The genetic lottery happens very early in life, but its prizes (or the lack of) are evident during most of our days on Earth. The consequences of this natural process we have no control of, unfortunately, often leads to double standards, favoring the pretty and hurting the ugly people.

Reddit user OrbitalDickHead (I know, I know) has posted a question on the platform, asking "What is socially accepted when you are beautiful but not accepted when you are ugly?" and it went viral, accumulating over 38K upvotes.

Bored Panda has collected some of the most popular answers about social acceptance to highlight that not everyone can get away with staring at a stranger or going on about how inner beauty is more important than its outer counterpart. For example, if your read-headed, pot-bellied and slightly balding colleague that you usually don't talk to would stop to chat with you, would you feel delighted or later tweet about meeting creepy people? Now the opposite - if the guy were tall, dark, and handsome, your feelings would probably change too.

Scroll down to read the stories about ugly ducklings below. Hopefully, while reading it, you won't find the signs you are unattractive yourself.


Being quiet/introverted.
If you're attractive, then you're "cute" or "sweet" or "reserved".
If you're ugly, then you're "awkward" or "creepy" or "have no life".

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Jilltdcatlady 1 year ago

Ugly+quiet=seriously mad at everything

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My sister and I call ourselves "Princess Diary" pretty, because we have frizzy curly hair, but when straightened, we clean up nice... We tried an experiment for two weeks: Week 1- wear sweats, no hair straightening, no makeup... Week 2- wear cute outfits, straighten hair, do makeup, wear perfume. I wish we had filmed because the difference in the way we were treated was insane (by men and women). Week 1- People would let doors slam in my face, treated me meanly, and didn't notice me. Week 2- Everyone smiled at me, held doors, called me "honey", got invited out with co-workers, I even had my coffee/donut paid for. Anyone who says that looks don't matter, is living in a fantasy world.

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CatShatBrix 1 year ago

I wouldn't trust anyone that treated you badly at first, and then being nice to you the second week.

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Literally just existing and talking to people. There's a guy at work named Sean. Sean is unfortunate looking. He's a redhead, he's balding, yet his sides and back are pretty long, he doesn't cut his nose hairs, he's constantly red/pink, pot bellied, and yeah he kind of lingers around your desk and talks a bit too much.
Problem is, we all kind of do that... you know... overstaying your cubicle visit or whatever. Everyone at work thinks he's creepy. They all think he'll shoot up the place or maybe will eventually be banned from entering a school zone. TBH, Sean is a sweet, nice dude. He's your nerdy, 40-year old virgin type of dude. He's got a lot of friends, from what I can tell on Facebook, and practically zero work friends. He plays on different softball and bowling teams, goes out to bars with his friends, and from what I can tell, seems perfectly normal.
I talk to him every so often and he's a really nice guy. I visited his desk and he said I was the first person to visit him (he started here maybe 6 months ago...) It's very unfortunate for him that people think of him this way. I know for a fact that if he was skinnier, had hair, and wasn't ugly that people wouldn't think he's creepy at all.

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Kiahna 1 year ago

I had a friend like that at school. Her name was Selena, she had greasy hair, strange glasses and was a very skinny girl. Everyone hated her. I went to talk to her one day and found out that she was an awesome person. She was fun to talk to and we had lots of things in common. We became best friends. Never judge a person by their looks. You can never know what lies beneath the surface, I had no idea.

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I'm not seeing this listed so I'll go ahead and say it: sexual assault.
When someone who's attractive goes way too far, it's frequently taken as a compliment, laughed off, or just not spoken of again, and if you take issue with it and tell someone, they're a hell of a lot less likely to believe you and/or try to talk you out of it/convince you it wasn't as bad as you're making it seem.
If an ugly person grabs your crotch or your boob, or smacks your ass in a bar, or doesn't take no for an answer, it's sexual assault and nobody questions you and everyone immediately rallies around you and agrees the person is bad.
I once had an outrageously hot girlfriend who didn't stop when I said to. We were in the drivers seat of a car and I was pinned between my seat and the steering wheel on top of me, and I wasn't wearing a condom. I was shoving at her and yelling, but I had no room to move my legs at all and had basically no physical leverage in that position. So she held me down and got what she wanted. I hated it.
Yes, female-on-male rape is a real thing.
I told her she raped me and she laughed in my face. Meanwhile I'm over here like "I don't know if I just got this crazy bitch pregnant, also how the fuck did she just remove my personal agency."
It was horrible and confusing and disorienting, because it's hard for men to really process the idea that it can happen to us too.
When I started telling people, at least 3/4 of them didn't believe me or blatantly didn't take me seriously in any way at all. Several simply changed the subject. The consensus was "You're whining because your hot girlfriend let you cum in her, how stupid are you?"
But if I'd told people a fat, homely friend of mine held me down and raped me, they'd have believed me with little question.
I can't even imagine how it must be for women who get assaulted by very attractive men.
And people wonder why most victims don't report shit, and people wonder how Cosby admitted in a deposition that he gave women quaaludes and then fucked them but somehow got a mistrial. We live in a society where if the aggressor is hot or rich, nobody wants to believe you and the system isn't set up to support you.

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Magpie 1 year ago

edit: poster # 12. I hope you can talk to someone about this. ..if not yet. Try the emergency phone lines ( listed in the front of the phone book - in Australia LifeLine 13 11 14 ) You don't have to answer questions, and you CAN ask them questions. perhaps about a support group or therapist in your area. It might take a few phone calls, until you find the person that is comfortable for you to talk to. It is worth it. Hoping things are going better for you now.

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Going on about how inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. If you're attractive and say this you're humble and empowering, but if you're ugly and say it, you're just seen as whining.

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CatShatBrix 1 year ago

I know! When you're ugly and say this, people think you are trying to 'excuse' yourself for being ugly.

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Almost anything.

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Kiahna 1 year ago

Pretty much.

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Weirdly, being polite to the opposite sex. I'm generally a very polite and friendly person. When I was fat men would constantly go out of their way to make sure I knew they had no interest even though I hadn't given any hint at being interested and was already in a relationship. Now that I've lost weight everyone's a LOT nicer.

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borklaser 1 year ago

I had this happen to me a lot at my old job, I got asked out all the time and when I said I was married they asked why I was flirting? as if saying hello and smiling were an invitation, not just basic courtesy. on the other hand, the inmates (worked in a jail) would always tell me I was the only one who was nice to them. now I'm chunkier and work with nearly zero men, so no longer have this issue.

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Eating a lot. Skinny/ pretty girl eats an entire pizza? Oh how cute! She can eat anything she wants and shes still skinny! Adorable!
Fat/unattractive or average person even eats a whole pizza? Just sad.

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just a thought ! 1 year ago

I'm overweight and if I'm eating junk food , people are like "try to eat healthy at least now" And if I eat anything remotely healthy "oh you're dieting now ? Don't worry , you can't become thin " I'm so tired of these assholes .

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Being weird. People will tolerate a great deal of weirdness, strangeness and psycho behaviour from an attractive person, whereas these traits would be unforgivable in an ugly person.
There was a social experiment conducted where a catfish profile of a beautiful blonde was created. When guys talked to her the catfishers responded with the most weird, bizzarre, off-the-wall, creepy answers but guys still kept pursuing. People will tolerate a lot of weirdness if it comes alongside hotness.

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Zenozenobee 1 year ago

That's Barney Stinson's hot crazy scale....

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Brian Carlos 1 year ago


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