“Find Your Own Man”: Woman Furious After SIL Demands Family Heirloom Back

Questions of inheritance, from money, to property and just “items” have an ugly way of tearing families apart. Even when there is an ironclad will, just the simple decision of who gets what is unfortunately the cause of a lot of discord and strife.

A young woman asked the internet if she went too far when she decided to take her brother to court over a family heirloom he took and gifted to his girlfriend. Later she shared a sizable update. We reached out to the woman who made the post via private message and will update the article when she gets back to us.

It can be easy to forget family ties when assets and money are on the line

Person adjusting a family heirloom necklace on their neck, wearing a lace dress.

Image credits: Danil_Rudenko (not the actual photo)

So one woman wondered if she was wrong to sue her brother over an heirloom he just took for himself

Text about a family feud over a diamond heirloom intended for the first daughter, being disputed in court.

Text discussing a family feud over a disputed heirloom and claims of responsibility.

Text about family heirloom engagement gift causing dispute over ownership.

Text highlighting a family feud over a heirloom necklace dispute.

Man and woman arguing indoors, representing family feud over a heirloom.

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)

Text about family feud over heirloom, discussing refusal to return necklace, and legal action considered for its recovery.

Text excerpt discussing a family feud over a family heirloom and its impact.

Text discussing family feud over a necklace, with legal action involved, impacting wedding plans.

Image credits: CourseTasty9395

Wills have a way of sparking family drama

The young woman who made the post didn’t indicate where she is from, which can make it hard to understand exactly what rules do and don’t apply to her situation. While some believe that, in the absence of a “real” will, there is no telling who gets what, the reality is that oral (nuncupative) wills also exist.

However, they are not all equally recognized, for example, in the US, only twenty states permit them, and they often require additional circumstances, for example they can be made by military personnel on active duty. This is all to say that questions of inheritance are pretty complicated, particularly when dealing with specific family traditions.

In cases like this, having your family able to back you is pretty important. There is really no one else who can testify to a family tradition but a family member. Unfortunately, this can also not necessarily be enough. After all, the brother made his own claims, how exactly can a court differentiate who said what and to whom?

This is perhaps why, in one of the updates (the story continues below) the mom suggests dropping the entire thing. After all, at the end of this no matter who “wins,” the court decision, it will be a long-standing family issue for years to come. This means that it is seriously worth considering if the value of the necklace is more than the “value” of a relationship with one’s brother.

Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)

The brother’s greed might have lasting implications

That being said, at the same time, it would appear that the brother has, himself, diminished this
relationship. If keeping the item in the maternal line is the goal, him just taking it is questionable. While it might be cruel to dismiss his girlfriend as an outsider, since there is no way to tell how long lasting this relationship might be, rejecting her out of hand is somewhat cold. There are all too many families that never accept someone’s partner, causing lasting issues.

However, by gifting her the necklace, after “manipulating” the father into handing it over, he has also put her in the line of fire. After all, accepting what is clearly a valuable family heirloom from just your boyfriend is perhaps a bit much. In general, this is a pretty messy situation, so it’s not surprising that the sister might want to get the law involved.

As some commenters note, the necklace could disappear very easily, so it’s best to start a paper trail here. Suing a family member seems extreme, but the brother does seem like he was trying to pull a fast one. If the father is willing to testify in court (as detailed in update three, yes, three, which can be found below) then it does seem like there were some lies going on.

Image credits: KATRIN BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)

Most readers sided with her

Reddit user discusses family feud over a heirloom, expressing regret and desire to reclaim it respectfully.

Reddit thread discussing family heirloom causing feud, sister taking brother to court over necklace inheritance dispute.

Text discussion about a family feud over a maternal heirloom tradition.

Reddit comment discussing a family feud over a stolen heirloom and urging to take legal action.

Comment discussing a family feud over a family heirloom, involving responsibility and rightful ownership.

Reddit comment discussing a family heirloom dispute and broken trust.

Reddit comment discussing a family feud over a family heirloom and court action advice.

Forum comment on inheritance dispute causing family feud over an heirloom.

Comment discussing proof for necklace ownership amid family feud over heirloom.

Reddit comment discussing a family feud over a taken heirloom and legal action.

Online discussion about family feud over heirloom inheritance.

A few thought her reaction was excessive

Text comment discussing family feud over heirloom and legal actions.

Text discussing family feud over a heirloom, suggesting inheritance issues without a will.

Reddit comment discussing family heirloom rights and court matters in a family feud context.

Text exchange discussing a family feud over a necklace heirloom and legal actions to reclaim it.

Online comment discussing a compromise to resolve a family feud over a heirloom necklace.

Reddit comment criticizing someone for giving away a family heirloom necklace, causing a feud.

Two men having coffee in a kitchen, discussing a family heirloom issue.

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

She shared an update later

Family feud update text highlighting escalated situation with new context.

Text describing a family feud over a heirloom necklace and court involvement.

Text discussing a family feud over a handed-down heirloom and manipulation.

Text about a family feud over a heirloom necklace, sister plans to go to court.

Woman taking a selfie with a smartphone, holding a champagne glass, in a festive setting.

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

Text discussing a family's legal dispute over a heirloom necklace with no existing will, exploring family and legal dynamics.

Social media post causing family feud over a necklace, sparking accusations and legal action between siblings.

Text expressing commitment to fight for family heirloom despite causing family feud and legal battle.

Image credits: CourseTasty9395

Readers expressed some support

Reddit comment about keeping a family heirloom despite the conflict it caused, stating the necklace belongs to the commenter.

Reddit thread discussing family feud over a heirloom, with users expressing frustration and urging action against theft.

Text discussing a family feud over a heirloom and court action.

Comment discussing a family feud over a family heirloom and legal issues.

Reddit comment about a family feud over a heirloom, mentioning court involvement.

Text from a forum discusses legal chances in a family feud over a family heirloom.

Comment about family feud and court case, mentioning a lawyer swindling someone.

Comment discussing legal aspects of a family feud over heirloom inheritance without a will.

Comment on family feud involving a brother and father, expressing sympathy to the original poster.

Man and woman in legal discussion over a family feud involving a family heirloom, sitting at a table with a justice statue.

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

Once the lawsuit was in action, she returned to give some more details

Text about preparing for court date, feeling overwhelmed; related to family heirloom dispute causing family feud.

Text about family feud and legal fees, highlighting financial stress and determination in resolving the issue.

Text detailing family feud over heirloom necklace, highlighting sibling conflict and court involvement.

Text about a brother's fiancée flaunting a family heirloom necklace at dinner, creating tension and provoking the sister.

Two men in court listening to a lawyer, discussing family feud over a heirloom.

Image credits: AnnaStills (not the actual photo)

Text about family feud over heirloom with a quote from a concerned family member.

Text describes the emotional toll of a family feud over an heirloom, with emphasis on honoring grandmother’s wishes.

Image credits: CourseTasty9395

Netizens shared their thoughts

Reddit conversation about a lengthy court process in a family feud over a family heirloom.

Reddit comment discussing unexpected family tension over a family heirloom court case.

Reddit comment discussing a family feud over a necklace heirloom during a lawsuit.

Text comments expressing support for a court case over a family heirloom dispute.

Comment discussing a family heirloom dispute and the emotional reaction to seeing it worn.

Comment about family heirloom dispute involving a brother stealing a necklace.

Reddit comment discussing a legal dispute over a family heirloom causing family feud.

Reddit comment about including legal fees in a court settlement over a family heirloom dispute.

Reddit comment supporting sister in family feud over heirloom.

Woman in a courtroom setting discussing a family feud over a heirloom, standing before a judge and a seated man.

Image credits: AnnaStills (not the actual photo)

She also detailed what happened next

Court update text about a family feud over a taken heirloom, highlighting a brother's manipulation and a father's testimony.

Text on family feud over heirloom; aunt supports original heir.

Text describing a family feud over a family heirloom and ongoing court case.

Man in a suit discussing documents in a legal meeting, highlighting a family feud over a cherished heirloom.

Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual photo)

Text describing emotional and financial toll of legal fees over a family heirloom dispute.

Text expressing gratitude for support amid a family feud over a family heirloom.

Image credits: CourseTasty9395

A few readers gave some advice

Reddit comment with advice about a girlfriend and a family heirloom.

Reddit comment discussing a family feud over a heirloom and court case.

Comment discussing family feud over heirloom and support during legal dispute.

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