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There is something about the distance and anonymity of the messaging that really helps people feel like they can just say whatever comes into their head. The result is that, from our direct messages and emails, to common sections across the internet (although hopefully not here), people just say whatever, with hilarious results.
So we’ve gathered some of the wildest, weirdest and most chaotic text messages people have shared and screenshotted to this group. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to message us your own thoughts in the comments section down below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Upstaged75 2 days ago
Poor Cheese! 😂 My friend's father is known as Gaga for the same reason. And I was actually known as SaSa while my little brother was a toddler, since he wasn't able to say Sarah. My parents even called me that until he learned how to pronounce it.
Nikole 2 days ago
When my brother was a toddler he used to call me "Kole" <3
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Bob Brooce 2 days ago
And Giuseppe wanted to be known as the bridge builder, but sometimes people don't define us by the things we want them to.
Dragon Ashes 16 hours ago
He's saying he's done all the tough alpha male things and now he just known as Cheese.
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#2
Am I Funny? Maybe or maybe not 2 days ago
18 millenia. I lived through the ice age and have seen the rise and fall of empires and even humanity itself.
Ugh, do I have to? 3 hours ago
Oop-- didn't see your reply when I posted mine. Not trying to copy, I promise!
Load More Replies... Ugh, do I have to? 2 days ago (edited)
18 millennia, actually. I remember when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Cheeky buggers they were.
Inigo Montoya 1 day ago
In all fairness, it could have been 18 as measured by the Maya Tzolk’in.
#3
SCP 4666 1 day ago
Your street name is Lil plus the thing in front of you. I`ll start....Lil Crispbread
Crystalwitch60 22 hours ago
Meh he ligit just said street address 😂like if you want a sensible answer ask a sensible question 😂,like what’s your address, lil marco got bants 😂
There was a time, not so long ago, when a ringing telephone was a signal of excitement or a social opportunity, but today, an unscheduled voice call feels more like a surprise SWAT raid on one’s privacy. We have officially entered the era of the Direct Message, a world where we would much rather spend twenty minutes meticulously crafting a three-sentence reply than endure thirty seconds of live, human vocal cords.
This shift hasn't just changed how we gossip about what happened on The Bachelor, it has fundamentally rewired the architecture of human intimacy and social expectation. According to a fascinating look into how we communicate in the digital age, the preference for text-based interaction over voice has skyrocketed, turning us into a civilization of digital scribes who communicate primarily through glowing rectangles and carefully selected pixels.
#4
Damned_Cat 2 days ago
That's pretty cute though. My mom thought that Google was a bunch of people in a room waiting for people to ask them questions. She would say "Go on the computer and ask them where I can buy (whatever she was thinking of)"
Dragon Ashes 16 hours ago
Fun fact, I did do exactly that as a job once. Except it was from home.
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Emilu 8 minutes ago
The Annoying Idiot that thinks it knows everything?? That jerk!! /s
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#6
UnclePanda 1 day ago
I'd run with it - her: Wait, you ate an entire pizza on the way home? him: Tracy said it was ok.
The beauty, and perhaps the horror, of the DM lies in its asynchronous nature. In a live conversation, you are forced to be interesting in real-time, which is a lot of pressure for someone who hasn’t had their coffee yet. DMs allow for the "curated self." You can pause, delete a word, reconsider your use of "lol" versus "lmao," and wait for the perfect moment to strike.
#7
Nikole 2 days ago
Same! Have you been watching Fallout? Want any gabapentin?
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Riley Quinn 10 hours ago
You know what gives me anxiety? Paying an annual membership to Amazon Prime and still having to pay for the darn movies/shows.
UnclePanda 1 day ago
I keep trying to use the latter to assuage the former. Some days I'm convinced Amazon has a wormhole in space that terminates in front of the garage door.
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 2 days ago
And I like posting stuff like this on FarceBook using a computer with MicroShaft WindBlows Wun Wun
#8
Bill Swallow 1 day ago (edited)
'Motorheads' was another one. (But 'Cylinder Heads' was RIGHT THERE!)
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Bill Swallow 1 day ago
Today, in 'Show pitches fueled by illicit pharmaceuticals, which should never have made it into production'...
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Am I Funny? Maybe or maybe not 2 days ago
Hopefully revenge for both their sakes
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Crystalwitch60 22 hours ago
Let’s hope it is real cos as a revenge text that’s NASTY 🤬n says more about the bloke than it does her !
This has led to the death of the "awkward silence," replacing it with the much more agonizing "typing…" bubble. That little grey animation is the modern equivalent of a Victorian cliffhanger, it carries the weight of a thousand unspoken thoughts, only to often result in a single "k." Research into the psychology of digital communication suggests that these small digital cues can actually trigger significant dopamine spikes or anxiety, depending on who is on the other end of the thread.
#10
Beady El 1 day ago
Great, now I gotta go to Grandma's house and take the lasagna out of the fridge...
Ghostchaplain16 3 hours ago
One hundred percent true...and you've got to beat Grandma home.
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#11
Terry Reaux 1 day ago
if that happened to be what he was doing at that very moment he was just answering her honestly though still gross 🤢
#12
Direct messaging has also birthed an entirely new linguistic dialect where punctuation is no longer a grammatical tool but a weaponized emotional signal. In the world of DMs, ending a sentence with a period doesn’t just mean the thought is finished, it means you are absolutely furious and possibly planning a disappearance. We’ve replaced body language and tone of voice with an elaborate system of emojis and GIFs.
#13
Lee Gilliland 2 days ago
I have a couple of friends I can always tell if they're in line because that's when they call.
Hellcaste's Wife 16 hours ago
My next oldest daughter would legit do this every day when she was in HS. I ratted her out to her best friend, who was so insulted she wasn't the one being texted, that she decided to start doing the same thing with me LOL
Crystalwitch60 22 hours ago
That would be me to my son 😂cos he has my sense of humour n sarcasm n I get ones like that off him to when he’s working away ,love it x
Nuku Nyara 1 day ago
This sounds totally like a text I could see my GF and her daughter in college pull off🤣🤣🤣
#14
Am I Funny? Maybe or maybe not 2 days ago
I loved that joke and I'm going to tell it to everyone I know.
GenuineJen 1 day ago
I'm adding this to my list of faves. My first favorite joke, you ask? What's Brown and sticky? A stick!! 🤣
Dragon Ashes 16 hours ago
That's a family favorite. Don't know why you're getting downvoted.
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#15
A well-placed "crying-laughing" face can bridge the gap between a joke and a potential HR violation. In fact, linguists like Gretchen McCulloch have noted in her work on internet linguistics that we are essentially recreating the nuance of physical gestures through digital symbols. We aren't getting worse at communicating, we’re just becoming extremely proficient at "textual paralanguage," which is a fancy way of saying we can now convey "I’m judging you" using only a pixelated sparkle emoji.
#16
#17
Did I say that out loud? 1 day ago
I think it's just the appetizers that are half price, hopefully the violence is free.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 days ago
I'm trying to figure out if violence was a typo and what she was intending to saying, or what violence is intended to mean.
Bec 1 day ago
We used to go to watch wrestling pay per views or football at restaurant bars, but I don't think that Applebee's is known for that.
Dragon Ashes 16 hours ago
They are here. Plenty of TVs in the Applebee's.
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#18
StrangeOne 2 days ago
XD When you just want to check in but have nothing you actually want to talk about.
However, this constant connectivity comes with the peculiar phenomenon of being "alone together." Because we are always reachable, the threshold for what constitutes a meaningful interaction has dropped. We maintain hundreds of "weak ties", those people from high school we haven't spoken to in person since the Obama administration, by occasionally liking their Instagram Stories or sending a quick "Happy Birthday" DM.
#19
#21
While this helps us maintain a massive social network, it can sometimes dilute the quality of our closest bonds. The "Seen" or "Read" receipt has become the ultimate psychological litmus test. Nothing tests the strength of a friendship quite like watching someone "Read" your heartfelt message at 2:00 PM and seeing them post a photo of their lunch at 2:05 PM without replying. It’s a brave new world of micro-rejections that our ancestors, who had to wait six weeks for a carrier pigeon, simply weren't evolved to handle.
#22
Zig Zag Wanderer 2 days ago
I honestly thought the immediate answer was zero milligrams, and that confused me!
#23
LinkTheHylian 1 day ago
*dies and gets into Heaven* "But did they really like like me?" God: "Yes." "But did they re..." God: "I swear to me... ask once more and you're going down to the Bad Place. And I don't mean Hell. I mean Florida."
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geezeronthehill 2 days ago
Each anniversary my wife would ask "So, should we try another year, or what?"
Lady Eowyn 2 days ago
Fiddler on the Roof, "do you love me?" "I'm your wife" "But do you love me". Yes, they agreed they love each other.
Bertha Madott 1 day ago
“How much do you love me?” I ask DH regularly. Celebrating our 50th anniversary this year…
#24
Emilu 2 days ago (edited)
Or just generally hopefully not if you're having it for dinner... Edit: Found the person who wants the stinky dinner!
Load More Replies...Ultimately, direct messaging has turned us into the directors of our own personal talk shows, where we can edit the script and control the broadcast schedule. It has made us more connected yet more insulated, more expressive yet more misunderstood.
#25
Am I Funny? Maybe or maybe not 2 days ago
The cats will open a fundraiser and the foolish humans will fall for it.
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#26
Inigo Montoya 1 day ago
Next message from dad should have been "You know you shouldn't be texting in a movie, that's very rude."
Load More Replies... Am I Funny? Maybe or maybe not 2 days ago (edited)
Orl Korrect, wish I was joking
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visacrum 1 day ago
Are we just going to ignore that they were (allegedly) messaging while at a movie? WORST kind of person!
#27
JB 1 day ago
That's not what love bombing is. Don't use important words like this too broadly; it dilutes their meaning and then when someone really needs it, it isn't there anymore. It would be like if we all started calling laundry "domestic abúse." Ok, great, ha ha funny joke. But what does a woman call it when she starts getting hit?
We’ve traded the warmth of a crackling phone line for the efficiency of a thumb-typed "thumbs up." Is it better? Is it worse? It’s hard to say, but as long as we can still send a GIF of a confused cat to explain our entire emotional state, human communication will continue to thrive in its own weird, silent, and slightly neurotic way. We are still the same social animals we’ve always been, we’ve just traded our tribal fires for the soft blue light of a "sliding into the DMs" notification.
#28
FranSinclair 2 days ago
My very proudly gay, 60yr old friend, Howard would describe himself in same exact way!
#29
Emilu 2 days ago
I'm pretty sure a decent percentage of people who come across a salt lamp have licked it. (Whether they'll admit to it or not is another thing.)
visacrum 1 day ago
Be honest. Who among us would be in the presence of a salt lamp and NOT lick it? Source: I absolutely licked my gf's salt lamp. Lo and behold, it was salt.
Chris Jones 1 day ago
Going to have to buck the trend here - it never even occurred to me to have a lick!!
Load More Replies... Lotekguy 1 day ago
This was educational. I'd never heard of these lamps. I looked up what they are, and now have discovered something new not to be interested in owning. Thanks, BP.
Crystalwitch60 21 hours ago
You can get salt lights to in a string , I’ve got some in my bedroom ,also the wax melt/essential oil ones you use a candle under the holder is Himalayan salt
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#30
BeesEelsAndPups 2 days ago
I ate glass by accident once in Thailand. It was in my food. I heard a crunch where no crunch should have been and spit out my food, along with a lot of blood. I had to get stitches on my tongue and gums. Luckily I hadn't swallowed any of it.
Inigo Montoya 1 day ago
I had the same happen in Redmond Washington USA. Turns out the cook broke a light bulb over the cooktop and didn't tell anyone. The broken glass landed in the soup. Owner gave me an apology and a coupon for a free meal. Woopee.
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#32
#33
#34
#35
Am I Funny? Maybe or maybe not 2 days ago
Is it just me or is the fish giving me a thousand yard stare.
My O My 1 day ago
How would you look if you were stuffed in a pair if tights from a different species struggling for air?
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#36
#37
#38
#39
#40
#41
FranSinclair 2 days ago
Its not and its not the kinda situation you want to agree to emotionally, financially or legally attach yourself to imo
Load More Replies... #42
Emilu 1 day ago
BP glitch. It's hiding comments and not letting people respond to them for no apparent reason. Some people are suggesting it's to do with either emoji or punctuation use such as brackets etc, but not sure.
Load More Replies... UnclePanda 1 day ago (edited)
"Well, I'm talking to the ears and I know damnn well they're working!"
#43
dan gerene 2 days ago
You're a chuklehead and it bothers everybody who has any contact with you.
#44
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 2 days ago
When I was in a children's shelter we went twice a month because there were two in the area, and once a month each location would feed us kids for free. Maybe it's because I've never had a fancy steak, but I miss those steaks every day of my life... I'd love to go back and just eat all of the steak I could. Luckily our locations were pretty clean and nice.
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#47
Terry Reaux 1 day ago
means she orders through the app often enough it's in her quick menu . I've stopped eating their garbage it's nothing but grease and fake meat and cheese
Kathy Pearlman 7 hours ago
As a lactose intolerant person, I can vouch for the reality of McDonalds cheese...
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#48
#50
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