between our divisions.

I just stop responding altogether.

"has this been prototyped anywhere, or are we just going to implement it as a result of today's meeting?"

I'd have probably put - "OCCUPATION - Professional pyjama wearer"... Reason for unemployment - "The world is apparently going to hell in a handbasket and I'd like to be comfy for it... When the Zombie Apocalypse happens? I'll change into my tactical gear."

An unapologetic thief? I'm surprised Centrelink didn't offer them a job in their robodebt division