“Stories That Totally Happened”: 50 Times People Bragged On The Internet And Were Roasted For It (New Pics)
Bragging is a part of life. Even saying you never do it is probably more of a humblebrag than a true statement. Research shows that women, young people, and those with a higher education tend to brag more online. And we can shame them all we want, but we have to admit: some show-offs do it in pretty hilarious ways.
Some people come up with fake stories so ridiculous, that the Internet has no other choice but to share them and laugh. The Instagram page Totally True Story collects such instances and pokes some good-natured fun at the Internet's peacocks.
So, if you're looking to have a laugh at some 100% true stories that no doubt have happened, scroll down and see what these big-timers have come up with!
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I mean this could have happened if both of them have humor and were tired af of the aunt
I would really like for this to be true and to be repeated many times in many places.
I did it but my dad did not since it was his sister that tried
Load More Replies...The only one on the list that actually sounds true, given that this is Tumblr
Yeah I have seen this one before, and not in a context that it would be fake
Load More Replies...My bestie is gay so I decided to leave the church after 5 years. My family just my family. I left for myself even I'm straight. I know they think I'm gay anyway. No need to prove. My parents aren't here anymore and I still couldn't tell my late mum that Jon is gay. Funny thing is if my parents are still here they still thinks he's my toyboy bf. The rest of my family knows he's gay.
I had some guys staring at me in public and one said "hey" to get my attention and I'm like oh great here it comes. But what he said was "We LOVE your t-shirt!" I was wearing my Monkey Island tee. They weren't creeps - they were just nerds!
My family worried when I walked home from work in crazy hours at nights. A delivery driver works for my family says once," Think she could do more serious damaged to the other person most likely!" Thanks is true.
All of the above: Pizza guy is a slug demon who knows these people are crazy
You are a pizza delivery person, and the people you deliver to are in a salt circle and try to get you to come right to the door.... this looks like the start of a horror movie, where they pull you inside and murder you as a human sacrifice in an attempt to summon a portal to hell. Do not cross the line of salt.
I used to deliver for Domino's. One time, the door opened and I saw a Klingon Empire flag over their living room sofa, so I greeted them by saying "Qapla'". I got a big tip.
I came across an old 'magic circle' in the woods. I walked around it. I still don't know why.
Alternate theory: Pizza guy thought it was rat poison and didn’t want to go near an infested house.
Me too lol I actually did a presentation on high school, and I couldn't stop laughing when mentioning that Attila the Hun died of a nosebleed. That was hilarious to me for some reason
Load More Replies...That's kind of the point of this whole post, isn't it?
Load More Replies...Wild jump from "Target security guard kicks out my ex" to "I've been married to the Target security guard for 3 years"
This happened yesterday…and they’ve been married for how long?
Load More Replies...What kind of fancy Target has security guards that show up when you yell SECURITY??
What kind of Target has anyone that shows up anywhere?
Load More Replies...And I want to know why someone would want one bad enough to fix an antique cello for it
Load More Replies...The antique cello was fixed for her. She already owed it... apparently.
Load More Replies...I have a feeling that I don't want to know what he did with the rest of the parakeet.
Budgerigar in Australian Aboriginal language means good to eat or tasty. I hope that’s right, read in my Cyril Rogers book on budgies.
Load More Replies...This is actually possibly legit. No way to know if she's his patient for sure, but the facts check out.
The facts check out, but I'm sus about the person just happening to casually mention that to their dentist. Like the facts are true, but the rest of it is just a bit perfect.
Load More Replies...100% legit. just a google search. https://people.com/all-about-chris-evans-parents-siblings-7502694
That's Chris Evans with his mom, Lisa, and his dad, Robert - who is, indeed, a dentist. At least according to Wikipedia. Now whether he was OP's dentist is unnown.
The shields they put in your mouth for certain procedures should have the emblem printed on them.
My first girlfriend's dentist was Anneka Rice's father, so I'm told.
In the late 80s, I went to a dentist that had all kinds of Liberace memorabilia, including a lot of pictures of the two of them together. My mom was panicked over AIDs and never took me back there.
That’s what you get when you unwantingly comment on other’s life choices.
and who wouldn't have lol'd at that?! sometimes it needs to be said, even if it's by a kid
I once did that to a person. The only difference is that you punched, but I slapped (in public - we're at a birthday celebration). Because honestly a slap is far more humiliating than a punch. And I wanted to humiliate him more than hurt him. (P.s. I really, like genuinely believe public humiliation is far worse than a pain given in private)
I didn't realise Will Smith had an account on here. ;-)
Load More Replies...I would have gone for the throatchop. You cannot tell séxual asŝaúlt/râpe jokes, when you cannot breathe.
I'd have aimed a lot lower, faces are bony and hard to punch whereas "the danglers" are more like a pair of those punching balls. (This is if you haven't gone for "Family's" slap)
They could have at least thought of a good joke to give the fake d o u c h e...
Technically true. But this seems to be a robin hood situation. Plus who knows, maybe the stuff he gave wasn't stolen, but just stuff he and his buddies had laying around.
Load More Replies...These are all fake. Did you not read the beginning of the article?
Load More Replies...I didn't think there were enough people in Wyoming that two people could accidentally meet
0.1 % of the USA population, yet they control 2% of the Senate. Meanwhile, California is almost 12% of USA and has that same 2% representation .
Load More Replies...Definitely wouldn’t have been an Irish one . We’re not British
Load More Replies...Real or not this would be within possibility with the nieces i had.
Welcome to retail. “You fecking son of a… *spins around* Yes sir. How can I help you on this lovely day *while smiling sweetly*
That's the reason why I could NEVER work in retail. I just don't have the patience or self control for that.
Load More Replies...So true. I have a whole persona I use when Im serving tables. Once I clock out,I'm back to being an introvert
Before every phone call: Oh ffs, what do you effing want now...Answering: Good morning, how may I help you...
I used to do that on the phone. Good and professional while the other person was there. NOT the moment they were gone.
Sometimes when I talk to relatives I get, "Don't use your teacher voice on me!!"
It wouldn’t happen. As a former police officer, if you’re searching a house you would gather up everyone, and not leave someone somewhere where there are potential weapons, or whatever you’re searching for, and whether they could also be involved in whatever crime brings you to the premises in the first place.
Load More Replies...When the place I work was having major renovations, I got assigned cleaning the portapotty (I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, to be honest). So I go in there with a mop and bucket and pack of bog rolls and open the door, to find one of the builders with a magazine and furiously cranking his joystick. I can't read what looks like Polish but it's pretty obviously not naked girls. He looks at me in something resembling terror. After a few seconds I pull the door partly closed, point at the lock, and suggest he might want to use it in the future. Then I went and made myself a tea because I figured he'd be a while.
Oh, and working in a nursing home apparently you're supposed to knock before entering the linen closet, lest you upset the two (female) nurses half undressed snogging each other. I rolled my eyes, mumbled something about the cute ones always being taken, grabbed the towel I went there for, and left.
Load More Replies...I randomly snatched open a door in Home Depot's door aisle to find an HD employee hiding behind it. Before shame could set in for either of us, I quickly closed the door and walked away.
Why would you be shaving your legs in your friend's bathroom? Unless you live there that's just weird.
They could be spending the night or going to the beach or going out.
Load More Replies...Most stories on the Internet are fake. You must like them, your still reading them. They may be fake, but you got a admit, they're funny! A little humor can go a long way!
Load More Replies...i knew it at 7 and introduced my brother to it way b4 he was 7
Load More Replies...A few years ago, I lived in a trailer park. Across the way, lived a family with two boys around 6, & 9 yo. I was sitting on my deck, when the oldest comes out with the trash. As he was dragging the bag to the trash can, it broke. Most of the trash leaving a trail. He goes in, and a few minutes later, mom comes out. She sees the trail, yells at the boy to get out there, and pick it up, if he doesn't she's going to take the spatula to his a$$! Boy, comes out, starts to pick it up. He stops, goes to the door, and says; Mom! I guess you're going to have to take the spatula to my a$$, because I'm not going to pick it up! Obviously, mom must not spank to hard!
I can actually, totally see my niece doing this! Except she would be singing in Spanglish!
Big Billy Joel fan here. I don't think the author got the kid's song right. We Didn't Start the Fire is not a song that follows any logical lyrical path. It's just names and events that mostly happened decades before a 7 year old would be born. The kid must have been singing something else.
Last night a saw part 2 of the Billy Joel documentary. It sems school children were taught history by teaching them that song.
Load More Replies...Acid will do that to you. Not that I have ever done it. Just been told about it... yeah.
I had to drive an extra hour on the interstate through Wyoming US, because I missed my exit and that's how far the next one was.
Ross Noble, an English comedian, is married to an Australian. He said that he was outside his then-girlfriend's house about to set off on a road trip to visit her parents'. He put the destination in the sat-nav and the voice said "At the end of the street turn left and continue on for three weeks".
Load More Replies...First, Norway is larger than all states except Alaska, Texas, California, and Montana, while Sweden, which has the longest border with Norway (more than 1,000 miles), is around the size of California. The combined land mass of Scandinavia is close to that of the entire West Coast + Nevada. If this idiot was in Oslo, Norway, and decided to drive north, they'd still be in Norway two days later.
I could drive until I ran out of petrol from a full tank, and still be in my state.
In California, it takes 12 - 16 hours from north to south, depending on the route.
Load More Replies...Wasn’t the first one of these stories the daughter racing her dad to a pizza place for dinner? I mean, making it up is ridiculous to begin with but being the person that steals the other persons bs has to be worse.
Yeah, was going to say I remember this one differently.
Load More Replies...Might be a shy person like me, we'd rather struggle in the dark than have to ask for the lights to be turned on, asking things is way too assertive ;)
Load More Replies...Probably because he always left them off and he didn't hear OP go near the light switch? Also very few people are actually 100% blind; most blind people have fuzzy light perception. Like they can distinguish a white car from a black car as a giant white blob.
Load More Replies...I prefer dimmer light than a lot of people. Eg, the grocery store is far too bright. So if there was a window, that would have been enough light.
Friend of mine was asked by another mutual friend to have a look at her PC as something was wrong with it. He got to her house, realised his mistake, then returned home to pick up a monitor so he could see what was going on. As a blind person, she didn't have a monitor.
I put a banana in my ear to keep bears away. Never been attacked once.
Wouldn’t a banana in your ear be more effective on monkeys than bears?
Load More Replies...My mom abducted me from work one night to go to Disney when I told her I could not go because I had work in the next day.
Your mom, is a saint compared to mine. Mine, was a brutal monster, and that's the nice way to describe her. Luckily, she's burning in hell where she belongs.
My ex does the sleep-talking thing. One time he was asleep and I was awake, and he started talking about a magical pen that he claimed to own. We ended up having a very long conversation about this alleged magic pen. When he woke up later, he didn't remember any of the conversation XD
My husband is a legionaire veteran and he talks alot in his sleep but oh how I wish I knew French because it goes on for hours😅😅😅
Load More Replies...Yeah, I did the sleep talking too along with getting violent in my sleep. My wife would tell me about it, but I dont remember any of it. I have PTSD, after I started getting treatment for it I rarely do it.
I hope she wasn't on the receiving end, glad you got treatment.
Load More Replies...This is how my mom, could find out anything I had been up to. And, I was up to A Lot!
Both my mother and my sister talk in their sleep. When we still lived at home I'd often hear them having weird conversations with each other whilst asleep. One would say something odd and the other would reply. Now I get to listen to my girlfriend talk In her sleep which is amazing because she's originally from Russia so speaks Russian. Moved to Israel aged 8 so speaks Hebrew and learnt English in her teens then moved here 16 years ago. I'd love to know what she dreams because when she talks it varies on which language it is.
You're a bit dim Janelle aren't you. These are screenshots copied from another site and even those are screenshots. Also, this is a list of stories that most likely didn't happen.
Load More Replies...No, mom is a jerk. To disrupt a church service that way is despicable.
What are you doing in church if your mom & you obviously done believe? Not a Christian AT ALL, my point is if you're going to make up a story at least make it somewhat believable.
Why wouldn't you have your neighbors number? I like all my neighbors and even the ones I don't like I still have their number for emergencies. Not walking a half mile to talk to them. I didn't have new neighbors number and we were under fire evacuation. I brought their animals to my pasture and ready to load up as helicopters dumped water. They had no idea or help. We're all on this rock together. Love thy neighbor
Load More Replies...We read them for what they are: entertainment. Doesn't have to be any deeper than that.
Load More Replies...I weirdly heard teenage boys talking a lot like this in Townsville qld - I pretended not to listen but also couldn’t stop as it was the complete opposite of what kids in my day that age (2001) would say and think, refreshing as.
Are you a T’ville native? I lived there for 5 years and I miss it.
Load More Replies...My niece, who was 14 years old, is the youngest of 6 kids (1 boy, 5 girls mixed family) her older sister had just come out as non-binary. Niece was on Xbox Live and there was a little asshōle talking s**t, she told him that "even if he was Bi that he still wouldn't be able to get anyone to date him"... Burn!!!
I stopped using "that's gay" as an insult the day I said it to my gay brother... his raised eyebrow did all the talking needed.
I could believe this one, because it sounds like something my kid (12) would say to their friends on xbox live. They actually have called some of them out for their homophobic bs.
Load More Replies...Why not? Ripping someone off legally is perfectly legal. It's only a problem if you rip them off illegally. Luckily, any decent lawyer knows how to circumvent the law so no worries.
Load More Replies...This is either made up or this person is going to get sanctioned by the bar for a raging conflict of interest. I'm going with made up, because the second her name appeared on the paperwork he would have told his own lawyer.
It's possible that since they have broken up, lawyer lady may have changed her name or got married. So the guy might not know but he will as soon as he sees her in court.
Load More Replies...I don't think you could be that successful as a lawyer considering you were STILL in school 5 years ago. Most people would thankful that he was honest enough to tell you the truth vs cheated on you while you were busy studying, and it's not you divorsing hime right now .Try for a more realistic joke next time.
Mac and cheese on a baguette? Why is this weird? It's like a posh version of spaghetti hoops on toast.
I guy I lived in the same dorm with would eat leftover pizza on bread like a sandwich, so slice of bread, butter and then cold pizza on top.
Yeah i could put just about anything on a Panera baguette too. 💕
Wasn't that a plot line from some movie with David Spade?
Well, he probably couldn't have posted if he was chained to the basement wall, so
Load More Replies...In all the years that I worked as a nightclub bouncer in numerous clubs I can honestly say that as dark as some of them were, not once was it so dark that it was impossible to see other people. There is no way that a teacher and his student could be dancing that close and not be able to recognise each other.
Load More Replies...President Obama roasted a cheating "businessman" at a White House Correspondents dinner. It didn't end well.
Back when we had a real, classy, dignified but still cool President, and not the embarassment we have now
another president i know could have made you a presidential aide, or sent you off to Russia
Well, he sure beats the hell out of the deranged idiot p e d o we have in the White House now.
Load More Replies...I'm impressed. I don't think I could manage a stick man holding a stick banana with a dot for a cherry.
I had a severe shrimp allergy years ago. A few months ago I ate shrimp by mistake (in some supermarket sushi that wasn't labeled clearly) and had no reaction. The human body is weird. But I do know that if I test it again, I'm going to be verrry careful, just in case that one time re-sensitized me.
My friend commented to his mother that he liked to eat nuts because of how they made his tongue tingle. Turns out he has a nut allergy.
and they also are overpriced and expensive. oh and they die.
Load More Replies...I always thought that the bathroom is even more sacrosanct than the confessional at church?
He thought she had took one into the bathroom and was hiding there to eat it.
Load More Replies...Actually, a better solution than taking the elevator after chucking the body down the stairs.
I think you just gave this story the only moral it ever needed
Load More Replies...But not everyone finishes high school at 18, there's quite a lot of variation in age. So OP could have just said they were still in their last year of high school, and if questioned about it, a much easier lie would be "Oh yeah, I started primary school a year later than other kids".
I would have finished at 18 but got pushed up a grade thanks to copiously studying my brother's homework all the time (I was that child) so finished at 17.
Load More Replies...... you can actually be enrolled in High School AND college at the same time. It's literally called "dual enrollment". A lot of kids do this to save money on college because you can achieve your associates (2 year) degree for free, because High School students are given a free education. Hope this helps and you stop being instantly critical of other people's success!
Load More Replies...Jeez, just had to do a 24h heart- and pulse monitoring. I talked to my bf on the phone abt some shittyy tourists that behaved like animals on the bus and got all fired up. Then it dawned on me that the docs will now have to wonder why my results are suddenly so fuckked up in a matter of minutes 😳😬🙈
Not at all. They won't care why it went up but will be interested in how long it took t go back down,
Load More Replies...I wish someone would do this to me :( 'Course, I'm a K-Pop-drama fan, soo...But still...
This happens more than you think. Like, for an easy example, road rage.
Load More Replies...Less people care about Hurricane Maria than 9/11 because the former was weather and the latter was a purposeful terrorist attack, this is just peak Tumblr stupidity
I got indicted for that, actually, during an anti-VN War protest in Fresno. "Destruction of United States Government Property": while all the onlookers and media expected me to destroy it or burn it, I ate my draft card with catsup on it. It was the same draft card that Mohammad Ali had signed at a protest in Century City some time before. The maximum sentence could have been a five'n'dime but I squirted out of the country, and charges were dropped seven years later. I actually offered to give them back the card after it had been processed inside of me but they declined the offer insolently.
This is an old joke, I heard Monty Python tell it in a live show in the 1980's
Monty Python is British and Aussies don't drink Fosters, we sell it to fools overseas.
Load More Replies...still does not beat the guy i saw buying Tomato Juice and a new Toilet brush at 7.30 am on a saturday morning
Maybe his dog got sprayed by a skunk XD
Load More Replies...More importantly it does not have High Fructose Corn Syrup. I used to get really bad heartburn in all-day meetings in the US 'cos they kept bringing in soft drinks all day; only once I realised it was the HFCS in the drinks did I get better.
Load More Replies...No Coca-Cola anywhere has c*****e. It was a minute amount and in the formula very briefly. Mexican Coke has cane sugar, US has high fructose corn syrup.
This is so cute 🥰🥰🥰. Just made my single life even worse than it was before (sarcastically speaking)
I'm pretty sure I would sh!t out every inch of my digestive tract if I ate 35 cups of diet pudding in one sitting XD
"Notice me senpai" is a meme that originates from anime (Japanese animation.) "Senpai" is an honorific term for someone who is "above" you, either socially, or older than you, or in a further year of school than you are, or a higher position at your employer, etc. Basically saying "notice me senpai" is a trope/meme meaning you want to be noticed/acknowledged by someone who is senior to them.
Load More Replies...And the Secret Service moved to the side and politely let him through.
You couldn't sell everything I own for the price of superbowl tickets.
If they could sell the house too they might manage it.
Load More Replies...Oh god, instead of "and everybody clapped" they went to "and everybody started singing" what the hell
I stopped believing and when Journey heard about it, they got pissed.
"A bulk pack of toilet paper and Immodium AD? I'll ring this up extra quickly."
Load More Replies...Well, in the eyes of the church and in the eyes of god are two different things yeah?
Wowwwwwwwww This is definitely something I wish would happen to me. (It's a honest joke)
Love everyone here saying things like, you go girl and this is amazing. THESE ARE ALL FAKE. READ THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE
There is an Instagram thread called 'Totally true story'. People post stories on it. Not everyone reading believes every story and some are accused of being fake. Nobody knows which ones are true and which are not. The End.
Load More Replies...Doesn't the bible also say something about not eating shrimp or whatever?
are people so attention deprived they need to resort to making an A$$ out of themselves for likes? No wonder tiktok has eroded the IQ of so many. or did tiktok show the IQ of so many with Tide Pods?
Love everyone here saying things like, you go girl and this is amazing. THESE ARE ALL FAKE. READ THE TITLE OF THE ARTICLE
There is an Instagram thread called 'Totally true story'. People post stories on it. Not everyone reading believes every story and some are accused of being fake. Nobody knows which ones are true and which are not. The End.
Load More Replies...Doesn't the bible also say something about not eating shrimp or whatever?
are people so attention deprived they need to resort to making an A$$ out of themselves for likes? No wonder tiktok has eroded the IQ of so many. or did tiktok show the IQ of so many with Tide Pods?
