“Stories That Totally Happened”: 50 Times People Bragged On The Internet And Were Roasted For It (New Pics)

Good. Can't stand the sanctimonious religious.

The only one on the list that actually sounds true, given that this is Tumblr

But you'll probably want to omit that line on your Tinder profile. 😂😂

I'm going with the slug theory

Ok,… im gonna be honest… that would be me

And then everyone clapped.

I'd like to see the necklace made of parakeet bones

This is actually possibly legit. No way to know if she's his patient for sure, but the facts check out.

👏👏👏👏👏

I once did that to a person. The only difference is that you punched, but I slapped (in public - we're at a birthday celebration). Because honestly a slap is far more humiliating than a punch. And I wanted to humiliate him more than hurt him. (P.s. I really, like genuinely believe public humiliation is far worse than a pain given in private)

We got you, fam.

I worry for the dog.

I didn't think there were enough people in Wyoming that two people could accidentally meet

You go girl!

Welcome to retail. “You fecking son of a… *spins around* Yes sir. How can I help you on this lovely day *while smiling sweetly*

Brendon Nash

Brendon Nash

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Nice

Oh.. This is funny as s**t

Like most of these, amusing even if not true.

“And then years later, I ran into him when he ran into a bookstore to escape paparazzi and he remembered me and now we’re in love”

Yes, you're dreaming

I had to drive an extra hour on the interstate through Wyoming US, because I missed my exit and that's how far the next one was.

Wasn’t the first one of these stories the daughter racing her dad to a pizza place for dinner? I mean, making it up is ridiculous to begin with but being the person that steals the other persons bs has to be worse.

Why didn't you just ask to turn on the lights?

Abnormal psychology?

My mom abducted me from work one night to go to Disney when I told her I could not go because I had work in the next day.

Your mom, is a saint compared to mine. Mine, was a brutal monster, and that's the nice way to describe her. Luckily, she's burning in hell where she belongs.

My ex does the sleep-talking thing. One time he was asleep and I was awake, and he started talking about a magical pen that he claimed to own. We ended up having a very long conversation about this alleged magic pen. When he woke up later, he didn't remember any of the conversation XD

Janelle Collard

Janelle Collard

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Your mom has a great sense of humor. :)

And pancakes!

Holy moly, the WRONG place for her to be a B!

Teacher was evil.

I weirdly heard teenage boys talking a lot like this in Townsville qld - I pretended not to listen but also couldn’t stop as it was the complete opposite of what kids in my day that age (2001) would say and think, refreshing as.

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Mac and cheese on a baguette? Why is this weird? It's like a posh version of spaghetti hoops on toast.

That's how a lot of people ended up dating before the Internet.

😂

Is this a Tumblr fanfic about fanfics?

Jeez, take a frigging breath! Ten 'and's in one sentence?

President Obama roasted a cheating "businessman" at a White House Correspondents dinner. It didn't end well.

I'm impressed. I don't think I could manage a stick man holding a stick banana with a dot for a cherry.

It would k**l me.

All boys school?

Don't most grocery stores sell flowers?

Brendon Nash

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Did they tip

I always thought that the bathroom is even more sacrosanct than the confessional at church?

Actually, a better solution than taking the elevator after chucking the body down the stairs.

Brendon Nash

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Lol

Sounds like it worked though.

But not everyone finishes high school at 18, there's quite a lot of variation in age. So OP could have just said they were still in their last year of high school, and if questioned about it, a much easier lie would be "Oh yeah, I started primary school a year later than other kids".

Jeez, just had to do a 24h heart- and pulse monitoring. I talked to my bf on the phone abt some shittyy tourists that behaved like animals on the bus and got all fired up. Then it dawned on me that the docs will now have to wonder why my results are suddenly so fuckked up in a matter of minutes 😳😬🙈

Less people care about Hurricane Maria than 9/11 because the former was weather and the latter was a purposeful terrorist attack, this is just peak Tumblr stupidity

Not funny. Supposedly she wasted police resources, & he behaved inappropriately. But it's not true anyway.

I got indicted for that, actually, during an anti-VN War protest in Fresno. "Destruction of United States Government Property": while all the onlookers and media expected me to destroy it or burn it, I ate my draft card with catsup on it. It was the same draft card that Mohammad Ali had signed at a protest in Century City some time before. The maximum sentence could have been a five'n'dime but I squirted out of the country, and charges were dropped seven years later. I actually offered to give them back the card after it had been processed inside of me but they declined the offer insolently.

Kindness literally costs nothing.

Better living through chemistry.

Sure because that's ethical

This is an old joke, I heard Monty Python tell it in a live show in the 1980's

still does not beat the guy i saw buying Tomato Juice and a new Toilet brush at 7.30 am on a saturday morning

And that's why they named me Pancakes

Ask him if he has mononucleo...oh, you know.