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Being of somewhat abbreviated stature myself, I know firsthand the constant giggles and short people jokes that come with it.

Sure, I can’t reach the top shelf (ha-ha), and yes, I probably could fit in a shoebox, but those are exactly the kind of jokes about being short we’ve learned to embrace.

Because honestly, being short is a blessing in disguise. We can stretch our legs on flights, wear cheaper kid-sized clothes, and fit into places the tall folks only dream of. And if you ever doubted the humor potential, our collection of the funniest short person jokes proves otherwise.

Of course, we’ve also rounded up a few clever roasts from the tall camp; tall people problems are real, too!

And if you’re just here for a laugh, check out our adult jokes, dirty jokes, or explore the wild world of Ask Reddit’s funniest moments.

So scroll down and enjoy the best jokes about short people we could find, because height might be small, but humor sure isn’t.

#1

Short People Problems

Text on a red background with a short people joke about handing things to them. You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.

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Jasper Cool
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol. It actually makes my day when somebody asks me to hand them something from a tall shelf in the grocery store. Not happy they can't reach, just happy to help.

helen anderson
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the same with me! At a 5' 8" everytime I go shopping guaranteed I have an elderly lady or short lady asking to grab something..I don't mind I love being able to help someone!

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Joe Reaves
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true. I work in a bookshop. We have a sign that says 'if you can't reach something please ask a member of staff'. I am 5'3". If you can't reach it nor can I.

jon gilbertson
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im only 5'8" (1.72m) but have monkeys arms. im always reaching for things for people. kind of an ego boost because I'm considered short for this area

James Heinle
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom used to date a midget. He was a short mother.f****r

Hudson Nail
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg lol that was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny

Hudson Nail
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

omg lol that is soooooooooooooooo funny

Russ Kincade
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL indeed. Good thing this thread wasn't making fun of their race or gender. Whew! That would have been interesting! WTF is this here.

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RELATED:
    #2

    "God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others!" – Short People

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    James Heinle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I bought a midget at the midget store. They were 1/2 off.

    Spencer's slave
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My usual response to short comments is "I'm not short, I'm fun size..... like a little bar of chocolate - you always want more".

    Notyomama
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We are concentrated awesome!

    Parin Gadhesaria
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    What is the History of Roasts?

    Well, you know, it went probably like this – someone got bored with eating raw meat and decided to hold it for a while over a fire... Oh, wait, we’re not talking about those kinds of roasts, are we? 

    For the other kinds of roasts, the comedic ones, their history is documented much better, and you’ll be happy to know that the first official roast took place as early as 1949 at the New York Friars Club

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    You’ll also be glad to know that the form of a good old comedic roast hasn’t changed much since, and same as it was back then, it is still about a specific individual taking jokes at their own expense for the amusement of a wider audience. The only change these roasts took over the years is that they’re no longer confined to clubs or venues but can be easily done on the Internet. Case in point: the legendary roasts by Wendy’s, we’re sure you remember. 

    That said, roasts of the yesteryear used to be much harsher than they are these days, and that’s a much-welcomed change! Just take a look at the roasts for short people on this list and see how innocent and kind they really are.

    #3

    I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”

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    #4

    I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself “How could someone stoop so low?”

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    When do Short People don’t Like Jokes?

    Like tall people, short people usually don’t mind lighthearted, well-meaning jokes and might even make such a quip about themselves. However, there definitely are some instances when individuals might not like jokes about short people, such as: 

    The joke is disrespectful. If you’re about to make short person jokes, make sure they’re harmless and well-meaning. After all, a joke is to make people laugh rather than offend them.

    When the jokes turn into insults for short people, funny roasts for short people always balance on a thin line of becoming insulting. Know the difference between a roast and an insult before you share one publicly.

    Sensitive topics. If a person is clearly insecure because of their height, you might wish to abstain from trying to amuse them with jokes about short people altogether. Better safe and sorry!

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    A good rule of thumb about these roasts for short people would be this: would you find it funny if one of these jokes were addressed to you? If the answer is yes, you’re probably safe to share your ingenious quip!

    #5

    How do short people greet others? They microwave.

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    Jayant Shah
    Community Member
    1 month ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Roses are red violets are blue. God made me pretty, guess he forgot about you.

    Bernie Pierce
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i used this on my short friend lol (even tho i’m short)

    #6

    Small Gestures Matter

    Text on red background with a short people joke about giving a short person a hug. Appreciate the little things. Give a short person a hug.

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    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww... only if they are open to it, though

    Marie Dahme
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m 5’1”…. I would just climb on top of a chair. True story …. My fiancé before he passed away was 6’3” and me being short ….I looked like a little kid next to him!

    Seaweed
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not sure if I can go so low...

    Hagen Radcliffe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just keep “that stuff” outta my face (5ft.)

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    What are Some Good Short People Jokes and Insults?

    Since we’ve already discussed what kind of short people jokes might not be really appropriate, it is probably time to figure out which short person jokes could actually be called good. Thankfully, our readers were kind enough to vote for the jokes they enjoyed the most, and here are the top five based on their opinions: 

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    • You’ve really gotta hand it to short people because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
    • "God only lets things grow until they are perfect. Some of us didn’t take as long as others!" – Short People
    • I crashed into the back of a car at the lights today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
    • I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself “How could someone stoop so low?”
    • Keep looking up.” – Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.

    And if you were looking for something a bit spicier, like jokes for short girlfriend or funny insults, our readers have also voted on the best ones, too: 

    • Appreciate the little things. Give a short person a hug.
    • How do short people greet others? They microwave.
    • The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
    • You're so short when it rains; you are the last one to know.
    • I hope the next stage of your life comes with a ladder.
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    There you have it, the very best jokes and roasts for short people as voted by you. And if you’d like a bit more of this hilarity in your day, keep reading these short people jokes!

    #7

    “Keep looking up.” – Motivational advice for most people. Necessary advice for short people.

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    Notyomama
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially if you are 5'3 and have a boss that is over 6'5. Was looking at some papers while walking in the office and nearly face planted into his junk. That would have been very bad.

    #8

    Tall vs. Short Tall People: "I'm somewhere around 6 feet." Short People: "I'm 5 feet and 5.756432841 inches."

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    zovjraar me
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is true. i'm 4 foot 11 and 3 quarters inches. it matters lmao

    Kelsey Rivera
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ya my dad is 6'2 ish my aunt is 4'9 & 1/2 🤣🤣🤣

    Kelsey Rivera
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (Btw not related to that aunt by blood but I live in Hawaii so every one is aunt and uncle 🤷‍♀️)

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    KWilly
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    5' 1.25" and I am going to claim that .25 ALL DAY LONG!!

    Notyomama
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was 5'4 and 3/4. Now I'm 5'3 and a half. DDD is a b***h.

    Miss Frankfurter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Like when you're a young kid and someone asks you're age. You do the same thing so you sound older. When you get really old you announce you're age with pride. Yay! I made it!

    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if I just have really really long shoelaces?

    darryl Thompson
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 611 people ask me all the time. How tall are you i reply 5 feet 23 inches

    Evelyne Traversy
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Frrrrr I’am short as a f so I know how it feels

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    #9

    Just played miniature golf with a short person, but he just called it golf.

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    #10

    The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.

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    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmm... Maybe it is too hot? LOL

    SeaJaySea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else have their showers at the hottest temperatures?

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    SarCaustic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Short people in the rain: last to get wet, but first to drown.

    Tuesday's child
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The water pressure is actually pretty good

    James Heinle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Skinny people have to run around in the shower to get wet.

    #11

    Still Growing Mentally

    Humorous short people joke about height with a witty response. "Are you okay?" "No." "My height hasn’t changed since I was 12."

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    Amy Taylor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neither has mine...I've been 5'2" since I was 12 lol. I love being short...it's never bothered me. Especially on airplanes

    Jessica Cifelli
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Been 5 feet tall since I was 11. Hasn't changed a bit. It only bothers me when I have to climb ladders. But people are always willing to help short girls

    Borariet 🇳🇱
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My height hasn't changed since I was 12, just 181 cm female. It's considered quite tall for a woman even here in the Netherlands

    Hagen Radcliffe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too! I never realized it was so “normal” to stop growing at 12. All 5 of my brothers are tall. The family pictures are very carefully composed to include all parts of all of us!

    jim Bates
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jim said I wish I could have all fix for me for aver and stay vary healthy I am 49 hop to live to I am 90 at the most all in the us and in Minnesota war I live in in Anoka County I'm Minnesota and have it all fix for me and vary healthy all for me all for aver all from Jim him self

    Jasper Cool
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My height hasn't changed since I was 12 either. I'm 5'11...

    Hagen Radcliffe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That must have been terrible for a “little” kid. But at least now you can reach things for me!

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    #12

    Your so short when it rains; you are the last one to know.

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    SarCaustic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Last to get wet. First to drown.

    Doob
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You have the grammar of a sleep deprived 10 year old trying to write a 5 paragraph essay on the due date.

    Lia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if u read the weather forecast ?

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    #13

    I hope the next stage of your life comes with a ladder.

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    Robert T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of the Terry Pratchett character, Casanunder. He carried a ladder round with him to tackle his taller conquests! LOL

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    #14

    Sometimes when I look at short people I wonder. If they’re able to reach their goals.

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    Hagen Radcliffe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “A (persons) reach should exceed (its) grasp “ And then I just ask the closest tall-ish person to grab it for me!

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, my sister's goal was to be taller than my 5ft 1 height- she did not reach it :)

    Jessica Cifelli
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not only did I reach them, but I have surpassed them and have to create new goals

    #15

    Heightened Humor Ahead

    Text on a red background reads: "It's easy to make fun of short people... The jokes always go over their head." It's easy to make fun of short people... The jokes always go over their head.

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    PaigetheBookCat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you mean it's easy to call them short and they don't take offense cuz it's true

    Lemon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the person who said this is a jerk im only 4'8 1/2

    #16

    Be careful; the little guy might jump up and punch you in the knee.

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    Hawkmoon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if it arrives a little higher, you will understand even better that it was necessary to be wary of it.

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    #17

    At least one advantage of being small is getting to be in front in all pictures every time.

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    Alaina Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And an advantage to being tall! Always hidden in the back

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    Tuesday's child
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember all those class photos where I had to stand in the very front

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    #18

    I asked a short person to lend me 5 dollars yesterday. He said, “Sorry, I’m a little short.”

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    Tess Vazquez
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    his tiny hands probably couldnt even reach his wallet!

    #19

    Where is the worst place for a short person to stand at a concert? Behind anyone at all.

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    Miz Chelle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or at a concert where no one ever sits but stands up. But if your up front you go deaf.

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    #21

    Compact and Efficient

    Text on a red background says, "It's not that I am short, I simply have a built for speed and accuracy." It’s not that I am short, I simply have a built for speed and accuracy.

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    #22

    I love short people. They’re more down to earth.

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    #23

    Being the same height, shoe, and clothing size for the rest of your life since you were in 6th grade.

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    Hagen Radcliffe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Except my feet grew 1/2 a size for each pregnancy. I’m now a gigantic size 5 1/2. Trying to find “ grown- up lady” shoes is fun. Or sneakers without sparkles, Velcro or Barbie.

    Jakie Funk
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my feet are 12 inches and im 15 and im also 5,3

    Tuesday's child
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On the bright side, I never outgrew clothes ever again

    JS - 09SD 776595 The Woodlands SS
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I KNOW RIGHT, MY GRANDSON Always does this with his mother oh witasuihfliwkfaehfgiwauvrociquvyrli fuwy3ckuft ewliutrwleiue cflq iuwutfuqw

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    #24

    You're so short that Michaelangelo could make a life size sculpture of you with 1 can of play-dough.

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    Tuesday's child
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is the lamest burn I've ever seen

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    #25

    You know you are short when your shoelaces hit you in the head.

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if I just have really really long shoelaces?

    Cori Crabb
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if my shoes are on my head?

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    #26

    I’m not saying short people are inferior but I do look down on them.

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    #27

    Let us go. I will give you a ride. Hop into my pocket.

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    #28

    Dessert with a Twist

    Text on a coral background with a short people joke about strawberry shortcake. What is a short person’s favorite dessert? Strawberry Short Cake.

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    MicrowaveGoddess
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Strawberry Shortcake theme intensifies*

    Lizzy James
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do they still make that show? I grew up watching it on DVD

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    #29

    Short people are always sad because they can never reach happiness.

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    #30

    You look like you still have a lot of growing up to do.

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    #31

    You shouldn’t make fun of short people because it’s a little person too. I mean a little too personal.

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    #32

    What did the nurse say to the short person in the hospital waiting room? You are just going to have to be a little patient.

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    #33

    Bet You Didn’t See That One Coming

    You’ve got to hand it to short people… Well they can’t reach for themselves, can they?

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    #34

    Does anyone know the PC term for short people? Or do yall also struggle with gnomenclature?

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    #35

    ​My dad was short person but I still could never beat him in a running race. No matter how fast I ran, he was always a little father ahead.

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    #36

    You are so small you could sweep under your bed while standing.

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    #37

    Short people are oppressed. They’re always getting overlooked.

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    #38

    Say what you like about short people, at least they don’t look down on people.

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    #39

    What are short people??? Short people are the future. They consume less food, use less car fuel & more of them fit on the Earth.

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    François Carré
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which led to that amazing movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCrBICYM0yM

    #40

    You are so small you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

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    #41

    Who Comes Up With These, Seriously?

    Why do short people love shoe stores? The mirrors are the perfect height.

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    #42

    What is a short person’s favorite side order? A small fry.

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    #43

    Why did the short guy buy the house with the water fountain? Because he’s always wanted to own a swimming pool.

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    #44

    Attack on Titan is actually slice of life for short people.

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    Kaid Martinez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact I watched aot and get this scares me

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    #45

    I wonder how the weather is down there.

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    Ellen Ranks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Argh! I got the reverse of that one soo many times when I was young.... I was 5.11 or so

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    #46

    Did you hear the story about the short person who was climbing down the prison wall? It is a little con descending.

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    #47

    We’re Not Done Yet!

    I was walking to dinner with my then boyfriend and I asked him if he liked the heels I was wearing. He said, "Yes now you're almost the size of a normal person."

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    #48

    You are so small, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.

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    Katherine Boag
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its so annoying when bars only have stools

    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're so short you can swing your legs when you sit on a footstool. (I think this sounds better.)

    #49

    Why do short people have a hard time raising a family? Because they struggle to put food on the table.

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    #50

    My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people. It was just a little get together.

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    #51

    My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up with me making fun of her height. So tonight I’m going to make it up to her. I’ve got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show. When she gets in from work I’m going to order her favorite takeaway which we’ll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs. Then afterward I’m going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.

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    #52

    Why do the short people like the flying coach? The extra legroom.

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    #53

    One day short people will rule the world. All 5ft of it of course.

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    #54

    Why are short people so good at picking up girls? They are amazing at small talk.

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    #55

    Short people problem: because you are too short, the Sun visor doesn’t even work while you’re driving.

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    #56

    Fact: Short people always appear younger.

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    #57

    You are so small you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

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    #58

    Tall people and short people should never date. Long-distance relationships never work out.

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    #59

    Have you ever noticed that short people have more role models than anyone else? It is because they are looking up to everyone.

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    #60

    You know you are small if you think the people on the wedding cake are the actual bride and groom.

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    #61

    Why was the short person stuck in the elevator? Because they could not reach the door open button.

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    #62

    Why could the short guy not finish the fun-sized candy bar? It was too big!

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    #63

    You know you are small when your kids can keep things out of your reach.

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    #64

    I tried to go into a short people nightclub last night. The bouncer stopped me on the door and said I couldn’t go in. I asked, “Why not?” He said, “Because you’re not on the shortlist.”

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    #65

    What do short people call an iPad? A desktop computer.

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    #66

    Classic Or Cringe? You Decide

    You know you’re short when you use an espresso cup as a regular coffee mug.

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    #67

    What do you call a short person with a bad spray tan? An Oompa Loompa.

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    #68

    Do you know what always catches my eye? Short people with umbrellas.

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    #69

    You’re so short you could be drowned by heavy rains.

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    #70

    Never fight short people. They hit below the belt.

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    #71

    I didn't see you behind that grain of rice.

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    #72

    You know you are small when you can do pull-ups on a door handle.

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    #73

    When they sneeze, their heads hit the ground.

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    #74

    That’s One Way To Look At It

    I met this really short baker called Peter the other day. He was telling me all about baking flatbreads. It was fascinating. I love the Pita patter of tiny Pete.

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    #75

    The key to writing short people jokes is keeping them short.

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    #76

    You know you’re short when people ask you which Minion character you played in the movie.

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    #77

    You shouldn’t make fun of short people. They belittle themselves.

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    #78

    Why did the short person get fired from his job at the restaurant? The authorities found out he was being paid under the table.

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    #79

    I know a joke about a short person, it is short and funny.

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    #80

    How does a short person look you in the eye? They get on a ladder.

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    #81

    How does a short person take a bath? They get into the sink!

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    #82

    Kissing: either you have to tiptoe, or the other person has to kneel.

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    #83

    Short people tend to get angry quickly because they are so close to the ground their anger does not dissipate quickly.

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    #84

    You are so short I bet you do not have to bend to tie your shoelaces.

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    #85

    How does it feel playing with taller teammates or opponents in sports? It comes with significant challenges and advantages as well.

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    #86

    Tiny Joke, Huge Energy

    Why did the short guy fall asleep in his harness and helmet? Because he was tired from climbing into bed.

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    #87

    They are so small, when they sit on the curb, their feet swing back and forth.

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    #88

    Have you heard about those self-driving cars? It turns out it was just a bunch of short people driving around.

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    #89

    I raised the alarm at work today. The short people were furious.

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    #90

    Did you hear about the short person who escaped from jail? He’s a small medium who’s at large.

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    Hilary P
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a short fortune teller that escaped jail who is a small medium at large. Without the fortuneteller part, the medium makes no sense. Confirm and edit before you post, please.

    #91

    I bumped into an old short-height friend of mine yesterday. Small world.

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    #92

    Two short people walk into a mini-bar.

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    #93

    I’ve just seen a short person buying a packet of water balloons. Someone’s getting lucky tonight.

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    #94

    What kind of horse does a short person ride? A miniature horse.

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    #95

    “What do you want to be when you grow up?” – tall person to short person.

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    #96

    How does a short person reach the top shelf? They don’t.

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    #97

    Why did the short person bring a parachute to the bar? So they could get down from the barstool.

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    #98

    More Where That Came From

    What’s a short person’s favorite thing on the menu? Short ribs.

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    #99

    How do you win an argument with a short person? You stoop to their level.

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    #100

    Why did the short guy wear stilts? So he could be as tall as everyone else.

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    #101

    My friend who’s really short had a party the other night and he only invited other really short people.

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    James Heinle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was it a small get together? This doesn't make sense without the punchline from above.

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    #102

    How do short people go dress shopping? They buy t-shirts.

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    #103

    You are so short, I bet your parents left you at home most times when they went to the pool, because they’re scared you’ll drown in the kiddie pool.

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    #104

    Short people like you can use Legos for steps and not break a sweat.

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    #105

    I read a headline that said “short people are less intelligent than taller people” That can’t be true. Einstein was 5’7″ and Stephen Hawkin was 3’5″.

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    #106

    Is It Still Funny? Yes, Yes It Is

    What do short people call something that’s too high up? Absolute zero, because it’s impossible to reach.

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    #107

    Short people shouldn’t hate short jokes. We’re just complaining that we need more of them.

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    #108

    What’s so offensive about short people jokes? I consider them the height of comedy.

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    #109

    You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your dreams.

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    #110

    "Do you know what a little get-together is?" – A short people party

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    #111

    Height bullying is no joke. Seriously guys, we need to stop looking down on short people.

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    #112

    Where do short people like to go surfing? On microwaves.

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    #113

    Did you hear about the hot headed short person? He had a short temper.

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    #114

    What is the definition of frustration? A short person with a yoyo.

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    #115

    Stretch Your Legs For The Next One

    Why is a short person called a paragraph? Because he is too short to be an ese.

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    #116

    Why was the short person arrested? Small arms offenses.

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    #117

    Short girl: "How do you see up there?" Tall guy: "Who said that?" I spit my drink out and then ran away.

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    #118

    I would joke but it might not reach to your ears.

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    #119

    You're so short that you should be making toys for Santa.

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    #120

    You are so short that that have to slam dunk your bus money to get it in.

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    #121

    You're so short that you make Webster look like a giant.

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    #122

    What does a short pirate do with a toothpick? They use it as a peg leg.

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    #123

    Coming down the stairs must feel like skydiving for you.

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    #124

    How do short people shoot a bow and arrow? With a rubber band and a toothpick.

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    #125

    I was shocked to read in the papers today that a short person had been pickpocketed. I just thought to myself, how could someone stoop so low?

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    #126

    Can You Relate Or Are You Too Tall?

    Your so short, you can play handball on the curb.

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    #127

    Look straight into my eyes. Hold in, let me get a step ladder.

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    #128

    What do you call a poor short person? Short changed.

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    #129

    I saw a really short guy walking to catch a bus today. When he saw it coming down the road he broke into a jog. It was getting closer and he still wasn’t at the bus stop so started sprinting but it drove off before he got there. It was too little too late.

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    #130

    I saw a short-height nun today. All I could think was, “Oh ye of little faith.”

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    #131

    “Jump in and I’ll take you home,” I said to my really short neighbor who was sat at the bus stop. “Get lost!” he said. I said, “Ok, suit yourself,” as I straightened up my rucksack and carried on with my walk.

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    #132

    What position does a short person play on a basketball team? The ball.

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    #133

    Keep Scrolling, It Only Gets Better

    How do short people go shopping for pants? They buy shorts.

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    #134

    What 3 things does a short person need to take a bath? Floaties, a snorkel, and a lifeguard.

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    #135

    Why did the short guy lose the race? He was a little slow.

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    #136

    Diet soda is a regular soda for a short person.

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    #137

    My local funeral service is offering a 2-for-1 deal on coffins. But only to short people.

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    #138

    Must be tough needing a step stool to kiss your wife good bye each day.

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    #139

    I can see you’ve chosen not to grow over the past few years.

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    #140

    Behind every short woman is a house decoration that was being hidden.

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    #141

    Short people are materialistic. Tall people are bigger than that. They can see past it.

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    #142

    Stop making jokes on short people. It’s not funny if the person getting trolled can’t enjoy it. After all, most of the jokes go way over their heads.

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    #143

    ​Why are short constantly thirsty? They can't reach the drinking fountains.

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    #144

    I met a short person once, my conversation with her was extremely awkward. I am not very good when it comes to small talk.

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    #145

    Always, and I mean always listen to a short people opinion. They always know what is up.

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    #146

    I have a lot of respect for the short people in my community. I feel it would be really wrong to look down on them.

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    #147

    What talking robot movie do all short people love? Short circuit.

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    #148

    I got told off today for making a joke about a short person. It was over something small though.

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    #149

    Two tall guys walk into a bar. Why didn’t the short guy walk into the bar too? He walked under it.

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    #150

    People tend to hug your head more than your body.

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    #151

    Thinking you were average height until you started high school, and everyone other than you kept growing.

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    #152

    Why do short people always have food in their teeth? Because they cannot pick up a toothpick.

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